The stories you see below you are false. The author who wrote them is real, but his name has been changed to protect the guilty. All that can be revealed about him is that he adores puppies, suffers from a crippling addiction to cop shows (which three 'Law and Order' series and the recent premieres of 'Monk' and 'Dragnet' Down Under aren't helping with), and is being prosecuted under the Pretentious Writing Act 1999 for excessive writing in present tense and for referring to himself in the third person too much.