Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

This only occurred to him as he straddled an eight-foot-high palm tree, creeping up one of the branches where the rows and columns of dimly-lit tables couldn't see him unless they knew he was there and looked really, really close. But-! It was the best spot in the house- to watch Killua sit across the table from his date, to see what this side of Killua really looked like. He knew it wasn't exactly the moral thing to do, but Killua was his friend, and he just… wanted to be sure it went well. Right! Because Killua was really, really excited for it, went as far as to do his hair, and dress up with a tie and everything, and even wear that cologne he didn't know Killua had that made it hard to smell his natural scent and it made his nose twist so badly that his eyes burned-!

"Gon, just because it's a side of me you haven't seen doesn't mean it isn't me."

Yeah. That'd been mean of Killua to say. He was his best friend in the whole world! He liked to think he'd seen every side of him. He'd seen Killua happy, with sparkles in his eyes that made his blue look like a cloudless sky; he'd seen Killua rage, with nails cutting, white viscous aura blazing, sparking to life with electricity that made the hair on his body stand stiff like his will. He'd seen Killua scream and laugh and grow dizzy. He'd felt more than heard Killua wailing, calling for him when he'd hurt him the way nobody else ever had, and every time he heard his name in that voice in that way, it felt like claws down his back and neck and heart.

He knew Killua. For him to imply anything else…

No, he did know Killua! He knew him better than anybody else! So this was a side Killua should have shown him a lot sooner. This new side, done up in white and black with a forest green tie at his porcelain neck, that soft, wild hair combed and gelled so he could see his face- the sharp nose that curved and tinted red when Killua was embarrassed, those salt lake eyes on that soft, gentle face that melted if he said the right thing, his lower lip that became so pronounced when he pouted, far enough out that he could pinch down on it and pull...

He paused.

"We've already kissed, you know! She was all over me!"

That was another side of Killua he hadn't seen. The side of Killua that was interested in girls, who thought about things like kissing and touching and… well, he guessed the word was mating. Like foxbears. He hadn't ever seen Killua amorous before. Well, he'd seen him watch those films on the TV when they were in York New and all, but they were just too busy popping from place to place to ever really talk about that. He wondered if that was normal for other guys, talking about kissing girls and what they'd do to a girl if they had one.

He knew the sailors on Whale Island talked about the things they'd done to girls, the things they were gonna do to their wives when they returned home for the season. They'd talked to him about it, sometimes, taught him things about what women liked, how he could tell he'd done something right, told him about all of the spots to kiss, touch, and bite. He didn't think about it often. It seemed kinda pointless to, when he had no girl and so much room to grow into his power. Even the last few years, and yes, he'd noticed, with all of the attention he'd been getting from girls (they liked to touch his arms a lot, and his chest, and it felt nice, but then Killua would call to him and it was like he was numb to anything that wasn't his stomach, high between his lungs, and it wouldn't stop until he was rolling in his presence like a dog in the grass). Killua didn't seem to think about girls, either, and he figured he was too focused on Alluka and Nanika, or his family, or his own nen abilities, growing together with him as he always was, to talk up the ladies. He and Killua were just like that, he thought. He figured they'd always be like that. Together forever, just them and Alluka, going on adventures for as long as destiny would let them live, side-by-side. But now things were changing, Killua was changing. His best friend Killua.

Who wasn't planning to come home tonight. Who was on a date with a girl. She would get to see that side of Killua, that side of him that even he didn't get to see. But she already got to see a side of Killua he didn't get to! Killua acted weird and made funny faces in the mirror for her. Killua dressed up for her. Killua gelled his hair for her. Killua kissed her and she'd only known him for a day! Heck, he'd only known her for an hour before he'd just- just-! Kissed her! And what was that supposed to mean? That Killua really, really liked girls that much? That she was just so amazing that Killua fell for her as soon as he laid eyes on her?! What made her so special?!

So maybe, maybe that was really why he was camped out in a palm tree. Eyes on smiling, blushing Killua, who was leaning over the table, and so was she. They were a little too close, with Killua's elbows on the edge, her hair falling over her shoulder as she tilted her chin at him coyly. He huffed. If he closed his eyes and focused, he knew he'd hear Killua's easy strength, timbre, sweet, chiming. He knew he'd hear Killua breathe, and he may even (if he steadied his nen and focused- really, truly focused…) hear his heartbeat. Slow. Composed. Balletic like all things Killua did, stark and enduring the way Killua had always held him up, even when the weight was too great for anyone else... Happy.

Killua's laughter broke out, and even if the years on Whale Island hadn't bred him like a bloodhound, he was sure he'd still feel it. He could hear its ring, infectious, unexpected, and as always, it was a mystery to him how the world didn't stop and stare.

He smiled, as was only natural when Killua was gleaming like the moon.

Killua was raising a breadstick to take a bite, and his eyes were wide and focused, all lights on her as her lips moved, wild, recounting a tale. And oh. That kind of hurt. Killua's eyes on her. Killua laughing with her. Paying her all of his attention. But usually Killua only looked like that when he was looking at him, usually Killua was paying attention to him- him and his stupid ideas, his stubborn streak, his violence (as he paved highways to ambitions). But Killua was looking at her, he didn't see anything but her. If he called right then, would Killua pick up?

He shook his head viciously. Stupid question, Gon! Killua would definitely pick up! He was supposed to be looking after Alluka!

Uh oh, he was supposed to be looking after Alluka... Well, Alluka said she was fine, that she'd actually appreciate time to herself because she was a growing girl who wanted to watch romantic dramas without her brother mumbling about how melodramatic they were or her pseudo-big-brother asking a million questions because he just couldn't grasp that the protagonist's twin was not the protagonist, nor that he was evil and yes him putting on that tux to marry the love interest was bad. She'd given him the go-ahead, though she'd made sad eyes at him and asked that he bring home some red meat because she'd been craving it. Nanika had been craving it.

Some waiter dropped a plate and he blinked, brought back to the situation at hand with the tree branches between his arms and legs and Killua's table twenty meters ahead of him. He'd lost sight of it for a moment. So much could have happened in that time!

But Killua was still just smiling at her, and she was still smiling at him. So maybe not.

What was the point of him being here, anyway? To help? To torture himself with Killua's eyes (they looked so soft, right now, and he used to look at him like that)? Was he here to make a huge scene and ruin the date? So Killua wouldn't kiss her again? So she wouldn't take Killua home and get to see even more of him? So she wouldn't bite his neck and take his buttons in her fingers and slip her hands between his tucked ends and the waistband and touch him and hear the sounds he'd never heard Killua make? No, that hurt, that hurt so bad. Worse than any lost arm, worse than Bisky strongarming him into one more push-up. But the images wouldn't stop. Killua's head tilted back, eyes fluttering shut, her lips on his throat and going down. Killua touching her, using his stupid, able grace, putting his hands to work, slipping into places they shouldn't go, making her whine like the women in his stupid movies. Killua under her with a fist in a pillow, and all he could hear was Killua humming, breathing, smiling-

His hands clenched around the branch, and he grinded his teeth as his nails scratched and filled with wood shavings.

He watched as she reached across the table, analyzed and memorized the way she drew trails over his skin with one promising finger. Did Killua like that? He leaned back, threw an arm over the headrest and grinned that way he did; narrowed eyes, thin smile, cocky. Killua was always so cocky. Gon grunted, eye twitching upwards. His heart! It was squeezing and imploding, nails in his chest, pushing down on his lungs. It hurt! It hurt! No, no, no! Killua hadn't gotten mad like this when he'd gone on that date with Palm, so he had to keep his cool, too. (But that was different, he'd had no intention of touching Palm like that, or letting her touch him, see him like that, the way Killua wanted to be seen) He scowled.

Killua's eyes went wide, and his face (soft, white, so red like leaves falling on Whale Island, the last vestige of fall as winter may come) went flush. Gon tilted his head. What?

And suddenly his date was bent over the table, breasts bouncing, back arched between them, and her face-! No. She was right against Killua's lips, just a breath away. He knew they'd kissed, Killua had told him as much, but this felt wrong, it felt mean. Now, he was here to see it happen, and Killua didn't push her away. Killua didn't turn his head. Killua… Killua was…!

The branch gave a long, sickening crack under his bare hands, and he clenched at what was left of the tree arm before he went down, down, down...

"You have three seconds to explain." Gon yelped as he shoved him into the hallway, empty save for some wandering couples, locked arm-in-arm. He stumbled for just one step before he twisted back to face him, wrapping his hands behind his back- perfect picture of innocence. Gon always looked like that when he did something wrong. Maybe because he was only doing what his gut told him to, maybe because he'd played with reason, found an excuse to do what he'd wanted and justified away whatever smidge of guilt might have been there. Usually, it was annoying, endearing only in the sense that Gon was so sweet about it, so sure.

Right now, he was just annoyed.

Gon smiled, all honeycomb sweet, "I was just wondering how your date was going!"

"Two."

"You forgot your Hunter ID at the hotel!"

"One."

Gon's smile seemed to snap like a thin twig, something gnawing at it with icy-torrid claws, "You can't just let her kiss you like that!" Killua blinked, a little surprised. That wasn't even a bit what he'd been expecting. He thought it may have been something along the lines of I wanted to make sure Killua was doing it right or I got bored at home, either of which would have been bad, because the response Gon would have gotten would have been either Don't stick your nose in my business or Well I'm busy! This response, though, he hadn't anticipated, and therefore had no comeback predetermined.

"...Huh?"

Gon seemed different, then, different from how he'd been when he was helping Killua with his tux, different from when he first mentioned this girl or kissing her (even if it had been a blatant, straight-faced lie). His fists were clenched, wound so tightly he could hear his skin stretch under the pressure, eyes glued to his shoes, lost and brown with no honey that burned like venom, lips in a thin line, so unlike him. There was a flash, again, you have it easy, Killua. He swallowed, choosing to ignore the intensity and just act normal. Normal.

"You left Alluka all alone, you idiot. I asked you to keep watch over her."

Gon seemed taken aback, eyes wide, reeling as though he'd struck him. His vacant brown eyes seemed to grow guilty, heavy. He glanced to the floor, "That's true but… but…"

He knew Adalet was waiting for him. He knew he should have dismissed Gon, returned to his table and carried on with the rest of the best night ever as planned. But he couldn't. Not when Gon looked so sad. He was a sucker and he knew it. Lost in love, lost to him, just as he always had been. Hah, and he'd thought he was getting over him tonight. As always, Gon had thrown a wrench into those plans simply by being Gon. Simply by being his most important person, "Gon, what's this all about?"

Gon looked up at him, again, and that honey was beginning to pool under the brown with something softer than what he was used to, honest, sweet, good. He seemed certain of what he would say next, one step forward with his shoulders back. Killua almost backed away from the sheer intensity of it, felt the gelled hair on his head raise with his aura. Gon. So close to his space, pressing against the edges of it, squishing that imaginary bubble up, up against his heart. The weight of Gon's gaze sucked the breath out of his chest, drawing it from his lips as he backed away.

"I don't want… anybody else to take you from me. I don't want to share you with anyone!" Gon's voice was as stubborn as he was, solid and true, so much so that he felt he could touch the words. Gon said it as though there was no room for argument; this was all or nothing and he refused to take the shorter stick. Gon's eyes eclipsed, narrowed, and he could see him gearing for a fight, but there was something else in his encompassing flame- something he couldn't read, something that made his stomach flip, heart twist because Gon looked sad. Gon looked like he'd come to him, sword drawn, demanding taxes he couldn't pay. That was new, feeling like he was demanding something of Gon, that it wasn't Gon's whim and he was flying with it because the situation was fine as long as he could clean it up. He wasn't usually the one making requests, asking that Gon give him something he couldn't.

(Aside from the obvious, but he'd never dare ask for that. He wouldn't. No matter the temptation.)

To his surprise, Gon's hands reached upwards. He stuttered as Gon stuck his fingers in his smoothed-back curls and disturbed the gel and the hairspray, every touch warm, fingers gentle but certain. His palms cradled him, and the heat swallowed his senses through the skin, like a hot towel to a head cold. He bit back a hum, or a sigh, as Gon scratched the product out of place with nails that made him weak in the knees. This wasn't fair. Gon couldn't do this to him. Sparring and hugging and bathing was bad enough, made him want for more than he should, teased and tempted him like a fool to the end of a stick, reaching for a carrot. Every tug was another dull pain in a bucket of hurt that just didn't seem to stop. He wanted this, wanted that touch, the connection, but not when he couldn't have more. Gon's hands cradling his head, fingers tangled in strands that wrapped around every tip and drew stiff when he gently pulled- how was he supposed to be okay? Gon's scowl had grown gentle, and he was looking Killua in the face instead of glaring at his tie, hair, tux, thumbs brushing the cusp of his ears. He seemed to take pleasure in the mess he'd made of his hair, like just doing that had given him some peace.

He watched as Gon paused, eyes roaming over his- everything, really, but mostly his face, and he couldn't help the pathetic, yearning part of him that almost thought Gon might be selfish in a way that made both of them happy, for once. Gon's lips curved into a pout, "I don't want you to leave."

I don't want you to leave. I don't want you to leave. Killua could feel his fingers twitch, could see Gon's face and make out every little detail, from the tip of his nose to the lobes of his ears. He meant those words. Gon meant every syllable. Killua laughed, just a breath on his lips; of course that's what it was. What had he been thinking? Yeah, that's why Gon had been so weird since last night, staring at him, getting lost in thought, telling him you don't look like Killua. Because this was new to both of them, interest outside of each other, their Hunter ambitions, their adventures. Never had it occurred to either of them (until Gon started this by looking at someone who wasn't him, until his usually comforting smile had created something deep and green sprouting from his stomach the way a worm pokes its head out of dirt) that one day they'd reach for each other's hand and find it already taken. Killua nodded, lowered his head so Gon couldn't see his face beyond the bangs he'd gone and sprung from their confines.

"Gon, I won't leave." Not like that. Not the way Gon feared. Gon was losing him, yes, but not the way Gon cared about- the way they parted at the World Tree, didn't see each other for a year. Gon feared losing him the way Killua feared Alluka growing up and not needing him one day. It was a testament to how the distance of that year marked Gon, marked both of them like searing red branding irons. It almost made him smile. Definitely made his cheeks light up. Well, beggars couldn't be choosers, right? Gon didn't want him to leave. That was enough. (It should have been enough, but it hurt. Gon didn't see him that way and even now, at his very best, in the arms of somebody else, his intent was to hold as tight as possible to his hand, not his heart. How could he smile beyond that?). He set a hand at Gon's shoulder, brushed off the way he tensed under the touch and gave him the best we-are-okay smirk he could manage. Because he wasn't. Not yet. Gon's sweet amber eyes looked back at him, nose scrunched with this simple I don't understand pout. He chuckled. Oh, he loved him, "Yeah, you're gonna have to share, but you already do that with Alluka and Nanika, right? Just because I start seeing someone doesn't mean you'll stop being my best friend."

Because they'd never stop being best friends.

He'd always be there for Gon.

"This was always going to happen eventually, right? We're guys, so we were going to want this kind of thing sooner or later, anyway." Stop lying, his muscles ached with it wasn't supposed to be this way. Gon blinked, brows furrowing, and he retracted his hand. Shouldn't touch him. Not too much. Besides, he looked like he was lost to thought, and woe be him to keep Gon from using that brain of his every now and then. "If that's all you were worried about, I should get back." He chuckled and scratched at the back of his neck, cordial and friendly and okay. "I'm already gonna have to really make up for leaving her alone so long. Think she'll make me do something exciting? Haha! As if! Later, Gon." He turned back around, stuffed his hands in his pockets and held his breath, fist around his throat growing more rigid with each step.

It was stupid to be sad. He had a beautiful woman waiting for him. A beautiful woman he was growing increasingly sure he could handle, because he had a lot of steam to blow off, and pushing himself past his unknown limits sounded like the release he'd been craving.

It always breaks my heart to break Killua's heart like this, but I know Gon will always, always, always put it back together ❤

If you wanna find out how he does it two weeks early, the fourth and final chapter is up here at iamwhelmed on tumblr: post/666214770572165120/adolescence-x-greed-part-iii-rated-mature

I'm also doing a special Halloween event called Whelmed's Halloween Treat Fest! I'm taking requests for drabbles the rest of October to celebrate at iamwhelmed on tumblr: post/664493069496991744/whelmeds-halloween-treat-fest-spooky-season-is