Chapter 14: Dancing Lessons

"I swear if I get jabbed with one more damn pin, I'm bogging the lot of you!"

Jareth's voice rang out as Sarah approached the entrance to Jareth's office, and the words weren't ones she expected. She covered her mouth with both hands to hold in the giggle that rose immediately to her lips and hovered outside of the door, not ready to go in until she got the compulsion to laugh under control.

She was growing more accustomed to people here making her laugh, and being able to do that without feeling afraid to. She hadn't realized how much of that part of her she'd suppressed, even in her life back home. Those worries about drawing unwanted attention to herself in public, of drawing the wrong kind of attention, of making herself a target.

After she got control of herself, she pushed open the door and found Jareth standing near his desk, swarmed with goblins, one holding a pad of sketches and standing nearby. They appeared to be trying to pin a suit as he stood there and she had to bite her lower lip hard to keep from making his mood worse by giggling at him.

She realized, now, that she had walked into a fitting, and probably should have understood that from his threat to his goblins, but the possibility had escaped her. She'd thought he'd just poofed himself into whatever clothing suited him day to day. After a moment, she realized he'd seen her, and knew he probably knew why she was biting her lip.

"Do not laugh," he warned, his lips pulled into a firm line of annoyance.

"Wasn't gonna," she managed, not sure how she kept the giggle in. When he lifted a disbelieving brow at her, she had to bite her lip harder.

"I'm sure," he said, lips twisting in something resembling a smile. A moment later, he jolted again, and every goblin in the room disappeared leaving them alone in his office. He pushed an impatient hand through his hair, looking annoyed, again. "Bloody idiots."

The words were spoken with a bit of acidity, and he was doing his best to not look at her.

"Did you bog them?" She asked, inclining her head, genuinely curious.

"Of course not. If I'd done that, I'd have to live with the blasted smell of the place in the castle every day. I dropped them near enough that they'll regret pricking me after their warning." He started pulling at pins, frowning at it. "Help me remove this infernal suit, please?"

She gave her head a bemused shake, then stepped towards him, helping him pull the pins, setting strips of fabric that would eventually be a suit aside. "I always thought you just poofed the clothing you wanted into existence," she admitted, stacking each piece neatly on the others.

"That would be a frivolous use of power," he said, lifting a fine eyebrow and huffing a bit. "And pointless in front of other Fae. They'd see right through the glamour and they'd be quite insufferable about it. Fae nobility all wear bespoke, and it always turns into a bit of a competition to see who has the finer taste."

"Oh," she said, and as she removed the last of the fabric, she found little spots of red on the billowing white shirt he wore beneath. She lifted the piece and saw a neat pinhole near the spots. "You're bleeding," she noted with concern.

"That's to be expected," he answered, shrugging as if to brush off her concern. "Goblins and all that."

She considered him for a long moment, biting her lower lip to keep from giggling again. "In that case, I'm not sure if I want them handling my fitting."

"Oh, no, precious. They'd never harm you."

His tone was dismissive, but the endearment startled her. She jerked her eyes to his face, staring at him with wide eyes. He seemed to realize what he'd called her, too, and cleared his throat.

"I apologize, Goblinskin." He didn't look at her as he said that, half-turning away. She took an unsteady breath, thinking for a moment, not sure what words to say. She tried to ignore the way her heart had raced at the intimacy of the word, the affection of it.

"No," she managed once she remembered how to speak. "It's okay. I mean, like you said. We're friends, right?" Her voice was hesitant, and the breaks between words sounded awkward to her. But "precious" sounded like a great deal more than friendly to her, and gave her a curious sort of tremble in her chest near her heart.

When she looked at him, again, there was a complicated sort of look on his face, but mixed in with that, she thought she saw pain. Something in the way his brow furrowed. Realizing that made her heart twist in pain of its own, as if answering his. It made her want to apologize for hurting him, but she didn't want to look too closely at why.

"Jareth -"

He looked at her, and gave her a smile and another shrug, before turning his back to her as he removed the portion of the suit that had already been assembled.

"There's no cause for an apology," he said and the pain she'd seen seemed like a fleeting memory. His voice sounded light with amusement, but she wasn't sure what he thought was funny. "Your friendship is invaluable to me."

So why did the word "friendship" seem to hurt him?

She wasn't brave enough to ask that question, yet. She acknowledged that, and wondered if he realized, which was why said what he did.

"Okay," she said after a moment and she shook the strange, complicated emotions from her mind. Still, for that moment, she felt awkward and uncertain and wondered if she shouldn't leave the room. Before she could, the temptation was removed with a single, decisive sentence.

"Go ahead and have a seat. I'll bring over the day's work."

Jareth recovered faster than she did, she noted. Still, she did as he said, and took her usual seat, twisting her hands into her skirt, still trying to shake off the nerves and uncertainty.

He returned to her side with a stack of paperwork and sat with her. She tried to not continue feeling awkward sitting next to him while they worked through it, stewing in her thoughts. She was so busy trying to keep her focus on the work and OFF of him that she almost didn't hear when he spoke to her after quite some time had passed.

"Magic or dance this afternoon?"

"What?" She asked, looking towards him in surprise when his words registered. He just looked at her with a lifted brow and his lips twisted in some amusement. He looked like he'd already shaken off what he'd said, and thought it was funny that he caught her slightly off guard.

"What did you want to practice this afternoon?"

A blush flooded her face in response to that question and she lowered her eyes from his, staring at the stack of papers, considering how to respond. She worried her lower lip behind the mask hiding her face, before looking towards him. "Wha-what did you want to teach me?"

The smile on his face made her a little nervous, but not uncomfortably so. More like she felt butterflies taking up residence in her stomach.

"While your magic studies are important, I believe that dance has a shorter timetable." He said, after considering her for a long moment. "I think we should practice that, today."

She felt that damnable flutter again, and she gave herself a bit of a shake. The warmth on her face hadn't faded even a bit, either. She wondered for a moment if he wasn't teasing her.

"I - oh…" Embarrassed, she looked at the paperwork that sat in front of her, and she swallowed a nervous giggle. She kept her gaze on the pages, reminding herself that she shouldn't feel like this. He was her friend, even if that was still strange to her. "Okay…"

He was watching her the whole time, she realized after a moment of silence, but when she agreed, he relaxed as if he'd been bracing himself for her to reject the idea. He smiled, but to her it seemed a little sad. She swallowed hard and turned over her own thoughts for a long moment, wondering what to say. When she decided, the words still choked her for a moment.

"I was forced to go to a ball while I was at the Shadow Court," she said, after a long silence between them. "The king there forced me to dance with him. Forced, because you either follow, or you stumble. It was a way to humiliate me into obedience. He demanded that I marry him -" She stopped herself from saying why, not ready to talk about that, to admit who he was. "I'm a little afraid, because of that. But I also -"

She stopped herself, again.

"You also?" He asked, his voice quiet and almost gentle.

She curled her hands into the skirt of her dress, biting her lip and digging deep for her courage before she put the thoughts into words. When she spoke, her voice was whisper soft. "I want to dance with you."

He was silent after she spoke, so she looked at him again, and found he was looking away from her. She noted, however, that the tips of his ears had turned an odd shade of pink. He gave a quiet cough after a moment, and then glanced towards her.

"Well, that's fine, then."

She felt a small smile curve her lips and decided to let their conversation end there, and they resumed their work.

. . .oOo.

Fenris had caught the rumor of the dance lessons and absolutely had to be available for that, if for no other reason than to tease Jareth about it, later. Because Fenris would be there, Olivia would, as well. He'd felt annoyed, at first, when they'd arrived, but she knew too well that having them there would be to his advantage. Even now, the girl calling herself Goblinskin - who he had known as Sarah - trusted Fenris and Olivia. She considered them friends and was at ease in their presence in ways she still wasn't with him. Having them there would help her relax, which he hoped would benefit him in the long run.

She seemed more nervous around him, he noted, and he hated that it still bothered him. The reassurances from Fenris and Olivia that she was healing hardly helped, either. He knew that - he could see the changes from the frightened woman she'd been when she had first arrived. Now, she seemed stronger, less afraid. She still had the nightmares, and sometimes, the panic attacks, but they seemed to be growing less frequent. He was simply growing impatient. He wanted, and she wasn't used to being forced to wait for anything. Fenris had told him anything worth having was worth waiting for. That didn't help his impatience, either.

Still, during the lesson, rather than force Sarah to practice with him, he'd practiced with Olivia, while she practiced with the elf. He made the decision for that with clenched teeth, and ever since, he'd been trying to not glower at his friend out of jealousy. Eventually, Olivia whispered something about him looking like he'd had a drink of Bog Water, and then stepped away, announcing that she wanted to dance with her lover.

The words resulted in a smile from Fenris, as if he knew exactly why she'd said that. The elf stepped away from Sarah and gave her a brief bow before releasing her hand and reaching for Olivia's, mischief in his eyes. Olivia stepped immediately towards him, leaving Sarah and himself standing alone. He extended a hand towards her, wondering if her desire to dance with him would overcome her fear of him.

She approached him with nerves clear in her eyes, and he could feel her hand trembling as she set it on his. He wished that the cause was the same as why he could feel his own pulse quicken from her proximity. He knew that was too much to hope for, however. He guided her other hand to his chest and let his free one come to rest on her waist, trying to ignore the warmth he could feel through the wool dress she wore. As the music started, he turned with her, but it wasn't unlike dancing with a statue. She was tense, and it took several turns before she relaxed against him. She didn't look at his face, however, her gaze fixed on a spot of his shoulder.

He tried to not let that bother him, too.

They turned to the music for several minutes before he threw a thought towards the crystal playing the tune. The tempo changed instantly, and quickened to a much bouncier pace. Her eyes widened and finally lifted to his face.

"Ready?" He asked, giving her a cheeky grin. He didn't wait for her answer. As he whisked her up into a dance that was more suited towards the Goblin Kingdom than a stale Fae party, she gave a surprised gasp. However, she kept step with him, not missing a beat. He gave her a broader grin, noting that she was looking up at him now, and he could see her lips were curved into a smile.

The laugh that left her was unexpected and delighted, and he could hear Fenris and Olivia laughing as well. An odd, and unexpected sense of peace and joy washed over him, too. Several songs like that played, leaving all four of them laughing and breathless. It ended too soon, and another Fae song began playing from the crystal, and with some regret, he eased them back into the previous dance.

She was flushed and winded, now, and breathing heavily, but she was smiling up at him and meeting his gaze, still. Her gaze trapped him as they danced. It wasn't until he noticed that the lighting had softened that he finally lifted his gaze from hers, finding candles illuminating the room, and the windows dark. They were also alone.

Damn. He had been so caught up in her eyes, he hadn't even noticed when his friends had left.

He completed a final turn, and when this song ended, he forced himself to release her. He watched her closely as she realized that they were alone and she jolted with surprise. A blush covered her face and she took a quick step back from him, her eyes wide in surprise. It pleased him, realizing that she was as caught up in his. He didn't have to entirely force the cocky smile that curved his lips as he gave her a smug look and a bow.

"I think, Goblinskin, that your worries about dancing at the party were completely unfounded."

. . .oOo.

Sarah still felt electrified for hours after the dance lessons ended, to the point of tossing and turning in bed, unable to sleep. In the end, she wound up wrapped in a robe, pacing the halls of the castle. On the bright side, it wasn't for the usual reasons that she lost sleep tonight. Still, the knowledge that she was, at very least, attracted to the Goblin King to the point of distraction was a huge concern for her. She also found herself thinking about him more and more often, and that scared her, too. She was very afraid that she was falling in love with him, and that would be bad, because he was a king, and she was just a silly mortal girl.

A silly, broken mortal girl who was lying to him. Had been lying to him since she arrived.

She was increasingly beating herself up over that. Continuing to lie about it was starting to hurt her heart. But she also knew that she was too deep into the lies. At some point, he would learn the truth, and the casual friendship he offered would be gone. She didn't want that. She didn't want to lose the warmth and security and safety that he offered to Goblinskin, when he realized she was actually Sarah.

So, every time she opened her mouth with the intention of telling him, her throat closed and the words got stuck inside of her.

It wasn't fair.

That thought made her snort. She'd already learned that lesson - Jareth had even been the one to teach it to her. Life wasn't fair, she'd learned that five long years ago. This was just another little piece of life. It sucked, and it would hurt, but no worse than -

She almost puked, right there, just the memory of what had happened was enough to have the gorge of sickness rise in her throat. She swallowed hard, pushing a hand against her stomach, as if she could keep it down by sheer force of will, alone. No, she told herself, she didn't want to puke. Hell, she didn't want to remember. But the memory was a part of her, now. Trauma that she had to learn to live with, like Fenris and Olivia had to learn to live with theirs.

It had been months since it had happened, but thinking about it still made her feel sick and scared, small and powerless. How long would it take to push those memories to the back corner of her mind? To be able to thrive in life, the way Fenris and Olivia could? Perhaps that was an unfair comparison. They'd had years - no, centuries - to recover from the trauma, and she was trying to be alright in mere months, without extensive therapy.

She was making strides, and she knew it. She hadn't been sure that she'd be able to bear any man touching her, that it wouldn't leave her feeling sick and afraid. So, she supposed Olivia was right. She was healing. She just wished it didn't take so damn long. If she'd come here any other way, then maybe -

She'd have never gotten the chance to know Jareth as anyone other than the antagonist who took her baby brother.

A heavy sigh escaped her, and a moment later, a muffled chuckle drew her attention. She spun in shock and found forest green eyes looking at her under brilliant white hair. Fenris was standing there, wearing an amused smile.

"What has you up wandering the halls so late?"

"I can't sleep," she admitted, not wanting to explain further, but knowing that he'd press. "Too many thoughts."

Worry flashed in his eyes and he straightened from the wall he'd been leaning on. A furrow settled between his brows. "About before?"

With so few words, he was able to convey the meaning of what he was asking. Because he understood her trauma. Because he had his own.

She swallowed hard, not sure how to answer that. Spying on the guys with Olivia while they were working out was different than admitting to Fenris that she had a crush on his best friend.

"No," she finally answered after a long moment of thought. "It's complicated."

The worry faded, and mischief turned his expression boyish and his smile took on a crooked slant. "Isn't it always?"

That sentence, again, conveyed his understanding of what she'd said, and what she hadn't said. A very unwanted blush colored her face and she looked at him, wide-eyed.

"Only two things make people sigh like that: a person's fears or a person's heart. Hell, often those can be wrapped up into the same thing. I recall having many such sighing fits when I was struggling with my feelings for Olivia. Jareth may be blind, but Olivia and I aren't."

"Did she tell you?" Sarah asked, biting her lower lip.

"Olivia would never break a confidence from a friend. Not even to me." He gave her another grin and shrugged. "Your dance lesson this evening gave it away, I'm afraid. If I'm honest, neither of you seemed like you could tear your eyes off each other. We tried to tell you we were retiring for dinner, but neither of you heard us."

She scoffed at the idea that Jareth had been distracted by her. Her restless energy kept her pacing that length of hallway. "That's ridiculous."

"Is it?" He chuckled, lifting a brow at her.

Of course it was. What he said implied that Jareth had been looking at her the same way she'd found herself looking at him. That had to be impossible. It implied that Jareth could be developing feelings for her - no, not even her. For "Goblinskin", which meant that when he inevitably learned that it was her, everything really would fall apart. She felt her heart twist in pain and grabbed the bodice of her dress as if that would ease the ache there.

Fenris's expression had grown serious by the time she looked at him, again. Like he'd seen the troubled paths her own mind had taken. After a moment, he gestured for her to follow him.

"Come on," he said, and started moving away from her with no doubt that she would.

She took a steadying breath and followed, trying to not think too much. He took her through a maze of corridors until they stopped in front of a small, ordinary looking door. She looked towards him in confusion.

"Jareth asked me to be the one to show this to you," he said, giving her a small smile. "Go on in."

She gave him a perplexed look, but he only gestured towards the door again. So she turned the knob and pushed it open. Inside was a workroom, with sewing machines and bolts of fabric and spools of thread. In the middle of the room was a dressform, which caught her gaze almost instantly. It held the most dazzling dress she'd ever seen in her life.

Soft, chiffon silk had beads sewn on the bodice and skirt, catching the faint light in the room and glittering like stars. The dress itself was the colors of the moon, with full skirts that swept the floor in shimmering layers, The gown had no sleeves, the corseted top bearing laces the same color as the skirts, made of satin ribbon. It was the sort of dress that might be given to a princess or a queen, not to a broken girl like her. But it was also exactly the sort of dress that would make her heart flutter. She took a shaking breath, realizing that Jareth either understood her taste quite well, or had a similar preference. She looked towards the door, to Fenris, desperate for an explanation.

He was leaning at the small doorway, looking at her. There was an understanding sort of smile curving his lips. "He wanted to know if you liked it," Fenris said, after a moment. She turned towards him fully, her heart in her throat, cutting off any and all words she may have had. After a moment, his smile widened. "Given your expression, I think you should tell him how you feel about it, yourself."

. . .oOo.

Jareth was also still up, pacing, feeling the very same sort of electrified feeling that Sarah was, not that he knew that.

He'd retired to bed after a light dinner, but he hadn't been able to clear his head or make himself relax. So, he'd gone to his office and worked on paperwork until that ebbed, but even then, the tension in him kept him from being able to relax or calm himself. His awareness of her had only grown since he'd first noticed it. He'd resigned himself, already, to the way that she could disrupt his routine. He'd given up smoking cigarettes some weeks ago, because they no longer helped him relax like her presence did.

He tried to not let it bother him. It wasn't her fault, she'd been hurt. But perhaps, if he'd attempted to contact her before she'd been dragged here -

He'd have just still been viewed as the villain who took her baby brother. He hated that her trauma had been the thing that put her where she was, but also forced him to develop some damn empathy. The situation was falling as it chose, and there was nothing he could really do to prevent it. All he could try to do was try to be better than he'd been the day before, and hope.

Damned foolish hope.

A tentative knock on his office door caught his attention and he almost snarled when he heard it open before he'd indicated it should. He whirled towards it, and found the girl who occupied his thoughts standing there. That immediately quieted his reaction.

Her mask was in place, as ever, and her hands curled in the skirt of the dress, as if it had taken her effort to open the door in the first place. He looked at her, uncertain why she was here or even what he should say to her.

"Fenris showed me the dress," she finally said, answering the unasked question that hung in the air between them.

That, at least, explained why she was here. He wondered why she'd come in the middle of the night. Had she only just seen it? How had Fenris convinced her to go see it, so late in the evening? Instead of asking any of that, only one question fell from his lips.

"Do you like it?" He asked, feeling the tension in himself, bracing himself against a negative response.

"It's beautiful," she answered him, her voice quiet. Just like that, he relaxed and a smile curved his lips. After a moment, she moved towards him, and it took conscious effort to not reach for her. He hoped that her words meant she liked the dress. But with her, it was often impossible to know for sure.

She stopped in front of him, her beautiful eyes searching his face from behind that damned mask she still insisted on wearing. The questions in them weren't ones he was ready to answer, yet. He wasn't certain she even wanted those answers, because she didn't ask what she needed to get them. She didn't seem keen on saying anything at all, just searched his face for a long time. When she finally spoke, the words hung in the air between them.

"Thank you," she said, and then the sound of her voice was punctuated by the soft press of her lips against his cheek. It was the only contact she had with him at that moment. Before he could recover from his surprise, she fled the room, and the door swung closed behind her.

He stared after her with wide eyes, his hand lifting slowly to cover where her lips had found his skin. The skin still felt hot from the brief contact. A slow smile turned up his own lips, and he kept watching the door she'd left through. That damnable hope was choking him, keeping his feelings buried inside of him.

It was a peck of a kiss, and over before he'd registered it had happened. But she'd kissed him. On the cheek, his logical mind interjected. Nothing worth getting so excited about. But that peck and those words had calmed his racing heart how nothing else had managed that evening. He closed his eyes, the place her lips had touched still warm and tingling, and again, he remembered Olivia and Fenris's words of encouragement that they kept repeating whenever he got impatient.

She is healing.