Hey everyone,
that finale of season 9 made me incredibly mad. They really did Gabby and Dawsey dirty, so I decided to once again write another one shot. It was like therapy for me and I really hope you will like it.
"Hey Dawson, who were you talking to on the phone, earlier?" Isabella leaned back in one of the chairs at the gate at Marin International Airport and gave her a curious look.
"My ex-husband" Gabby smiled and sat down next to her. "One of the guys at my old firehouse is getting the medal of valor and I wanted him to record it for me."
"Wow" Isabella laughed. "Your Ex has you smiling like that? Must be a very special guy."
" He is." Gabby sighed. "But things between us…I don't know…they're complicated."
"You mean since you went back to Chicago and straight back into bed with him? You haven't talked to him since then?"
"No.. I mean yes. I have but he never took my offer and came visiting me." Gabby groaned in frustration. "I thought maybe…after what happened…you know… maybe… urgh I don't know what I was thinking."
"Oh, I do know what you were thinking" Isabella grinned. "You wanted to get laid again."
"That wasn't all I was thinking. I thought that maybe we still had some kind of chance and yes, I know I'm an idiot for thinking that."
"No. You're not." She took Gabby's hand. "I'm pretty sure love was never the problem between you two. You faced some tough shit together and it nearly broke both of you" Gabby had told her everything about the situation at home with Matt. Isabella, or Izzy as they called her, and Gabby had started working together when she came to Puerto Rico for the first time. Ever since then they have had a special bond. Like Gabby, Izzy left someone behind when she signed up for this line of work.
"Yeah but we talked about it and it's behind us now. I just don't get why he never said something about that voicemail. He didn't call for like three months and when he did, he acted like it never existed."
"Maybe he was afraid." Izzy offered. "Maybe he didn't want to risk anything anymore."
"But it was me who put herself out there, I made that offer. He just had to take it and he didn't. We talked after he filmed the ceremony for me but he sounded off. He asked me if I was happy." Gabby pulled her hair. "What was I supposed to say?"
"I don't know…maybe…the truth?" Izzy pushed Gabby's hand away. "Stop pulling your hair, you don't want it to fall out."
"But what is the truth?" She asked thoughtfully. "I am happy here. Yes. I love my job and I think this is a great place. But I do miss Chicago and my old Firehouse and God knows I miss that stubborn mule of an ex-husband."
"And?" Izzy raised an eyebrow. "Did you tell him all that?"
"I did." Gabby closed her eyes and pinched the back of her nose. "I did tell him and he said, he was happy for me and that I should keep doing this amazing work."
"You told him you miss him and that was his answer?"
"No. I told him I was happy here, that I loved my job but that sometimes I do miss Chicago and 51"
"Ow" Gabby whined as Izzy smacked her head. "What did I do to deserve this?"
"Oh, it's nothing you did." She rolled her eyes. "It's what you didn't do. You didn't tell him you miss him and you certainly didn't tell him you'll be back soon. Why?!"
"I'm afraid." Gabby admitted. "I'm afraid he moved on and forgot all about me. He sounded different. Like he wasn't comfortable talking to me."
"Oh of course you're afraid. You haven't seen him for a long time but you should've given him a fair warning." Izzy winked at her. "You know to make sure he has time to run."
The comment made Gabby laugh. "Yeah, maybe I should have but I guess now it's too late." She pointed to the woman in a dark blue dress who announced that their flight to Chicago was ready to board. "They'll celebrate at Molly's tonight. I'll surprise all of them there. You could come too?"
"Sounds like a plan." They got up and walked through the security door that lead into the gangway. Gabby was the first of them to set foot on the plane. She took a deep breath. Hopefully this was the first step in the right direction. After the flight attended showed them their seats, they stowed their bags in the overhead compartment and sat down.
"Finally. I can't wait to get back to Chicago and take care of some good old GSWs" Gabby joked. "Haven't had them for a while now."
"Yeah life was pretty boring here" Izzy deferred to the joke ."Not much to do"
Both of them laughed. In fact, it had been a pretty hard time for them. It had been like Gabby once told Matt, like the bells were going of every second. Both of them could use a break after doing what they did for the last two and a half years. The streets of Chicago would be a piece of cake compared to what they had seen. Gabby reached into the pocket of her hoodie for her phone. She put it into flight mode and leaned back in her seat. The flight attended announced they were ready for take-off now and she watched the city becoming smaller and smaller while the plane got airborne. She couldn't wait to see her friends and her 51 family again.
Four hours later Izzy shook her shoulder. "Wake up sleeping beauty. We're in Chicago"
The moment they touched the ground Gabby's heart started pounding. She was happy to be back and anxious to see everyone at 51 again. Soon after landing the plane reached its parking position and they took their bags and got out.
"Finally." Izzy put an arm around Gabby's shoulder. "Welcome back, ready to kick some ass in the CFD again?"
"Hell yes!" Gabby beamed at her. "I can't wait. I wonder where they placed us. Did you hear anything yet?"
"No, not yet. But Chief Hatcher promised to call first thing tomorrow morning. We'll start the day after tomorrow."
"Did you give him the landline number of our new apartment?"
"Of course, I did, I also gave him both of our cell phone numbers." Izzy winked at Gabby and pointed in the direction of the exit. "Now let's go to our new place. I can't wait to see what it looks like after I let my sister loose on it." Izzy's sister was an interior designer and had offered to get them a place and furnish it. They took her on the offer, because none of them had the time to come to Chicago before and look for apartments or furniture.
"Should I be afraid?" Gabby raised an eyebrow.
"No, she's amazing. Now let's go get a cab and then get ready for tonight. I can't wait to dress up again, I feel like I've been wearing nothing but fatigues for the last two and a half years."
"Oh, that's because you have. I asked my dad to buy me the nice dress I saw online. He went to the store and promised me to bring it to our place tonight."
"Aww that's so sweet of him." They exited the terminal and took a cab to their new place. It was a really nice two-bedroom apartment close to the heart of the city. When Gabby opened the front door, she gasped. "Wow. This place is amazing." There was a small hallway that lead into a large living room with an open plan kitchen. "Where are the bedrooms?"
"Behind that door next to the window is yours and mine is behind the other door in the hallway. We both have our own bathrooms so no bitch fights about who takes more time in there." Izzy explained.
"Sounds good to me, so…" Before Gabby could finish there was a knock at the front door.
"Mija open up, your old man can't wait to see his baby girl again!" She laughed and opened the door to let Ramon Dawson in. Izzy took the black garment bag from him and Gabby threw herself in to his arms. "I missed you Dad!"
Ramon hugged her. "I missed you too, mija. I brought the dress you told me to buy. You will look beautiful in it. Oh, and I parked your car in front of the house. Here are the keys. I'll take the train back."
"Thank you so much!" Gabby kissed his cheek and let him go. I'll unpack and get ready for Molly's" When she left for Puerto Rico Gabby had decided not to sell her car but to give it to her father until she would return.
"Are you sure it's a good idea?" Ramon asked his daughter. "It has been a long time, maybe you should have called? Did you tell Matt?"
"No, I haven't. We talked on the phone this morning but … I don't know…he was weird. Like he wanted to hear something from me but I don't know what?"
"Don't worry, mija. I'm sure he'll be happy you're back in Chicago. Everyone will be. I'm sure they missed you too. Now go and get ready for tonight. We'll talk later this week, okay?"
"Okay. Bye, love you Dad." Gabby hugged him one last time.
"Bye Gabby" He opened the front door and turned around. "Bye Izzy" He yelled.
"See you later, Mr. Dawson" Izzy yelled back from the living room. Ramon had visited them several times in Puerto Rico and she really liked him. He was a little bit crazy like his daughter but also very loyal and kind. The door closed and Gabby went back into the living room where Izzy was waiting on the grey leather couch with the garment bag next to her. "I'll start getting ready for tonight now and unpack later."
"Of course," Izzy shoot her a look. "You aren't hoping to get laid, are you?"
"What?! No! Of course not!" Gabby rambled. "Why would you think that?"
"Oh, I don't know, maybe I peeked into this bag?" Izzy tapped on the bag. "And there's one hell of a dress in it. Smoking hot. So, stop acting all innocent, like you weren't planning on showing your Ex what he's been missing out on."
Gabby blushed. "No, that's not the plan. Well… maybe…" Izyy raised an eyebrow. "Okay you win, I bought a sexy dress for my self-confidence but I don't plan on getting laid tonight, I mean if somebody wanted to…."
"You wouldn't stop him?" Her friend laughed. "That's my girl. Now go get all dolled up but make it subtle."
Gabby took the garment bag with the dress and walked into her bedroom. It was a nice room with hardwood floor, a queen-size bed and a small walk-in closet at the other end of the room next to the adjoining bathroom. She took her suitcases, Izzy had brought in earlier, and opened one of them. Getting unpacked later was a bad idea she realized. She needed some stuff from her suitcase. Luckily, she didn't take much stuff with her to Puerto Rico, so she got the job done in half an hour. Afterwards she got undressed, grabbed a towel from the dresser Izzy's sister had bought and took a shower. The bathroom wasn't very big but it had a nice shower and even a bathtub, which would come in handy after a long shift. Gabby stepped into the shower and turned on the water. It didn't take long before it had the right temperature. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the hot water cascading down her body. Deciding it was better to be safe than sorry she shaved her legs and used the expensive shampoo to wash her hair. A look on her watch next to the sink after her shower, told her she still had an hour and a half before they needed to leave. She walked back into her bedroom and opened the garment bag. Inside was a short dark red neckholder dress. There was no way she could wear a bra under it, so she decided to skip it. The dress was tight but not too tight, it hugged her curves perfectly and to make the outfit more causal she reached for her black leather jacket. Perfect. 90 Minutes later she walked back into the living room.
"Iz? You ready?"
"Yes, I am." The other bedroom door in the hallway opened and Izzy walked out, wearing a navy dress with a denim jacket and black heels.
"Sexy" Gabby winked at her . "Looks like I'm not the only desperate one here, huh?"
"You know what they say: Take every chance you get! But you're one to talk. Wow! Just Wow! You, my girl, look smoking hot. That body in that dress with those killer black heels will be the death of every guy in that bar."
Gabby shrugged. "If you say so. Come on, let's go!"
"Are we taking the car?" Izzy wondered.
"Yes" Gabby grabbed her keys. "It's easier and I won't drink anyway."
"You sure?"
"Yes, I am, Chief Hatcher will call first thing tomorrow morning and I don't want to sound hungover, plus I have to run some errands and go to headquarters."
"Probably the right decision. No drinks for us tonight."
"No, and now let's go!" Gabby pushed Izzy out of the apartment. "Hey! I was about to leave!" She protested. "It's not my fault you can't wait to see everybody."
They walked down the stairs and left the building. The car was parked right in front of it, like Ramon had told Gabby. She unlocked it and they got in. "Nice car!" Izzy commented on the black SUV. "Do they pay you more than the average paramedic salary?"
"No" Gabby took a deep breath and started the car. "Matt bought it for me after my old car broke down."
"Well that explains it. Captain's salary must be nice!" "I don't know, we never splurged. Except for this car. He insisted on buying it. Told me how important it was to have a safe and reliable car."
"You deserve it." Izzy looked at her while she was driving. Gabby waited a few seconds before she answered. "That's what he said."
A few minutes later Gabby pulled into a free parking spot. "Let's go" They got out and she locked the car. Her heart started pounding into her chest and her hands were a little bit sweaty. When she was almost there, the door of the bar opened and Sylvie Brett walked out. She looked sad. Gabby was about to say something when the door opened again and Matt walked out with a desperate expression on his face. Gabby grabbed Izzy's arm and they stopped. Sylvie and Matt couldn't see them behind the parked Ford truck. But Gabby sure as hell could hear them.
"Sylvie wait" Matt grabbed her arm. "No, I'll go home, I'm tired it was a long day."
"Look" Matt scratched his head. Not a good sign. He was unsure. But why? "After the ceremony today, I had a great conversation with Gabby" Okay, he must've had a different conversation with her because the one they had wasn't above average.
"That's great." Sylvie looked like it was anything but great. "I'm happy for you"
Matt shook his head and was he almost crying? What was happening here? "No, that's not what I meant. The conversation was great because it just made clear what I already knew. Gabby and I will always care about each other- there's too much history not to, but I'm not in love with her. I haven't been in a long time. Gabby is my past, and you.. I'm in love with you Sylvie - nobody else. And even if that doesn't change anything for you, I needed you to know it." And then he walked away. Back into the bar. And Sylvie was standing on the street, with a suspicious little smile on her face. Same couldn't be said for Gabby though. Her whole body was shaking. She reached for Izzy's arm, who immediately hugged her. "Not here, Gabby. Not in front of her. Let's go. Come on, give me your keys." With shaking hands Gabby handed her the keys, tears streaming down her face. "Hurry, let's go before she sees us." Izzy dragged poor Gabby back into the car. She placed her on the passenger seat, fastened her seatbelt and got in on the driver's side, starting the car and driving home, while Gabby did not say a word. She just sat there. Shaking. Tears streaming down her face. She looked like her entire world just imploded around her and maybe that was the truth. Maybe it had. She felt like somebody, no Matt, like Matt just ripped her heart out of her chest and stomped on it. She knew that technically they were divorced, that she didn't have a claim on him. But that used to be her best friend he was saying those words to. Her ex-husband and her best friend. That little smile on her face, was she in love with him too? It sure looked like it. How could she? How could she do something like that and how could he? He had never cared much for Brett. How the hell did this happen? Why couldn't he have chosen any other woman. It would have hurt too but not as much as this. This was like the worst nightmare. Gabby didn't notice Izzy stopping the car and turning it off in front of their building. She lifted her head when Izzy opened the passenger door. Her face was wet, tears still streaming down her cheeks but she didn't say a word. She didn't sob. She still held it together as much as she could. "Come on, sweetheart." Izzy reached for her arm and helped her out of the car. "Let's get you inside." They made their way up the stairs and into the apartment. "Go get changed if you want?" Gabby nodded. Mechanically she walked into her room and changed into sweats and an old CFD shirt. The dress ended up on the floor, crumbled. "Gabby? Come back in here!" Izzy called. She did. She walked back into the living room. Izzy was waiting for her with a bottle of vodka and two glasses. "Well I guess it's safe to say that it didn't go as planned?" She asked. Gabby nodded and sat down next to her. "How are you feeling?"
How was she feeling? How does it feel when you're watching your ex-husband ,who you never really fell out of love with, declaring his undying love to your best friend? How did that feel? "I…I…it hurts." And that was when Gabby finally broke down. She started sobbing uncontrollably, her whole body was shaking and Izzy was afraid she might hyperventilate. She took her broken friend into her arms. "I'm so sorry for you, Gabby." She stroked her hair. "I can't imagine what this must feel like." "It hurts so much" Gabby managed to say between sobs. "I…I knew…he was…that he might be…moving on… but….but…not…not…"
"Not with your so-called best friend?" Gabby nodded. "Yeah that's a shitty move. You need a drink?" Izzy reached for the vodka bottle. "This is the good vodka, for those special occasions you want to forget immediately. you won't have a headache tomorrow." She opened the bottle and poured them two glasses. Giving one to Gabby she raised hers "To your shitty ex-husband and that backstabbing little bitchy snake of a bff, may they rot in hell." Gabby raised her glass too and downed the vodka. "Thanks for being here for me."
"Are you kidding? You put me back together after I arrived in Puerto Rico. I was a mess."
"Yeah" Gabby swallowed. "How did you get over it?" "How did I get over my husband cheating on me with his secretary? I didn't." Izzy shrugged. "I buried those feelings I guess, because I had no other choice and one day I realized I wasn't hung up on him anymore but if you asked me if I was still in love with him… that question would be difficult to answer. I actually don't know. I haven't seen him in a while. I guess you can only be sure if you actually see the person again. But that's enough of my sad story. Feel like you need another one?" Gabby nodded and Izzy refilled their glasses. "You ready to talk now?" "Yeah… I guess…but I don't know how long I'll hold it together." Gabby shrugged. "I still can't believe what we had to witness." "Neither can I but you have to admit we don't know the whole story." "What else is there to know?" Gabby took another swig of vodka. "He told her he's in love with her and from the look on her face I could tell she's in love with him too. End of story." Another swig of Vodka.
"But don't you think it is odd that he left her standing there? I mean they didn't kiss or …."
"Stop it!" Gabby yelled refilling her glass once more. "I don't even want to think of it." Her eyes were full of tears again. "I just want to forget it but I know I can't. I will never forget how I watched the man I'm still in love with declaring his undying love to the woman I called my friend. It's…. I…..It just hurts so much! How could they do this to me?" She started crying again. "Why didn't they talk to me? Hell, why didn't she talk to me? I thought there was such a thing as girl code, you know, and don't tell me she didn't say anything. I know Sylvie Brett and I saw that look on her face. She is in love with him." "There is such a thing as girl code, Gabby and if what you're saying is true and she actually is in love with him. she violated it big time. There's no excuse for that and don't get me started on him." "I can't believe the two persons who I thought would never hurt me like that actually…" Gabby couldn't end her sentence. She sobbed violently and once more Izzy took her in her arms. "I know. It's okay. I know it hurts like hell. Do you still want to work the day after tomorrow?" Gabby nodded. "Okay, let's go to bed." "Can you… I mean… will you…I know it's childish but…"
"Yeah of course I'll stay with you, Gabs. Hell, you took care of my crying ass ten nights in a row. I'll manage one. " Gabby laughed through her tears. "True. Thanks." They walked into their respective bathrooms and after brushing her teeth and getting changed Izzy joined Gabby in her room. She was lying in bed, still crying and Izzy's heart broke for her friend. Gabriela Dawson was one of the toughest, most single-minded women she had ever met and she didn't deserve the way those people disrespected her. She lifted the sheets and laid down next to Gabby. Carefully she reached out and hugged her. "Try to get some sleep"
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The next morning Gabby opened her eyes and reached for her phone on the nightstand. It was 7:30am and she felt horrible. She wasn't hungover but she felt emotionally drained. Groaning she got up and walked into her bathroom to take a quick shower. She got dressed in some yoga pants and reached for a sweatshirt in her closet. It was one of her favorites, a dark red one with a V-neck. The delicious aroma of coffee filled her room since it was next to the kitchen. Izzy must have gotten up early. Gabby opened her door and walked into the kitchen where Izzy was busy making pancakes. "Morning not so much sleeping beauty."
"Morning. I'm sorry I kept you awake half of the night." "Stop apologizing, Gabby. I got more than enough sleep and this whole mess it not your fault. Sit down and have some pancakes and a cup of coffee." "Yes ma'am." "That's my girl"
After breakfast Gabby changed into Jeans and a nice blouse. She didn't feel like it but she had to run some errands before going back to work tomorrow. Wondering why Chief Hatcher hadn't called yet she looked at her phone and saw one missed call from Chief Boden. She pressed the call button and the Chief picked up immediately.
"Gabriela Dawson what an honor to have you back in this city."
"Hi Chief, thank you. How do you already know?" Gabby was curious. Did Matt know too?
"I talked to Chief Hatcher this morning because I'm in need of a paramedic. Mikami fell and broke her ankle. She won't be able to work for the next six weeks."
"Oh no, I hope she'll get better soon. What can I do for you Chief?" She hoped it wasn't what she thought it was.
"What would you say if I asked you to come back to 51 for the next six weeks?"
"Can I take some time to think about it? Does anyone else know you called me?"
"No, of course not. I wanted to ask you first. But let me tell you that everyone will be very happy." Gabby wasn't so sure of that and she didn't feel like working at 51 again but she also didn't want to tell Boden the reason. "Can I call you back in …." She interrupted herself. "Sorry Chief, there's no reason to drag this out any longer. I don't want to come back to 51. I'm sorry but I can't."
"Is everything okay, Dawson? Did something happen? You sound strange." Gabby took a deep breath, trying to keep it together. "I don't want to talk about it, Chief. Can you respect that?" "Of course, Dawson. But let me know if you need anything okay? Don't worry, I'll find another paramedic. Chief Hatcher actually gave me two numbers. I'll call this Isabella McCarthy, but you were my first choice.""She's my friend. I live with her and she's home, do you want to talk to her?" "Yeah thanks, Dawson. It's good to have you back in Chicago. I'll talk to Donna, we'll have dinner soon, okay?" Gabby didn't have the heart to say no to him. "Of course, Chief. I look forward to it." She walked into the living room where Izzy was busy watering the plants her sister had got them. She held her phone out. "Chief Boden wants to talk to you" Izzy took the phone and talked about the details of the job with the Chief, while Gabby sat down on the couch and buried her face in her hands. Of all the freaking firehouses in the city it had to be 51 who needed a paramedic. Great. Just great. What did she do to deserve this? "Nothing. You did nothing. And yes, you did say that out loud." Izzy gave her phone back. "Guess I'll report to Firehouse 51 first thing tomorrow. Chief Boden sounds like a great guy." "He is. 51 is… was…my home…those people… they…they are like family to me and….now…" She didn't finish the sentence. Violent sobs made her whole body shaking like a leaf. Izzy sighed and stroked Gabby's back. She would have a hard time working at 51 with that bitch that hurt her friend but she didn't have a choice. She could really use the money and 51 had a great reputation after all. Maybe the rest of them weren't backstabbing bastards. "Are you sure you're okay with me working there for the next six weeks?" "Yeah" She managed to say. "It…it's…okay." "What do I say if they ask me what I did those last two and a half years?" "The truth" "Okay and what do I say if they ask me about you?" Gabby shrugged. "Whatever…you're…comfortable with." "Are you comfortable with it if I tell the truth?" "I …yeah." "Good. Do you want me to drive you or…?" "No, it's okay" Gabby dried her eyes and face with the sleeve of her blouse. "I'm fine." Izzy chuckled humorless. "Uh huh, I can see that. You sure?" Gabby nodded. "I'll run some errands and have lunch with my dad. See you later." She got up, grabbed her wallet and keys and walked out of the apartment. Leaving a confused Izzy behind. Well, next shift would be interesting.
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"Are you sure you're fine with dropping me off at 51" Izzy asked Gabby for the second time this morning. " I could take the train and walk the rest." "Nah, it's okay. I'll drop you off and pick you up tomorrow after shift. It's no big deal." "If you say so" Izzy reached for the coffee and poured some into her travel mug. "You ready to go?" "Yep" Gabby took her duffel bag from the kitchen counter. "Firehouse 102 here I come. Can't wait to see my old friend lieutenant Welch again." She rolled her eyes. "Are you really okay? You can always call in sick." "No, it's too late for that now and I promise I'll be careful okay? I need to work, I need the distraction or I'll become insane and we don't want that." "I agree." Izzy reached for her bag on the stool next to her. "Let's go." They didn't speak much on the drive to 51. Gabby stopped the car in safe distance from the firehouse. "See you tomorrow after shift. Same spot?" "Same spot" Izzy agreed. "Take care and call me if you need me, okay?" "Will do. See you tomorrow" Izzy closed the passenger door and walked down the street to Firehouse 51. The doors of the apparatus floor were open and some guys were watching her. The best looking one of them approached her. "Hey, are you the new paramedic? McCarthy?" "Yes, as I live and breathe. And you are?" "Kelly Severide, lieutenant of squad 3" Of course the hunk was a squad guy. "And those knuckleheads over there are Cruz, Capp and Ferraris." "Nice to meet you all." "Are you looking for Brett?" Cruz asked and Izzy shook her head. "Actually, Chief Boden asked me to come to his office first." Capp jumped out of his seat before anyone could do something. "I'll show you the way" "That's very nice of you thanks." Izzy smiled at him. "Yes Capp" Ferraris rolled his eyes. "So nice of you" They laughed and Izzy and Capp walked through the doors into the firehouse. "Brett will show you around later." He promised. "She's not here yet. Chief's office is this way." They walked down a corridor into the bullpen and Capp pointed to a door at the end. "Over there" "Thank you" Izzy walked to the closed door and knocked. "Come in" Chief Boden hollered and she opened the door. "You must be McCarthy. Our paramedic for the next six weeks?" "Yes, Chief." "Great. Have a seat. He pointed to one of the chairs in front of his desk. Izzy obeyed and looked at him. "What can I do for you, Chief?" "I like to get to know new people before roll call. Dawson already told me you're a close friend of hers that means you must be special." Izzy raised her eyebrows. "Really?" Chief Boden nodded. "The Gabriela Dawson seal of approval means a lot here at 51. We all miss her dearly." She almost snorted. "I can imagine. She's a great paramedic and firefighter and an even better friend." "So how long have you known Dawson?" "For two and a half years. We went to Puerto Rico together." Boden seemed lost in his thoughts for a moment. "So, you know her history?" "Yes, Chief. I know everything. Probably more than anyone here except for…" "Casey" Boden finished her sentence. "Yes, except for him. Why are you asking me all this, Chief?" "I just want to make sure you feel comfortable here at 51, when I talked to Dawson yesterday she seemed off. Did something happen? "Yes, Chief but you should ask Dawson if you want to know the details, I'm not much into gossip." Chief laughed. "That sounds good to me. I'll give Dawson a call tomorrow. Where did she end up?" "Firehouse 102 but she told me not to worry, so I decided not to worry." "Sounds like her. I miss her." He admitted. "I can imagine." Before anyone could say something there was a knock on the door. "Come in" Boden waved and the door opened. Izzy turned around. "Casey, this is our new paramedic Isabella McCarthy, McCarthy, this is Captain Casey." Izzy looked at the guy in front of her and decided not to hate him before she knew the whole story. "Nice to meet you, Captain." Casey gave her a nod. "Nice to meet you too. Have you talked to your PIC yet?" Izzy shook her head. "No, I haven't had the chance yet, Chief wanted to talk to me first. I'll go and look for her." "She's in the common room." "Thank you." She left the office. Capp was waiting for her in the bullpen. "You were here all the time?" She wondered. "No, I had to make some copies and saw you coming out of Chief's office. I'll take you to Brett." He seemed really nice. Maybe this place wasn't as bad as she thought it was. Gabby used to call them her family after all. In the common room he introduced her to the rest of Truck 81 and her PIC Sylvie Brett. Izzy had a hard time putting a nice smile on her face. "Nice to meet you" Brett gave her a smile. "I'll show you everything. Come on." She gave her a tour of the firehouse and showed her everything that was there to know about Ambo 61. "So, for how long have you been a floater?" "Since today." "How come?" Izzy had promised Gabby to tell the truth, so she would tell the truth. "I worked in Puerto Rico for the last two and a half years. I lead a rescue unit together with a friend. She was in charge of the paramedics, I was in charge of the firefighters." "You're a firefighter?" "Yes, paramedic/firefighter." "Wow, consider me impressed." Brett chuckled. "I'm just a plain old paramedic." "It's a great job." Izzy decided to give the woman a chance. She didn't say anything to that lovesick Captain last night after all. "This place seems nice." "51 is the best place in the world." Brett seemed to mean it. Before Izzy could ask more it was time for roll call. She learned that the hot squad lieutenant was engaged to Stella Kidd of Truck 81. Seemed like 51 really was a family or maybe a brothel but now was not the time to judge. She noticed some weird energy between the Captain and the PIC. Interesting. They didn't seem all lovey dovey. More like extremely awkward. She watched them leaving the room, they obviously wanted to talk but the bells went off. First call of the day. It was a motorcycle accident. Izzy got out of the ambo and ran to the victim who was trapped under his bike. Casey and some guys from Truck got it off him and she waited for Brett to give her orders but they never came. Instead she rambled some nonsense. Casey grabbed her arm. "Brett, forget about everything else, focus." It worked. They got the guy off the street and onto the stretcher. He had some major injuries to his chest and lost some of his teeth but otherwise it looked good for him. "He was lucky." Izzy shook her head. "That's the reason why people shouldn't drive these things." " I agree." Sylvie closed the doors and they started working on the patient. "Is he stable?" She asked Izzy who took a look at the monitor. "Yes, we're good to go." "Brett got into the driver's seat and drove them to the nearest hospital while Izzy made sure he didn't get worse. Half an hour later she had filled out the accident report and was ready to leave the hospital but Brett was nowhere in sight. She found her in a supply closet. "What are you doing here? We're good to go. You just need to sign it." She waved the accident report in front of Brett who grabbed and signed it. "Great. Let's go." They walked back to the ambo and Brett got behind the wheel. "I have to run an errand before we get back." Izzy decided to make a bold move. "No, you don't have to run an errand you don't want to get back to the firehouse, because you don't want to talk to the Captain." Brett faded. "How do you know?" "There was this weird energy between you this morning. I noticed it." Izzy shrugged. "And at the accident site you didn't act very professional when he was next to you." "Yeah you're right, I'm sorry for that." "It's okay, it wasn't a life or death situation. But what is going on between you and Casey?" "That's a long story." "I have time." Izzy decided it would be best to listen to Brett's side of the story. "And I've seen weirder situations." "Really?" "No, I just said that to make you feel comfortable."
Brett laughed. "Thank you. There's a Starbucks over there. Want to get a coffee? You will need it" "Sounds great." Brett pulled into the parking lot and they got out if the ambo to get some coffee. They took their cups back to the ambo and sat down in the back. Izzy looked at Brett. "Okay, Sylvie Brett, spill the beans." "It's complicated." Brett looked down. "He used to be married to my best friend and when she left we got to know each other better and at first I didn't think he felt the same but now…" Holy shit, that woman was in love with the ex-husband of her bff. Gabby had been right. "…now I don't think so anymore." Suddenly Brett stopped talking and looked at her. "You said you've worked in Puerto Rico?" Izzy nodded. "Do you happen to know a Gabriela Dawson." She nodded again. "Yes, I do. We worked together." "It was her." Izzy decided it was time to tell the truth. "I know, Sylvie." Brett was visibly shocked. "Oh my God. You know her? Do you know their story?" "Yeah probably more of it than you do unless Casey told you." Brett shook her head. "Look, I'm sorry, I should've said something sooner but it's my first day and I didn't want to make a bad impression and…" "It's okay. Maybe it's a good thing I told you." Izzy wasn't so sure about that. "I have been in love with him for a long time now. About 18 months and every time I asked him about Gabby he couldn't give me a straight answer so I decided it would be better to be just friends. Then two days ago Gabby called and I was so jealous, because he seemed so happy about her call. Well…stuff happened and to make a long story short: That night he told me he was in love with me and not Gabby and that felt like a dream coming true and I think I really deserve some happiness, don't I?" Brett looked at Izzy. "Well, yeah. I'm sure you do. But are you sure about this? I mean that's a messed-up situation you got yourself into. Have you at least tried to talk to Gabby?" This situation was definitely weird. What was wrong with this chick? Before Izzy could get an answer to that question they got a call. Some old weirdo couple. Their house was full of the ugliest dolls Izzy had ever seen but Brett seemed to like them. The woman was very nice and concerned about her husband. She told them their story. Apparently they met at some creepy doll exhibition. "When I saw him, I knew he was the one." The old lady said with tears in her eyes while they worked on the patient. "When you know, you know." Izzy almost rolled her eyes at the old lady but Brett seemed to like the story. They packed it up and drove the old man to the hospital. "That was weird." Izzy said to Sylvie while they were driving back to the firehouse. "All those creepy dolls and that bullshit about love at first sight." "I think it was cute." "Really? Love at first sight? If that was true… well….I don't need to finish this sentence, do I?" "No" "Great." Brett pulled into the firehouse and parked the ambo it was late and everything was dark. Izzy yawned. "You didn't answer my question earlier. Have you tried to talk to Gabby about your situation?" "No, she left and we never really talked anymore. I know it sounds weird but I don't think I owe her an explanation." "Oh, I think you do, but I'm not the one to judge here. I'll try to get some sleep, what about you?" She decided to stop talking to Brett or otherwise she might rip her stupid head off. She didn't get why Gabby used to call this woman her best friend. "Sounds like a great idea." They walked into the dark firehouse and into the bunk room. Izzy had gotten the one next to Brett. She was asleep before her head made contact with the pillow but a few hours later she was woken by a noise. Her phone vibrated on the nightstand. She looked at the caller ID and got up. "Hey Gabby" Izzy tried make no noise while walking into the common room. "Hey, I'm sorry have you been asleep?" "Yes, but it's okay. How are you?" She sat down on the couch. "I've been better. We had one hell of a day and our last call was pretty intense so Chief sent us home." "Oh no. Do you want to talk about it?" "It was a gang fight and I almost got shot." "Oh my God, are you okay? I can come home if you want, I'll ask for permission." "Actually, I'm outside but I didn't have it in me to come inside. Cruz is on night watch and he's sitting next to the doors, talking to someone on the phone." Izzy looked up and saw Cruz walking back into the common room. He raised an eyebrow and she gestured to her phone and got up while he took a seat on the couch. She walked outside and saw Gabby standing on the apron. She looked lost. Izzy ended the call and opened her arms. "Come here" She hugged her friend. "What are you doing here in the middle of the night?" "I couldn't sleep and I needed to talk to you." "You could've called." "Well technically, I did." Gabby looked at the firehouse. "Feels strange to be back." "Yeah, I get it. But it seems to be a great place with good people in it. Well, except for two of them maybe." "Did you talk to Brett?" "Yes, I did but this is not the right place to talk about all that. We should really do that at home." Gabby looked down. "Yeah' you're probably right. Do you need to go back inside?" Izzy laughed. "To do what? Listen to Capp sawing logs?" "Is it still that bad?" "It's worse. Come, let's sit down somewhere. How about the back of the Ambo?" "Sounds like old times." Gabby agreed and they walked back to the apparatus floor. It was a nice night and they could see the skyline from their place. "Okay, truth time." Izzy looked at Gabby. "How are you feeling?" "Like crap. I had one hell of a shift, got almost shot at and I had to listen to that nice little speech two days ago, but I don't want to talk about it. I just want to sit here." "Okay, I get it." For a few minutes they didn't talk and just enjoyed the company and the nice view at the Chicago skyline. Suddenly there was a noise behind them. Izzy turned around and saw the doors open and Casey walking outside. Great. Gabby tensed next to her and she took her in her arms. "What the hell is he doing here?" Izzy whispered. "Are you okay?" "Yeah I just don't want him to see me." Gabby whispered back. They stayed completely still but Casey didn't seem to notice them anyways. He was standing in front of the firehouse, looking at the skyline and he seemed sad and lost. Gabby almost got up to talk to him when the doors opened again and Brett came out. Great. Just great. She approached Casey.
"We belong together" Gabby's expression hardened. Casey looked at Brett. " We do" Holy shit, those two really had no morals. Izzy squeezed Gabby's arm. What was it about them confessing their love for each other in front of Gabby? A bad joke? Brett opened her mouth again. "We're right for each other." "We are." Gabby started shaking next to her. "When you know. you know" She didn't just use that sentence. Izzy cringed. These two were neither right for each other nor did they belong together. What were they thinking? Were they thinking at all? "You do" Casey answered Brett and Izzy had a hard time not to get up and punch him. "I'm in love with you…" Brett started to say but got interrupted by Casey taking her face into his hands and kissing her. Gabby had stopped shaking and Izzy was pretty sure she had also stopped breathing. There was this broken expression on her face and her eyes were full of tears but otherwise she seemed lifeless. Izzy was concerned for her friend and decided to ignore the kissing idiots in front of them. "Let's get out of here" She whispered. "We'll sneak out on the other side, they won't notice." But before she could do anything Gabby got up and started clapping. Brett and Casey turned around and looked flabbergasted. "Congratulations." She looked at them and grinned. "I could say I'm happy for you but we all know that would be a lie. So, I guess I'll just leave then." "Gabby, I…" Casey started speaking but Gabby raised her hand. "No, Matt. I don't need an explanation. I heard everything." She took a deep breath and there still was this lifeless look on her face. Sylvie tried to reach for her arm. "Gabby…." "And I certainly don't need to hear anything you have to say." She spat at her. "Like I said, I heard everything I needed to hear. I'll leave you alone now. Have a nice life. Bye." She started to walked away and before Brett or Casey could do anything Izzy ran after her. "Gabby wait, you're in no condition to drive. I'll drive you home and come back to get my things." "Iz, you can't leave without permission. You'll lose your job. I'm fine." "No Gabby!" Izzy yelled. She didn't care if Brett and Casey, who were still standing in front of the apparatus floor, could hear her. "You are not fine and that's okay. You're barely keeping it together. I won't let you drive home in this condition. Give me your keys, I'll drive!" "You can't leave" Gabby insisted. "They'll fire you!" "I don't care!" Izzy was desperate. Under no circumstances was she going to let Gabby drive a car. "I'll drive her." A deep voice behind them said. Chief Boden reached for the keys in Gabby's hand and gave them to Izzy. "You might need those to drive home after shift. I'll take her in my car." He put an arm around Gabby. "Come on, Dawson, let's get you home." Boden took her to his car and Izzy followed them. Brett and Casey were still standing on the apron but she ignored them. "Thank you, Chief. It's very nice of you." "It's nothing." He opened the passenger door of his car and helped Gabby inside. "I'll be back as soon as I can. Try to get some sleep, McCarthy." "Yes, Chief." Boden closed the passenger door and walked around the car to the driver's side before he got in he looked at Izzy. "Do I understand that this has something to do with Brett and Casey?" Izzy nodded and Boden groaned. "I had my suspicions. Can we talk after shift?" "Yes of course. Just make sure she gets home safely." "Will do" Boden gave her a nod and Izzy walked back into the firehouse. She really didn't want to talk to Brett or Casey, so she laid down on her bunk and closed her eyes. A few minutes later she heard them coming back and walking into Casey's office. Very subtle. She put her pillow over her head, she really didn't need to hear whatever they were saying or doing.
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"I know you're not asleep" Brett sat down on the bunk next to her. "You're a genius." Izzy opened her eyes. "I'm not talking to you." She got up and walked into the bathroom but Brett followed her. "Listen Susi, I really don't want to talk about what happened last night, okay? Because if I start talking about it, I will say some not so nice things that will cost me my job. So please leave me alone and go back to your lover boy." "My name is Sylvie and you know that" Izzy had really tried to be nice but she couldn't do it anymore. "Yeah whatever Sally, go away!" She stepped into a stall and took a quick shower before getting dressed in her private clothes. When she turned around to leave, Casey came into the room with a grim expression on his face. Ignoring him she took the other way out and started walking to Boden's office when a hand on her shoulder stopped her. "We need to talk" Izzy looked at the Captain. "No, we don't. I don't want to hear what you have to say and now take your hand off my shoulder and let me go." He did as he was told. "What the hell was Gabby doing here last night and how do you know her? Did you call her?" Izzy chuckled humorlessly. "Gabby is my friend, we worked together in Puerto Rico and came back to Chicago two days ago. Boden called and offered her the spot on Ambo 61 but she didn't want to take it. So, he asked me. Last night Gabby called because they had a tough call and their Chief sent them home but she couldn't sleep. She almost got shot and was very rattled. She needed a friend and decided to come here to talk to me, so we talked on the apparatus floor and I don't need to tell you what happened afterwards, do I?" "No" The guy actually had the nerve to look sad. Before he could say anything else Boden looked out of his office and told them to come in. Brett was already sitting on the small couch in the corner. "Please sit down." Izzy took one of the chairs and Boden sat down next to Brett on the couch while Casey took the other chair. Boden looked at Izzy. "I guess things didn't go as planned, huh?" "I guess that's safe to say" Izzy shrugged. "And I guess I don't need to say that I can't work here anymore?" Boden looked surprised. "Why not?" "I don't trust these people." She pointed at Brett and Casey. "And in this line of work it's not a good thing to work with people you don't trust." Brett snorted. "Do you have anything to say?" Boden asked. "Actually yes. I think it's a good idea for her to work at another firehouse. I don't trust her either. She let me tell her a lot about my life and she used it against me." "How did she use it against you?" Boden wanted to know. "I think she called Gabby to come to the Firehouse and ruin my life." Izzy nearly jumped out of her seat. "Excuse me?! What the hell are you talking about? I didn't use anything against you and I certainly didn't call Gabby to listen to whatever that was last night. Why would I do that to my friend?" "Then what was she doing here? Why was she eavesdropping on our conversation?" "She needed a friend and she wasn't eavesdropping. You two weren't very subtle. It was kind of hard not to listen to your conversation." Izzy shook her head. "You are unbelievable. Not everything is about you, Sylvie Brett. But apparently that's what you're thinking. You know what your problem is? You want what Gabby had and you're jealous of her. You took almost everything from her and you're still threatened by her and you know why? Because deep inside you know you'll never be as good as she is. You are a backstabbing snake, Sylvie Brett. You betrayed your best friend in a way that's unforgivable and I really don't want to work with you ever again." She got up and wanted to leave the room but Casey stopped her. He seemed angry. "You don't talk to her like that, she's your PIC. She deserves some respect and so do I." "No" Izzy spat at him. "You two don't deserve anything and I have no respect for you. Gabby is one of my closest friends and even if nobody at this firehouse seems to care about her anymore, I do. You betrayed her in the worst way possible and what's even worse is that she had to witness it." Izzy pointed at Casey. "She heard your nice little declaration of your undying love for Sylvie in front of the bar and she was devastated. She cried for hours, I've never seen her like that not even when we went to Puerto Rico for the first time. Not even then and you and I both know what happened before she left but Gabby pulled herself together and went to work yesterday. She said she needed the distraction and she came here last night because someone tried to shoot her and she needed to talk to someone. That's what we were doing when you two came outside and we had to listen to the second part of your pathetic declaration of love. You don't get to tell me anything about respect when you stabbed her in the back like that. She was so happy to be back in Chicago until she witnessed her ex-husband telling her so called best friend he was in love with her and on top of it all she had to witness last night too. So, no, I don't have any respect for you and I refuse to work here." She looked at Boden whose expression was unreadable. "I am truly sorry Chief, but I can't work at this place anymore with people I neither trust nor respect. Gabby deserves better than this and so do I." She gestured to Brett and Casey. "You can report me if you want, but in that case I'll make sure to report to headquarters that Captain Casey thinks it's a good idea to sleep with his subordinate." "I won't report anything." Boden said. "I've heard enough. You can go now and please take care of Dawson. I'll tell Chief Hatcher to assign you to a new firehouse." "Thanks, Chief." Izzy walked out of the office and got her things from the locker room before she said goodbye to everyone in the common room. Most of them seemed to be really nice but she couldn't work with that snake of a PIC anymore. Before she could leave the Firehouse Kelly approached her. "Why are you leaving?" Izzy stopped and looked at him. "I think you know the reason. You're Casey's friend and roommate." "Are you jealous?" Izzy snorted. "Are you an idiot, Kelly Severide? No. I'm not jealous. I used to work in Puerto Rico." His eyes widened. "You know Dawson." "Yes, I do." "You know about Brett and Casey." "I wish I didn't." "They're good people, they're right for each other. Dawson left a long time ago." "Really? That's your excuse? You know what, I probably shouldn't tell you this but Gabby and I came back permanently two days ago. She wanted to surprise all of you at Molly's but instead of having a nice night out, we witnessed Casey telling Brett he was in love with her in front of the bar and on top of it all Boden called and asked if she wanted to work here. Of course, she declined. That's how I ended up here. Gabby reported to Firehouse 102 and had one hell of a call last night. She came here to talk to me and again we had to witness Brett and Casey declaring their love for each other. It's like some kind of curse and you know what really sucks? Gabby told me how much you mean to her. That you were on of her closest friends." Izzy shook her head. "You should be ashamed of yourself. All of you. Gabby deserves better friends." She did not care to wait for an answer.
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Gabby considered herself a strong independent woman, who could handle almost every situation. Almost. She didn't know how to handle this one. How did you get over the man you're still in love with telling your friend he's in love with her? How did you get over witnessing what she had witnessed? She had no idea. After Boden took her home and made sure she was safe inside her apartment she broke down on the couch. It felt like someone had ripped her whole body apart. The pain in her chest was unbearable and no matter how hard she cried, no matter how loud she screamed, it didn't go away. She finally got up from the couch and walked into the kitchen where she opened the freezer and took out the half empty vodka bottle. Not bothering to get a glass she put the bottle to her lips and took a swig. The alcohol burned in her throat but it was nothing compared to the pain she already felt. Taking another swig, she walked back to the couch in the living room. This was bad. She didn't know what to do after losing almost everything. Technically she had lost him two and a half years ago but after their last meeting she thought there still was some hope but after he never reacted on her voicemail she should have known better. How long had this thing between Matt and Sylvie going on? Did she want to know? Another swig from the bottle. It was almost half empty now and she started to feel lightheaded. This was good. The alcohol was good, it numbed her so she didn't have to see them kissing every time she closed her eyes. Gabby laughed. Remembering how she once told Brett her Casey was out there somewhere. Never did she dream about her so-called best friend doing this to her. She took another swig and leaned back. Tears were streaming down her cheeks, she grabbed the vodka bottle with her shaky hands and downed the rest of the clear liquid, shutting out the world around her and numbing her pain. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know how to fell out of love with him, because one thing she knew for sure. Whatever that idiot had done, her stupid heart still loved him and it didn't know how to let go. Gabby groaned and tried to get up from the coach to get another drink. With staggering steps, she managed to get to one of the cupboards and reached for another bottle of vodka. Thank God for Izzy's sister who had stocked their kitchen. With the bottle in her hands she slumped down with her back against the counter and opened it. The pain in her chest needed to stop. She couldn't take it anymore. Why the hell did she had to do this? Why did she leave him? Why didn't he fight for her? She didn't have answers for that. Their voices in her head needed to shut up. She took another swig and this time it didn't even burn in her throat. Good. This was good. Finally, she had been able to numb her feelings, to silence the world around her. After drinking almost half of it, the bottle fell from her hands and while it rolled on the ground it spilled the vodka all over the kitchen floor but Gabby didn't notice that. She fell aside, her head hit the ground and everything went black and that's how Izzy found her when she got home.
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Izzy unlocked the door to the apartment and walked in. The place smelled of stale vodka. "Gabby?!" No answer. The living room seemed empty, there was an empty bottle of vodka on the coffee table. "Gabby?!" Still nothing. She made her way through the living room, maybe Gabby was still asleep in her room. When she passed the kitchen counter she saw her. Slumped down in a puddle of alcohol, another empty vodka bottle next to her. Izzy rushed to Gabby's side and shook her. "Gabby?" Can you hear me?" No answer, no reaction. She reached for her neck and checked her pulse. It was barely there. "Gabby?" She tried again, no reflexes. This looked bad, how much did she drink? It looked like at least half of the vodka bottle was on the kitchen floor. Izzy took her phone out of her pocket and dialed 911. She gave them all the details and was told an ambo would be at their place in about 10 minutes. Checking her friend out she sighed in relief when Gabby's pupils reacted to the light of her phone. "Come on, Gabby. Wake up. Don't do this." Still no reaction. The doorbell rang and Izzy made a beeline for it. Chout and Rafferty were waiting on the other side of the door. "Oh, thank God you're here. She's in the kitchen." They walked back into the room where Gabby was still lying on the floor. "I didn't move her in case she hit her head. Her pulse is barely there but her pupils are reactive." Rafferty took a look around while opening her bag. "My guess is alcohol poisoning. What the hell happened? Is that Dawson?" Chout nodded. "Yes." He looked at Izzy, who he had been working with for about 4 years. "McCarthy what the hell happened here?" "That's a long story" Izzy really didn't want to tell. "She was upset last night but promised me she would be fine but apparently that wasn't true. It looks like she had at least one and a half bottles of vodka and I think there's some wine missing too but I'm not sure." "Okay, I'm ready to go" Rafferty connected the iv bag to Gabby's arm and looked at Chout. "Let's get her on the gurney. We'll take her to Lakeshore not to Med, that way not everyone will know immediately what happened." Izzy nodded. "Fine by me. Can I ride with you?" Rafferty nodded. "You're with the CFD, so I guess it's okay." They left the apartment and waited for the elevator. "Can I ask one question?" Izzy nodded. "Yeah, sure." "Who managed to break this woman? She's one of the strongest gals I know. What the hell happened to her?" "A lot in a very short time. I'm sorry I can't tell you the details." Izzy hadn't been lying when she told Boden she didn't like gossip. "It's okay." The elevator arrived and they got in. "Are you two back in Chicago for good?" Chout was curious. "Yeah I guess." When the doors of the elevator opened again Chout and Rafferty rolled the gurney to the ambo and got Gabby in. Izzy was about to climb in too when she noticed someone on the sidewalk next to the ambo. It was Casey. "What the hell are you doing here? How did you get this address?" "It was in your HR file." He pointed at the ambo. "What happened here? Is Gabby alright?" "No, she's not but that's none of your business anymore I guess. Now get out of my way so we can take her to the hospital." She climbed into the ambo and before Casey could do anything she closed the doors. "Let's go" The drive to the hospital only took about 10 minutes. Gabby was rolled into the ER and a nurse told Izzy to wait in the waiting area next to the entrance. She sat down in a brown leather chair and closed her eyes. This was bad. Her experience had taught her that drinking that much was life threatening and the fact that Gabby had been non-responsive the whole time didn't make it better. A few minutes later she heard voices and steps coming her way but she was too tired to open her eyes. Someone sat down in the chair next to her. "How is she? Is she okay?" Izzy opened her eyes. It was Kelly Severide, his fiancée was in the chair next to him and at the other end of the room Casey was talking to a nurse. "What is he doing here?" "He's still listed as her emergency contact." "Great" She rolled her eyes. "I'm sure she can't wait to see him if she wakes up." "What do you mean, if she wakes up?" Stella asked with panic in her voice. "What happened to her?" "Your Captain and his new girlfriend happened to her. If I had to take a guess, I would say she tried to drown her memories in vodka and was very successful. She had almost two bottles." "What?!" Stella shrieked. "Oh my God. Why did she do that?" "Listen, I know it's not your fault but I'm sick and tired of explaining how this hot mess Brett and Casey call love affected Gabby. I'm pretty sure it's obviously that she doesn't take it well, isn't it?" Stella nodded and Severide looked like a beaten puppy dog. "We really were shitty friends." "A fault confessed is half redressed, I guess." Izzy patted his shoulder. "I'm sure she might have it in her to forgive you two but him?" She pointed at Casey who was still talking to the nurse with a desperate expression on his face. "Not so sure." "I called Herrmann. He's like a father to her and I'm sure if someone can get through to her it's him." Stella said. "He'll be here in a few minutes. Have you called her dad?" Izzy nodded. "He'll be here in a few hours." The doors to the ER opened again and Herrmann walked in followed by Boden and everyone else of Truck 81 and Squad 3. "What are y'all doing here?" "We heard that something happened to Dawson and she's family." Herrmann said. "So, what happened?" "Ask your Captain. I'm sick and tired of telling the story. I found her this morning lying in a puddle of vodka on the kitchen floor. That's all I can say."
The nurse approached them and looked at Izzy. "Your friend's heart stopped beating."
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A beeping noise from somewhere far away woke her up. She tried to open her eyes but the eyelids were too heavy. She groaned. Her head felt like it was about to explode. What was that noise? She finally managed to open her eyes. Everything was bright, much too bright. "Where am I?" She mumbled to herself. "At Lakeshore." A voice she didn't recognize answered. "I'm Jennifer, your nurse." "What am I doing here?" "Do you remember anything from yesterday?" She nodded. "I got home and…. well I was very sad and I had a drink but that's all I can remember." The nurse nodded. "You had more than one drink, Ms. Dawson. If I had to guess I would say you had about a bottle of high-proof alcohol. You're lucky a concussion and a very bad hangover is all you got. You could've died if it weren't for your friend. She found you in time and brought you here. It was touch and go for a while but your heart recovered. You'll be fine in a few days." "Izzy? Where is she?" "In the waiting area together with almost everyone from Firehouse 51." Gabby panicked and the heart monitor started beating rapidly. "I don't want to see any of them. Tell them to go home."
"I will do that but you have to calm down." "Okay" Gabby closed her eyes again and took a deep breath. The last thing she needed was more drama. The nurse left and she sighed. This was a messed-up situation. Why did she have to drink this much? It didn't help anyway, she could still remember every little detail of the drama that her life had become lately. "I should've taken something stronger." She mumbled to herself. "Don't even think about it." Gabby turned her head and saw Herrmann standing in the open door. He took two steps and sat down in the chair next to her bed. "Listen to me, Dawson. I don't know all the details but I know what happened and you have every right to be upset and angry." "I really don't want to talk about it." "You don't have to. But you'll listen to me." Herrmann took her hand. "McCarthy told me how you thought everyone at 51 had moved on from you. That's not true. We will always love you and we will always care about you. When Kidd called and told me you were back in Chicago and in the hospital my heart stopped for a second. Gabriela Dawson, you are one of the most important persons in my life. The thought of losing you…" He didn't finish the sentence. "Thank you, Herrmann." Gabby said with teary eyes. "That means a lot to me." "Is…um…is everyone out there?" "Yes" Herrmann nodded. "Everyone except for Brett." "Good" "Listen Gabby, I know you don't want to but I think you really should talk to Casey." Gabby winced. "I know it's hard and I probably shouldn't tell you this but that woman? McCarthy? She's one hell of a friend. She kicked almost all of our asses pretty good. Made some of us realize that actions have consequences." Gabby smiled. "yeah, she's amazing." "That she is. Chief loves her too. I think he wanted her to stay but well… I can understand why she didn't want to. She, Brett and Casey had a bad fight this morning after shift." Gabby shrugged. "Dawson, I think you should really talk to Casey." Her expression hardened. "I don't have anything left to say to him and I don't want to hear his explanation for what happened." "That might be true but you can't leave it this way. I know you still care about him, I can see it in your eyes and he still cares about you too. He's out there, waiting for you to wake up. When they told him, you might not make it, because your heart stopped several times, he lost it. The last time I have seen him like this was when Hallie died and this time it was even worse. Whatever he was telling Brett or maybe even himself, it might not be the truth. You know how he deals with tough situations by not dealing with them." "I know but this time he really took the cake." "I agree but that doesn't change the fact that you two need to talk." "Maybe" "I'll take that as a yes" Herrmann winked. "You're still stubborn as a mule, Dawson, you know that? I'll go and send him your way." Before Herrmann left he turned around and looked her in the eyes. "The fact that he's here and not with Brett already tells me a lot. See you later, Dawson." "No, Herrmann, wait…." But he was already gone. "Great. This is just great." Gabby mumbled to herself. She really didn't want to hear what Matt had to say right now. She needed more time. Time to cope with the situation but then…what would that change? Nothing. She remembered Izzy's words from a few days ago. Maybe she was right, maybe you had to talk to the person and see him before you could tell if you were still in love or not. There was a knock at her door and it opened slowly. Matt's head appeared in the doorframe. "Gabby? Can I come in?" She nodded, unable to speak. "Can we talk?" She nodded again, it was hard to keep it together. Looking at him send a tingle down her spine. She was a hopeless case when it came to this man. Always had been. He sat down in the chair next to her bed and he seemed nervous. His hands were shaking and there were beads of sweat on his forehead. Good. She took a closer look at him, there were some new wrinkles in the corners of his eyes and he seemed tired. "Listen, Gabby" He started. "I know that this situation is pretty messed up." Gabby snorted. "I know what you witnessed and I'm sorry for that. I really am." "Are you sorry it happened or are you sorry I saw it?" "Both." Okay, this should be interesting. "I had a hard time moving on from you, Gabby. I really had and Sylvie and I …. at first we were just friends but then…I don't know I felt like there could be more but every time we talked about it she accused me of still being in love with you." Gabby's eyes widened. "What did you say?" "I said I didn't know and the other time I said nothing. I wanted to be over you so badly. I wanted to move on, because I thought I had lost you forever." "Why did you never reply to my voicemail after the fundraiser?" "I don't know… I was afraid I guess…" "Afraid of what, Matt?" "Afraid that it was only sex for you." Gabby rolled her eyes. "It has never been just the sex with us." "What do you mean?" "You know I came to Chicago to see you again?" He nodded. "After that night, I thought that….that there might still be a chance for us but you never said anything and we barely talked so…" Now it was Matt who looked shocked. "You thought that?" Gabby nodded. "Why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you tell me you were thinking about coming back to Chicago?" "Well technically the ball was in your court but I guess I was afraid you would tell me no. When I called you two days ago the conversation felt odd and I thought that maybe I was too late. Guess I got that one right." Her voice broke and her eyes were teary. "I should've told you, I know that now but…." Suddenly Matt took her hand and she did not pull away. "During that conversation, when I asked you if you were happy, I was waiting for some kind of sign that you might miss me too, that you might want to come back to Chicago but when you told me how happy you were and you sounded happy…I…I thought that it was better for me not to be in love with you anymore." Gabby couldn't believe her eyes. "What do you mean? Are you telling me you told Brett what you told her in front of my old bar and its special front door, because you thought it would help you falling out of love with me?!" "I…yeah" She looked at him and noticed tears in his eyes. Gabby shook her head. "So, you're not in love with Brett?" "Well I thought I was but when I saw you standing there on the apparatus floor….I…I realized that I might not be." "What do you mean?" "After you left Sylvie and I talked and it became clear to me that the situation was more complicated than I thought. Your friend was kicking our asses pretty hard." Gabby smiled. "Yeah she's a great friend. I'm lucky to have her." "I came to your place this morning to talk to you and….when I saw McCarthy next to that ambulance and she told me you were inside…I…I.. panicked. I called Severide and we drove here and…I was still listed as your emergency contact…" "Yeah, I never changed that. Kind of forgot." "They told me you had alcohol poisoning… and your heart….your heart stopped." Tears were streaming down his face. "Gabby, in that moment when the doctor told me your heart had stopped beating and you might not make it, in that moment I realized what a stupid idiot I was. I can't live without you, Gabby. Those last two years… ask Severide…I have been a mess ever since you left. Trying to get over you nearly broke me and I never really got over you. I did everything I could and I tried really hard but I just couldn't. After the phone call when you told me you were happy, I panicked and made one last desperate step to finally move on. I thought if I was telling Sylvie and she would believe me that maybe one day I would believe myself too."
"Matt…that is….that's a pretty messed up situation. You told my former best friend you were in love with her. Have you any idea how much that hurt? I mean imagine I would tell Kelly the same thing? I mean if it weren't for Stella, because she'd definitely kill me. How would that make you feel?" "Terrible" "Exactly. But I have one more question: Why now? Was it really only the phone call?" Matt shook his head. "No. Do you remember Uncle Jake?" "The weird one with the dead wife and the Rolex with her initials? Yeah, I remember him." Gabby was curious. "What about him?" "He died a few months ago and left me the watch."
"Oh of course he did." Gabby tried to smile. "He always loved me, of course he wanted to remind you." Matt looked confused. "What…no…wait…what do you mean?" But Gabby didn't want to answer that question yet. "I'll tell you later. Go on." "Okay, so he left me the Rolex and at first I wanted to sell it but then I couldn't and I also couldn't wrap my head around why he wanted me to have it. His whole life he was hung up on that watch, because it had belonged to his late wife. His true love. He never moved on, he was always lonely. I didn't want to end up like him and that's when I realized he might have left me the watch as a warning sign not to become like him. I thought he wanted me to live. So, after our conversation on the phone and that moment in front of Molly's I remembered the watch and thought that was it. I had to move on or I would end up like him." He looked at Gabby, who had an unreadable expression on her face. "Okay. Let me get this straight. That's what you think the meaning of that watch is? Really Matt?" "What else would it be?" She groaned and shook her head. Not a good idea. "Ow!" "Are you okay? Do you need a doctor?" Matt reached out and almost pressed the call button next to her. "No, I don't need a doctor. I just moved too fast. It's okay. But you got that watch thing wrong." Now he really was confused. "What do you mean? Do you know more about that watch than I do?" "I'm afraid that's correct. Remember when we met him at the dinner at Christie's?" Matt nodded. "He told me about the watch back then and how he gave it to her when she got sick. He said that we should be lucky to have each other, that true love was a very special thing and that we needed to hold onto it, no matter what. I agreed with him and he told me, that the watch was his constant reminder of what true love felt like and one day he wanted you to have it, because it would remind you that true love is always worth fighting for, even if he lost that fight. I just wish he had told you instead of me but I guess he never imagined us getting a divorce." Gabby couldn't believe that Matt had not understood the real meaning of his uncle's watch. Once again, she felt that familiar pain in her chest. Matt on the other side was thunderstruck, how could he be so blind? Now that Gabby told him it was clear as day. "I guess I got that wrong." He buried his face in his hands. "I gave up on us." "Trust me, I know, I witnessed it both times and still hurts like hell. It feels like you ripped my heart out of my chest and stomped on it. You and Sylvie both. Me drinking so much was a desperate attempt to numb that pain." Gabby had a hard time not to cry. "I know I left but it was never about us and you know that, because I told you. It was about me needing to make peace with myself and my body. It was my way of coping with the situation and I know it was cruel to leave you like that. I really do and believe me when I say trying to move on almost broke me too. That's why I came back for the fundraiser, that's why I left you that voicemail and that's why I came back for good. Because I am still and always was in love with you but that doesn't change what you did to me. You hurt me really bad, Matt and the same goes for Sylvie but I don't want to talk about her now. How the hell could you do that to me? I mean there are so many women in Chicago, of all the gals in this town you had to choose my friend? Well, I don't even know if I still consider her a friend." She was crying again and Matt hate the fact that he was the reason she was crying and in this hospital. "Gabby, I can't tell you how sorry I am." He reached out and touched her hand. "I messed up pretty badly and I don't know if you can ever forgive me but I'm really glad all cards are on the table now." "Are they, Matt? Answer me one question: Are you still in love with me?" Matt squeezed her hand. "Yes, and I was an idiot for trying to bury my feelings for you." Gabby seemed thoughtful when she turned her head to look him straight in the eyes. "I agree. But where does this leave us?" "Where do you want this to leave us, Gabby? What can I do to make things right?" "I need to learn to trust you again, Matt. We both know that love was never the problem between the two of us. I thought you would never hurt me like you did but it happened and I will need some time to learn to live with it." He gently stroked her hand. "I understand." "I think we really need to learn to talk about our problems, because this situation had shown me one thing: We suck at communication. Both of us." "I guess that's true." He paused. "Do you think there's still a chance for us?" Gabby took a deep breath she needed to say this carefully. "If you had asked me yesterday, I would've said no chance in hell but now I'm not so sure anymore. I really want there to still be a chance for us." "I want that too." "Okay but you need to do one thing before I will even think of it: end whatever fucked up relationship you have with Sylvie. I might be able to forgive you but I'm not so sure I can forgive her." Matt nodded. "I will do that but I'm sure she'll want to talk to you too." "I don't care what she wants or what she needs, because she sure as hell didn't care about me when she went after you. I don't want to talk to her in the near future. If she needs to ease her guilty conscience she can go and talk to the chaplain. I'm not saying I will never talk to her again but not now." "I get it." Gabby reached out and took his hand in hers. "We will get through this, I know it but it will take time." Matt looked her in the eyes and there was a little smile on his face. "We will." He looked a little bit unsure. "Can I…can I hug you?" Gabby smiled back. "Of course, you can." He took her in his arms and it felt like home. She rested her head on his shoulder. "Promise me never to do something like this to me again." "I promise but you have to promise to never run away from me again."
"I promise."