"You...must be joking," Neji said.

It was a blistering winter day, snowing by the bucketload. The sky was not quite grey, not quite white, and the sun was cold and pale above. A day when most people would really prefer to be bundled up cozily indoors in front of a crackling fire, sipping hot chocolate and drinking warm soup. But of course, Team Guy was not "most people."

No, Team Guy was lounging around in the Hyuuga clan courtyard of all places, and as with all courtyards, it was open to the sky. The freezing sky chiding them for coming outside by showering them with snowflakes. Speaking of those...

"Well, aren't you a special snowflake, Hyuuga Neji?" Tenten snapped, finally at her wit's end. "No, I am not joking. 99.99% of the world's population doesn't enjoy training out in the middle of a snowstorm in late December. Why are you so, so special and exceptional regarding this?"

"Lee is also the same," Neji pointed out, seemingly unfazed by Tenten's uncharacteristic vitriol but for the frown lines creasing his forehead.

"No, Guy-sensei told me to take the day off since I was practicing jogging in the middle of last night," Lee chirped up, dressed in an oddly comfy-looking winter coat and track pants that were (of course) bright neon green.

The frown lines on Neji's forehead deepened as Tenten shot Lee a grateful look and turned her eyes back to him, hardening like iron. Neji, surprisingly, avoided the iron gaze and stared at the white, crunchy ground.

"I...I am not training," he defended weakly. "I am merely...brainstorming."

"Brainstorming," Tenten repeated. "Outside. In a blizzard."

"...Yes."

"No. Lee, help me drag Neji back into his room before his uncle finds out that he's caught hypothermia or something and dies."

"Okay!" Lee chirped again, grabbing Neji's arm in a vicelike, crushing grip. "And if I don't succeed, I will..."

"Tell his cousin Hanabi and ask her to set him on fire with firecrackers," Tenten finished, cracking her knuckles and also seizing Neji's arm in a vicelike, crushing grip.

"Right!" Lee agreed.

"Wait, what? That's cruel and unusual punishment – "

"Oh, shut up, Neji."

"Promise me that you won't go within ten feet of that ogress – "

"She's not an ogress, Neji, she's a sweet, adorable Academy student."

"You don't know her like I do."

"Whatever. Lee, on the count of three, okay?"

"Okay!"

"One – "

"I strongly object – "

"Two – "

"Why are you two ganging up on me like – "

"Three!"

Neji spluttered indignantly as his teammates manhandled him a very gruff fashion, not removing their hands from his arms for a moment, wrenching open one of the many shoji doors leading back into the compound interior, and marching him all the way into his room and shoving him onto the carelessly unrolled futon before sliding the screen door shut with a snap of finality.

"Now," Tenten said, as she and Lee both flanked their resigned teammate on the futon. "Spill. Usually you're not insane like Lee, Neji – "

"Hey!" both guys piped up in unison. Tenten grinned at their rare show of unity. Looked like today was a day in which the natural order of Team Guy was upended and strange alliances were formed. After she and Lee ganging up on Neji, they both pitch in against her? Neji and Tenten vs. the two youthful maniacs was the usual fare.

Interesting, she thought.

"Anyway, as I was saying, usually you don't do things like training in blizzards," she continued. "So what's the big deal now?"

Neji muttered something under his breath and glanced away, scowling.

"What was that?" Tenten asked exaggeratedly. "I can't hear you."

"..."

"Neji, speak properly. Or I can train your muttering out of you," she offered, fingering a scroll in her pocket lovingly. "What do you say, Lee? Want to help me knock the – "

"I was thinking of a present for Hinata-sama's birthday," he finally said, taking cognizance of the dire situation.

"Now we're getting somewhere!" said Tenten triumphantly. Neji glowered at her, a fact she blithely ignored. "Now what kind of present do you have in mind?"

"I was thinking of her favorite food, cinnamon rolls, while I was out in the snow, and I – "

"Cinnamon rolls, huh?" Tenten asked. "Getting a girl's favorite food on her birthday...you really are good boyfriend material, Neji. What do you think, Lee?" she asked, grinning evilly as Neji spluttered and squirmed.

"YES, I totally agree!" Lee whooped. Neji paled in mortification, which Lee didn't notice. "You would not only be a great boyfriend, but a great spouse too, Neji. Just think of how happy Tenten would be if you make her dumplings for her birthday – "

Neji went from pale to red to green to purple and then circled right back to pale, all in the space of three seconds. Tenten was having a field day.

"Hold on – I – what – why – Tenten – spouse – "

For most people, the topic of what do for someone's birthday would involve pleasant discussion of the birthday girl or guy's favorite food, books, hobbies, and so on, and the gifter would finally decide from the variety of options therein.

But well, Team Guy was not "most people."

No, Team Guy was populated with the sort of people who would derail a simple conversation about birthday presents off a cliff and into the ocean of whether its most uptight teammate was good boyfriend material for his other teammate, someone who was mistakenly assumed to be sane and non-unhinged by outsiders.

Neji knew better though. The universe had decided to upset the natural order of his team and conspired to make his teammates gang up on him.

He dearly wished to go jump into the ten feet of snow outside until things righted themselves again.

A/N: Written for Day 14: Free Day. Actually, I meant to write the first prompt, "Vacation," but that idea kind of mutated into something else entirely...only the winter setting remains intact...

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