A Time for Faith - Station Deep Space Nine, Episode 1

by HumanMawile

Months after the end of the final season, Ezri Dax finds DS9 empty an wanting. But new friends and new threats find themselves at the station and Ezri stands as the last line of defense between DS9 and the war weary Dominion, and the encroaching threat of the Borg. Ezri must use all the memories living within her to face prejudice, spiritual angst, and existential threats.

Station Deep Space Nine
Pilot Episode
"A Time for Faith"

TW: war trauma, abuse, suicide, misgendering, transphobia, sexual harassment

Starring:

Jr. Lieutenant Ezri Dax

Colonel Kira Nerys

Doctor Julian Bashir

Chief Ro Laren

Jr. Lieutenant Nog

Ensign Lusara Belli (LOO-suh-ruh Buh-lee)

Ensign Terin Holm (TAIR-rin HOLM)

Commander Elias Vaughn (ee-LYE-us VONN)

Second Sect'Ikon (SEKT-Eh-konn)

Quark

Chapter One – Into the Arms of Ghosts

as told by Ezri Dax

It is the dawn of 2376 by Earth's old calendar, and dawn as well on the planet of Bajor. As the last of the stars fade in the sky, a flickering bright blue star comes into existence for just a moment, before flickering away as if it had never been there. Sitting on Bajor with the naked eye, that's all you can see of the 'Celestial Temple of the Prophets,' but only a few hundred kilometers away sits Deep Space Station Nine where the Temple's nature as a wormhole can be seen. Nearly every day I watch ships enter its huge blue swirling maw and fade away into the Gamma Quadrant. Off to beautiful and terrifying mysteries, routine cargo runs, and the new diplomatic ventures with the Dominion.

I must see at least fifteen clients a day. We talk about family and friends, how to apologize to a spouse, how to make a connection with someone when you're too scared to talk to them, and bigger journeys like coping with war trauma, the death of a loved one, and so many other things. Everyday I'm amazed by the things that come out of my mouth, parenting advice, how to be self-confident, things like that. A lot of my clients can't believe it's me saying these things either.

But the truth is the stories and appointments have begun to blur together. The mood on the station is much quieter these days. I may not see many Bajoran patients, but I can tell how they feel because there's so much sadness in the air. Their Emissary has left them. Some of them are happy and are glad that he's with the aliens in the wormhole, who are their gods they call 'The Prophets.' Others are mourning because they believe they will never see him again. Sometimes I'll tell them stories about him when he was younger, but it doesn't seem to help. I don't think they really believe I could understand how they feel. I'd like to think that I can, but I'm not Bajoran. Even though he was my old friend Benjamin, they don't see him as the human he was, but as part of their spiritual lives.

I had to admit with Benjamin, Miles, Worf, Odo, Garak, Rom, and Leeta gone, the station has lost a lot of life. Julian and I see a lot of each other which helps. He's taken to showing me a lot of his battle programs in the holo-suite and they are a lot of fun, but I'm not very good at them. Or… maybe it's just that he's genetically enhanced and I'm not so I can't keep up. Plus, I'm not nearly as good with swords as Jadzia was. Sometimes I can convince him to let Nerys join us… provided she also wants to come. That usually evens out the odds.

Quark's is doing as well as ever, though you wouldn't believe it the way he complains. It seems like every week I hear him yelling about how much he hates a really great new policy on Ferenginar by his "idiot brother." But I've known him way too long not to notice the pride he has for Rom all the same. A couple of his dabo girls come in to see me for counseling every week and the way they tell it Quark's is a fairer place to work than it's ever been. Then again… that's not saying much.

I have no complaints about life on the station really. My relationship is great, life has some challenge to it but is a lot easier than wartime was, and yet I find myself all alone, staring out a window, wondering what might be out there. Living on the station is beginning to feel a bit like living in a graveyard. Everywhere I go I remember something Jadzia did here or there, or I think to myself, "I'll bet Miles could fix that," or "Odo would've caught that man," and things like that. I've lived here for just one year, but it was beginning to feel like home. Now it's like living in someone else's house, and all the children have grown up, and ghosts wander the corridors.

Eventually I got tired of staring out the window and thinking about what life is like on Bajor, or Earth, or thinking about what exactly Benjamin could be going through in the wormhole, if that's even where he is. But the truth is I was stalling, and I needed to stop. I uncrossed my arms and set them behind my back. In a professional way I'd like to think, though I'm sure Julian would call it cute instead. I found my way to the nearest turbo lift and stepped inside, feeling far away.

"Take me to Ops, please." I asked the turbolift. It beeped to acknowledge me and I began to move.

I started thinking of Garak. He must've avoided the lifts like a case of Cardassian flu. I don't have claustrophobia like him, but the lift felt unusually cramped today. Just as I was beginning to expect a lonely ride the lift whirred to a stop and there was Julian.

"Ezri! On your way to Ops?" He said as he stepped inside, with his usual charming smile. I couldn't help but smile back.

"I am! Can't say I'm looking forward to it."

For some reason every time I see him, I get nervous for the first few moments. Once I relaxed, I became aware of how tired I was and reflexively laid on his shoulder. He put his arm around me. It's so strange being short again. I remember when I was taller than him. Well, when Jadzia was. As the lights of each deck passed by, he returned my comment with his own.

"Ah, well… I'm sure it will be just another uneventful day. Frankly, things are just as boring in the Infirmary. I haven't had so much as a minor injury come in… Ensign Terrier has a cold though, so maybe that will spread."

I just looked at him with a derisive smirk.

"Not that I'm hoping for it to spread, oh no!" He laughed nervously. I just rolled my eyes and relaxed.

I started talking about my own feelings, "Well personally, I could use a break. I've had so many patients lately… With everything that's happened people have a lot of healing to do."

Julian returned my comment, his chipper nature fading to a serious tone, "That they do… The war took its toll… Hopefully soon you won't have to put in so much time in Ops when we get those new officers". I nodded in response, feeling far away again.

We were quiet the rest of the ride, which was already almost over, but the silence felt really long. We normally can't shut up. One of us usually rambles on about something. If I'm not going on about a past life, he's going on about research that eventually goes over my head. Actually, being with Julian is like having a best friend who just happens to go to bed with you from time to time and gives you a kiss here and there. It isn't at all like what I expected. Or even like what Jadzia expected.

The doors opened and I had to leave Julian's arms. We were greeted at Ops with an argument between Nerys and Admiral Beckford. The Admiral is a very imposing woman, almost as imposing as Nerys. She has quite dark skin and dense curly hair. I think Julian said she was born on an island called Jamaica? Curzon spent a lot of time on Earth, but I don't think he ever went there. Anyway, Admiral Beckford is the new Admiral for our region, assigned here after Admiral Ross was transferred to the sector bordering the Romulan Neutral Zone. As Julian and I reached Ops, Nerys threw a padd on the desk.

"This roster is ridiculous! We have been operating with a skeleton crew for months, and now you're sending us children to be our senior officers?! If you still want Bajor to join the Federation you're going to have to do better Admiral! The Dominion could still be a threat and we need experienced officers in case of an attack!"

Admiral Beckford was trying hard to be diplomatic, but this is clearly not the first argument they've had.

"I understand how you feel Colonel, but as I have said, we continue to have Borg incursions and the Federation Council has elected to send experienced officers out to protect our most vulnerable colonies. Bajor is important to us, but it is not in much danger right now. We must keep our experienced crews close to the Romulan border and guarding against further Borg attacks. But if you feel that strongly… then I must point out that joining the Federation would allow Bajor to have a better voice in these matters."

Nerys didn't seem very reassured by this. Ever since Benjamin told the Bajoran people not to join us, Nerys has had a hard time wanting to join the Federation. She's facing pressure from all sides and when someone tells her to do something she's not likely to do it out of spite alone.

She let out a dismissive sigh and turned away from the admiral, pacing a moment before turning back to her with a calmer tone,

"Look, I understand that Admiral. But if Bajor is going to join the Federation then will you at least allow me to pick my own security force? Just because Odo is gone, that doesn't mean we want Starfleet running security on the station yet, and let alone with so few officers. There are more experienced people on Bajor right now!"

The admiral shakes her head, "I'm afraid I cannot sanction such a course of action. Protocol requires us to keep a security force on the station of a Starfleet nature and-"

Nerys interrupts her,

"Protocol! Oh, I don't believe this! Y'know Starfleet is already stretched thin after the war, but you still won't trust us enough to let us handle our own security?!"

Beckford gets a little angrier,

"It is not a question of trust, but of how seriously we take the protection of Bajor. Captain Sisko walked a dangerous line as it was. If he weren't so important to you, we'd have pushed him even further for Starfleet security."

Nerys' tone changes here, more serious, as if the Admiral were treading on sacred ground,

"Don't drag the Emissary into this, you have no right-"

Beckford interrupted her,

"And this brings up another matter…"

My focus drifted away around here as the admiral grilled into Nerys about the way she commands. I can't say I liked what the Admiral had to say. I don't think she understands what station life is really like, but Admiral's rarely do. At the same time the Dominion War shook up the entire galaxy, it's no wonder that the Federation Council is a little paranoid. I snuck over to the replicator and ordered a London Fog with vanilla. Jadzia would be horrified at a sweet tea latte but I have a bit of a sweet tooth compared to her. I saw Nog leaning over the engineering console, trying desperately not to look bored. The station had so few problems to deal with after Chief O'Brien's good work. It was here where the argument caught my attention again.

Nerys yells, "Oh, I see so it's ME you don't trust then, isn't it?! You trust me with a Starfleet commission for the war but since I still serve my own people first, you're ready to replace me?!"

Beckford is calmer again but her words only land like salt on a wound, "Starfleet believes that Commander Vaughn would be better suited as a new commander for the station."

Nerys doesn't care at all who is replacing her, only that she is being replaced.

"Admiral! I…!"

She suddenly stopped. Everyone looked up, anticipating a fiery response. She started again,

"Admiral. I assure you that the Bajoran Government will take my replacement as an insult to our independence. You want us to join the Federation and promise so much freedom, and yet you try to control us at every turn. At the end of the day, I do trust the Federation, but many of my people don't feel the same way and they will see this as hypocrisy. And frankly, I can't say I'd disagree with them. But…. Maybe there's a compromise…"

I've never seen Nerys compromise in a situation like this. If her back is to the wall she usually lashes out, but I suppose she has grown a lot since the early days of the station. But especially since Benjamin left and Nerys was left in charge. She's become more diplomatic, more willing to reach out and understand.

The admiral just stared at her, "I'm listening."

"Alright…" Nerys was nervous now and clenching her teeth to keep from yelling. I can never quite fathom how she manages to stay so strong. "If I brush up on Starfleet protocol and stay in command… I would be willing to have this 'Commander Vaughn' as my first officer. And as for the security arrangements, I would be willing to make it a joint security force, but I get to choose the Chief of Security. And as soon as the next Kai is chosen, and the Prophets will it, I will do everything I can to get Bajor admitted to the Federation. I'll take the lead myself."

She was taking a huge risk that Starfleet wouldn't be willing to give up that much, but it was a big gesture for her, and the Admiral must've seen that because just moments later Beckford let out a sigh,

"Very well Colonel. I will run this by the rest of the Council. They won't like it, but I think they can respect it enough to agree to it…"

Nerys gave a sarcastic smile, "Thank you, admiral. Kira out."

And that was the end of the exchange. When Nerys turned around she found us all staring at her. She looked a little uncomfortable at all the attention. Then she walked up to me and touched my shoulders with an embarrassed smile,

"Sometimes those admirals of yours are just…"

She couldn't think of the right words, so she let go of me, and turned to Nog and said,

"I'm going to take a break, you have Ops." She declared.

Nerys talks to me a lot about the things that frustrate her, but I didn't expect her to go from frustrated to warm and friendly so quickly. It made me happy to see it. I think she could tell it caught me off guard though.

Nog let out a sigh of relief before Nerys reached the lift. "I thought that meeting was never going to end."

A few more officers came up the lift, and Lieutenant Carpenter relieved Nog. Julian and I talked for a bit about mundane things while I finished my tea, but he got called away to help Ensign Terrier with her cold. And then I found myself staring face to face with the science station. This was my spot for six years. That is, it was Jadzia's, so I knew the drill. There are so few science officers left on the station that Nerys figured I could help there for a shift. But sitting at the console, for me, is a bit like walking over my own grave. I started to wonder how many days it would be until those new officers arrived, if I would know any of them from the Academy, if any of them could do the job half as good as Jadzia. I took every excuse I could to stand up from the chair. All these double shifts of science then Counseling have made me very tired, but I don't think I could possibly sleep here. It was too unnerving. I'm sure Jadzia could've handled it. Sometimes I wish I really was her; it would certainly make things easier. I remember what it was like to be her, and sometimes I almost convince myself that I still am her, but I've spent so long trying to learn who I am, even before I was joined… I can't give that up.

When Nerys came back, she looked bleary eyed, but confident. I found out later that she had been talking to the Bajoran Government about her choice for security chief. Considering who it turned out to be, I have no doubt that Starfleet Command got the message Nerys wanted to send. I only wish she had come to the station just a little sooner, we were about to need her.

My console beeped, "Colonel!" I cried out. "Something is coming through the wormhole!"

Nerys found her way back out to us from her office, "On screen."

And there were came face to face with a Jem'Hadar fighter.

Colonel Kira spoke with her usual confidence, "Red Alert! Shields up."

I couldn't help but remember the first time I fought the Jem'Hadar. Jadzia did hundreds of times, but a Jem'Hadar hitting me, Ezri, in the face with a rifle and giving me a concussion is the first thing I think about whenever I see them. I had to remind myself that we're at peace sometimes, so there's no need for me to be scared. I did a scan of their ship, but they were close enough now we could see the trail of smoke behind them.

"Colonel, it looks like their ship is badly damaged, their engines are minimal, life support is failing…" The comm system beeped and I continued, "And… they're hailing us?"

Kira seemed as confused as I was. It isn't the Jem'Hadar's custom to run away from a fight. They make suicide runs rather than trying to escape. If they had been fighting, they would rather die than accept help from anyone.

"On screen." She ordered.

A battered and bleeding Jem'Hadar appeared on screen. His ship falling apart all around him.

"I am Second Sect'Ikon! The First is dead, and the Vorta requires medical assistance! We…" He hesitated, clearly asking for assistance brought him shame. "We request assistance…"

As soon as he finished his sentence, he closed the channel. No one in the room knew what to do. I just looked at Nerys, waiting for orders. I didn't have to wait for long.

"Stand down from red alert but remain on yellow alert. Lower shields and… allow them to dock."

Lieutenant Carpenter and I looked at each other. We both had the same thought: is this a trick? It wouldn't be the first time the Dominion used deception to gain the upper hand.

"Colonel Kira to all security forces!" Nerys had hit her communicator. "Full security alert, keep an eye on every single Dominion soldier during their stay. Infirmary, prepare for casualties." She turned to me, "and Ezri, get me the Bajoran government on a secure channel in my office."

"Aye, sir, patching you through." I said.

Nerys walked powerfully into her office. It's no wonder why she's in charge. She commands with a firm hand, but incredible warmth at other times.

Chapter Two – Fighters

As told by Ro Laren

It's been almost six years since I joined the Maquis. Since I betrayed Starfleet. Considering everything that Starfleet got up to during the war, I've come to think that Starfleet and I were never compatible. Abandoning their own people, looking the other way while their own citizens attempt genocide. Given what the Cardassians did to us, watching people who claim to be about freedom turn around and do the exact same thing to another race? I would still pick Starfleet over the Dominion any day, hell once the Maquis ended, I joined the war against them. For Starfleet chose not to court-martial me but I can never join Starfleet again. Then that I got a cozy position with Bajoran security. Must be all that tactical training, plus many Bajoran's were in the Maquis and they knew about me. But the reality is, no one really trusts me. I guess that's what I get for doing the right thing.

Now I'm being called to the famous Deep Space Nine, I guess they asked for me specifically. Knowing me I'll find some other way to screw this assignment up. They need a massive security force to protect against the Dominion ship that just arrived and rushed me here on a Bajoran freighter. I'll be leading a mostly Starfleet security force. Me… the Ro Laren. At first, I thought it was a joke, but there I was staring at about ten Starfleet security officers, each with hatred or fear in their eyes. I wasn't about to command them without letting them look the Sinoraptor in the eye.

"I am Ro Laren. I'm sure most of you already know me by reputation so let's get one thing out of the way right now. Yes, I left Starfleet to join the Maquis, I did this because I believed it was the right thing to do. You can agree with this or not, I don't care, but don't think for a second this means I can't do my job. I fought alongside Starfleet against the Dominion, I was a Starfleet officer for several years, I know the drill. Some of you may think I'm not fit to be in command, but the Bajoran government has a different opinion and last I checked Starfleet is here to help us and not the other way around. I expect you to follow my orders and protect this station. I think you'll find that I'm well up to the task…"

My new officers just stood there, looking resigned. I thought to myself this is gonna be one hell of an assignment… The officers were eyeing each other, searching for a sign their colleagues hated this as much as they did, but since no one had anything else to say, I gave the order.

"Well, we have a job to do. Move out!"

The march to the Infirmary was very quiet. I stationed several officers throughout the Promenade, two outside the Infirmary doors, and two inside with me. When I entered the Infirmary, I found a human Doctor scanning a Vorta woman. I figured the doctor must be Doctor Bashir. A lot of doctors are well respected by the Maquis, but especially if they prevented a genocide by doing what they had to do. Also, in the Infirmary were a Bajoran woman in red and a young Trill Lieutenant, perhaps a nurse. The Trill seemed to know who the Vorta was.

When I was walking in, she was saying something like, "She was the Vorta who tried to save a Founder on the ship we recovered years ago."

As Bashir was scanning the Vorta, the Jem'Hadar in charge was standing uncomfortably close to him. He had burns all over his chest and was limping, but he refused to sit down.

He looked Bashir in the eye and said in a threatening tone, "Can you heal her?"

The Doctor didn't seem very threatened and without looking up at him he spoke, "That is what I am trying to determine right now…" He did a one eighty turn and faced the Jem'Hadar, looking him right in the eye, "Now you need to sit down so we can treat your injuries."

The Jem'Hadar scowled at him skeptically, "You know how to treat Jem'Hadar?"

Doctor Bashir began to scan him and discontinued his eye contact. "I had the opportunity to observe Jem'Hadar in great detail a few years ago… before the war" When he mentioned the war Bashir looked up at the Jem'Hadar with remorse, but the Jem'Hadar didn't flinch.

Bashir gave him a diagnosis, "Plenty of second degree burns and a broken ankle. My assistant can help you with that."

Several nurses were already helping other Jem'Hadar. Another nurse, a Bajoran man, took a dermal regenerator a couple other tools I couldn't recognize and began to help the Jem'Hadar. Since the Vorta was unconscious the Bajoran woman in red turned to the Jem'Hadar and began to ask questions.

"What's a Dominion ship doing in Federation space? Who attacked you?"

The Jem'Hadar responded indignantly, "That is for the Vorta to explain, I am not a First."

She didn't like that response, "And if we can't help your Vorta? I don't know if you remember but we just fought a war with your people and your presence here with no reason is very suspicious."

"I am Second Sect'Ikon. A Second does not speak for the crew to outsiders. Not unless the Vorta designates him the new First."

The woman in red turned away in frustration and spoke to the doctor. "What's her status Julian?" she said.

He responded, "It's hard to say, she has numerous internal injuries. Including… omicron radiation burns?" Bashir seemed shocked by the omicron radiation.

Sect'Ikon spoke up upon hearing this, "She was trying to purge the infection."

Bashir turned to him with great interest, "What sort of infection would be worth that kind of exposure? She could have killed herself."

At that moment, the Trill officer spoke up, "Julian, she's regaining consciousness!"

I finally got a good look at the Vorta, she was covered in small necrotic burns, her long brown hair was falling out in places, and somehow, she was waking up. Her breathing was some of the most belabored I had ever heard. She whispered,

"I… I'm alive?"

Bashir leaned in close, his attitude entirely changed from hostile and firm to warm and caring. I have to say that Doctor had already really impressed me. His attitude to patients reminds me of Doctor Crusher from the Enterprise.

He reassured the Vorta, "That's right, to my amazement, you're alive. You're going to need more treatment and a lot of rest however." She tried to sit up, but Bashir stopped her with his hand very gently. "Just sit back, relax, and let your doctor take care of you, okay?"

Her voice found a bit more strength, "The… Vorta immune system is quite effective, Doctor. Most poison, most sicknesses, and even radiation… can be fought with a terrible tenacity... Those that we don't need to fight, we can usually ignore entirely. It is a great gift from the Founders."

The Bajoran in red turned to the Vorta. As she did the Vorta began to speak again, as if anticipating what she was going to ask.

"My name…" She let out a dry cough before continuing. "Is Kilana…" My loyal Jem'Hadar and I were attacked. It seems our space is being violated yet again. Our enemy cares nothing for diplomacy… How abhorrent…"

I could tell the Vorta was putting on a show, thinking that is what we wanted to hear. Fortunately, the woman in red was not having it.

She retorted with a frustrated smirk, "Well, I can think of some other people I know who aren't the biggest fans of it either, but that doesn't explain why they were attacking you, or who they are."

Kilana smiled, impressed with her adversary's focus, but she kept up her excessive politeness. It seems to be a frustrating trait that most Vorta share. "I can see there's no getting anything past the famous Colonel Kira. But truly, we are the victims here. These people are half organic half machine. They infected me with some sort of… nanoprobes which attempted to rearrange my body. And-"

Every Starfleet officer, or former, looked up with horror. We all knew. Bashir began to scan her furiously. I was the only one with the courage to say it:

"The Borg."

Everyone then looked at me. I don't think anyone realized I was there. I guess I'm so used to sneaking around places, I do it without thinking. Colonel Kira, my new boss, looked up in horror after that. Then she turned back, almost panicked. I think she knew something the rest of us didn't.

"Why? What were they after?!"

Kilana acted confused, "So you're aware of these beings?"

Bashir interjected here, "The Federation has had countless confrontations with the Borg, none of them very pleasant…"

The Trill nurse spoke up next, "Curzon was on Earth during the first Borg attack there. They killed Benjamin's first wife…"

Kilana spoke up again, "I believe they also attacked Earth again while we were at war, did they not?"

Everyone stared at her. She had been pretending she didn't know who the Borg were, but she did. She noticed her blunder straight away.

"Forgive me… Vorta learn not to volunteer information as a matter of safety… We still do not easily trust each other. But yes, we do know of the Borg, my apologies for not being more forthcoming."

The Trill nurse spoke up again, though I was beginning to think she wasn't a nurse after all, "I'd have thought you'd learned to trust us after what happened with the ship on Torga IV…"

Kilana didn't seem to know what she was talking about, "Torga IV… Torga… Ah yes! That was one of my predecessor's missions. I'm afraid she was killed after that mission for allowing a Founder to die. Shameful really. Actually, our whole line was discontinued but the Founders have graciously resumed it since the war. I believe that makes me the fifth Kilana actually."

Something about her saying that seemed to make the Trill girl relax a little. I can't imagine why though. Sect'Ikon rose up from his seat before his treatment was finished and stood over Kilana in a salute. He wouldn't look at her, but his face contorted, fighting the physical pain he felt and mental pain he felt at having to answer to her.

"I would speak with you." He spoke as a matter of fact.

Bashir interrupted him, "Your treatment isn't finished. Sit-"

Sect'Ikon returned his interruption with one of his own, "I DO NOT require treatment! I do not deserve to live without the promise of victory!"

If Bashir was still frustrated, he didn't show it this time. "Yes, the Jem'Hadar motto: victory is life. Well rest assured, if you let us heal you, you may see victory again.

Sect'Ikon was unphased, turning back I the Vorta's direction, he spoke to Bashir, "I do not accept your assurances. Only the Vorta's"

Kilana spoke, her breathing was becoming weak again, "It's alright doctor… Colonel Kira?"

Kira turned to her, leaning in closer to hear her better while she struggled to speak. Bashir began to scan her again.

"We came… to ask your assistance… we cannot have victory without assistance… the Dominion is not ready for another war. When I have recovered, will you take your vessel, and us, into the wormhole and assist us? You know a great deal more about this… this enemy…"

The Doctor's tricorder began to beep in a louder, more urgent tone. "She's losing consciousness!"

Just as Kilana's eyes began to roll back, Kira responded, "Alright, we'll help."

I couldn't believe it, and apparently the Trill girl couldn't either, she spoke up.

"Nerys, are you sure?" she said.

She responded firmly. "Yes I am. The Borg have been attacking every vulnerable civilization since the war, the Dominion are among the most vulnerable, and the most powerful. I won't let that happen."

Colonel Kira spoke with the kind of determination I've come to expect from my fellow Bajoran women. She's more confident than me. Not that I let anyone else know that.

The Trill girl spoke again, putting her hand softly on the Colonel's shoulder, "You're worried about Odo… aren't you?"

The Colonel looked almost defeated, as if she had been discovered doing something wrong. But then she relaxed and turned to her friend.

"Odo and I may be separated, but they're still his people. I'll project his people just as if they were Bajorans." It was interesting to see a Bajoran officer take such an interest in the wider galaxy.

Her Trill friend simply smiled knowingly. "Of course."

Kira continued, "And I want you on the Defiant when they go out there."

The Trill girl was clearly shocked. After all, you don't usually send Junior officers our on that kind of mission.

"Me?"

"That's right Ezri, I can't think of anyone I would trust more at the comms position on this kind of mission. Captain Sisko said you got every message through, even during the assault on Cardassia. And when the new officers come in, they're gonna need someone who can help them adjust. That's you."

The girl, named Ezri apparently, blinked a few times, clearly nervous. Then she found her confidence, "You can count on me, Colonel."

Kira smiled at her with pride. Then she turned to Bashir, "Will the Vorta make it?"

"I'm not sure." He wandered over to his research console. "I need to find a way to treat the omicron radiation poisoning. Her immune system reminds me a little bit of a few other races I studied at the academy. The Denobulans being the most similar. Actually, they tend to make good doctors because their immune system is so efficient."

Kira interrupted him, "Julian… stay focused."

"Uh yes… of course." Bashir replied. The Trill girl seemed amused by the exchange.

"Well perhaps the Denobulan database will hold some results, if not, I've a few ideas of my own." Bashir said.

And he got to work. It was a site to see. Doctor Crusher was never quite that fast. Before he could finish though, Sect'Ikon walked to him and pressed his hand on Bashir's shoulder in a threatening manner.

"If she dies… You die." He said.

That was my cue. I put my my own hand on his shoulder.

"I'm afraid that won't be happening. Chief Ro, Station Security. We have a rule against threatening someone's life. By our laws I could throw you in a holding cell for this." I looked around the room, all eyes on me. The other Jem'Hadar who were still conscious gave me death stares. All too familiar. I continued, "But since you're still new to peace in the Alpha Quadrant I'll let you off with a warning this time… But you won't kill anyone… or then we will have a problem."

He stared me down with a firm gaze, almost reminded me of Klingons I've worked around. Then he yielded, never breaking eye contact as he moved to sit down. The nurses continued his treatment.

Kira turned to me and gestured me toward the Promenade, "Chief Ro Laren, I need to speak with you outside."

I nodded. The local bar caught my eye on the way out. I hate bars, but they've become something a of a home base for me lately. I spent a lot of time in them while undercover with the Maquis.

I took the initiative with the Colonel, "If you're going to tell me I should have arrested him-"

She didn't let me finish. "No, you handled that well, this is about another matter." We stopped walking and she turned to me, eye to eye. "Let me be completely frank with you Ro. You're here because Starfleet needs to understand that Bajor will have a voice in the Federation, but that voice may not always agree with it. You are also, by far and away the most qualified person I could find to do this job."

I stopped her, "That's funny, for a moment there it sounded like picking me was a political decision, and I've had my fair share of that kind of manipulation."

She took my challenge in stride but bit back, "Oh yes! And so have I. I'm aware of your past troubles with Starfleet and your time with the Maquis. Seeing someone who can't choose a side makes me think that I can't trust her, and I won't lie… I'll be keeping an eye on you." I crossed my arms. I can't tell you how many times I've heard this little speech.

But the tone changed as she continued, "but… as a Bajoran who fought the Cardassians, I can appreciate a lot of what you have been through and a lot of the things you had to do. Despite everything, I look forward to working with you."

She extended her hand for me to shake.

I obliged her after a moment's hesitation, "It's good to meet you Chief Ro Laren." She let go of my hand and put hers behind her back. "As you probably guessed, I'm Colonel Kira Nerys. Welcome to Deep Space Nine." There was a fatigue hidden in her handshake. Working with the Maquis had me finding clues in the subtlest communication. I doubt if most people could tell that from a handshake alone.

She motioned me to walk with her and her tone became more casual and upbeat, albeit a tad forced. "Well… Any ideas on who is going to be the next Kai? The Vedeks are almost ready to choose, though I hear it's probably between Vedek Ungtae and Vedek Tolena."

Oh no I thought to myself she assumes I'm a believer. Probably because of my D'ja pagh. My D'ja Pagh earring is a symbol of my family to me, not of faith, but most Bajorans outside of Bajor don't wear them unless their faith means a great deal to them. I wear mine because of my father. Because I refuse to forget where I come from.

I had gotten lost in my thoughts and hadn't realized I needed to respond. I must've looked uncomfortable because she was looking at me strangely.

"…I'm afraid I don't keep up much with Bajoran beliefs. At least, not the ones about the Prophets. After the occupation..." I sighed my next words to her, bracing myself. "I just couldn't believe anymore. I'm afraid I have no idea who the next Kai will be, I don't give it much thought in the end."

She took her own pause. She seemed disturbed by what I had to say but she tried to hide it. Poorly.

"… I see…" We walked together with another awkward pause, during which I regretted everything I had just told her. This was going to be a problem; I could feel it. I should've just said 'Oh I have no idea who the Kai will be.' And left it at that. But I knew if I did that, I would be constantly hounded about Bajoran spiritual questions. The number of Bajorans in the Maquis was staggering. I found myself reluctant about being with my people again, but especially because of this. I couldn't stand all the questions, and when I told them I wasn't a believer… well people react the way that Kira did. 'A Bajoran who doesn't believe in the Prophets? Oh, she must worship the Pah-wraiths.' I've grown to hate that stupid little cult. I knew enough to know the last Kai was seduced by it somehow. It didn't surprise me, but it seemed to surprise every other Bajoran. The cult is bigger than ever. But if they want to form their own religion that's fine with me.

Kira piped up again and we stopped walking, eye to eye once more. She looked professional. "Chief Ro! The new Bajoran security force will be here soon. As well as the new Starfleet crew. At that time, I'll be sending out the Defiant and our Dominion guests. Until then, your task is to make sure the Jem'Hadar stay out of trouble."

"I assume you'll want me on the mission since I have experience with the Borg?" I asked.

"No, you'll be remaining here. There's no way all the Jem'Hadar will fit on the Defiant, so we'll be taking whoever Kilana needs. The Jem'Hadar who stay will become a security risk sooner or later, but you're to avoid killing them if at all possible. We don't want another war on our hands. Is that clear Chief?"

"Perfectly sir." I realized I still had my arms crossed, and probably wasn't exuding the kind of respect she wanted from me, but I didn't particularly care.

"Besides," she cringed, "the new Starfleet first officer is supposed to have extensive experience, including with the Borg, even more than you Chief. I'll be remaining on the station as well. The Borg have been spotted in the Alpha Quadrant too and I want to be prepared in case they attack the station. We've got our work cut out for us… I'll be in Ops."

And that was that. She walked off rather quickly, as if she was glad to get away from me. Like I said. I knew I would find some way to screw this assignment up. I was already well on my way.

Chapter Three – The New Arrivals

As told by Doctor Julian Bashir

Chief Medical Officer's log, Stardate 53152.2. After some great urging our Jem'Hadar guests have left my Infirmary. I only hope our new security Chief is up to the task. I had to convert one of my statis chambers into a radiation treatment alcove, but I was able to clear all radiation poisoning from The Vorta Kilana. Her symptoms will soon subside, and, for the moment, she is resting.

Julian Bashir leaned back after finishing his log. He was glad to that the Dominion seemed serious about peace, so was he. Julian thinks of himself as a man of peace, a man of integrity. He came out here to practice medicine, and now he finally can get back to it. No more secret organizations, no more firing phasers and watching the life drain out of another being's eyes, his hands were made to bring life back to the lifeless. But… he couldn't help but feel tired. Working on DS9 had made him feel like a family doctor for the station. He was looking forward to that feeling coming back after the war, but it seemed now that life had other plans.

Ezri had left to keep her shift going and he found himself missing her already. Dax is quite a woman. Back when she was Jadzia he courted her endlessly. With Ezri it was different. Actually, he rather avoided expressing his attraction most of the time, wanting to avoid causing her any discomfort, though at times he couldn't help but express it. They both are quite different, but very similar all the same. He was finally with her, and that made him feel that he was the luckiest man alive. He could tell they had been moving too fast though, so he was trying to slow things down for her sake, despite what he would like.

In the meantime, he attended to the new crew roster. The good Colonel Kira had provided him with the list of medical needs for the new arrivals. There he stumbled upon two young Ensigns who had unique medical needs. The first was someone Ezri may bond with, the first and so far, only Trill to be 'unjoined'. This normally kills the joined Trill host because the joining results in dependency on the symbiont. However, with extensive treatment, this dark-skinned young male Trill, Terin Varal, has managed to make it through the Academy. And as a pilot no less! The only things keeping him standing are all the medications he takes, and he requires a wheel or hover chair to move because walking exhausts him. When he has to walk, he uses a cane, but his piloting record is incredible. Considering what he must have survived he's made a stupendous recovery! He has an implant where the symbiont used to be that regulates some of his functions. Julian had doubts this would become standard for Trill who come to regret joining, considering what Terin has to live with now.

The next patient who caught his eye. A female Ferengi, only the second Ferengi ever in Starfleet, and in science no less. She has a request for an elective procedure. The procedure is hardly necessary, perhaps she simply wants her ears to look smaller so that she can blend in with humans better? Julian pondered how Quark will react to her, he couldn't wait to see. That said, Julian really hoped that Lusara Belli would come to accept her appearance. Starfleet is hardly the place to find judgement over such superficial things. He hoped she and Nog would get along. Ezri will have to see both of them as counseling patients no doubt, he tapped is communicator, he was glad to have an excuse to talk with her, she must be lonely up there.

"Doctor Bashir to Lieutenant Dax!"

Her voice sparkled out of his combadge, what a beautiful sound, "Hi Julian! Feeling a little lonely in the Infirmary?"

"Ah, how'd you guess?" Ezri is always so insightful. But Julian had much more to say. "Have you taken a look at the new crew coming in? One of them really caught my eye. The first Trill to ever have a symbiont removed after joining is complete and survive! It's remarkable! The disabilities sound difficult to live with. Did you get his psych profile?"

"I did. Obviously, I can't discuss everything, but it caught my attention, I've been thinking about how treatment may go for him..."

After a pause Julian responded, "How does that make you feel? The first symbiont to be removed successfully?"

Julian felt strange suddenly and was beginning to think he shouldn't have asked her about it.

"I'm not really sure what to think, Julian." She was clearly uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry, Ezri. It didn't occur to me how that might make you feel."

Ezri had plenty of reassurances to offer however, "Oh that's okay, Julian! I'm glad to hear you talk about your work. And I'm alright."

"Thank you, my dear." Julian said playfully. It always made her smile when he called her sweet names. "I had the thought that we should meet them at the airlock when they arrive. In case they need medical assistance, and because they will want to get to know you.

Without missing a beat, she responded, "I'll meet you there!" She seemed a little nervous.

"Bashir… out!" Julian spun around in his chair, smiling to himself. What a lucky man he was indeed.

Two hours later, they met at the airlock for just that purpose. They each shook hands with various crewmen, Ensigns, and Junior Lieutenants. New medical staff, engineers, security… some of them were still in cadet uniforms. Julian couldn't help but feel nervous with so many young faces. They were just like he was when he first came to the station all those years ago.

As the crowd tapered a bit Ezri whispered to him, "I saw a few familiar faces. No one I knew well though."

"Was that the last transport?" He asked.

Ezri answered him, "I think so."

A man stepped out of the airlock next. The new commander. He was very intimidating, his hair was white, and he had a deshelled look. A finely trimmed beard and perfectly trimmed hair, though there wasn't too much of it left that was real. Julian could tell he was wearing a carefully placed wig. Without his genetically enhanced eyes he didn't think anyone else could pick up on it. Commander Vaughn wasn't much taller than him, but he seemed at least a meter taller.

Julian reached out a hand for him to shake and smiled, "Welcome to DS9, Commander!"

Commander Vaughn stared at Julian's hand, and looked back at him without taking it. "Is that how you greet a commanding officer Lieutenant?"

Vaughn had no emotion on his face. He was stone cold. His voice was the same. Unreadable. Julian blinked in surprise at such a cold response. He straightened up, feeling rejected.

"No, sir. Sorry, sir." He said as firmly as he could manage.

Vaughn ignored Julian after that and turned to Dax.

"It's… interesting… to see you again, Dax.

Julian looked at Ezri with surprise.

Ezri responded to Vaughn, "Likewise, sir. I've… changed a lot since we last met."

Vaughn responded very suddenly, with a firmness of a sort. He was hard for Julian to read.

"That remains to be seen… Lieutenant." Vaughn emphasized 'Lieutenant'when he spoke it, behaving almost as if Ezri's existence needed regulation. Julian felt offended on her behalf, but he wasn't about to show it.

Vaughn began to leave before a pause. He turned his head back to her and looked down to her face. Scanning it, as if he were investigating her.

"But yes… I suppose you are…younger…" After another uncomfortable stare, he marched away, likely toward Ops.

Julian relaxed and whispered to Ezri, "I'm glad Nerys is the one in charge… How do you know Vaughn?"

She seemed a million kilometers away, but upon realizing she was being asked something, she turned to Julian, "Oh! Curzon knew him, he was one of Curzon's students at the Academy…"

"Must have been some student…" he said.

"Put it this way… cadet Vaughn constantly complained that Curzon's classes were "unprofessional." Ezri seemed different for a moment, almost cranky. "Hmph, the man just didn't know how to live." As she finished her sentence she seemed back to her old self. "But he still hasn't made Captain in almost a century." She shook her head with pity.

"Well, I know I'll be avoiding him as much as possible." Julian said.

Ezri looked at Julian reassuringly, "Oh, don't worry, I suspect he'll make that easy for you."

Julian's attention waivered off Ezri a moment, hearing the sound of voices in the airlock. They were getting closer. A low raspy voice with a feminine edge to it was speaking to someone.

"Left foot, now right… and left… right. Breathing in and out… We're almost there Terin…"

From the airlock Julian and Ezri saw the crewmen they were waiting for. Lusara Belli, and Terin Varal. Ensign Belli was holding Terin's hand and hips as he struggled on his cane to reach the corridor. He seemed to be in a great deal of pain, breathing very heavily in and out of his mouth.

Julian felt a pang of empathy for Terin and struck his combadge, "Bashir to Infirmary, transport the assistance chair to airlock five."

A few moments and Bashir received Terin's new chair. The chair is cushioned lightly and has a hover system on the bottom that can be manipulated to raise and lower the user as needed, however the chair also contains a set of wheels in case of hover failure. The chair has several buttons near the hand positions for easy movement.

Julian pushed the chair towards Terin, but Terin rose his hand and yelled, "NO!" His voice was slightly higher than one would expect of a 30-year-old man.

Julian stopped and put the chair by the exit of the airlock. Terin was close enough now Julian could see he was shivering, even in full uniform. One full pip on his red collar. As Terin and Lusara reached the chair, Lusara let go of him and Terin slowly landed in the chair, wiggled to test the strength of the hover system before putting his full weight down. He let out a huge sigh and began to breathe quickly. He was rather skinny and weak; his spots were a yellowish brown against his dark skin. Julian began to think of Melora, she needed a chair as well. He wondered where she was. Hoped she had found someone to love like he had. Terin began to speak.

"There wasn't room on the Tenzin for my chair, so I had to leave it behind… I've been having to walk everywhere for a week…" He breathed heavily for a moment, and then began to stand up again. Julian reflexively reached to help him, but Terin again stopped him. "No need Doctor..." He took a couple breaths and rose to his feet, his cane vibrating as he put his weight on it. "Standing up was my choice, you don't need to help. But obviously I'll need your help a lot."

Terin shook Julian's hand, and Julian couldn't help but smile. "It's an honor to meet you Ensign Varal!" There was an awkward pause and Terin looked at him. "…Ensign Holm, sir."

Julian didn't get it at first, "I'm sorry?"

"Varal was my symbiont's name… I no longer use it. I'm Terin Holm again, as I was born."

Julian felt a pang of guilt. "My apologies, that wasn't in your file."

Holm took it well letting out a small laugh, "I'm not surprised, Trill don't exactly have a custom for this sort of thing. But common wisdom seems to be that if a symbiont has been with you, it stays with you even after its gone."

Julian had so many questions, but he didn't wish to offend Mr. Holm. But he found he couldn't help but ask one.

"Forgive me if this is an inappropriate question but… knowing you were joined for nearly five years… can you still remember anything from your other hosts?

"Holm became very serious and sat back down into his chair, "… Yes… Everything…"

"I see…" Julian said. He could see the great pain in Holm's eyes.

He looked at Ezri. Julian couldn't tell exactly what he felt, but Ezri was looking back at him with a look of pure remorse. There was some sort of pain being exchanged, but no words. Then with a notable increase in depression and anger, Terin Holm moved his chair, his breathing normal.

"I'll be reporting to Ops. After that I'll come see you for my physical Doctor." He didn't look at anyone as his chair floated away at a brisk pace.

Ensign Belli, who had been leaning on his chair, piped up at him as he left, "Meet me on the Promenade later if you wanna check out the restaurants!" Terin gave a thumbs up without turning around.

Belli turned to us and said, "Ah, quite the man, isn't he? And a good friend." Belli spoke with pure admiration. "Wouldn't have made it through the Academy without each other." Belli stuck out her hand. She had no formality to her whatsoever, greeting us as kindred spirits rather than superior officers. It was at this point that Julian found himself staring at her ears. They were triple lobed, female Ferengi only have double lobed ears, they are quite large still but he was beginning to understand why she wanted ear lobe surgery. He looked over at Ezri looking for a hint. Belli looked very idiosyncratic than most female Ferengi he knew of. The roster stated she was a woman though and that was good enough for him. Ezri was happily shaking the Ensign's hand. When he looked back at Belli she was looking at him. The moment they locked eyes she looked away, looking ashamed. She noticed me looking at her ears, he thought. Damnnit. I'm a doctor, I need to be more sensitive and not stare.

Ezri spoke to her, "It's good to meet you Ensign." She smiled in her usual warm and inviting way, with just a hint of professionalism.

Ensign Belli responded and flicked her wrist forward very casually, leaving it hanging down an angle a moment before bringing her hands together, "Oh. Please, call me Lu!" She adjusted her collar. "This uniform is far too tight, and I don't care for the titles!"

Ezri obliged her, "You've got a deal Lu!" Ezri seemed relieved at the sense of relaxation.

"Now could one of you show me to Ops so that I can report to the Colonel and get out of this uniform?" Lusara smiled warmly, amused by her own words.

Julian knew it should be Ezri, he had to get ready for Ensign Holm's physical. "You two ladies go on ahead, I better get back to the Infirmary."

Something on Lu's face beamed as Julian left. He overheard Ezri ask her, "isn't it unusual for a Ferengi to use a family name?"

Lu responded, "Oh it is, but my names are very special to me, and I wanted to be addressed the same as any other officer, rather than being called "Ensign Lusara…" It just sounds weird, humans try to be formal, but then they miss the mark." Julian couldn't help but notice that Lusara pronounced 'human' properly. He'd never met a Ferengi before who did that.

Chapter Four – Cubical

As told by Ezri Dax

It had turned out to be quite a day. Ms. Lu and I were heading up to Ops to see her station. I know that Elias had beat us there. Sorry I guess that's "Commander Vaughn" now. It's going to weird taking orders from him, Curzon never liked him, but then Curzon was an abrasive, even abusive person, at times in his own way… It's strange, remember what it felt like to be him, but he's so different from who I am as a person. Jadzia felt the same way. What's even stranger is remembering what it was like for him to be in love with Jadzia and ashamed of it, and also what it was like to be grilled harshly by Curzon and resent him for it. I can remember the same interactions from two different points of view. It's valuable insight, but also makes me a little space sick if I think about it too long.

I had just got finished telling Lu about that. It's funny, we just met but we really have made a connection. I was hoping she would like me, when I read her psych profile, it reminded me so much of myself. Almost anyway, the confusion, the loneliness, not knowing who you really are, the important stuff. We haven't even started our counseling sessions yet either. She talked a lot about clothing. I guess she used to be a tailor on Ferenginar, that was the only way she could make ends meet as a female Ferengi with no home. Bad family life… that's also very familiar. Once Zek and Rom made some reforms though she finally got off Ferenginar and joined Starfleet immediately. We must have just missed each other at the Academy. She would've been a first-year cadet while I was transferring to the Destiny.

As we reached Ops she was going on about a special silk they use on Ferenginar. "The silk collected from gree worms is the finest there is, but most Ferengi prefer to eat them before they become mature enough to produce the silk… Nasty… Once they get their legs, they weave beautiful webs. You wait until they abandon the web because it's too moist from the all the rain and then you collect it, process it, and you have silk smoother than Andorian ice, but softer than the quilts they make on Orias!" She spoke with such emotion, like she was feeling the silk while she talked about it. I knew some of it had to be Ferengi sales pitching, but it was nice to see someone with such life. Jadzia would've liked her, too.

We passed the science console, and it drew her eye immediately. "This would be my station, huh?" She gave a toothy smile.

"That's right!" I took my hands out from behind my back to show her around the console, but before I could start, she had sat down and made herself comfortable.

"Let's see here…" She began pressing buttons. "Cardassian design means that this menu holds the external sensors… over here you get the internal ones… the database is accessed here…" After more beeping and mumbling I realized she was made for this post, though I was almost surprised that she wasn't picked for Starship duty. She knew exactly how to get to everything, and she had never even seen a Cardassian science station before.

She tried to say something, and her voice cracked. She cleared her throat before speaking a little higher, "Cardassian science stations are quite sparse, but that just means you have to get creative with your setup. Who used this console last? Whoever they were did an excellent job setting it up for Federation use!"

I felt an enormous swelling pride, and a little sadness. Jadzia REALLY would have liked her…

"Actually, that would've been my last host: Jadzia. She was the last dedicated science officer."

She turned to me and smiled, "Oh! In that case, well done! You did an excellent job!"

It felt strange being called Jadzia, a little unnerving, but her tone was so warm and innocent, I couldn't help but feel complimented anyway. She wasn't technically wrong that it was me either.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I've met so few Trill, I hope that was appropriate." I guess she noticed I felt strange.

"That's okay Lu. When I figure it out, I'll let you know." I smiled.

She laughed out loud, "I very much understand that Lieutenant."

"Please just Ezri, that would only be fair, I'm not much one for titles either." I was a little nervous again. I'm always a little nervous…

Commander Vaughn appeared behind us like a specter. He chastised us, "Lieutenant Dax, Ensign Belli. Ops is not the proper place for fraternization."

Lu looked up at him, practically rolling her eyes, "Sorry Commander, we were only getting to know each other, I'm quite capable of doing m-"

Elias interrupted him, raising his voice, "Is that the proper tone to take when addressing a commanding officer Ensign?"

Lu just started at him… she was biting her teeth to keep from yelling at him for interrupting, I could see it in her eyes. This is not the first time she's been spoken to like this. She then looked down, all the life drained from her eyes, and she responded indignantly, but submissively.

"No sir."

The Commander would not have it. He walked down to the front of her console and said, "look at me when I'm talking to you Ensign." She looked up, staring him in the eye, with only a little forced respect.

I tried to save, "Commander. I was the one encouraging this, it's not her-"

This time he interrupted me, "Lieutenant Dax! I was not talking to you, I will address you when I am!" He then turned back to Lu. I didn't know what to say. I looked behind me and saw Nerys watching, arms crossed. She wasn't happy with the Commander, but she wasn't interjecting just yet. Nog was back on duty and watching as well, I don't think he realized there was another Ferengi in Starfleet here, but this is not how I wanted their first impression of her to go.

Vaughn leaned a bit closer and squinted at Lu. "I see that the mentions of insubordination on your Academy record were not exaggerated Ensign. I expect you to take your duties seriously, if I find that you aren't again, your assignment on this station won't last…"

He walked away and looked at the viewscreen. "Ensign Belli, visual on Bajor, maximum Magnification!" Lu obliged him silently. There stood bajor, blue-green seas shimmering in the light of the Bajoran star.

"Visual on the wormhole!"

She obliged him again.

"I don't see a wormhole Ensign."

Lu was nearly shaking, her face red with embarrassment. I have no doubt my face was bright red too; I couldn't help but think of my mother. This is exactly the kind of thing she would do. If I had any authority as station counselor, I would stop this abuse immediately. Unfortunately, only a Doctor can order a superior officer, and only for a medical reason.

"I'm WAITING Ensign! Why am I not seeing a wormhole?"

Lu cracked a bit and yelled back, wouldn't make eye contact with him. "The wormhole only appears when a ship passes through it, there are no ships' scheduled for the moment!"

"There are no ships scheduled for the moment…?" He demanded expectantly.

"No ships scheduled for the moment, SIR!"

This was a full-blown shakedown.

Elias barked at her again, "From now on I expect fuller reports, Ensign. You are the science officer! Your job is to report and explain whatever phenomenon we encounter; you will endeavor to be more thorough from here on out. Is that understood?!"

"… Aye, sir!" She said, sitting stiff.

Elias looked around the room. "Very good Ensign! Carry on!" He stepped up the stairs towards Nerys' office. Lu was looking straight ahead with pure shock… I can't say I was feeling very good either. I was a little queasy. Lu's bright and friendly demeanor had completely faded.

As Elias passed near Nerys' she grabbed his arm. "In my office, now." She whispered. It was his turn to get a shakedown. After the doors closed, I couldn't hear what was being said, but Nerys was furious with him. I knew Nerys would understand he was being overly strict.

I looked over to Nog, he seemed unconcerned. I looked back at Lu and touched her shoulder. "Lu…"

She shook her head no. As if to tell me not to try to comfort her. Her face was blank, and her eyes were moist. She slowly turned to me and let out a half smirk. "I'm glad the Colonel likes me at least."

I nodded. "Stuff like this is why Elias never made Captain. My host before Jadzia knew him at the Academy." Command is more than just discipline. At least that's what Curzon always said. There's a balance you have to strike.

Nerys and Elias stopped arguing. Elias stormed out of there in a huff and charged to the turbolift. As he rode it, he was mumbling something about "80 years of service." Nerys came out of her office and walked up to us.

"Ensign Belli. I'm Colonel Kira Nerys. Fortunately, I'm giving the orders around here. Strict discipline may be how Federation Starships can run, but here on DS9, we prefer a little bit more of a relaxed atmosphere." Lu and Nerys shook hands, but Lu was still a little shaken.

She nervously told Nerys, "Please, just Lusara, or Lu if you prefer."

"Absolutely Lusara. It looks like you've already made one friend today" She looked at me. "I hope the first of many. However, we do have a difficult mission ahead where I'll need to work under Commander Vaughn again, I hope that you can do that."

She reassured Nerys, "I can, I heard what you told him, so if he yells at me again… I can take it. It's not the first time I've been grilled, it just… caught me off guard…"

"Glad to hear it Lusara." Using Lu's first name seemed to catch Nerys off guard, but she quickly recovered and smiled. Every time Nerys smiles I can't help but smile back. For someone who has experienced so much pain, she still can glow with happiness.

The science console began to beep. Lu went back into action like nothing had happened and looked at the console.

"Colonel, I'm picking up a perimeter alert from the sensor outposts around the system…" She reported with an inquisitiveness I found very familiar. "A massive vessel has entered the system."

Kira looked at me and I looked back. We knew.

Lu finished her report, "dimensional readings coming in, they're very precise!" She seemed amazed for a moment, "these readings would make the ship…" Lu then realized what she was looking at, and a look of utter dread appeared on her face. She looked at me and found that same look on my own face and on Nerys. She finished her report. "They make the ship… cubicle…"

Fresh out of the Academy and she has to deal with humiliation from a superior officer and then fight the Borg. Nerys looked back at us, and then her face changed to be more confident. I knew her well enough to know she was probably more scared than she let on, but I almost couldn't tell. Lusara put the ship on screen, and the last hope we had that it might be a rookie's mistake faded away. In all its horror we saw a Borg cube, barreling straight for us at just under Warp Ten.

Nerys walked closer to the screen, as if looking death in the face. Then she gave the order, "Battle Stations."

The Station rang with the sound of Cardassian alarms. I could imagine all the people rushing to their quarters, all the officers rushing towards their stations… It wasn't the first time the station was in danger but considering that Bajor and the station had no way of slowing down a Borg ship, let alone destroying it, we were in a bad position.

Nerys must've had the same thought because she turned to Nog and said, "Get me Admiral Beckford!"

Nog responded as the com line beeped, "Sir, the Admiral is hailing us"

"On screen."

The Admiral's face appeared over the growing image of the Borg cube.

"Colonel, by now you already know a Borg ship is on its way to your location. We already have several federation ships making their way there but being spread so thin, they won't arrive for at least twelve hours."

"Wonderful. Is there ANY way we could've had more warning?" Nerys asked with frustration.

"Trust me Colonel, if there were, you'd have had it. I have every available ship coming to assist Bajor and even a few that we didn't think were available. Fortunately, you have a ship designed to fight them. I regret that I cannot do better."

Nerys relaxed to the Admiral, as if the two had found an understanding. "So do I admiral."

The admiral leaned forward. "If anyone can beat the odds, it's you... Beckford out."

There's nothing quite like a crisis shared to get people to resolve their differences. And that crisis was upon us.

Nerys yelled, "Prepare the Defiant for launch!"

But it was too late, Lu made her next report, "Colonel the Borg cube is approaching the station… they're hailing us…"

"Let's hear it."

You never get used to the Borg when they talk, the audio is overwhelming.

"WE WILL MAKE USE OF THE SPACE-TIME PASSAGEWAY TO ENTER GAMMA QUADRANT. ANALYSIS OF YOUR DEFENSES SHOWS YOU ARE UNABLE TO WITHSTAND Us. IF YOU INTEREFERE WE WILL RETALIATE."

The Borg cut the transmission. Needless to say, Nerys doesn't respond well to being pushed around. I don't know how but she didn't seem afraid anymore.

"Hail the Borg ship." Lu did so. "This is Colonel Kira Nerys of Deep Space Nine. We will not allow you or any other enemy to violate our space and threaten us without a response. If you attempt to enter the wormhole we WILL interfere"

The Borg responded, but not with words.

"The Borg are charging weapons!" Lu said.

The station shook as our shields were impacted.

Nog reported, "Our shields have been drained ten percent!"

Lu next, "They're firing some sort of charged particle weapons! They seem designed to drain our shields!"

Nog again, "Well a few more of those and it won't matter how much power we put into the shield grid, it'll be useless.

Everything was happening too fast.

"Here comes another! Shields down another twenty-three percent!"

Nerys stood strong, "Fire all weapons!"

The station's photon torpedo tubes extended out from their bay and began to fire, spinning like a rigged Dabo wheel and firing one after another of Cardassian style photons. One after another hit the cube's own shields. Our phasers stormed out with terrible intensity, hitting the shields too… The Borg ship seemed unconcerned. We were close enough now that we could see the Borg ship. It was even bigger than the station. Could it even be called a starship? It was more like a mobile space station all its own. Worf told Jadzia about fighting the Borg, and Curzon was reaching the end of his life when the Borg attacked Earth the first time. But seeing them for myself, it's completely different. The way they steal your individuality… It hits close to home. So often they tell us that 'resistance is futile'. History shows that it's not, but face to face it begins to feel that way. I've been through hopeless battles before and come out the other side, but you never get used to it.

As the station shook again from another shield draining blast, Nog let out a cry, "Primary shields are gone, sir!" He was keeping it together so well. He's come so far after he lost his leg. Not too many years ago he would've panicked when he saw this. I hope Lu is looking to him as a model.

As the shields fell, a flurry of cutting beams, phaser blasts, and torpedoes came from the Borg ship. The station shook and convulsed. I fell to the ground from all the shaking. Consoles exploded and sparked. In space, the Borg blasted off each of our weapon platforms, fused our docking stations, and scorched much of the surface of the pylons.

Within seconds I heard Nog's voice again, "Sir! Our weapons are disabled!"

Nerys looked shocked, "ALL OF THEM?!" The station shook again, and she held onto a table to keep from falling. I tried to stand up, but the station shook again and I fell once again.

"I'm afraid so, Colonel!" Nog's console beeped urgently. "Sir, another one of those charges that drained our shields is on the way to our primary power plant!"

"Lock on tractor beam!"

"Tractor beam nonresponsive, sir!

The screen showed a massive Borg cube, imposing, firing a slow moving, highly charged point of light towards us. As the weapon approached us the Borg ship flicked away towards the wormhole and entered it. The swirling blue maw opened, and the Borg ship disappeared into the void. And then the charged weapon hit the power plant, and all the consoles became electrified. The station gave one great convulsion, and all the lights went out, leaving us in the darkness…

Chapter Five – Victory is Life

As told by Julian Bashir

Julian Bashir laid face up on the floor of his Infirmary. The lights were almost entirely off. Above him, leaning over him, was the Vorta Kilana whom he had been treating. She had severe scarring on her face but was nonetheless quite beautiful for a Vorta. He quickly gained his bearings. Kilana had been patting his head with a wet rag.

She smiled insincerely, "Doctor, I'm relieved to see you're awake!"

"What happened?" Bashir asked as he began to rise from the floor. A sharp pain in his head and a huge wave of dizziness overtook him.

"I'm afraid the Borg attack has knocked out your power grid. During the final blast you fell and hit your head on the console."

Bashir rose slowly. Sure enough, there as his research console, completely offline and unusable. "I need the emergency med kit." Bashir wobbled to his feet. I should be able to treat a concussion that way." Julian had already deduced his own condition, but he chose not to reveal that an emergency med kit wouldn't solve all the issues of a concussion, just the most serious ones. He didn't want the Vorta, whom he certainly didn't trust, to realize she had an advantage over him.

Kilana was breathing heavily, "I'm afraid I'm not fully recovered, but it will have to be enough."

Julian found the emergency kit in the corner and began to work on himself. First the head, then the dizziness, as well as an anti-nausea hypo just in case.

He then hit his combadge, "Julian to Ops." His badge made a sound indicating an error. He hit it again, "Julian to anyone on DS9?" Again, another error.

Kilana spoke up, "on foot then?" She said it as if they were going on a friendly stroll and not in a life-or-death struggle.

From the other room, Terin Holm hovered in, still in the Infirmary after his physical. Seeing this relieved Julian great deal, "glad to see your hover chair is still working." Julian held his head as he rose to his feet again, recovered for the time being.

Ensign Holm responded, "It seems as though it's the only thing that is working right now. Don't worry, we'll get through this. Remind me to tell you about the time one of Varal's hosts survived a monsoon on Teligia V. Massive power outages…"

Julian smirked, choosing not to say anything about how those two situations weren't remotely comparable. Julian got to the Infirmary door which had been closed and wouldn't open due to the power loss.

"Kilana, help me get this open." He requested.

Terin interrupted him. "I'll help too." And he got up from his chair. It wasn't a good idea, but Julian chose not to object. Kilana pulled from the right, Julian from the left, while Terin pushed out with both hands from the center. After a moment of effort, the doors opened. Terin nearly fell but caught himself on his cane and then returned to his chair, breathing forcefully.

Ahead of them Julian saw Quarks, a few emergency lights had flickered on. To the right of the doors were Nog and his crew of engineers. With only a handful, repairs would take days.

Nog was giving orders, "Life support and repairs to the Defiant's docking bay are first priorities, The port is fused and the Defiant cannot undock to pursue the enemy. There are no Runabouts available as their docking bays are fused shut, so we will need thruster suits and zero-gee engineering kits. Remember your zero-gee repair training from the Academy, and those of you who served in shipyard? I'll be counting on you." Nog had become an outstanding officer, but it was still strange seeing him do the job that used to be Miles'. "Styles, Lethalin, Atrax, Garvus. You'll be working on restoring life support. Work quickly or soon we will all be out of air to breathe. Tyler, Jacobson, Endain. You'll be working with me on the Defiant, get a thruster suit, tool kit, Dramamine if you need it, and meet me at airlock one. We will have to maneuver from space to get there since the airlock is fused. Move out!" Then they all marched off.

To the left was the rest of what could laughably be called the senior staff. All of five officers minus himself, Terin, and Nog were there. Kira, Ezri, Ensign Belli, and Commander Vaughn. Kira has a couple bruises, Ezri's hair was ruffled, and Belli was holding her ear as if in pain. She was looking at the ground as if she didn't want to be seen. Julian took the med kit and approached them.

As he got closer, he heard Kira talking, "Ops is completely shut down, life support, transporters, docking bays, weapons!?... What I don't understand is why they didn't just destroy us?!"

Vaughn gave her an answer, stiff and straight as always, "the Borg will not expend more energy than required for their current objective."

Kira looked back at him, "You mean… they were saving energy for something else?"

Vaughn nodded, "Using it on us would've been a waste of resources."

Julian reached Colonel Kira. "Colonel. Let me treat those wounds."

"I'm fine Julian." But he scanned her anyway.

"The wounds are fairly superficial; it seems you're correct." He scanned the others. Next was Belli. "How bad is the ear pain?

She wouldn't look at him, "not bad, they're just ringing and aching… a little." She didn't want to discuss her ears.

Julian finished his scan and rested a hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry, you're going to be alright. The damage is minor so the ringing should stop soon, the pain will eventually subside as well."

Ezri was the next patient. He scanned her. "And how do you feel?" He smiled at her involuntarily.

"A little shaken up… but I'll be okay." She was hiding some of her feelings, he could tell, but physically she was okay.

Vaughn was the final patient, but the moment Bashir began to scan him he firmly blocked the signal with his hands. "No" he told Bashir.

After a brief stare down, Bashir relented. "Very well, sir. But as your Doctor I'll expe-"

Vaughn interrupted again, "I will let you know when I need medical assistance doctor."

That man was impossibly intimidating.

The good Colonel Kira posed a question, "Where's that new security chief of ours?"

A commotion at Quarks, which had many huddled people in it, suddenly began. Julian heard gasping and shouting. He could hear what a few of them were saying. "He's got a gun!" Everyone perked up, then ran to Quark's.

When Julian and his company entered, they saw Quark ducked behind his bar, while two of the Jem'Hadar guests stood face to face. One had managed to procure a phaser and had it set on setting number ten, strong enough to kill. The Jem'Hadar had the phaser turned to his own chest. Several of the Jem'Hadar were behind him and several others were behind the other Jem'Hadar: the Second, Sect'Ikon. Kilana began to push her way through the crowd. As she did so we heard the Jem'Hadar arguing.

The suicidal Jem'Hadar spoke, there was a great distress in his voice, and his eyes were wide; paranoid, "We pledged our loyalty to the Founders, and we have failed them. We endured defeat at the hands of the Federation, Romulan, and Cardassian dogs. Now these cybernetic beasts challenge us and we lose again! And still, we live?! No! Victory is life! I did not attain victory! I do not deserve my life! I disgrace the Founders! We all do! We sit on this crippled station freezing until our last breath! I will not allow such a death! A death for the weak!" Upon closer inspection, Julian saw his tube of Ketrecel-White seemed very low, as were the other Jem'Hadar.

Julian looked over at Nerys and noticed she seemed more deeply affected by this than even Ezri or himself. He couldn't help but think of Odo. Odo would never have allowed this.

Sect'Ikon spoke to his underling, "you are the Fourth, I am Second. You follow my orders in absence of the First! To serve the Founders, we must find victory. The Founders decree we are to fight another day. We do not yet have our lives, but we will! Remember… obedience brings victory!"

The Fourth responded with pure contempt, "Lies! Your promise of victory is hollow, we have endured too many defeats! Obedience did not bring victory! And we will not endure this disgrace any longer!"

Kilana reached them and spoke up with more forcefulness than Julian expected from such an apparently soft woman. Vorta are skilled spokespeople. "Fourth! I am the Vorta and I command the Jem'Hadar in place the Founders! You will put that weapon down! No glory is gained for the Founders by suicide!"

Sect'Ikon lashed out Kilana, "Stay out of this Vorta! You know not of which you speak!"

Kilana looked utterly offended, "I beg your pardon?!

But Sect'Ikon was right, she did more harm than good. The Fourth was crazed with hatred, "GLORY TO THE FOUNDERS?! What glory is left?! The Founders retreat from war. Is there is no use for Jem'Hadar?"

Sect'Ikon barked back, "We must now protect the Founders!

The Fourth was not hearing it, "The Founders? GODS of great powers, so great they change form to any they wish and exist in perfect harmony?! Such beings should not need protection. Gods require servants! Territory! They bred us for war! For VICTORY!" He looked behind him at the Jem'Hadar who were on his side as if seeking their approval. Each of them nodded a couple cheered "Victory is life!"

Sect'Ikon seemed to be struggling, as if convinced by the Fourth's words. Kilana too was at a loss for words, though she also seemed angry that she had so many disobedient Jem'Hadar.

The Fourth seemed to have a realization and moved the phaser away from his chest. Julian and Ezri began to snake through the crowd slowly. Nerys was scanning the room for signs of something, or someone, and getting more and more angry.

The Fourth looked at Kilana but spoke to Sect'Ikon, "But perhaps you are right. If the Founders do not need victory, then we will find our own victory!" He then pointed the phaser at Kilana. "The Vorta have never understood the Jem'Hadar the way the Founders do. In a world of peace… they do not bring victory. But they can be cleansed. All the pathetic races will be cleansed! And then we shall have our victory!"

Sect'Ikon shouted, "NO!" and grabbed The Fourth's arm, as did one of the men behind him. Kilana ducked out of the way, and the phaser fired at the ceiling, bringing down a piece of a bulkhead on the crowd. The crowd screamed and ran, except the Starfleet officers and Quark who had begun to scream himself. Kira found her way around to the back of the Fourth and grabbed him. One of the Jem'Hadar behind the Fourth then grabbed her and they struggled. Kira was hit in the face once and knocked back against the bar, then the Jem'Hadar pulled a knife. The two clashing groups of Jem'Hadar then all began to fight as the first weapon was drawn. Meanwhile, the Fourth had managed to break away from Sect'Ikon and pulled a knife of his own on Sect'Ikon's man. The Fourth then stabbed him.

Sect'Ikon cried out, "Augh!" and charged the Fourth. Julian heard Ezri cry out "NERYS!" Once he looked over, he saw the aggressive Jem'Hadar about to stab her, Ezri was trying to save her. Before she could however, a pinpoint disruptor blast hit that Jem'Hadar in the hand and he dropped his knife. Then he was shot in the head and collapsed, dead. Everyone looked up to see someone in the shows at the top of the balcony. Everyone scattered, and the remaining aggressive Jem'Hadar activated their shrouds and scattered away. They would be a threat again…

By the end of the altercation, the only Jem'Hadar that wasn't aggressive, or dead was Sect'Ikon. He leaned over the body of the Jem'Hadar who tried to save him.

All he said was, "…He would've been my Third…" Julian had never seen a Jem'Hadar show remorse over anyone's death, not even one of their own…

Julian began to scan all injured or dead parties to see if he couldn't heal them. Ezri had gone over to Kira and help her up from the bar.

"Are you okay Nerys?" she asked with trepidation.

Kira rose and dusted herself off, then put a hand to her head. "Yeah," She winced in pain. "I think so…" Several Starfleet security officers came from around the corner, looking very skeptical.

Quark rose from his bar slowly and shyly asked, "Is it over…? Down from the steps came Ro Laren and he ducked under the table again. She was holding a not entirely legal sniping disruptor and wearing a stealth suit. Also, not entirely legal. She didn't seem happy. The moment Kira saw her she charged at her and got in her face.

"WHERE WERE YOU?! Where was station security?! You were supposed to PREVENT trouble!" She demanded.

Ro didn't miss a beat, "What?! I was here the whole time; my deputies were just outside. Everything was under control. That is until YOU decided to intervene." Ro was angry and had no respect for Starfleet protocol, Julian thought, but he noticed she didn't seem as angry as Kira, in fact Ro seemed more indignant and annoyed at Kira, as if she were wasting time by even talking to her.

Kira jumped right back down her throat, "Well I wouldn't HAVE to intervene if YOU had been doing your job!"

Ro retorted, "Oh I suppose that you wanted my deputies to charge in and escalate the situation? Even when outmanned AND outgunned?"

Kira scoffed, "oh PLEASE. There are plenty of ways to deescalate a situation that don't involve shooting people from the shadows. Our last station security chief never even had to pick up a gun to do his job! Where did you even get these?!"

"Tch!" Ro responded, "I suppose you expect me to shape-shift my way through here? But I'm not a shapeshifter, am I?! You can't expect me to keep this station safe with virtually no staff without getting a little creative. I need a gun to do my job and I need stealth on my side. It's what I do. I would've taken out whoever needed to be taken out if things didn't settle down. But then you got in the way and the entire group erupted into chaos. Instead of just one Jem'Hadar, I would've had to kill them all! But I had to save YOUR life instead. And as for where I got the equipment? Well, let's just say that station security had to get a lot friendlier to the local markets."

Kira's eyes grew wide, and she turned on a dime away from Ro and towards the bar. "QUARK!" she yelled.

As she got to the bar Quark got up, laughing nervously and putting on his usual slimy backsliding. "Nerys. I know what you're thinking but-"

He couldn't finish before Kira grabbed him by the collar and rose him up over the bar. After she did that he panicked, "COLONEL! I swear I only sold to station security, my days of selling weapons to anyone else are still over, I promise!" Kira then threw him against the wall in his bar. Not terribly hard, but enough to make a statement. Kira looked at Commander Vaughn, and then the rest of the Starfleet crew. Julian didn't like it, but he realized Ro may have a point, even if she made it poorly. Kira seemed to be realizing that herself, but she was too proud to admit it.

She then walked over to Ro, still furious but more controlled. "Fine. We'll deal with this later. But I'm warning you Ro Laren, pull a stunt like this again, and I'll ruin you." Ro just rolled her eyes. Nerys continued, "In the meantime..."

Ro interrupted her, rolling her eyes, "In the meantime, I need to find the invisible Jem'Hadar wandering the station before they kill anyone. I know."

And Ro just walked off, signaling a few of her deputies to follow her, but she didn't seem concerned if they would or not. Some of the deputies obliged her, a few looked at Kira who nodded back to them. They wanted permission from a different officer before proceeding. Now that they had it, they followed as well.

The crowd outside dispersed. A few people, including Morn, came back in. Sect'Ikon was still leaned over the body of his friend, but he was not looking at him, he was looking straight ahead, as if in some sort of meditation.

Kilana found her way next to Julian and Kira. She made a request of Julian.

"Doctor, I'm sure you'll agree we'd like to be able to capture the other Jem'Hadar alive, to avoid any more deaths. I have a great request of you. The Jem'Hadar are tortured souls, they need the Ketracel-White but they don't have it. If we can get it to them, they may still return as loyal servants of the Founders. The founders have a great love for their subjects, Doctor…"

Julian didn't flinch at her words; he knew they were lies. "Really, is that why they made them dependent on a drug to function and engineered them to be killing machines?" His face was stone cold.

Kilana feigned shock, though some of it seemed a little genuine, "Of course gods love their subjects Doctor! They designed them to be who they are, a great gift! How is that not love?"

Julian saw no point in arguing, "Nevermind. Look you don't have to convince me to help them, I'll do what I can to replace the white. But you should know I've tried in the past without success."

Kilana seemed unconcerned with that, and returned to her usual feigned politeness, "Thank you for your great kindness doctor. I'm sure whatever you can come up with won't compared to the Founders' work, but I have faith that, with your enhanced intelligence, you can craft an acceptable substitute until they can return to the Founders' grace!"

Dominion intelligence was good, she knew who he was before she even arrived here. Julian felt exhausted, he looked over to Kira who nodded in approval at the plan. Julian walked over to Sect'Ikon. He spoke with a certain grimness to respect the pain he was going through.

"I hate to ask this… but… it would be helpful if I could get a small sample of the white. But I realize you have… very little left…" He looked at the dwindling container.

Sect'Ikon didn't speak to him. Kilana tapped Bashir on the shoulder. When he turned around, she was holding a full container of white.

Julian felt rage building within him, "You kept a last container of white from them? They could've divided that to stay sane a longer, that might've prevented this whole incident!"

She feigned shame, as she feigned everything, "I knew that there was tension among my men, one loyal Jem'Hadar might remain among them if there was to be a fight. I needed to make sure whoever remained was loyal to the Founders… But don't you see Doctor? Now you might be able to save everyone that's still alive!" She wasn't angry, but nothing she said was honestly felt. Julian began to wonder if she ever had a genuine feeling besides loyalty to the Founders. And that was to say nothing of what Odo would think of this. But he was only one man, it takes time to change minds, even the Founders'. He couldn't help but realize all of Kilana's beauty had faded away from his point of view.

She leaned down, to Sect'Ikon and spoke to Bashir. "If I give you what is left of his White, he will take this full container. You'll have your sample, and I don't lose my…" She turned to him with warm admiration. Just when Julian thought she felt nothing at all… her eyes began to moisten. "My First…"

She set a hand on Sect'Ikon's shoulder, "First Sect'Ikon. Are you loyal to the Founders?"

Sect'Ikon didn't look at her or even open his eyes, "I pledge my loyalty to the Founders, from now until death."

She removed the old vile of white from his neck, only a small portion sat at the bottom, and handed it to Bashir. A few tears found their way down her cheeks, "Then receive this gift from the Founders…" She placed the new vile in his socket. He let out a sigh of relief and opened his eyes, but he didn't seem happy. She finished, "May it keep you strong."

Kilana, stood up, looking defeated. As she passed Julian, she looked up at him. He couldn't help but see some sort of beauty again.

Kira's combadge beeped, it was Nog, "Colonel. Chief Engineer Nog reporting! My crew working on life support managed to repair the transceivers for the com system while they were there so if you switch your communicators to ground-based mode, they should be working again, but I'm afraid that's all they could manage. As for life support itself, it looks like that is going to be a bit more complicated than we thought. You see the system is repaired, but there's no power to put into it, even our backups were drained. So, as we repair systems and they recharge, life support will get more power. We have some support back on but until we get further on our repairs, it will be offline again in a matter of minutes. We may have just prolonged our lives until we suffocate."

After absorbing the situation, she replied, "Stick with it Nog, and good work."

"Thank you, Colonel! Nog out."

Ezri tried to lift everyone's spirits, "Glad it's not me out there in one of those suits, I'd be SO space sick." She smiled nervously, but when no one said anything, she looked down in shame. Julian appreciated the gesture though and smiled at her. He always felt Ezri was underappreciated. But for now, he had to focus. Julian headed back to his lab, sample in hand. Sect'Ikon and Kilana followed him. He had his work cut out for him.

Chapter Six – Body Parts

As told by Ezri Dax

The remaining nurses who weren't killed in the Borg attack took the dead Jem'Hadar. I felt more dread and uncertainty than Jadzia felt the first time she almost died. Or was that the second? Wasn't there a third time actually? I didn't even know anymore. But a confrontation with the Borg? Just after the war? Things weren't looking good. Though it's hard to call what the Borg do war. More like… harvesting. I needed to shake this feeling… I knew it wasn't a healthy choice, but I was already at Quarks and feeling powerless so I decided to get a drink. It's becoming my personal catchphrase: "Nothing simple for Ezri." Deep breaths Ezri… Deep breaths, I told myself. You'll make it through, one step at a time.

I sat down at the bar, there wasn't much to do but wait for Nog and his crew to finish anyway. I found myself there with the new Ensigns, Lu and Terin. I was on the far left, Lu in the middle, and Terin on the right next to Morn. Quark was pretty shaken, so I decided to reassure him.

"Don't worry about Nerys too much Quark, she's been under a lot of stress lately." I told him.

He didn't seem reassured, but he adjusted his colorful outfit and dusted it off, "We ALL have, that's no excuse to start throwing innocent men against the walls! I mean I make a charitable donation and a BARGAIN price to station security, and during a crisis, and THIS is the thanks I get?" He sighed and started wiping down glasses and organizing the bar. Some of his waiters started moving the broken pieces of the bar out. After a sigh he moved on. "Anyway…" He continued. "The replicators may be offline, but I do have some stuff in stock, what'll you have?"

I smiled at him. Talking to Quark always helps, provided I do it carefully. "Do you have… a Risian martini?" I smirked at him. Risian drinks are very expensive, I knew there was no way he had one in his stock, his bar isn't the most lavish there is. He got the joke.

Quark laughed, a little suggestively, "Y'know… I always said you had a good sense of humor Dax. But really, what'll ya have?"

I didn't even care that he was trying to flirt with me, he knew it wasn't serious. Besides, I was used to it at this point. And if he did try anything I'd just remind him I'm seeing Julian. He thinks of me ending up with Julian as a failure on his part. Though, it makes me pretty uncomfortable he tried to drag Julian into fighting over me…

I regained my focus, "In that case, I'll just have a Bolian lemonade, made special."

"Comin' right up." He winked at me. A few moments later I had my drink.

He turned to Lu next. I got a little bit nervous when he did; I had no idea how this would turn out…

"Another Ferengi in Starfleet…" He said 'Starfleet' with a hint of disgust. "So soon after Nog, too. Must be my Rom's doing. So, you couldn't make it on Ferenginar? I suppose you'll want an Earth drink, sir?"

I tried to be gentle with him, "Uh… Quark…" I knew he was under stress but that was no excuse to be so crass. But I didn't think he was aware he shouldn't call her "sir." I didn't understand why he did though, she doesn't seem like a man at all to me. Maybe because she's a Starfleet officer?

He looked at me with very genuine confusion, "What? I just want to know what keeps making male Ferengi reject our way of life."

I was about to try to explain when Lu uncrossed her arms. I almost expected her to retreat like she did with Vaughn, but she didn't. She gave a pained smile and said, "That would be ma'am actually. 'She' as well. I'm not a man."

When she uncrossed her arms, you could see she had breasts, and Quark began to lean in and squint, examining her body suspiciously. I knew Quark was a pig sometimes, but I couldn't stand to see Lu treated this way. But she seemed okay and was standing strong. I couldn't help but think of Jadzia and how she could tolerate all those eyes on her, examining her body. She took it as a compliment most of the time, but never tolerated anyone treating her like an object. But I don't feel the same way. To me it doesn't feel like a compliment, it's insulting, and sometimes a little scary. I could only imagine what Lu must feel. I found myself wishing for Jadzia's strength so I could give it to her.

Quark was still examining her closely. The other Ferengi in the bar were eyeing Lu and whispering. I couldn't hear it but I'm sure she could. If she could hear it, she didn't show it.

Quark appeared to come to some sort of conclusion about her, "No no, those lobes are the lobes of a male Ferengi!" Quark was feeling proud of himself, as if he had just thwarted some sort of deception. He smiled with greedy triumph, some of his waiters snickered and pointed. Lu's expression didn't change. I started to think of Nerys… Lu's endurance of this reminded me of her...

Quark continued his speech, "I've been tricked before when a fee-male Ferengi made me think she was a man. But this time it's the other way around. Thosebreasts of yours are fake! No matter what sort of hormones you've taken." He leaned back over the counter, investigating her again. "What I don't understand is why? I know what it takes to convince someone that you're not really who you are, I've done it myself, in just the way you're doing now. It was HUMILIATING!" Quark began to look disgusted, shaking his head and wrinkling his nose even more. "Why would you… debase yourself by pretending to be a fee-male and then join Starfleet? Starfleet! Where you can't even earn any profit! Look what's happened on Ferenginar? When you lived there did you willingly stay home, and disrobe like a proper fee-male? I'll bet you didn't! And do you know why?" He paused and leaned closer. "Because what Ferengi male would want to do that to himself?"

And that was that. Quark was done. I thought of Quark as a friend right up until that moment, now I felt ashamed for ever having called him such. Jadzia would be ashamed, too, I could feel it. All this time I had hped, as did Jadzia, that Quark's experience would have taught him something important, but he was just as sexist as ever. Ihad to admit that, while I wasn;t the victim here, I felt a little betrayed too. What must he think of other women if he has this low opinion of Lu? What must he think of someone who isn't all she appears to be on the outside?

I got up and put a hand on Lu's shoulder, scowling at Quark, "C'mon… let's take our business elsewhere Lu."

But Lu stopped me, holding a hand on my shoulder. Then she stood up. Put her hands behind her back and looked Quark in the eye.

She cleared her throat and put all her effort into her voice with a proud Ferengi femininity, "You want to know why I left Ferenginar, Quark? Because despite everything the Nagus does.. Ferenginar is still filled with men like you. Eager to control everyone's lives, eager to extract everything they can from everyone they can. Legally I could leave, I could be who I am. But men like you? They make life on Ferenginar a living hell. You treat ferengi women as if we aren't fit to stand in the same room as you, and act like it's a courtesy. And when you do that, you teach everyone around you that being a woman is only one measly little thing, and that it's a bad thing to be." She leaned in closer to him and her voice broke a little, "and everyday young Ferengi grow up confused, hating themselves, and wondering why in world they can't just be what's expected of them, why they look in the mirror and feel wrong. Some of us don't make it, Quark. And the rest of us? We leave… There's no place for us on Ferenginar. But out there…" she gestured to the windows in the Promenade and the stars, "out there there's a place that won't to change who you are. It isn't perfect, but in a galaxy filled with little Dominions… it's the one place that doesn't care if you're an 'improper man,' an 'improper woman,' or if you bring shame to your family…" She paused, holding the lump in her throat back. "And that place, is the United Federation of Planets. It's a shining light across the galaxy, trying it's level best in a sea of darkness…" she looked to the side, a couple tears escaped from her eyes. Then she looked back at him, unafraid. "And I'm sorry that you can't see that." And then she walked out, putting a terrible speed in her step.

Quark watched her leave, stunned, but indignant. I don't think he expected such an emotional response, in fact I think he expected her to get angry and scared… but she didn't. I hadn't noticed it but some part of me had become a bit emotional, too. I glared at Quark, making sure he made eye contact with me when I did. When his eyes met mine though, I couldn't keep up my glare. I just felt sad. I wanted to ask him… a man I considered a friend, why he could believe those things, but I knew I wasn't the real victim here, I needed to be there for her right now. So, I left, following after Lu. Terin joined me, following several meters behind, seeming a bit tired by everything. I had never touched my drink.

I finally found Lu looking out the window, the very same one I had been looking out not so long ago. She had taken off the outer jacket part of her uniform and unzipped the front of her blue shirt. I didn't understand why, it was getting colder by the minute. As I approached, I noticed her face had become wet with tears, but she had stopped crying. One of the repair crewmen out in space floated by and waved at me when I saw her. I waved back and smiled, but she was too far away to see us. When I reached Lu, I opened my mouth to say something, but I stopped because I realized there wasn't much I could say. She was feeling alone in the universe, abandoned. I know the feeling well, and I also know there's not much any basic platitude can do.

Then I had a different idea, "…When I was a little girl and my parents were fighting, or my mother was yelling at my brothers for not doing their chores, or at me even for whatever had her upset… I would go to my room, go out to the balcony and look at the sky. A lot of the time… I would just sit there, watching the stars. Ever since then whenever I feel stressed, lonely, misunderstood… I find myself looking out there, dreaming of other places. It's… comforting." I smiled, feeling rather nervous. I could practically hear Tobin whining in my head that I had made a mistake, that she wouldn't want to hear that. But Lu turned to me and smiled. Then she looked back out there.

"I never had a balcony growing up. My family and I couldn't afford it. With how bad the economy was for workers my father could never make enough for us. And… on Ferenginar it's always raining, or worse…" She paused, I regretted bringing it up, I had a lot more than she did growing up, she didn't want to hear about how I had more than she ever did. But just as I was about to apologize, she continued, "But I did have movies… games… and if I was lucky, I could rent a space in a holo-suite in the city and play out a holo-novel. I loved all the ones about space travel…" she laughed at herself, "Even the weird ones. When I played them, I would imagine I was someone else, far out there above the clouds, free from my father's ranting about me or my mother, far from the money problems… Eventually my father kicked me out and I started a clothing business on the streets. It… didn't do very well... But after Nagus Rom allowed any Ferengi to leave the planet I saved enough to buy the cheapest ship that could go to warp that I could find. I didn't eat for whole days just to save enough money." Now there as something I had heard enough about in my life: money. With my mother it was all about quotas and budgets and profits. She didn't need but she wanted. I never considered how important money could e on worlds outside the Federation. I mean forcing people to earn money just to be allowed to live? To be free to leave home? If I had to deal with that kind of cage growing up, I don't know if I'd have made it away from my mother… I praised her determination to myself as she continued her story, "When I got my ship and rose above the clouds and saw the real stars for the first time…" She blinked several times. "It was like… all my dreams were suddenly real…" She seemed overwhelmed by all the memories, so I put my hand on her shoulder, trying to be reassuring.

She looked at me while putting her hand on her on top of my hand here it sat on her shoulder.

"Not everyone out here understands," she said. "Even the humans at Starfleet Academy gave me double looks. Terin tries to understand… but he doesn't always get it either. I knew that this assignment would have its bumps and bruises, I can handle that." She let go of my hand and turned to me, she was smiling. "The hard part is knowing that even the best among us don't understand. That I'm alone and always will be a little more alone than everyone else." She looked down at the floor, "I… was just starting to accept that as a fact of my life…" She looked back up, looking a little shy, "but… maybe I was wrong… Thank you…"

She looked down at her uniform and back to me. "My, I'd love to change out of this even just for a few minutes." She sounded as if she were going to panic if she had to wear it much longer. "Would you join me in my quarters for a bit? You look like you could use some company, too!" Her chipper nature that she had when I met her started to return.

"Absolutely!" I told her.

"Oh splendid!" And then she started talking until we reached her quarters. Even just to fill the air. About the drink she was going to order at Quark's, about her childhood pet, about the finer points of sewing, the properties of what used to be called 'black holes…' It became clear that she was rambling on as much for her own sake if not for mine. I tried to pay closer attention, but my mind drifted to Garak and helping him. I could almost hear Benjamin's voice… "I told you so!" I responded in my own head back to him, I thought you weren't going to say that 'old man.'

We reached her quarters. With all the power off we had to find out way there with flashlights and use magnets to open the doors. We got inside the room was almost bare, she barely had the chance to unpack but already I saw some beautiful knickknacks from across the galaxy. Andorian sculpture, framed Vulcan poetry, a few old Earth movies laying around. There was even a Cytherian tapestry laying wrinkled on the floor.

"Here we are, my dear!" she flung open the doors to her bedroom. "Make yourself comfortable! I'll be out shortly."

I looked around the room for a moment, eyeing some of her little art collection. In truth, it was a bit tacky in places, hobbled together without a clear theme. Somehow, I didn't think that was the point. I thought to myself "That's what's beautiful about her. She picked herself up a piece at a time and hobbled together who she is." I tried to imagine how confusing it must've been for her when she was young. It was easy enough to imagine, I was no stranger to being completely confused about hwo I am or why people treated me the way they did. Maybe that's what made us get along so well. I found myself facing the door where I saw Terin waiting outside.

"…I'm glad you're both getting along…" I held back a jump when I saw him. His hover chair wasn't that quiet, I was surprised I didn't hear him coming.

"Yeah… Me too." I said, more nervously than I expected.

There he was, the first "unjoined" Trill. He didn't seem to like me much. I couldn't shake the feeling it was because of my symbiont, Dax. The idea that you could even be unjoined seemed to make me nervous. I never really chose to get Dax. I was under so much pressure that I didn't feel like I had a choice. Doctor T'Larin on the Destiny told me I did, and I technically could have said no… But it was that or let an innocent being die... I went to Starfleet Medical. We're all about helping life forms in need. And Starfleet is about seeking out new life. I couldn't really say no, could I? Maybe it was the fact that Terin did say no. He chose lifelong disability over remaining joined. Why? Maybe it wasn't a choice for him at all? I had no idea. His psych profile didn't mention much of it, which meant that if he ever saw me for a session, I would have to explore that with him. And how much did he know about me? About Dax?

All these racing thoughts started to make my abdomen ache. Dax was getting stressed; I could feel a barrier building between us. I don't even know if I could explain it if you're not joined. Audrid might compare it to pregnancy, but it really isn't much like that. It's as if one of your vital organs had a mind of its own. But it doesn't… Our nervous systems are linked. But if I'm lucky, Dax will go on without me when I die, yet I can't survive without them. However, Dax can survive without me as long as there's another host for them. All these thoughts made me feel so alone.

I felt a cramp. We had to sit down. When I looked up for my seat, holding my stomach, feeling a little space sick, suddenly there was Terin. Much closer than before. I realized I didn't know how many minutes had passed while we stared at each other. This close I could make out more details about him. He was older for an Ensign. I could see the light wrinkles of a man in his late thirties at this distance., but I knew he was twenty-seven years old. He didn't seem like a child anymore as he looked at me. His dark brown eyes were terrifying in this moment. He knew… He KNEW what I was feeling. Is this what it's like when a host and symbiont aren't compatible? Are these the first signs of rejection? No, no, that isn't right, I thought. More than 50% of all Trill can be joined successfully. But does that make it right?

Terin touched my belly where Dax rests. He seemed warmer to me than he had been, but serious. I wish he had asked before just… touching me… He closed his eyes.

After a long moment he smiled knowingly, and chuckled, "Yes… just like I thought…"

I'd never met any Trill who could tell such detail about a symbiont who wasn't a guardian for one of the pools they live in.

I asked him, "How many hosts did Varal have before you?" I hadn't noticed until the words left my mouth how scared I sounded.

He looked up at me gravely, "Seventeen."

Seventeen hosts. Seventeen… The number echoed in my head like he had shouted it into a canyon.

"Am… am I going to be, okay?" I asked, almost begging.

He looked up at me. He had a strange look on his face that I've never seen on anyone before.

"You'll be just fine Dax. Just fine."

I felt a wave of relief at his words.

"But you need to be nicer to Ezri. You don't have the right to torture her like this. Not after all she's done for you." He spoke those words firmly. And I felt the phantoms that were wandering the station suddenly grip my throat.

I practically gasped, "Wh…what?"

He was looking me square in the eye. It felt as if he had uncovered my deepest darkest secret. But I don't know what that would be, I don't have one. Do I?

"You heard me. You're not playing fair, Dax. It's over now. It's time to move on now."

Tears were streaming down my face. I didn't feel like I needed to cry, I was just scared, but something made me the tears drop. Like I said: nothing simple for Ezri. The phantoms seemed to let go of my neck and I wasn't nauseous anymore now.

Terin then seemed to relax, "Forgive me Ezri. Sometimes a symbiont needs a firm hand."

"I…" I sniffed and my eyes stopped watering. "Thank yoy? I think?"

I turned on counselor mode. I told myself I did that so that I could get to know Terin, but the truth is I think I did it because I didn't know what else to do. I felt a little lost, a little aimless, and counseling is something I know.

"So… Terin… what's it like to pilot a ship? One of my previous hosts, Torias was quite a pilot himself."

He looked off into space, he did that a lot. There was a twinkle in his eye as he thought.

"It's… freedom…"

And that was all he said.

"Freedom from what?" I asked.

He just looked at me and spoke with more certainty, "Freedom."

Then sat in silence. I could see I was going to have to brush up on my technique.

And that was when Lusara came out of her bedroom. She was wearing a pink chiffon cropped top with long see-through sleeves and exposed shoulders. There was a black pattern on them of some kind of insectoid animal. I'm not up enough on my Ferengi fauna to tell you what it was exactly. Her belly was exposed, and she had a flowing pair of pants with the same pattern on it to match. Her outfit was far too exposed for how cold the station was getting. I was already a bit too cold, but she didn't seem to care. She also had a jeweled Ferengi headdress that Ferengi women often wear. It looked gold and had a few tasteful sequins.

When she stepped out, she seemed more relaxed and was smiling with a new feervor. She sat down and crossed her legs. "Aah. Much better," she said.

Terin said what I was thinking. "Aren't you cold?"

"Hah! Beyond belief!" she said, amused. "But I don't care. Besides, I'm used to ferengi winters. Trill wouldn't care much for it. Actually, the bugs would be a rough one for you as well during the summer months. If Ferenginar can be said to have a summer at all."

She was in such high spirits, I had to ask, "I have to say Lu you look great! That's quite a fancy outfit though, how did you manage to come by something so expensive? After what you told me about your life I'm a little surprised."

She looked at me with pride, as if she were glad I had asked. "Well, I made it myself! As much as I could! I may not mean much to other Ferengi, but if I'm dressed for respect then at least I can show them that I can look the part!"

I continued by line of inquiry, "I know Ferengi women are expected to be undressed. Is that why you've chosen something that revealing?" I wasn't sure if that was appropriate to ask that sort of thing and I regretted it the moment I said it. But Lu surprised me again.

"Oh yes," she said. "I want Ferengi to see a woman when they look at me. Perhaps my ears are too big for that but if my attire is, they might have a second thought. But these laws and customs expecting women to be nude and submissive are just insulting, and I have no desire to be fully on display for lots of reasons. It's something of a line that I walk. If dress codes weren't so strict in Starfleet I'd wear something like this every day. Or at least when I can. But I want to look I the mirror and see a woman like any other, too."

"Your image is very important to you, isn't it?" I asked.

She paused, "I suppose it is… I hope that isn't vanity."

I recoiled, feeling a little guilty. "Oh no I didn't mean that! I'm sorry."

She didn't seem concerned, "Oh it's quite alright, I didn't think you did. But in truth it seems more to me that my image is very important to everyone else. They don't even seem to realize how quickly they would judge me by it to be a certain way."

I thought about how my height makes me seem younger than I am to some people and how people underestimate me for that. But I also I found myself thinking about the Starfleet Officer's Command Handbook. At least one of the old one's from when Curzon was still at the Academy. 'A Captain's image is very important. The impression he, she, or they give to their crew can mean the difference between frayed nerves and confidence. However, a crew can sense when a Captain is not being themselves, it is a rope that must be walked with care.' The old handbook for Captains had a tendency to wax poetic a lot. Curzon always thought that was funny but secretly he liked it. He taught that to Benjamin too, and Bejamin taught it to me right back in a way. Though I'm not a Captain, but a Captain and a counselor aren't as different as you might think. At least if you're doing it right. You have to connect to the crew and they to you, just as acounselor must connect with her client and they to you.

Our communicators pinged, "This is Colonel Kira to the Defiant crew, report to Commander Vaughn onboard the Defiant."

Terin looked at me and smirked while Lu threw her hands up with somewhat exaggerated frustration, "Damn! Back to the uniform…"

I had an idea, "Lu! Wait. Let's pass by my quarters on the way back! I have something for you that might help!"

Terin spoke up, "You two go on ahead, I'll see you there." Terin's mind was clearly already at the helm. I know the look, I used to be a pilot too.

We had to keep up quite the pace to get to my quarters quickly enough, but we got my doors open. It made me wish I had run in the Academy marathon. I thought about it at the time, but I was sure I'd regret it. I scrounged around in my closet. Lu had looked over to a painting on my wall.

"This is amazing work! Who painted this!" I turned around to see what she was looking at.

She was looking at a painting my brother sent me from New Sydney's Criminal Rehabilitation Center. A small Trill woman with short brown hair and bright shining wings as big as her sits in center frame around a sea of sparse stars and dark blue nebulae. Her back is turned as she faces the brightest star and flies towards it… I thought of my brother, the painter… the killer… then my mind shifted to Joran, my host who killed three people. I felt a twinge in my abdomen again, but I ignored it.

I must've seemed nervous because Lu seemed to get less excited and more concerned. I had take quite a moment to answer her. I turned around and dug around quickly through my clothes. "Uhhh… That's my brother's work, he's a painter…"

"I see…" She said. "What's it called?

I was digging around one of my suitcases now and growing a little frustrated at my lack of progress. I stopped when I answered her question and felt my heart sink.

"Shining Angel in a Dark Sky." I said remorsefully.

Lu took a remorseful tone of her own. "Is he dead…?"

"No," I said quickly, "But he is… a bit lost…"

"I see…" She said.

I finally found what I needed. "Here it is!"

I pulled out an old-style science uniform. Old now but I was still worn barely a decade ago. It was the more feminine uniform that you could choose to wear. A professional one peace dress that stops at the lower thigh. The front of it is blue while the shoulders and back are black, rank insignia carried just off the right edge of the collar. It comes with boots that reach just under the knees.

"I used to wear this when I was on the Destiny. I know it's a little out of date but it's still regulation. I don't wear it anymore and we're about the same height I thought you could use it. Maybe it will make you feel more comfortable."

Lu was staring at the uniform like she couldn't believe she was seeing it. I was getting nervous that she didn't like it.

"You used to wear this?!" She beamed. "it's SO cute."

I was a little nervous for some reason, "Yep! The counselor I assisted didn't mind the uniform I wore." I chuckled. "I used to have long hair too. I started wearing the standard uniform after I was joined and cut my hair. I put a lot more effort into my appearance back then, but after I was joined it didn't feel right on me for some reason. To tell the truth thought I'm not sure it ever did…" I looked down at the ground. I felt a little ashamed, like I had failed as a woman somehow and I was admitting that to her. I tried to hide it though, but somehow, I knew she'd understand. "I guess I just didn't have anyone to impress anymore." I touched my head, as if to feel for my long hair and brush it aside. My hand hit my ear instead. I moved my hands awkwardly back.

Lu was holding my old clothes like they were made of gold-pressed latinum. She looked up at me with warm pride. "Well you're already plenty impressive in my book, Ezri, you don't have to try so hard." She smiled, "Thank you. So much." She got a hustle back in her step. "I better go change!" and she ran off to the center room and out of site.

I took a moment to look in the mirror. There she was, Ezri Dax. Me. I suddenly became aware of how much I had changed. Two years ago, more than my appearance was different, I was so quiet and reserved. Now I talk all the time, play war with my partner in the holo-suite, I live on station instead of a ship, I've been in battle. I wear lipstick and mascara at the most, sometimes not even that much, and I never wear dresses or skirts. I didn't even drink synthohol then. I thought it was disgusting. But the more I thought about it the more I realized I had never wanted to be Ezri Tigan. I don't know if this is what I wanted exactly but, maybe it wouldn't be so bad…

Chapter Seven – Destiny

As told by Ezri Dax

Lu and I passed by the Bajoran Temple as we jogged to the Defiant. The prylars and ranjens were lighting candles while Bajoran believers prayed to the Prophets. Jadzia and I had picked up on enough Bajoran to know they were praying for us. I decided to take it as a compliment, but privately, I thought the idea of anyone praying for me was a little unsettling. I hardly think I deserved it for one thing, and anyway I wasn't a believer. I supposed they were more praying for themselves and the hope that we would stop the Borg from being a threat to Bajor or any other innocents. When that thought passed through my mind, I realized the enormous burden we were all carrying.

We passed by the Infirmary, soon after where we found Elias Vaughn and Julian arguing, the Jem'Hadar First, Sect'Ikon, and the Vorta, Kilana, were right behind him.

Lu heard it before I did, "Uh oh," she said, and we slowed our pace to a walk.

As we got closer, I heard Julian yelling, "These Jem'Hadar need treatment! If we don't give it to them, they are going to kill more innocents. If I don't make progress on a replacement for the White, we might not have a station to come back to!"

Elias was entirely unfazed, "You may bring your work to the Defiant for further tests and studies, but you are required on board in case we need your services. The Borg are a highly dangerous enemy, and we need our Chief Medical Officer in case of attempted assimilation or combat injuries."

Julian wasn't convinced, "Respectfully, sir, I have plenty of nurses on my staff who are more than capable of performing these tasks, but here I am the only one here with the necessary skill to complete the work!"

Kilana touched Julian's shoulder, I saw him recoil, "Doctor, we can continue the work on your ship, The Founders would want us to help you save their live from the Borg, too."

Julian reacted with a cold disgust, but he was completely unsurprised, "Right... becauseJem'Hadar lives aren't as important as the Founders… Well, I happen to disagree with that."

"Forgive me, Doctor, but isn't it our choice to make if we wish to join you or not?" Kilana said.

Julian looked to Sect'Ikon, "And you? Would you just abandon your kin?"

Sect'Ikon seemed a million miles away, "I carry out the will of the Founders, I am Jem'Hadar. They may be my men, but they have betrayed the Founders. I will not. I seek to join this mission to reaffirm my duty to them."

Elias interrupted, "This discussion is moot, these are the Lieutenant's orders. It would also be invaluable to have two Dominion consultants. We will no doubt require aid to destroy the ship. Gather your necessary equipment and report to the Defiant." He turned on a dime and left to the docking bay. Leaving a frustrated Julian behind.

Julian was absolutely right, but a part of me was glad he would be close by. I felt safer with him there with me. And… I wanted to be able to make sure nothing happened to him either if I could help it…

Kilana nodded at Julian and then she and Sect'Ikon followed Elias. Julian seemed impossibly frustrated, but he relaxed when he saw me. For some reason, the fact I could cheer him up made me feel particularly good about myself in that moment.

"Ezri." He said my name like he had just stepped into a hot bath. He looked at Lu and his tone became less familiar. "And Ensign Belli. Good to see you both. Oh right, my apologies… just Lusara."

"No worries my good Doctor!" she said. "Shall we walk to the the Defiant?"

"You two go on ahead, I have to gather up some equipment." He seemed a little disappointed that he couldn't join me. "I trust you'll save me a seat on the Bridge? In case I need it."

"Of course, I will." I said with a coy smirk. Leave it to Julian to make going into battle with the Borg sound like a date. As we were about to walk off, I was feeling confident and took Julian's hand and kissed it. Usually, he's the one doing that sort of stuff to me. It felt good to flip the role a bit.

Lu and I reached the bridge of the Defiant. There was a sense of fear in the air, and tension between the Captain and the rest of the crew. Lieutenant Jeresh, a Bolian woman, was assigned first officer and tactical. Nog was at his engineering station, and Terin was at the helm. He seemed very at home there and was the only one who wasn't afraid. He and Elias that is.

I walked up to Commander Vaughn and stood at attention, "Lieutenant Dax reporting as ordered, sir!" I remembered the times I've been through the Academy. All three times. You feel the boot the hardest when you're a cadet.

Vaughn didn't even look at me, "Take the comms position, Lieutenant."

"Yes, sir!"

Lu was right behind me; she didn't stand at attention, and she seemed more confident than before. "Ensign Lusara Belli reporting, sir."

He turned to her from the chair and raised an eyebrow, "Why aren't you in standard uniform, Ensign?"

Lu took a pause, steeling herself. I found myself cringing as I overheard it, too. I felt like I had put her in this position. I should have waited until after the mission to give that to her, I thought, but I got too excited.

Lu answered her Commander, "I believe it's still within regulations, sir."

Vaughn eyed her up and down as if he were looking for a reason to come down on her for the uniform, but I don't think he found anything because he didn't object in the end.

"Very well Ensign, science station." He spoke as if it were something he was letting pass for now. If he decided to come down on her for the uniform, I would have to say something to him as a counselor.

"Thank you, sir." She said back. And she took her station next to Nog. Nog looked over at her with a slight pang of disrespect but he seemed to keep it down well.

My console beeped. "The station is hailing us, sir." Vaughn ordered visual and there was Nerys. From one look at her face, I could tell she wanted to be the one in command for the mission rather than Vaughn.

"Good luck Defiant. May the Prophets guide you. I'll keep the station together for your return.

Vaughn responded, almost bored, "The mission will succeed, Colonel. Vaughn out."

I wanted to tell Nerys goodbye, but I knew Vaughn would've had a fit if I had spoken for such a reason. Nor being able to tell her goodbye gave me a wave of sadness, and something started to gnaw at me. I couldn't have told you exactly what though. I guess I just wanted to tell by best friend goodbye in case we didn't make it.

Vaughn began to bark orders, "Disengage docking clamps, thrusters at station keeping, one-quarter impulse once we clear and set a course for the wormhole."

The Defiant stuck on the docking clamps and we all jumped in unison except for Vaughn. Jeresh looked at me with a twinge of terror. I saw her just a few days ago for a session. She had just added a third person to her marriage and then all this happened, the last thing she wanted was to die out in the Gamma Quadrant. I thought of Nerys again. I don't care what kind of experience Elias has, Nerys should be commanding.

Terin started to maneuver the Defiant, trying to break loose. The ship began to wiggle more. I started to feel dizzy and a little space sick for a moment.

"Ensign Varal?" Vaughn barked, "Report."

"Rotating maneuvering thrusters, sir. Should shake us loose." He said.

"I didn't order you to do that, Ensign. Disengage."

Terin did, making very little effort to hide his frustration. He folded his arms and leaned back against his hover chair which he had next to the console. "Okay. What are you orders, Captain?

Vaughn looked like he was going to bust a vein in his head, but he held back. Probably remembering Nerys' lecture. I found myself getting angry too, but at Vaughn. Torias was a pilot and Jadzia used to pilot the Defiant all the time. I knew Terin's tactics were sound. Terin decided to take a little initiative. If it had been one of the younger Ensigns who wasn't a trained pilot maybe you'd gently pull back the reigns, or if the insubordination was due to a lack of discipline, but it wasn't. Elias has to control everything. I knew Jeresh wasn't up to the task of command. First officer maybe, but command wouldn't work, I'd met with her enough to know that. Vaughn was all we had…

Vaughn ordered Terin, "Rotate the port and starboard thrusters while engaging the foreword thrusters on full."

Terin turned around with derision, "Yes, sir."

The order was exactly what Terin was trying to do.

Vaughn let out a remark to Terin, "This isn't an opportunity to show off, Ensign. Just follow your orders."

I looked over at Jeresh, she was a million miles away… The silence in the room was terrifying. Terin headed for the wormhole and in we went. Swirls of blue and flashes of yellow greeted us. I always loved trips through the wormhole. It was one of the most gorgeous phenomena I had ever seen.

And then we exited the Wormhole. Lu chimed in for a report, "Captain, I'm picking up an ion trail consistent with a Borg ship. I've tracked it to a nearby system. The Olt system, sir."

The name was familiar to me, but I couldn't pinpoint it. Olt, olt…. I knew Jadzia had charted the systems around here but there was something about Olt…

Vaughn sprang into action, "Yellow alert. Continuous scan of that system Ensign."

"The signal is isolated on a moon around the fourth planet. No sign of the Borg ship but the signal is very strong there. It looks like they've been all over this system. It's like they're looking for something.

Kilana found her way onto the bridge with Sect'Ikon. "May I make a suggestion, Commander?"

"Proceed." He didn't look up at her.

Kilana walked around him to the front of his chair to finish.

"I can provide you with a Dominion code that we can broadcast as a distress call. The Jem'Hadar close-by, if there are any, will come to assist us in case we need aid."

Vaughn nodded, looking at her out of the corner of his eye. "Good. We may indeed need the help."

Kilana smiled diplomatically, "Considering how many ships we lost to them you will almost certainly need the help." Her tone implied that Dominion ships were superior to ours.

Nog spoke up next, "They decimated an entire fleet at Wolf 359 and Earth."

Vaughn turned to him coldly, "Commentary is not necessary, Lieutenant." Then he turned to me. "Dax, work with Kilana on sending out the signal." Each time Vaughn turned to us in his chair he had a robotic quality to him, but also and almost lazy mood. He didn't respect any of us.

"Aye, sir." I said. Kilana came over to me. I know she doesn't know me and the Kilana that Jadzia met is dead, but it was still strange that she was taller than me now. Kilana and I whispered about the codes, and I entered them in. When we finished and I was ready to send them out I felt a jolt or irrational fear about drawing in Dominion ships to help us. Or maybe it was the pervasive fear throughout the Bridge.

After putting in my earpiece to monitor I said, "Message relayed."

Kilana turned away from me and spoke to Vaughn, "It may take some time before they arrive. Perhaps an investigation of the planet is in order?"

Even Kilana was better at making the crew relax than Vaughn, and she's a Vorta. We just fought her people in a war.

Lu's console alerted her to something, "There's evidence of massive debris field around the moon, sir. Mechanical satellites of some kind but they've been decimated. Confirmed Borg weapons, sir. The planet has numerous scars. It is class M but appears unable to support life in the long term" Her console beeped again, "Sir, if I'm reading this right, there are… life forms on the planet?"

Vaughn remarked snidely, "Are there lifeforms? Be certain, Ensign."

"Yes, sir, confirmed." Lu looked exhausted from the tension. Everyone did, except Nog.

Vaughn stood up, "very well. The Borg were looking for something on this planet, there might be clues to their whereabouts down below. Jaresh, Dax, Belli, you're with me! Doctor Bashir report to the transporter room. Kilana?" He looked to the Vorta, "You and your Jem'Hadar ought to come with us to the surface as well. We may need you." He belted out orders again, "operations crewmen to the Bridge…" He rolled his eyes as he turned to the bridges exit. "However, few of you we have…"

Nog stood up. "Request permission to be on the away team, sir!"

Vaughn didn't look at him, "Denied. I need your engineering skills here in case we need to make a quick escape. You have the bridge Mister Nog…" I knew Vaughn well enough to know he saw Nog as unfit for duty. He saw everyone he didn't agree with that way. He squinted his eyes at Nog to reveal his disapproval, and then we were off. I snuck a worried look at Nog as we left. He looked ashamed of himself, but frankly he was the most qualified person to Command right now, only he had never been trained for it… We still needed far more new crew, one with experience.

When we got to the transporter room, we each were given a tricorder and phaser rifle as if we were going into combat. We weren't sure of that but even Kilana and Sect'Ikon were given them just in case. I met Julian at the transporter room, he seemed in higher spirits than the rest of us. The seven of us plus the security officer beamed down to the planet. The planet where it would all begin…

The shimmering line of transporter lights surrounded us, and we arrived on the planet. It was a little less barren than we expected. The ground was covered in sand and brown rock and the whole planet looked as if it were made of canyons and caves. In the distance were a few outdoor greenhouses with some sort of alien plants in bloom. They reminded me of Kerillian wheat, with huge buds growing off the stems, giving them a peculiar center of gravity. The greenhouses looked hobbled together out of a mishmash of parts.

Julian was looking around and squinting his eyes at all the landmarks, "I know this place…"

A man came out of the caves. He had a huge bald spot on the right side of his head, and long brown hair. He was also missing his eye and had excessive scarring across his entire face… Most of them were long healed. He was wearing what looked like Bajoran spiritual robes, though it also was patched together out of various fabrics. He also wore what looked like a simple Bajoran earring made out of rock and metal from the surrounding area. People who worship the Bajoran Prophets? Out here, I thought? But Julian seemed to know who he was.

"…Golen Shel'la?" He asked.

And the man responded with a calm serenity that seemed to shock Julian, "Hello again, Doctor. It's been many years."

"That's right…" Julian had a graveness about him when he spoke, recalling the Dominion war no doubt.

The man Julian called Golen Shel'la, continued, "I no longer use the name Shel'la. I am now Elar."

I spoke up, "That's a Bajoran name."

Elar continued, "It means 'one who seeks peace.' Which is what I have sought these past years."

Julian asked him, "Then the Ennis and the Nol have ended their war?"

A familiar woman's voice rang out from the cave where Elar came from, "Indeed they have Doctor."

Upon seeing her step out of the cave, I remarked, "Kai Opaka?"

Indeed, that was who now stood before us: Kai Opaka. This was the planet she stayed on seven years ago. I had never met her before, Jadzia only saw her once for that matter, but she had an unmistakable aura. Nerys had told me about her, how she had helped her heal from the occupation. I couldn't help but have a certain respect for her for that, even if I didn't fully understand her beliefs. She had many scars on her face and had herself lost an eye. Her robes were nearly the same as they were then but tattered and burned in many places and sewn back together in others.

She looked at all of us, as if examining our souls, pacing slowly like an instructor examining students. She turned to Elias and said, "Your uniforms are different."

Elias seemed like he could barely tolerate her presence, "We are here looking for someone."

Opaka seemed to know what he was talking about, "Yes. The Changeling. He arrived some time ago. The Borg followed soon after, but they could not find him. They wished to harm him, and we could not allow it, so we hid him."

Julian spoke up again, "They decimated the satellite system above the planet."

"I see," Opaka seemed unsurprised, "They are most brutal, perhaps even more so than the Cardassians who ran the Occupation of Bajor. But they seemed… unconcerned with us, only the technology we used."

Julian began to scan her and ask questions, "How have you managed to survive?"

She turned to Julian, "Those 'nanomachines' which kept us here also nourished us, we had no need for food. But to keep ourselves comfortable enough, we used the technology from your crashed ship and from the weapons that were used in the war on this planet."

Elar continued her sentence as a few others came out from the cave wearing similar robes, "At first we used them to aid in our spiritual journeys. With no needs we could focus on meditation and observing the Temple in the skies."

I looked up at the direction of the wormhole. This close to it you might be able to see it flash if you looked close enough at the right stars.

Opaka continued the story, "But after the Borg left us empty handed, the skies lit up around us and the first person… became hungry on this planet after seven years…" Hunger seemed to surprise her deeply as if she didn't remember what it was like to feel hungry. "We had to begin growing food."

Julian finished his scans, "Your body has no trace of the microbes in your system. Your cellular decay rates indicate you're aging normally again. When the Borg destroyed the satellites, they may have deactivated whatever kept them under control. Your body likely filtered them out naturally after that."

The Ennis and Nol who had gathered around us all began to react. Some began to cry quiet tears of joy, others stood wide eyed or open mouthed, a few looked up to the sky and smiled. They were free of the war, and free to return home again.

Opaka seemed emotional as well, "Then there is but one sign left…" She turned away, preparing to speak again, "Some weeks ago… the Prophets sent me a vision. They had not spoken to me since I was sent to this planet. It is my belief they were conveying to me that a person with a very powerful pagh will come to this planet to take us home. Once we discover this person… it is a sign that our healing is complete, and we are ready to return home and start new lives."

Kilana stepped forward to speak, changing the subject on purpose, "On behalf of the Dominion, I want to thank you for protecting the Founder, we hope to take Him home with us so He may be with His people again." She was clearly disturbed somehow by her discussing her own religion, but her gratitude was very sincere.

Opaka turned to her stared through the Vorta's soul, studying her. She grabbed her ear. Kilana looked at her with a strange fascination, but her discomfort was apparent. "Is this some sort of… Bajoran greeting?"

Opaka ignored her question and instructed her with a soothing tone, "Breathe, child… breathe."

Kilana smiled, clearly amused by this gesture, and did as she asked.

After a moment, Opaka smirked and shook her head no. "I'm afraid I cannot assist you, my child."

Kilana seemed almost frightened by Opaka's response, "Forgive me, Miss Opaka, but for what reason do you deny us?"

Opaka looked back at her, dead serious now, "One must not look one's Gods in the eye, my child. You may not be able to handle what you see." Opaka finish with a knowing smile. She looked at Kilana as if she were a confused child.

Kilana seemed affected by what she said, and offended. She turned to Sect'Ikon and began to whisper to him.

I whispered to Lu who might be able to make out her words, "What's she saying?"

Lu answered, "Let's just say… it would be better if we found the Changeling first."

Opaka continued her methodical walk over the group and appeared before Elias next. She smirked and shook her head 'no' without even touching his ear. I felt a certain satisfaction seeing him so easily dismissed like that, it must have damaged his ego.

She turned to the rest of us and announced, "I'm afraid we cannot assist you in your search, the time is not yet right." The Ennis and Nol looked remorseful, their hopes shattered, but resolve also painted their faces. IT was as if they somehow knew they were to go home one day, if not today. They returned to the caves slowly, retreating into a mediation of some sort.

Elias was furious but he knew better than to threaten one of Bajor's most trusted spiritual leaders, "Very well, we shall find him ourselves then!" He ordered us to break off in pairs and begin a tricorder sweep of the surrounding caves. I found myself staring at Opaka for a moment. I felt suddenly very guilty about being on this mission, but I couldn't figure out why. Elar watched me as well, with a vague suspicion on his face. What they each were thinking was difficult for me to say.

I ended up with Julian when we paired off. I did that on purpose since Vaughn didn't seem to care much who we paired with. We had been scanning for hours now and had found ourselves in caves far from the settlement. He and I had kept up a good pace, I was actually having a little fun, especially being away from all the tension. I was finding myself actually enjoying being more active, I spend so much time sitting and talking, it was nice to get in touch with my body again and go explore. Julian was a little disappointed though, I think he was bored with the lack of holographic dragons or Spartans. I had unzipped and untucked the jacket part of my uniform because I was getting a bit warm.

Julian was making some conversation to me about the scanning, "You know it's ironic, we developed this technique during the war to help discover Changelings who would attack us, but by the time it was ready we were at peace. And now we're using it to rescue a changeling instead. Poetic in a way don't you think?"

I was only kind of paying attention, I was finding it hard to focus on much besides the work. We had reached a large chamber, water was dripping from the ceiling and puddling in the corners and the caves broke off into larger tunnels.

"This looks like a good spot," I said. I started to tinker with my tricorder a bit, setting up the scan routine for a wide field. Julian looked at me from across the room, smiling with a kind of veneration. As I was finishing up, I glanced at him. The look in his eyes caught my attention.

I smiled and turned to face him, "what is it?"

He seemed embarrassed, "Oh it's just that the way you look when you tinker with things, you're like…"

He stopped and chose a different thing to say, "You look beautiful."

I smirked and coaxed him, "That wasn't what you were gonna say, c'mon."

"Well, it just… in a way it reminded me of Miles, that's all." He seemed a little sad to admit that, even though Miles was his best friend.

I closed my tricorder and set it on a tall rock nearby while it prepared the scan and I opened my heart up a bit more, frowning in empathy. "You miss him don't you…?" I asked.

"Yes…" he said, and a gloom fell over him. "We send letters, the occasional holo-message, but it's not the same… He has his family on Earth, and so many classes to teach. He has a lot of old friends on Earth too…"

I rubbed his shoulder… And then I had an idea… The idea made me smile, which he noticed.

"What is it?" he asked.

I didn't say anything and just started rummaging through his pockets. Sure enough I found a familiar isolinear rod from the station. "I knew it." I said, winking at him. I walked over to my tricorder, pushed a few buttons and left it open with the rod, connecting the two to play music. The soothing voice of Vic Fontaine soon came over the tinny little tricorder speakers. He was singing The Way You Look Tonight.

I put my hand on his hip and led him into a slow dance. It was very unusual for me to lead, he was usually the charmer and the initiator, but something had come over me. He smiled at me, showing his teeth which, he rarely did. He fumbled a bit and braced against my shoulder for his positioning like it was the first time he had ever been led during a dance. Maybe it was? It wasn't my first time leading though, but it had been a while...

~Someday… when I'm awfully low… and the world is cold. I will feel a glow just thinking of you. And the way you look, tonight.~

I looked in his eyes just the way he'd looked at me so many times: like he was the most beautiful woman in the world. It was working, he started to laugh, and he couldn't maintain eye contact. It was contagious.

~And your cheeks so soft. There is nothing for me but to love you. Just the way you look tonight~

I put my hand on his cheek and brushed his hair a bit. He was starting to lean into the dance a bit. I smirked and said, "Have you ever thought of growing out your hair? It would look nice that way."

I was just kidding around, but privately I had thought the same thing before. He responded with a chuckle... almost a giggle really. "A short haired girl and her long haired man? It would be something like 1960s Earth"

"I know it's your favorite part of Earth history. Why not grow it out? It could be fun." I said with wink.

~With each word… Your tenderness grows… Tearing my fear... apart~

I gave him a spin, which nearly caused him to fall over since he's almost two meters tall and I was barely over one and a half meters, but it didn't matter. We both laughed, a little out of practice. When he spun back to me, I held him close, with his back to me and my arms around his waist. I couldn't quite get my chin on top of his shoulder, so I just placed my head behind it instead.

~And that laugh… that wrinkles your nose… touches my foolish heart.~

I looked up at him as we swayed slowly. He was smiling like I'd never known him to smile, with pure joy. Sometimes I think people forget that men like to be appreciated too. It was better than it used to be but in so many ways gender still controlled our lives. Maybe it was just the Lela in me. She hadto fight tooth and nail for respect on Trill three centuries ago. I found myself biting off a bit more than I could chew with this dance though. Even being so obviously short, I forget I'm not two meters tall like Jadzia.

Without turning his head, Julian laid on his usual charm and said, "You know it's a shame you're not as tall as you used to be, that would make our balance a bit easier."

I don't know why but it got to me when he said it and I looked away. I hadn't realized it, but I had stopped dancing as well, too. He noticed and turned around. I was looking at the ground, hit with a wave of regret and wishing very much that I was tall again.

Julian tried to comfort me, beleivng he said something wrong, "Ezri, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it wasn't…"

I stopped him, "Not it's okay, I was thinking the same thing." I couldn't get my confidence back anymore, it was gone. And then the tricorder beeped, indicating the scan was finished, so I went to it and turned off Vic's recording while I was there.

I went back to work mode and reported the results, "None of these caverns, have any sign of changeling activity…"

Julian and I were now both in low spirits, he couldn't seem to get in the mood to work as much as I did though.

"…Then I guess it's back to the camp, we've gone as far as we can go out here." He said.

I responded, "Yeah…"

We gathered our things and left the cavern behind… and something else we could never get back…

It took us hours of walking through the caves, a little bit of climbing, a lot of sweating. It didn't faze me much, but Julian was starting to feel it. Maybe it was because I enjoyed something about it for some reason, or I just didn't care that I was tired. I had this energy I couldn't shake, almost like anger but I didn't know if it was good or bad anger. Sometimes feelings are just feelings, I reminded myself, but the energy felt so urgent that I couldn't leave it at that, and I had nothing honest to blame it on. By the time we got back to camp both our jackets were tied around our wastes and the zipper on our shirts were opened to let some air flow.

Julian sat on the ground by one of the fires. He sat fairly far away from it since it wasn't necessary really and he began eating some rations.

When he sat down, he let out a sigh, "Oh…. Somehow, I don't think we're going to find our Changeling…"

I still had something in me, so I told him, "I'll do another sweep of the main camp just in case."

He seemed impressed, "You've been going at it for hours, Ezri, I've never seen you quite so driven about this sort of thing."

I looked at him a moment before returning to my tricorder, noticing I was rather sweaty. I hoped I didn't smell bad, but Julian isn't the type to care about that sort of thing.

I responded, "I don't know, I just feel like working I guess." I couldn't really keep eye contact with him. I wanted to but I also wanted to be alone suddenly. I didn't want to be seen.

I wandered the corridors a bit, passing a few Ennis and Nol monks, before finding a small room with a Bajoran shrine and a few seats. Like all their ornaments it was a mish mesh of many things. I sat on one of the small benches and found myself staring at the shrine… I had my tricorder open but suddenly I didn't feel like scanning. I had my elbows on my knees, leaning forward, and my vision started to wander around the room.

My life had gotten so confusing. I felt trapped on all sides, even by my own choices and feelings. After a year of working through it, I wasn't much closer to understanding who I am than when I was first joined. As a counselor it's my job to help others, and I do it all day. I find it so rewarding when a client manages to heal because of something I did. After all, I want to help people. Everyone. That's why I'm out here. But with all this time working on others, I was beginning to realize I had ignored myself. I didn't have any idea what it meant to be myself really, let alone eight other people at the same time. In a way being there for others had become who I was as a person. I knew there had to be something more, but I couldn't figure out what. Then the Borg, the Dominion, and all these threats come in a scramble everything, and scare me half to death. Even Kai Opaka had me questioning if we should even be out here. I had no good reason to think that but standing next to Elias, everything he ordered felt wrong, even if that wasn't true.

I became aware of a presence in the room and turned to the entrance. Kai Opaka was standing there. When I looked at her, she greeted me with a nod. It was creepy, like my thoughts had summoned her.

"This is the room for prayers," she said. "Ennis and Nol alike share this room to remind themselves of their troubled past together, and why they must move beyond it. It took a great deal of effort before they listened to me."

"You must be very proud of your work," I said. I was serious but when it came out of my mouth, I realized I sounded a little sarcastic. If she heard it that way, she didn't give any indication that she did. She began to walk around the benches and toward me.

Again, she took a slow and methodical pace as she spoke, "People often come here when they feel uncertain and need clarity."

She didn't say it, but I could tell she thought that's why I was here. I felt as if I were under a spotlight or microscope.

I responded, "I wouldn't mind that but I didn't come here looking for anything."

"But you did come here." She smiled, sitting down beside me.

I didn't know how to respond so I just looked down. I became aware of how nervous I was to be in her presence alone. I couldn't understand why I felt like that either.

I felt the need to speak, "I… wanted to thank you for what you did for Nerys…" I realized I said 'Nerys,' who could have been anyone so I rephrased, "For-"

She finished my sentence, "Major Kira Nerys, she was here with me when I died… the first time anyway…" She spoke about dying like it was amusing. I knew what it was like to die many times, but not like that: in a pointless struggle. No goals but the death of the opponent, no beliefs except that which she brought with her. I'm not sure I could joke about that sort of thing in her place.

Opaka's insight struck me. I started to think about patients that are scared of their counselors, or their doctors. Jadzia was afraid of doctors, too. What a thing it is to be examined by another person. I did it every day to help people.

Opaka continued, "I take it Kira is a friend of yours. I'm glad she has such a young friend…" She paused, changing her tone to a lighter, inquisitive one, "Have we met before? You seem… familiar somehow."

I answered her, "Well, my last host lived on DS9. I don't think you two ever met but she remembers seeing you once."

She seemed puzzled by something else and didn't respond. Instead, she asked, "Tell me… the Emissary. How is he?"

I realized she wouldn't know what happened to Benjamin and I became apprehensive of her grief. I see grief nearly every day, I deal with it easily. I kicked myself privately for being so afraid. What's wrong with me? I thought to myself.

"He's… Well, he stopped the Pah-wraiths, I think they were called, and then he disappeared. His wife thinks he's in the Wormhole… sorry, the Celestial Temple. I guess he's learning how to be one of them? Or something like that. I don't really understand it.

Her eyes began to water and her voice broke, "Then… he is with the Prophets?"

"I guess so." I said, flinching a bit in shame. She seemed happy for Benjamin, like he had gone to heaven or something, a human concept Benjamin told me about once. Somehow her happiness made me feel worse about losing my oldest friend. She gets to feel that everything is as it should be, but I just want my friend back. My friend… my protégé turned into my mentor across three lifetimes… I missed him more than I realized.

She calmed down and the excitement in her voice grew, "Then perhaps the time truly has come."

"Time for what?" I asked. I was trying to be courteous by asking. I was a Starfleet officer. I may prefer science, but it wasn't right for me to reject her beliefs for that. Besides, as a psychologist I know the value religion can have on our mental well-being, so I tried to engage despite how uncomfortable I was. And Because Benjamin would want me to…

She spoke with a sense of finality, "…'There is a prophecy, as told by the visionary Talnot: 'After the Great War in Heaven, and the Temple burns. The end becomes the beginning. In these times, all will look toward the Mother of the Prophets, for her children are the Prophets, and the Prophets hold her in their embrace.'"

She interpreted the prophecy, "Perhaps the war with the Dominion is the Great War in Heaven or perhaps the war between the Pah-wraiths and the Prophets spoken of by Trakor in his prophecies of the Emissary. I believe the time has come to find the Mother…"

"You don't know who she is." I said to her, engaging her further, feeling more like a counselor instead of a patient.

Opaka looked at me, "There are hints, but the Prophets are unclear. Talnot wrote all those years ago: 'The Mother shall arrive home, joined at last by her eight protectors and blessed by the Prophets with new life. In return, she shall grant the Prophets their lives.'"

She continued. "The Mother is also said to be 'one among many, yet many within one.' As the Prophets are. It could mean many things… but my faith tells me the time is approaching."

It was a cute story, Audrid would have loved it, but I found it confusing. Frankly, I was listening to be polite, strange prophecies about future events that no one can control only made me feel more trapped. Any other day I would have listened more closely, but I couldn't anymore.

I couldn't help but ask. "How can this 'Mother' give birth to the Prophets if they've given her life first? Wouldn't that make them her parents?"

Opaka smiled at me as if I were a child. I couldn't help but feel condescended to. The only reason I didn't leave the room was I knew how disappointed Nerys would be if I did something like that, and I knew it wouldn't be fair.

She responded cryptically, "The Prophets are not bound by time as we are, a beginning is indistinguishable from an end. Things either are, or they are not. They are not always able to be clear to us, and they can do things that seem impossible to us."

I didn't really understand… or I didn't want to. It didn't seem to me that we should accept that we can't always understand them. We shared a long pause… both watching the shrine. I don't know why she didn't leave so I decided, even if it was rude, I should ask the question really on my mind.

"Can I ask you something Opaka?"

"Of course, my child." She responded, glad to be asked a question.

Here went nothing. "…Why devote your life to understanding vague prophecies that you can hardly understand? Living to help others I understand but… why not make your own answers? Or focus on what you can do and not what might happen?"

She looked at me again. I felt strongly that she would be upset. And yet I felt like I could tell her anything. If I wanted to that is. Opaka seemed almost impressed with me after what I asked, but there was something else behind her eyes. Something I didn't understand.

She didn't answer my question, instead she asked one of her own, "Why did you join Starfleet?"

I had to think about it. Why did I join Starfleet?

I sort of fumbled my responses, "Well, I wanted to see the galaxy, help people…"

"And you believe Starfleet helps people?" She asked.

"I suppose I do." She could tell I wasn't convincing myself, let alone her.

I recuperated and continued, "I mean I do but…"

She redirected my train of thought, "But there are many other paths where you can help people, and where you can explore space. Why Starfleet?"

She wasn't criticizing me. Actually, she rather reminded me of myself when counseling patients.

So I thought over why I joined Starfleet… I looked to the stars when I was a kid. I wanted to get away from Trill and New Syndey, away from my mother's abuse, away from money, away from myself?

I halted my train of thought. That wasn't the answer. I could have gone anywhere to escape all that, it wasn't the answer I was looking for. Why Starfleet?... I realized I didn't have an answer, or at least not a good one.

After the long pause for thought I simply said with some shame, "I don't really have an answer… I guess it just felt right?"

I felt silly. Like my whole life suddenly had no meaning. Then I looked at her, expecting a look of disapproval. Instead, I saw a face of pure joy. A face that said, 'I knew you would get it eventually.' But she didn't need to say the words. I had the answer to my question, and I didn't feel silly anymore.

We both looked back at the prayer mural, smiling. The world felt smaller, almost whimsical. She wasn't terrifying to me anymore; she was just like me. A friend. I marveled at the transformation she had made in my eyes. We sat there in comfortable silence.

Without turning back to me she asked me, "Have you ever explored your pagh, Ezri Dax?

I turned back to her, feeling genuinely curious why she asked me that. "No. Nerys asked me to join her for services once, but I turned it down. I didn't know if I would get anything out of it and I didn't think it was my place to intrude."

She just gave me ana amused look, then she turned to me and reached for my ear. She paused before reaching it and asked me, "May I?"

I got nervous. A bit like how nervous you get before your very first kiss. I felt a wave of it hit me and I was shaking. But I wasn't afraid really.

She grabbed it. "Breathe…"

I did, slowly, trying to relax, closing my eyes. I could hear my heartbeat. I didn't believe in pagh exactly. At least I didn't think I did… But I felt something rise up within me.

I heard her breathing sharpen. She opened her mouth like a gasp, but no sound came out, as if she had been overpowered by something. She fell to her knees, like she was in very real pain. She dragged me with her a moment before letting go. I opened my eyes and rushed down to her.

"Opaka?! Are you alright?!" I found myself overcome with worry for her.

She opened her eye, and when she looked at me, it was her who seemed to be afraid of me now. Or afraid of something else maybe? I felt her hand caress my cheek, her eye was telling a story I couldn't see.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked, feeling genuine concern.

She seemed to relax now, burying something, "No child. Some… Some people... have a strong pagh, so strong it can be overwhelming." She was breathing like she has just run a marathon. I sat her up on the bench.

She looked at me, excitement flooded her expression. "The time has come." she said. "Stay here" Then she ran off to another room.

How could I possibly have such a strong pagh? I didn't even understand the idea. I felt less comfortable again, almost like I had violated the Prime Directive. I wonder if this is what Benjamin went through when she told him he was the Emissary. But she didn't tell me I had any special role… What was going on?

She returned with Elar. When she saw me in the room, she had a look of pure adoration on her face. "She is the one."

I was very confused. The one what?

Elar sat down in front of me and held up his hand. His hand began to move by itself, twisting into a golden-brown liquid before returning to its place.

"You're the changeling?!" I realized.

Elar spoke, "Yes."

I found myself nervous again.

Elar continued, noticing my discomfort, "Do not be afraid, I won't harm you… Some months ago, after Odo returned to us, I left the Great Link…"

Odo had always told me how wonderful the Link was and how much the other Founders wanted him back, so I asked, "Why?"

He paused for a long time, as if labored by intense emotion. "The Dominion… has fallen apart. Odo was right about us. We were wrong about solids. I killed many solids in the war and came to regret that. The Jem'Hadar do not worship Gods in the way the Vorta do, but they need them, they are designed that way. They need something to believe, else they are incomplete. The Vorta as well. We can no longer be Gods for them, and so they find themselves without purpose, without meaning. Many have killed themselves; many have attacked us, others refuse to leave our side because they are so zealous even as it harms them to continue such beliefs."

I finished for him, "So you set out to find them new gods, or new meaning?"

He smiled. Even though he was better at looking humanoid than Odo was, the smile reminded me so much of him that I almost cried.

"You're very insightful… Opaka was right about you." He said.

I smiled at Opaka, feeling a little overpraised. "Oh well… I try…"

Elar continued, "My search was not fruitful for many months. Then the Borg invaded our space. They found that the genetic modifications of the Vorta made assimilation too labor intensive, and the Jem'Hadar were considered too… "defective" to be assimilated because of their dependence on the White."

He had the anger of a father defending his children. "So, they made a direct assault on our home world but found it too well defended. Following that defeat they began to search for Changelings outside of the Link. The hundred who were sent out, or other Changelings like myself. I suspect they wished to assimilate one of us and convince the rest of the Dominion to help us. They search frantically across the Quadrant, looking for efficient and easy ways to gain an advantage. They are afraid of something, something that is making them desperate for an edge."

I couldn't believe the Borg would be afraid of anything. "The Borg are the most frightening force the Federation has ever encountered, what could threaten them?"

Elar was as scared as I was, "Something worse… I do not know what… My studies of galactic religion yielded little results, but I knew of the Prophets from the knowledge Odo brought back with him…"

It was strange to hear a stranger speak about Odo like that: as if he were a family member. The Link must be quite the place. In a way he was closer with them than he ever was with us, something about that hurt a little but there was nothing to be done about it.

Elar continued, "…but I didn't think those beliefs would be compelling. It was only here that I realized it could be. Opaka did amazing things with this planet, and I found myself… wishing to study more. But the Borg found me first and my disguise was broken. The first man to get hungry was the original Elar, he was also killed when the Borg attacked yesterday. But when I explained my story to these people… they struck me with their ability to understand. They took me in rather than choosing to fight me. I've… even come to revere the Prophets in my own way…"

"You're a believer?!" I hadn't intended to sound so shocked, but it just sort of came out that way.

He smiled and looked at Opaka, "You've met the Kai already, she is quite compelling. She showed me that despite all the power I've held, I didn't need it… or want it. It isn't mine to have"

He didn't need to explain why really, I understood. I didn't understand how I understood, but I felt that I did.

He continued, "It was decided that I would replace Elar, live a solid life, and truly come to understand what it is like not to be a Changling. And when the time was right, bring that back to my people as Odo did, but with even more knowledge and peace to gift the Link. That time is not yet upon us, but my time on Bajor is soon coming. And it is time for all of us to return home."

I was puzzled, "I'm not disagreeing but, why?"

Opaka answered me, "Because you are here. You are the strong pagh, the sign from the Prophets."

I felt the spotlight on me again, "Well and I can get you on a ship out of here." I laughed nervously. Trying to be funny to lighten the mood.

Opaka looked at me like I had come to expect from her, with understanding and hope, yet disappointment all the same. "You do yourself too little credit, Ezri. Do not turn away from your path, it will not falter even if you wish it to."

Something in me felt wrong again I stood up, feeling scared, hurt, led around, "My path? Who are you to tell me what my path is?"

She stood to meet me, eye to eye, but she was not upset, or even disappointed, she seemed just like a mother comforting her child. "Ezri, I don't command you. I ask nothing. Your path will be yours. It is precisely that which makes it your path. What concerns me is that you deny yourself, you deny who you are. That will not change what is to come… it will only hurt you."

I felt something deep within me rising up again. I felt trapped, indignant, rebellious.

But by the time the next words left my mouth I felt a desperate, cloying need to know the answer… "Do you know who I am?" My voice shuddered as I spoke.

Opaka smiled as she always does, "No. But I know what you are capable of. And for that I choose to honor you, Ezri."

I wanted to deflect this praise for some reason, "I… I didn't do anything to deserve this. I…"

She took my hand, and in it she placed a Bajoran earring in it.

She explained, "For you, a D'ja Pagh."

In my hand was a small earring about the same size as Nerys'. They normally indicate belonging to a particular family, but I had never seen this kind before, it was circular. Three silver circles, each within the last, made up the bulk of the earpiece. Overlayed on the circles were five half spheres, each with connecting lines to the center one. They were also a silver color. One sat at the center and the other two at the four corners of the biggest circle. Finally, four small arrows in the cardinal directions pointed out of the whole piece, making the earring almost look like a tiny old-style compass. There was the chain that connected to a clip for the top of the ear, and the main piece clipped to the earlobe. It was almost disturbing. It seemed perfectly suited to my ear shape and size.

I stared at it for a moment. I did have the urge to put it on, but it was too overwhelming. Opaka closed my hands and held them.

"For when you are ready." She said.

I was at a loss for words. I opened my mouth to try to say something, but somehow, I knew nothing I would say would be helpful, so I stopped.

And then my combadge beeped and I heard Nog's voice.

"Lieutenant Nog to Defiant crew! Sensors are detecting an incoming Borg ship!"

I looked at Opaka and Elar. There was the fear again, the one I had gotten to know so well.

"Stay here!" I told them. Opaka obliged me, but Elar did not.

"Oh no," he said. "Everyone here is in danger because of me. I will do everything I must to protect them."

We walked together; power walked really. We heard Nog on the intercom again, "Theyre activating some sort of particle scattering field in the atmosphere! I…" he stuttered. "I can't get a transporter lock!"

Elias came in over the comline next, "Steady, Lieutenant! Activate the cloak and stay out of site until our help arrives. We'll have to make a ground defense!"

I heard the phrase 'ground defense,' and my experience began to kick in. My mind kept going back to AR-558, the Jem'Hadar hitting me in the face, seeing crewman Kellin dying. I was very scared, and I couldn't do anything about it. I was trapped again. On autopilot. When we got out to the entrance of the caverns, we saw that nearly the entire group of Ennis and Nol had joined us. There weren't enough Phaser rifles, so some were carrying what amounted to metal rods, throwing knives. I saw Sect'Ikon holding one of our rifles, and even Kilana. When I grabbed a rifle of my own from the stockpile, I started to feel angry. Angry at the Borg for all the people they hurt, angry that I felt trapped and afraid, and just angry. I was still on autopilot; nothing would stop me. I knelt over a rock between Julian and Lu. My eyes were fixed on the long canyon ahead as I aimed my rifle forward into the abyss.

The young crew, including Lu were shaking, terrified. Elias was barking orders, shaking people into gear. But this time we were all almost grateful for it. The time for focus had come, and it takes a lot to shake yourself into gear when you need to. Letting someone else do it can feel freeing.

As I knelt there, waiting, I remembered Reese from AR-558. He was one of the coldest officers, and one of the few to survive. Then I thought of Joran and holding the TR116 rifle as I stared a murderer in the face. I looked at the darkness of the canyon, scanning every detail. I glanced at Lu. She was doing her very best, but I could see in her eyes that she was one mistake away from panicking.

"Breathe, Ensign. Feel the air." I told her, still staring out at the new battlefield.

She seemed to relax a bit at that and tried to copy what I appeared to be doing. I don't think she understood I was scared too.

Julian turned to me and asked me, "Are you okay, Ezri?"

Without looking at him I said, "Yeah." I thought I was telling the truth, or at least as much of it that mattered, but the tension in my own voice… and the anticipation… I didn't expect that from my mouth. I almost felt like a different person.

Nog chimed in over the intercom again, "They're sending multiple transporter signals through that scattering field! That means there's a way to penetrate it. I'll start working on that. Multiple transporter signals headed directly to your position!"

Elias yelled from the back, "READY PHASERS!" He bellowed just like all the drill instructors Curzon used to work with. He said 'phasers' with a strong emphasis on the last syllable to give the Ensigns and cadets words to really focus on. He must have been a good commander when the war was still going on.

There was a terrible silence, and the wind moved to a standstill. I could hear my heartbeat. There was no way that any more than a second passed by but it felt like fifty.

And finally in the blink of an eye dozens of Borg transported in front of us. Elias called out, "FIRE!" And the battlefield was born. The blasting of energy weapons was all anyone could hear. After several volleys, the Borg adapted and more transported to the surface. A few managed to transport in behind us as well and the Nol and Ennis charged at them with handheld weapons.

Elias called out, "Rotate modulaTION!" And the volleying stopped. Each of us adjusted our rifle settings. Elias again called out, "FIRE!" The Borg began to fall again but the pause in combat allowed a few to get close.

I didn't think I could move as fast as I did, breathe as fully as I did. I felt myself on the edge of being overwhelmed at all times. But I just remembered my training and refused to let out my panic. Behind Julian and I a Borg appeared, inches way. Julian, me, and Lu all shot it at once… Nothing. They had adapted.

I cried out, "Rotate modulation!" Before Elias even could. Everyone did. Elias finished the order, "FIRE!" Meanwhile I found myself dodging a mechanical Borg fist. He had a spike on his arm and I could tell whoever the poor soul was, he used to be Andorian. His antenna had been cut off to make room for the headpiece he wore as a Borg. I rolled and dodged and let the panic out just a little. I thought of all the gymnastics Emony did all those years ago, pulling on that knowledge.

Elar shapeshifted and attacked the Borg to help us gain the advantage. The moment he did everyone stared at him, including the Borg. Now that he had revealed himself to everyone, he used his full skills and changed into Galvian hawk. He began to pick off the Borg one by one with huge talons.

Everyone began to cheer and cry out as the fight continued, it was looking up. But it wouldn't last. The Borg adapted to the last modulation of our phasers much faster. When we changed again it didn't do any good. Lu and I had two Borg on either side of us now and I had lost sight of Julian. I don't know where it came from, but I found a pipe on the ground and picked it up without thinking and began it smash into the nearest Borg. It wasn't doing much good however, so I took my phaser and heated it up until it was orange and chipped off a piece with my field knife to make it sharp. Frankly, I don't understand how I did it fast enough to avoid the Borg but the next thing I knew I had driven the sharp pipe into its chest, and it fell. A flash of one of Joran's murders went through my mind and I felt gross. But there was not any time for that. I charged after the Borg attacking Lu and killed it, too. She had been screaming in a way I only ever hear Ferengi scream, a shriek of pure fear. One the Borg was dead I helped her up. She looked at me with pure shock.

All around us people were fighting hand to hand. Opaka had been watching the battle and I moved us toward her to keep her protected. I caught sight of Ensign Jeresh fighting furiously and desperately. She hadn't noticed a Borg behind her which grabbed her head and snapped her neck. I'll never get used to the sound her neck made or forget how she just dropped like a doll… There goes our first officer, a mother and a wife. Elar was now the only one left who really stood a chance against the Borg. He was rapidly changing forms between everything you can imagine. Tarkalean razor beast, Bajoran sinoraptor, Elysian lemur. The Founders so rarely fought us in the Dominion War and usually preferred the sidelines while their Jem'Hadar did the fighting. I couldn't help but respect Elar for fighting with us.

Unfortunately, Elar soon found himself surrounded. Two more Borg drones beamed down just next to him with some sort of green and black rectangular device with an antenna on the top. They activated it and a ray of green energy hit Elar. His shape distorted and disfigured, and he let out a horrible cry that I've only heard once before. It was when the changeling on the Jem'Hadar ship on Torga IV screamed and died, unable to hold its shape. Elar was paralyzed now, and three different Borg injected their nanoprobes into him. This caused him to scream even more.

A terrible scream of rage came from Sect'Ikon who charged across the battlefield like lightning and began brutalizing as many Borg as he could. He was just about to reach Elar when all the Borg transported away with Elar. And then the battlefield was empty, echoes of the phase fire and screams still echoed in the distance. The Borg got what they came for…

Chapter Eight - Salvation

As told by Kira Nerys

The life support of Deep Space Nine was failing badly. Most of the remaining power had been diverted to essential sections. Ro and I were wearing life support masks and whatever thermal suits we could find but it wasn't going to last. I'd been in charge of the station before but nothing like this had ever happened. I failed. But it wasn't going to last, I'd make sure of that. I deliberately paired with Ro to keep an eye on her, after the stunt she pulled in Quarks I wasn't ready to trust her. She knew it too. The other security were in pairs at other points of the station. I found myself wandering the corridors in the dark with Chief Ro. The station was so quiet you could hear the echoes of your own footsteps.

Ro talked to me, breathing heavily from the thin atmosphere, "…I can't stand this, all this sneaking around in creepy corridors…"

She was already getting on my nerves, "I'd have thought you'd be used to all that sneaking around with the Maquis."

She rolled her eyes at me, something she did a lot, "I'm sure you did your fair share of sneaking around during the occupation. So did I."

"Maybe…" I said. She was right of course but that was different in my mind. I had sympathy for the Maquis, if I didn't, I never would have requested her. But she was just trying to get under my skin, and I wasn't about to let her.

We passed by some quarters and forced open the door. I went in with my scanner and visually checked every room while Ro cleared the corridor. Nothing.

Ro began to talk again, "Besides it's obvious what they're doing at this point. They can survive on less air than us so they're waiting until we're too weak. Then they move in for the kill."

I had to admit that Ro had a point, but that only frustrated me more because there was nothing I could do about it. I gritted my teeth and hit my comm, "Team one to Team four, any luck?!"

One of the young security officers answered me gasping for air, "No… Colonel."

"Take a break Ensign, that's an order." I told him.

I was feeling a little lightheaded myself. The oxygen mask was helping but it would be running out soon.

Ro and I kept searching quietly. Ears peeled for any sound, eyes wide for any movement in the darkness.

Then out of nowhere she said something, "Vedek Tissier."

"What?" I asked, wondering what she could possibly be talking about.

"That's who I'd pick for the next Kai. If it were up to me." She said.

I was surprised she'd bring this up again, "I thought you didn't care about all that."

I made no effort to hide that I wished she were a believer. An alien I can understand, but a Bajoran who had been through the occupation… I couldn't have made it out of that hell without my faith… I'm not sure I'd have been able to forgive myself. Someone who doesn't have something to believe in… something to guide you and help you heal… Let's just say there are plenty of Bajorans I know who could use that dose of humility.

Ro surprised me though, "It isn't that I don't care about it. The Bajoran religion is important to our people and that means it affects all of us. The last Kai even ended up leading the Provisional Government for a short time.

"Don't remind me," I said, thinking of Winn in the Fire Caves calling for the Pah-wraith. She showed her true colors that day.

Ro kept up her speech, "Whoever is Kai has power, whether I like it or not. I'd like to see that power used for good." She was practical, but she had nothing to believe in. She had just chastised me for making a 'political choice' mere hours ago, but now she was endorsing one of her own.

We continued scanning rooms. Nothing. Every room we cleared had me feeling more and more like we were going to die. That made me angrier and angrier. My anger is so familiar to me. Ro's conversation had actually started to help distract me from it so I decided to ask her about her thoughts more.

"So… Vedek Tissier. Controversial choice." Again, I didn't hide my disapproval. Tissier is known for teaching that the Prophecies don't matter as much as the lessons the Prophets teach with them. He's even contended that the Prophecies aren't visions of the future at all, but just like any other aphorisms. Even Antos, or Vedek Bareil, never said anything like quite like that. There was a time when that sort of thing might've convinced me, when my faith had faltered, but the Emissary restored that faith, even within his own doubt.

Ro continued, "Let's just say that I think Bajor could benefit from a more practical focus. Maybe the Prophets are gods, I don't know, but they clearly don't use the power they have to helps us, so we need to help ourselves. I say let's take what we can learn from them and go our own way."

When she said that, I knew she would never understand. I challenged her perspective, "There are some who would say that we can't afford to ignore the Prophets."

"I didn't say we ignore them, just that… maybe we shouldn't take what they say at face value. Maybe we shouldn't let them interfere in our development so much." She said in response.

"That almost sounds like a Starfleet attitude." I told her. "Frankly, I think it's a little arrogant to turn away from the Prophets like that." I said.

Ro snapped back, "Really? Well maybe it's also a little arrogant to look at all the other cultures out there and what they believe and just… discount it like they don't mean anything. Especially if we're going to join the Federation. I can give you countless examples of entities with just as much power as the Prophets who use and abuse people or dictate to other aliens that they think they're better than."

I felt insulted. She was implying the Prophet use us, that they have no love whatsoever, but I was in no mood to debate it. Still, I couldn't help but admire that she cared about Bajor. I had just assumed she didn't. I know what it's feels like to feel dictated to by people who think they're better than you. I may disagree that the Prophets are those kinds of entities, but I didn't blame her for feeling how she does anymore. And I almost hated that. I had to remember that I don't have the answer just because she isn't a believer and I am. Humility Nerys, humility.

Since I hadn't responded for a long moment, she continued, "I just didn't want you to think I don't care about our people. After we talked before, I had a feeling you thought of me as some sort of Pah-wraith cultist, or something."

We had swept the whole corridor. Still no Jem'Hadar.

"Well," I said. "I don't think Tessier is going to be chosen."

"Maybe not," she said, "but you should know where I stand. I owe you that much."

At that moment something came over our commline, it was Quark whispering, "Quark to Kira!" He seemed panicked.

I chastised him, "Quark we're a little busy right now."

Quark whispered again, "Someone's in the Infirmary! I don't think they're supposed to be here!"

"And what are you doing in there, Quark?" I asked, suspicious of him.

"As hard as it may be to believe I was lookin for some medical supplies!" Even whispering he clearly felt attacked that I assumed ill intent on his part. I had every reason too though.

"Fine. Stay down Quark, Ro and I are the closest." I said reluctantly.

Quark was whining even while whispering, "Please hurry, it's so cold, I can barely breathe."

As we got to the Infirmary, we heard crashing and fumbling as if someone was trashing the place. I motioned Ro to cover the other side of the entrance. We counted to three and moved in, aiming our rifles in unison. We saw Quark hiding behind a table while a Jem'Hadar who was constantly going in and out of his shroud was scrounging around for something.

"Alright, hands where I can see them!" I yelled to the Jem'Hadar.

The Jem'Hadar put his hands up and slowly turned to us… He had a pain in his eyes. A great desperation.

"Please… stop the pain… just stop the pain…" he huddled onto the floor and writhed. His white was dry, and he was no threat, so I put my phaser down. I motioned Ro to put her rifle at ease.

Quark got up when he heard the Jem'Hadar's plea, though he was having trouble keeping his balance.

"We won't hurt you if you don't hurt us." I said carefully.

The Jem'Hadar returned a comment, "I want to hurt you, I want… victory… but I can't, I'm a failure. I should be killed… Without victory I am only Hadar… only Hadar…"

I don't think Jem'Hadar cry, but he seemed like he would be if he was capable.

He continued, "The Founders have forsaken us, or perhaps we have forsaken them. I no longer know which. There is no victory here. No life. No one whose call I heed, no one I can kill for any prupose. The others… they wish your deaths. They wish to die as Jem'Hadar… But it is too late for that… I wish…. I wish I was never born Jem'Hadar… I wish I heard other callings besides victory in battle. I wish…"

He couldn't finish, but each word struggled to get out, he spat them with great effort. Ro and I looked at each other. In a way we both knew his pain. There wasn't a Bajoran alive who lived through the occupation that didn't know that sense of self hatred, that wish for another life. Even Quark seemed to feel some sympathy, in fact he seemed to be listening intently.

"I… don't know why I am the way I am… I wish I weren't… but I can't change it. I need… to rage… to hurt. I am Jem Hadar... My brethren think they are safe in the old tunnels of your station, but they decay just as I do… please… help them."

I knelt down to him. He continued to force out words. "Please… please let me die with a weapon at my chest. The… Klingons… they have a death ritual for taking one's life… I have been searching for a reason… a… way to end my life with respect…"

Here was a man who wanted to change, who felt abandoned by his Gods, who felt that he was a mistake. I thought about what Odo would do. He would take care of this man if he could. I was the closest thing he had to Odo or any other Founder.

"I was in love with a Founder once." I told him.

"Odo…" he said his name like it was a blessing and a curse. "We have heard of him."

"That's right… I know he can't be here for you now… But I'm here. My people have different beliefs. We believe that we join the Prophets when we die, as spirits."

He seemed eager to hear more, "the beings in the wormhole… They are quite powerful."

I added to his thoughts, "And they also have great love, and a lot to teach. Odo… is like… family to me, and you are like family to his people… To me that makes you my family too. I know they aren't the beliefs you're used to, but I would like to say a prayer for you and ask the Prophets to accept you."

He convulsed and began to laugh, "Such a way for my life to end… with the words of an alien prayer… but… perhaps… perhaps that is… acceptable."

And so, I offered my prayer to him, putting my hands to his heart and closing my eyes, "raka-ja ul shala morala… ema bo roo kana… urana ral Jem'Hadar… propeh va nara ehsuk Shala-kan vunek…"

The prayer meant "do not let them walk alone, guide them on their journey and protect the people of the Jem'Hadar, take them to the gates of the Temple."

I put my hand by his ear and squeezed it. Then I killed him with my phaser. A merciful death, compared to dying from withdrawal. I had never done anything like that for anyone who wasn't Bajoran, besides the Emissary. And even then, I usually didn't do it while they were there. I don't know what came over me. Maybe I wanted to show Ro how our beliefs can be valuable. Maybe I just remember wishing I wasn't Bajoran when I was younger. But either way, it was over. I hoped he did join the Prophets, that they would accept him despite where he comes from. The look on his face at the end was part exhilaration, part peace. I've never seen a look like that one from anyone before.

When I turned around, I saw Ro and Quark both looking at the body with pain in their eyes. I couldn't guess what Quark was on about, but Ro must've felt something like I did. I looked her in the eye knowingly.

I hit my combadge and checked with the repair crew. "How goes that power?"

Only one person responded, gasping for breath, "Crewman Tylittle here." She was a young Betazoid crewman, baby-faced, but high aptitude scores all around. "I'm…. the only one left who hasn't passed out… main power is a no go without more…. Equipment…. But I've almost got…. Got auxiliary…"

I offered her encouragement, "You're doing well Crewman. Auxiliary should give us life support back…. Then deal with the power drain… Give me updates every ten minutes…"

"Aye…" She closed the link for now.

Ro and I found ourselves crawling through vents to the old mining areas where the Cardassians used to work us. Out of breath, cold, hungry… It was like crawling into a graveyard. You could almost hear the echoes left behind by the borhyas of the workers who died from being overworked or by malnutrition. It was impossibly hot in these places during the Occupation, but the cold made it unnerving. We found our way to the mining area where we activated the Cardassian counter insurgency virus years ago. We couldn't see anything in the area above the room.

"We won't win this just the two of us." I said.

Ro disagreed, gasping for oxygen, "Yes we can, if we use a sniper…"

I put my hand on her arm firmly, "No! Not again!"

She just kept talking, "The sniper should be you, when they see me, it will lure out anyone hostile. Since I'm security chief and they know that, they will expect reinforcements close by from my security force. If they see you, they'll just send out one Jem'Hadar and we won't know their numbers. Thye'll be thinking that you want to negotiate since you're the commander. They see you like our "Vorta" and the Vorta don't fight. But they won't negotiate with you, they will just try to kill you. If we are going to save any of them, we have to draw out all the hostile ones first, with me as bait…"

"Ro…" I said, but she stopped me again.

"Kira! We don't have a choice…" I'm willing to do it.

I had to agree with her, her experience was clearly informing her, "Very well chief…."

She handed me her illegal rifle and took my phaser. "Know how it works?"

The number of weapons I had figured out on the fly in my past would probably surprise her. "Yes." I said.

Looking down that scope was so strange. I could adjust it to see through walls if I had to. I felt myself shivering. From the cold and the fear. I regretted letting Ro take the risk, I'd always prefer a straight fight. At least then I can be sure of myself. Or maybe it was just that I had spent too long avoiding snipers and hating them as they picked off other resistance fighters. Ro crept into the room, checking her corners… no one was coming… Then Ro found bodies. Seven dead from withdrawal, or suicide… Ro hit her combadge as she went behind something.

"Kira… there's a power drainer stuck here on the wall. It's draining power and collecting it. The Jem'Hadar are the reason we can't get the station power back on. The grid was damaged by the Borg but the Jem'Hadar are keeping it all stored here. To use it maybe?"

There was a scream. The Jem'Hadar Fourth appeared in the center of the room and charged her. He kept appearing and disappearing. I heard Ro shoot him, but it didn't even phase him. Damnit! He was moving too fast.

He cursed her, "Filthy Bajoran! Hold still! Give… me… victoryyyyy!" His eyes were crazed and desperate for salvation.

Ro managed to punch him in the face, and he fell over. He was in my sights now… but he was down… did I need to shoot him? If this had been years ago I would have shot him without hesitation, but I stopped for some reason. Then he began to stand and I realized he was still a threat, and I took the shot. And there he dropped… I felt like I had too much power… Taking a life like that. I had changed…

I joined Ro in the room. Ro ripped off the energy drainer from the wall…

I hit my combadge. "Kira to Tylittle."

A moment or two passed before I heard her voice, "Tylittle… … here…" She was barely breathing…

"You can relax now crewman; power should be coming back." I said

I heard her flip switches slowly... gasping with each one… Then the lights came on. When they did, we saw that all the Jem'Hadar were dead. Most of them by their own hands…

Ro and I sat there among the bodies... Lost in the sorrow.

She turned to me and asked, "What was that prayer again?"

Somehow Ro and I didn't seem so different anymore.

Chapter Nine – More Than the Sum

As told by Ezri Dax

As Elar was taken from the battlefield we found ourselves surrounded by transporter lights. And we were on the Defiant looking at Nog. He had transported everyone up who was still alive.

Nog addressed Commander Vaughn, "Captain! I was able to piggyback our transporter beam through the Borg's last beam out!"

Vaughn seemed distracted by something. Only now that we were here on the Defiant did I see his wig had been ruffled and he had a cough. He addressed Nog hoarsely, "Well done."

We all marched to the Bridge. When we got there, we saw Terin at the pilot's seat.

He reported our status, "Borg ship is preparing its engine system, sir. Permission to pursue?

"Granted Ensign." Vaughn coughed again.

I sat down at the comms position again where I saw a signal. Good news for once. The security officer who had armed us for the mission had taken weapons station.

"Captain! Jem'Hadar assistance incoming! Four ships!" I cheered.

Kilana cheered as well, "Excellent!" Her face beaming with pride in her Jem'Hadar.

The crew was tattered and broken, but the Jem'Hadar fighting with us brought an energy to the crew. No one here was truly young anymore.

Vaughn cried out, "Battle stations!"

We decloaked and rose our shields, charged phasers. I put my earpiece in to listen to transmissions, and the war began again.

The number of transmissions coming from a Borg ship are absolutely overwhelming. So many different types of signals overlapping. Listening to them is terrifying as well, they have an oppressive quality, much like their ships and culture. That is if they can be said to have a culture of their own at all. I filtered out most of them so I could hear ours, the Jem'Hadar, and strictly the most important signals from the Borg.

Vaughn cleared his throat and belted out orders. "Comms! Coordinate with the Jem'Hadar ships, we need to put a hole in the Borg shielding! Helm! Course 001 mark 875! Fire all phasers on rotating modulations! Concentrate on a single point on their shields! We need to punch through." Vaughn gasped for air after those orders.

Jadzia was a level three pilot, and if Torias had been in Starfleet he would've been at least level five, so I knew that tactic wasn't utilizing the Defiant to its maximum potential. Older and bulkier ships work well broadsiding since it's hard to make quick maneuvers with higher mass. They can utilize all the phasers on one side and then switch to another. But the Defiant-class ships are small and agile, and they pack a punch. You're best served when utilizing their engines and weapons and not when taking hits. It's like the difference between a fighter jet and a military boat. In space there's no air resistance but there's still mass to move, but Vaughn is a by the book kind of man, he does things to the letter or not at all… Terin and Nog must feel terribly underutilized…

The Jem'Hadar began firing some sort of spatial charges to destroy their shielding, but it didn't have much effect. They seemed to be ignoring our strategy, despite my best efforts to coordinate. Yet again, I felt a sense of doom. The Borg were ignoring the Jem'Hadar and focusing on us. They fired three of their shield draining weapons at us and our shields were gone immediately. Next came a drilling beam which ruptured the hull.

Vaughn grimaced, "Damage report!"

Nog gave the bad news, "Shields gone! Hull breach on deck two, five crewman were lost before emergency forcefields activated!" The security crewman quietly cried to herself. I wondered if she had a friend on Deck 2…

Lu belted out a report of her own, "Captain, some sort of electro-magnetic force is building up in the Borg ship!"

Vaughn held his head and hissed in pain, then he stood up in a feat of anger, "Evasive pattern Sigma 9!"

Lu cried out, "Too late! Brace for impact!"

We all did so, and a force beam blasted into the ship. The Defiant rattled and shook, several consoles exploded. One singed Terin and knocked him down. Julian rushed to him to treat him.

Sect'Ikon called out to Vaughn, "This tactic is not sound human! The Jem'Hadar will not be so careful!"

I spoke up to agree reluctantly, "It is true the Jem'Hadar refuse to foll-"

"QUIET DAX!" He said. I shut up right away.

He then turned to Sect'Ikon and yelled, "I WILL NOT BE QUESTIONED ON THE BRIDGE OF MY SHIP WHILE I'M IN COMMAND!" After he yelled at Sect'Ikon he cringed in pain and started sweating profusely. Something was clearly wrong. I went to Starfleet Medical, and I took enough courses to know he was fighting something serious. Julian had noticed this as well. After he was certain that the pilot was alright, he turned to Vaughn.

"Sir, are you alright?" And he began to scan him.

Vaughn knocked his instrument away from him, "I'm FINE, Doctor!" He said 'doctor' with pure disgust in his voice. The ship continued to spark and steam began venting into the bridge.

Julian refused to take this, "The hell you are, sir! You need treatment!"

Lu reported again, "Incoming!"

We all braced again except Vaughn who fell to the floor on impact. The ship convulsed and several consoles exploded, including the weapons console which exploded right on the crewman's face. The force was so strong that she died right there. I checked her pulse to make sure and then glanced at Julian.

Nog sighed in frustration and ran over to the weapons console to fix it. It took only a few clicks and it was back on… at least mostly…

Julian knelt over Elias and began to scan him. Elias tried to stand up, but he couldn't make it and then he began to convulse, shaking off his wig in seizure. He looked three decades older suddenly.

Julian scanned him and his vital signs fluctuated. "My god!" He cried.

Over the comm line came main engineering, "Engineering to bridge! I… I'm not sure what's going on here!" Cried a young crewman.

Nog exclaimed, "Dammit, I'm on my way!" He scurried off the Bridge. Lu took his place at the Engineering Console, creating dual interface with the scanner station.

Julian gave Elias a hypo but it didn't do any good.

Elias reached up and grabbed him by the collar, "Save…. My life… Lieutenant… that's an… order!" and then his eyes rolled back and he convulsed in another seizure. The tricorder beeped furiously, and we all heard Elias' heart stop. The monotone heart monitor drew everyone's attention to the center of the Bridge.

Julian hit his combadge, "Bashir to transporter room! Two for emergency site-to-site transport to sickbay!"

A beam enveloped them both and just like that he was gone. We had no Captain, no first officer. We all looked at the Borg ship. Imposing, God-like, predatory, like Death itself coming to greet us.

Lu exclaimed, "The Jem'Hadar fighters! I… I think they're making a suicide run!"

And we, a ship full of children, watched as one Jem'Hadar cruiser crashed into the shields punching through them, then the next ship maneuvered through the hole in the shileds, crashing into the ship itself. It didn't deal as much damage as we might have thought but…

"Their shield grid is down!" Terin exclaimed.

I glanced around the room at people's rank insignias. An Ensign, an Ensign, a crewman who had come in for Nog's station, Kilana, the Jem'Hadar…. That was it. I looked at my own rank. Two pips: one full, one dark. The rank of Lieutenant, Junior grade. I was the senior officer on board… Me... Ezri… I was the only thing standing between the Borg and a badly damaged ship full of terrified Ensigns. A million thoughts flashed through my mind. 'I'm not ready for this. I'm just a counselor. I never wanted command! We're doomed.'

But… something about being the only chance we all had left made me stop. I could almost hear the Curzon on me saying, ready or not they need you. And I could almost hear Benjamin's voice, 'Oh c'mon old man, you can do this!' I took a deep breathe… and took out my earpiece. I took it to Kilana and extended it out to her. I didn't have to ask, she knew… and nodded with affirmation. She put in the earpiece and took the comms station, trying to contact more Jem'Hadar.

I stared at the chair, remembering when Jadzia sat in it during the war. Another memory flashed in my mind. They were Benjamin's but Jadzia… I spoke them to a crew on the last Defiant. 'This says something about us. That we will fight, and we will keep on fighting until we can't anymore!'

I walked to it, zipping up my shirt. The whole bridge was staring at me. I can't imagine I looked like anything other than a child… confused… scared. That's exactly how I felt. I sat down, tapping my fingers on the arms of the chair nervously, my heart was beating out of my chest. I stared at the Borg ship… my enemy… It was utterly oppressive. I took another deep breath and turned to Sect'Ikon.

"I would appreciate your assistance at tactical." I had my hands on my lap now, twiddling them nervously…

I expected him to laugh at me, make some insult… But he didn't. He walked up to me and looked me in the eye. I felt my adrenaline surge and my stomach churn but I didn't waiver.

Then he spoke, "Obedience brings victory. "And he took the console, clearly familiar with the system. "Phaser banks at 50%, Quantum torpedoes ready at full. Shields at 0%" I couldn't help but smile. For a Jem'Hadar that was quite the leap of faith. I hope I deserved it.

I looked at Terin next, "Now is your chance to show off, Ensign."

Terin turned his head to the side and smirked eagerly, "Then you'll have to hold on tight."

I called out on the comm, "Dax to Engineering? What's going on down there, Nog?

Nog replied, "Warp drive is too unstable past warp one lieutenant and, but I do have full impulse for you. Where's the Captain?"

I thought about Torias, ace pilot as I replied, "He's… in sick bay with Julian. We're gonna need that full impulse… Lieutenant." It was strange giving Nog orders. He and I were the same rank and nearly the same age, but he was the only thing holding that engineering crew together. The rest of the crew… that was my duty as a counselor…

Nog paused a moment, clearly skeptical, "I see… Captain."

The word rung in my ears… Captain… It had been so long since anyone called me that… But it felt new. Ezri had never taken command before… I hoped she was up to it. I would do everything I could to help.

I turned to Lu, "The Borg ship's status?"

She reported, she didn't seem as nervous as the others. "The Borg ship has lost all warp power and shields. Regeneration cycle complete and it's charging weapons."

I knew the urgency, I spoke to Terin with haste in my voice, "Evasive maneuvers at your discretion. Get us out of weapons range for as long as you can!"

Terin smirked and switched the console to manual. A flight stick rose from a slot below him. He began to fly… and I mean fly. We spun and slid through space like an Aldeberran Serpent. I felt a wave of nausea as the space sickness kicked in. I closed my eyes, held myself firm, and breathed slowly to help it pass. I didn't care who heard me struggling.

We slipped out of weapons range. I thought about Lu's report and the Borg battle tactics Worf taught Jadzia.

I spoke aloud, "If we can force the Borg into regenerating… that gives us a chance..."

Then I thought of Tobin, my engineer host, as I stared at the geometry of the Borg ship. I contacted Nog again, "Nog? I need all available power to the warp and impulse systems and the structural integrity." I paused, having anxiety about how he'd react to this next order. "Take it from life support as well, at least for as long as we can go without it. We're going to need huge energy bursts to the engines in a moment.

Nog paused as well, "Aye sir."

I turned to Sect'Ikon, "I'll need you to rotate phaser modulation. We'll be utilizing as much phaser power as possible but make sure they're as random as possible."

He nodded to me as I sat back down in the chair. I held on tight to the arm rests. Thinking of Torias, I whispered to myself, "Time for a full impulse test…"

I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, thought of Benjamin, Jadzia, Curzon… and steeled myself. I opened my eyes to the Borg ship and stared it down…

"Helm! Thrusters at full, 180-degrees about. Engage a warp burst, factor!"

Terin seemed completely unafraid. I wished I could say the same. The ship turned and we all carried by its momentum, then we went to warp for far less than a second: a warp burst. In a flash we were less than a kilometer in front of the Borg. The warp engines engaged to stop us before we collided with the Borg. It puts enormous pressure on the engines, but it was all we had.

"Fire all weapons! Helm, rotate our aim so that we cover as much of the surface of the ship as possible!"

A furious flurry of phasers and quantum torpedoes flew out from us, and massive explosions let loose on the Borg ship's outer hull. After not even one second, I ordered again, "warp burst on the z axis, negative! Then another burst forward! Fire all dorsal phasers!"

The Borg fired on our position but in an instant we we're gone, warping to the corner and then under them. Each warp burst blew a pipe in the ceiling and rattled the ship. The Bridge flooded with smoke and the life support kicked in briefly to vent it into space.

Nog rung the Bridge, "Captain! Those warp bursts are wreaking have it on the engines! We can't keep them up!"

His answer terrified me, but somehow I didn't buckle, "Hang on just a little longer Nog! You can do this!"

Terin spun the Defiant around at full impulse as the Doral phasers drained on the Borg ship, leaving craters of damage all over its underside. The cube began to rotate to avoid our weapons… But they weren't fast enough…

"Another z axis burst! Positive now, Ensign!" There was hope in my voice, I could hear it. I stood over Terin's console now, watching the lights of the battle and his maneuvers. We missed a Borg tractor beam buy mere meters. Terin had begun to understand what we were doing and bursted the engines again to reach the back side of the cube. Sect'Ikon fired. I felt a swelling of pride in the crew… MY crew… flaring blue quantum torpedoes scattered the surface. Terin spun the Defiant, expertly dodging some missiles the Borg sent our way. Torias would be proud… I suppose he was.

"Lu! What's the status of the Borg ship!" I asked.

Lu responded with shock. "They're… rerouting hundreds of systems to keep up with us!"

Kilana gave a look of astonishment, "You're cutting the cords!" Clearly, she was impressed.

I confirmed her assumption with a nod, but I was too focused on the battle to look at her reaction, "The Borg distribute systems all over their ship, do enough damage ship wide and they have nowhere to send the power to."

I continued the plan, "Another burst ensign, this time let the momentum carry us around,"

The Defiant slid around the side and we sprayed our weapons all round. The ship wobbled and spun as Terin dodged more. I felt a wave of nausea so powerful I nearly gagged. I took a deep breathe again and remembered my zero-gee field training form the Academy. Ezri's. I wasn't space sick then; I'm not now, I told myself. Flashes of Torias' crash and fatal injury went through my head. Not this time, I thought. The ship creaked as structural integrity nearly failed.

"Nog! How's our ship?!" I cried to the engine room.

"Not great, Captain! But… She can handle it!" Nog sounded pained, like he didn't want to hurt his ship, but he knew what she could do. I gritted my teeth. Everything was coming together. But could we finish it out?

A Borg torpedo nicked us and a console flashed in front of Kilana. But she recovered.

We bursted over top, fired and fired. Bursted again… The whole surface of the cube was nearly covered in damage. One more burst… I thought.

Then the engines let out a cry, and we heard them shut down. But we had completed the last burst.

"FIRE!" I yelled. I flinched as our torpedoes and phasers covered the last few meters of the ship.

Nog screamed from the engine room, "Warp and impulse overload! We're dead Captain!"

We all braced for our deaths at the hand of Borg weapons… but nothing happened.

I opened my eyes, "Lu? … What's the status of the Borg ship?" I spoke with confusion. I had expected to die. We all had. But we were alive?

Lu juggled the information on her console and scanned the Borg. "The Borg… have." Her voiced began to raise in pitch with shock and joy. "They have no vital system that is a fully closed circuit… Weapons, shields, warp, even thrusters…. All offline!" They're regenerating! HAH! You did it Ezri!"

I corrected her, smiling, and feeling a little overwhelmed by all the attention, "We did it."

We all took a moment to enjoy the victory that we sorely needed.

I took a breath, feeling more confident than I had ever felt in my life, and had a realization.

I turned to the crew, "Then… now's our chance… We have to board the ship…"

They all looked on me with horror and victory faded from their eyes. I felt remorseful that I had to burst the bubble so soon, but sometimes people need that. If you tell someone what they need to hear but don't want to hear, it may be better in the long run.

I continued, "It's our only chance to save the Changeling and the Founders," I turned to Sect'Ikon and Kilana as I said it, and then turned back to the crew, "And we might be able to activate the self-destruct. It's our only chance. We're sitting ducks out here. Nog will have to repair the ship with the engine crew…" I looked around at my friends, "Lu, Kilana, Sect'Ikon… you're with me. All remaining security officers report to the transporter room, all remaining engineering crew to Nog in main engineering. We need this ship up and running as soon as possible... Terin?" He looked up at me, his face had mild burns on it, but he didn't seem to care. "You have the bridge. If we can't get back to the ship before weapons come back online… you head full speed to the wormhole, we have to at least get Opaka and her followers back home."

He stood up and stood at attention, He was at least fifteen centimeters taller than me, "Aye… Captain," he said with a smile. I had his respect now, and he certainly had mine.

"To the transporter room everyone." I said.

We marched our way there. Nog met us there, ready to beam us on board. We each found ourselves type three phaser rifles. But there were only three security officers to join us for an away team of seven.

Nog walked up to me, a look of pure respect that I had never seen from him before, "Permission to join the away team, sir!"

I looked at him with some concern, but I understood why he wanted to come, "I thought that you might be needed for repairs, but why do you want to come?"

He stood at attention, "my combat experience, my lobes." He turned to Lu. "You'd benefit from two sets of Ferengi ears over just one set. Besides!" He turned back to me. "I believe my crew is up to the task."

I considered it, and how he might feel by my response. I set a hand on his shoulder. "Alright Lieutenant, grab a rifle and come with us." I couldn't help but smile at his strength.

"Thank you, Captain." He said.

Captain… It still echoed in my head.

We crowded on the pad together and the bridge crewman looked back at us. "Good luck!"

As the beam began to energize, Kai Opaka appeared at the entrance. She looked me in the eye, smiled, and nodded with approval. I couldn't help but smile back.

And then we were gone.

Chapter Ten - Compromised

As told by Julian Bashir

Julian Bashir spent hours treating Elias Vaughn after he nearly died on the Bridge. He had managed to revive him, but he was barely conscious. His condition was baffling. One by one his vital organs shut down and then reactivated. Julian also noticed that many of his organs had implants to help regulate them, but even those failed sporadically after a time. Julian poured over research and found conditions with some similarity, but after an extensive examination he couldn't find a satisfactory cause. Vaughn's entire system was on support as the implants failed. And that is when Elias jerked awake.

"Damnit!" He yelled. And the monitor beeped to indicate a change in in blood pressure and adrenaline.

"Careful!" Julian yelled back, walking up to him. "Now relax… Commander and be glad you're still alive…"

Elias looked back wide eyed and realized he was in a restraining field. Julian couldn't help but feel that he deserved to be there. He nearly got everyone killed by risking the ship while he was in this condition.

Elias sighed and relaxed for once, "Doctor… let me out… I will be okay…"

Bashir couldn't agree, "I'm afraid I can't do that Commander, you are NOT okay." He prepared a hypospray with a mild stimulant to keep Vaughn conscious. Now that he was again, he didn't want to risk a coma.

Julian continued, "In fact… your condition is baffling to say the least. I couldn't find any medical records on your file that mentioned implants or anything of the sort." Julian wasn't making an effort to hide his dislike for Vaughn. "Would you care to disclose anything to me Commander?"

Elias refused to look at Julian. He had a pompous arrogance and pride to him that made Julian furious. Exactly the kind of man that Starfleet had been relying too much on recently.

"I would not like to disclose anything to you, Lieutenant." He retorted.

Julian replied, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to insist… sir. Doctor's orders." He said Doctor's order slowly and firmly for emphasis.

Elias laughed; it was a strange sight. A guttural, judgmental laugh. "You Doctors… always overstepping your authority to save someone."

Julian knew that Elias was trying to offend him, he wouldn't let him. "I'm not overstepping my authority, sir. If I believe the safety of the crew is at risk, medically, then I'm capable of ordering even an Admiral, to stand down, or report his medical status. If it helps… I'll treat this disclosure as completely confidential. That is also a rule of mine."

Vaughn shook his head, mulling it over. He was not a man who enjoyed feeling trapped and Julian could tell that he had backed him into a corner he couldn't get out of.

Vaughn gritted his teeth. "Very well… I was born with a condition. It doesn't manifest until old age. My organs spontaneously fail…"

Julian knew something didn't add up. "With all due respect, sir… You're lying… If you had such a condition that would've been recorded in your medical records. Unless…" Julian pondered, jumping on a few trains of logic, "unless it was something that you couldn't make public, something you took great pains to conceal because of... a stigma?

Vaughn rolled his eyes in frustration in a way that suggested Julian was correct, "… well… perhaps you, as opposed to any other, person would understand…"

Julian stood statuesque, "I of all people?"

Vaughn peered into Julian's heart like he had taken it under a microscope, "Do I have your WORD, that you will not disclose this to anyone?"

Julian leaned down to him and met his eyes, feeling that he would regret this, "Yes," he said. His patient needed the best treatment possible… He knew Vaughn would only trust him with one thing.

Vaughn relaxed, letting down his guard for the first time since he had arrived. "I did have a condition growing up, but it wasn't what I have now, not exactly. I was born with a genetic defect of my vital organs, including my brain. Eating made me sick, breathing caused me pain… and doctors…" He let out a sigh of contempt, "they refused to treat me."

Julian raised his eyebrow, "conditions like that, no matter how serious, are treated all the time… Why wouldn't they treat you?"

Vaughn continued," Because this was almost a century ago… around the time Khan Noonien Singh nearly waged a successful war on the Federation. The time of the Genesis device, and the Mutara Incident."

Julian realized what Elias was saying and continued the line of thought, "And… your condition came about due to genetic engineering…." Being engineered himself and knowing how they are treated; Julian felt a connection with Vaughn forming.

"Even when I was that young… I wanted something more for myself than a life on a hospital bed. Medicine was still unsure of the legality of the genetic treatments that would've saved my life… so… my parents had me altered again… This time instead of a massive failure… it was a huge success. My organs were improved and all around, and I excelled. Even my aging slowed. I appear merely middle aged, aside from my hair… I joined Starfleet as soon as I turned 18. I've served 80 year since that day."

"But you're still a Commander because Starfleet officials suspect your genetic tailoring…" Julian finished for him again.

"No one..." Vaughn coughed, "no one has ever told me such, but all my life I've been told to slow down. Sometimes even directly. Eventually, the people who doubted me got their wish. The genetic tailoring couldn't keep up with my age. Now my organs fail periodically, shutting down from overuse. It's as if my organs are older than even the rest of my body. Most officers retire by my age, or work in the Admiralty, but I've been under the stress of war my whole life. Klingons, Romulans, Cardassians, Borg, Dominion. To be defeated by bad genes… I refuse…"

"But it's precisely that overworking that is killing you." Julian retorted.

"Doctor!" He struggled through pain to bring out the words, "My organs may shut down, but the implants regulate them enough that I don't die… yet. I refuse to live my last years without the credit I deserve… Even if I can't be a Captain, or an Admiral… I keep in touch with Intelligence, I make myself invaluable… Distinguish myself… I have lived my life in service to the Federation because I believe in it! My life means little else to me otherwise."

Julian found himself with a whole new perspective on Vaughn. For the first time he understood why he was the way he was. Arrogant, egotistic? Perhaps. But also shunned, and unrecognized. He never made it even to Captain after 80 years given to Starfleet. He had to admit that was an almost unheard-of amount of time as a Junior officer. Julian had often wondered if his own rank would ever increase now that he was found out. Fortunately, he only wanted to be a Doctor, not a Captain, and the deal his father made protected him. But to Vaughn, every lecture by a younger but superior rank officer must feel like an insult to Vaughn… Vaugh did need seasoning of a sort. He needed to connect with others rather than rejecting them.

Vaughn cleared his throat, seemingly recovering and asked Julian, "So… you're going to report me?"

Julian paused. He gave it thought. He should report him, it was his duty. But he gave his word, and he understood personally what Vaughn must feel.

He made the decision, "No. I won't…" Julian said reluctantly. He would keep the secret… Despite how dirty it made him feel… Julian wondered many times if he would wish away his genetic tailoring if he could. In the past he had said he would. His parent didn't give him the chance to learn and grow normally, and his father was obsessed with prestige. But it was difficult for Julina to imagine his life another way. Would he have looked on as his peers surpassed him, wondering what was wrong with him? Could he feel as assured of himself as he does now? Julina had to believe he could have, but the truth is he wasn't sure.

Vaughn looked surprised and took an almost casual tone, "well… Maybe you're alright after all kid…"

Julian returned to the medial matters at hand, pushing back his thoughts of his own plight, "You'll have to report for daily physicals, and I need you here for observation, so I won't put you back on duty, yet. I'll… have to find something to explain what happened… And I'll work on a treatment…"

Vaughn accepted this, "Fine… Doctor." Vaughn said 'Doctor' with respect now.

Chapter Eleven – One Who is Many

As told by Ezri Dax

The first thing you notice when you beam aboard a Borg ship is how hot it is. To prevent the need for temperature regulation while on board ship, the Borg keep their ships at a searing 39.1 C. But it gets worse. They're also very humid, at 92% of normal. This is to keep their organic components well moisturized. Thinking about the reasons why they keep things so hot and damp is pretty stomach churning. But more than that, the air on the ship seems to almost compress you. As soon as we materialized on board, I was feeling it. Joined Trill don't like heat much. Our core body temperature is higher than Trill who haven't been joined. That means our extremities are cold usually, but we are t risk of overheating somewhat sooner than other races.

We materialized at the base of a large black pillar made up of computerized parts. It appeared to be some sort of power hub. Luckily, it looked to be on minimal power, as we were hoping. All the Borg were in their alcoves, though we didn't expect them to stay that way.

Lu diligently began a scan of the ship, "Confirmed, the Borg are in a regeneration cycle."

The crew was already panting for air, except Sect'Ikon, who seemed unconcerned. I had unzipped the front of my shirt and was already considering going to undershirt only. It was so hot that if our bodies were that temperature regularly, we would have a severe fever. Even the symbiont caves aren't this humid…

"Stay cool everyone, as best you can," I said.

Lu spoke up again, "Hey Ezri?" I looked at her. "The Borg seem to be channeling most of their regeneration to their inner comm system."

I was puzzled, "Inner?" I looked at her readings myself. "Do they want to talk to us?"

The Borg comm answered my question.

"REMAINING CREW OF NX74205-A USS DEFIANT, FORMERLY NCC75633 USS SAO PAULO. YOU HAVE ENTERED OUR SHIP. YOUR GOAL IS THE SABOTAGE OF OUR VESSEL AND RESCUE OF SPECIES 10147: MORPHOGENIC CREATURE OF THE GAMMA QUADRANT. YOU CANNOT SUCCEED. ASSIMILATION OF 10147'S MORPHOGENIC MATRIX IS UNDERWAY."

The voice of the Borg is awe-inspiring. Their voice emanates loudly from all directions and chills the spine. But the Borg are far too mundane in my opinion. What they do to other races is abhorrible. I can't say I wasn't afraid, but standing in front of my crew, I could fake it.

I walked a meter toward the pillar and looking around me, directing my words all around "I think we'd like to try anyway, you're in no position to stop us."

"SPECIES 5871, SUBSET C: UNTAILORED JOINED TRILL. RANK: LIEUTENANT, JUNIOR GRADE. DESIGNATION DAX, EZRI, FORMERLY TIGAN, EZRI. CURRENTLY ASSUMED COMMAND OF NX74205-A"

"Well, thanks for spelling it out for me." I joked. Not that a Borg had anything to joke about. It helped me feel better though.

"WE RECOGNIZE YOUR ABILITY TO SPEAK ON BEHALF OF YOUR PEOPLE. THE GOAL OF THIS VESSEL IS THE ASSIMILATION OF SPECIES 10147. SPECIES 10147 IS A RECENT ENEMY OF THE UNITED FEDERATION OF PLANETS. YOUR BIOLOGICAL AND TECHNOLOGICAL DISTINCTIVENESS WILL BE ADDED TO OUR OWN, HOWEVER THAT IS NOT THE GOAL OF THIS VESSEL. WE SHALL AGREE TO CEASE FIRE WITH NX74205-A IF YOU DO NOT INTEREFERE WITH ASSIMILATION OF SPECIES 10147. DO YOU ACCEPT THESE TERMS?"

I found myself thinking of Tongo, and all the games Jadzia and Quark would play. Jadzia was very good at Tongo. She liked to trick the other players into believing she had a worse hand than she actually did with a series of strategic moves, words, taunting, and whatever else she had up her sleeve.

I turned to my crew and spoke in a whisper. "If they're expending energy throughout the ship to communicate, they may be in even worse shape than we thought. Stay together and try to execute our original mission. Hurry! I'll keep them focused on me!'

Lu looked at me with concern. I patted my rifle and smirked at her to let her know I would be okay. Privately, however, I was very scared to be on my own. Lu didn't need to know that right now, though.

Sect'Ikon, Kilana, Lu, Nog, and the security crew headed off following a scan. I turned back to the pillar. My goal was to be a distraction while my crew completed the mission. So, I had to be a good distraction. It wasn't time to Acquire just yet. I thought of Lela, my first host, the politician. If the Borg were concerned about my crew, they didn't show it.

I prepared my line of reasoning, putting my hands behind my back to look professional, "The Borg don't normally negotiate, especially with us. What changed your attitude? Other than us disabling your ship?

"YOUR PREUSMPION THAT OUR SHIP IS DISABLED IS INCORRECT. OUR FORCE IS STILL SUPERIOR. HOWEVER, NEGOTIATIONS FOR MUTUAL ENDS WITH FEDERATION SHIP IN DELTA QUADRANT: NCC74656 USS VOYAGER HAVE PROVEN POSSIBLE. HOWEVER, DECEPTION WILL NOT BE TOLERATED AND WILL RESULT IN THE DESTRUCTION OF YOUR SHIP YOUR ASSIMILATION."

I wondered. 'Voyager'... Where had I heard that name? Wasn't that the ship presumed destroyed in the badlands?' I remembered hearing that a ship was in the Delta Quadrant, but I had thought it was just tall tales. I found myself wishing I had more knowledge of what's going on outside the station.

I put my hand behind my back and tried to keep myself calm. It got too hot so I went down to undershirt only, keeping my badge on me. It was too damned hot, and I was sweating so much. I wasn't sure if it was from the heat or the anxiety. Probably both.

I continued, "I'm willing to negotiate, but I don't accept the terms you are laying out. We can't allow you to assimilate an entire species, even a former enemy." My adrenaline shot up when I said that, worrying that I had made a mistake by hinting at my hand that soon, but it was the only way to move the game along.

"THIS SHIP'S GOAL IS THE ASSIMILATION OF SPECIES 10147. WE CANNOT ACCEPT YOUR REFUSAL."

Damn, I had to make a save. Time to Evade. I spun the wheel in my mind and reached for some knowledge. I found some, but I can't say I liked it. I had to find some way of keeping as many of the Borg focused on me as possible, and for that to work I had to talk to the aspect of the Borg that is an individual.

"Wait!" I begged. "We can still negotiate. But… it's… it's difficult to negotiate with all those voices. If I'm representing the Federation, can you talk through a representative?"

"SOURCE OF COMMUNICATION IS IRRELEVANT. CURRENT METHODS ARE SUFFICENT."

"Well, maybe to you. But for an… imperfect… being like myself, it's hard to be logical when the people I'm talking to are loud and unexpressive. I'm a counselor, I thrive on seeing the emotions and facial expressions of the people I talk to. Are you able to accommodate that?"

They didn't answer. But I heard many mechanical whirrs and clunks, and biological squishes and squeezes. Out of the wall the other side of the pillar came a cybernetic body of a woman with no head or shoulders. It stood motionless. From above a mechanical crane lowered the head and shoulders of a Borg woman. She had many pipes snaking through her body and a mechanical spine… I had only ever heard rumors about the face of the Borg. When I was at the Academy some people said she was the "queen," others called her as the source of the "root command." The second Borg attack on Earth had only just happened when I was there. Worf told Jadzia about what Captain Picard experienced, though I was sure there was plenty he couldn't share with Worf. The Academy was rife with rumors about who she was… But seeing her, or one version of her, right before my eyes was… more terrifying than I imagined.

Her eyes followed me and mine followed hers as she lowered. A chill went down my spine despite the heat. The crane lowered her into the mechanical body, and she let out a breath as her mechanical lungs activated. She walked around the endless balcony. As she got closer, I had to look up to talk to her face to face. I couldn't help but think, 'of course she's taller than me.'

She stared at me, and it took me a second to recover.

"Well, that's… that's better." I mumbled. "What's your name?" I tried to smile but my nerves didn't allow for much movement on my face.

She smirked at me… So, she can feel amusement, good to know, I thought.

"I am the Borg. I have no use for another name." She walked a circle around me, scanning me up and down. Analyzing me like a specimen

"I see," I said. I rubbed the strap for the phaser rifle that I had. Anticipating I might have to make a quick movement.

The Queen asked me, "We have assimilated some from your species, but few of the joined lifeforms survive our nanoprobes. But soon, we will have this flaw corrected." The way she spoke to me reminded me of my mother. Becoming friendly and warm only when you did as she wished, followed by a col and harsh nature when you went against her.

I retorted, "For a species all about technology and materialism, you seem to think quite highly of yourself. How did you get to be that way?"

She smirked, "It is a fact that we are superior. We link the technological and the biological; the many and the one." Her tone became almost… sultry. I felt the pressure of the air even more intensely now. "You, too, are a one made of many. We could offer you a fuller connection between you and your symbiont, a connection to the biological through the technological." She walked closer to me. "We may be willing to trade the connection to the Founders if you would allow us to grant you such a gift."

Her suddenly friendly nature had my suspicions up. Afterall, there was no way she would agree to that, but it did tell me something I needed to know: assimilating the Founders must not be going well. If they were unsuccessful their mission would fail. She was looking for another prize to take home in case of that. Something to assist them against whatever Elar said had them scared. My symbiont's knowledge and experience must represent an asset to the Borg of some significance. She had said that most attempts to assimilate joined Trill had resulted in death… Perhaps a willing recipient of the nanoprobes might be able to be assimilated through a more gradual process? My hand in our game was looking stronger, than hers. I could barely believe it. But I had to be sure.

I thought about Curzon and Jadzia, and leaned into a similar sultry tone, taking a step closer. It was easier than I expected which is what disturbed me most. But I had to keep her guard down for the moment, make her think I was enticed and not terrified.

"And what would that entail?" I suggested.

Her eyes widened with… pleasure? Victory? She spoke in a similar tone, "We would implant your symbiont and regulate your isoboromine levels to prevent rejection. We could then offer you a link to the collective. You would hear clearly, not just your other hosts, but our song as well." She caressed my cheek. I had to use all my strength not to shudder and step away. She continued, "Loneliness would be a thing of the past. Uncertainty transmuted to assurance."

She was good. A master manipulator. If she could garner this much from me I had to step up my game. I asked her, "And what do you gain by assimilating me?"

She seemed surprised by the question, so I added more to my question, "Why me and not a different joined Trill? What makes me special?"

She seemed a little colder; I may have shown too much of my hand. "Unique individuals are occasionally more easily absorbed into the collective as representatives of the Borg. To assimilate civilizations, facilitators are occasionally more useful than I am. You and I… would share a... special connection."

The way she talked to me. If I didn't know better, I'd say she was the lonely one. I was beginning to see that the "Borg Queen" was really like a distilled collective. As if each collective voice were funneled into one personality, a flawed one. They have a great need to absorb others. A great loneliness. And the way they cope with their sense of isolation isn't remotely healthy. They can't understand why we don't want to be assimilated and the Queen shows that with great feeling, great need. She is willing to take whatever means are required to reach that goal. It's a need I understand, but that I also know can't be solved by absorbing others, you need to learn who you are before you can truly join with others… I found I was no longer afraid of her. To give myself freely… it would justify what she and the Borg do… I couldn't give her that satisfaction. It was almost time to confront.

"Why do you assimilate other races?" I asked. I was treating her kind of like any patient, asking her to teach me why she does what she does.

She seemed puzzled by the question, "We assimilate others to bring them closer to perfection."

I did my best to look as confused but curious as possible. "And why does that bring us closer to perfection?"

She almost relaxed, as if she were glad that I had asked. She was eager to explain it all to me. I had her.

"The combination of technology and biology has brought your people to the stars, and the joining of countless species into the Federation has brought great progress to all within its confines. Imagine, what can be accomplished with ten times that same philosophy."

She thought she had me. She was wrong. "The Federation teaches non-interference wherever possible; many other cultures don't have that philosophy and end up getting mired in war they can't win. Is there something better about the way you do things?"

She smirked again, "Of course there is. Purely biological forms are incomplete, they require the satisfaction of urges, the ingesting of food, the assistance of oxygen, and many other flaws which need correcting.

I continued, "So we're incomplete without cybernetic parts? We need machines to be… whole?"

She walked closer to me, being as enticing and seductive as she could, "Indeed… Do you desire to be complete?"

"I suppose I do…," I said, "I've spent so long, especially this past year, feeling alone, confused…" I did my best to look submissive and child-like, to draw her in as if I were a scared shild who needed her help. "Would assimilation make me feel complete?"

She actually seemed touched, the way a mother truly would be. "We still search for our final perfection… But with you at my side…" She brushed my hair. The sweat on my forehead smeared as she did so. "You shall be… Amant… of Borg…"

"I see…." I said as I felt the eat of the ship overtaking me.

She took my response as affirmation, "Your companions are free to go… We-"

She stopped and looked to the side suddenly. Less than a second later I heard the vicious cry of Elar echo throughout the ship.

Confront.

"There's just one problem." I declared.

She turned to me with genuine shock as I continued,

"I'm already complete."

And then I jumped back and shot her. Phaser on full.

I blasted a hole right through her chest and she fell to the ground, mouth frozen open wide, body convulsing in malfunction. She fell to the ground like a puppet, just like Jeresh. I knew I didn't have long. Many drones fell apart in their alcoves, but some recovered and began to chase me. I ran in the direction of the scream, hoping to find my crew.

Chapter Twelve – And We Have Killed Him

As told by Lusara Belli

Parting ways with Ezri while she talked to the Borg… Being the distraction… I was really hoping she would stay with us. It was hot, terrifying, and just utterly abysmal here. My lobes already itched, and it was far too warm. I was used to cold and wet, but hot and wet is another beast. Nog was in command of our team now. Our team… the famous Nog, a Jem'Hadar, a Vorta, and three security officers who looked even more scared than me. At least I would die wearing a cute uniform…

Okay but I had to admit, Nog was very good. His command skills were not as good as Ezri's and he wasn't as nice, but… he knew how to seem calm when he needed to. He signaled us to look around. I had my tricorder out and I was searching for the Founder, but I was having trouble locating him. Still couldn't believe he had been hiding right under our noses.

I was kind enough to let my colleagues know what I was up to. Whispering, I said, "I'm reading a signal quite a distance down these corridors. I think it's a morphogenic property of some kind? Could be our Founder."

Kilana whispered to me, "Well done!"

The security officers surrounded me as we checked our corners. I realized they were protecting me. I was the most vulnerable crewman. It was a strange feeling… good. To be protected for once… I could get used to this.

Whatever our Captain was doing, she was doing it well, we had no resistance. Much better than our last Captain… I was scanning all around for a way to destroy the ship. Most of the power lines that were of any use were broken. But then I had an epiphany.

"Hey Nog!" I whispered.

"Lieutenant!" He snapped back.

I was confused, "What? I'm not a lieutenant!"

"I mean me," he said. "I'm your superior officer, address me by my rank."

"Fine... lieutenant." This crap is why I nearly didn't join Starfleet. "I'm thinking if we can interfere with the primary warp system the Borg use while they're still regenerating, we can insert a power cell overload it, it could cause a cascade reaction…"

Nog stopped and looked at me, he seemed like he didn't want to praise me, but he found he had no choice. "Very good Ensign, send a coded transmission to the Defiant. My crew can build the device while we search for the changeling. They can beam it to us when it's ready." It's nice to be appreciated, but it's even nicer to one up an arrogant Ferengi man.

As we turned yet another corner a drone passed right by us. We all moved out of its way.

Nog whispered, "hold your fire, they won't consider us a threat… yet…" Nog took the lead again. He was clearly more nervous than he wanted us to think. Can't say I felt good that the war veteran on the team was nervous. Well except the Jem'Hadar I guess but he didn't do much. Someone at the Academy told me that Jem'Hadar are just mindless killing machines, but I'm sure they have something to them, yet I couldn't deny he seemed impossibly cold to me.

We closed in on the morphogenic signal. And we all stopped. We were surrounded by Borg birthing chambers and the cries of babies… Strange to hear on a Borg ship… In the center of the room was some sort of vat with many connecting rods from the floor and ceiling. We watched as a huge needle came from the ceiling and went inside the vat. I was too curious for my own good and I went up slowly to give it look. Inside was what looked like a trapped Changeling. He was in his liquid state, and we could see him through some sort of gelatinous see-through material. The Changeling had black spots all over his golden orange "body". I read his life signs, but even with Doctor Bashir's research we really couldn't determine his health. I just knew it wasn't normal. The huge needle went through the gelatinous fiber and injected something into the changeling which turned him green. The gigantic needle stayed in place after that.

Kilana and Sect'Ikon approached and Kilana yelled, "We must release the Founder! The Borg will pay for this outrage!" So far, I had heard her negotiate and deceive everyone with a delicate voice, but this seemed like genuine rage, and it scared me a bit, so I backed off. The security people were aiming on either side of the corridor which led us here.

Sect'Ikon started trying to rip off the machines. He didn't have much luck. Nog stopped them.

"Phasers on stun first, rotate modulation after one second!" He said.

Sect'Ikon, Kilana, and Nog aimed their rifles at key joints on the structure on the top and sides and fired. The machine buzzed a moment, then nothing. Damn, I thought.

"Phaser setting four!" cried Nog. "Ready… fire!"

That did it, the machine sparked and smoked, and the entire section fluctuated with power. I fully expected the nearby drone to attack us. But after a moment they still hadn't…. Whatever Ezri was doing must be working.

Without thinking Sect'Ikon began to pick apart the pieces with his great strength. He scraped the hell out of the gelatinous mass, throwing huge chunks of it around… As he uncovered the Founder He stared at him… in awe… but also in… disappointment? It was as if his whole life were building to this. Kilana approached and looked. She nearly cried…

"We must heal him…" She pleaded.

Then the Changeling spilled out of the container without warning and roiled around in front of us in one writhing green mass. We all lifted our rifles, except for our Dominion friends. The security officers were shaking with fear, and everyone was sweating profusely. The discolored changeling was flooded with nanoprobes. We could tell because there were clusters of them spread evenly throughout the Changeling's body. Would he attack us? Could the Founder really be… assimilated?

Our answer came as the Changeling attacked one of our security men and knocked him over the side, killing him. I screamed and rolled to the side, dodging him.

Sect'Ikon stared in awe, something was gnawing at him but I couldn't be sure what.

He spoke with the Founder, "I had never seen a Founder before I saw you on the planet… the Borg… have overpowered you?"

The Changeling writhed; a mechanical voice emerged with a deep guttural shrieking. "We… are…. The Borg." He was struggling, the large mass of his body fluctuated as if something inside were trying to escape, from the top of the mass a tendril came out and began to form into a face, but the face wouldn't complete itself.

Kilana seemed submissive and bowed before the Founder. I could see Nog a hair away from pulling the trigger on the Founder, but something made him wait.

Kilana spoke without looking at the Founder. "Founder… I serve you in all things. You are hurt. Do you require assistance from your humble servants?" She was shaking in fear… It was disturbing really. Way weirder than all that the Exchequer business on Ferenginar. To give yourself over to something so completely, ignoring your rights as a living being…

The Changeling spoke again, "your Dominion culture… as it... has been… is over… the Founders now service the… Borg."

Kilana looked horrified, but she was even more scared of a Founder.

Then Sect'Ikon took a step forward and asked, "Why would a God serve anyone?"

Kilana turned to Sect'Ikon, "First! Be silent!"

Sect'Ikon did not, "Obedience… it has not brought victory. And you… claim godhood… but you fall prey to automatons… like the Borg…"

Kilana panicked before the assimilated Founder, begging him. "Founder! Please Ignore this fool! I will punish him for his doubts appropriately." She turned back to him furiously, "First! I trusted you with this new rank! Was I wrong?! A Jem'Hadar does not question a Founder!"

Sect'Ikon turned to the Founder. "The Borg have the Founder. If the Founder is a God, then the God has lost Himself. If one can lose Himself, they all can. Our service has nothing on which to be founded any longer…" Sect'Ikon rose his phaser and set it to full, aimed at Kilana.

Kilana raised her weapon to Sect'Ikon, "No! I… I will not abandon the Founder! We must… heal it of this poison. We must… do it's bidding!"

The tension was rising so fast.

"A God poisoned…," he said, full of doubt. "How do we save a Founder from Himself? Why should a God need to be saved?"

The Founder released a guttural noise, "hhhheeeeelp meee…." He writhed.

Kilana shook with fear and grief, "I am a Vorta! I will save the Founder! It is what we did for them all those years ago! It is why they blessed us with their love! A Jem'Hadar cannot understand!" She was crying profusely.

Sect'Ikon stared at her blankly and a still silence fell over us all. Sect'Ikon pondered his position and then he regained his certainty. He said, "You're right. I cannot."

And then he shot her. She vaporized right there, as if whisked away by a dark power. A brief look of shock covered her face before her molecules dissipated, leaving a burn on the floor.

Sect'Ikon stared forward at what he had done… Then he turned to the Founder next and fired.

The Founder screamed a roared a horrible scream. Nog gave the order, "FIRE!" and we all fired as well. After writhing like a gree-worm web in the storm-wind, the Changeling turned a white color from the sickly green it was. Then it exploded. Hot clear slime hit Sect'Ikon who shielded the rest of us from the blast. He managed to get most of it on his back... They left serious burns on him, but he didn't seem to care. He just stared at what he had done… Blank, but somewhere in there you could see his sadness, his grief at what he had to do for his god. Now I knew he wasn't mindless or unfeeling. I felt pretty bad for ever having wondered if he was.

Looking around, some of my crewmates seemed to think he would shoot us next. They were horrified and now aiming their weapons at him. I chose not to and lowered mine. Somehow… I couldn't blame him for doing what he did.

Nog saw me do this and relented as well. Lowering his rifle skeptically.

Sect'Ikon turned to us and spoke again with the usual conviction he had shown us so far, "We must complete our other objective."

After a pause, Nog nodded. There was severe distrust in the air, but Nog conceded to the logic of the situation. We needed Sect'Ikon's help.

It was then that Borg drones began activating and attacking us. One after the other. We began firing at them. Only two fell before they adapted. Crap. There went all the hope I had, which is generally very little. Not that I let anyone know.

Nog gave the order we were all thinking, "Retreat!"

Then the entire ship's power fluctuated a moment before coming back on. We all stared at the ceiling. Several drones, including five out of ten that were following us, dropped to the ground convulsing, their little servos audibly freaking out.

Then I heard what may have been the most beautiful sound the entire mission.

"Ezri to away team! Where are you guys?"

Nog answered her, "We're a little overwhelmed here Captain! The Changeling… It was too late for him! We have a plan to overload the ship but…!" He had some panic in his voice as we were still being followed by several Borg. They were dropping to our weapons again after the surge. He looked to me, expecting me to finish the report. Realizing I needed to do a scan, I opened my tricorder.

Over the commline we heard Ezri breathing heavily and firing her rifle several times.

Nog again, "Are you alright Captain!?"

She continued her gasping, "I'm fine, Nog! Never better!" She was being sarcastic, but it was welcome.

I finished my scan, "Hey Ezri! I'm picking up the signal we need! There's a huge power vein that's almost done regenerating! The Defiant can beam over something to interrupt it's process and flood it with power but we have to move fast, its far away."

Next , eight Borg jumped off their alcoves and tried to kill us. Sect'Ikon ducked under one mechanical arm swing and growled as he grabbed its arm and broke it in half. He hit it in the face with the mechanical arm and the Borg fell. I saw her face as she laid there, dead. She had been a Vulcan…

We turned a different path to avoid the new Borg. We were closing in on the signal.

Ezri again, "Send me the signal and I'll try to find you! The combadges are causing the Borg to locate us so radio silence everyone. I'll be there."

She had a way of making us feel like we would beat the odds.

Sect'Ikon took the lead, protecting us with a trust we could barely expect from a recent enemy. We snaked around corridors, split up to surround a Borg. Reset our weapons. And sweated and gasped our way to the signal. It felt like ages, but we found ourselves at the base of a huge conduit. It looked very much like a wire, but huge. The wire appeared almost burned out. I realized how close we must be to the edge of the ship to have found some of the damage we caused. Seven Borg drones turned to us when they saw us and went from working on the power node to trying to kill us. We fired… Nothing. We began to back up after they adapted, but then we heard seven loud pops "PAH! PAH! PAH! PAH, PAH PAH. PAH! And all seven of the Borg were struck with… bullets?! And dropped dead.

The shots had come from the side, so we looked over. And there was our Captain. She had crafted some sort of old-style projectile weapon out of some Borg materials and made a sniper rifle out of it. She dropped it and grabbed her phaser. She was climbing over wrecked pieces of the ship. She almost lost her footing but recovered by doing a cartwheel and kicking off the edge into a backflip. That gave her enough force to reach the floor below us. She wobbled a bit before turning around with a look of pure motherly concern.

"Is everyone okay?!" She came over and touched each one of our shoulders, waiting for a signal that we were okay. All I could do was beam at her. Holy shit. What. An. Entrance. I had just met her not a day ago and already I felt like she was my best friend, but now she might be the best Captain in Starfleet, and she's only a junior Lieutenant. At least… that was my very biased opinion.

When she got to Nog he reluctantly reported, "We lost Kilana, sir. And the Founder was…. He had been assimilated… We had to kill him…"

Ezri looked down at the ground. I think she had been hoping to save the Founder still. She didn't stay sad for long and looked up with determination again, "I see… then let's make sure it was worth it."

I signaled the Defiant, "Terin! How goes it up there old pal! Got that power cell for us?!"

Terin spoke with the playfulness he only showed to me, "Yes, ma'am I do!" Terin was having the time of his life. Can't imagine how.

Moments later our cube-shaped, glowing box came over. And Nog and I began to set it up.

While we were working, I caught site of Ezri looking to Sect'Ikon. She said, "I'm sorry…" and looked at him with respect. I couldn't tell if Ezri felt guilty or if she was just trying to acknowledge the Jem'Hadar's pain. But whichever it was, Sect'Ikon just gave her a sharp nod.

"It's ready!" I cheered, finishing up with the cell.

"Ezri to Defiant. Six to beam up."

And we all were carried on a flood of light… home.

Chapter Thirteen – Into the Arms of Angels

As told by Ezri Dax

My crew and I, back together again, took a hurried pace back to the Bridge. I found myself preoccupied with Elar's death. It was my mission to save him. I failed. And now I had to tell Opaka that he had died. But for the moment, the only thing left to do was save everyone else and stop this Borg threat to both Quadrants. I steeled myself and hurried to the Bridge.

As we arrived, we all took our new stations as I signaled the engine room, "How's she looking Nog?"

"The Defiant is still in bad shape!" He said. "I had my crew focus on the warp drive, but we had to take the weapons and shields offline to get the necessary power. We could go to Warp Seven, maybe higher, but I wouldn't recommend it, Captain!"

We stared at the Borg ship, still regenerating at an inevitable pace. I couldn't mask the fear in my voice anymore, "we need to get as much warp speed as you can muster, Nog, but if our plan doesn't work… we're the only thing standing between what's left of the Dominion… and genocide… we have to stay to make sure we're successful before we head home…" I don't think anyone looked thrilled at that order.

We waited… It was a deadly silence. I began to wonder if I was pushing my crew too hard. If this didn't work, we all had to make the ultimate sacrifice… But I guess that was our duty if it came to it. I couldn't tell you how long we stared down the Borg ship, scanning it as it regenerated. I was still sweating, even though the Defiant was a much more comfortable temperature. We crossed our fingers, sat on our hands, and hoped.

And then Lu's console beeped. We were all startled.

"Captain! I'm picking up a cascade reaction in their warp system!" Lu said.

And the Borg ship began to spark and explode bit by bit. Corner by corner.

"Take us away from the explosion Terin!" I cheered.

We backed up a good distance away and watched to make sure it disintegrated. Hope swelled across the Bridge.

Then a pushed itself over the comm and spoke to us, it was The Borg Queen, she sounded almost angry but sure of her power, "You will not escape me so easily… Amant…"

Hearing the Borg name that she had planned for me gave me the worst kind of goosebumps. We all heard it, but I don't think my crew understood much beyond the fact that The Borg weren't dead.

Terin gave an urgent report, "Captain? Picking up another Borg vessel disconnecting itself form the main cube. Its escaping from the center. A Borg spheres! Its weapons are engaged!"

The hope drained from my voice, "Nog?! Do you have those weapons?!"

Nog was panicking too, "N… No sir! It' would take at least an hour to channel the power from the engines but then we couldn't go to warp!"

That was when I realized we had no choice left but to run, "Helm, lay a course for the wormhole, maximum possible speed! Aft view on screen!"

And the Defiant turned on a dime for home as a Borg sphere followed us from the exploding ship. I sat back in the chair, exhausted, watching the ship close in.

Terin reported of his own volition, "Borg ship exceeding warp 9.5, sir!"

"Nog we need more speed!" I said.

"The Defiant is already strained at warp seven, sir!" He begged.

"I know but it's either we fly the ship apart or the Borg have us! I'm sorry, but we can't afford safety!"

"Already on it, sir!"

The ship began to rattle and shake, and I could hear the structural integrity straining. I was too scared to feel space sick though.

"Nog reported from the engine room. Warp 9.1, .2, .3…"

Terin again, "Borg ship closing! Ten seconds to wormhole!"

The Borg sphere began to fill more and more of viewscreen. Sect'Ikon was starting at it, then he closed his eyes. Lu looked the screen, and at me, as if begging to be saved. Terin held firm to his console, determined, breathing heavily.

"Nine, eight, seven, six, five, four…"

"9.4! 9.5! Max speed captian!" The ship rumbled and ruptured.

"Three, two, one!"

And we hit the wormhole. Its maw opened, swallowing us. We were surrounded now by tendrils of blue energy, flashes of white light. It really was like entering the gates of heaven. Trill don't generally believe in a heaven, not precisely. But the wormhole never looked more beautiful or holy to me in that moment.

Lu cringed and screamed, "Borg ship entering weapons range!" She braced herself for inevitable.

We all felt a jolt as Borg energy beams hit us and the bridge sparked and consoles shut down. I gripped the arms of my chair. I thought to myself, so end my first command, so ends Dax, and all these young lives… The weight of my failure hit me harder with each report. I barely knew who said what anymore.

"Borg ship has engaged a cutting beam and is cutting into the hull!"

"Coolant leak! Warp core breach in progress!"

"They're in transporter range!"

My mind flashed to Gul Dukat… eyes red… Pah-wraith possessed. I saw him using the Pah-wraith's power as I rose up, engulfed in flames… thrown to the ground, dead. I heard Jadzia's last words to Worf: Our baby, would've been so beautiful. I saw my crash landing, crawling from the wreckage, half dead. Hitting the distress call. This is Torias… Dax… And I saw myself. A Borg drone, spokeswoman for the assimilation of Bajor. I am Amant of Borg resistance is futile.

"Tractor beam engaged on our ship!"

"Intruder alert!"

Two Borg drones beamed to the Bridge. All I could do was close my eyes as they turned to me, feeling a lump in my throat…

Then all the noise stopped. I almost hadn't noticed. I opened my eyes. Two Borg drones stood there… frozen…

I stood up from the chair, my instincts returning to me. I saw steam and smoke from the ship's damage… just… stopped… still. As if time itself decided not to run anymore, except for me. I ran my hand through the smoke. It moved with me and stayed were I put it. I glanced at the view screen…. The Wormhole? It was still moving, flowing with energy…

I reached for the comm, but it didn't activate when I touched it. I felt a pang of frustration. Then my eyes passed the corner of the room, I saw what appeared... almost like a crack in glass, but the crack was in space itself. It grew bigger and I became aware of a high-pitched whine, which slowly grew in volume until it was more like a screech. The sound was almost like steam escaping an old teapot, or a rainforest full of cicadas. It grew louder, and soon it was deafening. The crack in space had an impossibly bright white light behind it. I turned around as I heard the sound and covered my ears. It didn't help at all. There were white cracks in the space all around me now. It was then that I realized it wasn't the walls of the Bridge that were breaking but it was me. The sound came from inside my own head and the cracks moved as I moved. I felt a sense of panic overwhelm me and I screamed out loud with fear. The cracks grew and grew until they were the majority of what I could see. White light. Then the light enveloped me, and the cracks and tears in my universe cut me to pieces… I became aware of my own heartbeat. It too filled the blank void. And everything was gone, even my life itself.

Chapter Fourteen – Home

As told by Dax

There was a white light. A noise of shrieking bugs. Insects… disgusting… run. Can't run. White light. Flashes of memory. Worf, Julian, Lenara, Nilani. Faces of lover and friends. Places. Trill, Deep Space Nine, Bajor, Earth. The bugs stopped. Heartbeat sound, like when underwater.

The crash. Hands. My body. Itwas the crash…

Torias Dax looked at his hands. He saw the console and spoke to himself.

"I'm… Torias?" he said with shock. But what shocked him even more was his voice. So low… it had been so long…

He felt weak… he was bleeding everywhere… He crawled from the wreckage of his shuttle… He made it a few feet when he saw the feet of a woman. He looked up to see the face of his great love, Nilani Kahn. She looked at him uncharacteristically. As if she had never seen him before. As if she felt no emotion at all to see him there.

"Nilani?" He asked weakly.

She replied as if only half interested in him, "A corporeal being? Facing death?"

Torias reached up to Nilani, begging her to save him with his eyes, she grabbed him, looking curious and wide-eyed. She didn't feel like another Trill, she felt like… He didn't know what.

As their hands touched, she was suddenly Lenara Kahn rather than Nilani. The blood was gone, as was the crash. It was the Bajoran Temple on DS9, and the Orb of Contemplation. The hands were different now, soft.

Lenara's hand helped him up, "Thanks." He said.

It wasn't his voice anymore. She was Jadzia Dax now. This is where she died. She looked around, shocked to be alive. Behind her was Gul Dukat.

"Dukat!" She said backing way but standing firm.

The heartbeats had been joined by two more.

Dukat spoke, but it wasn't him, "This is the one from before."

Lenara continued for him, "The one with the Sisko."

Dukat and Lenara walked circles around Jadzia examining her, "She was not the One. It was the Sisko's time."

Jadzia began to think… Where am I Then she remembered she was in the wormhole?

"You're the wormhole aliens!" She exclaimed.

She jumped in surprise again. She was on the Defiant now, the Borg Queen was on the screen, her new crew around her. She was shorter. She was Ezri again.

The Prophet in the form of the Queen spoke over the screen, "There is the One."

She seemed warmer to Ezri, as if she were an old friend. Ezri couldn't understand how that could be, she had never spoken to a Prophet. Not even Kira had.

The surroundings changed again; they were at DS9 in Quarks. She was still surrounded by her crew. She felt dizzy. All this switching was disorienting.

A Prophet, appearing as Quark stared at her, inquisitive. Another Prophet appearing as Kira spoke to her form the other side again. She looked shorter, and she had short hair and was wearing a uniform from a few years ago.

"This one is not the One. She is but a follower. A guide." The Kira Prophet said.

She was Jadzia again.

The Quark one spoke to Jadzia, or to the other Propeht? "She is… not corporeal? Only the One is."

Jadzia opened her mouth to speak, and then she was Ezri again. She was with Julian now, in his bedroom. She jolted up from the bed, a little terrified.

The Julian Prophet spoke, he seemed to look at her almost the way the real Julian did, "The Sisko told us of you, but we knew you." He smiled at her so warmly.

Suddenly they were at the Academy of the 23rd century, the uniforms were the old red ones, she responded to him, though the Julian Prophet was now a young Elias Vaughn.

Ezri spoke but the voice and old man came out, "Heard about me from Benjamin, eh?"

She was Curzon now, an instructor. Middle aged.

Curzon felt invigorated. Young again. Hah! How refreshing!

The Elias impersonator spoke to him, "This one is aggressive. He exists in many places. A long linear existence."

Suddenly Curzon was on the operating table looking to Jadzia as Dax was exchanged between them… or was she Jadzia now, looking at him?

He spoke again, "If by that you mean I'm old, well, that's correct." It was the exact inflection Curzon would take but it was Jadzia talking, not Curzon. It was a strange sensation for her and for him, staring… at themselves…

Jadzia tried to stay focused and asked these Prophets, "Why are you doing this to me?"

And just like that she was Ezri again, talking to a Prophet who looked like Admiral Beckford on the DS9 Ops screen, "I'm confused enough as it is." She held her stomach, pained.

The Beckford Prophet looked puzzled but warm, "We've done nothing to you. We could never harm you. Just as you would never harm us." This Prophet seemed almost hurt that Ezri had asked such a question.

Ezri spoke again, suddenly she had a baby in her arms and she was in her old house on Trill where she raised children. She was Audrid now as she said, "I am a counselor, I took an oath to do no harm at Starfleet Medical. I try to have compassion…"

Audrid held her head and winced, "But this… I'm… I'm no longer alive. It's Ezri… Ezri you must save Ezri!"

She was Ezri again, now on the Destiny. She was in the very same outfit she gave to Lu, her hair was long to her shoulders. She and a Prophet impersonating Brinnor, an old boyfriend from before she was joined, were looking at the Dax symbiont. It sat in a box full of liquid, clinging to life. Or was she clinging to life? Ezri felt Dax's pain in her own stomach.

The Brinnor Prophet spoke, walking closer to the Dax symbiont, "This being… connects you?"

It was very odd to see Brinnor, who couldn't handle Ezri after she was joined, looking so warmly at the symbiont… or her.

"That's Dax…" Ezri said. She sounded softer even than usual. "This was the day I was joined."

Then she flashed to the operating table in the same sick bay. Doctor T'Larin, the Vulcan Doctor of the Destiny was there. He was another Prophet. He held Dax in his hands above her. Ezri looked up from the operating table in awe.

The T'Larin Prophet spoke, "It is corporeal, but within it is held being like us. Non-corporeal." He seemed flooded with emotion. Incredibly strange from someone who appeared Vulcan. "You truly are the One."

Suddenly she was battling Worf with a Bat'leth. Tall again. She must be Jadzia again.

The Worf Prophet stopped the fight. "But you are beset by aggressive beings. Dangerous urges. They must be purged. We must protect the One."

Jadzia spoke with certainty, "I have control over them!"

But it wasn't Jadzia's voice. It was Joran's.

At last he was Joran again! The only worthy host!

Now he was killing one of his victims, just as the fool had deserved all those years ago. Just as he needed to kill him. He heard the cry of the warrior, as Worf might say. He heard the music in his head. Such beautiful music did he make! He smiled with glee, he writhed in terror, as he looked at the body below. The body spoke. The wretch. It was one of these Prophets.

"This one is dangerous. Aggressive. Why do you let him guard you?" He asked.

Joran spoke, as indignant as he had the right to be, "Why shouldn't they let me guard them? I give them strength. I deserve recognition." The bloody knife dripped to the ground. And Joran was suddenly on the battlefield of AR-558. A Jem'Hadar hit him in the face and he fell. He saw crewman Kellin and felt a pull of compassion. Ridiculous, the fool couldn't survive combat. He deserved his fate. But he had been defeated too. Kellin had been nice to him. No wait! NO! He panicked.

Now she was Ezri again, "She looked at her hands as a Jem'Hadar looked at her from above. A Prophet. He smiled at her. "We understand, he can be… useful in corporeal existence… saved for the needed moments. He exists here, a protector."

Ezri rose up, but she was Tobin now, the engineer, "What do you mean…? Exists here? I mean… I don't exist anymore, Ezri does. I like her. She's nice."

A Prophet now took the form of Tobin's wife. He was so lucky to have her. Such a special woman… she talked to him.

She had such a beautiful voice and spoke to him, "…But you exist here. The Sisko taught us about linear existence. We understand but still…" She turned to the side and gestured to a window. "You are here."

Tobin watched as he saw himself on the Borg ship, crafting a weapon out of Borg parts.

"But… that was Ezri…" He questioned.

Joran appeared behind him, scarin Tobin to death. He was here too.

He spoke just behind his right ear, "I was there too you know."

Tobin jumped back. "Aah!"

Next Jadzia's voice came from the corner. The heartbeats multiplied, flooding the pocket of existence they occupied like

"Leave him alone, Joran." Jadzia commanded.

She stared Joran down, eye to eye, face to face. Joran stood examining her.

He accused, "The Pretender is here, you're just like Ezri, but at least Ezri appreciates my gifts."

She stood firm, and she was Curzon now, crawling around Odo's quarters as a mouse during Jadza's zhian'tara. He was Odo too.

Joran was still there imposing his will. Curzon was unafraid, "You won't hurt either of them Joran. Huh!" His voice sounded more like Odo than Curzon. Curzon got in Joran's and smiled at how pathetic he was. Joran felt a wave of dizziness which overtook Curzon too.

Curzon felt a pain in his head, "NO" he cried. They both collapsed.

Ezri was back again, she held her head. "Please stop! I'm so lost!" Tears began to well up in her eyes. She felt so small.

A prophet in the form of Julian was there now, they were now in the Infirmary on DS9.

The Julina Prophet spoke, "We don't do anything. You exist as this." He held her hand and knelt before her. "We cannot hurt you, nor you hurt us."

"I don't understand!" Ezri cried. "I'm not doing any of this changing! This only started happening when I entered your home. Your wormhole."

Julian stood and lifted her up off the patient's chair, it wasn't actually him, but somehow it felt like him.

"Let me show you." He said

They were on the Borg ship now, watching as Lela Dax talked to the Queen, speaking the words what Ezri had spoken. Lela was an accomplished mediator.

"For a species all about technology and materialism, you seem to think quite highly of yourself. How did you get to be that way?" Lela said.

Suddenly Lela was Ezri, Ezri watched herself speaking to the Queen, "Why do you assimilate other races?"

Then it was later as she was climbing the damaged pieces to reach her crew. She watched as Curzon, instead of her, sniped the Borg with the field weapons. Next she was Emony, using gymnastic skills to reach her new crew. Emony looked at Ezri with concern. Ezri knew Emony was looking at Ezri's crew and not her, but it still felt unnerving. All of them were her somehow.

The Julian Prophet stopped the memory, "They exist with you." He said.

Ezri was still confused. She now found herself on the operating table before being joined, she continued to speak, trying to ignore the constant moving between memories. The symbiont Dax was above her again. Or was she above herself?

Ezri asked the Prophets for answers, "But they died, they were my past hosts, I only carry their memories."

The T'Larin Prophet spoke, "But… they are here. Living within you."

"No, you don't understand," Ezri said. "That's Dax. I'm the host for it."

T'Larin looked confused, "But they protect you. You are the One. You are of Bajor."

Ezri felt more confusion overtake her, "No… I'm not, I was born on another planet. You must have me confused for someone else."

He repeated himself, "You are of Bajor."

Ezri opened her mouth, about to object. But she couldn't. She had no way of explaining it. How would non-linear being even understand the idea of being born, dying, moving from one home to another? But more than that, she wasn't even sure she understood it anymore.

They flashed to memories of the Destiny but earlier, she was watching Dax as it was dying without a host.

The Doctor continued, "You face death. The Termination of your linear existence. It is not time. This is not right for you."

He took her shoulders and kneeled down so that he was looking up to see her, "You protect us, we protect you. You are the One."

Ezri looked relieved, but she was Jadzia again, "Thank you, but… why are you doing this for me?"

T'Larin walked up to her, she was Ezri again, "You are… family."

She was Audrid now, sitting in her backyard on Trill. She asked, "Family?"

T'Larin was her son Gran now. The Gran Prophet just smiled. Audrid couldn't help but smile back. Gran was such a cute kid.

Everything faded to white. Slowly the heartbeats became only a single heartbeat, and the white light returned.

Chapter Fifteen – New Life

Part 1

As told by Ezri Dax

I came back to reality leaning against the captain's chair, head resting on the arm of it. Lu was looking over me.

"Ezri? Are you okay!?" She fussed over me, checking me for injuries.

It felt like recovering from a deep dream, but it had felt so real. And confusing. I realized what had been happening, the Propehts talked to me,

I replied to Lu. "Yes, I'm okay." I tried ot regain my composure and focus on the mission. "Where are the Borg?" I asked, ready to fight them yet again.

Lu responded, "The beamed onto the Bridge and then… just disappeared… like they were never there. Then you fell out of your chair. I think you passed out, but it looks like you're okay. We should have the Doctor look at you."

I began to panic, recalling our status. "I'll see Julian later. What's the status of the Borg ship?"

I staggered to my feet. And looked at the view screen I saw the Borg sphere drilling into the ship but then…. it just… vanished. As if it had never been there, like Lu said.

I blinked… then stepped forward to look at the screen. I couldn't believe what I had seen. It was just… gone.

"Nog?" I asked. "How's our ship?"

Nog replied over the comm. "The warp core breach is gone, Captain. It just stopped and… repaired itself. Like it had never even started…" The same thing.

Nog was as stunned as I was. I begun to realize what happened. The aliens… the Prophets… they saved us… But Benjamin said they chose not to interact with most corporeal beings outside of Bajor, except him. And for their help against the Dominion, even he had to pay some sort of price. But they didn't ask anything of me. And who's 'The One?' Why did they call me that? As my mind returned to the experience, I put my hand on my abdomen. They called them 'protectors…' My past hosts… They said that Dax is the host, not me… I didn't know what to think. But somehow… I felt better about being joined than I ever had. Maybe it was just wishful thinking.

I snapped into reality again, the whole crew stared at me. I spoke to Nog again, "Engine status?"

Nog replied dutifully. "They're strained… but normal, it's as if the Borg sphere had never damaged us."

I looked at Terin, "Then…" I paused for a moment, taking in the situation, "take us… take us home, Terin." I felt a wave of joy overwhelm me and I smiled when I said 'home.'

We began to move through the Wormhole again. Seconds later we emerged in the Alpha Quadrant. A convoy of twelve Federation ships greeted us along at Deep Space Nine. The station's lights were on. They were okay too!

My eyes watered a bit, "We made it!"

We came in the station at the docking ring with Kai Opaka among us. As we entered the Promenade nearly every Bajoran on the station flooded to see us. They looked at her in awe. Some cried. The remaining Nol and Ennis looked around examining the station, thrilled to be off their planet finally. I had chosen to walk next to the Kai and a lot of Bajorans were looking at me with a certain amount of awe as well. Though I'm sure it was only because I was partly responsible for bringing Opaka to them.

We were eventually greeted by Nerys who's eyes met the Kai's. The room fell silent as Nerys examined her. She was terribly grieved to see Opaka so scarred from the war on her planet, but also grateful beyond words for her return. She almost immediately began to cry. I felt a slight twinge of jealousy that she was so focused on Opaka. I think part of me hoped she would be happy to see me too, but that was hardly fair. Opaka was the long-lost spiritual leader, not me.

Nerys dropped to one knee and took Opaka's hand, and then she smiled, "Welcome home!" she shook Opaka's hand with her whole heart as she welcomed her. Then Nerys stood up again stood back up.

Opaka nodded to her and smiled. She turned back to the crowd.

"My children… my task in the Gamma Quadrant is complete. I have returned home with new students of the Prophets." She gestured to her people, but she made direct eye contact with me when she did it. I felt… No, I can't explain it. There are no words for the uncomfortable sensation I felt.

Opaka Continued, "A new day has dawned for Bajor. The Prophets have shown me that warmer days are ahead for our people. The time for the Mother of the Prophets is coming soon."

The Bajorans clapped, a few cheered.

Nerys spoke to Opaka, "The Mother? From Talnot's Prophecy?"

Opaka looked at her, "I see you have been studying your prophecies child. Good. Each sign has shown itself, save a few. But my faith tells me rest shall arrive in time."

The walk continued but Elias Vaughn pulled my crew aside. He seemed particularly disheveled, as if he had aged a decade in a few hours.

He had Julian next to him while he spoke to me, Lu, Terin, and a few crewmen. He looked down with a grumpy demeanor. He seemed smaller to me now, but everyone else was clearly still intimidated.

"… I was wrong about you… I thought of you as undisciplined, too young, too foolish…" He said.

He was mostly looking at me now.

"But you completed the mission when I couldn't. I'm… sorry… that I misjudged you." Elais struggled with the word 'sorry.' I cringed with his pain.

Julian smiled, as if he were Elias' father making him apologize. It was kind of amusing frankly.

I reached out for his hand. Faking as much warm feelings as I could. It was easier since he was so humbled now. He took it with some reluctance and shook it.

He said, "I look forward to working with you… Ezri Dax…"

Then he walked away, no doubt to make his report to Kira. I guess I needed to do that too.

Part 2

As told by Julian Bashir

Julian Bashir found himself back in his Infirmary. There he had finished his research on Ketrecel-White. Sect'Ikon sat with him as Julian gave a report. After everything that happened, Julian felt grim, even giving him good news. In his hand he held the greatest treasure for Jem'Hadar. A replacement… and a cure for their addiction. Julian may bask in his work at times but today he felt glad to have it done. He and Sect'Ikon looked at the sealed bodies of Sect'Ikon's kin. Their lives lost because of what the Founders promised them. Because of their pain. Julian again mareveled at how pain can be twisted into as much a danger as it help living being avoid. Too much pain is as life threatening as any outside force. As Sect'Ikon watched the bodies, Julian handed him the vial of blue liquid.

"This is it. I found a way to replace it." Julian said.

Sect'Ikon simply looked it, "This is a new white?" he inquired.

Julian clarified, "Partially. It would not work in the long term, however. But sequencing your genome allowed me to find a way to cure your dependency. Finally…"

Julian thought of the time the Jem'Hadar tried to force him to cure their dependence. What he hadn't considered as a solution then is what he considered now.

Julian continued, "This compound will allow you to survive, and to each Jem'Hadar that uses it regularly. It…" Julian looked down, feeling ashamed of himself. "It resequences your genome so that your body produces the chemicals it has been lacking. Slowly… your vital organs begin to produce the compound by themselves. After a month of using this... You won't need anything at all."

Sect'Ikon took the vial and stared at it, without looking at Bashir he said, "Your Federation bans most forms of genetic engineering."

Julian looked down, thinking of his father, "That's right… But… in some cases where the need is great… we use it." Julian pondered that if not the epiphany he had with Elias… he would never have considered it.

Sect'Ikon stared at it, "Again… I defy the rules…"

"Sect'Ikon I…" Julian was interrupted before he could finish.

"No. that is no longer my name… The Founders grant us our names. The first part of it is the 'Jem'. It acknowledges our status as a special servant to the Founders. The 'Hadar' half of our names is what we are born as. We earn the 'Jem' when we come of age… I have killed a Founder and broken my oath to them. I am granted only a 'Hadar' now. Ikon is the only name left for me. I cannot go back to them."

Julian paused. He was a man who had betrayed his people. He had done it all to save them, but he couldn't manage it, and for that he couldn't face his people. Julian felt he understood Ikon more in that moment than any other time. He was the loneliest man in the world. Homeless. An outcast. Even if the Founders took him back, he couldn't live with himself that way.

"Ikon." Julian asked him. "What will you do now?"

He looked at Bashir with what seemed to be a shadow of genuine fear. "I… do not know."

Julian wanted to comfort him, so he handed him another vial of the cure.

"Wll… with this, you're free. It may be difficult to understand but that is a victory. And… after all… 'victory is life.'"

Ikon took the vile, staring at it with a sense of certainty and doom, and said,"… No… it is not."

Part 3

As told by Ezri Dax

There was a party in Quarks. The crew and I were gathered, celebrating. I found myself getting lost in thought. Lu and I were at the bar when Quark came to see us…

Lu prepared herself, as did I, for another unpleasant interaction. I was about to tell Quark we couldn't be friends after what he said to her but the look in his eyes made me stop…

Quark looked to me, and then to Lu and said, "Do you hate being a Ferengi?"

She was exhausted by the question.

"Quark…" I said with poorly concealed rage.

"Please… just answer me…" he said. Almost begging.

Lu took a sip. "Well… sometimes I do… because I know my life could have been better if I had been born elsewhere. I don't care for the body I was born with much… but I'm taking care of that. If not for the way Ferengi men in particular have treated me… I doubt I would hate it as much."

Quark acted like that was the answer he was expecting. He breathed a sigh of acceptance. He looked around the bar.

"Teaching Ferengi to hate being Ferengi… All along. That's what we've been doing?" He said.

"In a way..." Lu chimed in, a little taken aback by the question, "But things are getting better."

Quark looked back to her, "I used to think that what my brother has been up to over there was destroying what it means to be a Ferengi… It was ridiculous to me… to throw away everything we are in favor of reforms and rights? Ferengi throwing away greed?! Even the most destitute among us had dreams, HAD… greed!"

He paused, "…But you never did have that did you?"

Lu seemed deeply affected on some level by what he said, "No… No I didn't… Profit seeking ahs always annoyed me to be frank with you Quark."

Quark continued, "… I thought that what Rom was doing was destroying what it meant to be Ferengi. Ferengi would grow up hating what they are! Just like I grew up hating how much I wasn't like other, richer Ferengi. But all along… we were already teaching Feregni to hate themselves… I had no idea…"

I felt touched deeply by this gesture from Quark. He had restored my faith in him. Lu stood stunned.

Quark kept it up, "I guess I owe you and apology… I'm sorry. No really… I don't claim to understand you. I don't understand what motivates you if not greed or desire. But I'll try to understand…" He held out his hand, using the Earth gesture for shaking hands that Lu had grown accustomed to. To me, it showed he was meeting her where she was at.

"To starting over?" He proposed.

Lu stared at his hand for a long time. She didn't at all expect this kind of a gesture. But she accepted it and shook his hand.

"Okay…" She said. She still seemed skeptical, and I didn't blame her, but I knew Quark… He was growing. Maybe there was hope for him after all.

Sometime later we were in the Wardroom. Opaka had been quickly reinstated as the new Kai and we now stood in our dress uniforms, as many of us as we could, for a ceremony that I wished so badly that Benjamin could attend. Seven years and Bajor officially was joining the Federation. Opaka and the First Minister signed the official papers and we all clapped.

Admiral Beckford spoke, "This marks an occasion we have all been waiting for. We are pleased to accept Bajor into the United Federation of Planets. 'Each of us is stronger together than we are apart.'"

Opaka remarked, "The famous words of the old Kai Maressa. May we heed them well, and may the Prophets guide us all."

We all clapped again. I couldn't stop smiling.

Beckford continued, "An officer here today has made what may be the first gesture of this new union. Colonel Kira Nerys, choosing to remain in command, is grated a full commission as Captain of this station, under Starfleet."

Nerys stood up, wearing a standard Starfleet command uniform. Beckford pinned four pips on her collar. She seemed a little uncomfortable, but I knew this was a huge gesture of trust. Nerys was the only one who could make it. And I had to admit, she looked good. Nerys forced a smile, but I knew this would be a lot for her to get used to. Hopefully I can help her, I thought. The various formalities and acknowledgements passed by and a few of the dignitaries passed in and out. Just as I was getting the inkling to leave, Nerys turned to me.

"Ezri! Wait!" She said.

Admiral Beckford and most of the Starfleet crew were still here. Beckford had a medal in a case that I had only just noticed. I wondered who it was for. Nerys?

Nerys took something off the table and walked to me. She smiled the way she always does, and I couldn't help but smile back. "Well," she said, "Now that I'm a Captain there's something I have the power to do. My first official act as a member of the Starfleet."

I looked up at her quizzically. She took the black pip off my dress uniform as replaced it with a full one.

Nerys continued, "I think you've more than earned a promotion to full Lieutenant. Good work, Ezri. Now I'd give you a medal but that isn't within my power."

I smiled, feeling rather embarrassed. Usually, these sorts of things happen on announcement, and I was wondering why they kept it secret.

And then Admiral Beckford chimed in, and I found out why, "Fortunately, as an Admiral, I can grant medals.

I looked at her like a Aligian deer at the sunrise, and the medal she had in the small case, "What?" I practically gasped.

She gestured to the crew that I commanded. "The crew from your last mission were deeply Impressed with you Lieutenant. Lieutenant Nog here contacted me and asked that you be given this award."

Nog bragged, "I took a class with the Admiral at the Academy, she remembered me." He smirked with his usual Ferengi pride."

Beckford picked it back up, "And after hearing from everyone, I decided that I had to agree."

She nodded at Nog

Nog pulled out a boatswain's whistle and blew the customary notes, "Attention!"

Everyone in the room moved in unison into two parallel lines around me. At the end of their lines was the Admiral. I stared at the Defiant crew. Lu, Nog, and Terin were there. Terin was leaning on his cane and had stood for me too. There were several crewmen who I didn't know but I felt the overwhelming urge to get to know them. Maybe some would come by for counseling. I saw Julian there too who smiled at me warmly and nodded. I felt my eyes swell with tears. I didn't feel like I deserved this, but everyone in the room clearly disagreed.

I started to walk slowly to Beckford glancing nervously at all the people around me, and when I reached her, I looked up at her. I felt so small.

"Lieutenant Ezri Dax… for taking command of the USS Defiant and showing incredible skill in engineering, starship operations, science, diplomacy, and command. For inspiring your fellow crew members to follow you and overcoming insurmountable odds in defense of a species facing annihilation. I am pleased to present to you the Christopher Pike Medal of Valor." She took it out of its case and pinned it to my chest. "It is rare for one so young, even a joined Trill, to receive this honor, and even rarer for those who attended Starfleet Medical or those at only the rank of Lieutenant. You should be proud."

I had a lump in my throat, but I managed to get out the only thing I could think to say, "Thank you."

The room erupted into applause, and I looked back at everyone, award on full display. I was too embarrassed to keep eye contact with anyone and was overwhelmed by all the praise… but deep down I truly was grateful. Two years ago, I could never have dreamed of a moment like this.

Sometime later I was back in standard uniform and found myself looking out the same window. The wormhole lit up in a blaze of glory. Blue and yellow. I felt as if I could reach out and touch it. It was dusk on Bajor now. The station had turned so you could see the Denorios belt in its hazy violet beauty. Life on the station was bustling and happy. The Bajorans were filled with joy now and there were new Starfleet and Bajoran crews pouring in. Everything was blessed with new life. I marveled at it.

"The Prophets really spoke to you, did they?" I turned to see Nerys standing with me looking out the window, clad in her new uniform. I was so fixated on the stars I hadn't noticed her approach me.

I replied with some discomfort, "…I guess so."I tried ot laugh off my nerves, but I couldn't guess how she'd think of me now. I didn't want her to think of me as anything more than she was. Anything, more than someone there to support her.

"You brought Opaka back, saved Odo, you've done a lot for Bajor… And for me… I just want you to know I'm grateful." She said.

I replied to Nerys smiling but distracted, "I'm sure you'd have done the same for me."

Nerys continued, "Kai Opaka insists she's not the Mother of the Prophets, but all the evidence so far points to her."

I responded, "It wouldn't be the first time a revered figure for the Bajorans had trouble accepting their role…" I remembered Benjamin again, wondering what he would think, where he was.

Nerys agreed, "He should be here to see all that's happened…"

She paused, looking almost afraid, "What do you think of the Prophecy?"

"Me? I'm not sure it's any of my business," I said.

She just looked at me, looking almost sad. She considered it my business now. I didn't want to disappoint her, but I didn't want to lie either, so I tried to recover my words.

"Uhm… I don't know really. The… Prophets didn't give me any hints about anything but myself." I said, confused.

Nerys responded, "The Prophets teach us a lot about ourselves that we don't always understand. At least at first."

I just stared at the spot the wormhole sits, trying to accept Nerys' words.

Nerys looked at me, "Listen… I'm not telling you what to believe, Ezri. But…" She touched my shoulder, and I felt my heart skip a beat. "If you want a place with us, you've got it. You've been touched by the Prophets. You'll always be welcome."

I felt touched and turned to her, "Thank you Nerys that, means a lot… I'll… give it some thought…"

She put her arm around me and gave me a one-armed hug from the side. Then she smiled at me and walked off. Part of me wishes she had stayed. I looked down at the Bajorans again. Was I really 'of Bajor?' I didn't understand how. I wasn't born here. I didn't ask to be dragged into their religion. Then again I didn't ask for a lot of things that happened to me.

I turned to the window again. The beauty of space hit me again and I smiled. I supposed that I didn't know everything. But I wanted to explore. To see it all, take in the whole of the galaxy. I no longer felt haunted by anything, and I couldn't wait to see what the future would bring, even the unexpected.

I put my hand in my pocket, taking out the earring Opaka gave me. "When I was ready." She had said. I hadn't shown Nerys what it was. I wasn't sure I wanted to know what sort of special meaning it had. But somehow, I wasn't scared of it anymore. The Wormhole flashed open again as a ship passed on through. I couldn't help but wonder where it was going; where we're all going, and smile.