Alright, my brain is weird, so this sort of diverged from the original idea. It's less Cedfia-centric than I would have hoped, but Roland and Lorelei are here to stay.
I hope you enjoy! Happy Cedfia Week 2021!
Years ago, it was just him and the queen in the tower, just the two of them both together.
The rest of the world could have disappeared, and he would have liked to think that he and Lorelei would have continued on, thinking of nothing and no one else. It was all that he could have asked for, more than he deserved, and really, it was all that had mattered then.
Back then, at least in his memories, it was always summer. Dazzling sunlight had streamed through his windows, bright rays that dyed every surface of his workshop gold. Back then, times were different. The world was different, and he was different. Back then, she could have spilled the Corinthian seawater straight across his spellbook, and he wouldn't have complained, not one bit, not even for one second, because she meant the world to him, and he wouldn't have ever wanted to push her away. She could have told a terrible joke or thrown pine needles in his hair, and he would have laughed along with her. He would have laughed with the awkward laugh that she loved, and she might have teased him about it, but he wouldn't have felt self-conscious, not even a little, because it was her, and he always felt comfortable in her presence.
Realistically though, there had been a voice in his head that said that she had a lot more to do than watch him brew potions all day. He knew that. And that though she was his best friend, he was not hers. He knew that too.
And when she died, his heart ached all the harder for that.
Lorelei's death was what brought the summer to a close. And he knew that it had all just been a pretense. All the moments in each other's company, all the days spent together temporary, just a ruse for the darkness and the harshness of winter that was to come.
Roland was never the same after her death. Friendly comradery turned to harsh insults, exasperation to criticism. Cedric never used to let the occasional comment get to him, but then it became constant, and he was drowning —
It was just him and the king in the castle. It had seemed then that that would be the only thing that would ever matter. If all else disappeared, he would be left with cold disapproval and severe words. He would drown, tangled up in fumbled spells and failed expectations —
He was drowning, and he had thought that power would fix his situation. He can see how he came to that conclusion, but that didn't mean it had the right decision. He would learn, later, that there were some things worth more than power.
Sofia was too much like Lorelei. They had the same smile — genuine, one that dimpled their cheeks, lit up a room. She could be blinding sometimes — when she threw open the door to his workshop, letting gilded light cut through the walls he had built around himself. All glittering gold and insincerity, he had thought at first. He hadn't understood, back then, how a person could trust in him when all he did was make mistake after mistake —
(Accidental showers instead of flowers were not supposed to be praiseworthy. Somehow, it was good enough for her.)
Sofia was unrelenting. Her naive hope in him, her ability to believe, it reminded him too much of a future that could have been, that was now impossible.
She'd walked in, a spark in her eye, wanting to change the world for him. The past eight years had passed with no change; he had believed her hopes to be futile. Roland had seen to that.
Perhaps he had gotten used to the darkness. But he could not bear to trust in her, accept her blind faith, when all she would do was to leave him, eventually: pitiful, alone, desolate.
And so he shut her out, despite her attempts. He shut her out, thinking it was the right choice.
(It would be too painful to fail, to fall, to lose everything again.)
The Amulet of Avalor. It had drawn him in, hadn't it? Gleaming on her chest, it had been his greatest curse and greatest blessing.
That had been the goal, initially, hadn't it — to gain the amulet? But her spirit had captured his heart. Watching her succeed warmed him like a candle, a flicker of long-gone hope reigniting in his chest. He had to tell himself that this was all for show, that one day, soon enough, he would betray her. He'd convinced himself that she was just a girl of no consequence, so it wouldn't hurt when he stabbed her in the back.
(And hadn't that been the biggest lie of his life?)
He'd taught her all he'd known about magic. And he'd made himself wait. One more magic lesson, one more endearing smile, one more day living the illusion of affection. She'd wormed her way into his heart, taking the place of his evil dreams. Soon, he'd found himself longing for a lifetime of her as his friend, instead of a lifetime of ruling a kingdom.
It was just him and the princess in the tower. And despite what the world said, maybe he could live with this. Her words could be his shield, he could be her mentor — and then what more would they have to fear?
And yet temptation got to him. Fueled by insecurity and lust for power, he came to the table, accepted the stone, raised a green-tipped wand to the sky.
Her family was frozen statuesque on their thrones when she flew through the doors to the palace. Her face held an expression he had never seen her direct at him. As he turned to face her, aiming to strike her down, he knew he could not follow through.
If he betrayed her, he would lose everything they'd worked for. Her trust, her faith. A friendship.
It would be too painful: to fail, to fall, to lose everything again.
It's just him and the princess in the tower. She would change the world just for him. It's one of her charms. The amulet hangs around her neck, powerful as always, but he pays it no mind. There are more important things than power, he's learned over the years.
As she brings over the supplies for their next potion, he feels a smile spread across his face. It's genuine and bright, a sentiment he hasn't felt in years.
"We should best get started on that potion, shouldn't we?" he says.
She beams back, and they get to work, gold light illuminating the workshop.
Their friendship is all that matters now. It's all he needs.
Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed it, I would appreciate a review!
You can find me on tumblr at tenapricots.