Rust
Chapter 5 - Control
There was no way to tell time in the almost perfect darkness of the room, the sky outside a matching inky black barren of any stars. The atmosphere was tense, as though the air itself was uneasy, full of electricity just waiting for the spark that would ignite the storm brewing.
It was the faintest of mutterings, no more than a twitch, but Xally awoke instantly aware that her sleeping companion was caught in the throes of yet another nightmare. Gajeel had been having them more frequently, more intensely, since the night of their first tryst almost a week ago. Since then, he'd done nothing more than cuddle her close in his sleep, even going so far as to kiss her cheek once, and each night was torture for them both.
"Gajeel? Hey, come on, you're having a nightmare." She knew better than to touch him - there's wasn't a single member of the Pradesh family who didn't suffer the terrors born from memories recalled during slumber, so Xally knew from experience what was and was not the safe thing to do. Except, she had no experience in how to react when over six foot of dragon slayer, caught in the grips of his memories and walking the plane between awake and unconsciousness, wrapped his hands around her throat and wrestled her to the floor. His eyes were open, but they were seeing something or someone long since passed, and the scales that had risen on his body sliced through her skin like razors.
"Haearn, come back to me."
Her voice was choked, strangled by the lack of air, but somehow it got through the fog of reminiscence. The smell of her blood and the feel of it slippery between them slammed him back into awareness and Gajeel physically recoiled from the feel of her under his hands, as outside the sky split from the tension it could no longer contain.
"Xal? Oh God's, Xal, 'm sorry. 'm so sorry." Gajeel wanted to cry, as the realisation of what he'd done crashed into him like the thunder that boomed in his ears, and he rushed to turn on the lamp so as to properly inspect the state of things.
"Hey, it's alright. I'm okay" Xally was pretty sure she would heal just fine, even if she was going to bear bruises for a few days. "Ow! That stings!"
The cuts on her forearms and the inside of her thighs were fine, paper thin and deep enough so there was an slightly alarming amount of red smeared over her pale skin, and Gajeel was poking them was a decidedly unpleasant sensation.
"Ye ain't fine, Xal. Yer bleedin' - again. An' 's my fault - again! I jus' keep hurtin' ya!"
"Hey! I knew what you were long before all of this! You think this is the first time a man's tried to kill me? Made me bleed? You didn't do this, Gajeel. Not to me." Xally stood, hobbling her way to her bag and the first aid kit she had stored there, wincing as every movement brought a new wave of sharp pain and the uncomfortable sensation of blood oozing from wounds.
"How ken ye say tha'? I coulda killed ya, Xal! Yer bleedin' all over th' floor b'cause o' me! Would'n ya jus' - jus' sit down already, lemme do tha'."
Begrudgingly Xally took his arm, letting him guide her to the love seat in the corner where he fussed about dressing and wrapping her injuries with the kind of tender care that left her sighing, frowning as his hands withdrew from her skin.
"Don' pout annwyl. Jus' sit fer a minute an' lemme clean up."
Xally's eyes strained under the dim lighting, watching him as he worked. Gajeel's movements were methodical, practiced, but his hands betrayed his state of mind - shaking so badly that even in the gloom, Xally could see the tremors that ran through his body.
"Gajeel? Are you alright?"
"Am I? Mavis, yer the one bandaged up! Oughta be askin' ye tha' question."
"I'm not the one shaking! For God's sake, put me down! I can walk!" She wanted to punch him right in that smug smile, but with the way he was trembling, Xally figured she might end up dropped on the floor if his hold on her slipped even a fraction of an inch.
With more finesse than either of them expected, Gajeel eased her into the fresh sheets, helping her settle against the pillows before turning to leave.
"Where do you think you're going?"
"Anywhere that i'nt here. Can't be hurtin' ye again, dywysoges".
"You leaving is hurting me, haearn. Why can't you see that?"
"I can't..."
"You can, and you will. Gajeel Redfox, you will get your ass back in this bed or so help me, I will make you".
Thoroughly scolded, he hung his head and did as he was told, easing under the covers carefully so as not to jostle the bandaged form beside him, sighing happily as her hand immediately found his and wound their fingers together, bringing him close to where his head was resting on her chest. The storm outside had abated, no longer a swirling wild thing, now there was just the peaceful sound of rain against glass interrupting the silence of the room, as steady as the heartbeat under his ear.
"What do you normally do after a nightmare?"
"Hmm? Uh, git outta bed. Used ta spar with Lil' but he's got his own life goin' on".
"Tell me about your dream?" Xally's voice was gentle, a question that could so easily be denied, but as she squirmed behind him, soft hands coming to rest on his shoulder and his hair, Gajeel decided that he actually did want to talk - to let her in.
"José. Spent a lotta years in Phantom Lord, a dark guild. Sometimes it comes back ta haunt me, all th' lousy shit I done. An' th' worst parts I used ta enjoy it, tha' I liked bein' th' best at bein' mean. Makes me sick ta think 'bout wha' I used ta be like."
"But you're not like that now".
It was a statement, reinforced by the reassurance of fingers combing his hair, of nails tracing the scars they could find, and Gajeel found he could breathe just a little easier, the world suddenly a little brighter with her there to light his darkness.
"I remember this little girl, so tiny - canny be more'n two or three. José'd sent me after her old man, fer no good reason 'tall now I think 'bout it. Ain't realised she was there - wa'n't meant ta be anyone else home - an' she watched me kill her Da. When I told José, he laughed. Can't ever forget 'er, those green eyes cryin' as she begged her Da t' wake up, the way the red stained 'er pyjamas".
It was a shock, to feel him sobbing in her arms, and Xally blinked away tears at the pain she could all but feel rolling off him. Gajeel wasn't the kind of man to cry, but here he was, his face buried in her chest as he held her so tightly she thought she might snap. She understood though, all too familiar with needing a lifeline - something or someone to ground you, hold you steady while your emotions felt like they could rip you apart at the seams. So Xally did the only thing she could for him - held him back just as tightly, rocking slightly as one might when soothing a baby, and sung. Nothing fancy, nothing more than a simple repetition of notes, and possibly a little morbid considering the nights event's, but something about the eerie tune had always calmed her.
With painful slowness, Gajeel's breathing levelled and his tears dried, his grip easing so he could slide away just enough to look into clear blue eyes, long lashes just a little damp with a stray tear or two that glistened as she moved.
"Thank you."
"Anything for you, fy ddraig. The little girl, what happened to her?"
"Wha' makes ye think..." he shook his head at her knowing smirk. "Her Ma moved 'em away. She grew up, went ta school - gonna be a teacher".
"Still send them money?"
"How ken ya figure tha'?"
"When you said you still remember that moment - well, that's the easiest way to help without being involved. We've all done things we're not proud of haearn, but how we move forward? That tells us who we are. Tells me you're a good man, Gajeel. You just got dealt a lousy hand at the start."
Gajeel had nothing to say to that, the smile on Xally's face telling him he didn't need to say anything, that she knew she'd gotten through to him, and he so desperately wanted to taste that smile.
Slowly he raised his face to hers, pausing for torturously long seconds before the anticipation became to much to endure and softly Gajeel pressed his lips to hers. He was so vulnerable, so exposed, and Xally drank him in - took all his doubts, his misery and his darkness, giving him back faith and comfort. Her warmth, her love, washed over him like the sun rising from storm clouds and he couldn't breathe for the emotions that were choked in his throat. He couldn't hear, save for the pounding of his heartbeat in his ears and a humming of contentedness from his dragon.
Xally wasn't quite sure when they'd actually stopped kissing, her lips still brushing against his as she tried desperately to catch her breath, her fingers still knotted in his hair holding them together.
"Rwyf wrth fy modd i chi".
Maybe it was the sensation of her lips moving against his as she spoke, or the feel of her fingers in his hair, or the fact his brain took a moment longer than everything else to register her words, but the sensation that rolled through Gajeel's body was in equal parts agony and euphoria.
"Those're dang'rous words, Xal." He pulled away to look at her properly. She was a vision of flushed cheeks, tousled hair and pouty lips, but her eyes were clear and full of fire, full of determination. Gajeel couldn't help but worry a piercing between his teeth in a sudden bout of nerves - Xally looked like she knew exactly what she wanted, and how to get it, which was as terrifying as it was exhilarating. He was used to being in charge, the predator, and with just a glance she had him turned into her prey. Being hunted was a new, and uncomfortable feeling, and Gajeel was not enjoying it in the slightest, the Dragon seething at the sensation of being challenged, of being someone's quarry.
"Let's go dancing tonight." She knew the smirk on her face must be positively devilish, but Xally was enjoying their game of cat and mouse far too much to do anything other than keep the slayer unbalanced and off kilter. She knew if she let him brood on her confession, he'd end up running from this - from her - and the thought of that was too painful to entertain. So she resigned herself to playing the long game, keeping Gajeel on his toes. And by the sheer confusion on his face, she'd managed to achieve that once again.
"Uh, ya... Ya wanna go dancin'? With yer legs all cut up?"
"Pssh, be fine by the time the sun comes up. Rest is good for healing, so we should probably do that." Xally pressed a line of soft kisses down his nose, which made his face screw up adorably, before snuggling down into his embrace, sighing happily as Gajeel held her close despite his bewilderment.
Sure enough, Xally's wounds were faded to nothing more pale pink lines scratched onto porcelain flesh by the time they dressed to go out, barely visible under the swirling layers of skirts she'd donned, the marks only occasionally peeking out where she'd hitched the hem to expose a leg from thigh to ankle, where her heeled boots laced to. Gajeel swallowed heavily, it was sure to be a long night watching those skirts flare and twirl as she danced in the warmth and the noise of the tavern, the yellow glow of lanterns illuminating the expanses of creamy skin she had on display.
They had both opted for the more customary dress of the area, of their people, so as to draw slightly less attention than usual. For Gajeel it meant not much different than his usual attire, but Xally was a different story. In addition to the brown leather boots and flowing skirts, she'd dressed in a loose blouse with a low neck and short sleeves, and a fitted set of stays laced tightly over the top had taken her already enviable figure into mouthwatering territory, and there was no mistaking the glances being sent her way as she danced and laughed around the room, smile so bright she threatened to eclipse the flames that were lighting the venue.
It took far more liquor than the barkeep usually liked pouring, but slowly Gajeel felt the Dragon lull into silence and his inhibitions fall away to where he could appreciate the energy in the old wooden venue, the noise almost deafening in his sensitive ears - fiddles and flutes, guitar strings being plucked, the rhythmic stamping of feet and the clapping of hands keeping time. Xally had taken to the floor the second they'd walked through the doors and she was still going hours later, her energy seemingly unending, and Gajeel felt himself drawn to her - like a moth to a flame - and he left himself get swept up in the moment, swept away in the arms of a pretty young thing who had no trouble keeping pace with his much longer legs as they whirled around the room at the band played high energy jigs and reels.
Five songs later, and even Gajeel was feeling a little winded as he finally managed to catch Xally's hands in time for a slower waltz, the pure joy on her face enough to steal the remainder of his breath. Her face was flushed, cheeks rosy, curls tumbling around her face where they had fallen from the pins she had artfully placed earlier, and a thin sheen over her skin made her appear to glow under the dim candlelights. He twirled her, pulling her close in against his body as the Dragon delighted in the sensation of their bodies moving as one.
"Don't get too close, I'm all sweaty!"
"Ye smell incredible, dywysoges. Havin' a good time?"
"You have no idea. You're much better at this than I expected" Xally teased as she spun away from him, his hands catching her and pulling her back sharply.
"Ain't th' only kind o' dancin' I'm good at." Gajeel's voice was low, husky, blurring the line where he ended and the Dragon began, and Xally couldn't stop the shiver than ran down her spine at the realisation of what he was implying.
"Looks like I'm not the only one here who wants to find out, fy ddraig. Black hair, two o'clock - been watching you since we walked in. Why don't you ask the lady for a dance?"
"Yer th' only one fer me annwyl, an' ye ain't even wanna know wha' she smells like".
"I'm guessing herbs and death? She feels like bad news" Xally shrugged, pulling him down close to whisper her plan into his ear, smirking as he winked at her and took his leave, stepping away from her hold and out into the clear night air.
Gajeel turned at the sound of the door swinging moments later, knowing full well it wasn't a head of blonde curls following him.
"Haven't seen you around here before?"
Her voice was smooth, like velvet, and everything about her set Gajeel's nerves on edge. She smelt like a witches apothecary, the sour scent of death hanging heavily in the air unhidden by the herbs and potions she was so clearly covered in, and he was beyond glad Xally was out of sight somewhere safe because nothing about this woman was good news.
"Ain't from 'round these parts. Shouldn't a pretty thing like ye be inside get'n yer dance card filled?"
"Oh you know, everyone needs fresh air sometimes. Where did you say you were from?"
"Didn't."
"Silly me. We don't often get strangers at nights like these, and you seem familiar with our customs."
"Spent some time here 'fore. If'n ye'll excuse me, I oughta be findin' me companions." Gajeel moved to brush passed her, but the sharp scratch of nails on his forearms had him pausing mid stride. "Be much obliged if'n ye'd be lettin' go now, thank'n ye".
"Oh, of course! How rude of me. Enjoy your stay in Seven" the smile she graced him with was almost feline, painted lips stretched across sharp teeth as she retracted her grip and sauntered back inside, leaving Gajeel feeling deeply unsettled and more than a little woozy.
"Woah there, you alright?" Xally appeared at his side, draping his swaying form over her shoulders as they began to stumble slowly through town. "Gajeel, what happened?"
"Yer hair's pretty. Like snow." He plucked at a loose tendril, eyes crossing as he tried to focus on the way it curled and moved in his fingers. "Shit. Think she dosed me Xal."
"Come on, let's get you home." She sighed, not happy at the prospect of having to nurse the large slayer through the effects of whatever he'd been given. Xally knew from experience that big mages were always big babies when it came to nursing hangovers, although she was inclined to be a little more sympathetic in this case, given Gajeel hadn't inflicted it upon himself.
It wasn't an easy walk by any means, but somehow they managed to make it back to their current accommodations without raising any suspicions or being followed, and Xally finally got a chance to inspect the fine puncture marks on Gajeels forearm.
"Well, I don't think you'll end up with another scar for the collection. You're just going to have to suffer through whatever she gave you, I'm sorry to say. You should burn through it pretty fast, but I don't know that it'll be pleasant." Xally disappeared upstairs to change, coming back in an oversized jumper that hung loosely off one shoulder.
"Are ya - I mean, yer wearing somethin' under tha', right?" Gajeel's mouth felt like it was full of cotton wool, and speaking required more concentration than he was used to, but the sight of Xally wearing nothing but a jumper was equally to blame as the mix of whatever it was currently running through his veins.
"Yes, Gajeel." They'd been home no more than five minutes, and she was already contemplating just knocking him out so he couldn't be frustrating as hell for the next however long this was going to last.
"Oh. Kinda wish ye weren't. Yer skin looks soft."
"Brilliant. Just perfect. Gajeel, look at me" Xally knelt in front of him, trying to hold the gaze of red eyes that were dilated and unfocused, a goofy smile spreading across his face.
"Yer eyes got a little gold in 'em." He giggled, and she couldn't help but sigh in exasperation.
"Congratulations, you're officially high. Drink this" she pressed a glass into his hand, watching as he downed the entire thing without taking his eyes off hers, noticing for the first time how black pupils were slitting in and out. "Haearn you're the last thing I need right now - go to sleep Dragon".
"Oh, but what fun we could have together dywysoges. I would burn it out of his system faster than anything else."
Xally knew she'd already lost the battle, throwing her hands up in defeat as his form shimmered and shifted in front of her, eyes whiting out completely and scales rising in patches all across his skin. She was a little concerned with what the Dragon could possibly mean by 'fun', but as it turned out a drugged Dragon was eerily similar to a kitten - he wanted to play, stalking shadows where they danced in corners and on the walls, snuggling his head onto Xally's lap as the effects began to abate and purring deep in his throat as she stroked and gently combed her fingers through long black tresses.
"He loves you."
"I know haearn. Stop pushing him, yeah? I know what you want, but you know better than anyone why he can't rush things."
"Dim ond i chi, fy frenhines."
With a sigh the last of his power faded, and Xally was left with a very sleepy and clear headed Gajeel blinking up at her owlishly.
"Hi."
"Hi yourself. Ready for bed?"
"More'n. Were ya talkin' ta th' Dragon? Mavis, sorry fer whatever he said ta ye." Gajeel stood clumsily, swaying a little until she helped steady him, helped guide him up the staircase and into the room where he dropped heavily into the bed, asleep almost the instant his head hit the pillow.
"Your Dragon's nothing more than an overgrown kitten. Sweet dreams Gajeel."
Translations -
dywysoges = princess
Fy ddraig = my dragon
Rwyf wrth fy modd i chi = I love you
Dim ond i chi, fy frenhines = Just for you, my queen
The last half of this chapter was a nightmare! I wrote it, and it was brilliant - more imagery, more emotive, just more what I want this story to be - and then the app deleted it all! So instead you have a dialogue heavy section that I don't love, but I couldn't bear to look at this for another minute.
Nic - these two have so much chemistry they basically need their own periodic table!
Dragonfly - as much as they want to just jump in, I really feel like he would be so hesitant to start anything given his history. And you get a little peek into that here again!
Rao - thank you! I like to try and keep you all on your toes.
As always, I'm excited to ready all your feedback and ideas! Stay safe everyone!
- A.V xxx