i had a horrible day too, i stepped in a puddle and my shoe got wet, Helena's text read, her response to Hunnigan's lament about having had a generally shitty day.
I will send a crisis response team immediately, Hunnigan wrote back and chuckled. They exchanged a few more messages, in which Hunnigan assured she was okay, just inconvenienced, and Helena promised she'd be home by dinner tonight.
Hunnigan smiled at that. It had, sadly, become a relatively rare thing recently to have dinner with Helena because she was eagerly taking all the shifts she was offered at work, and when she wasn't working, she was studying, or sleeping. Hunnigan had intervened to the best of her ability, reminding Helena that she needed rest as much as she needed to work and study, reminding her that burning herself out wouldn't serve anyone. It always worked for a little bit, but Helena eventually seemed to forget and reset to the insane pace.
After her appointment at the dentist's, Hunnigan made her way to the DSO headquarters to meet with Shepard. She was running a little late and that was the tardy dentist's fault; but at least he'd done a good job of fixing her tooth, so she was willing to forgive him for delaying her.
Hunnigan was still going back and forth in her mind about the decision she was about to make. Resigning made the most sense considering she'd lost most of her faith in her work, and contrary to what anyone might've thought, this wasn't a job one could do if they had no faith in it. On the other hand, she was also contemplating staying on just out of spite, because she knew that Skylark would go on thinking she'd managed to win, that she'd managed to outlast Hunnigan; she was willing to admit she was petty enough to stay just to show Skylark that wasn't the case. That said, when Shepard had called her in for a meeting, he hadn't specified the details, could be he intended to fire her and what Hunnigan wanted regarding it didn't matter.
When she sat down with Shepard, Hunnigan opened the conversation by informing him that Ada Wong had approached her recently with a job offer. His eyebrows rose at that, but he didn't seem as surprised as he was trying to come across. That didn't really surprise Hunnigan; she'd presumed he'd put her under at least some form of surveillance, she presumed he knew of anything significant she'd been up to since her suspension.
"Well...I assume you turned her down," Shepard spoke after a few seconds of silence.
"Would you believe me if I told you I wasn't even tempted?"
"If you were anyone else, I wouldn't, but I know you, and I believe you."
"I suppose I should thank you."
"For what?" Shepard asked, his eyebrows now lowering into a slight frown.
"For your good word. For trusting me. I don't know if I've ever thanked you for that, specifically. So, thank you for your faith."
"You're welcome."
"That said...and even at the risk of appearing ungrateful, I have seriously considered resigning."
"But, why?"
"Because I lost my faith. I can't destroy The Family, or Umbrella, or Neo-Umbrella, or any other villainous group that pops up like mushrooms after rain. I've been at this for most of my life and I feel like I've barely made a difference. What's it all for if the men whose illegal actions and secret policies that are behind all the crimes we investigate remain beyond prosecution and punishment?" Hunnigan asked and Shepard drew a breath, once, twice, as if he would've liked to say something but couldn't quite come up with the words.
"So, what are you saying?" he finally asked.
"I think you know what I'm saying," Hunnigan sighed. A part of her waited for him to come out and say it, because she didn't want to do it herself. Once again, she couldn't bring herself to cut the cord. The DSO was a part of her, and despite everything, she couldn't bring herself to leave it. If Shepard told her she was no longer welcome, she would have no other choice, and she would go, but she couldn't be the one to initiate it.
"And I think you know the old adage; all it takes for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing."
"That's just it, John. For as long as I've been here, I have done everything in my power, everything, and still everywhere I look, evil prospers. Either I'm fighting a war that cannot be won, or I'm not good enough."
"So, that's it, you're giving up?"
"I don't know. I'm just...so tired of this. Aren't you?"
"I used to be, but I learned to separate my work from who I am. I think that's a lesson you still have to learn. Stop taking it home with you."
"If it were that simple, don't you think I would already be doing that?" Hunnigan scoffed, and he chuckled.
"The first steps are easy enough, get a separate phone and laptop for agency business, and leave them at the office at the end of the day. Then focus on getting rid of that gnawing feeling of needing to work and the anxiety and stress that follows realizing you can't. Not saying it's easy or fun, but it is worth it."
Hunnigan sighed and without thinking about it, ran her tongue repeatedly over the freshly patched up tooth as she contemplated his words. She'd gotten so used to brushing off the comments about her alleged workaholism that she hadn't ever really taken them seriously or stopped to think why it was so important to her to be available and aware of everything all the time. What did she gain from burning her candle at both ends? What was she avoiding by rather shifting her attention to her work, as unpleasant as her work could be at times?
She had no answers, not anymore. Perhaps in the past she'd used work as an excuse to avoid having to deal with her mother who didn't seem to accept a simple "no" without any justification when Hunnigan kept telling her she had no intention of getting married and having children. And since a simple no wasn't an option, she'd made it so that she could honestly say she had no time for family. After that, she'd used work as an excuse to avoid Major because she'd worried he would propose. After marrying him, she'd used work to avoid going home where she would be at risk of having to have a serious conversation with her husband about their shared future.
She still felt bad for Major, she knew she'd been unfair toward him. He was a bit boring perhaps but he was also a true rarity; a genuinely good man, and he had deserved better than a wife who was so dispassionate about him. She took some comfort in the fact that they'd realized to go their separate ways eventually rather than stubbornly remain together out of some ancient sense of duty to the institution, or because they'd found out they were having a child.
Hunnigan didn't know what it was that she was supposedly avoiding now, she had no reason to avoid going home, on the contrary. Perhaps it was simply a matter of it having become a habit over the years.
"So, since you're telling me all this, am I to assume you have completed your investigation of me?" Hunnigan asked, and Shepard smiled.
"Indeed, and it seems that the results of my very thorough investigation were inconclusive. There is no evidence to justify implicating you in treason."
"That's it? Just like that?" Hunnigan scoffed in disbelief, and Shepard shook his head.
"No, it's not as simple as that as far as your reputation goes, but you're not under investigation anymore."
"Great, what do I have to look forward to, then? Seeing as it appears I no longer enjoy the trust of the agency, I guess this means I can at least resign honorably."
"Not what I had in mind, either," Shepard smiled.
"Elaborate," Hunnigan frowned.
"Well, it's common knowledge that the so-called conspiracy of field agents lobbying to have you fired starts and ends with agent Skylark. As loud as she is, she represents a small minority."
"You and I both know that when it comes to matters like this, all it takes is one loud voice of opposition."
"Yes, so why not just give her what she wants, eh? Is that the precedent we want to set? If you don't like someone you work with, just start a witch hunt to get rid of them?"
"No, of course not," Hunnigan snapped, and considering how angry she got just at the thought of giving in only to satisfy Skylark's demands, Hunnigan admitted that perhaps she did care a bit more than she had previously thought.
"My thoughts exactly, it's not the kind of behavior I would like to reward."
"Okay, to be fair...she had something to back up her claims with, I assume? Or did you start this whole charade just because she accused me of being a witch?"
"Yes and no. She provided a few surveillance photos of you meeting with Ada Wong, supposedly sent to her by an anonymous source."
"Namely, Ada herself as she made sure she could blackmail me into leaving her out from any of my future investigations," Hunnigan muttered. The effort Ada had put into ensuring Hunnigan would stop investigating her spoke volumes of how worried Ada had to be; if she was willing to go this far it must've meant Hunnigan was getting close to something big. Either that, or she'd attempted to ruin Hunnigan's career to soften her up so that she'd eagerly accept Ada's offer of work.
"I thought along those lines, too," Shepard nodded. "But the rest of her accusations and blame shifting were just that, Skylark's own inability to admit she'd made mistakes. As far as her attitude problem goes, it's common knowledge that in these situations she is the common denominator, you're not the only one she's clashed with."
"So, what am I doing? What are you telling me?" Hunnigan cut to the chase.
"I want you to move up to deputy assistant director. You would be in charge of planning, executing, and supervising active campaigns, under my direction. You would oversee the field operations support, and assist in picking a successor because we will need another head of FOS if you accept. I've already cleared it with my superiors, the job is yours if you want it," Shepard said.
"What? Are you serious? You actually want to promote me? Now, is that the precedent you want to set either? I won't deny it would be very satisfying to see the look on Skylark's face when she heard that her efforts to get me fired resulted in getting me promoted, but I doubt she'd just silently accept that, she'd question your decision and challenge it."
"Yes, she would, and I'd welcome the scrutiny, it would only serve to prove I'm right and she's wrong. The main reason I actually did investigate you thoroughly was because I was looking to make sure it would be safe to promote you. Had it been up to me, I would've promoted you long ago, but then Tall Oaks happened, and things got complicated. But, as I said, the investigation didn't find you responsible for anything questionable. The fact that you came in here and told me about meeting with Ada only reaffirms my faith in you," Shepard said.
"You know I'm not as clean as we like to pretend," Hunnigan reminded him in a mutter and he let out an amused scoff.
"None of us are, that's why we're here. It's no secret that the DSO is considered a safe haven for military and law enforcement rejects, our more upstanding colleagues at our fellow government agencies like to think of us as the honorless rogues they can sic on the problems they don't want to handle because it would risk them breaking a nail, whereas we're not afraid of getting our hands dirty if the situation calls for it. The DSO doesn't need a squeaky clean director, it needs someone who has proven they can make the tough decisions and take risks when it's necessary."
"So...if I take this job...what will you be doing?"
"I will still be here and you'll report to me, but you taking over will free me to focus more on the external things, such as public relations, fundraising, partnerships, coordinating with the BSAA, TerraSave, CDC, FBI, what-have-you."
"Before I say more, I should mention I'm certain Ada has me under some level of surveillance, she's made it clear she knows my comings and goings too well for it to be a series of incredible coincidences. I've taken some counter-surveillance measures, but I doubt they are enough," Hunnigan said, and Shepard nodded.
"Do you need to be relocated?"
"I would rather not do that if possible, especially since there is no guarantee it will even work."
"We'll get it sorted either way, don't worry about it. So, what do you say?"
"Can I take some time to think about it?"
"Of course," Shepard nodded. "I'll email you more of the details so you can read up on them before deciding anything."
"That works for me, thanks," Hunnigan said and exited his office shortly after since their business was now concluded for the day. Making her way toward the elevators, Hunnigan ran into Leon and Hawke who were having a chat.
"Have I ever told you I find women with facial scars attractive?" Leon asked and Hunnigan realized he had missed out on quite a lot of things during his lengthy furlough, like how and why Hawke nowadays had a very noticeable scar running across the bridge of her nose.
"Have I ever told you I find men physically and morally repulsive?" Hawke asked him in return, and Hunnigan snorted. Leon thankfully had the common sense to drop the subject and rather turned his attention to Hunnigan.
"Hey, you!" he greeted her happily and hugged her, the leather of his jacket creaking as he wrapped his arms around her.
"Hey you to you too," Hunnigan chuckled against his shoulder as she hugged him back. "Did you and Claire have a good time?" she asked, slowly pulling back then.
Leon went on to tell her and Hawke about the motorcycle trip across several states, showed pictures taken at various landmarks and points of interest, talked about the most memorable foods he'd tasted, and how he'd been certain he'd need to have his stomach pumped repeatedly after overeating so much while they'd been making their way through Texas.
"We had a great time," he concluded.
"I'm glad to hear that," Hunnigan smiled.
"So, what did I miss while I was away?" Leon then asked, and Hunnigan blew out a breath as she counted the things that had happened in the past few months. Hawke had, thankfully, already caught him up on anything work-related he should be aware of, and Hunnigan didn't want to ruin the rest of her day by bringing up Ada Wong and her run-ins with the spy. He knew about Dulvey and that was all he needed to know.
"Helena quit and is now thinking of pursuing a career in medicine, and...I think that's about it," Hunnigan finished listing things.
"Really? I mean, I'm not surprised she quit, but medicine—no, actually, that makes sense, she was a medic in the army, unless I remember that wrong," Leon commented, and Hunnigan nodded.
"Aren't you forgetting something?" Hawke quirked an eyebrow and Hunnigan frowned, genuinely not knowing what she was referring to.
"What?" she finally asked, and Hawke gave a hard stare at the ring on Hunnigan's finger. "Oh! Yeah, Helena and I got married."
"And I wasn't invited to the wedding? Now I'm hurt."
"There was no wedding, we just signed some papers at city hall," Hunnigan said.
"Well, I'd expect that from you, but I had Helena pegged as someone who's had a wedding-themed scrapbook since she was a kid."
"Seriously? Are we talking about the same Helena?" Hawke commented with a disbelieving laugh.
"Anyone who is that tough on the outside is a squishy romantic marshmallow on the inside, that's just a scientific fact," Leon said, and Hunnigan had to nod in agreement, because despite her hot-headedness and remarkably hard exterior, Helena had the kindest soul if you were lucky enough to win her trust and thus earn the right to see that.
With the talk about a wedding, Hunnigan realized she had never asked Helena if she wanted a proper wedding. At the time they'd agreed that a quick marriage at the city hall was the best and easiest way to handle it because they'd kind of been in a hurry, but nothing was stopping them from having a ceremony and a reception later. Helena hadn't said anything about wanting one, but she wasn't the type who felt comfortable asking for something for herself, that much had become clear.
"Well, maybe we'll have a celebration of some kind later since we never did originally, and you will be invited," Hunnigan told him.
"Will there be an open bar?"
"Leon, just for you and because you're on the guestlist, there will absolutely not be an open bar," Hunnigan promised.
"That's fair," he laughed.
"What are you doing?" Helena asked upon entering the kitchen. She had grown rather used to walking on Hunnigan and Seeley cooking together, he seemed to enjoy helping, and Hunnigan seemed to enjoy trying out new recipes, or creating the more complicated ones, when he was working as her little helper. And, amazingly, he wasn't terrible at helping her either, sometimes Helena was certain that kid was more efficient as a sous-chef than Helena was.
"Is that a caulking gun?" she then frowned when she saw the item Hunnigan was holding.
"A what?" Hunnigan looked up, and pushed her glasses back up her nose using the back of her index finger, a simple little mannerism Helena found oddly endearing for reasons she couldn't quite express. There was nothing unusual about it, anyone wearing glasses and needing to adjust them while their hands weren't clean would do the same, but since she hadn't seen anyone else do it, to Helena, that little movement was something uniquely Hunnigan and therefore endearing.
"A gun you use to squeeze out caulk from a tube when you're sealing gaps," Helena elaborated.
"I don't know anything about caulking, this is a jerky gun," Hunnigan said and held it up. It looked exactly like a caulking gun, except where the tube of caulk would go was a hollow shaft containing a mass of tightly packed ground meat.
"How do you not know what caulking gun is, what kind of a lesbian are you?" Helena teased, choosing to only mouth the word "lesbian" because she wasn't sure if Seeley knew what a lesbian was, and in case he didn't, she didn't want him to ask what it meant and have Hunnigan force her to explain it.
Frankly, she wasn't sure what exactly Seeley thought of her and his mother's relationship, they'd never had a conversation about it beyond Hunnigan sitting him down and explaining that Helena would be living with them. He'd had no questions or objections then, and he hadn't brought it up later either, Helena could only assume he hadn't thought twice about it.
Maybe I overthink it because I'm projecting my own issues onto him again, Helena mused and recalled the time she'd thought it was weird how okay Hunnigan was with the fact that Seeley routinely climbed into their bed after waking up too early, and the little boy clad in his My Little Pony- pajamas cuddling up with his mother who slept naked had made Helena pause. When she'd mentioned it to Hunnigan, she'd asked Helena to explain why she found it strange, and doing that had made Helena realize exactly why it wouldn't be weird for Seeley.
He was a kid who had not learned to sexualize absolutely everything (and hopefully never would but Helena doubted they'd be that lucky) the way most adults had, the way Helena had. To him, a pair of breasts was nothing but a source of food, a naked woman a representation of his mother, in other words a source of warmth and comfort. In short, he wasn't the problem, Hunnigan wasn't the problem, nudity wasn't the problem; Helena and her own assumptions were the problem. Perhaps it was the case here too, perhaps Seeley knew what a lesbian was better than Helena had known even as a teenager.
"I'm not a lesbian, I'm bi. And I've never done a hard day's work in my life, how am I supposed to know tools," Hunnigan answered Helena's question with a smirk. "How do you know what a caulking gun is, you're not that butch," she then added.
"Well, our neighbor Tommy and his brother had a construction company, and he offered me a summer job when I was old enough, so I spent a few summers as a construction laborer, and in addition to hauling debris around, I was in charge of setting up the tools, so I kinda had to learn what's what," Helena explained.
"Sorry, I stopped listening and started picturing you in a hard-hat and wearing a toolbelt," Hunnigan shook her head.
"What is bi?" Seeley asked, looking up at his mother, and Helena snorted.
"Well, remember when you asked what a lesbian is and I told you a lesbian is a girl who only likes other girls?"
"Like gramma Cheryl and Pam," Seeley nodded, and Helena felt her eyebrow twitch at that, she'd had no idea Major had two moms. But then again, why would she have known, it was hardly any of her business.
"Right, well, bi is someone who likes girls and boys," Hunnigan explained, and Helena didn't think she'd ever understand how Hunnigan managed to have frank conversations like that with a child with such ease. Perhaps it was a question of not underestimating the kid's intelligence, and not fearing having to answer follow-up questions if something the child didn't understand did come up.
Helena dreaded the day Seeley would ask her something awkward like the classic, where do babies come from. Short answer she had prepared was simply "from mommies" but Seeley was a clever kid, he'd want to know how the baby got into mommy, and Helena didn't want to have to explain that. Of course, she knew it wasn't her responsibility to do so, and knew that Hunnigan would take over if the situation ever came up, but still.
And you think you could handle being a parent yourself when you can't even imagine answering a simple question? I did you a favor when I took your choice away, Sergeant Good's voice whispered, and Helena wondered if the bitch's ghost would ever stop haunting her.
"I like boys and I like girls, am I bi too?" Seeley asked, and Helena had to pinch her lips shut tight to keep from laughing.
"Well, honey, no, I don't think you mean it in the same way as I do," Hunnigan said. "...I certainly hope you don't have any reason to yet," she added under her breath.
"How do I mean it?"
"You mean you are friends with boys and girls, right?"
"Uh-huh!" Seeley confirmed.
"Okay, well, when I say I like boys and girls I don't mean just friends."
"I don't get it."
"You don't have to," Hunnigan chuckled and pressed a kiss onto the top of his head.
"Are you bi?" Seeley then asked Helena.
"Uhhhmmm—no. I'm like your grandmas."
"Just say lesbian, it's not a dirty word," Hunnigan smirked.
"Right. I only like girls. Specifically, I like your mom," Helena said.
"That's nice," Seeley said nonchalantly, nodding his head before turning his attention back to the task at hand, namely he stretched out his arms, silently requesting to get to hold the jerky-gun, and with that, the conversation was apparently over.
"So, what inspired this?" Helena asked as Hunnigan held the jerky gun so that Seeley could use both his hands to squeeze down on the trigger and extrude meat through the nozzle and onto a rack.
"Just wanted to do something different," Hunnigan shrugged. "Plus, I figured these would go great in a wrap, makes for a quick and easy lunch for you tomorrow."
"Sounds amazing."
"I'm bored now, can I go?" Seeley asked once the rack had been filled with a neat row of meat.
"Wash your hands," Hunnigan told him, and he did so before running off to his room.
"I guess I should've made this a lesson about finishing what you start, but technically, he did finish one row, so he stuck with this longer than I honestly expected him to," she then said as she put the tray into the oven and left the door ajar.
"Any other kid probably would've settled for Play-Doh rather than actually cook, so I was already impressed," Helena commented and followed Hunnigan into the living room.
"How do you do that, how do you talk to Seeley so frankly?" she then asked as she took a seat on the couch.
"You make it sound like it's a choice, it's not, I just don't know how to talk to kids," Hunnigan laughed and switched the TV on for some background noise.
"I never realized that was an option."
"It's an option," Hunnigan nodded.
"How was the rest of your day?" Helena inquired then, leaned back and lifted her feet into Hunnigan's lap.
"It got better," Hunnigan said, and Helena smiled when she began softly kneading the soles and sides of Helena's feet without even needing to be asked. She told Helena about her meeting with Shepard and all the details around it.
"That's great news! Right?"
"I guess. I mean, I kinda got used to not having to go to the office..."
"No you didn't," Helena interjected.
"No I didn't," Hunnigan agreed with a chuckle.
"So, have you decided what you're gonna tell Shepard?" Helena asked and sat up, gestured for Hunnigan to turn and she did, allowing Helena to return the favor and give her neck and shoulders a massage.
"I don't know, I was thinking I'd just be a doctor's wife. According to a ton of movies and TV-shows that's a career path to pursue," Hunnigan said.
"Sure, but that means you will have to iron my shirts."
"Don't doctors wear those white coats all the time anyway, no one would even see your crinkly shirts."
"Are you saying I don't deserve ironed shirts?"
"Sure you do, just not ironed by me," Hunnigan said, and they laughed.
"What about Ada? Did you tell Shepard about her?"
"Yes, and he offered to relocate me, but that's a waste of time and resources. Besides, I'm pretty sure Ada's already gotten everything she could possibly get from me, so if she wants to waste her time spying on me, let her."
"You're not worried she'll come after your son?"
"Why would she do that?"
"I don't know. Why does she do anything," Helena shrugged.
"I think if going after someone else to get to me would be something she'd do, she would've at least threatened me with it by now, I don't think it's her style, she prefers bothering me directly."
"I guess you're right."
"Helena..."
"Yes, my love?"
"Do you want to have a proper wedding?" Hunnigan asked and Helena stopped abruptly as she was stunned by the question.
"I had never thought about it," she said after a moment of silence, and Hunnigan turned to face her.
"So you didn't spend your childhood imagining being a bride?"
"You're joking, right? Literally never," Helena laughed. "What's brought this on?" she then asked and Hunnigan told her about the conversation she'd had with Leon earlier regarding the subject.
"If you want to have a party to celebrate the fact that we're married, I'm down with that, but I don't want a grand wedding ceremony. You know how I feel about public romantic gestures, what's a wedding if not that," Helena smiled.
"You're right, I'd embarrass you with my cheesy wedding vows in front of all our friends and family, which is, like, five people."
"Do you want a wedding, then?"
"No, I've already had one and it was a lot of stress for little reward; it's supposed to be 'my day' but I'm also the one who has to put everything together, no thanks."
"Well, I would help you do all that for our wedding."
"So you do want a wedding?"
"No."
"...then why are we still talking about it?"
"I don't know," Helena laughed. "No wedding ceremony, but perhaps a little celebration with friends and family, just a few drinks and quiet conversation, you know, that kind of stuff."
"Sounds good to me."