A/N: Last chapter, Chuck started his campaign to convince Sarah that he cared for her. Two days so far. Now some more.

Thanks to those that took the time to leave reviews. I read them all and am pleased that many are enjoying this Sarah-focused story.

Pre-reading by JohnnyRayChandlett, once again, helping me see how to improve what I write, and even contributing to it, at times. Thank you so much, JRC.

Still beta free.

Disclaimer: I neither own, nor make money from Chuck.

Prove Yourself
Chapter 4 – More Proving?

The next day starts just like the previous two days. A knock on the door and her waking to find a note and, outside, a gift.

She picks up the note and opens the door. She steps out and looks both ways. He somehow always manages to get away before she does this. Tomorrow I'll be quicker, she tells herself.

She walks back into her room, after picking up the gift. Closing her door with her foot, she pads over to the desk and puts both items onto it.

Even though she's seen the gift, she still opens and reads the note first, holding it in her right hand.

How you make me feel
Soft and fuzzy

It's awfully corny, but it still makes her smile. Especially while holding the small, soft teddy bear in her other hand. A teddy bear, as a gift! It was so childish, but she actually likes it. It makes her happy. He certainly brings out the woman in me! It would be sweet to be soft and fuzzy and giddily in love.

Then she realizes what she's thinking. Me, soft and fuzzy? An assassin! CIA's finest! Never!

Thanks to her training and years of experience, she knows how to be hard and tough. She's certainly a woman with a hard exterior; that is all she has been for years. It was what her job needed and all she has ever really known. She certainly doesn't know how to be soft and fuzzy, never has been nor wanted to be like that, until Chuck made her yearn for it, before Prague.

She knows that the pain of that refusal has made her crawl back into her shell, that hard exterior on show, and she's now hiding there from further hurt. Blocking the feelings that he may be awakening again.

However, she is also feeling more pain, while holding this gift. Something else is making the pain increase. Her emotions once again stabbing her heart.

She throws the soft toy over into the corner of her room. Her jaw tightens. Her face hardens. She won't let emotions take over her thoughts. Her actions. She won't!

She storms over to the bathroom for a shower.

She is still angry when she picks him up. Her mood, which had plummeted to such depths when holding the teddy bear, has persisted. She knows she should thank him, but doesn't want to open her mouth, for fear of what she might say.

Rational thoughts are telling her, this isn't Chuck's fault, but he has triggered it, with this gift, so irrational thoughts blame him. She doesn't want more pain, so she finds herself thinking of the one she can't escape, focusing on that. Him.

His beaming smile is quickly gone when he sees her face. She says nothing and he gets into the car and stays silent. All the way to Castle.

As she pulls into the parking lot by the Orange, Orange, Sarah feels her tension reducing. If he had spoken, she would probably have lashed out at him. She knows this is all wrong. Why would I lash out at him?

All he'd done was buy her a soft toy. Just a soft toy! Why let that make her so angry? An anger she is struggling to control. Another example of my inability to control my emotions? Emotions that I have always suppressed?

Somewhere in her mind, there is a reason, but those memories are so deeply buried. Her mind doesn't want to let them out, so she keeps them buried. Ha! Like my emotions!

She shakes her head and gets out of the car and heads over to the Orange, Orange.

Chuck struggles to keep up. He stays silent. Sarah realizes she is radiating anger and he is sensing it. He thinks it is aimed at him, so he keeps quiet. Still not wanting to think about why it has upset her so much, she lets him think that, while a slight guilt starts to creep its way into her mind.

All this reminds her what a mess she really is. Full of confusion over how she feels, about him, with contradictory thoughts clashing, the sparks flying hurting her more. Now she seemed to be hurting him too, about something he hasn't done. What's wrong with me?

They change and repeat what they had been using two days earlier. Bo Staffs.

After an hour with him still holding back and her repeatedly swiping his legs away, Sarah is tiring of this. It is not achieving anything and she doesn't want to talk about it. To get him to understand why it is so important that he does train. And learn.

She had deliberately chosen the Bo Staffs. Somehow, Sarah feels more able to control her anger when using these. Probably because, if she didn't, they may not have an Intersect resource anymore.

As she has these thoughts, that guilt takes a hold of her. He's done nothing wrong. She shouldn't be treating him like she has.

She calls a halt to the session.

She speaks for the first time. "Chuck, I'm not in the right frame of mind to train you today. And you're not even trying. It's pointless continuing."

Chuck is only quiet for a few seconds. "I'm sorry, Sarah. I really can't fight you with these. Can't fight the woman…" He looks away. She's not sure what he was going to say, but she really isn't interested today.

She gets up and goes for a shower. When she comes out, she spots Chuck sitting cross-legged on the floor with his staff on his lap. She walks over to him and holds out her hand to help him up.

He looks up at her. "I'm sorry, Sarah."

She looks at him, not sure exactly what he is apologizing about. "Why?"

He swallows. "For whatever I have done that's upset you."

She notices the sad puppy eyes. The puppy fearing that he did wrong and awaiting his punishment?

Flashing through her mind is the thought that this is no way to rebuild a relationship. Rebuild? That relationship never really got a chance to start, more like build from scratch.

She's never been in a real relationship, but knows this is wrong; a relationship based on fear will inevitably fail. That's not what she wants. It would be her controlling him. The thought horrifies her. Professionally, she needs to protect him, so will sometimes have to command him to do things, but in a personal relationship, she would want to have a partner, an equal. More contradictions?

As her thoughts return to their situation now, she finds her heart softening and her expression must have too, because he doesn't look so pained as he watches her.

Huffing at herself. She drops to the floor in front of him. "I'm sorry too, Chuck. I don't know why I'm so upset."

Then she decides she has to be more open about this, help him understand her better. "Well, my subconscious mind probably does know, but won't let me know!" She huffs again. "I'm sorry I made you think it was you."

He holds her hand and she doesn't make any attempt to pull it away, suddenly feeling 'soft and fuzzy.' Oh, God!

He asks, quietly, "When did it start?"

She doesn't really want to talk about this, but he is asking in a way that makes her feel he wants to fix it. I've been a bitch and he wants to help me!

Her heart feels lighter, thinking about what he is doing. Then, the upset this morning starts to rise up again. Why can't my emotions come under my control again?

She groans, knowing this is going to sound ridiculous, but goes for it anyway. "When I held that stupid bear!" She lowers her head after saying that. I'm behaving just as stupid as I was thinking him, days ago! Was I wrong to think that way?

"Was it too childish?" he asks.

She looks at him, with a slight smile. "Maybe, but it did make me happy, Chuck, at least initially. However, being childish shouldn't make me mad!"

After a moment's contemplation, he asks, "Do you have bad memories of teddy bears?"

Sarah sits quietly for a few minutes. Thinking. Thinking about her childhood days.

She had filed childhood memories away in her brain, behind a wall labelled, "Keep out!" She tries never to look behind that wall, as it always hurts, but he's right to ask. She peeks behind the wall.

Did she have unhappy memories including a teddy? One springs out at her. Yes, I do.

Shaking slightly, she takes a deep breath. "The last time I saw my mom as a child, she'd gone to get my teddy and she never brought it to me." She sighs. "I always held him to help get to sleep. I had difficulty for years, after that."

"Why didn't you go back to get it?" He softly asks, while rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb.

She looks down. "Dad refused to go back to Mom's, after we left."

"So, your dad took you away from both your mom and your teddy?" he summarizes.

She has a wry smile on her face, as she looks up and says, "Sounds stupid, doesn't it?"

"Not at all. Very traumatic for a young girl, I'm sure."

She nods, feeling touched at how sensitive he can be.

"So, your anger was at your dad. Not me?" he questions.

He's right about her dad, of course.

He has made her analyze her feelings, but, more than that, look into her bitter past, seeking answers, something she never does. However, he's done it in a supportive way. He IS helping me, after I took out my anger at him. I really am a bitch!

She nods and sheepishly says, "As I said before, it was never about you, Chuck. I'm sorry about how I behaved today."

Chuck then asked something unexpected, "So, are you still angry at your dad?"

Oh, yes, I am so angry with my dad!

She can't tell him this. She shouldn't have told him as much as she has. She was trained to suppress emotions and past memories. On top of that, with the way her already swirling emotions were coping, or not, at the moment, she can't let anymore turbulence in, right now.

She just says, "Maybe. I can't think about that right now, Chuck. Please can we not talk about it?"

Chuck gets up and pulls her up with him. "Well, I'm sorry I brought those memories back, Sarah."

She gives him an apologetic look. "You didn't know."

"No. I didn't, but I do now." He grins at her. "Filed in my Sarah Walker Knowledge Bank."

That surprises her. "Your what?"

He taps his head. "The place where I store everything I know about you, Sarah."

She snorts. "Can't be much in there, Chuck!"

He drops his grin and looks at her seriously. "No. There isn't, but it's growing."

So, he's filing away anything he finds out about me!

She frowns at him and says, "That's a bit creepy, Chuck."

"I know you don't want to tell me about your past, Sarah, so I have to capture the scraps of information I hear or can deduce."

"Well, it's still creepy." She looks at him and knows that's not her real feelings about this.

Not really sure why, she places a hand on his arm. "It's also sweet."

"Sweet?"

"That you want to know me that much."

"You know I do, Sarah. If I could, I'd know everything about you. I…" He stops himself and looks away, his cheeks reddening. Seeing that, she thinks knows what he was going to say. Love?

Her heart quivers. Her pulse rate increases. Her hands start to sweat. All of a sudden, she's starting to panic. Sarah Walker, the Agent, and Sarah Walker, the Woman, are colliding. She doesn't know how to handle it, while being around him. There's only one way to escape that. She hopes she doesn't hurt or confuse him, but she has to be alone now.

She grips his wrist. "I'm sorry. I need to go. I'll see you in the morning."

She swiftly rushes out.

She drives fast, as always, and rushes into the hotel.

Her heartbeat is still incredibly high when she gets back to her room.

As she stares at her ceiling that night, she can't believe her behavior in the morning. Without hesitation, she sends Chuck a text message.

Sorry I freaked out this morning

Almost immediately, she gets one back.

NP. Sorry I brought back those memories

She smiles and replies.

Not your fault

Another fast response.

Noted

She laughs out loud at that. His "Sarah Walker Knowledge Bank". She replies.

SWKB?

His response, equally short.

Yup

Then another, longer one, follows.

Database accessed, text autocorrected, indexed for quick retrieval.
Safely stored in database

That makes her laugh. Chuck in 'Nerd mode' again! She quickly types a response.

Nerd!

His response, as before.

Yup

This feels good. They are talking. His way. She can see how this can become addictive. She sends one more message.

Nite, Chuck

And one last text comes back for the night.

Nite, Sarah x

That 'x' has surprising power, for a single letter!

She can't think about that now, so she puts down her phone. She grabs the teddy, which she's called Dog, just like her first, and then rolls over to go to sleep. She drifts off, hugging Dog.

The next morning, Sarah wakes still hugging the soft toy. She can't deny that it was a great gift. It makes sleeping on her own easier, if last night is anything to go by.

As she lies there, still snuggling the bear, she thinks she really does need to apologize to Chuck more than she already has. He made another great choice. It wasn't his fault that it brought back unpleasant memories.

She holds the bear up and looks at it. She smiles. Yes, I do love this little one. I will treat him well. And try to do the same with the guy who gave him to me.

Then there's the daily knock on the door. Damn!

She leaps out of bed and rushes to the door. Stepping over the note she pulls open the door and rushes outside. She's too late again. He's got away. Damn it!

Tomorrow, she'll catch him!

She hasn't looked down to see the gift, and ignores it as she walks back into her room. She closes the door and picks up the folded paper and takes it to her bed.

Sitting on the bed, she opens the note.

Bears like honey
Goes well with toast or cereal, Honey

She gasps. Honey? He calls me Honey?

Then she thinks a bit more. He's not trying to get intimate; he's just playing with words. Right?

She walks to the door and, yes, there's a jar of honey on the floor.

Breakfast for her is usually cereal with yogurt. And now honey too. He's right, it is great. She smiles. Not something she will have often; all that carbohydrate is not something she wants each day, but as a treat, she likes it.

Just as I like him. A treat. Something I shouldn't have, but have a craving for.

She shakes her head to banish such thoughts, but it doesn't really work.

As he gets into the car, smiling at her, tentatively, just like all other days, she smiles back, but then is tempted to tease him. "Honey?"

He nods. "I thought you'd find it amusing, Sarah."

She raises a brow and looks at him with no other expression. "Calling me 'Honey'?"

He immediately looks flustered. "I -I- d -didn't mean anything… "

She grins at him. "I know you didn't, Chuck. I'm just teasing you." Then lowering her chin, she looks up at him through her eyelashes. "Honey."

He gulps and she bursts out laughing.

She sets off for the park.

"Running again today, Honey." She grins again, looking over at a Chuck who obviously can't decide if he should be embarrassed or hopeful.

He is definitely getting better at running. Running for longer today, before tiring. He's still slow, and they'll have to work at that, but his endurance is improving. After only two days of running. Of course, the exercise on the alternate days will also be helping.

Thinking about the speed problem, she is sure that once he is fitter, he will be able to run faster too. Those long legs should eat up the miles, after all.

They run, without break, for fifty minutes. Then, seeing what they are approaching, she asks, "Ice cream, again?"

He puffs before answering, "Sure."

They stop and she says, "My turn to pay."

He starts to protest and she turns to face him. She glares, although she isn't really angry. "You're not going to act like only the man can pay, are you?"

"N-n-no!"

She grins at him. "Good. Go and sit down. What flavor?"

"I'll have the same as you, Sarah."

"Okay."

They are just finishing their Rocky Road ice creams, when Chuck starts talking. "I just want to do things for you, Sarah. It may sound stupid or lame, but I want to make up for… what I did."

She feels sorry that she made the comment about paying. "I know you do, Chuck. I'm sorry I said that, even in jest. I know you're not like that." She then smiles. "Besides, on our last run you would've made me pay, if you'd beaten me to the car."

She then looks at him with a straight expression. "However, I don't want you to buy me things. It won't affect how I feel about you." Then she thinks about how that sounds and says more, "I do really like the gifts that go with the notes each morning, Chuck, but you really shouldn't be spending that money. I don't want you thinking you have to buy my affection."

He smiles. "I like giving them to you, Sarah. I like it when they make you smile."

She smirks. "I've obviously become a very materialistic girl, haven't i?"

That makes him chuckle.

She stands, grabs his hand and pulls him up. "Come on. Another half hour, then back to Castle for showers."

As always, he groans, but doesn't hold back.

The ceiling makes no comment. The soft toy in her hands, on top of her body, as she lies on the bed, says nothing either. The chattering in her head would have drowned them out, even if they had.

Half of her is saying to just go with it, connect with this wonderful man, become lovers even. It's what she's wanted for years, isn't it? Now he's no longer an asset, no one will object. Yes, they'd have to register it, but then it would be real.

The other half is arguing that it is wrong. She shouldn't try to change their relationship. Keep it purely professional. Last time she tried, she got hurt. Badly. He rejected her. She couldn't go through that again.

On top of all that, she is also starting to think that she doesn't want him to feel hurt either. He had failed at Prague, and it was his fault, but maybe he was suffering too.

The argument in her head has been going for a while now. The positive half is starting to win. Hell, is he starting to win me over again?

She knows she can't start thinking like that. However, she does think they are on good terms again, and that he mentions the hurt himself now, visibly regretting it.

And… I'm now getting those soft and fuzzy feelings!

As with previous nights, she drifts off thinking about him.

A/N: So that's days three and four of Chuck's campaign to "win Sarah back". A bit of a bumpy ride at times, but I think they're getting there. More to come, obviously.

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