closer to you
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act I | "have you ever been in love with someone who doesn't know you exist?"
The air was sucker-punched out of him, the familiar rush of warmth gnawing its way to his ears – spreading towards the nape of his neck in curiosity and the drying of his throat made him halt in mid-step. He hid behind a juncture in the hallway, unwilling to attain attention.
Her attention.
Oliver Davis; the vice president of the student council. At the start of freshman year, everyone had been absolutely fascinated with the English-bred transfer student and his extensive knowledge of the supernatural. However, this awe he received from the other students lasted as long as it took for the assigned teacher to enter the classroom.
Boring; his peers had frowned at him. He was boring, according to them; boring and uptight. His circle framed glasses sat wide on his nose bridge, the pristine school uniform buttoned-up prim and proper, along with various, difficultly -titled, thick novels – he was deemed boring.
Not to say he minded. Oliver didn't like the limelight; he tended to skit around the shadows, going unnoticed by the majority and being secluded in a pile of parapsychology novels and data.
As a result, there were various things the students of Haruko High School didn't know about Oliver Davis.
Unfortunately, his feelings for Taniyama Mai wasn't one of them.
Taniyama Mai – she's a second year belonging to class 1-A. One of the first times he spotted her, was during the first-year entrance ceremonies. Her uniform had clung to her figure as she dashed towards the gate. She had been late; as she frequently is. She was a sight to marvel – and he became mesmerized – as her short, unruly strands danced at her every movement.
As a result, he began to notice her, and it only got worse with time – observing her had transformed into a necessary requirement, like the mortal need to inhale oxygen. He had gone out of his way to see her – even merely fleetingly.
Noticing her was enough – he, like many others, appreciated her good-looks, but it wasn't what got him to this state. The moment he saw her sporting her signature wicked smile – the damned grin pulled her cheeks, accentuating the left dimple that appeared when she spoke, crinkling her eyes as her pouty lips featured her straight teeth, her nose scrunching upward, and her eyes – her damned eyes – those pair of vivid, expression-filled eyes are the reason he's in this mess.
It wasn't like he couldn't do more than simply watch her – because he could, it was more accurately said he didn't know how to get his limbs to move towards her, or how to keep his fingers from fidgeting compulsively, or how to get his vocal cords to cooperate with his brain and actually say something.
Then again, observing rather than interacting came easier to him.
And so, his "daily dose of Taniyama Mai", as the president of the student council, Yasuhara Osamu, eloquently phrased it, continued. Only, observing her lead to breeding this overwhelming, heat-inducing, pupil dilating thundering in his chest – love.
He is in love with her.
Which made everything worse.
If only it had stopped with him noticing her.
He could've carried on with his reclusive life, enjoying his studies in Japan before ultimately heading back to the comforts of his hometown in England, while assisting his father on paranormal investigations, reassuring his step-mother he was over his twin brother's sudden death (which he was not) and securing his spot in Cambridge University.
If only it hadn't gotten to this point.
Taniyama Mai is more than a pretty face. And perhaps it is biased for him to vouch for her character - considering his feelings, but it was no secret that Taniyama Mai was kind. To an unnecessary degree.
The type to save a stranger's life at the expense of her own. The type to completely and idiotically disregard her own feelings in order to help someone else. The type to be utterly miserable and suffer alone rather than burden someone else.
She was akin to an open book; he could read her easily, and it intrigued him.
She gnawed her bottom pout when she through deeply, her arms would cross sassily under her chest as her eyebrow would raise waiting for an explanation, her eyerolls in exasperation as she placed her right hand on her hip, or –.
Oliver liked her, it was as obvious as the sky being blue, or water being wet, or anything. Oliver liked Taniyama Mai. So, what? Half the school liked her too. He wasn't flirtatious or sleek enough to stride towards a girl he fancied and somehow acquire her affections.
He wasn't like Eugene Davis – his deceased identical, twin brother, whom everyone preferred as opposed to the peculiar, quiet one with the thick novels and pristine clothing. Eugene Davis would have approached Taniyama Mai with ease in his steps and romanticized her similar to the dozens of girls back home.
How pathetic.
If given the chance, Eugene Davis could attain her affection despite being dead. It would be relatively easy with his warmth-gushing smiles and lively eyes; she'd have fallen for him guaranteed. His brother was better than him in various aspects, matters pertaining to the heart was simply one of a thousand.
Was it normal to feel envy towards the dead? Was he even allowed to be jealous of other people, when Taniyama Mai and him aren't even acquainted? Could he even be thinking about her in such an intimate way?
Well, it wasn't like this love ordeal came with a manual or how-to guide, and he couldn't control how he felt – despite popular belief, he wasn't an emotionless void.
That and, it wasn't difficult to fall for Taniyama Mai. In fact, she was constantly swarmed with unconditional affection; one might accumulate it to her curly short hair framing her peachy toned complexion – honey -glazed brown tresses with the occasional auburn strands hidden throughout. Or her big hazel eyes reflected in the sun as the speck of luscious gold and emerald are easily visible, surrounded by long, dark lashes fanning her smooth, freckled cheeks. Or –
The point being, Taniyama Mai is pretty.
A frown assaulted his brows, he was going insane. Even if she wasn't considered conventionally pretty, he'd still be completely and utterly hopeless for her. Her looks aren't a key factor for him.
Oliver allowed a silent sigh to slip past his lips, watching as Mai and her three friends entered the auditorium with a playful push as she tilted her head upward and gave a (butterfly-inducing) tinkering laugh. The packets he had to deliver to the student council long forgotten at the sight of her smile.
"Man, you have it bad," Yasuhara Osamu let out a low whistle emphasizing what he meant by glancing in the brunette's direction.
He stiffened despite himself, sparing Yasuhara a glance. He'd been caught. And by Yasuhara Osamu, no less.
As he implied previously, Yasuhara Osamu was well aware of his feeling for her (as well as half the school) – also he was the president of the student council with excelling grades and welcoming personality; he is admired by many for his wise characteristic and friendly attitude.
As the girls disappeared into the room, Oliver decided to accomplish his task and bring the packets to the student council. "What do you need?" it wasn't phrased as a question, but Oliver's particular speech was normally straightforward and blunt.
"Yeah, yeah – nice to see you too," Yasuhara grinned, a gleam entering his rectangular glasses. "I was passing by and I happen to see you getting your daily dose of Taniyama Mai, so I decided to come to root you on!" Also decoded as he noticed Oliver walking down the hall and chose to stalk him while Oliver stalked Mai.
To this Oliver gave a blank stare.
Yasuhara, however, ignored this. "I don't get it; she isn't dating anyone and you're decent looking – why not just confess?" The pause in Oliver's step evaded Yasuhara's mind, "It's just – you've been pining after her since we were second years! Usually, people would call this a crush but… the way you look at her – I don't know."
He kept quiet, the one thing he did best. Why didn't he confess? If she rejected him, he could merely move on; after all, she is only a girl. It wouldn't be the end of the world – and statistically, most romantic relationships didn't last a human lifespan.
Oliver had battled ominous, blood-thirsty spiritual entities victoriously, survived his twin brother's vigorous murder, and accepted his birth mother's abandonment – he certainly could deal with a broken heart, right?
But he couldn't.
How pathetic.
How goddamnned pathetic.
Taniyama Mai – with her shimmering unruly curls and her contagious smile that filtered her eyes with content; how could he ever forget that?
And it was all her fault.
He had decided to finish his studies in Japan after the death of his brother. To start anew, in order to heal – away from the constant reminder of his other half - away from flirtatious peers that substituted him for Eugene. Eugene Davis – Gene.
But she – she had the audacity to make him whole again. He was surviving without his brother's warmth seeping through him; he was doing fine. Oliver didn't want to be whole anymore. And certainly not if meant not being able to go one day without seeing her.
But he could not hate her. Not even a little, not at all.
"How are the preparations for the school festival?" Oliver stated questionably, his droll stare catching Yasuhara off guard. Then again, this was Oliver Davis – the stoic, transferee bookworm who happened to be madly in love with Taniyama Mai.
And so, Yasuhara decided to ignore the change of topic. Oliver would never tell him anyway, he was naturally enigmatic, inapt. The only thing he did know was Oliver gazed at Mai with a newly awakened eye – as if she hands descended from the heavens and gave him meaning – purpose.
Oliver Davis would say he was fine with how things were, anyway. He'd never take the step towards her. He'd never summon the courage to speak to her. No, because this is fine.
After all, even if she has absolutely no inch of an idea as to who he is, as long as he is able to see her there, see her expressive hazel eyes and a wide smile – he'll gratefully accept it.
000ooo000ooo000
I've kept this to myself for so long and now it belongs to the internet, thanks for reading!