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Chapter 3

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Alina, irritated and confused, took as little time as possible to splash water on her face and clean up, using the warmed water in the second bucket. She had swung the door almost closed, leaving an inch of space for her light to leak into the hallway and darkness beyond. Her task completed, she grabbed the water canteen and ushered the ball of light forward ahead of her.

Somewhat wistfully remembering the scented soap and plush towels of the palace, she moved out into the hallway. The yellow light tossed in front of her illuminated another open doorway. The edge of a bed was visible, with one of their bags sitting on it. She crossed directly into the room, swinging the door closed without bothering to push it until it latched.

Three minutes later, dressed in an oversized tunic that might have fit her had she been three times as large, she emerged and walked toward the front room, rubbing her hair dry with the shirt she'd had on earlier in the day, the canteen pinned under one arm.

Alina began speaking as if there had been no break in their conversation. "Why would you even bring that up?" she asked, her head tilted to the side as she tousled her still-damp hair. Mal was sitting at the small table, and Alina placed the water in front of him. He didn't look up. "You saw me with Aleksander. You've made your mind up about what it meant. Based on all of your self-imposed rules, you weren't trying to get me to sleep with you tonight. And just in case I was willing to disregard the limitations you set on yourself, that insult about the length of time between romantic partners was a pretty fantastic insurance policy. Guaranteed to make sure I wouldn't want to sleep with you. Right?" she asked, her voice hard. "Are you just angry? Jealous? Did you want to embarrass me? Hurt me?"

Mal looked up, slightly horrified. "No," he said quietly but firmly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to seem…" He sighed. "I never want to hurt you."

"Is it because there's only one bedroom, and one bed?" Alina sat down on a rickety chair that wobbled slightly under her minimal weight, across the table from Mal. The rest of the room was empty, with what looked like a pathetic, abandoned attempt at a kitchen along one wall. Mal took a sip of water, and screwed the cap back on silently.

"Why did you bring it up in the first place?" Alina repeated firmly.

Realizing she wasn't going to stop with her questions until he gave her an answer, Mal finally said, "I don't know. It was a convenient scab to pick," he finished.

"Because you didn't trust yourself to sleep beside me tonight without… complications?" Alina asked. "You're a pretty controlled guy, Mal." Alina crossed her legs and leaned back in the chair. "Was that all for my benefit? Out of the two of us, am I the unpredictable one you can't guarantee will behave herself? Do you think I've developed a penchant for throwing myself at whatever warm body is near me? Were you trying to piss me off to the point that I—what? Kicked you out and told you to sleep outside?"

Nothing.

Alina made a noise of frustration at Mal's silence and stood. She walked swiftly out of sight down the hallway and returned immediately with the bottle of alcohol from the bathroom. She reached across the table and switched the water for the alcohol, slamming the bottle down with more force than was necessary, and unscrewed the cap. "Drink," she demanded. Mal looked up at her. She raised her eyebrows and nodded in the direction of the bottle. "Drink." Mal took a sip, and carefully replaced the container on the uneven table surface. "Again," Alina instructed, still standing.

Mal narrowed his eyes and looked up at her. "Why?" he asked, suspicious.

"Because I want you to talk to me, and if that means I have to get you drunk for that to happen, so be it."

Mal rolled his eyes and pushed the alcohol back an inch toward her. "I do trust you. And I do trust myself, but that doesn't mean I'm going to enjoy the night, lying next to you. I suppose I figured it would be… easier…if you're angry with me. But the real reason I brought it up was… I spent the majority of today walking in silence. Getting you away from a monster, and a life you didn't want. Running with you. Because I didn't protect you in the first place." Mal sighed, and Alina lowered herself down onto a chair across the table.

"I screwed up. I don't deserve…" Mal looked down at the scarred wood of the table and shook his head.

"You are not to blame for my life's recent implosion," Alina said quietly. Mal looked up, and Alina held his gaze earnestly. "I feel like a thousand years wouldn't be enough to thank you for everything you've done for me."

After a beat, Mal gave a miserable attempt at a smile and bobbed his head, reluctantly accepting her thanks.

"And I understand you feel like you failed, for not 'saving' me sooner. But that wasn't your job. I made decisions, too, and some of the things that happened were outside both of our control. The fact that we're in this situation is not my fault, nor is it yours. I have no idea what the next few days…weeks…months… have in store for us. But right now, tonight, it looks like we're all each other's got. We need to work together. We need to have each other's backs. No more pushing my buttons just so I'll lash out at you, and no more pushing me away when I can help." Alina grabbed the alcohol and took a generous swallow.

Alina pushed back from the table and motioned for Mal to do the same. "Do you want to wash up, too?" she asked. Mal sighed. He looked exhausted, but he nodded. "Okay. Let's go. Let me just...find the bed again, and then you can have the light."

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