Wednesday, June 10

11:30am

Gai

Someone kicks his foot, bringing Gai's mind back from the blank nothingness it's been living in most of the day. He takes out the earbuds and opens his eyes. The sun sits lower in the sky than the last time he looked up, and Gai has to squint to make out it's Cam standing over him.

"Mike had to go inside and help his mom. You want to shoot?"

Gai shakes his head, dismissing Cam and the basketball extended toward him.

"Man, what is with you lately?"

"Nothing. Why?"

Cam backs up to toss the ball, missing the basket by a good foot, but runs ahead and catches it. He walks back to shoot another, making it this time. "I dunno. You're, like, totally quiet."

"Nothing to say."

They both look up the street at the sound of a car approaching, slowing to a stop when it gets in front of Mike's.

Zach, Cameron's brother leans out the window. "Cam."

Cam shoots the ball again, makes it. "What's up?"

"Dad just got up. He's pissed you didn't clean up the back yard."

"Shit. I hate it when he works me a ride?"

"Get your own ass home. I'm not going back until he leaves for work."

"Jerk." Cam shoots again, misses, and runs down the street after the ball.

It takes a minute for Gai to realize Zach hasn't pulled away but is instead watching him, his head cocked to the side. Cam's alright, but Zach's got that weird energy. You never know if he's going to be cool or be an asshole, so it's usually better to stay quiet and avoid eye contact. Today Gai stares back. "What?"

"Just wondering if Steph's popped your cherry yet."

"Fuck you."

A slow grin spreads across Zach's face. "Wow, look whose balls dropped. Why don't you come say that to my face?"

Cam comes back dribbling the ball. "Leave him alone, Zach."

Zach ignores him, still glaring at Gai, and they're both quiet as Gai gets up and walks over to Zach's car. The numbness that's been with him the past two days gives him a severe detachment from his usual wariness of Cam's brother.. He stoops down so his face is only inches from Zach's, close enough to see the smattering of blackheads across his nose. "Fuck. You."

It happens so fast Gai doesn't realize Zach's reached for him until he's already got both hands twisted in Gai's shirt and is pulling him up to the driver's side window. He knows the beat-down is coming and welcomes it. Feels every part of his body straining toward Zach, daring him to do it.

Instead, after staring him down for a good thirty seconds, Zach throws his head back and laughs. He sets Gai on his feet and even reaches a hand out to brush down Gai's chest, smoothing out the tshirt and sweater. "Wow, not even a flinch. Just for that, little man, I'm going to let it slide. This time."

"Don't do me any favors."

Zach's eyes narrow. "And now you owe me one." He drapes a wrist over the steering wheel and gives Gai a slow, dangerous grin before driving away.

"Holy shit, Gai." Cam says, shaking his head. "Nobody stands up to Zach like that."

"You do."

"Not like that. I value my life."

Gai rolls his eyes. "He's not going to kill me."

"No, you'll just wish you were dead. You better watch your back, man."

Last week the whole thing would have had Gai shaking. Now it's a part of some misty dream. He takes the ball from Cam and aims it at the basket, catching it on the way down when it goes in.

Mike comes back out and Cam reenacts the scene between Gai and Zach, embellishing it the longer he goes on. That constricting feeling comes back to Gai's chest and the pictures of dad, always in his head now, surface in greater detail. In defense Gai puts the earbuds back in and cranks up the death metal he's been listening to all day. He sits down with his back against a fence post and lets the music take over his brain.

12:00pm

Logan

It's a mile walk to the strip-mall taqueria he wants to try. The place lives up to its Yelp reviews, and Logan tips generously, knowing they'll remember when he comes back. He dawdles on the walk back after lunch, sipping his soda and seeing what else is offered on this side of his neighborhood.

Not much, it turns out. A small market with ingredients he has no clue how to combine. A vape shop, used record store, and a gym. Logan wanders into the latter, missing the weight equipment he enjoyed on the ship.

The place is small and well planned. They set equipment up for circuit training, though few are using it that way. In it he sees all the machines and weights he'd want, plus a few more.

This time of the day the clientele is chubby housewives and the silver set, including a group of old men doing more talking than lifting. Their laughter says camaraderie is the point of the gathering, not fitness.

"Are you interested in a trial membership," a chirpy young blond asks him. The boy is all cherub-round cheeks and white-blond curls, possibly eighteen but, if so, only by a day at most..

"Might be," Logan says. He gives half an ear to the explanation of waivers, membership tiers, and hours. When the cherub pushes forms under his nose, he signs them all. The kid doesn't flinch in recognition of the Echolls name.

Given he's dressed in a pair of loose-fitting track pants, t-shirt, and running shoes, Logan starts his trial right then. Normally he'd pick a body part to focus on for the workout, except it's been weeks so does a little of everything. He picks a machine and adjusts the seat, starting the weights low and doing a few sets to warm up before moving the peg to a much heavier setting. Chest press, pec deck, then onto his abs, lats, and biceps. After each set he feels looser, stronger, and more relaxed.

He's just moving the peg for a heavier set of leg presses when a thirty-something brunette comes up to him. Her body is trim and fit, shown to its advantage in a pair of neon pink short shorts and halter top. Something about the way she looks him over is predatory. "Hey, you're new here."

It's not a question. "I am."

"Makenna," she says, ripping off her weight-lifting glove and holding out a hand.

"Logan."

They shake, and he waits out an awkward silence. "Sorry," she laughs, shaking her head. "I'm the owner. I try to meet all the members."

"Trial member."

"Ah." She tilts her head. "We'll have to see what we can do to change that. Come find me after your workout."

She backs up before turning to walk away, throwing one more smile over her shoulder when she sees him watching.

He's not the only one. The old men holding down the weight benches have their eyes glued to her ass. Across from him, a forty-something mom holding a book and lifting five pounds of hand weights is also watching. She turns to him and shakes her head, mouthing "Barracuda".

Intuition born of growing up a celebrity's kid says she's right. If Makenna hasn't googled him yet, she will before the end of the day, and he's left all his personal information at the desk to use to her advantage.

Logan sits there a minute instead of resuming his workout. When he sees Makenna go into the back office, he approaches the desk and the cherub sitting there.

"How'd it go?"

"Did you put my paperwork in the system yet?"

"No?" The cherub picks it up from the desk. "Priscila does that, and she's not in until 3."

"Thanks." Logan grabs the papers and walks out, ignoring the dramatic gasp of the cherub behind him.

6pm

Gai

"Pizza," Mom says as he walks in the door. "Sorry, kiddo. I didn't have time to make something more fancy."

Everything inside him is cold and quiet. Gai busies himself feeding Keller while Mom pulls down the plates. "It's fine."

"How was your day?"

"Fine."

"What did you do?"

Gai gets up and pours himself a glass of milk, more for routine than because he wants it. "Nothing."

"Not even—,"

"Nothing I haven't done a thousand times before." He takes a drink of his milk as he sits down. "What did you do?"

There it is, subtly shifting her eyes away and busying herself, picking toppings off the pizza and eating them one-by-one, rather than lie right to his face. "Nothing I haven't done a thousand times before. Looked into a lead."

"Did it pan out?"

For just a second, her eyes meet his dead-on. "Not yet, but it will."

They eat in silence for a bit before she puts down her pizza and brushes the cornmeal from the crust off her hands. "We haven't had a chance to talk about Monday. Why did you go to Cam's?"

Her pathetic need to assert herself bores him. He rattles her instead. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Gai, we had a deal—, "

"Me first."

"We're circling back."

"Fine. Remember when you asked if I wanted you to quit your job?"

She takes a long sip of her soda before setting it down. "That was a hypothetical question. I was making a point."

"Yeah, well, I decided I do. I want you to quit your job."

"Gai," Mom cocks her head, "that's not really your decision to make. You get that right? Parent," she points at herself, then him. "Child."

He copies her, points at himself and says, "Half an orphan," then her, "remaining parent. Get a job that doesn't need a gun."

When her head snaps back in recoil, he can only think yahtzee. Mom leans forward, reaching for his hand on the table. "Gai —,"

He pulls his hand out of her reach. "Nevermind."

"Hey, let's talk about it."

"Obviously there's nothing to talk about. Do what you want."

Maybe because he says it with no anger or challenge, she doesn't yell at him. "Look, I'll think about it, okay? Let me just get through this case—,"

"Why? Can't someone else handle it?"

"No."

"Why not?"

Tell me, he wants to say. If she's honest with him, he can be honest with her and talk about the things he saw. A flash of need runs through him, gone as quickly as it comes, to climb in her lap like when he was little and have her kiss the bad dream away. Tell me.

For one second, he thinks she'll say it, that it's not his imagination. Her eyes fill before she looks away and grabs their plates, though neither of them have really eaten. She stands with her back to him, palms on the edge of the sink before she answers. "You know I can't talk about an active investigation."

"Right." Gai waits a minute, disappointed but not surprised. He expects the 'circle back' part of the conversation as a way to change the subject, almost more disappointed when it doesn't come. He stands up and pockets his phone. "I'm going over to Cam's. Steph's waiting for me."

Her back stays to him as she cleans plates. "Let me know if you go anywhere else and back by nine."

"Yeah." He waits a minute longer to see if she'll turn around. When she doesn't, he slips away, out the front door.

Gai looks both ways on the street before ducking behind the bushes next to Cam's house. Steph is already there, sitting cross-legged, her back to him. She glances over her shoulder; her smile is big and bright. "Hey, Shaggy Boy."

It's all been too much. Everything caves in on him, from the autopsy pictures of Dad to the conversation he had with his mom. He hasn't seen Steph in days and only now realizes how badly he needed to. Gai sinks down behind her, sprawling his legs on both sides of hers and wraps his arms around her waist. He lays his cheek on her back and just holds her, willing all the emotions that want to rise to stay down.

"Gai?" she asks, concerned. And no wonder. Up to now everything's been so careful with them, even holding hands.

He shakes his head, unable to answer. As if she understands, Steph reaches back a hand to twine into his hair while the other pats his hands clasped around her waist. It's minutes before Gai realizes they're rocking and she's soothing him. "Shh, shh, it's okay. It's okay."

It's only when he lifts his head and sees her wet shoulder that Gai realizes he was crying. His chuckle is part embarrassment and part thanks. Steph leans to the side so she can turn enough to look at him.

The whole time talking to his mom, Gai wanted to be seen. It's only now, with Steph, that he finally has that feeling. Steph's smile is so sweet, and tender, and all for him. As is the small kiss she lays on his lips.

Something new rises inside him, a need and sureness he couldn't summon if he'd ever tried. Gai leans in and turns that small kiss into something else, into a magic that chases all the bad thoughts and images of the day out of his head. It's as if the world narrows down to the little space in the bushes and the connection flowing between the two of them.

Long before Gai's ready, Steph pulls back and rests her forehead against his. "Wow."

He laughs, still soaring. The whole thing was awkward and weird and a little messy, but awesome. "Yeah."

"I never—,"

"Me either"

"What is going on with you?"

The question, even asked with that lilt in her voice, brings him back down. "Nothing. Just got into it with my mom. No big deal."

Steph turns around so she's facing him, still cross-legged with her bent knees resting on his sprawled ones. "What happened?"

"Nothing."

Her thumb runs under his eye and comes away wet, which Steph shows him. Heat climbs Gai's neck. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Why not?"

"Because, it's whatever."

A vertical line appears between Steph's eyebrows when she frowns. "'Whatever' usually means people don't care."

"It's," he pauses, thinking. "I meant it's not worth talking about because whatever I say to her, it doesn't change anything."

"What do you want to change?"

"It doesn't matter. Can we just forget about it?"

"How can you just do that? Forget about it?"

"Um," Gai rests a hand on each of her knees and leans forward until he's right by her ear, and lowers his voice to a whisper. "I might need to kiss you again."

A shudder runs through Steph, surprising them both. He pulls back, and this time it's her that's blushing.

"What was that?"

"Shut up," she says, grabbing the sides of his face with both hands and pulling him toward her. "I don't want to talk about it."

9:00pm

Veronica

Daniel Reitman.

Veronica studies the page from the MSDS binder. It had been far too easy-there was only one redheaded Daniel in Weston's sophomore yearbook, a class behind her. Compare the picture to the people she hadn't yet identified from Weston's drawings. If the red hair weren't distinctive enough, the faint cleft palate scar from a childhood surgery removes all doubt.

It took most of her time connecting Daniel Reitman to Jennifer Weston. It was only through a ten-year-old traffic ticket she matched Daniel's mom to an address three doors down from the Weston's condo. It seemed while the mom took up residence with a boyfriend when Daniel was five; she didn't bother giving up her PO Box or updating her driver's license until a year later, when she became employed at a Carl's Jr. in St. Louis and, soon after, died of an overdose.

A subscription to National Geographic Kids magazine, sent to the boyfriend's address and started when Daniel was eight, two years after his mom left, leads her to believe Daniel stayed with the boyfriend until his freshman year, Jennifer's sophomore year, when Mom's boyfriend was arrested for possession with intent.

That's it. Daniel doesn't show up in the next three yearbooks and, since they seal records for juveniles tight, Veronica doesn't know what happened to him. The father's name on his birth certificate is blank, the mom had no other living relatives, and the boyfriend only had his brother, who's doing life for first degree murder.

She glances at the time before dialing but it's only nine, not too late. While the other line rings, Veronica writes Daniel's name and uses it to doodle, connecting the printed letters by leafy vines.

Five rings in, she's almost given up when someone picks up the phone at the other end. "Mrs. Weston? Hi, it's Veronica Mars-Zare. I'm sorry if I woke you."

A long pause on the other end makes her think the woman has fallen back asleep. Veronica's about to hang up when Abigail speaks. "I was awake."

"I have some questions about Daniel Reitman."

The sound of ice moving around in a glass stills at the name. Her voice is hard, disinterested. "We agreed you wouldn't contact me again."

"I know, I'm sorry. I'm looking into your daughter's friends and Danny—,"

"That boy," the word is practically spat out and, when Abigail loses the formality she seems to hold around herself like armor and her words have the edge of a slur, Veronica realizes she is dealing with someone very, very drunk. "Is not my daughter's friend. He ruined her life."

Yahtzee

"Does that mean—,"

"Ruined. Every plan we," her voice trails off and a hefty sob comes through the phone, so loud Veronica has to pull the phone away from her ear. She cries harder each time Veronica says her name and, having been here before with her own drunk mother, Veronica hangs up the phone.

Someone answers her next call with a casual, "Yo," and loud music in the background.

"Hi, I'm trying to reach Gayle Haile?"

"Ma! Your phone!"

"Who is it?"

"Dunno."

Gayle's voice gets closer. "Did you ask?"

"Talking on the phone is for old people."

"Then why did you answer it?"

"Because you still don't know how to work your voicemail."

The kid laughs, his voice moving away, "You missed me."

Gayle answers the phone, her exhale sounding as much exasperated as amused. "Hello?'

"Hi, Gayle, this is Veronica Mars-Zare. We spoke recently?"

"Oh, yes, Veronica, how are you?" Gayle's voice is muffled as she speaks to someone else. "Take the popcorn. I'll be there in a minute."

"Sorry to bother you at home but I was hoping to ask you a question about another student. Daniel Reitman?"

"Mmm, no. Doesn't sound familiar."

"Red hair, scar on his lip, he was a year behind Jennifer."

"Nope, sorry. If he did go to the school, I never had him."

A chorus of voices in the background of Gayle's phone chant, "Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom."

"Veronica, I'm sorry, my family is waiting for me to watch a movie. I wrote down his name. If I think of anything I'll call you."

"Thanks, I'd appreciate that."

Daniel Reitman. Veronica traces the name in ink, filling in the ivy leaves she's drawn. It's getting late, but she's too keyed up to sleep. The thought of a nighttime run sounds appealing—something she hasn't done since Sam was there to oversee Gai while she went out.

Speaking of Gai, she glances at the clock. 9:30. Irritation and concern war within her as she goes to check the house, the backyard, and the front porch. Nothing. Her calls go unanswered as well, and her texts to Mike and Fish come back that they haven't seen him.

She leashes up Keller, puts on her running shoes, and makes the quick jog to Cam's house. Veronica can hear the blare of a TV—some Dog the Bounty Hunter show.

Though the door is open, no one responds to her knock on the screen. It's only when she rings the doorbell that Cam's mom realizes she's there. Of course, Twila doesn't bother turning down the TV, just yells over it as she walks to the door. "Yeah?"

Each time they meet, the woman reminds Veronica of the Fruit-of-the-Loom apple guy. The trunk of her body is completely round, with meaty arms and spindly legs. Year-round she wears shorts and sleeveless shirts, showing skin pink as a Jonagold. Her head is also round, with her long, straight brown hair pulled tight into a low-maintenance ponytail and looking like a bent stem.

"Hi, Twila. I'm looking for Gai. Have you seen him around?"

Twila opens the door and waves a hand in irritation. "Those boys. They're around here somewhere."

"What about Steph? Gai was —,"

"Mom?" Gai says behind her. "I'm here."

"Thanks, Twila." Veronica steps back, the screen door banging into place behind her. Twila's gone back to her couch before Veronica's even off the porch. "Gai, you were supposed to be home at nine."

"I'm going now."

No whining, no apology, just a matter-of-fact statement, like it's no big deal. "And you're supposed to answer your phone when I call."

He shrugs, nonchalant, but even under the streetlight his eyes seem to challenge her. "Missed it."

"Where were you?"

"Hanging with Steph."

"Where?"

"Just around."

"Gai—,"

He turns around to walk home. "Let's go."

Veronica catches him by the arm, Keller at her heels. "You're grounded tomorrow."

"Tomorrow."

"Yes."

"Fine. Whatever."

The word sets off a bloom of anger in her stomach that heats her entire body. Veronica lets go of his arm so she doesn't dig her nails in. "Go straight home, text me when you get there. I'm taking Keller for a run. If I find out you went anywhere else, or anyone came over, you can forget about having any fun this summer. Tread lightly kid, because you are on thin ice, got it?"

If she thought she was mad already, it's nothing compared to the mocking salute he gives her before turning to walk up the street to their house. Gai's always been a good kid, if a bit emotional, but he's never been contemptuous. Everything in her wants to chase after him and have it out, which is why she decides the better course is to run and spend some energy before they get into it.

Still young, Keller has no problem keeping pace. Veronica keeps an eye out for hazards and the dog stays close to her side, not running out to lead as a sighted dog might. Her loop takes her five miles, and they're both panting by the time they reach the house. Keller heads straight for her water bowl while Veronica stands at the sink and gulps a glass and a half herself.

Gai's door is closed and, when she pokes her head in, he's sprawled out on the bed, headphones on and his mouth slack in sleep. No matter, they'll talk tomorrow night—except, shit, he's at Lois and Giv's tomorrow. Which means she grounded him for a day he's not even home.

Veronica pulls the sheet over him and places the headphones aside before kissing his forehead. "Nice loophole, kid."

Her body is still awake, the run not having given her anywhere near the release she needs to let go of the emotions of the day. A hot shower doesn't help. If Sam were here, she'd lock their bedroom door and make it clear it was a night to give her the lead.

The want of her body is an extension of everything else she needs. Veronica turns Sam's pillow sideways on its side and loops a leg over it, willing her brain for one second to believe she's not alone. It seems to work as, three minutes later she's slipped into a sleep so deep she doesn't even hear the scuffling sounds on the wall as Gai drops to the ground from his bedroom window.

AN: Belatedly realizing I should include a note with the song source for the chapter title. (We'll see if I get ambitious enough to go backwards). Song is Phoebe Bridgers - Motion Sickness