"Hey, kid, get out of the way!" some goon sneered, pushing some ten-year-old to the ground.

It was one of the notorious dark alleys in one of Konoha Town's most dangerous districts. Coming here at nighttime, you would be lucky if you only came across alley cats having ferocious squabbles and waking up the residents who were unfortunate enough to live in the neighborhood. If you were unlucky, or if you didn't have any common sense like this kid, you would run into one of the goons from the biker gangs.

Tenten supposed that this kid was new to Konoha Town, or else he wouldn't have gone into the alley.

But this was great news for her. No, not because she was a sadist and loved watching little kids get beaten up. But because she'd just gotten a chance to do her karate outside of practice! What better time to use it than on the biker gangs loitering in dark alleys? She was a yudansha!

"I'll handle this, Tenten," said a voice from behind.

...And she sighed deeply.

"Oh, it's you, Class Rep."

Hyuuga Neji, head of class 1-A and a yudansha in judo, stepped out from the shadows, his long, dark hair neatly in place and school uniform miraculously intact even through the strange events that had taken place in the morning. Tenten could not say the same about her own uniform, which had suffered from cigarette burns, spilled yakisoba, spilled ramen, and spilled nail polish. And her hair buns...the less said about those, the better. All because of that moron. Whatever, though. She had a gangster to beat up.

"Isn't your house on the other side of town?" Tenten asked.

"Yes, but my cousin's favorite cinnamon roll bakery is over on the other side of the street. Someone has to cheer her up." Neji's calm expression slightly cracked as a visible knot of irritation formed on his brow.

"Poor Hinata. Who could have imagined that lunch would have been such a disaster?" Tenten sighed.

That moron was probably still back at school, cleaning up the mess. Principal Tsunade had been passing by and her fury upon seeing the disaster area almost made her wreck the classroom and give yet more meaning to her nickname, "Legendary Debt Collector." Only the combined efforts of Hinata and their homeroom teacher Kakashi-sensei had stopped her rampage.

Tenten shuddered. What a nightmare.

"Anyway, Tenten, please step aside." Neji cracked his knuckles and faced the oblivious gangster, who was now busy stealing the sobbing kid's pocket money. "I am the the school's number one martial arts expert, a yudansha. I can handle miscreants."

"Class Rep," Tenten said through gritted teeth. God. He was pretentious and annoying when it came to his self-declared status as number one martial arts expert. "I'm a yudansha too."

"I'm the Class Rep. That means it's my job to look after the others."

"I can look after myself fine!" she snapped.

So caught up were they in their bickering that neither of them noticed when that moron showed up too. It was only when he started shouting out his opening lines that both they, the goon, and the kid looked up.

"Beating up little kids, are you?" the moron yelled, running into the dark alley and swinging a yo-yo around energetically. "Don't think I, Uzumaki Naruto, future souban of Japan, will forgive you!"

Neji and Tenten groaned simultaneously.

"Naruto, I believe your house is over there." Neji jerked his head to the east, far, far away from the alley. His voice was as crisp as the autumn wind and harsher than the winter one. "Not here. So please excuse yourself from this fight."

Evidently the Class Rep still hadn't gotten over how Naruto had defeated him in martial arts last week. Not that she could blame him.

Losing to the "future souban of Japan" had been the most mortifying experience of her life, not least because he had a very...naive view of what the word actually meant. Scratch that. Naruto had no idea of what being a souban actually meant. From listening to him talk, you would think that the yakuza were some kind of elderly assistance group, and that the souban was a position equivalent to being the mayor. He never listened when people tried to correct him. This was also, incidentally, why no one was remotely threatened by him declaring that he wanted to be one.

That, and the obnoxious yo-yo he kept carrying around.

Yeah, people didn't take him seriously when he carried that yo-yo around. The goon burst out laughing and finally cracked his knuckles as well. Then Naruto cracked his knuckles. And the goon cracked his knuckles. And Naruto cracked his knuckles. And the goon cracked his knuckles. Over and over again.

Tenten decided to intervene before it turned into a vicious cycle of knuckle-cracking war.

"Naruto, seriously, why are you here?" she asked. "Your house is that way. And you have egg yolk in your hair."

It was true. Although the pale yellow blended right in with his spiky blonde hair, the sticky shine reflected the sunlight and looked very, very gross. Naruto blithely wiped it off.

"Well, you know how the whole class got into that one fight in the morning and Principal Tsunade got super mad?" Naruto asked.

"Yes," Neji and Tenten chorused. How could they possibly forget. Life had never been normal ever since Naruto joined their school.

"So I figured, if I take care of these biker goons bothering everyone, she might see that I'm a good kid and uh...not make me pay for everyone's ruined lunch...?" He scratched his head sheepishly.

Tenten sighed. Naruto was a moron. As if Principal Tsunade would ever let him off the hook that easily.

The knot of annoyance of Neji's forehead deepened. "As Class Rep, I insist that..."

"Oh, lighten up, Neji, I have awesome yo-yo moves," Naruto said nonchalantly, swinging the bright orange toy with bright orange string around as though he were five.

"Well, if you three idiots are finished having your stupid conversation, I'll gladly pummel you," said the goon, cracking his knuckles for the last time and getting the final say in the knuckle-cracking war.

Then Naruto swung his yo-yo at lightning speed and smashed the goon right in the nose. Amazingly, Naruto had hit him so hard that blood began to stream from the goon's wide nostrils and onto his walrus mustache. Tenten stared. She still didn't know much string that yo-yo had. The goon had to have been at least a yard away.

Speaking of that, the goon roared in rage and charged right at Naruto, only to be foiled by the magic yo-yo yet again. Somehow, for reasons unknown to her, Naruto had swung the yo-yo again and twined the string around the goon's legs.

Like a rope. With a yo-yo.

The goon came crashing to the ground and predictably began roaring in rage again. Not that it helped. He was immobilized. And defeated in approximately five seconds.

With a yo-yo.

Neji's hands shook with tremors. Tenten could sympathize. The moron had taken away her karate practice time. And Neji's judo practice time. They were yudansha. They had wanted to handle this situation.

Stupid Naruto.

"Nii-chan, that...that was AWESOME!" The poor bullied kid was beaming up at Naruto with comically large tears in his eyes. Neji growled.

Naruto reached over and cut the string of the yo-yo with his bare hands, the goon subdued. Then he went over and patted the kid on the head.

"That's right, kid! Uzumaki Naruto, future souban of Japan, ready to save little kids and hunt bullies!" Naruto puffed out his chest and laughed.

The kid blinked. "...Souban? Nii-chan, uh..."

"It's like being the mayor," Naruto explained. "So if ya need any help, you know who to count on, right?"

"Right..." The kid finally made eye contact with the two forgotten yudansha.

Is nii-chan stupid? he mouthed.

Yes, Tenten mouthed back. Just forget it. Go home.

"Tenten."

She glanced over at Neji, who was staring at Naruto. A look of deep, deep misery and emptiness.

"Yeah, Class Rep?"

"I hate yo-yos."

"So do I, Class Rep. So do I. Wanna help me destroy it?" she asked.

"Yes."

As much as she and the Class Rep didn't see eye to eye on many subjects, there were quite a few things she found that she could agree with him on.

Yo-yos sucked.

And Naruto would not constantly get away with stealing the yudanshas' thunder with yo-yos. It was beyond parody.

"Great. Let's go to the cinnamon roll shop and plan."

A/N: Written for Day 23: Modern AU. Based on the OVA Shippu! Konoha Gakuen Den!, which was released on some DVDs. It's a high school AU in which Naruto is a new transfer student who wants to be a yakuza leader, Tenten is a karate practitioner, Neji is the class president and a martial arts expert, Naruto and Hinata go on a date while their classmates spy on them, Sasuke leaves the school with Orochimaruko and Kabuko, Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro are nerds, and Naruto defeats goons with his trusty yo-yo.

What an awesome AU. I don't care for high school AUs too much, but if the animation company people wanted to continue that OVA, I would definitely watch it. :)

Latte, thanks, and please keep reviewing! :)