'I never saw this coming'
Disclaimer: Ken Akamatsu wrote 'Love Hina' and he owns the rights. This tale written for fun, and I seek no re-dress from it.
Writer's note: The title comes from events that happened to the people living at the Hinata. Some of them have to do a double take, think deeply about what is going on, or just say 'WTF'.
It starts off as a comedy, turns into a comedy-of-errors and that is when the real fun begins.
Kanako and Sarah are both older in this tale which will soon be obvious to everyone.
Most of the first chapter will deal with flashbacks from Keitaro's POV. There will be time lags and jumps throughout, so be prepared.
-Chapter 1-
Our tale began simple enough…
Urashima Keitaro sat on the roof of his home which looked out over Hinata City down below and the metropolis of Tokyo off in the distance. Ensconced here, he mulled over certain choices that he had made over the past few years that concerned his life. Well, as his life is now. It was also something he knew was long overdue.
Things had really been strange around what used to be the old Hinata Inn and Girl's Hostel which had the Kanrinin wondering if Karma had bitch-slapped everyone who lived here.
However, he was not alone in this opinion. We will come back to that later…
A little over three years ago:
Keitaro finally passed that damned two-day Tokyo University entrance exam. He had failed the same one on a couple of previous occasions. That was the reason for his present living situation in dealing with a bunch of misfit young women and their idiosyncrasies.
Since he was the only son and his sister was adopted, his parents had expected him to take over the family's successful Patisserie and Confectionary.
'Like that is ever going to happen,' Keitaro thought back in the present day. He then had some pleasant company join him as his musings continued.
He though had loftier goals for his life, but said life and one woman named Urashima Hina threw a big 'monkey-wrench' into the mix.
At least he ended up getting the better of her later, as we will find out…
After he found his number had been posted, Keitaro had to choose a course of study and register for classes a short time later. Since digging in the ground no longer fascinated him, he decided to take a different course of study and opted instead for computer graphic design since he had a love for art.
He had not regretted this choice…
A certain brunette disappeared from his view shortly after she went into the city with him to check out the Toudai applicant postings. She stood there and stared at the board in disbelief, and when Keitaro turned to say something to her, she yelled, "Fuck off," before they disappeared into the crowd.
Keitaro did receive a nice surprise from his other companion that day.
He decided not to go and look for Naru when she ran away. Too many times she had launched him across the sky for perceived perversions would cause a man finally to 'wise up' no matter how much he might love a woman. It was not worth his time anymore and he no longer cared. Her petulance here was the last straw.
Sighing over lost opportunities, Keitaro happily walked to the tram station alone and went home. Nothing was going to ruin his day as he had too much to celebrate.
At least no Naru punch came his way…
In the middle of climbing the steps up to his home, he made the decision to call his parents and tell them the good news. Maybe he could finally get back into their good graces, but he did not count on it. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed a familiar number.
His mother was pleased, but as for his father, well that was a different story. At least he no longer lived under their roof.
Shrugging, Keitaro put that thought out of his mind.
After he slid open the front door to his home, Keitaro saw that the other residents had hung a banner that read, 'おめでとなさい', across the main stairwell. (Writer's note: Omedetō nasai = Congratulations.)
With a smile at the recognition, he took off his shoes and put on his house-slippers.
That accomplished, the newly minted Toudai student saw six pairs of eyes as they gawked at him.
None of them knew what to think at that moment, because Keitaro was all by himself.
"What the fuck?" whispered Kitsune loud enough for Keitaro to hear. The others ignored her.
Keitaro stood there alone with a smile and allowed the anticipation to swell for a few moments. There was nothing worse than just blurting out good news.
Haruka and a now fifteen-year-old Sarah were up here as well. Both for very different reasons however.
The four remaining residents sat with them in the common room.
"Well, Keitaro," said Haruka who finally broke the silence. For once, she did not have a burning cigarette hanging from her lips. She had quit smoking due to her pregnancy.
"Mutsumi and I both passed. Haven't a clue about Naru though, it seems she has run off somewhere," quipped Keitaro. His tone was rather neutral for some reason.
"It's about time, Keitaro," said Sarah sarcastically. Since she now had reached puberty, nature had calmed her down and besides that, was very generous to her. That was probably why she did not pull out a priceless artifact out of thin air and smash it over his head.
Seated beside her, Haruka chuckled and was in fact very happy that he had finally passed his exam. It was tough for her, even though she only had to take it once.
Later that day, Kaolla tried to kick Keitaro in the face from the stairwell to acknowledge his achievement. Somehow, he managed to sidestep the Princess and caught her instead. When he set the young teen down on her feet, she blushed very deeply.
"I'm glad you caught me this time, Keitaro," the Princess said with a smile before she kissed his cheek and happily scampered away.
Any mention of a certain hotheaded brunette or melon-girl that were absent, was missing from the supper conversation that evening. Keitaro saw three other young women who smiled at him: One now fully recovered and very sober Fox who was in love with Keitaro and had waited for the right time to finally step in; a demon-slaying Samurai who had just defeated her older sister in a duel and then surprisingly confessed her love to the man she used to despise; and a no longer shy petite chef as she surprised him the most.
On the roof once again, Keitaro smiled about what had happened to him later that same evening.
After eating a meal that was fit for the emperor himself, Keitaro got up from the table and headed over to the onsen. Not to clean it mind you, but to use it.
Seated on the men's side, he stripped and commenced to wash himself. With a smile on his face over the fact that he would shortly be a Toudai student, he knew that there needed to be some new priorities set for his life.
However, Keitaro was not alone for very long as those priorities now set themselves in motion.
The door slid open and closed just as quickly.
"Hey, sweetie," said the sultry voice of a Kansai-accented Fox, "Haruka-san and Sarah-chan have just left, so I came to see if I could wash your back."
Keitaro turned and gazed upon Kitsune as she stood there wrapped in nothing but a towel.
All he could was nod.
Thankfully, he did not get a nosebleed or pass out. But another part of him had responded, and rather splendidly.
She then sauntered over to him and saw how splendidly.
Less than a minute later, Motoko came in and regarded the fact that Kitsune had beaten her to him. Not allowing that to deter her, she stepped over while wearing a full-on blush and joined her Senpai to care for Keitaro's needs.
She knelt beside Kitsune and washed him as well.
Motoko could no longer be silent about this present situation, and declared, "After defeating my Ane-ue in a duel, I had openly declared my love for Keitaro. I wish to renew my confession."
Without hesitation, she stunned the two with her. Motoko leaned in, kissed Keitaro full on the mouth and used a lot of tongue. That was her first French kiss.
Recovering quickly, Kitsune laughed and said, "Let the man breathe, Motoko-chan."
When she broke the kiss, Motoko moved aside and sensed that Keitaro did not fully register anything at this moment. Before she could kiss him again, Kitsune had stepped in.
"Let me show you how it is done," said a smiling Fox. She grabbed a still slightly stunned Keitaro and kissed him for all he is worth.
While all of these shenanigans went on in the wash area, a third person silently strode in clad like the other two and declared in a soft, but very firm voice, "I want to kiss him too!"
Kitsune, Motoko and a stupefied Keitaro stopped and looked over at the towel clad Shinobu. That was a big surprise for the three of them.
The look in Shinobu's eyes spoke volumes on many levels. She saw Kitsune and Motoko fawn all over the object of her desire. It was an something that she had been working her courage up for, so without further ado.
Back on the roof, Keitaro suppressed a chuckle…
"Let's move aside for her and see what she does, Motoko-chan," said Kitsune who laughed at the irony. Secretly, she has rooted a longtime for Shinobu.
All three were in shock when Shinobu straddled a soap-covered Keitaro and placed her arms around his neck. She then said to him, "I love you, Senpai," and then proceeded to give Keitaro a kiss that left him with a long-lasting impression of her. As well as partially devastated…
Kitsune said to Motoko out the side of her mouth, "We both had been duped by that fainting and screaming act of hers." The younger woman thoroughly impressed her.
To which Motoko could only nod, as she could not take her eyes off the spectacle that played itself out in front of them. It staggered her imagination, and gave her new ideas for another romance novel.
Nonetheless, things did not end there. Not by a longshot.
Keitaro turned a slight bit red at the next memory…
In the onsen with three towel-clad beauties was the least of Keitaro's problems that evening. The problems (or opportunities) began when all three doffed their coverings and gave him a good view of what he could have if he ever wanted it.
Minor nosebleeds aside, no one except for Kaolla slept any that night. It seemed that Keitaro would not be alone anymore when he went to bed. Three young women woke up a little sore between their legs the next morning with a smile on their faces.
'I am so 'going to hell' for what I did that night,' he mused with a laugh, 'At least the two are of age now.'
A few weeks later, Keitaro remembered that he had received an even bigger surprise.
After he had ordered a king-sized bed for his newly expanded room and arranged for its delivery, Mutsumi and Naru came waltzing in the front door. The two women held hands as they seemed without a care in the world. Both wore the same sunny smile on their faces as they now stood in the foyer.
"Where in the hell have you two been for last few weeks?" asked Keitaro who looked both annoyed and relieved at the same time. He had just finished repairing the hole in Naru's floor. Well, that ended that, anyhow…
A slight pause in momentum here, as the two women took a moment to digest a change in Keitaro's attitude.
There was no over-reaction from a certain brunette, only a sigh. One of relief more than sadness.
"Well, Keitaro. That is what Naru-chan and I need to talk to you about," said Mutsumi out-of-the-blue and with no preamble. First, she looked to Naru who nodded, and then back to Keitaro.
"What? No hello first," blurted Keitaro as his annoyance kicked in. He was no longer afraid of any consequences from the former object of his obsession.
"Gomen," muttered the two as they doffed off their shoes.
Since no one else was home at that time, Keitaro had the three off them sit in the common room so that they could talk.
There was a pregnant pause at first, then…
"You first," said Keitaro straight-faced. He wanted to get to the bottom of what had happened to them and receive closure at the same time. Keitaro almost regretted saying those two words.
As Mutsumi started, nothing prepared Keitaro for what she was about to confess to him which concerned the time that she and Naru had been away. For support, she kept a hold onto Naru's hand.
Although not as dense as he once was, Keitaro took notice of their body language. That was when things began to dawn on him.
'It could only happen to me,' he thought back on the roof.
However, to encapsulate the events of what happened: Naru thought she had failed her exam, ran off to Kyoto in a snit to think, Mutsumi chased after and found her, they talked and afterwards confessed to each other.
He knew it had to be thus. His luck with these two had always been bad, or even iffy at best.
Next, Naru gave him something good to chew on…
"The Dean of Students called me on my cell phone a couple of days later and told me that there had been a glitch in the grading system. It seems that my score was tabulated incorrectly, as were a few others, and they had to re-total them. When all was said and done, I had a very high score," said Naru happily who would start an Education curriculum in April because she wanted to be a teacher.
"Excellent," said Keitaro with a smile.
Now, the other shoe dropped…
"We must confess something else as well, Kei-kun," said Mutsumi who felt rather sheepish, "It was not you I had confessed to when we were children. I recently found out that it was to Naru-chan instead I confessed to when we were children (She held up their clasped hands), but it seems that we all were too young to know who it was at the time. My Oba-san told me what really had happened and who said what. So, don't be angry with me."
"Hmmm…," he replied with a slight head tilt, "then that explains it."
His mild response flabbergasted the two.
The hole only became deeper, as Keitaro received another big surprise.
With her courage gathered, Naru released Mutsumi's hand and stood to face Keitaro. She bowed and said, "Please forgive me for my violent behavior and for always hitting you when I did. With Mutsumi-chan's help, I finally realized why I had reacted so violently towards you." She stopped suddenly and looked back at Mutsumi.
The Okinawan smiled and patted the couch next to her. She saw that what they wanted to confess to Keitaro next was very difficult for Naru to do.
Seated again, Naru took a hold of Mutsumi's hand again and breathed a big sigh of relief.
"Whoa," said Keitaro as he stared at his former flame. He never saw that coming.
"Keitaro," said Mutsumi after a few moments of silence, "I am going to come right out and say this, as you have a right to know. (Pause) When Naru-chan saw that her name was not on the board, she ran off. After kissing you for passing the exam, I chased after her. A short time later, I caught up to her and we talked for quite a while. Then, we boarded a train for Kyoto and stayed with some relatives of mine."
His hunch was right.
Here is where Naru chimed in again after she had worked up some more courage. "When we were alone at her Oba-san's house, Mutsumi-chan listened to me as I ranted and raved about everything. It finally dawned on me why I got so violent and lashed out at you the way I did. To put it mildly Keitaro, and with no offense to you, I don't like men in a romantic way."
Keitaro listened intently, and at last realized why Naru had always pushed him away. Her last sentence clued him in. It sideswiped him a little, but he did have plenty of hints that he conveniently chose to ignore. Maybe it was because he thought that she was his so-called 'promise girl'.
"Yes, Keitaro," interjected Mutsumi, "I believe you know what she is talking about."
Nodding, Keitaro came right out and said, "You two are gay. That can be the only explanation as to why she would violently launch me into lower earth orbit." He did not expect a violence response from the brunette.
Naru and Mutsumi nodded together in acknowledgment. The brunette felt sheepish and turned a deep shade of red.
"Motherfucker," hissed Keitaro in a whisper at their confirmation. Inside, he tried to keep from laughing.
Both women missed that euphemism as the chat continued…
"I have always been bisexual, Keitaro," said Mutsumi who clarified things a bit more, then she added, "But, I was always attracted more towards women."
"Me, I came out about two weeks ago after letting go of all my anger," confessed Naru who had nothing else to lose as she admitted this to him.
Today, Keitaro would not be the only one to receive a surprise.
Back in the present, Keitaro laughed out loud…
As he took some time to let it all sink in, Keitaro asked the two many questions about the time that they were away. Patiently, he waited for an opportunity to drop his own little bombshell.
"Well, Kei-kun," said Mutsumi in a more familiar tone, "if we can continue to live here, Naru-chan and I would like to share are room together."
"That shouldn't be a problem, Mutsumi," replied Keitaro.
While saw how well her former suitor had taken in everything so far, it perplexed Naru to no end. She was about to ask her own questions, when Keitaro interrupted her.
"You are not the only one who has something to confess…," said Keitaro before the front door slid open and interrupted him.
As he began to speak up, into the foyer came Kitsune, Motoko and Shinobu from outside and rapidly changed out of their street shoes.
An explanation of what he had been up to was about to play itself out before the eyes of our newly minted yuri couple.
Having put their house slippers on, the trio at first headed towards the main stairway. Having spied the object of their affection as he sat in the common room, the three veered off very quickly and joined the others.
When she saw what happened next, Naru almost had a massive stroke.
Shinobu, who was first into the common room, made a beeline for Keitaro and straddled on his lap. Without hesitation, she threw her arms around his neck and gave him a big French kiss in front of the two opposite them.
Mutsumi, surprised like her girlfriend, smiled at the scene which played itself out before her.
"Damn it! The little minx beat me again," said Kitsune as she entered the room. She ignored the two runaways out-of-hand.
At the ash-blonde's statement, Motoko smiled and snickered. Unlike her Senpai, she was patient enough to wait until the other two had finished with him. She had nothing to say to the two returnees as well.
They knew that Keitaro would deal with them.
"What the hell is this? Shinobu is only fifteen," hissed the brunette barely above a whisper.
Naru thought she had hallucinated when her old crony gave Keitaro a tongue-laden kiss after Kitsune was done.
"She won't be eighteen until December," said Mutsumi for clarification as she snickered.
The brunette shook her head and whispered, "Okay, turnabout is fair play."
"I see what has been going on while Naru-chan and I were away," said Mutsumi who laughed openly at the irony. She reached over and gave her girlfriend a comforting pat on the knee.
With all the players in place save two: Shinobu turned, but stayed on Keitaro's lap; Kitsune took his right side and Motoko ensconced herself on his left. The two older women had closely leaned into him.
As an alarm went off in her head, Motoko perceived a look of incredulity on Naru's face and tensed up in case she wanted to get violent with her lover. The demon-slayer then noticed her holding hands with the other woman.
Assessing the situation quickly, Kitsune said, "Well, I see that we have a lot going on here."
"You aren't shitting me, Kitsune," said Naru still trying to take everything in, "I didn't think that he could, or even would, do that with either of you."
"Well, Naru-Sempai. He most certainly has," said Motoko with a smug look. She then took Keitaro's left arm and situated it between her substantial breasts.
"All three, Keitaro. I see that you were very busy while Naru-chan and I were gone," quipped Mutsumi teasingly. She fully understood everything now.
At her girlfriend's statement, Naru nodded and giggled.
Then a comment came that cut right to the heart of things here, although rather crudely.
"It seems that you two are playing on the other team now," commented Kitsune with a smirk. The irony was not lost on her.
However, Motoko and Shinobu gave the Fox a puzzled look.
Keitaro snickered. He dropped the serious façade when Kitsune spoke up.
Suddenly, a look of realization hit the younger two. They slowly turned their heads and stared at the two women seated across from them.
"Yes, we are," replied Mutsumi as she tried not to snicker.
Once again, Naru nodded in agreement before she laughed out loud.
With her answer such as it was, both women openly declared that they were now a Yuri couple in every sense of the word.
To prove it, Mutsumi and Naru then shared a very deep and passionate French kiss in front of their friends.
Kitsune, Motoko and Shinobu just stared. It took a little time for their actions to sink in, especially Naru's part in their new relationship.
"What the fuck… You two are now a lesbian couple and Keitaro has a harem. This could only happen to us," blurted Kitsune with absolutely no propriety, "and hey, I had to cut through all of this bullshit somehow. (She turned to Mutsumi) When did this all begin?"
Five sets of eyes turned to Kitsune.
"Well, I'm serious. Let's start talking like adults and stop all this 'pussy-footing' around," re-iterated Kitsune as she stood her ground.
"I can't argue with that," said Keitaro as he leaned back and relaxed.
For the next few hours and all through dinner, six people put all of their cards on the table and hashed everything out.
After everyone helped with the kitchen duty, Shinobu made some coffee and tea for everyone to share.
"Where's Kanako and Kaolla-chan?" asks Naru.
"Kanako-chan will be back in a couple of weeks," replied Keitaro, "She is with Hina Baa-chan. Kaolla-chan, is in Molmol as it seems that her Onee-san is to become the queen soon. None of us could go because of other commitments."
"Oh," replied the brunette.
Back in the present…
As the sun set, Keitaro smiled at how well everything had turned out back then. The 'shit could have really hit the fan', but he thanked the pantheon of Shinto gods that it did not. Three years have passed by without too many major incidents happening, but time will only reveal what it wants.
Nearby, Mutsumi and Naru shared a kiss as the sun went off into the west.
Keitaro, with Kitsune on one arm, Motoko on the other with Shinobu between his legs, was thankful that peace now reigned at the Hinata. Except for when Kaolla tried to blow something up or an eighteen-year-old Sarah would flash her huge boobs at him on a regular basis. (At least he was no longer the target as the 'mad scientist' flashed him too) There was also a new boarder by the name of Maeda Ema, who sat quietly next to the Princess.
This strange and even weird little family looked ahead toward a bright future together, at least until the expected return of a certain someone. Then all bets would be off.
The next day, a resident was about to disturb the 'force'. (Writer's note: I just could not resist)
Speaking of which, as the front door slid open…
"Are you home, Onii-chan," said a voice from down in the front foyer.
-End of chapter-