In the end, it's relatively simple. She doesn't have to go after Lex, doesn't have to compromise herself and her work to track his slimy ass and rip him apart ; no, in the end it's simple and clean and so like the Lex she remembers, organised, pragmatic. He slips back into her life with the easiness of a knife into butter, his blade lodging itself somewhere in the vicinity of her heart and she knows she can't take it out now, or the damage will be irreversible.
She feels cold all over, and has to lock her knees in place to stop them from trembling. She does a poor job of it, knows Lex can see the way her right leg is shaking uncontrollably, but it's the best she can do right now. She takes a deep breath, and opens her mouth to scream. If she's loud enough, surely someone will hear her.
Lex tuts disapprovingly, turning her computer screen her way. "I wouldn't if I were you," he says, pointing at a live feed of Ruby's school, a couple of early student mingling on the sidewalk. "I've planted a Kryptonite bomb under the brat's chair," he continues, "just in case you thought I didn't know. Are you willing to risk her just to get to me ?"
"Threatening a child ? I expected better of you."
Lena walks further into the room, casually dropping her files on the desk in a show of confidence greatly undermined by the fact that she's still shaking like a leaf.
Lex smiles, cold, and devoid of emotion. "You don't want to play this game with me Lena."
"I might," she replies through clenched teeth, splaying her fingers on the desk. Kara's suit's got an anti-Kryptonite feature. Taking in consideration her usual speed and the distance between CatCo and Ruby's school, she could be here on time if she knew about the bomb.
"No you don't."
Lex changes the feed and Kelly comes into view, back to the camera as she turns to kiss Alex goodbye before leaving for work. There's a bright red dot on her tan jacket.
"How loud do you think your sister will cry when I kill her wife in front of her ?" he asks casually. "I'm a little hurt you've replaced me to be honest, but at least it's another Alex."
"What do you want Lex ?"
"Oh, I have a long list of demands, but we can start from the bottom and work our way up. Sit."
Lena eyes the chair warily, but doesn't obey. Her heart is out of control, blood pumping so fast that it hurts in her chest. Almost like it's been planned, her phone goes off with an incoming text.
"We don't have time for that," Lex snaps. "Sit."
"It's probably Kara. If I don't reply, she's going to come here."
"What does it say ?" Lex asks impatiently. "The text, what does it say ?"
Steadying her hand, Lena fishes in her bag for her phone, unlocking it with some difficulty. "Are you okay baby ?" she reads. "Your heart rate is all over the place."
Lex grimaces. "Disgusting. Tell her you saw a spider and took care of it. If the Kryptonian comes anywhere near this building the shrink gets it."
Lena does as told, shows him the screen then pockets her phone, the device heavy against her skin.
"Good. Now sit."
Lena eyes the chair again but doesn't move.
"For fuck's sake Lena the chair's not gonna eat you. Sit !"
She startles at his tone, hit harder than if he'd slapped her, and, resolve crumbling, she fumbles around until she's seated, refusing to sag into the comfortable chair.
"Good," he snarls, "not that hard is it ? Now we can talk." He shoves his hand in his pocket, extracting a folded and crumpled piece of paper. "I took notes," he says with a wide smile.
For the first time since she's stepped inside the room, Lena allows herself to really look at her brother, taking in his manic expression, the way his tie is crooked and his stripped shirt rumpled at the collar. He's trimmed his beard but he doesn't look as pristine as he used to, his eyes compulsively darting to the side every few seconds. There's a bump in the jacket right over his heart and she realises with ice cold clarity that he's probably cloaking is heartbeat.
He unfolds his paper, taking a moment to smooth it flat on the desk. "Now," he says, "I have a few things to ask of you, all reasonable considering what hangs in the balance. First, I'll need blood samples from all your alien staff." He lifts a finger when she tries to interrupt. "If you don't provide them for me, I'll release a deadly pathogen in your R&D."
"Anything else ?" Lena asks through gritted teeth.
"Yes," Lex says, "I need an appointment with Beth Breen, Mr. Spheer's assistant. She's got something that belongs to me and I want it back."
"What are you going to do to her ?"
"Nothing," Lex says, vaguely offended. "I'm going to ask nicely for what is mine. Of course if she doesn't want to give it back, we're going to have a problem. I think Mr. Spheer will be an ideal test subject. I know you don't pay attention to this sort of things, but he's got ideal muscle mass."
"Didn't know you had a thing for men," Lena scoffs, "how progressive of you."
"Don't be crass Lena. We don't all share your inclinations. While we're on that topic," he says, leaning over the desk, "I want you to break up with the Kryptonian. If you don't... Well I've just had breakfast, I don't want to make myself sick."
"You wouldn't," Lena breathes out rather stupidly considering they both know Lex absolutely would.
"I would," he says, fiddling with something on his wrist, a watch from what Lena can see. "And you will do as you're told."
A portal opens in front of him, neat, square, precise. He dusts his jacket, straightens his lapel and pick up his list. "I'll see you soon Lena."
Before she can reply, Lex steps into the portal and vanishes from her office, leaving her behind to curse into the silence.
Lena remains seated long after Lex has left, the very thought of moving unfathomable in her current state. In a great fit of strength, she's managed to calm her heartbeat, her blood no longer roaring in her ears like a deafening wave. It's a small victory, but a crucial one ; she absolutely, under no circumstances, can have Kara barging in right now. She's going to have to be quick, find a way to double cross Lex before this gets too far.
If only she'd been more Luthor-like, she'd have had ten contingency plans, a nuclear arsenal in her underpants and would have shot him there and then. At least that's what she's thinking now, in the aftermath, but a growing part of her knows that it's not true. She had dozens of ways to take him out, could have smashed his head on the desk, stabbed him with her letter opener, shoved him over the balcony railing, and didn't. Instead, she stayed rooted to the spot and obeyed like the good little fucking terrified girl that she is. Everything that happens from now on is her fault.
She's starting to regain some sense of herself, and her brain is kicking into gear, devising a plan to first protect her alien employees. She can't really fire them all, but she could have most of them moved to remote and secure locations under the guise of false assignments. It would raise suspicions, there would be backlash, but with a bit of luck, the trust she's managed to build over the years would be enough for them not to ask too many questions. The press and public opinion would be harder to handle but losing everything she's worked for is not that steep of a price in the face of what Lex could do.
There's also the matter of who she can trust, and who she can drag into this with her, who she can risk to lose. The answer to this one is terrifyingly simple : no one.
She's rising from her chair, readying to round her desk and retrieve her rightful place when the door opens behind her and she jumps up, whirling around to come face to face with Eve Teschmacher. Oh, well, here's something she can fix.
Grabbing the first heavy object she can get her hand on, an expensive paperweight that Mercy of all people gifted her, she prepares herself to launch it at her soon to be incapacitated assistant when Eve casually slips a gun from under her blouse and aims it at her with unsettling confidence.
"You betraying backstabbing bi-"
"I wouldn't do that if I were you Miss Luthor," she says, stepping further inside, "Lex gave me a licence to kill."
"I don't think Lex would be very happy if you killed me," Lena replies coolly, her voice remarkably steady given the situation.
"Oh no," Eve says sweetly, "not you of course. But everyone else. Jessica Huang has always rubbed me the wrong way, and it would be a shame if she were to slip in the stairs, wouldn't it ?"
She gestures with the gun, and Lena takes the hint and rounds the desk to sit on her chair, keeping Eve in her sightline. She's not convinced her assistant wouldn't shoot her anyway.
"I've prepared a statement for you," Eve continues, using her free hand to hand her the file she's kept tucked under her arm. "All you have to do is sign."
Lena glances down at the file, wary of opening it.
"I don't have all day Miss Luthor."
Acutely remembering the day Lex sent her spiders via mail, Lena opens the file, finding in it a single slip of paper.
Following last year's Black Mercy incident, all employees are too submit themselves to a mandatory drug test.
Blood samples will be taken on site and employees are asked to provide a copy of their medical records to Miss E. Teschmacher.
Refusal to comply will lead to immediate termination of all contracts following article 53a of L-Corp's chart of employment.
"There is no article 53a," Lena says, hand gripped tight around her pen.
"There is now," Eve says brightly, taking the paper back with a satisfied smile, "I updated it myself this morning."
"You won't get away with this."
"Oh but we will. We won the moment the president moved my dear Lex to a prison he owns."
S. Melmoth Security Facility. Of course. Lena would kick herself for not noticing it sooner.
"There's always been something fishy about the president anyway. She's too tall."
On these wise words, Eve turns around and leaves, the door closing soundlessly behind her.
"Are you out of your fucking mind !?"
Lena raises her head from the paperwork she's been signing all morning ; the notice regarding the mandatory drug test went up five minutes ago, Sam really is good at her job.
"Please, take a seat."
"I'm not going to sit down ! 'Mandatory drug test' ? 'Immediate termination' ?! Lena, what is going on ?!"
Lena glances at the door, fully expecting Miss Teschmacher to burst in guns blazing. "Please," she repeats, "take a seat."
Sam's chest heaves up and down in fury but she takes one good look at Lena, and sits down. "Lena, what's going on ?" she asks again, calmer this time though her voice still has an angry edge to it.
Lena sighs. "Don't worry, I'll switch out your blood samples. I won't force you out of the alien closet." It'll be useless because Lex already knows, but Sam doesn't have to know that yet.
"I'm already out of the alien closet," Sam says, "my application went through this morning."
Before she can blink, Sam shoves her phone in her face. It's an email from the Department of Alien Affairs regarding Sam's immigration status. Far, very far in her mind, there's a prickle of a memory regarding this discussion they had after Kara applied to regulate her own situation.
Name : Sam Vex
Chosen name on Earth (optional) : Samantha Arias
Planet of origin : Krypton
Status : unviable
On and on, the document lists Sam's reasons for coming to Earth, the rights she gains as an American citizen and the rights she retains as an off-worlder. There's a second page for Ruby, asserting her double nationality and opening her rights to a double education and knowledge of her origins. What would have otherwise been a welcome news leading to celebration now places high on Lena's ever growing list of poorly-timed revelations.
"That's good news," Lena says weakly, not meaning a word of it.
"Why do we need to conduct a company wide drug test ?" Sam asks, waving aside Lena's unenthusiastic congratulations. "And why did you change our policy on contract termination ?"
Lena steels herself, leaning back on her chair. "I have received concerning reports."
"Of which I was not made aware of ?" Sam asks nonchalantly, also leaning back on her chair, her blazer stretching on her taut shoulders.
"There was no time," Lena replies, voice strained, eyes unfocused. "As for the change of policy, it's a necessary precaution. With Lex resurfacing, we need to be able to cut ties with unfaithful employees with no delays." She's a little bit proud of her lie.
Sam eyes her with suspicion. "Are you being blackmailed ?"
"No," Lena replies a bit too quickly for it to ring true.
"You know I can literally hear your heart lying, right ?" Sam sighs. "Listen," she continues, "whatever is going on, you know you can trust me."
"I do trust you," Lena says softly. But I won't send you to your death for me.
"Then what's going on ?" Sam pleads. "Lena come on ! You look like you've seen a ghost, what is it ?"
"Alright," Lena concedes, "if you must know, Kara and I are going through a rough patch. Everything that's been going on is taking a toll on us." The lie settles with sickening easiness, it's heavy in her stomach and around her heart, makes it hard to breathe, but it's necessary.
"What ? No !" Sam exclaims in surprise. "You guys are literally soulmates !"
"Love and Luthors have never been a good match."
Sam rounds the desk in a flash, crouches in front of her and searches for her eyes until Lena deigns to look at her. "Do you want me to talk to her ?"
"No," Lena says with suspicious vigour. "No it's okay," she then adds in a softer tone. She needs to maintain her facade at all cost. "I think we both just need a bit of time."
"Okay," Sam says quietly, "okay. Whatever you need I'm here."
She wraps her arms tight around her and for a moment Lena allows herself to be comforted under false pretences. She'll have to do the hard thing soon enough, for now, she deserves a hug.
Lena gets back to the apartment early, early enough that Kara isn't there yet and it's just her in this big cold space. They've done everything right, hung pictures on the wall, put knick knacks and books on the shelves, but there's no artificially creating the feeling of home, especially when Kara isn't there. She makes a pit stop in the bedroom to change out of her suit and into sweats, sadly proud of herself when she manages to ignore Kara's big and welcoming hoodie, abandoned on the bed when they left this morning. She doesn't linger long in the room ; the two cheap Super teddies from the fair look like they're holding hands and it fills her with sorrow.
Instead, she hauls herself inside of her new office and starts unpacking. She's taken everything she could, which is not much considering her noodle arms and complete absence of upper body strength, but it's better than nothing. She's got two boxes of hard drives and filled a backpack and the pockets of her briefcase with dozens more. She wiped clean her employees records, took her personal database offline and then grabbed whatever she could get her hands on, including everything Lex left behind in his downfall. When the day comes when whoever is in charge of this mess weighs her soul, at least they won't be able to say that she didn't try.
Storing everything away here is a bit of a hassle, storing everything in a way Kara won't be made aware of is nigh impossible ; her office is overrun with hard drives. They've taken over most of her work bench along with two offline computers she bought online with express delivery and picked up from a shabby corner store under a false name. On the bright side, if Lena is still allowed to call it that, she won't have to make excuses for long, because Kara will be gone.
She's still unsure of how exactly she's going to do that ; if she's going to be honest and ask her to stage a fake break-up, or if it's better to keep her in the dark and pray that she will still be here when Lex is gone. She fears that it might be the latter, fears that Kara will fight back and refuse to let her go unless she hurts her so badly there's no other option.
She puts the thought on the back-burner for now, focusing instead on Lex's old files. He's always had a mild obsession with diseases and pathogens. Right before he truly and well lost it, he was convinced increased alien immigration would bring about the end of humanity via pandemic and poured a lot Luthor Corp's resources into xenophobic medical research. Thinking about it still makes Lena sick but fortunately, it means she has something to work with, traces of Lex's work, fragments of his mania with which she might be able to create an emergency vaccine for her employees ; because there's not fucking way she's going to give him their blood.
She works tirelessly, hunched over her laptop and with her glasses slipping down her nose until Kara comes in a little before 7pm and a light tapping on the floor preludes Krypto's enthusiastic arrival in her office. He nudges the door open with his snout and pads to her side, sitting patiently while she saves her work. She's busy scratching him between the ears when Kara makes her way in, tie half undone and shirt untucked from her fitted trousers. At the state of the office, she stops abruptly on the threshold.
"Wow. You brought homework."
Lena hums, scratching her hair at the base of her bun. "I need to secure my servers against Lex."
This technically isn't a lie, but Lena's heart still upticks nervously. Thankfully, Kara doesn't seem to notice. She comes behind her to hug her tightly, wrapping her arms around her middle and inhaling deeply, nose pressed to her shoulder. If she notices Lena is wearing her own loungewear for once, she doesn't say anything.
Kara kisses the side of her neck. "That's a lot of work," she remarks.
"Someone has to do it."
"Do you want some help ? It'd be quicker with two sets of hands and brains."
"No," Lena replies a bit too quickly. "It's okay," she says with a tight lips smile, "I can do it on my own, you have your own work."
"That I do," Kara mumbles sombrely. "I intercepted a report from William's source at L-Corp. Something about a strongly worded mandatory drug test ?"
Lena tenses involuntarily, jaw clenched tight with a spike of fear. Instead of questioning her however, Kara moves to massage her shoulders, kneading expertly the anxious muscles there.
"You know how my board is," Lena deflects, very thankful for the fact that Kara can't see her face right now. There's no way she'd manage to lie if she could see the anguish currently residing in her eyes.
"Do you want me to punch someone ? Andrea maybe ?"
Lena forces a weak laugh. "That won't be necessary."
"Okay." Kara undoes her bun, carding her fingers in the hair that spills over Lena's shoulder. "I'll run you a warm bath then. You work too hard."
Lena's heart squeezes painfully. "A bath sounds good," she whispers. "Thank you."
Kara kisses her shoulder gently, nuzzles her neck for a second and on any other day, at any other time, Lena would turn around and kiss her properly, but tonight she can't. If she sees so much as a glimpse of the love in her eyes she thinks she might die.
The bath is magical. In the couple of minutes it's taken for Lena to gather her bearings and strip off her clothes, Kara has managed to create a masterpiece of warm water and snowy translucent bubbles with candles and music ; funnily enough not jazz or any other relaxing music but an old rock band Lena hasn't listened to in ages.
The bath is magical, and it's an insurmountable issue. Kara helps her in then removes the bathrobe she's slipped on and climbs in behind her, bracketing her in her powerful lean legs, her knees poking out of the bubbles. There's no need for them to be this close, the bathtub being twice as big as their old one, but with the way she's holding her, it's clear Kara has no intention of letting go.
"People are scared," Kara says at some point, her voice barely louder than the low music. She's massaging Lena's scalp with shampoo, working the product in a thick cleansing layer in a way that Lena knows is going to leave her hair perfectly clean and tangle free. "I don't think anyone knows he's out there yet but," she marks a short pause, her fingers briefly flexing, "it's only a matter of time before someone realises something is going on."
"Blowing up our building was a pretty clear message to the entire world," Lena remarks bitterly.
"I went back," Kara confesses in a whisper, "I was looking for something. My box. The one that had the bracelets in it." She caresses the cuff on Lena's wrist. "I didn't find it."
"I'm sorry."
Kara shrugs, the motion lifting Lena's body in time with hers. "It's okay."
"No," Lena whispers. "No, it's really not."
"They secured the street," Kara continues with some difficulty, voice strangled and full of sorrow. "I guess with me missing they couldn't exactly do better. Everyone had to move out. Some are still in temporary shelters..."
"I'll figure something out. Financial compensation, correct housing. We're not leaving these people behind, they deserve better."
"I know you're going to try your best but..."
Kara lets her words drift away and Lena jumps on the occasion forcing herself to inflict damage. "But what ?" she asks, as harshly as she can.
"But you can't fix everything," Kara says gently.
"Neither can you."
"I know." Kara sounds sad, beaten, and Lena deflates like an old balloon, all intentions to start a fight leaving her in an instant. "Just don't let it break you."
"I won't," Lena murmurs and she thinks they both know it's a lie ; the cracks are already there.
She tries to say other words, to put into a cohesive sentence the fact that they need to take a step back from each other, at least appear a little distant so Lex won't lose his mind. She formulates different ones, but they're all harsh and abrupt and hurtful and every time she opens her mouth, she closes it just as soon.
We need to break up so Lex doesn't break us.
I need to leave you or we're doomed.
Would you mind very publicly cheating on me so my terrible brother doesn't kill you ?
She tries and tries and tries, but can't. She feels bile rising in her throat, tears prickling in her eyes and thinks that maybe, just maybe, she can give them another night, another day, maybe even another week, to fill herself up with Kara to last her until she can see her again, until they're safe. Maybe if she promises, if she grovels to Lex and swears she's going to do it, he'll spare Kara.
Kara kisses her shoulder, arms tightening around her waist. "Did you want to talk about something ?"
Yes. "No, why ?"
"You keep opening and closing your mouth like a fish out of water. And you've got your thinking face on." Hand briefly leaving her body, she guides her head up and Lena meets her own gaze in the mirror facing the tub. "What's going on ? What can I do ?"
Lena releases a strangled laugh. "Apart from the obvious ?"
Kara sighs, kisses the side of her neck. "Alright. That was a stupid question."
She speaks close to her skin, lips hovering over her pulse point, and seized by a sudden painful urgency, Lena leans back against her, pressing her body against Kara's, moulding herself to her until they are just one. Grabbing her robotic hand, she guides it down the length of her body until it slips between her legs, obscured by what is left of the bubbles. Kara takes control with intense efficiency, not missing a beat once she understands Lena's intentions. Hands free, Lena slides one of them back up to palm at her own breasts and with the other, presses Kara's head hard in the crook of her neck.
Even as she struggles to keep her eyes open she wills herself to look at their reflection in the mirror, imprinting on her mind the sight of them tangled in the soapy water, her cheeks flushed, Kara's hair wet and sticking to her forehead. She engraves it on her heart, never to be forgotten ; she'll break up with Kara tomorrow.
Sometime later, as Kara makes dinner, softly singing to some pop song or another on the radio, Lena sits at the counter in silence, nodding here and there at Kara's questions, all food related. She tries to memorise this moment too, to remember it later in case there is nothing left of them but ashes and a gap in her chest where her heart is now. Kara's sweatpants hang low on her hips, her socks are mismatched and her t-shirt is a size too small. She's combed her wet hair with her hand and the longer strands lay in disarray at the top of her head. She smiles when she catches Lena staring at her, a little sadly, like she too knows this moment is all there's left. She mumbles something in Kryptonese, then, "I love you," and Lena answers in kind, "I love you too," with her own matching sad smile.
Caught in the moment, she almost jumps out of her skin when her phone's screen lights up with an incoming text. It's from an unknown number, but guessing who it's from is not exactly hard.
Tik tok Lena.
She better at least cry or I'll be very disappointed.
Heart leaping to her throat, she places her phone face down, hesitantly meeting Kara's questioning eyes. "It's nothing," she says, "just Andrea."
Her lie is not particularly elaborated, but as blood rushes to her ears and the world gets fuzzy on the edges, panic brimming inside of her, she gets a terrible idea, and picks up her phone again. Typing these five little words is hard, she can already see the despair on Kara's face, can almost hear the sound that'll escape her when her heart breaks. Her fingers tremble over the screen and as she seals their fate, letter by letter, she can only hope there'll be enough left behind to piece them back together.
Andy, I need a favour.