Thanks for taking interest. Get ready to enjoy some clean laughs and open reading. Seriously, you've got a ways to go. Chapters are overrated.
"White fluffy clouds,
As far as an eye could perceive,
Such beauty lasts so long,
That the marching of time seems to flee"
"But when those clouds become black
And the rain flushes away the light
Those stormy clouds rage on
Still seeming to brighten my night"
Robin continued scribbling in his notebook. He never exactly understood the things he would write, but it was always an escape from life's troubles. The wind blew gently; barely able to toss a page. As Robin tapped his pen against the wooden table, he noticed that times like these are moments when he could truly enjoy the beauty of the Smash Bros. Garden. The bushes rustled ever so slightly and he even dared to close his eyes and take a deep breath of peace.
Until he was unfortunate enough to open his eyes and see Roy leaning over the table to stare at him.
"Great heavens above!" Robin jumped and slung his notebook at him. He swiftly swatted Roy, leaving a reddish mark on his cheek.
"Ow! Hey, what's your problem Robin!? I thought we were meeting up for lunch!" he barked while rubbing his beaten face.
"You nearly startled me to death! How do you manage to be sneakier than Sheik?" he sighed and put the book down. Sheik appeared out of thin air behind him and put him into a choke-hold.
"I'm sorry, what was that about Sheik? Nobody is sneakier than Sheik. I've snuck up on the best of the best and I'll have your head the next time you suggest that I'm slacking." she whispered before letting go. Robin sputtered for air as she threw down a smoke bomb and disappeared.
"*cough* Ugh, there goes the peace. Is it already lunchtime Roy?" he asked, happy that his life was spared. Roy's eyes were wide as if his mind was blown.
"Robin, are you just going to ignore that blatant death threa-" a knife flew through the air and struck the table near Roy's hand. "AH! Actually, I don't think I'm going to finish that sentence…"
Another knife struck the table a bit further away than the previous with a note that read "GOOD BOY". Robin gulped and shook his head.
"A-anyway, yes Roy, I'm ready to go to lunch. How did you know where to find me? I don't remember setting a meet-up point yesterday." Robin stared suspiciously at him. Roy scratched his head.
"Uh, what do you mean? Whenever anybody is looking for you, we check here. I'm pretty sure this is like, your most favorite spot in the whole world? That or the library...jeez you're such a nerd…" he stood up.
"I'm going to ignore that last part. This place really does help me relax though. We're lucky that Master Hand provides such a beautiful garden for us. Nothing beats writing in this type of weather."
"Not even a library?"
"No, not even a library. Now come on, let's walk and talk." Robin joined him in standing, clutching his notebook in his hand. Roy glanced down before looking at him.
"Whatcha writing about? Cake?" he asked. Robin slightly frowned.
"Of course not. I was just scratching down anything that I could think of on a whim. I've kind of been getting more into poems lately." They walked through the double doors leading to the gardens. The sun could be harsh somedays, but the Smash Mansion always had comfort to offer. A large breeze of air welcomed them back into their temporary home.
"Poems? I haven't written one of those in years." Roy smiled. "I was always a sportsy type of guy."
"The fact that you've written at least one poem in your lifetime already has me quite impressed." the tactician sighed. "I suppose I can't complain much. I'm only just now trying it out anyway."
As they continued through the mansion, various noises could be heard off in the distance. Walls breaking, plates crashing, and people screaming. This was no anomaly in the mansion and everyone knew this. You couldn't mix a wild variety of personalities and peoples without expecting some amount of collateral damage. The two smashers pushed open the cafeteria doors to see the place in a smoldering chaos. Wario and Simon had been tied up and placed in the middle of the cafeteria in order to atone for their riots.
"I don't even know what's happening and I'm already not surprised." Roy rolled his eyes. Robin followed him closely behind. "Well, at least it looks like the others are here already." He pointed to a table sitting in the corner with a small group of people at it. Sitting at this table were Luigi, Samus, Lucina, Ike, and Marth, who waved at the sight of them.
Roy plopped down right in between Ike and Marth while Robin scooted himself in next to Luigi. Roy leaned forward with a smile on his face.
"Alright, what did we miss? Why are some things on fire?" Samus looked up from her book and glanced in the direction of Wario and Simon.
"Well, those two knuckleheads over there got into an argument of sorts and decided that violence was definitely the answer. They began throwing food, trays, chairs, tables, axes and people at each other and eventually, everybody was fighting everybody. I'm just glad that Master Hand came in and sorted it out-" she looked at a table that was still on fire. "Well, mostly sorted out." she murmured before diving back into her story. Robin held tightly onto his notebook, eager to get back to writing. Ike banged his fist on the table, making a few of them jump.
"What took you guys so long? I've been nice and polite to wait here instead of eating without you two. Can we do food stuff now?" he impatiently tapped his finger against the table.
Lucina: "Don't be like that Ike. You could have eaten without them if you wanted to."
Marth: "Besides, didn't you just sit down a few minutes ago?"
Robin: "That would make sense since you've never waited before…"
Luigi: "I'ma Luigi, numba 1!"
Roy: "We would've been here sooner if Robin would stop getting so lost in thought."
Robin looked up at Roy. His cheek was still red. "Not sorry about the cheek by the way." he muttered. Roy looked almost offended and turned away.
"Must've been a pretty good poem for you to react like that…" Roy stood up once again. "Come on Ike, it's food time." he looked up to see Ike already lined up with a tray. "Hey, what happened to waiting!?" he yelled while running. Robin sighed and Samus looked at him.
"You write poems Robin?" she asked. The tactician scratched his head.
"Um...kind of, I suppose. It's nothing great or anything. Just whatever comes to mind." he sheepishly grinned. Samus closed her book.
"Mind if I take a look? I've always been curious about your literary skills. What's going on in that head of yours?" Robin didn't really seem interested in sharing, especially because he felt childish for writing simple poems.
"I would rather not actually. It's nothing I'm really proud of…" he said. Lucina pat him on the back and chimed in.
"Don't worry Robin, all forms of art are special. There is no 'write' or wrong way to do artistic literature! Get it? 'Write'?" she nudged. He shook his head and looked at Samus.
Robin: "Maybe another time Samus. I'll let you know if I come up with something I'm proud of."
Lucina: "Get it? 'Write' as in right or wrong?"
Samus: "I won't force you. But don't let yourself be embarrassed by your own work."
Lucina: "Like, imagine if I said 'write' instead of 'right'. It would be relevant because we're talking about writing. You get it now? 'Write' instead of right?"
Marth: "Yes Lucy, we get it."
Robin: "Samus, telling anybody artsy to not hate their own work is like telling Simon not to throw axes. It just isn't going to happen."
Lucina: "It was funny right? Write? Write?"
Roy slammed his tray full of food on the table and sat down. Ike did the same, but without the slamming.
"Alright we're back. Glad we missed whatever boring crap you guys were talking about." Roy announced before stuffing his face full of potatoes and gravy. Marth rolled his eyes.
"Yes, I'm certain you offer interesting conversations yourself. Why don't you tell us the story of how you got a book-shaped mark on your face?" he retorted. Roy began to turn slightly red in the face.
"Don't worry about that. However, you're correct about the interesting conversation part. Wanna hear a cool rumor?" he mumbled while chewing through chicken and broccoli. Nobody really answered. "I'll take your silence as a yes! Now, I won't tell from who, but I've heard a little bit about Kirby's past. I heard that he can destroy gods on the daily just off the pure anger of somebody tampering with his cake." Samus raised an eyebrow.
"You want to repeat what you said without a mouthful of food?" she grunted. Roy swallowed down all of the mushroom soup in his mouth before repeating himself.
"Kirby can kill gods if they mess with his cake." Without waiting a second, he scooped up another fork full of pasta pesto. Lucina shook her head.
"Kirby can defeat gods? I wouldn't believe that for a second. I mean, he's a tough little guy if he can go toe-to-toe with other smashers, but he's far too cute to play with gods. Like seriously, LOOK at him." she turned around and pointed behind her. Kirby was sitting alone at a table full of food and having the time of his life. Samus smiled.
"He's adorable. You don't find that sort of innocence everywhere."
Marth: "And Roy tries to spread something or another about him being a deity slayer of some sort. That's pretty funny."
Roy shook his head before responding. "You don't understand. He's a lot stronger than he looks. He probably holds back during the tournament."
Samus: "Swallow your food before speaking Roy." he swallowed the peas and corn before trying again.
Roy: "Basically, Kirbs big strong. And I'd bet a hundred bucks that he's actually a cute little god destroyer." This got Ike's attention. He wiped the sauce from his sriracha pork off his mouth and grinned.
"A hundred dollars you say? Seriously? I can prove you wrong AND win money?" he stared Roy down.
"That's right. I wholeheartedly believe that Kirby could destroy the universe. I don't even need proof since it seems believable. I would pay a hundred dollars if I was wrong though."
Little did Roy know that his words would influence one of the most poor decisions ever made by human kind. Ike stood up and rolled his sleeves back.
"That settles it. I'm going to eat Kirby's cake and then challenge him to an arm wrestling match." he giggled and headed to his table. Despite Roy's warnings, he approached Kirby hastily.
Robin: "I don't have a very good feeling about this…"
Roy: "I mean, I'm not going to say no to watching Ike get beaten to a pulp. That sounds like a fun pass time."
Marth: "Poor Kirby. He has to deal with you two morons…"
They watched Ike stroll up to Kirby who seemed to be unsuspecting of anything. Kirby was three-quarters of the way through his table full of food. He had a tasty-looking slice of cake sitting to the side as if he was saving it for last. Ike walked up to him and scratched his head.
"Hey there Kirby."
"Poyo!" he happily answered back before inhaling more food. Before Kirby could process what was happening, Ike picked up the slice of cake and stuffed it down his gullet. Feeling bold, he sat down and held his arm up; ready and willing to arm wrestle.
"Come on Kirbs. If you're so strong, then beat me in an arm-wrestling match." he arrogantly smirked while staring Kirby in the eyes. Kirby didn't seem to understand until his expression changed. He wasn't smiling like normal. As a matter of fact, he was frowning so hard that he had grown muscles in his face just to express his pure discontent. His eyes furrowed into an unsettling stare that made his eyes seem ten shades more red than white. Ike looked to the side and shot Roy a thumbs up.
"Don't worry Kirby, there's no need for a warm-up. I'll go easy on y-"
Kirby flipped the table and sent both Ike and the rest of his food flying to the ground. The blue-haired warrior seemed shocked at the puffballs explosion. He wiped eggs and beans out of his eyes to see Kirby standing over him with a mallet.
"Woah, Kirby! Take it easy, I was only kidding aroun-" Kirby cut him off once again by whacking him through a wall. Ike (and the table) flew ten feet and crashed into the hallway. Everyone at Robin's table jumped up in excitement and worry.
Robin: "Good lord, what is happening over there!?"
Roy: "lol get rekt Ike"
Lucina: "Oh my gods he's gonna kill him!"
Samus: "Maybe he really can beat up a god or something."
Luigi: "Oh yeah! Luigi like-a that!"
Marth: "A part of me doesn't feel bad, but the other part of me really hopes that Kirby doesn't get angrier…"
They began to stand up to follow them out, but Ike's beaten body came crashing through the wall. He landed near them, barely able to talk.
"Help." Most of his bones had to be broken at the very least and Kirby was dashing through the hole in the wall to get him. Before he could reach him, Samus stepped in between the two.
"Wait Kirby. I know you're angry and Ike is fully to blame, but he probably learned his lesson. He should have never done that and Roy shouldn't have put him up to it. We're really sorry he bothered you and ate your cake, but we can make you a new one if you take a second to calm down. They weren't trying to make you mad alright? You know, these idiots were just goofing around and took it too far. But surely you don't mind if we get you a new one, right little guy?" she reasoned while giving him a soft smile. Kirby took one look at her before kicking her through the rafters.
"SWEET JESUS!" Roy shouted with a mouthful of pineapple pizza. Kirby looked at Ike before picking him up and swinging around like a baseball bat to hit anyone closest to him. Lucina ducked under the Ike-bat and ran away.
"Leave me alone! I didn't do anything!" she screamed, but Kirby didn't care. He wanted vengence. He spun in a circle and made a tornado that began raging in the center of the cafeteria. Simon and Wario were sucked into it; helpless to do anything. Lucina, Luigi, Roy, Marth, and Robin were all holding onto the nearest countertop to try and stay in place.
Robin: "Why would you provoke the rage of such a cute puffball Roy!?"
Roy: "I told you that something was up with him!"
The tornado came to a sharp stop, only revealing a Kirby with blue hair. Marth took deep breaths before looking back.
"Hey, has Kirby always had such devilishly handsome locks?" he asked. Robin smacked him on the back of the head.
"No you buffoon, he's inhaled Ike! We gotta get out of here!" he shouted. They were right near the emergency exit. It had tiny text written on it that said, "ONLY USE FOR EXTREME EMERGENCY". Seeing how there was a livid Kirby swinging around Ike's sword behind them, nobody really considered this message before charging out. The alarm activated when the door was opened and the group sprinted as quickly as they could. Robin was left in the dust of everyone else since he was not a very fast smasher and Kirby grabbed him before he could even leave the property. His eyes were red with fury and Robin clearly had no hope of surviving.
"POYO!"
"W-wait! If you spare me, I'll write a cool poem about you!" Robin gave him a weak grin. Kirby didn't even take the time to think about what a poem was before stuffing the man into his mouth. Kirby's hair turned from blue to white and he began to throw around lightning from Robin's tome. He already had his eyes on the small group of smashers and it was only a matter of time before he would have them all.
"*huff* *puff* *wheeze* Did we lose him?" Lucina gasped for air. They had run so far that they didn't seem to recognize the area that they were in. They had gotten themselves lost in the dense forest surrounding the Smash Bros. Mansion. Beads of sweat poured off their faces and they all collapsed to the ground.
Roy: "Well at least he won't be able to find us in here. These trees are waaaaaaaaay too thick to see through very far."
Marth: "Poor Robin. There was no way he could be fast enough to get away. I just hope Kirby was gentle with him." he sniffed. All of a sudden, there was a rustling in the bushes. The four smashers became startled and huddled together. "Did he find us?" Marth quivered. Luigi stood up and walked over to the bush.
"Don't-a be ridiculous. There's not-a chance he could-a find us in here." He poked the bush with a stick and a squirrel ran out. He turned around to face the group and smiled. "See? Nothing to be afraid of!"
Kirby hopped up and dragged Luigi deeper into the forest. "MAMA MIA! I DON'T-A WANNA GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he cried before the forest became silent.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! LUIGI NOOOOO!" They all cried. Lucina, Marth, and Roy were exhausted, but through sheer fear alone, they began to sprint away from the bush. Green fireballs started spewing everywhere, burning everything they touched. In just a few seconds, the forest was set ablaze by green flames. Black smoke rose towards the clouds as the dense forest turned to ash.
"Lucina! Roy! We need to get out of this forest or we're going to burn up! It's too hard to breathe with the smoke in here!" Marth cried. Lucina stopped and shook her head.
"But then we would be out in the open! Leaving would mean that we're sitting ducks!"
"That didn't stop Kirby from finding us here! If we don't leave, then he'll be inhaling our ashes by the time he catches up!" he argued. In unison, they dashed through the forest while cutting branches and leaves out of their way. Finally, they reached an open field with hills rising above more hills. Roy stopped to wipe the sweat off of his forehead.
"This would be beautiful if we weren't running for our lives."
"WATCH OUT ROY!" Marth shouted, diving towards him. He shoved Roy out of the way of Kirby's inhale and tragically took Roy's place. Kirby swallowed Marth whole and his hair turned blue again. The pink puffball pulled out a sword and jabbed it into the direction of Lucina and Roy.
"POYO!"
"There's nowhere else for us to run Roy! Our goose is cooked!" she panicked. Fire burned in the boy's eyes as he pulled out his sword.
"Then we fight Lucina! Together, we'll calm this menace down!" he bravely spoke. Kirby's expression didn't change. He still held the sword with the intention of skewering and then eating. Lucina took a deep breath and pulled out her blade.
"Fine then. I guess we'll have to do things the HARD way Kirby! HIYAA!" She swiftly swung her arm at the pink puffball. He parried her blade away before swinging at her legs.
"Oh no you don't!" Roy shouted as he blocked Kirby's attack. He swatted his falchion against the ground and jumped over Kirby. He swung his binding blade towards Kirby's back, only to be greeted by the sharp steel that was Marth's sword. Kirby was fast enough to block. The pink menace grabbed Roy's sword by the blade and shattered it into pieces against his head.
"W-w-what!? How in the world does that happen!?" he stumbled backwards and fell on the ground. Kirby marched towards him with a hunger for his red hair.
"Kyahh!" Lucina shouted as she dove towards Kirby with an outstretched Falchion. He turned around and threw one of Luigi's fire balls at Lucina, bouncing her sword away and setting her leg on fire. "GAH! Roy, run! Quickly! Don't worry, I'll be al'write'! Get it?" she exclaimed before Kirby stuffed her into his mouth. His hair stayed the same shade, but became longer.
Roy was the only one left. He had nowhere to go. The land behind him was burning and there was nothing he could fight back with. As he trembled in fear and waited to be put to his harsh end by Kirby, he remembered something that happened earlier the same day that may have been able to save him. As Kirby held Lucina's blade up to Roy's head, he muttered one last sentence and hoped that Robin had given him the answer.
"Wow Kirby! I can't believe you're even more stealthy than Sheik!"
In almost an instant, Sheik was behind him. "Why would you even say something like that knowing it would make me want to kill y-holy moly what is going on over here!?" her jaw dropped to see everything on fire. Kirby looked slightly confused to see Sheik out of nowhere, but held up Lucina's blade regardless. Roy frantically grabbed at her arm.
"NOTIMETOTALKQUICKLYDOTHESMOKEBOMBTHINGPLEASEGODSDOITNOW!" he shouted. She quickly threw down a smoke bomb and stealthily disappeared before Kirby brought down the sword. They had escaped, but to Kirby, it didn't make a difference. He kept that same angry stare on his face. He would find them. The world had wronged him of his cake and for that...for such a grave crime...Kirby was going to eat the world. He wouldn't be satisfied until he had eaten all of Super Smash Bros. It was only a matter of time. One can run, but they can never be truly safe from the Pink Menace.
"POYO." he spoke before slowly walking through the flames to his next destination.
In a cloud of smoke, the two smashers appeared back at the mansion. Roy fell to the ground in a huff while Sheik swiftly landed on her feet. They dropped in front of the main desk, making the receptionist jump in surprise. Roy clawed at the desk to climb to his feet; all while gasping for air.
"Excuse me Mr. Desk Man! I need to get ahold of Master Hand RIGHT NOW. Is he in his office?" he demanded to know. Roy sounded more fearful than he did urgent, but the clerk gave him an answer regardless.
"Um...Yes, Master Hand is in his office right now, but he's currently in an important meeting-"
"NOT IMPORTANT ENOUGH!" shouted the red-haired warrior before sprinting down the hall. Sheik folded her arms and scoffed.
"Not even a thank you? Wasn't easy hauling his fat butt around…" Roy was already gone and unable to respond. Sheik took one look at the desk worker before rolling her eyes and walking down the hall after Roy. (Yes, just normal human walking. Not even wall hopping and teleportation and whatnot. Crazy right? 'Write'?")
Roy kicked open the gigantic Hand-size doors to Master Hand's office. At least, he tried to kick the doors open. The doors are massive and weigh a ton, so it was no surprise when they didn't move an inch. As a matter of fact, the boy should feel lucky for not completely destroying his foot. Master Hand pulled one of the doors open to see Roy squirming on the ground while holding his foot.
"Roy, I hope you didn't come here to goof off. I'm just now finishing up a meeting, so this had better be important." The mighty (yet gentle) hand boomed. He floated back into the office where he took his place at the giant desk. In a chair was a man dressed in overalls and purple. "I'm sorry Waluigi, but with the way things are going, I don't believe I'll have room to fit you into the tournament this time around. I know you've been working very hard, but there's only so much that I can do for you. You'll have to stick with being a certified Assist Trophy for right now."
Waluigi's expression changed from hopeful to furious. He hopped out of his chair and pointed towards the big hand.
"Bah! Waluigi doesn't need to be in such a run down goof-off of a tournament anyway! Forget the trophy nonsense! You can-a go assist yourself because I QUIT! WAH!" he screamed before angrily pacing out of his office. Roy crawled up to the desk while ignoring whatever Master Hand was in the middle of.
"Good afternoon Roy. Is there something I can assist you with?" the hand sighed. Roy had an unsettling and terrified expression on his face.
"Master Hand, this is a Class S Tier Emergency! I bet Ike a hundred bucks!"
"Why does 100 dollars matter enough for a Class S Tier Emergency? You normally get paid more than that for winning one battle…" he spoke. Roy shook his head.
"Ike ate Kirby's cake and now Kirby is killing and eating everybody! It's a massacre! He's so mad that he broke my sword on his head!"
"You WHAT!? HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND!?" Master Hand pulled out a big book the size of a human and slammed it onto his desk. It was his 'Big Book of Rules and Regulations' and he flipped to the very last page, pointing to the rule outlined 10 times and colored in red and black. "It says it RIGHT HERE that you absolutely, never ever in a million years, should tamper with Kirby's cake! This right here is ranked as the highest priority rule of ALL TIME. What was going through your heads!? This is accessible to everyone!" the hand shouted. Roy slumped into his chair while giving a weak smile.
"Well, uh, we thought it was a rumor that Kirby could kill gods and stuff-"
"A RUMOR!? I'VE HAD THIS ON EVERY BILLBOARD IN A 50 MILE RADIUS THAT SAYS NOT TO DO THIS!? This isn't anything new Roy! This has been here ever since the very first tournament 22 years ago!" Master Hand wasn't happy at all.
"We're here to fight Master Hand! Not to read! I don't even remember what the number 22 looks like anymore…"
There was a long pause. Master Hand seemed to be pondering a solution while also gathering his wits.
"Who all do you know that he has inhaled? I'm assuming Ike?" he began flipping through a big emergency book. Roy began counting on his fingers.
"Let's see, there's Ike, Wario, Simon, Marth, Luigi, Robin, Lucina, and most likely Samus too. I'm certain he got her when he summoned the tornado in the cafeteria. I never would have made it back if Lucina didn't sacrifice herself to save me." he said. Master Hand paused for a second before laying down two human-sized sheets of paper on his desk.
"I have had plans for this occurrence for 22 years. If you look right here, then you'll find the cake recipe for Kirby's favorite cake. Now, baking the cake isn't the problem. Making time to bake it is. According to some calculations I ran a long time ago and assuming that we are using planet Earth as a reference, if you're on two different sides of the planet from Kirby, it would only take him 4.5 hours on a warp star to travel halfway across the planet. 4 hours on foot if he's mad enough. This cake has a 5 hour cook time and I doubt Kirby is halfway across the planet right now. What I am going to tell you is very important, so listen-"
Master Hand was abruptly cut off by Sheik who dashed through the open door.
"Master Hand! There's some lanky purple man crying in the street!" she exclaimed. Master Hand would have raised an eyebrow if he had those.
"Okay…? I'm a bit busy-"
"Oh yeah, Kirby also killed and ate him too."
"Heavens! Roy, we have less time than I initially thought. The second document is how to bring back everyone and everything that Kirby has eaten. These two documents are the most important documents in the world. Sheik! Roy! You two are to take these straight to Princess Peach and evacuate the building! Be sure to tell her that it is a 'Code Pink' and she will understand right away. You must be quick, as I and the other smashers won't be able to hold Kirby off for long. The fate of the world rests in your hands, Sheik." Master Hand floated up from his desk, flipped an alarm named 'BATTLE STATIONS' and zoomed out of the room. Roy shook a fist at him.
"Hey, what about me! I'm helping too!" he angrily yelled. Sheik pointed out the door with urgency.
"There's no time to worry about that! We have to get to the Princess right away!" The alarm Master Hand set off was booming and the Smashers were trained to be ready to fight at any time if there was a raid-like situation to happen. As the two smashers dashed out of the office, they were met with the sight of every smash bros fighter outside barricading the entrance. It was an inspiring sight and one could hear Mario who chose to lead the pack over all the commotion.
"Kirby? What are you-a doing over there? You need to-a get ready, we're being raided!"
"Mario, that IS who's raiding us!" Master Hand boomed. "Kirby has gone mad! Ike ate his cake!" he told. Mario shook his head and approached Kirby with a smile.
"Oh, is that-a all? Don't be-a so silly Kirby! We can-a always make you a new one!" he held out his hand for a hand shake. Kirby's face didn't change; the malice painted on for years to come. He put Luigi's hat on and stared Mario in the eyes.
"POYO!" the Pink Menace set Mario on fire with the green fire he was so familiar with. Right before Kirby swallowed Mario whole, the plumber screamed,
"You killed-a my brother!" Mario disappeared into Kirby and silence took the stage. Before an all-out war started, Roy and Sheik spotted the pink dress they were looking for in the back of the crowd and they snatched her to the side. Sheik covered the Princess's mouth with her hand and before she could protest, she whispered into her ear.
"Sorry Princess, but this is a code pink."
On command, Peach's muscles tripled as she backflipped from Sheik's grip. Her brow lowered and she tied a headband onto her forehead, along with her hair back.
"Understood. I've waited for this day my entire life. There's no time to waste; we must take the helicopter I've arranged to a hidden mountain resort. It will take some time for Kirby to find us there." she began marching up the stairs without waiting for a reply. Roy wiped his eyes to make sure he wasn't dreaming before looking towards the entrance. Smashers were flying everywhere, along with projectiles, bullets, and debris. His head snapped towards Peach as he made a face.
"You made preparations? We just talked to you 5 seconds ago!?"
"There's no time! Both of you, we must make our escape posthaste! This is for the fate of the world!" she cried while sprinting (in heels) up the staircase. Roy shook his head and dashed after her despite Sheik being nowhere to be seen. He desperately wanted to join in the fight, but he was forced to leave and listen to the chaos behind him. Link's voice shouted above the explosions.
"He just got Bayonetta! Take cover!" The sounds of gunshots filled the air and Roy winced before finally leaving.
After climbing 13 flights of stairs, Roy drug himself to the roof entrance to be met with a helicopter. Princess Peach looked to be unfazed by the climb as she quickly stepped into the helicopter. Sheik also seemed to be waiting for him; somehow reaching the top at an ungodly speed. He looked behind himself to see the elevator doors closing, which would explain Sheik's sudden disappearance. A Toad with a blue and white spotted head was piloting the helicopter while a rather gruff looking Toad was sitting in the back. His head was all red with white spots (like a mushroom) and his limbs seemed to be significantly longer than that of a normal Toad. Roy jumped in the seat next to him and the helicopter lifted off into the air. Roy leaned to the side and tried to talk to the Toad in order to lighten the mood.
"Hey, are you a bodyguard or something?" he asked. The Toad looked in Roy's direction before resuming his fixed position.
"HUARH!" The Toad seemed to cry out for no reason, startling both Roy and Sheik. The Toad flying the helicopter laughed before speaking.
"Don't mind him. He isn't very good at talking. As a matter of fact, he can't say any legible words. Don't let that fool you though. This young man is the Toad Clan's ultimate warrior. He is the strongest of us all and the most volatile being in all of the Mushroom Kingdom. His name is Jedrek Alexandre Maximillian Hombre Armani Jr. IV. Or, you can call him 'Super Toad' for short. He's going to be the one to make sure you have enough time to finish the cake. He's going to help save the world." the Toad said before shifting his gaze towards the window.
Roy and Sheik both shook their heads.
"Jedrek Maximus Optimus Prime whatnow!?" they asked in unison. The pilot shook his head and pulled the plane to a hard left. They were leaving the mansion behind in the dust. The battle against Kirby seemed long from over, though many of the smashers seemed to be missing, along with Master and Crazy Hand.
"You oughtta focus on the mission at hand. Your Highness, are they aware of their roles in this plan?" Princess Peach had been sitting in the front passenger side seat and a spark came to her once asked. She nodded and smiled.
"Your focus is admirable Colonel Milver, but I am not to be rushed. I know exactly what must be done."
"Forgive me, your highness…"
"Nonsense Colonel. All is well and our spirits will be the guides that aid us most in this quest." she turned around in her seat and met Super Toad, Roy, and Sheik all in the eyes at once. "Super Toad, you will keep watch and be sure to alarm us if the Pink Menace is spotted. Once he makes his way here, I want you to fight with every last bit of your strength to buy us as much time as possible. This is your ultimate duty." she spoke. The odd Toad nodded.
"HUARH!"
Peach's gaze shifted towards Sheik. The silent assassin sat at attention and awaited her instructions. "Sheik, you are going to booby trap our building so that no living creature may ever get in or out without mechanical assistance. I have had supplies shipped beforehand so that traps may help keep the Pink Menace out. I'm certain you have several tricks of your own, so you shall not be instructed on how to do so. Once you have finished rigging the building up, you are to rendezvous with Super Toad and defend the kitchen to the best of your ability. Be certain not to get caught in your own traps. This is your ultimate duty." she commanded. Sheik shut her eyes and bowed her head.
"Yes Commander. I will defend this planet with all my might."
Lastly, Peach's eye's locked with Roy's. She could sense a fire burning through his gaze. "Roy, you are going to help me bake. I've already run a mental simulation and in order for us to finish the cake within the five-hour timeframe, I have split up the work 19/20. I shall take care of 95% of the baking process while you shall handle the remaining 5% of the project. This cake is extremely delicate and it will take all of your focus and care in order to perfectly deliver a dessert worthy of saving the world. Though I already have the work memorized, that recipe you received from Master Hand will be crucial for your understanding and to our finishing in time. No matter what happens, you must not make any substitutions or miscalculations to the recipe or the cake will fail. Once inside the building, there will be no leaving under any circumstances. If you are to finish your 5% before I complete my 95%, then sit in the corner and do nothing while the cake makes its magic. It's fragile, so large amounts of noise are not allowed by any means. This is your ultimate duty." her voice echoed. Roy stood up and saluted her with all his might.
"Understood! I will set aside pride and bake the greatest cake ever to be seen by mankind!" he shouted. The Princess smiled before facing forward in her seat again. In such a small amount of time, the helicopter seemed to be approaching a building hidden in the snowy mountains. A large helipad rested in the field behind the building and the helicopter sped to it without hesitation.
A large dust constantly held itself in the air where the mansion used to stand. The building had been completely destroyed by the fighting and smoldering flames clung to what little was left. The entire area seemed to have come to a hush. Through the smoke and dust, Kirby seemed to be the only one left standing. Master Hand and Crazy Hand did their very best to prepare for the battle, but everyone was quickly wiped out. As the dust slowly cleared, two silhouettes brought themselves to their feet to stand in Kirby's way. A man and woman were the only ones left after Kirby's wrathful inhaling spree. They valiantly stood once again to fight an impossible battle.
Shulk stared forward at a creature that he once believed to be a friend to all. His left arm was broken and small drops of crimson dripped to the ground from his fingertips. He looked to his left to see his companion in a similarly injured state.
"Are you going to be okay, Palutena? We're the only ones left…" he coughed. He was clamping the monado tightly with his right hand before pointing it in the direction of Kirby.
"You should be *cough* more focused on your arm. You'll be inhaled in seconds at this rate. Can't let things end like that, now can we?" the Goddess offered a weak smile. Her clothes were tattered and covered in smog. In one quick motion, the dust in the air was split in two as Kirby slung Sephiroth's blade back and forth. He impatiently began walking to finish the two off. Shulk shook his head and closed his eyes; a sudden vision showing him glimpses of the future. He was shown the hidden mountain kitchen and the efforts of Peach and the others. The image of Kirby standing in front of a lanky toad froze in his mind as he opened his eyes. Palutena held her staff upright and readied for battle.
"Even after all this, after the strength of countless talented fighters...were we doomed to fail after all this time? Our combined strength...and it's only been an hour. Has this been in vain?" she asked mournfully. Shulk grit his teeth.
"That's very unlike you, Goddess. You should know just as well as I that none of the sacrifice has been in vain. Even now, we continue to buy seconds for the people who will make all of this count. No matter what happens, our struggle here shall further our reach to victory." The two glanced at each other before looking at Kirby again. The same expression of slighted fury stayed imprinted on the puffball's face.
"I suppose you're right. Though our odds may not look good one bit, I can still feel the light of the heavens shine glory on our path. Shulk, if there was anything you have ever regretted, then now is the time to speak as we are all that is left of this fallen place. Stow your woes…" she smiled. Shulk hesitated for a second before letting out a defeated sigh.
"If only...if only I had foreseen this coming sooner, I could have saved everyone. I wish I knew how this fate came to be. What type of dreaded evil initiated themselves upon Kirby in such a way to make him result in such a rampage?"
"Don't sound at fault Shulk. No one could have seen this coming. I only wish that I could have told Pit how truly proud I am of his fighting ability before it was too late." Palutena sighed. Kirby stood firmly in front of them; merely a few meters away.
"POYO."
"Alas, he draws near. Give it your all Shulk and we may bring a bright future for the rest of mankind. And should we fall here, I pray to see the smiles of everyone once again." the Goddess shouted. Shulk nodded before activating his blade and springing forward to the Pink Menace.
"Something about the air...the tension is almost stifling." Sheik whispered to Roy. The helicopter had landed and the Princess was giving side orders to Colonel Milver before the helicopter lifted itself into the air and disappeared into the frosty mist. The mountain was cold and everyone was surprised that no snow had found its way home here. The small front doors of the secluded resort seemed to offer comfort and warmth, only drawing Roy and Sheik closer. Peach seemed to reach the door from the helipad like lightning and a large amount of dust and air blew with her speed.
"This is serious. Your duties are now in effect. I expect the best out of all of you. Godspeed Smashers." the Princess pulled open the doors and disappeared in the darkness. Super Toad positioned himself in front of the doors, ready and willing to guard once they took their final close. Sheik and Roy exchanged a glance before following Peach inside.
"Sheik, this is it."
"Yes, it's time."
"This is for Robin and the rest of my friends." Roy held a fist against his chest.
"This is because I'm bored and literally have nothing else better to do." Sheik shed a small tear before walking inside. The warm interior of the building definitely looked designed to be more of a 'getaway' than a grounds for the last stand. There was no time to take in the cleverly decorating lobby as Peach was not going to walk any slower. Roy ran after the Princess while Sheik hung back to complete her tasks. The two smashers rounded a corner into two large double doors; of which were immediately kicked open by Peach. The lights all clicked on to reveal a decently sized kitchen with fancy, shiny equipment.
Princess Toadstool turned towards Roy with a frown on her face. "Take out that list that you have. Immediately." Her eyes dug into Roy's soul.
"Okay okay! It's here-" He pulled out a crumpled up piece of paper with a small tear down the middle. Her eyes widened as she snatched it from him.
"Have you no brain? You should treat information like this delicately! Ugh, at least you can still make out what it says. Look, handle steps 1-5 and then sit in the corner. Be quick about it as well." she announced. Quickly, she dashed towards an oven and turned it on. Items began flying out of the refrigerator and onto the counters. Roy watched speechless as the Princess dashed from cupboard to pantry at an alarming speed. In just a moment, she was face-to-face with the frightened warrior.
"Get moving Roy now!" she yelled.
"Yes sir! Sorry sir!" he screamed. Looking at the list, it seemed like Peach had left the simplest activities to Roy. He tied a pink and white spotted apron on and pulled out a bowl.
STEP ONE: CRACK 4 EGGS INTO A BOWL.
"Seems simple enough." Roy spoke to himself. He had never really done a bunch of cooking before, but felt confident nonetheless. After retrieving a carton of eggs from the fridge that Peach had obliterated with pure speed, one-by-one he cracked the eggs into the bowl. The whole egg. Smash the egg and the yolk into the bowl together.
"This is almost too easy…" he smiled and scratched the back of his head. The yolk-shell shell-yolk bowl seemed as disappointed as a non-sentient object can feel. Right before Roy moved onto the next step, he looked over his shoulder to see Peach holding a knife behind him. A dark purple aura hovered around her; of which enough to frighten Lucario himself.
"You better take those eggshells out of that bowl right now before I make you into another cake ingredient." her voice was sharp and Roy had never been more willing to dip his hands into a sticky bowl in his life as much as he was now.
"YES SIR SORRY SIR pleasedonthurtme…" the red-haired warrior quickly picked each and every shell out of the bowl. He turned around and felt a wave of relief when he saw Peach continuing her prep behind him. Shaking himself out of it, he picked up the list and read off the next task.
STEP TWO: WHISK A FULL STICK OF MELTED BUTTER INTO EGGS, ALONG WITH HALF-AND-HALF CREAM AND ¼ TABLESPOON OF WATER.
"More like step 2 part A and B, but this shouldn't be too hard anyway." Roy rushed to the (destroyed) fridge and looked at the butter selection. Between 'Salted', 'Unsalted', and 'Gluten Free', he picked up a stick of salted butter and a carton of half-and-half. As he was returning to his prep counter, he once again met eye-to-eye with a very angry Peach (who was also holding a more menacing serrated knife).
"Roy, so help me gods, use UNSALTED BUTTER! We're not making a steak here!" she barked.
"AH! I mean, unsalted ASAP! ANYTHING TO SAVE THE WORLD andmyselffromyou…" he cried while shutting his eyes. When he gathered enough courage to open them again, he was thankful to see Peach working hard on something else. "Thank goodness there's other things for her to do or I'd be toast...Actually, more like cake amirite? Hehe…'write'...I miss Lucina…"
Roy brought back his ingredients (along with crippling fear) and laid them out on the table. He heated the butter up in a microwave and poured all of the substances into the egg bowl. After some heated mixing, Roy had finally finished the second simplest task.
STEP THREE: USE THE MIXTURE TO MASK YOUR SCENT BEFORE KIRBY KILLS ALL OF YOU.
"W-what!?" Roy wiped his eyes and looked at the list again.
STEP THREE: USE A ½ MEASURING CUP TO MEASURE FLOUR, CORN MEAL, YEAST, SUGAR, AND BAKING SODA IN A LARGE BOWL.
"Oh thank gods. I must be losing my marbles...What type of weirdo cake are we baking anyway?" his question fell on deaf ears. Peach had no time for talk and Roy had no time to be making mistakes. Roy (somehow) gathered the correct ingredients with a big bowl and brought them back to his counter. He scooped a large scoop of flour; ready to dump it into the bowl. Peach's hand shot out and grabbed his wrist, nearly grinding his bone in.
"ROY YOU INCOMPETENT BUFFOON! THAT IS A ⅓ CUP, NOT A ½! SHAPE UP OR I'LL SHAPE YOU INTO A CASKET!" she screamed. She held up an active buzzsaw before letting Roy go. His heartbeat doubled in speed as she walked away.
"You can't keep scaring me like this. My poor lil heart can't take much more…" he sobbed. This made him super careful to follow the recipe exactly as it asked. He properly mixed together all of the dry ingredients even though he was afraid to look at the next step.
STEP FOUR: ADD THE WET INGREDIENTS TO THE DRY INGREDIENTS BOWL AND MIX UNTIL SOFT SUBSTANCE FORMS.
"Oh, nice. This is the easiest one so far. How could I be afraid of messing this up?" He picked up the dry ingredients bowl and held it over the wet substance bowl. Before pouring, he checked over his shoulder to make sure he was doing things correctly. Peach was loading shells into a double-barrel shotgun while maliciously staring at him.
"Oops wrong bowl wrong bowl wrong bowl wrong bowl wrong bowl wrong bowl!" He gently and quickly set the dry bowl down and poured the wet substance into the dry substance bowl. Slowly stirring the mixture around, the dough began to form and thickened so that Roy had to put a lot of effort into mixing it around. He rinsed his hands off and molded the mixture with pure strength. After he was done, a sad looking ball of mush sat in the bowl staring back at him. The red-haired boy wiped his eyes and that sad dough ball turned into a furious Kirby holding Bayonetta's gun at him.
"Ah!" he jumped backwards and bumped into Peach. A bag she was holding dropped from her hands and burst onto the ground, spilling pink fondant mix onto the floor. Her handmade mix turned into a sad looking ball of mush on the ground. Roy backed away from her in fear. She was like a statue; looking down at the homemade fondant as if she was chiseled to do so.
"Y-y-your Highness...? I uh...well I have no excuses at this point, so just-" she snapped around and grabbed him by his neck. Roy looked into her eyes and saw his death a thousand times over. With magnificent force, she threw him to the other side of the kitchen and he dove headfirst into the trash can. The recipe instructions sheet flew around and landed on the floor near the trash can.
"Ew, somebody's chewed gum is in my hair!" He hollard while falling out of the bin and kicking garbage everywhere. The crumpled piece of paper pathetically struggled to release itself from Roy's butt, but as an inanimate object, it had no choice but to sit still. "Oh yeah, the world is on the line. Better finish this quickly." The final instruction on the list peeked out under his behind.
STEP FIVE: GET OFF OF ME.
"What?" Pulling the paper from its worst nightmare and looking more closely, the text made more sense.
STEP FIVE: INSERT MIXTURE INTO A ROUND PAN AND BAKE ON 450 UNTIL MIXTURE SPRINGS UPWARDS. OH YEAH, YOU SHOULD PREHEAT THE OVEN LOL.
"Oh you've got to be kidding me." he looked to see Peach flying back and forth in a hurry. It would be dangerous to disturb her again. "P-P-Princess? I forgot to uh...preheat the oven…" WIthout looking, her finger shot towards an oven in the corner that was already preheated. Seems she had already premeditated this situation. Now whether it was a measure of safety or if it was a direct insult to Roy's intelligence was beyond him.
With haste, he opened the oven door and slung the pan inside. "I did it! My part is done!" he jumped up and gave himself a high five. Turning around, Peach was now pointing to a little chair in the corner.
"Now sit." she hissed.
"But I want to help mor-" Peach was in his face in an instant; speed of which would confuse Sonic.
"SIT." the world nearly shattered with her words. The color drained from Roy's face.
"Sir yes sir…"
-
Kirby swallowed the final civilian. This town he had travelled to was cleared out and not a soul remained. Though he hadn't quite found exactly what he was looking for. Sure, he needed to complete his ultimate goal, but his fury towards all things 'Smash' had left him with a great desire to finish off the remaining three Smashers. You see, the Pink Menace wasn't just eating people. He was keeping track of those he destroyed. A bounty. Then, and only then would he have satiated his long desire for revenge for his cake.
"POYO." Kirby closed his eyes. Where could they be? Sheik, Roy, and Princess Peach...They had to be somewhere nearby.
"POYO." he opened his eyes. Princess Peach was the key to all of this. She must be gathering an army. This was a win-win scenario. He could find her and consume the kingdom. Then he would have exacted punishment to the bad guys. He would be the hero of his own story.
"POYO." No more dawdling. It was time to eat the Mushroom Kingdom.
-
The recipe was completed. The only thing left that could be done was to wait. In just three more hours, the cake would be baked and only assembly would be left required. Peach proudly sat and waited in anticipation in her large and comfy chair. Roy was still sadly crouched in a stool in the corner. The silence was stifling. Roy cocked his head to the side and coughed into his hand.
"If you don't mind me asking (and aren't feeling particularly murderous), why does a cake need 5 hours to bake? That would make it so burnt that you could use it to kill someone." he asked. Peach turned her head and stared at him.
"Well, this is a very precise recipe. This cake is no ordinary cake. It is one that could appease even the deadliest of the gods. And it's also absolutely delicious! No mere mortal can stand to try the smallest of slices!" she said in a whisper. Just talking about it made her ecstatic.
"So I can't have any cake even after all this hard work?" he slumped. Peach shook her head.
"Roy, do you really want to eat Kirby's cake a second time?"
"I'm not the one who ate it the first time thank you!"
"Hush! Keep your voice down!" The princess held a finger against her lips. "Such a concoction can be disturbed by even a noise that is a touch too loud. I can't let my record of perfect cake be soiled because of your big mouth!"
Roy hushed his big mouth.
"Now, anyhoo, there is going to be quite some time before this cake finishes. If you can, think back to your last encounter with Kirby. Remember what we're dealing with." A quiet swept the room. The red-haired boy played with his fingers.
"Yeah, I can see it now. Watching my friends fall one-by-one was the most terrifying thing I've seen. And I've seen Ike's search history." he sighed.
"Then I need you to keep that image in your mind. It is extremely likely that you, Sheik and I are the only ones left of Smash. That is why you need to know that I am of utmost importance." The oven softly hummed along.
Roy scratched the back of his head. "Well, I mean I know you're a princess and all, but that seems a bit egocentric if you ask me…"
"It is not because I am a Princess Roy, but because I am the only one that can finish this cake. There is nothing more that you can help me with. That is why, should Kirby come bursting through those doors, I need you to protect me with your life until I finish this cake. Even if I am to be consumed...We will have our endgame set in motion." She seemed so fearless. Even the thought of being vanquished from the world instantly had no effect on her mindset. Roy really did respect her (when she wasn't holding a knife).
"I'll do what I can, but I don't even have a sword anymore. Fists certainly aren't my strong suit."
"I have the perfect solution!" Peach stood up (quietly) and pulled her parasol from behind herself. She nudged it in his direction.
"Uh, I think I'll just charge into Kirby's mouth."
"Don't be so callous! I've beat the stuffing out of things with this! Surely you can do it too; or would you rather have a demonstration?" she held it in the air.
"Wait wait wait! I'll take the umbrella thingie, alright? Jeez, I thought that princesses were supposed to be dainty…" He grabbed the umbrella thingie and looked at it like it was a foreign creature. This would be a long three hours.
Sheik leaned against the railing outside. There was at least 2 hours left before estimated bake times were over and the only company she had was a semi-literate lanky toad. He didn't seem to be bothered by the cold in the mountains and stood completely still in front of the entrance. This would be a long two hours, so she tried to make some small talk.
"So uh...You come around here often?" Her question fell on deaf ears. He wasn't even paying attention. "Actually, that was a bit of a rhetorical question. I know that you have never been here before. It's slightly funny due to the question sounding legitimate about a concept that is very likely to be abstract from realistic expectations. Feel free to clap." she said. Super Toad was either a stout wall, or he had been frozen solid. The lanky toad let out a small sneeze before resuming his unmoving position.
"..."
Sheik was just about done with this. "Alright that's it!" she jumped over the railing and in front of Super Toad so that she was looking eye to eye with him..
"..."
"You think you're so high and mighty, don't you? What, do you think you're better than me? Too good to acknowledge me? Think you're sooooooo cool because you have a name that's longer than a dictionary? Weeeeeeell guess what? I can make up stupid long names that don't make any sense too! Hey there, my name is Mr. Poopy Butt Dumb Ugly Farthead the Second and my favorite thing is to believe that I'm better than everyone else! Nice to meet you, Jedrek Maximus blah blah the tenth!" Her gaze was unchanging. There was less than a foot between the two. Super Toad looked at her before resuming his position, letting out another small sneeze.
Now that had done it.
Sheik punched him in the face. Before he could react, she jumped up and delivered a spinning kick to his shroomy head. Super Toad went straight to the floor. She grabbed his leg, pulled him over her head and slammed him on the ground. Again. And again. Finally, she stood him back up just to drop kick him straight into a snow pile. Only Super Toad's poor legs stuck out of the icy snow. Sheik huffed for a second before looking at him.
"Yeah, how about that huh? Not too good for me now? Keep an eye out for good ol Mr. Poopy Butt Dumb Ugly Farthead the Second next time." she dusted her hands off. Super Toad didn't move. Looking around as if someone was watching, she hid under an outside table and 'acted normal'. "Now that I think about it, maybe that was a bit of an overreaction. I should apologize."
Sheik had a big problem with sudden mood swings. She left the safety of her table and approached the snow pile with legs only moments after burying them.
"Hey there. I know I was just here a minute ago, but I wanted to say that that was probably a bit uncalled for. We cool?" she smirked. There was no response. Shrugging, she turned around. "Well if you're good, then I certainly am too-" The ice pile exploded into a bunch of pieces. Super Toad was on his feet at crazy speed. Sheik turned around, surprised at his response, but it looked like he had other plans. He slid underneath Sheik, almost making her fall. She caught herself quickly, but the lanky Toad slid under her again. This made her slip on the icy snow and she face planted in a fluffy bed of cold.
"Uff, hey what in the world has gotten into you-OH MY GOODNESS." She looked up to see that Super Toad had leapt 200 feet into the air. He turned himself upside down and his head was rapidly spinning like a missile towards the ground.
"HUARH!"
"AAAAAHHH!" Jedrek slammed into the ground and caused a huge impact on the area. They barely missed the resort and the area was engulfed by a huge puff cloud of white.
Peach hadn't bothered glancing in Roy's direction. They had been sitting here for quite some time when the ground began to shake. It was like an unnatural earth tremor, violently shaking pots and pans onto the floor. Roy's corner stool flipped onto the ground and he whomped his head on a metal rack.
"Gah! Ow! Princess, Kirby may be approaching! I don't know what else this quake could be!" he held his head in his arms. Though the room moved with great force, Peach was unshaken and continued to stare at the components baking in the oven.
"Then may he come. Our objective has been planned for this, so nothing has changed. Reinforcements are-" She was cut off by her walkie-talkie sounding out. The shaking off the room came to an eerie stop and the Ruler reached for her device. "This is your Commander; reporting back. I need a report. Over."
"Our army...they're all gone...We need to...r...u...n…" Milver's voice weakly responded. A helicopter's blades beat against the wind in the distance. Peach raised an eyebrow.
"Colonel Milver, I need clarification. Where is my militia? Has the fleet been arranged? Over." There was no response. Roy slowly picked himself up off of the ground.
"Maybe the earthquake destroyed the connection." he tried to reassure her. Peach wanted to say 'no', but having any type of excuse to ward off panic was better for them.
"That must have been the case. The time is drawing near. There is only an hour left. Do you still have the instructions given to you by Master Hand?" she asked. The humming of the oven became louder as the time drew near. Digging deep into his pockets, the red warrior found a crumpled piece of paper at the very bottom.
"Yep! I've kept it nice and safe!"
"There is one last task I ask of you," Princess Peach walked over to a drawer that was perched away from kitchen supplies. She retrieved something and quickly marched to him. "This is the only way to bring everyone back. Take these and follow the instructions as closely as possible. I'm going to begin setting up the layout for the finishing touches." 6 colored sticks fell to the countertop and she dashed off to get prepared. Roy uncrumpled the list and scanned it thoroughly.
'Make Kirby remember us. Only he can remind himself of the deeds he's committed when he reaches his full anger levels. If he can remember the good memories and the people that care about him, it just might be enough for him to spit us out once more. Draw him a card encompassing the overwhelming amount of love for our own Pink Puffball.' - Master Hand.
"Well, that's actually pretty sentimental." he glanced at the objects Peach had left him. "Oh you gotta be kidding me." 6 different colored crayons sat on the counter;excited to do their duty. "We're all gonna die!"
Super Toad landed on his feet, staring down at Sheik who was bracing for impact. His landing was very close to flattening Sheik, but he prevented it at the last second. He was still expressionless and walked away from the semi-cowering ninja to the edge of the icy platform. A helicopter spewing black smoke slowly approached the mountain. It's blades beat weakly as it lowered to the ground. Even at its weakest, snow kicked up at the speed of the blades. The machine gave a low hum as it shut down and roughly hit the ground. The front door opened and then fell off the helicopter, slapping the ground and tumbling into the depths of the snowy abyss. The sun slowly began setting as Colonel Milver stumbled from the seat and fell forwards into Super Toad's arms.
"Jedrek, they're all gone. Our people have succumbed. There is nothing left to fight for, son. We have failed. Get to the Princess and escape from this place before it's too-" the copter exploded suddenly and a menacing pink ball of fury jumped from the top.
"POYO."
"Run Jedrek Alexandre Maximillian Hombre Armani Jr. IV! I'll hold him off!" Milver shouted. He pushed Super Toad away and swung around to face Kirby with a pistol. "Take this you adorable demon!" Screaming, Milver dashed towards Kirby and was eaten instantly. The stagnant air broke into an atmosphere of gloom. Sheik snapped herself out of her temporary fear and leapt to her feet. Her and Kirby met eyes and he turned to her, ignoring Super Toad.
"POYO."
"Well well well, look who it is! You came all this way just for a piece of 'this', huh?" she popped her knuckles and bounced on the balls of her feet. "I'm more than you can handle Kirby. I'm not afraid of you or anyone!" she exclaimed. Super Toad, while laying in the snow, looked at her and pointed at himself.
"Huarh?" he sounded confused.
"No, I'm not afraid of you either! I was just under weird circumstances and my stomach was hurting and-"
"POYO." Kirby was done waiting. He pulled out Pit's bow and aimed an arrow at her. All of a sudden, she broke her fighting stance and began taunting him for some reason.
"You will never get this! You will never get this!" Quickly, she threw down a smoke bomb and disappeared. Kirby looked confused before he noticed an extremely quick shadow dash through the resort's window. He was getting used to reading Sheik's movements. But for now, there was a lanky looking Toad standing in his way. This was Super Toad's moment. His time to shine. Princess Peach's words echoed in his mushroomy head. 'Super Toad, you will keep watch and be sure to alarm us if the Pink Menace is spotted. Once he makes his way here, I want you to fight with every last bit of your strength to buy us as much time as possible. This is your ultimate duty.' His ultimate duty. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a remote with a big button. He pressed it once and threw it to the side. It was time to end this.
"HUARH!" In a flash, he dashed towards the Pink Menace. Kirby pulled Pit's bow to his front and blasted a volley of arrows towards this new interference. Jedrek jumped high into the air (not as high as before) and dove towards him with a kick. The Puffball blocked his attack with Link's shield and wrapped a hookshot around him. Super Toad was dragged to the ground and slammed helplessly in front of Kirby, leaving him wide open for a quick inhale. Before Kirby could swallow him whole, he drug his arm in through the snow and tossed a great heap of it into the puffball's mouth. The air around them paused as Kirby transformed into his Ice ability. With little time to spare, Super Toad launched a flurry of punch attacks against him. The Pink Menace was bombarded with blows until he froze himself into a block of solid ice. Still, the toad reared back and slammed his poor knuckles into the solid rock, making him jump back in pain from smashing his fingers.
"POYO!" He broke out of the ice and kicked Super Toad in the air. Switching between Snake and Zelda, he sent grenades and balls of fire up above with him, sounding three explosions and knocking the warrior into another pile of snow. Kirby was over this obstacle. He revealed Ganondorf's blade from his back and slammed it into the ground. A large cloud of white shot into the air as he vanished into the misty fog. Jedrek opened his eyes and looked around, attempting to locate the little beast. Remembering his training, he closed his eyes and felt the air around him. As a looming shadow blazed in front of him, a fireball shot from the left, an arrow sailed from the right, and a laser beamed from the front. He brought his leg back and ducked under the laser, quickly scooping up the arrow in his hand and throwing it through the fireball towards the shadow. The flames dispersed the mist, revealing a substitute dummy being struck in the forehead by his well-placed shot. His eyes narrowed as Kirby landed behind him with a flaming fist. He thrust forward a furious punch of burning rage, a falcon taking form amongst the impact. Jedrek's spine was crushed under the intense pressure of the blow, blasting him through a tree and onto the ground in yet another heap of snow. Without missing a beat, Kirby sped through the white while wearing Sonic's sneakers and gripped Super Toad with the strength of Donkey Kong. He was slammed onto the ground by the Pink Menace twice before being used as a battering ram against the front door of the lodge. The door flew off of its hinges, releasing a spring-lock trap that flung an iron net into his direction. The lanky toad was dropped to the ground as Kirby was tangled in the heavy metal net to the ground.
"Hu-arh…" the warrior could barely bring himself to his feet as Kirby struggled against the trap. Super Toad began to glow purple as he gained every last ounce of strength in his squishy head. He squatted down with his eyes closed before blasting towards the heavens. Sun and moon on both sides of him, he shone bright in the darkening sky as he began to speed towards the ground at tremendous speed.
"HAURH!" Jedrek's final warcry echoed against the snowy mountaintops. Kirby stood up against the net; it being slowly lifted from him by the power of Mewtwo's telekinesis. The puffball tangled the net up to be as dense as possible and launched it upwards to Super Toad at full force. The meteor Toad broke against the chain without effort and exploded into the ground. The getaway shook ferociously and nearby mountains kicked up avalanches from the force. A large crater formed into the ground and the entire area became a curtain of bright white fluff.
As the dust and snow cleared from the field, a glowing yellow monado raised into the air, dampening the blow from Super Toad's last ditch effort. The lanky warrior laid on his back in the crater as Kirby loomed above him. There were no more words to be spoken. He failed his duty and was inhaled just like the rest of them. Kirby's eyes closed before a mushroom appeared on his head; proof of his victory over Jedrek Alexandre Maximillian Hombre Armani Jr. IV. The new muscles in his face frowned downwards as his pure malice returned after the fight.
"POYO." The Pink Menace entered the lodge.
Roy was starting to panic. He could hear traps being set off left and right in the hallway and Peach was being very particular about how she was icing the cake.
"Princess, or your Highness, or whatever it is! General, is this really the time to be worried over straight lines!? Kirby is going to be here any minute now to kill both of us! Who knows what's already happened to Sheik and what's-his-face!?" Peach didn't even look at him before responding.
"I know better than anyone that a job is only truly done when the detailed work is noticeable. Do I need to remind you what's at stake if I get this wrong? I've already been forced to pull it out of the oven a little early, so this is no time to get sloppy!" She made another perfect circle with her icing piper. The way she so casually brushed off the events happening in earshot made Roy shake his fist.
"Mario, Samus, Cloud, Sheik; how many names do I need to bring up for you to realize that the details don't matter! If we don't get Kirby that cake now, he's going to trudge in here and take the both of us before we have a chance to make things ri-"
"Enough! This isn't about either of us!" Princess Toadstool had her eyes focused on him while still perfectly piping. "You do not get to vent about your weakness in my kitchen! Robin, Lucina, Ike, Marth; all these people fell victim to his malice right in front of your very eyes! You know that there is nothing that can stop him, yet still you refuse to understand." She lined cookies around the middle layer of the cake, making the icing pop and giving structure to the delicate dessert.
"I can't bear to sit here any longer when I think about the struggle that everyone has gone through." Roy looked down at his open hands. Peach shook her head without allowing her hair to touch the cake.
"And their efforts will not go in vain. You know that this is the only way to wake Kirby up even though you desperately want to be the one to bring back your friends. I'm sorry Roy, but the only way to not throw their pain away is to continue drawing with those crayons. It is one thing to watch those dear to you disappear and it's another thing for those people to be taken by another one who is precious, but nothing is worse than the feeling of dread that your trials aren't enough to honor them. Believe you me, I KNOW that it's hard to do, but you must push past your anger, sit down, and make a child's drawing!" Her intense words loomed in the air as Roy looked down at his piece of paper. It all seemed so silly to him that his friends went down fighting while he would go by just drawing a silly card. But Peach was right. He shook his head, letting the fire return to his eyes. This is your ultimate duty. The phrase held more power than it led on and Roy only realized it after hearing approaching footsteps to the kitchen door. There was no time to waste.
Minutes after receiving Super Toad's alarm, Sheik was sent flying through the double doors into the kitchen. She fell at Peach's feet while the Princess was lining cut strawberries around the edges of the cake. Kirby was standing before the doors with Dedede's hammer outstretched in one hand.
"POYO." he announced. Sheik drug herself to her feet while giving the puffball a death stare.
"You're getting better and better at reading my movements, but that doesn't mean anything! Even if you can see through stealth, just try to keep up with me!" She jumped off of a counter and bounced along the walls. She was nearly a flash; nothing but a line of speed around the kitchen. Peach tried her hardest to block out the events before her as she continued with chocolate drizzle. Sheik flew past her directly to Kirby and tackled him back into the hall. Roy leapt to his feet and barricaded the door with any items he could. He pushed equipment, chairs, dishes, and even the fridge into the way of the door. There was the sound of the Pink Menace changing into a new copy ability. The red-haired warrior pressed hard against the door as someone began to beat against it.
"Princess! How much longer!?" he cried out. With every smash of the door, he slowly lost his fight to keep it closed. A light shine dripped from his forehead and Peach quickly shaved almond bark onto the top layer.
"We're almost there Roy! Make every second coun-" the fist of Madama Butterfly exploded through the door. Roy was tossed back onto the floor the same way Sheik was before. Kirby's hair changed from Bayonetta's curls to Sheik's wraps and he pulled needles into both hands.
"No, Sheik! Not you too…" The two remaining smashers stared at him as he slowly marched forwards. His eyes darted between Roy and Peach, confirming that these were indeed the final two (aside from himself). Readying himself, he threw 5 needles directly towards Peach. Her eyes raised towards him and she stepped in front of the cake: protecting it with arms stretched out. Roy jumped in front of her with a pot lid and knocked them aside. Swiftly, he spun the lid towards Kirby and brandished Peach's parasol. "I got this! Finish what you started!"
"POYO." The puffball jumped over the lid and grabbed Robin's tome. He electrocuted Roy with a bolt of lightning and blasted Archfire on top of him. The parasol flew to the side and before the swordsman could react, he was lifted into the air with Samus's whip and slammed on the ground back and forth.
"Oof! Augh! Peach! Augh!" he was slammed over and over and over. "How-oof! Much-blagh! Long-ugh!" Kirby tossed him into the air, shot him with Joker's gun and then drug him across the ground with Ridley's powerful wings.
"I just need to get the chocolate Smash logo on the top!" She rushed to the fridge that was now on the ground while the sounds of Roy getting bodied echoed in the back. She pulled out a large round replica of the smash ball made of chocolate and jumped onto the counter. Delicately, she placed it into the mini fondant stand and it shone brightly in the light. After Kirby had his fun, he picked Roy up by the leg and started to inhale him. The red-haired boy clawed at the ground as he was helplessly pulled into the Puffball.
"I'll see you again Princess Peach! It was an honor saving the world with you! Everything should turn out al'write'!" Sick of that joke, the Pink Menace finally swallowed Roy and his hair turned red and he pulled out his Binding Blade.
"I can't believe it, it's done!" The General stumbled back in amazement to her creation. A beautiful seven layered cake stood before her, the immaculate decorations hanging from every surface. Her life's work was complete and this was her greatest achievement. Kirby seemed uninterested, desiring to only consume the last of Super Smash bros. As he faced Peach with a sword outstretched, she leaned against the wall in sheer euphoria and let loud laughs escape her mouth.
"POYO."
"It's gorgeous! This will be everything you have ever dreamed of Kirby! Sure you can't see it now, but momentarily, your jaw will drop and you won't be able to help but salivate! And it's all for you. Thank you Kirby for being my driving force behind this project. Despite the pressure, it has turned out far better than my previous attempts." tears of joy ran down her face. Kirby was getting even closer without breaking his furious stare. "I can see that the time for this charade to end is at hand. With me gone, you will have succeeded Kirby. Your long quest of anger is finally finishing. You must be very hungry." She stood up over him. Kirby opened his mouth to inhale her, but she grabbed him with both arms and hugged him tightly. "We forgive you." she said sweetly, her final words. The Pink Menace pulled from her grip and finished her off. The red hair that he had acquired moments before turned into long golden locks.
"POYO." All of a sudden, he noticed the beautiful cake sitting on the counter. The air smelled of vanilla and strawberry and Kirby couldn't help but indulge. With his brow still lowered, he took a large chunk out of the cake. The flavor hit his tongue like a truck and he was wrapped in a world of love and happiness. It was absolutely delightful! Every ingredient integrated into the dessert was otherworldly and he quickly jumped onto the cake, taking it all into his grasp. Only minutes had gone by before the cake was nor more. The red in Kirby's eyes had cleared and the mysterious muscles in his face to help him frown retreated. The puffball patted himself and let out a delighted sigh, getting ready for a wonderful nap. Before he fell asleep, however, a lonely piece of paper floated down on the floor before him.
"Poyo…?" the Pink Puffball glanced at it before picking it up. Strangely, he felt sad. Dreadful as a matter of fact, like he had done something bad that he couldn't recall. The paper fell from his hands and onto the floor. It showed the faces of several different smashers with a 'We love you Kirby! Give us a big hug!' smack dab in the middle. Kirby couldn't help but miss all of his new family and he closed his eyes to think deeply. Several minutes passed until an hour ticked by on the kitchen clock. Finally, Kirby opened his mouth and spat out every single person he had inhaled in the past day onto the ground. From smashers to the Mushroom Kingdom's Toad army, the room slowly began to fill up with familiar faces. Master Hand and Crazy Hand were spat out as well and they were sent floating through the air. Random civilians were also brought back into the world and it became hard to tell who was a stranger and who was a friend. Master Hand was the first to snap back to his senses and he shook himself awake to find Kirby spewing out people left and right.
"Kirby! You've come back to us! We were successful all along!" the hand boomed. The sheer amount of people began to stack up into a large pile. "Oh my...I'd better get everyone back to where they once were or someone could suffocate. Crazy, wake up!" At the mention of his name, Crazy Hand jumped up frantically.
"Woah bro! We're back! Why didn't you tell me that this ball of cotton candy was so strong?" he pointed an oversized finger towards the puffball, who was still spitting out people.
"I've had multiple billboards built in order to talk about-oh nevermind! Crazy, target half of the people in this room and meet me back at the mansion. I'll take Kirby and the other half. There's too many people in here." The hand glowed yellow as well as half of the people in the room. The other half glowed blue as Crazy extended his invisible grip.
"Sure thing bro! Still, this whole catastrophe could have been avoided if you bothered to inform your Smashers on the consequences!" he spoke as happy as can be. Master Hand frowned (at least he would have if he had a face).
"Crazy, that is the only time I've ever heard you use a word longer than 5 letters and it was just to insult me." he teleported away and Crazy Hand did the same.
After a lot of work, Master Hand and Crazy Hand managed to restore the mansion and all non-smashers/staff back to their residential abodes. Normally, it could have been dangerous to modify the mansion while people were still inside and they would hire construction crews to fix any damages (the smashers were very destructive and fought often). A tired Kirby happily rested in Rosalina's arms. The wait outside was over and all the chitter-chatter came to a hush as the mansion was finished.
"Alright everyone," Master Hand started. "It is very late and I'm certain all of you are ready for some well earned rest. We will have an emergency assembly bright and early in the morning at 10:00 sharp. We will review some key rules and regulations as well as things to look out for in the future. Until then, get some rest and I'll sort out the matter of any missing belongings in the morning." Slowly, the weary smashers and staff began shuffling into the mansion under the moonlight. Master Hand turned to them and pointed a finger. "One last thing, Roy, Sheik, Peach, and Ike are to report to my office immediately. This will not take long." Ike looked up and shrugged.
"This can totally wait until the morning right? I'm beat." he gave a big stretch.
"No. Upstairs. Now." he and Crazy disappeared and Ike sighed, meeting up with Sheik, Peach, and Roy. They all headed down the long hall and around the corner to Master Hand's large office.
"Sure does suck to lose a whole day over this conundrum. Roy, didn't we have plans to do something before?" Ike asked him. Roy scratched his head, but wasn't able to recall anything.
"I can't exactly remember. There's been a lot on my mind, like the end of the entire world. Maybe I'll remember tomorrow." The massive doors to the office were already open and Master Hand was patiently floating above his desk. The four smashers took a seat and the Hand began his rant.
"Alright, I know you're tired, so I'll be quick. First things first-" He laid something onto his desk wrapped in cloth and he pushed forward three golden plaques and three shining medals. "Roy, I have taken the liberty of crafting you an exact replica of your sword. Be sure to take more care of it this time. Other than that, I cannot be more proud of the three of you for taking care of this issue. Not only have you protected all of Smash Bros, but the entire world. Who knows how far Kirby would have gone to satisfy his uncharacteristic fury. You were the last defense of the planet and I will be sure to make it known of your heroic deeds today." He slid the awards to Peach, Sheik, and Roy. Ike coughed and pointed at another plaque and medal off to the side.
"Hey Master Hand, you forgot mine over there."
"Oh trust me Ike, I haven't forgotten about you one bit. That award goes to a very peculiar Toad. I don't quite recall his name, but I know that he was a great aid to our heroes today. Ike, I've heard about how all of this happened and I know that you are the main source of the near destruction of the world." He pulled out his humongous book of rules and flipped to the final page once more. "This is by far the most important rule in my list of rules and regulations and I need to be certain that you understand not to break it again. As of this day, you are hereby banned from all public events, leisure activities, smash commodities, and the Smash Tournament until you deliver a 10 page paper full of the words, 'Don't steal cake.' Once you have done this, we will talk more about your next punishment." Ike nearly fell out of his chair.
"Pfft-EVERYTHING!? But Master Hand, I have 4 tournament matches over the next three days! What about K. K. Slider's upcoming concert? I've been planning to go with Robin and Luigi for weeks!" he begged. Roy shot up in his seat and slammed his hand down.
"Bro, you didn't tell me there was a concert coming! You would have just gone without me!?" Sweat beaded off of Ike's face as he scratched his head.
"Oh, uh...I was definitely planning on telling you...eventually…" he chuckled nervously. Master Hand looked between the two of them.
"Well Roy, now it looks like you get to be the one to leave Ike behind. Ike, unless I have that essay on my desk anytime soon, you're missing out on that concert and your matches. I'll deposit the revenue from the matches into your opponents account the very day I don't have your written understanding. Oh, and use this-" He turned around to retrieve something and dropped it onto his desk. "This typewriter should be sure to keep you from copying and pasting over and over." Ike slumped into his seat. "As far as right now, I'm going to let you four go tonight. The meeting tomorrow is mandatory and if anyone misses it, they'll write me a 2 page essay saying, 'Assemblies are important'. I hope you all have a wonderful night. Try to get some rest. And Ike…" the smasher looked up. "You owe Roy 100 dollars."
With Roy's wallet fuller and Ike's head hung low, the four began up the stairs to their rooms. Roy had stopped Peach in the hall after Ike and Sheik departed.
"Say Princess, did you still want me to call you General? I know Milver was rather snippety about his ranks…" he ran a hand through his hair. Peach shook her head and smiled.
"Nope! As a matter of fact, forget absolutely everything you know or remember about Code Pink and my military. As far as you know, I'm just a dainty princess who loves gardening and knows a thing or two about baking!" She winked and stuck her tongue out, skipping down the hall and leaving Roy alone. Relieved, he marched up more stairs to a room of his own. Finally strutting inside, instead of hopping onto his bed or taking a shower, the smasher sat at his desk and pulled out a pen and paper. After such a long day, he decided to give Robin's new hobby a shot of his own.
"We behold a beautiful sky,
To this fact, we cannot lie.
Both friends and foes,
And lanky Toads,
Can bond in the blink of an eye."
"But when the sky goes red,
And malice and hatred spread,
We will stand together,
Love each other forever,
And leave laughs in our stead."
Now that the smashers are done getting into trouble this time around, I would like to congratulate you for making it this far. It certainly does mean something to see people enjoying the silly stuff I daydream from time to time. Feel free to leave a positive review if you liked it! Have any comments, concerns or criticisms? Use that pretty little white box below! (I've seriously gotta stop flirting with that box). Just wanted to say hi? Well drop a howdy in a review! Want to see more or have some neato ideas for a one shot? Let me know and I'll certainly get back to you on it! I've got a couple other one-shots (that are definitely shorter than this) that share the same type of family-friendly comedic style, or check out some of my less tame projects. Other than that, have a wonderful rest of your day/evening, and I will see you probably never! Buh-bye!
that is, if you made it this far of course.