![]() Author has written 1 story for Naruto. Name: Well my pen name is Aroneden. Age: greater than 20 and that's all you're getting. Sex: Male Relationship Status: Single Languages: English and French...I'm rusty with the latter. BETA READER for fanboy913 and Kogane 1089. GO READ THE EPICNESS! Rants: well I could do a few, but I like to do them when I'm in the mood, or off the cuff because the planned stuff is just...meh. Unless you got it. Then go for it. Here's one: people need to learn how to merge on the freeway! Seriously! 90% of all traffic on freeways is probably because someone merged poorly slowing people down and in a chain reaction that takes hours to disappear forms a traffic jam. Here's a hint: match velocity THEN merge. Don't forget the blinker. Also, THERE ARE MORE WAYS TO SLOW DOWN THAN STOMPING ON YOUR BRAKES! LEARN THEM! Here's another: 'They don't make them like they used to' only seems to become true in more situations the longer I live. One More For Those Who Care: People today just don't know how to insult people without saying grammatically incorrect things. Anybody who actually UNDERSTANDS the English language knows what I'm talking about. If you want to insult someone go look up some Shakespearean Insults, no one these days knows how to respond to those other than being immature and nonsensical which means you won the argument. Plus they are so much fun to rhyme! Favorite Mangas: Naruto, Bleach, One Piece, Hajime no Ippo, Fairy Tail, World Trigger, The Gamer, Combat Continent, UQ Holder!, Noblesse, Dark Air, Black Clover, Zui Wu Dao, Witch Hunter, Tsuyokute New Saga, Spirit Migration, Dungeon ni Deai wo Motomeru no wa Machigatte Iru Darou ka, Until Death Do Us Part, Btoom!, The Legendary Moonlight Sculptor, Tales of Demons and Gods, D. Grey Man, Ao no Exorcist, The New Gate, Joujuu Senjin!! Mushibugyo, To Aru Ossan no VRMMO Katsudouki, Panlong, Beet the Vandel Buster, Trigun, Flame of Recca, Fullmetal Alchemist, Elemental Gelade, and many others. Anime...whats that? OOOOH yeah TTGL, R.O.D., Princess Mononoke, Spirited Away, Howl's Moving Castle, Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind, Ghost in the Shell, stuff like that? Yeah good old school stuff. Can't beat 'em. Honorary Member of The Book of Log. If you worship the holyness that is the log, copy and paste this section onto your profile... although you may want to change the comments Position: Log Worshipper (Since 08/10/2015) Possible Book of Log Positons: Log Worshipper: Beginning position. No requirements Log Priest: You have created at least 1 Naruto related fanfic that frequently (every 2-4 chapers) praises the almighty log and actually fits into the story Log Pope (there can be more than 1 pope... its safer that way): you have created 3 naruto related fanfics that frequently praise the almighty log OR the Fanfic that already occasionally praises the log has at least 400 reviews OR you create a (decently made) Naruto fanfic focused on praising the log... log forbid. Excerpt of the log number 124: when using the log to escape a fire jutsu, it is konoha custom to write an apology letter to the log, and depending on rank of jutsu escaped from depicts how many words are needed. c-rank, two thousand, B-rank, one thousand five hundred, a-rank, one thousand. only S-rank and higher or excused from the writing of the letter. even then, it is still reccommended. Log excerpt number 231: if konoha shinobi celebrate the holiday of Christmas, then it is required that they put gifts under the Christmas log. Use of a full tree is an insult to the log and if found out that shinobi is uneligible from using the log for a period of two months. Log excerpt number 437: Use of the log in a situation that clearly could be avoided using a variety of other methods or techniques is looked down upon. In order to repent for such actions, the following steps should be taken: For every dent caused by your replacement you shall plant one sapling. For every stab wound caused by your replacement you shall plant five For every hole in the log caused by your replacement you shall plant ten For every detached piece of the log caused by your replacement you shall For a destroyed and unusable log caused by your replacement you shall plant If your log is defective you may call 1-800-BAD-LOGS to file a complaint. If 'and the willow sayeth unto the ninja: wherefore dost i weep? 'tis tears of joy, as thy kin and mine together fell thine foes, who would bring the axe and torch to the wood. the log ist thine ally, and mine kin. calling upon the log, is to call upon me. to aid thee in battle, i weep my tear of joy. 'as the log takes your place, you become the log. the log becomes you. for a moment, you are an extension of the logs blessing unto ninja.' 'you are fools! your log is but a mockery of the power of ninja!- the ninja from the desert declared. and the people shook their heads. 'and as the smoke cleared, his foe stared in awe at the log. blackened and charred, the log crumbled. the ninja, filled with righteous wrath, fell upon his foe and slew him. he made his way to the log, and wept. his companion, the log that had accompanied him through so many battles, was no more. he spoke thus to his fallen companion: though now you have fallen in battle, you rest where the logs forever grow. the forest of life called for you, and you answered its call, as you did mine. i thank you my friend.' 'he despaired, for in this place of stone and earth, there was no logs to be found. reaching out with all his might, he begged for a log in the forsaken wasteland. and he was answered, and saved by the log, in a place where there were none. 'the log took his place and fell, forever into the abyss. the people, hearing of this, railed against him, in such numbers he swore to never endanger another log again. for many years, he fought without the log, growing more and more weary with each passing day. finally, he came across a foe that was too strong for him. as his life was about to end, he felt a familiar pull, and found himself out of harms way, seeing a log in his place. his stunned foe was felled in his stupor, and he approached the log, he knew it, for it was the same that fell so long ago. he asked of the log: why did you endanger yourself for me again? have you not done enough for me? and the log spoke: it is my duty, and our bond. we exist to save the ninja, and they exist to save the trees. we both play a part, for which i am content.' Let it be known that it is absolutely forbidden to willingly perform the technique known as "1000 years of death" on a log. It is also equally frowned upon for one to replace oneself with a holy log for the purpose of avoiding said technique. The punishment for such actions is at least 6 months of banishment from the use of the holy log. Quotes Disclaimer: I don't own any of these that are from someone else, or from a movie or TV Show, or whatever. "Trust your beliefs, and your blade. They will get you through life"Leaf Ranger "Believe, and you shall receive!" Indy Green "I won't run away anymore... I won't go back on my word... because that is my nindo, my ninja way!" Naruto Uzumaki Namikaze (Maelstrom Whirlpool Hurricane) "There is always hope." Aragorn "It doesn't matter. I believe anyone can be what they want to be, or do what they want to do, so long as they believe in themselves. I'll always believe in you, so believe in yourself."Arashen Uzuma "Love is powerful. True love, that's just life itself." Leaf Ranger "What's the point in living, if you can't feel alive?" Elektra King "When life gives you lemons, reach across the counter, shove them in life's mouth, and say 'I ordered apples. Where are they?'" Leaf Ranger "If I knew what was going on, would I be asking?" Leaf Ranger "If you were me, then I'd be you, and we wouldn't be having this conversation, would we?" Leaf Ranger "If it was easy, what would be the point?" Leaf Ranger "Oh shift." Leaf Ranger, usually when something bad is happening. "I'm on a quest for snackage." Leaf Ranger, when he's hungry "When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, and just say, 'I'm that good'." Leaf Ranger "When life gives you lemonade, pour life a glass, and when life drinks it, tell them you put arsenic in it. Watch the spit take." RagingStarr. "Oh bugger." Captain Jack Sparrow "Wicked." Ron Weasley "When life gives you lemons, realize anyone can make lemonade. So instead, make lemon meringue pie." someone's mom. "Plans never survive first contact with the enemy." Erdrick17 "When life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. Then find someone whose life is giving them vodka, and have a party." -Ron White "This is your life... and it's ending, one minute at a time." Narrator, Fight Club "Having the love of your life break up with you and say, "We can still be friends," is like having your dog die, and your mom saying that we could still keep it." from the profile of sandgirl395 "Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back... are we talking about zombies here?" from the profile of sandgirl395 "Sniper, schmiper. This will take care of him." Me, before blowing someone up with a rocket launcher. "Run for your lives, but let me go first!" Gerentex, Andromeda episode 117 "You just missed Tyr's cavalry act." Andromeda "They were playing Wagner. The most fun I've had in about six months." Beka Valentine and Tyr Anasazi, Andromeda episode 112 "You're wrong. I am TYR! Anasazi! Out of Victoria by Barbarrosa! AND I... WILL NEVER ... SURRENDER!" Tyr Anasazi, Andromeda episode 113 "only in their dreams can men be truly free It was always thus and always thus will be." Robin Williams "No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world." Robin Williams "What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong." Robin Williams "to stand alone is suicide, but to stand with friends is to live." kurobushou "life's a lesson, you'll learn it when your through." line from 'take a look around' by limp bizkit "A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice." bill cosby "Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before." mae west "Every man dies. Not every man really lives." William Wallace "Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect." Steven Wright "Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company." Mark Twain "Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet."-Mark Twain "Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life." - Terry Pratchett "You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest." - Rowan Atkinson "If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?" - Steven Wright "I can resist everything except temptation." - Oscar Wilde "If at first you don't succeed... So much for skydiving." - Henry Youngman "To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness." - Oscar Wilde "I have nothing to declare except my genius." - Oscar Wilde "The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you." - Rita Mae Brown "I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally." - WC Fields "Freedom is the right of all sentient beings." -Optimus Prime "Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, and no one can stop me."-Me, as I track down a target in any Assassin's Creed game "The earlybird may get the worm, but it's the second mouse who gets the cheese."- The Laughing Brain "No Jayne. This is something the captain has to do for himself." "And what makes you think the people will follow you?" "Time to Nut Up or Shut Up." Tallahassee- ZombieLand "Nulla è reale, tutto è lecito. Requiescat en pace." - Ezio Auditore da Firenze "Never experiment on species with members capable of calculus; simple rule, never broke it." - Mordin Solus "Would you kindly?" - Bioshock "A Man chooses! A Slave obeys!" - Andrew Ryan "Thought I'd try shooting my way out; mix things up a little." - Master Chief Petty Officer of the Navy, Spartan John-117 "Amonkira. Lord of Hunters. Grant that my hands be steady, my aim be true, and my feet swift. And should the worst come to pass, grant me forgiveness." *disappears into thin air* - Thane Krios "I'll kill you with my teacup." - Riddick "Comfort the Disturbed and Disturb the Comfortable" -Unknown "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; I'm not sure about the universe." --Albert Einstein "Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door,"- Unknown "I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death. What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch and you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities. You become a little baby, you go back into the womb, spend your last nine months floating... and you finish off as an orgasm." - George Carlin "You can't touch music, but music can touch you." Mordecai - Regular Show We're a Dying Breed To every guy that's said, "Sex CAN wait.” To every guy that's said, "You're beautiful. To every guy that was never too busy to drive across town to see her. To every guy that gives flowers and a card when she is sick. To every guy who has given her flowers just because. To every guy that said he would die for her. To every guy that really would. To every guy that took time to do what she wanted to do. To every guy that she cried in front of. To every guy that holds hands with her. To every guy that kisses her with meaning. To every guy that hugs her when she's sad. To every guy that hugs her for no reason at all. To every guy who would give their jacket up for her. To every guy that calls to make sure she got home safe. To every guy that would sit and wait for her for hours just to see her for ten minutes. To every guy that would give his seat up. To every guy that just wants to cuddle. To every guy that reassured her that she was beautiful no matter what. To every guy who told his secrets to her. To every guy that tried to show how much he cared through every word and every breath. To every guy that thought maybe this could be the one. To every guy that believed in her dreams. To every guy that would have done anything so she could achieve them. To every guy that never laughed at her when she told him her dreams. To every guy that walked her to her car. To every guy that gave his heart. To every guy who prays that she is happy even if you are not with her. ...This one bulletin is for you... Not many girls appreciate nice guys anymore... And because of this, there are not many left out there... i guarantee 90 of the men on your page will not repost this cuz they care more about their image If you are a nice guy repost this with "We're a Dying Breed " If you are a girl that thinks every guy should treat a girl this way repost this with: "To Every Guy..." Girl: Slow down! Guy: No this is fun! Girl: No it's not! Please, it's way to scary! Guy: Then tell me you love me. Girl: I love you. Now slow down. Guy: Now give me a big hug. She gave him a big hug. Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself? It's bothering me. In the newspaper, the next day, a motorcycle crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was, that half way down the road the guy realized his breaks were out and he didn't want the girl to know. Instead, he had her hug him and tell him she loved him one last time. Then he had her put his helmet on so she would live even if it meant he would die. If you would do the same for the person you love, copy and paste this into your profile. JESUS Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master... He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher... He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer... He had no army, yet kings feared him... He won no military battles, yet he conquered the World... He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him... He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today Feel honored to serve such a leader who loves us... If you believe and God and Jesus Christ is His son... Then copy and paste this into your profile If you ignore him, in the Bible, Jesus says.. "If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my father in Heaven..." OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE: Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered for having cultivated such valuable lessons as: knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student, but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust, his wife Discretion, his daughter Responsibility, and his son Reason. He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing. If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all: I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool! If you could read that put it in your profile! I could! Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God." THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A." This isn't me: I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll." Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him and asked "Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. "It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her." I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there." His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall." Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister." Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?'' "OK" he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said "Thank you God for giving me enough money!" Then he looked at me and added "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me! I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose. My mommy loves white roses." A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started; I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. Now you have 2 choices: 1) Repost this message, or 2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart. When I read this I felt my heart breaking :'( so I knew I had to share it Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to "Woman Hitler"? Do I have to spell it out for you or scream it in your face?! Of course I'm talking to myself: who else can I trust? Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that. You cry. I cry. You laugh. I laugh. You jump off a cliff. I laugh even harder. I'm not afraid of Death. What's he gonna do, kill me? I don't cheat death, I win fair and square. Every night before going to bed, the boogie man checks under his bed for me. Parents spend the first parts of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. Education is important, school however, is another matter. Don’t be afraid to try something new after all amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic... All trespassers will be shot on sight. All survivors will then be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Have a nice day! I wanted to kill the coolest person alive then I realized...Oh ya suicides a bad thing. Don't play dumb with me... I'm better at it. The surest sign of intelligent life out there is that none of them has never tried contacting us. If at first you don't succeed try, try again. If it still doesn't work redefine success. I hurt myself speed reading. I hit a bookmark. If at first you don't succeed, cheat, repeat until caught, and then lie. I love deadlines. I love the wooshing sound they make as they pass by. Silence is golden, duct tape is silver but if you pair that with shouting you get diamond Things not to say on an airplane number 47 "Hi, Jack." Cry me a river, build a bridge and GET OVER IT. Stupid is as stupid does. There are three types of people: Those who can't count and those who can. One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject. Life isn't passing by. It's running me over. Never argue with idiots. They just drag you down to their level and then beat you with their experience. Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege. The computer beat me once at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. If its tourist season, why can't we shoot them? Why is it that when a person tells you there are a million stars in the universe you believe them, but if someone tells you there's wet paint somewhere you have to touch it to make sure. He who laughs last thinks the slowest. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool? You never realy learn to swear until you learn to drive. Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do. I try to take life one day at a time, but, lately, several days have attacked me at once! Slow and steady gets you trampled by other people. When opportunity knocks, shoot first, ask questions later. Most people learn by observation, and there are a few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving door. There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead. Suicide hotline...please hold... Don't drink and drive- you might spill the beer. What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? The golfer goes (Whack) "Dang!" The skydiver goes, "Dang!" (Whack) When women are depressed, they either eat or go shopping. When men are depressed, they invade another country. I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later. Haha. I don't get it. I'll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter. Definition of homework-crude form of mind control still practiced in some priminal areas of the world Did you know...Sarcasm is your body's natural defense against stupidity. Have you seen my sanity? I seem to have lost it. The pen may be mightier than the sword, but my keyboard can crush your crummy pen! Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems? 364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that? An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. How are the force and duct-tape the same?- Both have a light and dark side and hold the universe together. Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question. Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. Education is important, school however, is another matter. What happens when you get scared half to death twice? Amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic... Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse? When French people swear do they say 'pardon my English?' How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play? I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes. If two wrongs don't make a right, try three. I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for. The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable. Love your enemies! It really pisses them off. To put it nicely, I hope you choke. Smile. It confuses people. You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear. A day without sunshine is like...night. Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot. I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect! Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss. Then don't think about Gravity or he'll notice you again. Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED. Apparently you told Santa that you have been good this year...he died laughing. Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary. Of all the things I've lost... I miss my mind the most. Don't follow me, I'm lost too. At least I don't CARE what those mindless people think of me. It's always in the last place you look...of course it is! WHY would I keep looking AFTER I found it? If a fork is made of gold, will it still be called silverware? Six Basic Truths in Life: 16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens. 5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!" 15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! 16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose you!" Repost this if you laughed... Or are planning to do any of these things! What I'm working on now: Well I adopted Master of the basics from shadowsrisen and am in the process of reposting it in my preferred format under the title Mastering the Basics so when I add chapters to his work it will only be noticeable if you can tell our writing styles apart. I have a Naruto fic in the works that will incorporate numerous different ideas I have gained from reading many different Naruto fics and crossovers. Not sure of a title yet but if will be about Naruto and his twin brother growing up while Naruto's brother supports and protects him from the shadows as Naruto aims to be Hokage, like a truly sneaky shinobi should. PM me with suggestions/comments about what you think of this small intro. Anything but flames will help. Speaking of flames they only fuel my hunger for grilled stuffed burritos so they don't do much more than warm the cockles of my heart and stomach. MMMMM Grilled Stuffed Burritos! | |||||||
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