SHIBARI: Bound
A/N: Season 2 came early! This is a fluke. Don't expect special treatment in the future. ;)
Chapter Warnings: Death, Language, Mild Violence
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
Music:
'(8.1) All Is Not Lost – Tony Anderson
'(8.2) Tony Anderson - Dwell (Snowfall Remix)
'(8.3) Adi Goldstein – Guide My Way
Note: See YouTube playlist link on my profile page
Chapter 8
Ghosts
'(8.1) All Is Not Lost – Tony Anderson
5 Years Ago – End of the 4th Shinobi War
The silence was deafening.
Only the sound of his slow and heavy breathing chased away the quiet that he so loathed.
Blood.
Viscous and warm.
It painted his hands crimson.
First Itachi's blood and now Naruto's…
Even after he washed them clean in the cool waters of a slow-moving creek, he could still see the image of the sticky substance coating his pale fingers. Sasuke's obsidian-colored eyes closed, hoping to shut out the disturbing scenes that plagued him.
It never helped.
The guilt of their deaths weighed heavily on his tired, aching soul.
I'm truly alone…
.
.
.
~4-5 Years Ago (Winter – Summer 1 AN) – Somewhere far from the Land of Fire
Time stretched into unknown lengths. Days blending into each other in an endless loop.
He became a passenger in his own body. Numbly watching himself, aimlessly wander across countless foreign lands.
From the frozen tundra, lands that never saw the light of day, to mercilessly scorching windy desserts and forests so hot and humid, staying dry was an impossible task.
One foot in front of the other. Marching towards some unspecified destination. It was all he could do to not lose himself completely in the darkness that threatened to swallow him whole.
His baser instincts were in control now. He was simply surviving. Breathing.
Nothing I do matters…
There was no response to his ruminations. Only silence.
.
.
.
Malnourished and delirious, he was ambushed.
It woke him from his stupor.
Even in his condition, he forced them to their knees with little exertion. Their pleading fell on deaf ears. As he readied to dispatch their putrid existence, something in their sniveling caught his interest. The rogue faction they targeted was inspired by his own attack on the Five Kage Summit.
It was personal.
What a fucking joke.
By the blade of Kusanagi he would make them regret associating his name with their misguided ideals.
At the very least, it gave him something to do.
It had taken months of searching, but it all culminated over the course of a few hours.
On this particular night, death had come swiftly and ruthlessly.
The bodies piled so high, the frigid breeze could not lift the stench of copper and sweat.
Standing in the middle of the foray, these souls took their last breath that night as they met the angel of death himself.
He left no survivors.
.
.
.
Lying on his back with a detached sense of calm, he felt a gentle movement at his side that caused the bed to bounce and creak.
A slender arm casually reached towards his chest. The Uchiha snatched the hovering wrist mid-air. With a terse indifference, he stated, "It's time for you to go."
There was a taut stillness between the two strangers for a moment while he impatiently waited for compliance.
For the first time since he left the small diner earlier that evening, his eyes shifted to the young woman's face with a callous stare.
She awkwardly slid off the mattress and got to her feet.
He stared blankly through half-lidded eyes at the lithe brunette, whose bare silhouette was outlined by the streetlight that peeked into the small room from around heavy curtains.
She was one of many waitresses willing to serve him in more than one way. The Uchiha couldn't recall her name. He wasn't sure if they had exchanged anything more than the pleasure his cock gave.
Not even bodily fluids.
Kissing was strictly off the table. The thought alone made his lip curl slightly in disgust.
Just another high to numb the pain.
The young woman, now dressed, hesitantly inquired, "Will I see you again?"
He was cold in his response. "No."
The hurt look on her face had no effect on him. Hardly anything did anymore.
She gave him a sad nod as his eyes turned up to the ceiling. "Thank you for a nice evening, Kato. I hope you find what you're looking for." The door closed behind her with a resounding click.
It was silent again.
.
.
.
I wonder what you would think of me now, Mother…
Staring into the inky depths of the heavens littered with flickering stars that held no light next to the full moon, Sasuke rested on the cool soft grass with his hands behind his head. Something in the night sky called to him.
Thoughts of his past actions swirled in his mind like a record set to replay the same song- never moving to the next track.
He killed his brother out of misinformed revenge. Something he would regret to the end of his days.
Then his best friend, his only true friend, perished because his change of heart and subsequent arrival occurred a little too late.
It's all my fault.
A gloved hand clutched uncomfortably at his chest where it compressed with so much shame, he thought his heart may stop beating.
This was so much worse than the clan massacre.
Now… there was truly nothing left.
No actual family. No genuine friends. No goals.
Just loneliness and time.
On sleepless nights such as this, when he couldn't face the terrors that awaited him behind closed lids, he pondered on death. Hoping that maybe when he finally closed his eyes for eventual slumber, by some miracle it would be the last time.
Death, give me peace…
Only the hush of the wind blowing through the surrounding woods answered him.
.
.
.
~3 Years Ago (Spring 2 AN) – Somewhere far from the Land of Fire
Sasuke found himself in a land lush with sprawling green hills under a bright azure sky. Bucolic farms were scattered across the territory as far as the eye could see. Blossoming Sakura trees dotted the landscape along rudimentary streets and walkways with their blushing pink flowers.
Resting under the shade of one particularly large tree perched on a grassy knoll, he leaned his back against the darkly colored bark with one leg stretched out and the other pulled towards him to prop up an elbow.
The months passed in a gruesome haze, mostly spent eliminating the world of human filth.
There were other days where, as a vagabond, he'd accept any job he could find to earn a small coin. Providing manual labor to the elderly and anyone who wouldn't ask too many questions in exchange for whatever they could offer.
Boarding, food, money, even clothing or other tradable goods.
There were times he would clean manure out of horse and pig stalls. Sometimes it was hunting the local predators of livestock. Other times he was the human equivalent to beasts of burden.
It was menial.
It was debasing.
It was better than he deserved.
After a long morning of back-breaking work in a nearby village, he took respite in the solitude and the breeze that made the tall grass dance and the leaves on trees giggle.
The words the waitress had spoken to him that night rose to the forefront of his mind and gave him pause.
What am I looking for?
Lazily his eyes wandered to the small flowers sitting delicately along broad reaching branches. They reminded him of someone.
Did you forget about Sakura, Bastard?
What. The. Hell.
The voice was so jarring his body sat up with intense alertness and his eyes scanned the area to be sure he was truly alone.
Foolish Little Brother. When I told you to live a loathsome life to grow stronger, this is not what I intended.
He didn't have to respond to that. It was the lack of sleep causing a figment of his imagination. Instead, he went back to trying to glean the mystery of the cherry blossoms. Suddenly, the name his hallucination spoke clicked in his mind.
Sakura…
Heh. 'Tachi, I think he's ignoring us. HEY! What's the matter? Are you hurt, scaredy cat?
This time he did respond, in his mind at least. Shut up, Idiot!
Sakura is the little girl with long pink hair and red bows you would ask me about when you were young. Isn't that right, Ototo?
The young man sighed, relaxing again into the base of the tree and leaning his head back with closed eyes. Accepting his delirium.
That was a long time ago, Aniki… I am not that child anymore. When you left and massacred our clan, you made sure of it. My heart may be beating, but make no mistake, that little boy is dead.
I'm sorry, Sasuke. I never wanted this for you.
Sakura is one of my important people, 'ya know? I mean, why are you even here? Did you forget about your promise to look after the Leaf Village for me?
He scoffed internally and a wry smile twisted his mouth. I never promised you anything, Naruto.
But Konoha needs you! Sakura needs you!
He felt his anger grow and he snapped. Fuck Konoha and fuck Sakura! I could care less about their needs. They never cared about what I wanted. It was always about what I could do for THEM! A weapon, a prize, a band-aid for bleeding insecurities, whatever. It's disgusting.
Bastard! Sakura really cares about you.
Don't you get it? It's not about her. I'm alone here because of you! You both left me... His anger slowly giving way to sorrow, and he couldn't finish his thought.
You don't have to be alone, Little Brother.
Silence.
Do you care for her?
Dark orbs opened and stared again at the tiny blossoms. He thought hard for a while. His mind at work to recall the animated kunoichi who insistently professed her love at every opportunity and tried to anchor him to Konoha. Carefully, he thought through his response. Sakura and Kakashi are in Konoha. They are the closest things I have now to family.
His eyes lowered as a sense of ashamed comprehension washed over him. I suppose I do care.
The stoic Uchiha smiled wryly. But what does it matter? I have no purpose. Not one for myself. Why should I serve a village that manipulates and betrays its people?
No purpose, you say. What about your goals, Sasuke? You accomplished one. Maybe it's time to focus on the other.
Haven't you wandered long enough? It's time, Ototo. Return to Konoha. Face judgment, repay your debts, then restore honor to our clan.
It's what our parents would have wanted. It's what I wanted.
Not this. Out here, you are truly alone…
The man sat in vexed contemplation without reposte. For the first time in a while, he was thankful for the returning quiet.
3 Years Ago (Early Summer 2 AN) – Land of Fire near Konoha
With a careful stride through the shadows of ancient green giants, Sasuke fought his urge to turn around as the large painted gates to his home village became visible. He stopped and stared at the massive thriving hub of military power that was once familiar and friendly but now only surfaced unwelcome feelings of resentment and anger.
Why do you stop, Ototo? Has the plan changed?
Dattebayo, we're home!
Be quiet! Both of you. WE are stopping by the memorial so I can pay my respects and we can finally part ways.
If I am going to rot in a cell for my crimes, I don't need illusions of my dead brother and friend there to punish me further.
Ignoring the protests and arguments of his psychological apparitions, he set his sights on ridding himself of his more vocal demons before resigning to the judgment of those who deceived him and some semblance of a life with Sakura.
3 Years Ago (Early Summer 2 AN) – Konoha Memorial Cemetery
It was early. So early that although the sun had started its ascent into the sky, its rays were not yet strong enough to dispel the thick morning fog that settled low on the land.
Deep in thought, Sasuke approached the section of the graveyard where heroes of the last war laid in eternal slumber. The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end as a hauntingly soft voice suddenly spoke in alarming proximity.
"Itachi…"
In an instant, he swooped to the nearest tree for cover and hid behind a genjutsu cloak before shifting to glance at the wretch who dared intrude on his plans.
Glaring into the fog, a lump stuck in his throat that he forced down with a hard swallow.
Dressed in a flowing white silk kimono stood a slender frame with long dark hair. The graceful female figure stooped to leave a single white lily at the base of the marker.
With unblinking eyes and a shaky voice, he reverently whispered in disbelief, "Mother?"
The ghostly figure in white turned towards the sound.
He flinched. Fearful of his mother's judgment, he added a genjutsu layer for sound proofing. When he saw the pupilless white eyes among delicate features, that confirmed it.
He was staring at his mother's ghost.
When veins formed along the specter's orbs, he blinked. Then he looked again. For as long as he could remember, his mother never cut her hair like that. The veins receded and the figure turned back around.
There's something familiar…
Hinata?
He startled from the unexpectedly loud voice in his head.
It appears you are acquainted with this dark-haired beauty, Little Brother.
I don't know her. Her eyes are creepy. He stared harder at the young woman and followed her movements, trying to recall her from his memories.
She drifted to the next grave marker and placed another lily, lighting incense and whispering a small prayer. He then noticed the lilies placed along two rows of visible headstones and the bundle she still carried with her.
She's… weird.
Weird? I like weird people. Ghost Naruto spoke in cheery spirits. Heh. Must be why I like you, Bastard!
Sasuke smirked in response but didn't say anything.
He sat down and made himself comfortable, resting his back against the rough bark of the tall cedar.
What are you doing, Ototo?
What does it look like? I'm going to wait for the weirdo to finish. Then, I'm going to leave you two here.
Foolish Little Brother, I don't think that's how this works.
Why not? You're not really Itachi, and you're not really Naruto. You're some hallucination created by the part of my brain that can't accept your deaths. So now, I'm going to officially let go. I just have to wait for this dumb girl to drop off all those dumb flowers and be on her way so I can get this over with.
With closed eyes and crossed arms, he nodded to himself. Proud of his deductive reasoning skills.
He gave a sideways glance at the forlorn inconvenience and felt his irritation grow.
So…
Fucking…
Slow…
With an inward groan he fought the urge to take a palm to his face in frustration. This was going to take forever.
Watching Hinata place flowers at every fallen warrior's resting place was like watching ice melt. It took so long that by the time she got to the last one, the fog had already lifted.
Finally!
Raising himself tall on the branch, he stretched. He was ready to drop off his two annoying mental commentators and move on.
His face dropped when she began talking- instead of leaving.
"Naruto…"
Good Kami! What now? Why me?
Hey, I'M Naruto! Hinata! Hinataaaaa!
Stop screaming, Idiot!
Sasuke rubbed a frustrated hand down over his eyes.
"I'm s-s…OUCH!"
The raven-haired Uchiha peeked curiously through his fingers as the strange girl began bouncing and shaking out her wrists before inhaling a lungful of hair that made her cheeks puff ridiculously. He could only see her profile, but even so, he could tell she looked like a red-faced chipmunk.
Now he knew for sure he's gone mad. The corners of his mouth twitched as he struggled against the urge to laugh at both her pain and stupidity.
When ghost Naruto fell into a fit of giggles, it became even more difficult to maintain full composure.
It really shouldn't have been that funny, but he was so tired, and it had been so long since he found anything amusing, that her discomfort was an effective approach. A small crack in the dam gave way to a tidal wave.
His bubbling, maniacal laughter quickly died on his tongue at her next words.
"It's my fault you died. I'm so sorry…" She spoke slowly, and deliberately. Her words full of remorse.
A range of emotions washed over him. Fury being the headiest.
Why would she say that?
"I tried to save you… and I… failed…" The last word trailed off into a whisper.
A dark shadow befell him. She was even more pathetic than he originally thought. He snarled at her ineptitude and deluded culpability.
Didn't she realize it's his fault? What could she have possibly done to prevent anything? But he could have made a difference, had he been there sooner.
How ridiculously self-centered of her to insert herself in the middle of something in which she didn't belong. The nerve of this woman to share the blame that so obviously belonged to him.
Perhaps he should put her out of her misery. They would both be better for it.
"I was too weak…" She breathed a deep sigh of barely contained misery and grief. "…and everyone knew it." A single tear streamed down and fell from her pointed chin. "If I had been stronger, Neji wouldn't have felt the need to interfere."
She sniffled and her voice broke as she quietly admitted, "It should have been me instead of you."
Tch. Now she's crying. What a pitiful excuse for a kunoichi. He couldn't watch her whimpering any longer. He turned away his head with arms crossed.
Crying is known to be an excellent method of relieving one's pain. Perhaps you should try it sometime, Ototo.
I'm not taking advice from you anymore, Aniki. We all know where that led me.
Always so foolish…
He clicked his tongue in annoyance and turned back towards the white-eyed female. At least she was real.
"…But I'm trying to work on making myself stronger to keep my promise to you, Naruto." She held out her wrists towards the ground where Naruto's body was laid to rest. "See? I made these seals. They're helping me to control my bad habits. Like my stutter."
Sasuke rolled his eyes with accompanying sarcastic thoughts as he tried to ignore her mellifluous chatter. I'm sure speech therapy could have saved everyone in the war.
Who knows? Maybe Madara's weakness is talk-no-jutsu?
His eye twitched. That… is the dumbest thing, I've ever heard you say. That's why I call you an idiot.
Heh. Actually, you're the idiot since you're the one who thought it. I'm made up, remember?
He does have a point, Ototo. Besides, to subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill.
Whatever.
"A-and- OUCH!"
He watched as she again waved her hands around and hissed in pain, making his lips lift in diversion.
It is rather painful to witness this poor girl fumble so.
I find it rather enjoyable.
Is that so?
Hn.
"As I was going to say, I'm working on a way to create a counter to the caged bird seal. I'm really close…"
Sasuke homed in on three key words, tuning out her one-sided conversation.
Caged. Bird. Seal.
Hyuga.
Hyuga Hinata.
I remember now…
His poor recollection of the Hyuga clan was appalling to him, but then again, he had little to no interaction with any of their members, including Hinata. Images of an awkward and shy academy student with boyishly short hair bombarded his mind.
She looks different.
He remembered her as a child. Quietly cheering for Naruto from the sidelines of a match against him. Hiding behind a tree while Naruto trained at a distance. Chatting with Naruto during the written exams… A lightbulb lit up above his head.
Naruto Uzumaki, you had a fangirl!
Whaaa? Hinata?
And you were too much of an idiot to notice.
You mean to say she wasn't one of yours, Little Brother? Intriguing.
Hey, I had plenty of fangirls! Sakura was my biggest fangirl! She just couldn't see it past your FAT HEAD!
Why are you screaming again?
Still, what Hinata is trying to accomplish is rather impressive.
His dark eyes travelled to the kunoichi who was now sitting in the grass. Merrily chatting away the day as if Naruto were sitting right in front of her.
Sasuke tutted his dismay. She wasn't leaving anytime soon.
Just then his stomach grumbled, reminding him he hadn't eaten anything for breakfast, and it was now mid-afternoon. He pinched the bridge of his nose between a forefinger and thumb and conceded.
I'll come back tomorrow. The stupid Hyuga will be bothering someone else, and I can continue our plan of turning myself in. After you two are gone.
With one last look at the sadly smiling girl, he shook his head in confusion and turned away.
Annoying.
Leaping from branch to branch, he headed away from the village, but his mind kept wandering back to the strange girl.
The next morning, Sasuke emerged from one of Orochimaru's old hideouts near the village.
He bathed and fished in a nearby river. Desiring to keep a low profile, he ate the fish raw and avoided the signal smoke from a fire. It was anyone's guess how long it would be until he could enjoy these small allowances again once he was in Konoha's clutches.
Feeling physically and mentally prepared, he made his way through the forest and towards the graveyard. Quietly he approached. Wary of other visitors, he donned the same tactic of cloaking himself in the surrounding trees upon arrival and scanned the grounds.
His focus darting from Itachi's grave and then to Naruto's, finding them empty.
He breathed a sigh of relief.
Until a small movement out of the corner of his eye grabbed his attention. His tormentor was back.
Dressed in a similar white kimono. This one adorned with white cranes against an even lighter backdrop. She was kneeling at a different grave today. It was in a completely different section of the memorial.
He swore at his luck.
Kami is surely punishing him with this woman.
What is she even doing here? Again! Shinobi lose people all the time but she's the only one coming here and talking to dead people every day.
She's not the only one talking to dead people every day…
Fuck off.
Hehe. Whatever you say!
'(8.2) Tony Anderson - Dwell (Snowfall Remix)
He glared at the creature responsible for his soured mood. Half tempted to set her pretty, expensive looking kimono alight with black flames. The thought made him chuckle.
"Mother…" Hinata breathed in a slow and anguished hush.
Sasuke's mind quieted and he gulped.
That word.
Mother.
The way she said it. It was so familiar to him that he felt his own breathing become shallow. Scooting backwards, he pushed back against the trunk of the same tree as the day before. Pulling up his knees and wrapping both arms around tightly, his eyes shut beneath furrowed brows.
"I miss you… so much…"
His head shot to the side, and he took his time to observe her through shifting red irises.
Her hair was so much like his mother's. It wasn't black like he originally thought or brown like the other Hyuga. When the light hit it, it reflected a vibrant blue-violet hue.
It had been so long since he'd seen his mother that her face was hard to envision. The thought infected him with a deep sense of longing.
Trying to recall her appearance, hazy images of pale skin and his chubby fingers tugging and twirling that midnight black hair assaulted his memory. He could almost smell the floral scent she always carried with her.
Those raven-colored locks would tickle his cheeks just before she leaned down to kiss him goodnight. He would hold onto the silky strands while she lounged in his bed until he slowly drifted off to sleep. He didn't remember having nightmares back then.
These reminiscences were unpleasant to relive.
He looked at Hinata again. Really looked this time. Took in the gentle slope of her small, upturned nose. The fullness of her pink lips. The way her long lashes fanned out across her cheeks when her eyes closed.
She was like a doll. Breakable. What kind of kunoichi looks like that?
Weak. His mind whispered back at him.
He noticed the placement of the grave was in an even older plot than his own family. His lids lowered as a small amount of guilt stabbed at his derision.
She lost her mother even before he did.
Unable to resist, and for lack of better options, he listened as Hinata invoked her mother's spirit.
"Oto-sama says Neji-niisan will become the clan head when he retires. Along with Hanabi-neechan."
His heart clenched again. Niisan…
A small smile played at the edges of her mouth as she spoke quietly. "I am happy for them. The clan prodigies would be best for the future of the Hyuga."
The lonely Uchiha sat in quiet reflection, listening to Hinata talk about the ongoings of her life. He half listened and half thought about his own life. This went on for hours.
Her words managed to dig into his flesh and uncover everything painful and long buried deep inside.
His kind mother.
His disappointed father.
His brother that he could never truly live up to.
His noble clan.
The vacancy in his soul left upon losing his friend…
He'd spent the past two years trying not to feel anything. Now here he was, unable to escape the soft clutches of her murmurings.
He sat until he could no longer bear the sound of her soporific tone and the way it managed to rub against his tender emotional seams. It was agony.
Tomorrow he would continue with his plan. He couldn't do it today. For now, he needed to get far away from the tortured Hyuga princess. He was certain she would not come back the next day.
'(8.3) Adi Goldstein – Guide My Way
She was back the next day.
And the day after.
Day after day, rain or shine, Sasuke returned to the graveyard. Hidden behind the same tree. Sitting on the same branch. Cloaked under the cover of his genjutsu.
He listened to the Hyuga quietly drivel among the dead while he would slowly become absorbed in her conversations. At some point, he began mentally conversing with her as if she were one of his simulated companions.
"Ko-san gave me cinnamon buns today. I think you would have liked them."
No, I wouldn't. I hate sweets. They're disgusting.
Why she had so much free time to sit and chat for hours made no sense to him. He rationalized that her nobility meant she did not need to work or go on missions. Tch. Snob.
"Do you think there is an alternate reality out there where we're all still together?"
That's a dumb question.
He began analyzing her mannerisms, the way she would touch her lips when deep in thought or overcome with grief. He pondered on her life in the village.
Was her clan upbringing the same as his?
Was Naruto ever aware of her feelings for him?
Would they have ended up together?
"I figured out a new jutsu last night! I call it the Flying Twin Lion Fists. By combining my Vacuum Palm with my Twin Lion Fists, I can shave off my opponent's chakra from a distance now."
That's… surprisingly useful.
"I'm still working on getting better distance though…"
After three weeks of this routine, he told himself he was there, waiting for the day that she would not show, just so he could finally say his goodbyes in peace.
What he failed to realize was his ghosts hadn't spoken to him in days.
"I went to dinner with Shino and Kiba last night. Kiba got angry drunk and called the waitress a 'carpet muncher.' Why would anyone want to eat a rug? It must have to do with being so poor they cannot afford a proper meal. Or maybe it's that they are so daft they think it's food? Either way, it's rather offensive."
Sasuke closed his eyes. He took a deep breath through his nose to force down the laugh that threatened to break his stoic facade. Yet he could not deny the small degree his lips lifted.
With relaxed features, he rested on his usual perch feeling a sense of calm that confused him at first. As if seeing the sun for the first time after being birthed on a long winter's night.
"Remember our nindo? To never give up? I want to keep trying. To be better. Stronger. To keep my promise to you."
He slowly lifted his gaze to the delicate looking female in contemplation. Her words, his words, resonating deep in his soul.
Never give up.
"You taught Neji that he could control his own destiny… and I believe you. I control my own destiny too. I can't change the past, but I can keep moving forward. I won't ever give up. Like you taught me..."
The beating of his heart increased. Her monologue echoed in the chambers of his mind and forced him to reflect on his actions.
Keep moving…
On his decisions.
I control my destiny…
"I was lost in the darkness, but there's still hope. I'll be here to protect the Leaf for you. Aishiteru..."
Aishiteru.
His stomach fluttered uneasily as he continued to stare at the woman before him. An emotion sparked in his chest that he couldn't place.
A light hand landed on Hinata's shoulder. She startled and turned to meet red irises framed by long, curly black hair and a warm smile.
"Hinata," the woman greeted with a motherly croon.
Sasuke noted she was around Kakashi's age. If he didn't know better, he would have thought she was an Uchiha.
Hinata bowed her head politely with a grin. "Kurenai-sensei."
"Come, Hinata. We have a mission."
She nodded obediently. Exuding a sense of determination he hadn't previously witnessed, Hinata followed her sensei away from the graveyard.
Sasuke stood carefully, balanced on his usual bough, a hand pressed to the rough trunk, and watched them fade into the distance.
Thoughts turned and new ones formed.
Maybe the village isn't all bad.
Perhaps things should change.
I'm ready now…
Present (Late Summer 5 AN) – Konoha Memorial Cemetery
He blinked away fragments of the past from his mind like the sands of time.
Here they were again.
Sasuke stared at the back of the black clad figure staring wordlessly at Naruto's grave. The way she always did on the Saturday mornings where she was free. Flowers already placed on graves.
Today was different though.
Today he also held flowers… and he was not hiding in the trees.
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A/N: This is probably my favorite chapter to date, and I just couldn't wait to bring it to you! I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. There's so much content packed into a simplistic 5K words and I want to unravel it all! Be warned, this is one of my wordier author's notes. If you'd rather pick apart the scenes on your own, feel free to skip. I can't help myself!
Behind the Curtains: This chapter catches you up on everything that's happened to Sasuke from Naruto's death through Neji's flashback. The Hyuga have just returned to Konoha and are still excused from mission duty when they arrive (which is why Hinata has so much free time).
This chapter is titled Ghosts for good reason. Sasuke mistakes Hinata as the ghost of his mother. Hinata and Sasuke BOTH talk to ghosts of dead loved ones. Lastly, we discovered that Sasuke is Hinata's graveyard "ghost" that she noticed in the Prologue. She can sense him before he cloaks himself and he doesn't think to cloak himself until he arrives at the graveyard. This is because she doesn't sense his approach in the early years like she does in the later years (Prologue). This is due to her growth as a kunoichi. I make subtle references to it but there is a good chunk of time in between that he is not visiting the graveyard to see Hinata so he's not aware of how much she's grown. More on this to come.
I really wanted to highlight the parallels between Sasuke and Hinata's lives, both in canon and in this story, that make them so compatible. Aside from what I wrote, both Sasuke and Hinata fall into a sort of mute depression after the war. They are both forced out of their deep internalization by outside forces. In contrast, for Hinata, it was her love for Neji. For Sasuke, it was vigilantism and a sense of purpose. Another difference is Hinata has a good support system in Neji, Hanabi, and her team. Sasuke has none so his mind conjures one, or two.
Our two protagonists have also switched roles from their canon past. Usually, Hinata is doing the watching and Sasuke is the one being watched.
At the end of this chapter, they've both come to a bend in their depression together, without Hinata realizing it. One of the things that really tickles me about their interaction, or lack thereof, is that they still haven't talked. It's one of the biggest anti-SasuHina arguments. Well, I just wrote half a chapter of relationship growth (albeit one-sided) where the two still haven't talked. XD
Anyway, I also wanted to address Sasuke's relationship with Sakura. SasuSaku fans like to bring up the fact that cherry blossom trees remind him of Sakura as proof of love. So, I wanted to take that example and provide a different perspective on how it could be interpreted. Same goes with Sasuke having a small crush on Sakura before he attended the academy. Life happens. People grow and they change. I certainly didn't marry my one of many childhood crushes. When Sasuke says "perhaps things should change" he's talking about his plans, including restarting his clan with Sakura. On a personal level, I was also referring to how things ended in canon.
Final thought… even though I was a jerk who killed Naruto, I am someone who believes that a person is not truly dead until they are forgotten. Naruto is a hero, even in death. Because Hinata reminds Sasuke of Naruto's nindo, Sasuke can get over this hurdle. He isn't magically cured of his depression, but his record is no longer set to repeat.
Fun facts:
The group Sasuke eliminated in the beginning of the chapter is the Lightning Group from the Sasuke Shinden novel.
Did you know it takes three weeks to form a habit? This is the primary reason I had the daily graveyard visits occur for over three weeks.
When you have a bad habit, one supposed remedy is to place a rubber band on your wrist and every time you exhibit that behavior, you snap yourself with the rubber band. Haha! That's where I came up with the idea of Hinata's wrist seals.
It is psychologically normal to enjoy the pain of others. This can be observed in babies who laugh when someone falls or gets hit. Supposedly, this has to do with Greek tragedies being liked by so many. Therefore, Sasuke wants to laugh and smile when he sees Hinata in physical pain. I guess I'm saying he's emotionally stunted at this point in his life. LoL. He's also super tired. Have you ever been so tired that anything is funny? I'm there more than anyone should be. :D
Given the opportunity, talk-no-jutsu is everyone's weakness.
Aishiteru means "I love you" in Japanese but holds more meaning than "daisuke." So much more that it is usually reserved only for when two people are getting married or when someone is on their death bed. Even a married couple will usually say "daisuke." That is why Itachi saying it to Sasuke and Hinata saying it to Naruto here are so significant.
Thank you to akshambari, Ana Jaber Cesar, Asia Jackson, Carlinadbz, MitcheLove, muzicaldove, and Sommernacht for your new Favorites and Follows! My readers are flipping rockstars!
Your reviews always bring a smile to my face. Thank you for taking the time to let me know how a chapter affected you and what you think of my writing in general. I'm super humbled by the kindness in your reviews.
Guest: Hello! I love my shy anon readers and appreciate the fact that you are still willing to share your thoughts. I really enjoyed reading your reaction and after you said you don't want to wait 6+ months, I'd pretty much decided at that point that you're right. I hope you enjoyed the start of Season 2!
Bexbluedragon76: It's always great hearing from you my friend. You are absolutely right in Neji's borderline obsessiveness and I actually think he's aware of it but can't help himself. Jealous Neji is really fun to write so you'll probably see more of him. ;) I'm so glad you like the new Uchihas. OCs are really hit or miss so everyone's positive reaction so far has been really motivating to me. I really love Team 8 too. Best Team! Being a writer yourself, your reviews really mean a lot to me. Your poetry is incredibly deep and touching. *tips hat*
Sommernacht: The fact that you binged all those chapters in such a short period of time had me amazed and smiling so hard my cheeks hurt! It makes me so happy that you are feeling so many different emotions from one chapter to the next. It lets me know that I'm doing something right. We've chatted so much that I will just say one more thing here. You are such a talented writer and I'm looking forward to your updates as well.
Zsyree: Hey I missed you but I'm glad you're back! I did not make you wait 6 months. Thank you for your review, it made me really happy. I like Sasuke and Hinata's sort of flirty but touch and go relationship right now too. I don't usually read Sasuke being the pursuer so I thought it would be interesting to see how that would play out. This chapter lets you know why he is the way he is towards Hinata. I really hope you liked reading about it. And agreed the Hyuga were done dirty imo. They started out more powerful than the Uchiha and then nothing. One Uchiha could basically annihilate all Hyuga by the end. SMH.
LB Cat: Haha! Team 8 IS yummy! I'm glad you think Hinata is believable and you're right, my version of Neji is a little different than most other representations. He's always had that cockiness to him and I imagine that to only grow with his appointment as heir. As Bex mentioned, he's also a little obsessive which to me seems right. There was a moment in the anime right after the Konoha crush where Hinata is tending to a wounded soldier and Neji is watching her through the open flap of the tent, and I was getting some weird vibes. That's where my NejiHina curiosity actually started. Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter and look forward to hearing more from you!
Muzicaldove: Welcome to the show! Thank you for leaving a comment and I'm so excited to have you join me on this journey. I see you also like to dabble in writing. Knowing this, I'm even more humbled by your positive review. I hope to hear more from you in the future!
Next chapter: Babysitting duty…
See you next time!
LEA