This Is Why We Get Along So Well

by Patriceavril

"Thanks, Evans," Sirius said, taking another sip from the flask before passing it across to her. "Did you mean that? About being scared, I mean?" She took a swallow of firewhisky and nodded. "Course I did. Why do you think I'm not dating James yet? It's okay to be scared. It's perfectly normal. Having feelings for someone, putting yourself out there, being in a relationship - that

6. Don't tell me what to do, James Potter

Saturday, September 10, 1977

"Tell me again why we're bringing irresponsible amounts of firewhisky and a day's supply of food down to the Quidditch pitch?" Mary asked as she adjusted the bulging bag slung over her shoulder, careful not to crush the biscuits, crisps, and sandwiches they had taken from the kitchens earlier.

"Why is this so hard to understand?" Sirius asked. "We are going to watch Quidditch tryouts, and we are turning it into a drinking game. It's tradition." He gestured at his own bag which clinked as he walked. "We almost ran out of alcohol last year, so I wanted to be prepared."

"Technically it's not really a tradition," James pointed out. "Last year was the first time you did it. I don't think you can call it a tradition until you've done it at least twice."

Dressed in his Quidditch gear with his lucky whistle around his neck, James moved at a brisk pace, eager to reach the pitch and begin the tryouts. Without a full team, he couldn't plan for the upcoming season, and this gave him an unsettled feeling that drove him mad. He would not feel whole until he filled the vacancies on his team, even if the new recruits needed extensive training. After all, if anyone enjoyed a challenge, it was James Potter.

"Technically you're a tosser," Sirius said with a shrug.

"But why do we need so much food?" Mary persisted. "How long can tryouts actually take?"

"Well, last year there was only one open position, and it took - Merlin, it felt like hours," Remus replied. "But I dunno if my memory is reliable. We were all pretty drunk."

"Well, there were a bunch of people trying out," Peter said. "And right away he made them all run-"

"You made them run?" Lily interrupted, horrified. "That's just cruel, James. What does it matter if they can run? They're going to be on a broom!"

Sirius groaned. "Evans, do you realize what you've done? Now he's going to bang on for the next hour about how running is an essential part of Quidditch training!"

"Oh, shut up, Padfoot, she asked," James shot back before turning to Lily. "So first of all what you've got to understand is riding a broom isn't as easy as it looks. You need a lot of core strength, not to mention stamina, because you never know how long you'll be flying…"

By the time they reached the pitch James was still expounding on the connection between long distance running and prolonged flying, but he was forced to abridge his explanation and join his teammates while everyone else settled on the bleachers to unpack the provisions.

"So here are the rules," Sirius said, handing around cups of pumpkin juice spiked with firewhisky. "We have to drink every time a potential Chaser scores a goal. We have to drink every time a potential Beater prevents a goal or a pass or just does some bloody good Beating."

"What exactly is the definition of 'bloody good Beating,' Padfoot?" Remus asked, grinning and taking a sip of his drink.

"Well there isn't one, but you'll know it when you see it," Sirius replied. "Also, we have to drink any time someone pukes during the run."

"Ugh, he makes them run until they puke?" Lily shook her head in dismay. "Although I suppose being able to run long distances says loads about someone's ability to stay on a broom through any weather for long stretches of time."

Peter laughed and reached for a sandwich. "You sound exactly like James." His laughter increased when he saw her startled expression, and he added, "That's not a bad thing. It just means you've been paying attention."

Lily nodded and took a sip of her drink, hoping alcohol would distract her from the slight pink tinge in her cheeks and the fact that she had just repeated James's Quidditch babble verbatim.

"Merlin, there are a lot of people trying out," Mary said, pointing at the crowd of Gryffindors assembling on the field. "I have a feeling we're going to be drunk sooner rather than later."

"Well, it's definitely a building year," Sirius replied. "Two Beaters and a Chaser to replace, not to mention James will be leaving at the end of the year so he'll be sort of preparing someone to replace him as Captain."

"Ooh, who d'you think that'll be?" Lily asked as she peered down at the team. "Maybe the redhead who has been getting drunk at parties since third year? James seems to really like him."

"Oh, Bubbles is the best," Sirius agreed. "Kid is an absolute legend. Remember that Howler his mum sent him when he wasn't keeping up in his classes, so Moony ended up tutoring him? So bloody hilarious. But I dunno if he's captain material." He lowered his voice and leaned in closer. "Nah, it's going to be Seven. James decided ages ago."

"Really?" Lily studied the thin, serious girl nicknamed Seven for her Quidditch number as she stood with her arms clasped behind her back, listening to James's instructions with a rapt expression on her face. "She's just so quiet. I never pictured her as a leader."

"She's bloody intense, though," Sirius said, watching as James bent closer to whisper something in Seven's ear that made her laugh. "Remember that match against Ravenclaw? One of their Beaters flew straight into her and broke her nose and at least three ribs. She refused to go to the hospital wing, just had James fix her nose and got back on her broom. Caught the Snitch within ten minutes. Fucking unreal."

"She takes training very seriously, too," Remus added, and Sirius noticed a slight note of self-conscious admiration in his tone. "Spent most of the summer getting ready for the season."

"How do you know that?" Sirius asked, raising his eyebrows and grinning as he watched Remus blush and take a sip of his drink to stall for time.

"We, er, wrote a few letters back and forth," Remus muttered, staring down at his shoes and ignoring the look of excitement spreading over Sirius's face.

"Ooh, does that mean-" Sirius began, but Remus held up a hand and cut him off.

"Nope."

"But-" Sirius insisted.

Remus held Sirius's gaze and shook his head."It just means we're friends who wrote a few letters to each other over the summer. We discussed summer homework and politics and Muggle novels. You would find the contents of the letters dreadfully boring, so don't bother asking to read them because you're only going to have a go at me for not writing about anything good, which is Sirius Black code for filthy sexual innuendos, so forgive me for wanting to have intelligent conversations instead of making jokes about polishing my broom handle." The stubborn set of his face told the group that the conversation was over. "Look at that, that poor girl is puking. Everyone needs to drink."

As everyone clinked their glasses together and took a sip, Sirius continued to turn over Remus's words, still curious despite his friend's reluctance to discuss the subject. His mind returned to the party six months ago; a combination of matchmaking efforts, luck, and firewhisky had resulted in Remus and Seven snogging on the Astronomy Tower. The look of drunken excitement and joy on Remus's face was forever etched in Sirius's memory, but the next day the happiness had been replaced by panic and dread. After an equal amount of gentle cajoling and tough love, Sirius, James, and Peter managed to convince Remus to let himself be happy and see where it went, but he ended it after a few weeks anyway, stating that he could not afford to get close to someone else and risk her finding out his secret. Still, Sirius wondered if the letters this summer meant there was still hope. He studied his friend, the way his pale skin set off his scars, the loose, relaxed quality his smile took on after even a few sips of alcohol, his tendency to watch Seven although he pretended he was merely watching the tryouts. Bloody hell, if anyone deserved a bit of snogging (or better yet, shagging), it was Remus Lupin.

"Black, are you paying attention? We have two more pukers - you owe two drinks!" Mary's voice cut through Sirius's thoughts, and he gulped down several mouthfuls of spiked pumpkin juice to make up for his previous lapse in concentration.

After James eliminated several disappointed and breathless Gryffindors who had been unable to

complete the run, he had the remaining potential Chasers take turns trying to score while Sunshine, the Keeper, attempted to block their shots. Several of the candidates turned out to be quite talented, and gleeful shouts of "Drink!" rang through the air as the Quaffle soared through the hoops again and again.

"Isn't she a first year?" Remus asked, pointing at a small girl flying straight at the middle goal with the Quaffle clutched in her hand. A moment later she veered sharply to the left, taking Sunshine by surprise and sending the Quaffle through the hoop amid cheers and gasps from the spectators.

"Drink!" Lily called, raising her glass in the air before taking a long swallow. "And you're right,

she is a first year. Her name's Kath. She's the one who asked if James and I are dating. Well, the first one, anyway." Her eyes widened as she realized what she'd said, and she tried to gloss over it before anyone caught on, but Sirius was too quick for her.

"Exactly how many first years have asked if you're dating?" he demanded, a sly smile creeping over his face as he watched the flush on her cheeks increase.

She sighed. "Just two. But anyway, that's not the point of this conversation. First years don't normally make the team, do they? I wonder why he's letting her try out."

"I mean, she is really good," Peter pointed out. "Maybe he'll make an exception?"

"Nah, the girl before her was a bit better," Sirius said. "I'm fairly certain that's who he'll go

with." He tapped his fingers against the side of his glass as he watched Kath score another impressive goal. "She does have a lot of promise, though. With a bit of training, she could be a real asset to the team."

"All right, we all know it's a bit of a building year, so we have some hard work ahead of us. And our first task is finding new talent to complete our team." James stood in front of his three teammates, his arms crossed in front of him and his usual confident grin on his face. As he surveyed their eager, determined faces, he felt a pang of sadness when he realized this was the last time he would lead Quidditch tryouts, but he brushed this thought aside. Today was dedicated to building a new Gryffindor Quidditch team. There would be plenty of time for sentimental sod thoughts later.

"I'm not the only one who has to work with these new players. We all do, so I want your input. If you have an opinion, don't be afraid to speak up. Especially you, Seven. You notice bloody everything, and you're going to be standing in my place next year, so really the decision is as much yours as it is mine." The grim, focused set of her mouth relaxed into a smile, and her eyes shone with pride as she nodded. For what felt like the millionth time, James looked at this serious, driven girl in front of him and wished things could have worked out between her and Remus, because Merlin, they would be bloody perfect together. But again, today was for Quidditch, not matchmaking, so James set these thoughts aside and returned his focus to the task in front of him. He took a few deep breaths and traced the engraving on his lucky whistle to get himself into the right mindset before approaching the group of Gryffindors gathered on the pitch.

"All right," he said, enjoying the sun on his face and the feeling of purpose and resolve he derived from leading his team."I hope you lot like running, because you're about to do a lot of it."

The run resulted in puke, tears, and several eliminations, but seven candidates for Chaser managed to get through it unscathed. As James watched the potential Chasers attempt to score on Sunshine, he tried to imagine how each of them would fit with the rest of the team. Nobody really caught his eye until the second to last candidate, a fifth year girl called Farley. She made every goal she attempted, and the last one spun through the air and sailed through the hoop just inches from Sunshine's fingers, making James raise his eyebrows and nod in approval. In his mind, Farley was already on the team when he noticed the final Chaser candidate.

"Kath, I don't want to ruin your day, but first years basically never make the team. It's not personal, it's just sort of the way things go." He flashed her an apologetic smile and hoped to Merlin she was not about to burst into tears. Blood, puke, broken bones - he could handle any of that, but nothing made him more uncomfortable than someone crying.

"I know," she said, mounting her broom and looking unconcerned. "Just let me have a go anyway, will you? I came all the way down here and did the run and everything, so you may as well give me a chance."

The hopeful grin on her face reminded James of himself somehow, so he shrugged and blew his whistle to signal for her to begin. His expectations were low; most first years were inaccurate and undisciplined, and he had no reason to believe Kath would be any different. As soon as he saw her in the air, however, he stopped wondering if Lily was watching and gave Kath his full attention. The broom seemed to be an extension of her body, and the carefree, jubilant expression on her face told James that flying was almost as natural to her as breathing. When she made her final shot, jerking her broom to the side at the last second and surprising everyone, he muttered, "Bloody hell," under his breath before blowing his whistle and gathering his teammates together to discuss the candidates.

"What did you think?" he asked, scanning their faces to gauge their reactions to Kath's impressive skills.

"Well, obviously Farley is a good choice," Bubbles said. "Not bad to look at, either." He nodded in her direction and smirked at James.

"What, you and Mrs. Bubbles haven't split up, have you?" James asked, surprised. Bubbles had been dating the same girl for almost two years, and she hung around so often that James had given her a nickname.

Bubbles shook his head. "Nah, course not. But that doesn't mean I'm not allowed to look."

"Well, just make sure looking doesn't distract you from Quidditch," James said, chuckling. "Anyway, what do the rest of you think?"

"Farley is solid," Sunshine put in. "That last shot drove me mad. I should've had it, but somehow she got me to underestimate how high it was going to go."

"I liked Farley," Seven said, a thoughtful frown on her face as she ran through the girl's tryout in her head. "I think her style will fit really well with you and Bubbles. But…" Her voice trailed off and she bit her lip.

"What?" James prompted.

"That first year is really good. She's a natural. And it took guts, trying out like that after you pretty much told her she had no chance." She toyed with the end of her braid as she spoke. "I don't know what her work ethic is like, but it seems a shame to waste that talent. She reminds me a bit of…"

"Of me?" James asked, and she nodded, grinning. "Yeah, me too. Not shy at all, no fear, hell of a flyer, and confident - well, probably a bit arrogant. Who does that sound like?" He ran a hand through his hair and grinned. "But anyway, I agree with everything you said, Seven. What do you lot think about keeping her on as a reserve? She can train with us and get used to the team, and she'll come in handy if anything happens to me or to Bubbles, which, let's face it, isn't out of the realm of possibility considering how reckless and stupid we both can be."

Bubbles grinned and nodded. "Hear, hear."

"And then next year, when I'm not around to grace you with my presence, you'll have a decent replacement without having to go through all of this," James added.

"What's the point, when your friends won't be here to make a drinking game out of it?" Sunshine said, gesturing at the group of Gryffindors sprawled out on the bleachers. Sirius had his arm slung over Remus's shoulders, and they were all laughing with their heads thrown back, sloshing their cups of spiked pumpkin juice onto their clothes but not seeming to care.

"Fair point," James said. "Although I bet Bubbles could get his friends to carry on the tradition. Anyway, is everyone all right with adding Farley as our new Chaser and making Kath a reserve?"

They all nodded their assent, and James ushered them over to announce the decision, feeling quite optimistic despite the very real possibility that one of the rejected Chasers might cry.

"Okay, new rule!" Lily stood up on her seat to get everyone's attention. "We have to drink every time James makes that Quidditch captain face."

Everyone stared at her quizzically for a moment, then Sirius burst into laughter. "What in the name of Merlin is a Quidditch captain face, Evans?"

She heaved an impatient sigh. "You know, it's kind of like a focusing, important decision-type face?" It was so clear in her head: the image of James's brow knitting in concentration as his hazel eyes followed the Quaffle or studied the way a player pulled out of a dive, the way his fingers grasped his lucky whistle as he waited to see if the Quaffle would sail through a goalpost, the tight set of his mouth as he ran a play in his head. "It's sort of like this?" She tried to imitate it, but the raucous laughter that followed told her she had not been successful.

"You know what, why don't you just tell us when he does it, and we'll take your word for it, yeah?" Mary asked, draining her cup and inclining her head in James's direction. "That way you won't have to pretend you're not watching his every move because you'll have an actual reason to stare at him."
"I'm not watching his every move!" Lily protested.

"Evans, you don't have to lie to us. We're your friends." Sirius draped an arm over her shoulders, and Lily noticed that slight drunken quality to his grin. "You don't have to pretend you're not watching James, when we all know you're enjoying every minute of seeing him in all his Quidditch captain glory and also hoping he takes his shirt off."

Rather than try to deny the accusation, Lily pointed down at the pitch where James was now addressing his teammates. "That's the face! We all have to drink!"

They all raised their glasses and took a sip (Mary had to steal some of Sirius's drink since hers was empty), then stretched out on the stands to wait for James to announce his decision.

"What a day," Mary said after refilling her glass and setting it down next to her so she could sprawl out with her head in Sirius's lap. "I could just fall asleep right here."

"You better not," Sirius warned. "There's no napping allowed when you're day drinking."

"Moony and I both learned that the hard way," Peter said, a rueful smile spreading over his face at the memory. The tips of his ears were sunburnt, but he seemed not to notice or care.

"What time is it?" Lily asked. The heat of the sun on her body and the warmth of the alcohol gave her a lazy, contented feeling, and she took another sip, savoring the sweetness of the pumpkin juice and the sharp bite of the firewhisky underneath.

Sirius checked his watch. "It's drunk thirty," he replied, bumping his glass against hers and taking a sip.

"Is drunk thirty different than drunk o'clock, Padfoot?" Remus lay across several seats with his arms folded under his head. The several glasses of spiked pumpkin juice combined with the ideal September day had brought him to the perfect state of relaxation that eased the constant worry lines on his forehead and made his scars less noticeable.

"Of course it is," Sirius replied, rolling his eyes. "Drunk o'clock is when you start drinking. Drunk thirty is when you sort of self-assess and think, 'Yeah, I'm drunk.'"

"In that case, yes, it does appear to be drunk thirty," Remus replied, shielding his eyes against the sun and attempting to take a sip without spilling his drink all over his face.

Peter heaved himself into a seated position and pointed down at the pitch. "Look, I think he's about to tell everyone which Chaser they're going with!"

"I really think it'll be Kath," Lily said as she watched James approach the potential Chasers, eager to hear the decision.

"Nah, it's definitely Farley," Sirius said. "If I'm wrong, I'll finish my drink."

"And if I'm wrong, I'll finish mine," Lily said, and they shook on it to make it official.

After James delivered the team's decision and started the Beater portion of the tryouts, Sirius and Lily looked at each other, both wearing bemused expressions.

"I feel like we were both sort of right," she said.

"But also both sort of wrong," Sirius added.

"Should we both finish our drinks, just to be fair?"

Sirius mulled this over, tapping his fingers against the top of Mary's head as he thought.

"I think we'd better," he said, raising his glass in the air before downing it all in one gulp.

"You know, it probably would've been more fair for you to drink just half of yours," Lily remarked after finishing her own drink. "Because you were more right than I was, I guess."

Sirius shrugged. "I don't mind. Besides, I can handle a bit more alcohol than you can." He rummaged through his bag for the pumpkin juice and firewhisky to refill their glasses. "Anyone else empty?" Remus held out his glass and Sirius filled it for him. "You should really sit up, Moony. You look about ready to fall asleep."

"I always look like this," Remus retorted, attempting a rude hand gesture and nearly dropping his drink.

"Hang on, are you implying that I'm a lightweight?" Lily's brain seemed to be functioning at half its normal speed, and Sirius's meaning had only just become clear to her.

"The length of time it took you to process and respond to that proves my point," Sirius said, reaching into the food bag and pulling out a box of Bertie Botts.

"I am not a lightweight," Lily insisted. Her face lit up when she spotted the Bertie Botts. "Ooh, give me any grass flavored ones you find." The sound of James's whistle mingled with Peter's shout of "Drink!" but Lily felt far away from it all. She held out her hand for the beans Sirius had selected for her, and when she popped them into her mouth they were warm and sticky from the sun. The sweet, slightly earthy flavor filled her mouth and she breathed a sigh of contentment.

"We'll see who's puking at the end of the night," Sirius said, picking out a tan bean for himself before throwing a yellow one at Remus's head. "We owe two drinks, by the way."

"Padfoot, you're supposed to be keeping an eye out for 'bloody good Beating,' as you put it," Peter said. A half-eaten biscuit was clutched in one hand while he held his drink with his other hand, and his nose was now sunburnt in addition to his ears, but his smile was as wide as ever. "I think that last move might have counted, but I'm not sure…"

"I trust you, Wormtail. If you say it was bloody good Beating, then it was bloody good Beating." He raised his glass. "Everyone drink!"

A few minutes later Lily's eyes had begun to drift shut when a soft thump and a roar of laughter caught her attention, and she turned to find Mary wedged in the space between two seats, laughing and trying in vain to sit up.

"Bloody hell, Macdonald, that may have been the funniest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life," Sirius said, wiping away tears of laughter and extending a hand to help her. "What were you trying to do?"

Mary only shook her head and clutched her ribs, unable to speak until the peals of laughter subsided. "Merlin, I can't breathe," she gasped as she grasped Sirius's hand and pulled herself up. "I was trying to push my sleeves up a bit so I don't get tan lines, you know? Except I'm a drunken arsehole apparently and I just sort of…" Her voice trailed off as she was overtaken by laughter again.

"You just sort of rolled off," Sirius finished for her, shaking his head in amazement before looking around at the others. "Tell me I'm not the only one that saw this. Moony, if you fell asleep and missed it-"

"I wasn't asleep!" Remus insisted. "I was just watching the tryouts." Lily followed his gaze into the air; a stocky boy aimed a Bludger at Seven, but she dove out of range at the last second, leaving him to swear in frustration and fly after it to send it back at another player.

"I was making another drink," Peter said, holding up his glass as proof.

"Well you both missed pure comedic gold," Sirius said. "Here, I'll reenact it for you." He stretched out on the seat, then flailed his arms around and rolled off with a much louder thump. "Bloody hell, that hurt more than I expected it to."

"I feel a bit bad for James, having to deal with us later when he's sober and we're all like this." Lily gestured around at the group, all in various states of drunkenness with Sirius lying in a heap between the seats. "He's going to hate us."

"Nah, he'll be all right." Sirius threw a Bertie Botts into the air and opened his mouth to catch it, but he misjudged his position and it bounced off his forehead instead. "He'll just have some catching up to do."

"Merlin, you lot are in a state." Tired and thirsty after a long afternoon in the sun, James stood surveying his friends with his hands shoved into his pockets, chuckling as he watched Mary and Sirius trying to help each other stand up.

"You're in a state," Sirius shot back, then promptly lost his balance and fell over on top of Mary.

James did not reply, but instead reached down to help both of them to their feet before turning his attention to Lily.

"What about you, Evans? Are you as drunk as these idiots?" The grin on his face widened as she got to her feet and crossed her arms, a dignified expression on her face despite the unfocused quality of her eyes.

"I'm afraid I might be," she said, leaning in closer as if telling him a secret and wobbling on her feet.

James laughed and grabbed her hand to steady her. "Well that answers my question. Are you going to be okay to walk back to the castle?"

"Of course I am. Although…" She glanced sideways at him, a sly smile on her face that made his breath catch in his chest. Merlin, how was she this bloody sexy even drunk off her arse and about to topple over? "Maybe you should keep your arm around me? You know, just in case I fall."

Before he had time to reply, Lily reached for his arm and slung it over her shoulders before wrapping her arm around his waist and leaning against him. The gentle brush of her fingers against the thin fabric of his t-shirt made him shiver, and her hair smelled impossibly good as always, and a sudden burst of panic filled him as he realized what he must smell like after sweating in the sun for hours.

"Er, all right," he said once he quieted the tumult of thoughts in his head and forced his lips to form words. "Wouldn't want you to fall." He tried to reign in his idiotic grin, but gave up and instead hoped Lily was too drunk to notice or care. "You all right, Moony and Wormtail?"

"We are excellent," Remus confirmed. He had slung both bags over his shoulder, and although he swayed slightly on his feet, he managed to stay upright. Peter stood beside him, now very sunburnt and still clutching a half-full drink.

"Right, then lets head back," James said, setting off for the castle and keeping his pace slow for Lily's sake. "Merlin, how did I become the sober voice of reason?"

Sirius burst into laughter and slung his arm over James's free shoulder. "Fuck, you're right. Sorry, Prongs. But you know what, if it helps, you're a really good Quidditch captain." He reached over and made a grab for James's whistle.

"Cut it out, Padfoot," James said, slapping Sirius's hand away.

"Come on, let me blow your whistle," Sirius urged as he tried to reach around James's hand.

Lily giggled. "Ooh, that sounds dirty."

"Evans, you have a surprisingly dirty mind," Sirius said, giving up on the whistle and pointing a finger at Lily instead. "Did you know Evans thinks you make an adorable Quidditch Captain face?"

James waited for a blush to spread across her face, but she seemed to be too drunk to be embarrassed, because she only giggled and said, "I didn't say it was adorable."

Sirius frowned. "You sure? It sounds like something you would say."

"So you don't think I look adorable playing Quidditch?" James turned to look at her, pouting.

"I never said that either," Lily said. She reached over and brushed a piece of hair from James's forehead, and the unexpected gesture surprised him so much that he didn't even worry about how damp with sweat his hair must be. He fell silent for a minute, aware of Lily's body against his own and marveling at how this day had turned out.

"Should we go straight to dinner, do you think?" Sirius asked, interrupting James's thoughts.

"I'm not sure you lot can handle dinner," James said, and as if on cue Peter misstepped and went sprawling across the lawn. A moment later Remus took one look at Peter and collapsed to the ground next to him, shaking with silent laughter.

"Nope, definitely too drunk for dinner," James said, nodding. "I'll get food and bring it back to the common room."

"You're just grumpy cause you're sober," Sirius pointed out. "You need a drink. Who has the bag with the firewhisky?" He extricated his arm from James's shoulder and bent to retrieve the firewhisky from Peter's bag, which now lay on the ground next to him with the contents spilled out across the grass. "Here, Prongs, have a bit." He thrust the bottle into James's hand, then stood watching with his arms crossed until James took several sips.

"Don't hog it all," Lily said, grabbing the bottle out of his hand and helping herself to a long swallow.

"I don't know if you need that," James said, but she ignored him and took a second sip before passing the bottle to Sirius.

"Don't tell me what to do, James Potter." The ends of her hair brushed against his collarbone and her breath felt warm against his neck as she leaned in to murmur these teasing, slurred words into his ear, and he could hardly speak for the rest of the trek to the castle as he caught his breath and let his racing heart return to a normal speed. Bloody hell, what a day.

"Evans, do you want to come to the Astronomy Tower to have a smoke with me?" Sirius asked. James had just deposited them in the common room while he went to see about getting them some dinner. Mary had collapsed into an armchair and fallen asleep with her head lolling to one side, and Peter and Remus were slumped in the chairs across from her, sharing a chocolate bar and chuckling about some joke Sirius had missed.

Lily raised her eyebrows. "I don't smoke. And James specifically said we were too drunk to go wandering the castle by ourselves."

"You don't normally smoke, that's true, but I think you're the right sort of drunk where you might throw caution to the wind and do something you wouldn't normally do. And not ten minutes ago you told him not to tell you what to do." Sirius lowered his voice and leaned in closer. "The second we leave, those two are going to take a power nap, but they won't do it unless I leave, because I always give them shit for napping after day drinking."

"So why don't you just stop giving them shit?" Lily asked, laughing.

"It's way too much fun. But if they don't sleep a bit, they won't be any fun tonight, and I have high hopes for tonight. I'd ask Macdonald to join us, but seeing as she's already asleep…"

Lily followed his gaze to where Mary sat slumped in her chair with her curls falling into her face. "She's rather adorable when she sleeps, isn't she?"

"Yeah, she is," Sirius replied, watching the soft rise and fall of her chest and resisting the sudden urge to cross the room and kiss her forehead before curling up next to her.

Lily did not reply, but glanced sideways at him and smirked, and he burst into laughter and shook his head.

"Sod you, Evans. You tricked me into saying that."

"It's okay to have feelings for her, Sirius. What are you so bloody afraid of?" The words hammered against his defenses and her green eyes seemed to bore into him, looking past his carefully constructed nonchalance to uncover the disconcerting feelings he tried to hide from everyone, including himself.

"You're one to talk," he said, taking a breath to steady himself. The upwelling of emotion felt foreign and overwhelming, and he longed to numb the feelings and drown out the thoughts he usually managed to ignore. He pulled a flask from his pocket and jerked his head in the direction of the portrait hole. "Come on, Evans, I need a drunk partner in crime and it looks like you're it." Before she had time to respond he took a sip from the flask and set off for the portrait hole, and after a moment's hesitation she followed.

During the walk to the Astronomy Tower Sirius had to catch Lily when she tripped over her own shoelace, and then Lily had to support Sirius because he was laughing too hard to stand up on his own. A few minutes later they spotted Peeves and ran away, giggling and trying not to trip after calling him a wanker and chucking Dungbombs in his direction.

"That was not model Head Girl behavior," Lily said, leaning against the railing when they reached the Astronomy Tower, gasping for breath and wiping away tears of laughter.

"Let's be honest, Evans," Sirius said, sliding down to rest his back against the stone and pulling the pack of cigarettes from his pocket. "This entire day has been the opposite of model Head Girl behavior." He lit a cigarette and closed his eyes for a moment as the nicotine calmed his jangling nerves, then offered the pack to Lily.

"I suppose you're right." She took a cigarette and lit it, then inhaled tentatively before erupting into a fit of coughing. "Bloody hell, I'm not very good at this, am I?" she choked out.

"Practice makes perfect." The fresh air and the cigarette restored Sirius's previous cheerful drunken state, and he looked over and grinned at the awkward way Lily held the cigarette between her fingers, her eyes fixed on it as though she couldn't quite believe she was actually smoking. "Merlin, it's funny to see you smoking."

Lily put the cigarette to her lips again, and this time she only coughed a few times as she exhaled the smoke and watched it dissipate into the evening air. "The last time I smoked a cigarette was that time you had a fight with your brother and we ended up having a heart to heart about how we both have shit siblings."

The memory was tinged with anger and regret, but remembering that conversation with Lily brought a smile to Sirius's face, because that was the first time he had really started to consider her a friend. "That was a good one, as far as heart to hearts go, not that I'm much of an expert, since I don't much enjoy talking about my feelings." He watched the smoke from his cigarette drift away, wondering if they were about to have a second heart to heart. The idea made him nervous all over again, and yet he knew it was futile to resist the unstoppable force that was Lily Evans.

"You don't, do you?" Lily mused, before lapsing into silence as she smoked her cigarette.

Sirius was content to smoke in silence alongside her, watching the last traces of sunlight disappear as an evening chill crept into the air. When he finished his cigarette he ground it out beneath his shoe and took the flask from his pocket, putting it to his lips and taking a long pull before setting it on the ground next to Lily.

"What's the story?" she asked, breaking the silence as she put out her cigarette on the stone floor and Vanished the ash and cigarette butts.

"What's the story with what?" Sirius said, although he had a feeling he knew exactly what she was getting at.

"Don't give me that rubbish." She rolled her eyes and helped herself to the flask. "What's the story with you and Mary? Why the hell aren't you dating? And before you answer, keep in mind that I am irresponsibly drunk and might not remember anything you tell me tomorrow, but even if I do, your secret is safe with me." She mimed locking her mouth and tossing away the key.

The silly gesture made Sirius chuckle, but the amusement on his face changed to a thoughtful frown as he mulled over what she had said. "Well, if I answer that, and I mean really answer it instead of telling you to sod off like usual, you've got to do the same."

"Do the same how?"

"Don't give me that rubbish. Why the hell aren't you and James dating?" Sirius said, mimicking Lily's tone and mannerisms so perfectly that she laughed and gave him a playful shove.

"All right, fine. If you share, I'll share." The cooling air raised goosebumps on her skin, and she rubbed her arms in an effort to warm them until Sirius shrugged off his jacket and handed it to her.

"Right," he said, grinning as he watched her struggle to put on the jacket. "Why aren't we dating? I mean, the simple answer is that I don't date. I'm selfish and impulsive and I push people away when I'm angry. And I'm angry rather a lot. You know - you've seen me. Fucking hell, sometimes I can't believe I still have friends after I've lost it and acted like a fucking arsehole. So a girlfriend would just be a huge bloody disaster. I just don't think I'm a relationship sort of person."

Once he got going it felt good to let his thoughts spill out, and he felt a bit lighter as he took a sip of firewhisky before continuing. "I know you're thinking that Macdonald has been around for my worst and it hasn't scared her away, and yeah, you're right. I've told her things that I've only ever talked to James about, and I know she's talked to me about stuff she doesn't really talk about. Honestly she's become one of my best friends and we have a great time together and she's probably the best shag I've ever had, and what we have is fucking great." He held up a hand, anticipating her protests, and went on, "I know you're going to say, well, if it's so great, why don't you just date? But that's exactly why: because it's so great. I don't want anything to change. I'm bloody terrified that the second we're in a relationship it's going to complicate everything. And that's what I love about us, is that we're so uncomplicated. If we date and ruin it somehow and end up not even being friends?" He felt his heart speed up as he considered this possibility. "I don't even like to think about it. Not to mention everything that's going on in the world right now. Who knows what's going to happen! There's just so much that's fucked up, why would I risk fucking up somehing that's working just fine?"

A charged silence hung in the air after he finished speaking, and Sirius took several deep breaths and a large swallow of firewhisky before his breathing and heartbeat returned to normal. These ideas had only been vague and half-formed until he spoke them aloud, but now that they were out there it all felt very coherent and definite and frightening. He was scrambling to figure out a way to take it all back when Lily spoke and interrupted his agitated thoughts.

"Shit." She glanced sideways at him, her face full of an emotion that Sirius could not quite identify. He waited for her to say more, but she only sat there, her eyes piercing him and perceiving him until he wanted to squirm away from her scrutiny.

"What does that mean?" he asked when he could no longer stand the charged silence.

"It just means, shit. That's all just really heavy, and I wish I had something better to say, but I really don't." The words hovered in the air for a moment before she pulled him into a clumsy hug. "I'm scared too," she whispered into his hair, and he could sense a slight quaver in her voice unrelated to the alcohol-induced slurring. Without thinking about it he wrapped his arms around her, and he felt her thin frame draped in his leather jacket and smelled the mingled scents of cigarette smoke, firewhisky, and something floral that might have been her perfume or shampoo. Somehow the hug made him feel safer, stronger, less unnerved, and when she released him and pulled away he breathed a contented sigh, feeling some of the fear and uncertainty leave his body.

"Thanks, Evans," he said, taking another sip from the flask before passing it across to her. "Did you mean that? About being scared, I mean?"

She took a swallow of firewhisky and nodded. "Course I did. Why do you think I'm not dating James yet? It's, I dunno, it's exactly what you said about how things are great as they are and you're afraid of messing it all up, as well as the state of the world right now. It's all just so uncertain, and if I let myself think about it too much I start to panic." Her fingers traced a crack in the stone as she spoke, running up and down the imperfection as though trying to smooth it out. "It's okay to be scared. It's perfectly normal. Having feelings for someone, putting yourself out there, being in a relationship - that's all kind of terrifying. But just because we're scared doesn't mean we shouldn't go for it anyway." The words echoed in Sirius's head as Lily leaned her head against his shoulder. "We're Gryffindors. Doing things that terrify us is kind of what we do."

Sirius chuckled. "You do have a point."

"So just keep an open mind about it, okay? Because yeah, things are great now, but what if they could be even better? Don't let yourself miss out on that because you're afraid of what could go wrong."

"I'll keep an open mind," Sirius said, not sure if he meant it but unwilling to argue with Lily after she had been kind enough to listen to his drunken word vomit. "But you have to promise to do the same."

She picked up her head and met his gaze, an indiscernible glint in her green eyes. "I will," she said after a pause. "I want to. I just need to get my head in the right place."

Sirius nodded, then raised his eyebrows as a thought occurred to him. "You know, if you're wondering if he looks good naked and that's what's holding you back, I can confirm that yes, he looks excellent naked."

"Merlin!" she squealed, breaking into laughter and shoving his shoulder. "First of all, how do you know that?"

He shrugged. "We've been best friends for six years, and lived together most of that time. I've seen it all, Evans. I can give you a detailed description of everything, if you like."

"Bloody hell." She shook her head in disbelief, then heaved herself to her feet, stretching her cramped legs after so much time on the hard stone floor. "That won't be necessary, but thank you for offering. Now come on, we should get back before James thinks we've ditched him."

"What happened to you two?" James demanded when Lily and Sirius burst through the portrait hole, giggling and holding each other up. The table by the fire was spread with various items of food, and Remus, Peter, and Mary were helping themselves, looking refreshed from their brief period of sleep.

"I convinced Evans to come have a smoke with me," Sirius said, perching on the arm of Mary's chair. "We also threw Dungbombs at Peeves and called him a wanker. Can you believe this delinquent is our Head Girl?"

"Best Head Girl Hogwarts has seen this century," James said, beaming at Lily before biting into a sandwich.

Lily returned his smile and sat down next to him, hyper-aware of his proximity after her frank discussion with Sirius. The advice she'd given him kept echoing in her head, urging her to set her own fear aside and give in to the desire that had been building for months. She looked at the boy sitting next to her, flashing her that confident grin and singing her praises without even thinking twice about it, and she had to hold herself back from flinging herself at him and kissing him as they should have kissed numerous times before, fear and caution and common sense be damned. Instead she picked up a deck of Exploding Snap cards that lay scattered on the table and began to shuffle them.

"Anyone up for a game?" she asked, and Sirius's face lit up.

"Evans, Macdonald, have we ever taught you to play Firecracker?"

"Drink, Moony!" James held up his card and showed it to Remus, a triumphant grin on his face. The game had been going for almost an hour, and the frequent bursts of laughter and swearing had drawn a crowd of onlookers. When Lily had spun a Knut and knocked down all the opposing team's cards, the deafening applause and cheers made Remus worry someone would hear the noise and report it to McGonagall.

"Bloody hell," he muttered, taking a sip of his drink and regretting the decision as soon as the firewhisky touched his lips. He took deep breaths and studied the pattern on the rug in an effort to distract himself, but it was useless. That one sip had pushed him past his limit, and his body was not going to stand for it.

He stood and set down his drink. "I'll be right back," he said, hurrying off to the bathroom before anyone could comment on his pallor or the clammy sheen to his skin.

"Are you going to the loo? Hang on, I'll come and make sure you don't fall and break your neck." Remus looked back to see Sirius jogging to catch up with him. After the amount of firewhisky he had consumed tonight, running seemed inadvisable, but Remus didn't trust himself to open his mouth and say so. Instead, he nodded at his friend and quickened his pace.

"You're going to be sick, aren't you?" Sirius asked, his voice softened by alcohol and concern.

"No I'm not," Remus said, then wished he hadn't spoken as his nausea intensified.

"Shit, sorry for making you talk, that's just going to make it worse."

Remus did not reply, but threw open the door and scrambled into the bathroom, making it just in time as his stomach heaved and an evening's worth of firewhisky burned its way back up his throat. After he finished he wiped his mouth and remained kneeling in front of the toilet for a moment, gathering himself before going back down to the common room. He was just about to get to his feet when Sirius rushed in and vomited into the sink.

"Merlin, Padfoot," Remus exclaimed, averting his eyes to give his friend some semblance of privacy. "You all right?" He couldn't remember the last time he had seen Sirius throw up during a night of drinking, although the morning after was a different story altogether.

There was a sloshing sound as Sirius rinsed his mouth out and washed the vomit down the drain before attempting to Vanish the rest. "I'm all right," he confirmed. "Excellent, actually. You?"

Remus grimaced and pulled himself to his feet. "Fantastic." Sirius moved aside so Remus could rinse his mouth out and check his reflection in the mirror. "Fuck, we look awful. Everyone's going to know we puked."

Sirius grinned and clapped him on the back. "What are you talking about, Moony? We look damn sexy. Nobody's going to know we puked. We're just going to go down there and keep drinking like we didn't just puke our fucking guts out."

Remus chuckled. "Are you saying we're going to boot and rally?"

"Technically we've already booted, so all we need to do is rally, and rallying is the fun part." Sirius took a step toward the door, but Remus held out a hand to stop him.

"Hang on," he said, reaching into his pocket and taking out half a bar of chocolate. He broke off a piece and handed it to Sirius, keeping the rest for himself. "To hide the puke smell," he explained, then ate the chocolate in one bite, feeling a bit better as the familiar sweetness filled his mouth.

"Cheers, Moony," Sirius said, nodding in appreciation and popping the chocolate into his mouth. "If I have to boot and rally with someone, I'd pick you any day." He grinned then set off to return to the game, and after taking a deep breath to steel himself, Remus followed.

"You think Remus and Sirius are all right?" Lily asked. She sat on the arm of James's chair, having hopped out of her own seat to celebrate when she drew a lucky card that forced James to drink. Her foot kept bumping James's leg, but instead of moving it further away, she let it remain there, brushing against him. The light contact was driving her mad, although she did her best to hide it.

"Remus might be puking," James said. "If he gets to a certain point, even one sip can put him over the edge. But Sirius will be fine. He can outdrink all of us." The tips of his fingers brushed the side of Lily's leg and sent shivers down her spine. He yanked his hand away, blushing, but she reached out and caught his hand, placing it back on her leg. Nobody seemed to be paying attention, and the noisy chatter of the common room seemed to fade away as their eyes met and attraction crackled between them.

"Evans," James murmured. "Are you sure? You're a lot drunker than I am."

The heat of his fingers resting against her leg was enough to make her lose her train of thought, but she forced her brain to repeat his words until she could form a coherent reply. "Don't tell me what to do, James Potter," she said, leaning in and running a hand through his hair. All the countless times she had seen him do this had left her with an unexplained desire to run her own fingers through that stupid untidy hair, and it felt great to finally satisfy this urge. When she tired of his hair she let her hand drift down to rest on his shoulder as she inclined her head towards him to whisper in his ear. "Do you want to go for a walk with me?"

His eyes widened with surprise, fear, or perhaps both, but before he could answer Sirius and Remus stumbled back into the room and plopped back down onto the armchairs they had vacated.

"We're back," Sirius announced, reaching for his drink and finishing it before pouring himself more. He reached for his red cowboy hat that had fallen off during one of the more exciting rounds of the game, then placed it on Remus's head with a nod of satisfaction. "It's Moony's turn, isn't it?"

Lily slid off the arm of James's chair and returned to the vacant chair next to him. The spot on her leg where his hand had been still felt warm, and she felt sure her face was bright red after her bold behavior. She couldn't be sure, since Sirius had interrupted, but she had a nagging feeling James was going to turn her request down. It kept bothering her as her mind turned the thought over and over for the remainder of the evening.

"Black, it's your turn." Mary took a sip of her drink and waited for Sirius to play a card, then nudged him when he didn't respond. This elicited only a soft grunt, and Mary set down her drink and leaned over to give him a proper shove. "Black, are you alive?"

He blinked several times and mumbled something unintelligible before dropping his cards on the ground and nestling his head against Mary's shoulder. The unexpected intimacy of the gesture caught her off guard, and she had to resist the urge to plant a kiss on the top of his head, reminding herself that they were in the common room in front of everyone rather than alone tucked into Sirius's bed. Instead she gave his shoulder an affectionate pat and gestured to get Remus's attention.

"Are you seeing this? Where's Peter with that bloody camera? Someone should capture this moment forever." She chuckled, trying to keep her shoulder steady so as not to wake up Sirius. "Sirius Black, the brooding, mysterious, motorbike-driving rebel, passed out drunk with his head on my shoulder."

"Wormtail!" Remus called, waving to Peter, but he was across the room standing on top of a couch throwing a Quaffle to James and seemed too engaged in the game to hear. "Ah, well, I took a mental picture, anyway. He's still holding his drink and hasn't spilled it. That's kind of impressive."

"Should I bring him up to bed, d'you think?" The thought of dragging Sirius all the way up the staircase to his dormitory was not exactly inviting, especially when she was nowhere near sober, but she knew he would do the same for her.

"Probably. Bloody idiot. Should've stopped drinking hours ago," he said, but his tone was affectionate as he surveyed his friend's sleeping form and shook his head. The motion almost caused the red cowboy hat to fall off, and Mary marvelled that he had kept it on this long.

"That doesn't sound like Sirius Black," Mary said, rolling her eyes then jerking her legs out of the way as the full drink dropped from Sirius's grasp and spilled all over the floor. "Oh, for fuck's sake." She gave Sirius a gentle prod on the shoulder. "Black? You've got to get up. We're bringing you to bed."
"I'm not bloody going to bed," he muttered, burrowing further into Mary's shoulder and wrapping his arms around her waist. "Bed is for amateurs."

"Black, come on." She attempted to stand up, but he held on tighter as she struggled against his grasp. "You're passed out in the common room and you've just spilled your drink everywhere. I think you're done."

Sirius looked at Mary through bleary eyes before turning his head in slow, jerky motions, a confused expression on his face. "I'm not done. Where's my bloody drink?"

"I've just told you, you spilled it on the floor like an arsehole," Mary said, heaving a sigh and extricating herself from Sirius. "Stand up, Black, you're going up to bed." She tugged on his hand, but he only flopped across the seat, making his body limp and refusing to budge.

"Cut it out, Macdonald, I'm not going to bed. Moony, tell her I'm not going to bed." Sirius draped his head over the edge of the cushion to fix Remus with a pleading gaze from upside down.

"I'm not telling her that, Padfoot." Remus grabbed both of his hands and tried to drag him upright. "Get up, you prat."

"Moony!" Sirius whined, making his body even more limp, and after a moment Remus sighed and gave up. "Need a drink."

"I promise you don't," Remus said, turning to Mary and frowning. "I suppose we can just leave him here, but I don't trust him not to find another drink."

"Hang on, I have an idea." Mary bent down to whisper in Sirius's ear, brushing her lips against his ear and trailing her fingers up and down his chest. His eyes widened and his face split into a wide grin, and after a moment he got to his feet, swaying and leaning against the back of the armchair for support.

"Come on, Macdonald," Sirius said, draping an arm around her and almost pulling both of them back down onto the armchair.

Remus hurried over and wrapped an arm around Sirius's free shoulder. "Easy, Padfoot," he said, guiding him toward the stairs. He looked across at Mary and lowered his voice. "What did you say to convince him?"

Mary smirked and shook her head. "It's too filthy to say out loud."

"Oh, good call. I should've known shagging would be the one thing to get him on his feet," Remus said, laughing.

"Moony," Sirius said. His head kept drooping to one side to rest on Remus's shoulder, and his eyes were slightly unfocused. "Moony, guess what?"

"What?" Remus grunted with the effort of supporting most of Sirius's weight.

"I am really, really drunk," Sirius said. He drew out each word, making an effort not to slur, but the effect made him sound even more intoxicated. "Also, you look bloody sexy in my cowboy hat." With what seemed to be an enormous effort, he turned his head to face Mary. "Doesn't he, Macdonald? He looks so good I bet you'd shag him, wouldn't you, if you weren't about to shag me? You'd say, 'Remus Lupin, please shag me. Take off your clothes except for that excellent cowboy hat, and maybe leave the cardigan, too." Sirius started to giggle and looked back at Remus.

"I mean, it does look great on you," Mary said, laughing and shaking her head while Remus seemed torn between amusement and mortification.

"Shut up, Padfoot, for fuck's sake," Remus said, pushing the cowboy hat out of his eyes. "Merlin, what an image. You're going to scar poor Mary."

"Rubbish! You are very good looking and any girl would consider it a privilege to see you naked," Sirius insisted.

Remus snorted with laughter. "Bloody hell, Padfoot!"

"What?" Sirius looked from Remus to Mary, stumbling over a step but not seeming to care one bit. "Earlier I told Evans that James looks great naked, and now I'm going to talk you up as well."

The statement surprised Mary so much that she almost dropped Sirius. "Did you really? How did that come up?"

"Course I did. Evans said, 'Sirius, what does James look like naked?' So I told her," he explained, his tone as casual as if he has been discussing a homework assignment or telling Mary the time. "Why's that weird? Why can't a bloke talk up his mate by saying he looks good naked? Why the fuck is being naked such a big deal? People are so uptight, but fucking why? It's just, like, a knob and an arse, you know?"

"You do have a point," Mary said through peals of laughter.

"If only Walburga could hear you say that," Remus said. "She'd be so proud."

"Fucking hell, Walburga is the worst bloody offender!" Sirius's voice rose, and Mary worried the sound might carry and wake up some unsuspecting first year. "Walking around all high and mighty like everyone doesn't know she married her fucking cousin! Bloody uptight bitch, I'd love to fucking moon her. I'd do it in a fucking heartbeat if I could figure out a way to do it without having to see or talk to her."

By this point they had reached the dormitory, so Remus pulled open the door and maneuvered the three of them through so he and Mary could deposit Sirius onto the bed. He tumbled onto the mattress with his arms and legs splayed out, looking up at them with a bemused expression.

"Are you all set if I go back downstairs?" Remus asked Mary.

She nodded. "Yeah, go ahead. I'll be down in a few minutes."

Remus gave Sirius a light pat on the head and grinned down at him. "Night, Padfoot," he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a chocolate bar before setting it on Sirius's bedside table. "You should eat this if you can manage it, because I know you're a stupid fucker and didn't eat any dinner."

Sirius glanced at the chocolate and sighed as a forlorn expression crossed his face. "You're right, I didn't. What a rookie mistake."

Remus shrugged. "It happens. Thanks for being my boot and rally partner. Eat your chocolate, and I'll see you in the morning." He turned to leave, then removed the cowboy hat and set it on top of Sirius's trunk.

"Hang on, don't you dare take that hat off, Moony!" Sirius chided, and Remus sighed and returned the hat to his head before exiting the room, chuckling.

Neither of them spoke for a moment after Remus left, and Mary stood gazing down at Sirius, full of affection for him even reeking of alcohol and unable to stand up straight. The bed creaked as Sirius moved over to make room for her and patted the empty spot next to him.

"Macdonald, why're you still standing there with all your clothes on?"

The open, almost vulnerable quality of his smile dissolved the defenses she had been building up since the drunken summer night Sirius had confessed to having feelings for her, only to be left with no memory of the conversation the next morning. The urgent, pleading tone of his words reminded her of the way he had sounded that night, and for a moment she couldn't breathe.

"Hang on, let me at least take your shoes off for you, you prat." She knelt by the bed and began to unlace his boots, then pulled them off and removed her own shoes before turning off the lights and crawling into bed next to Sirius. He smelled of firewhisky and cigarettes and leather, and she breathed in the familiar, comforting scent as she rested her head on his chest and draped her legs over his.

"You're still dressed," Sirius murmured, fiddling with the neckline of her t-shirt.

She reached under his shirt and ran her fingers over the scar on his chest. "So are you."

The bed shifted as Sirius sat up and tried to wriggle out of his jacket, but his arm got stuck and he nearly fell off the bed as he struggled to free himself.

"Fuck," he said when he gave up and collapsed back down onto the mattress. "Macdonald, I think I might be too drunk to shag."

Giggling, she sat up and helped him take his jacket off, then pulled his t-shirt over his head and tugged down his trousers. "That's all right. I kind of figured you were." She lay back down next to him and pressed her lips to his shoulder, feeling the ends of his hair tickling her face.

"I'm sorry, Macdonald." He reached over and laced his fingers through hers, then wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. "Will you stay and fall asleep with me anyway?" His words were no more than a whisper, and she held her breath to hear him over the sound of her pounding heart. "I dunno why, but I sleep better when you're with me."

"Me too." Sometimes she tossed and turned for hours or woke from nightmares in a cold sweat in her tiny room in her mother's London flat or in her four poster bed in the dormitory, but curled next to Sirius she slept through the night, safe and cozy in his arms.

"I always feel better when you're with me," he said. His words were becoming softer and more slurred as he drifted closer to sleep. He stroked her cheek and planted a clumsy kiss on her forehead, then sighed and nestled into his pillow. Mary thought he had fallen asleep when he squeezed her hand and spoke again. "I love you, Macdonald."

The words seemed to echo in the heavy silence that followed, even though his voice had been the barest whisper. Afraid to breathe or move, she waited on tenterhooks for him to say more. When he remained quiet she touched his shoulder and murmured, "Black?" The only response was the slow, steady breathing that told her he had fallen into a drunken sleep. The seconds stretched into minutes as she lay next to him, playing his words over in her head, before she had the courage to whisper, "I love you, Black." As she waited for her racing heart to slow she mouthed the words, savoring the way they felt on her lips, then pressed her forehead against Sirius's shoulder, reassuring and solid and familiar, and breathed in his scent as she fell asleep holding tightly to the whispered confession she knew neither of them would be able to repeat sober.

"Evans, are you ready?" James stood on the arm of a sofa, poised to toss the Quaffle across to Lily. She stood on top of a table, and Peter had taken a chair near the window. The three had been throwing the Quaffle for the past fifteen minutes, and the game became wilder and harder to follow as James continued to add new rules. The latest addition was that everyone had to shout something ridiculous before throwing the Quaffle. Like most of the rules, failing to follow this one meant the offender had to drink.

"Go Chudley Cannons!" James called before sending the Quaffle in Lily's direction. She caught it, although she spilled some of her drink and almost lost her balance in the process.

"Why does that count as shouting something ridiculous?" she asked.

"Because they're the absolute worst team," James replied, looking around for Sirius. "Damn, Padfoot wasn't even around to hear me have a go at the Cannons. That's no fun."

Lily laughed and thought for a moment, then raised her voice and said, "James Potter is a mature, responsible Head Boy!" before tossing the Quaffle to Peter. The ball veered to the left and landed several feet away from Peter's chair, and Lily swore and hopped down to retrieve it.

"That doesn't count as something ridiculous!" James crossed his arms and fixed Lily with an indignant glare. "I am a mature and responsible Head Boy!"

"Rubbish," Lily said as she climbed back onto her table with the Quaffle clutched in her hand. "You're standing on top of a sofa in the common room, drinking and tossing a Quaffle around."

"So are you!" James pointed out, laughing. "We're off-duty, so it doesn't count."

"Peter, what do you think?" Lily asked, realizing he had been silent through the entire exchange and glancing over to gauge his reaction only to find him fast asleep in his chair, snoring with his head resting against his shoulder.

"I thought he'd be okay standing up, but I guess I underestimated him. Or overestimated him?" James frowned and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm too drunk to figure out which." He jumped down from the sofa and strode across the room to Peter's chair, then placed his friend's arm around his shoulder and hauled him to his feet.

"Do you need help?" Lily asked, but James was already leading Peter to the staircase that led to the boys' dormitory.

James shook his head, then jerked Peter away from an armchair he was attempting to collapse into. "Nah, I'm okay. I'll be back in a few minutes, so you'd better not fall asleep too, or I'll have nobody to talk to."

"I can manage on my own," Peter said once they had started up the stairs. "I'm fine, now that I'm awake."

James released him and frowned. "You could've told me earlier instead of letting me half-drag you across the common room."

Peter shrugged. "I thought it might help you impress Evans," he said.

"You're the best, Wormtail," James said, grinning. "Don't ever let anybody else tell you different. Now I'm going to come upstairs with you for a minute, because I need you to listen to my drunk rambling and tell me if I'm an idiot or not."

Once they reached the dormitory, Peter opened the door and stepped inside, then frowned and backtracked.

"Padfoot and Macdonald are in there sleeping," he said. "That's funny. I didn't even notice that they'd gone to bed."

"That's all right, we can talk out here for a minute," James said, plopping down on the ground and leaning against the wall with his legs stretched out in front of him."

"Did I imagine this, or was Evans kind of all over you earlier?" Peter asked as he sat down next to James.

"No, she definitely was, that's what I'm about to drunkenly ramble about," James said. "I'm serious, though. Listen to this story and tell me if I'm the world's biggest prat, all right?"

Peter shot him a quizzical look. His blue eyes shone with the unselfconscious, earnest affection that he almost always displayed after a few drinks. "Of course you're not, but all right, go ahead and tell me and I'll give you my opinion at the end."

James nodded and ran a hand through his hair to steel himself. "Right, so earlier when Evans was sitting on the arm of my chair she kept sort of bumping her leg against mine, which was maybe an accident but probably not, and, you know, I didn't hate it. And then I accidentally touched her leg - like an actual accident, honestly. So I pulled my hand away, 'cause it seemed kind of bold and she was a lot drunker than I was at that point. And then I swear she grabbed my hand and put it back on her bloody leg. It wasn't her knee, either, this was upper thigh." He turned to look at Peter, agitation clouding his face. "Then I kind of panicked, because obviously it was fucking excellent, but I was afraid I was, I dunno, taking advantage, because she was so drunk and I was only buzzed, you know? So I asked if she was sure, and she leaned in close and whispered, 'Don't tell me what to do,' and then she ran her hand through my hair." He ran his hand through his hair to demonstrate. "She ran her hand through my fucking hair, Wormtail. Like, do you have any idea how many times I've imagined her doing that? And then she asked me if I wanted to take a walk with her, except it was obvious she didn't just mean take a walk, she meant take a walk."

Peter's eyes widened. "Shit, really?"

"Yup," James said, nodding. "And I fucking froze, and I obviously wanted to, but at the same time I didn't feel right about it, because I kept thinking, what if we snog or even shag, and then she sobers up tomorrow and ends up regretting everything? What if she thinks I'm a perverted arsehole for shagging her when she's too drunk to make decisions properly? And then before I had a chance to answer, Sirius came in all loud and obnoxious, and I just didn't say anything and we kept playing the game like it never happened." The words seemed to cost him physical effort, and he sighed and put his head in his hands. "I'm the world's biggest idiot, aren't I? I could've been alone in a broom cupboard with Lily Evans, and I just didn't say anything." He sighed again and looked up at Peter. "What's wrong with me, mate?"

Peter considered this for a moment. "I mean, do you want me to list everything? Because it's rather late already, and I thought you wanted to get back to Evans before she falls asleep."

"Sod you," James said, grinning.

Peter grinned back and shook his head. "There's nothing wrong with you, Prongs. I think you did the right thing. And it's not like you blew your only chance. She clearly likes you and wants to be with you, even if she's too nervous to act on her feelings when she's not drunk." A thought occurred to him and he touched James's shoulder in his excitement to share his idea. "Hey, you think she's still a lot drunker than you now, or not so much?"

James shook his head. "I think we're about even at this point. She's slowed down a bit, and I've definitely caught up."

"Well, then, maybe it's not too late." Peter gave his shoulder an encouraging pat and yawned, slouching down further.

"Thanks, Wormtail. And thanks for listening. Sometimes I have to talk things through out loud to make me feel less crazy."

"I know," Peter said, already drowsy. "I don't mind. I never do. Do you want to stay here and calm down a bit before you go talk to her? You still sort of have that agitated Prongs look. Talk me through Quidditch plays or something. Just don't be offended if I fall asleep."

"That's probably a good idea," James said. "All right, let me tell you what I'm thinking for the new players." By the time he finished he felt, if not calm and collected, at least less panicked and overwrought. Peter's breathing was slow and steady when James stood and murmured, "Night, Wormtail."

"Go get her, Prongs," Peter mumbled, standing up and stumbling into the dormitory with his eyes still half-shut.

Smiling, James set off down the staircase, his hopes soaring in spite of all the missed opportunities and letdowns and almost-moments that would have dampened anyone else's expectations. Sometimes he considered it his greatest asset, while other times he cursed it as his downfall, but for better or for worse, James Potter's optimism was unrivaled.

"I'm surprised you're still awake," Lily said, sitting down on the sofa next to Remus and tucking her legs underneath her. "When you went up to the dormitory earlier I kind of thought we'd seen the last of you for the night."

"I know, I'm as surprised as you are." Remus sipped his drink and leaned back against the sofa, a lazy, relaxed smile on his face. "But I figured I should get out of there in case Sirius and Mary decided to attempt what would most likely be a very unsuccessful and unsatisfying shagging experience." He chuckled. "She never did make it back down here, so maybe they went for it."

Lily shook her head and took a sip of her drink, thinking back over the events of the evening. "Or more likely they just skipped the shagging and fell asleep in each other's arms, but they'll tell us otherwise because they don't want anyone else to know they did something so wholesome."

"That does sound like Padfoot," Remus said. "Such a bloody idiot, but you have to love him."

"I'm realizing that," Lily said, a fond smile on her face. "James too."

Remus glanced sideways at her and raised his eyebrows. "Yeah?"

She laughed and lay back, draping her legs over the arm of the sofa and letting out a soft sigh. "I'm going to tell you something, and when I'm finished will you tell me if I'm a complete idiot?"

Remus shrugged and stifled a yawn. "Go ahead, but I doubt you'll be able to top all the idiotic nonsense I heard Sirius spout tonight."

"Yeah, well, you haven't heard my story yet." Lily picked her head up to finish her drink, then set down the glass and slumped back against the couch cushions. "Right, so if you didn't notice earlier, I was what you lot call irresponsibly drunk."

Remus grinned. "I had no idea."

"Not that I'm sober now, obviously, but I was proper fucked up earlier. Sirius and I went out to the Astronomy Tower and kept drinking while you three napped, and we ended up sort of having a heart to heart." The memory of the conversation came rushing back, and she still couldn't quite believe it had happened. "Somehow Sirius Black has become one of my close friends. How in the world did that happen?"

"He doesn't give you much of a choice. But then again, neither does James."

"You're right," Lily said, sighing again. "Anyway, we talked about, er, some things, and I guess it got me thinking. I dunno what came over me, but, well, I…" Her voice trailed off and she pressed her hands to her face. "Merlin, I don't know if I can tell you this."

"I don't judge, Lily. I've seen Sirius dance on top of the Potters' dining room table wearing nothing but Chudley Cannons pants and that damn cowboy hat. I've let Peter describe in detail what it was like to shag Bertha Jorkins. I've listened to James go on about-" He grinned and shook his head. "Well, anyway, the point is I've heard it all, and I'm that perfect happy sort of drunk where nothing really bothers me, so just go ahead and tell me while I'm still awake to listen."

Lily giggled and glanced back at him. "Did Sirius really - actually, never mind, I don't want to know. All right, well I suppose the firewhisky made me a bit bold, and I got kind of, er, handsy."

"Ooh, how handsy?"

Lily giggled. "Not that handsy. Just a bit. I suppose it was more flirty than handsy. Anyway, I put his hand on my leg and played with his hair, and then I asked if he wanted to take a walk with me." The memory made heat rush to her cheeks. "And he just sort of gave me this deer in the headlights look-" She broke off and gave Remus an odd look when he burst into laughter without warning. "Why's that funny?"

Remus shook his head. "Never mind, I'm just tired. So what did he say?"

"Nothing! He didn't answer at all. You and Sirius came back and sort of interrupted, and then we kept playing Firecracker and I sat there feeling like a drunken fool because I basically threw myself at him and he wasn't interested at all!"

"You are a drunken fool if you think he wasn't interested at all," Remus said, yawning again. "He's mad about you, has been for ages. Did you say you put his hand on your leg? Merlin, that probably made his entire week. He's probably beating himself up for not going for it earlier."

"But why didn't he, then?" Lily demanded.

"He probably felt bad because you were so drunk. He was just looking out for you, I suppose."

Lily considered this. "I guess I was really drunk. That's very chivalrous of him and everything." She sighed and wrung her hands. "I just, bloody hell, I wish he'd been a bit less chivalrous this once. Because it's going to take me ages to get up the courage to make a move again. Unless he does. But what if I've scared him off somehow? What if he thinks I'm, I dunno, some sort of tart and he doesn't like me anymore? I think the only thing to do is to leave it to him to make the next move, because otherwise I'll look too eager. That might take a while, but it's all right. I can be patient. I think that's the best course of action, don't you?"

After letting the words tumble out Lily finally paused to draw breath and waited for Remus to respond. When she was met with only silence she sat up to find him asleep with his head resting against the back of the sofa, a peaceful expression on his features. She smiled and stood to retrieve the blanket that Remus always kept draped over the back of his favorite armchair before tucking it around him. With a start she realized all the other occupants of the common room had gone to bed, and she considered dragging herself up the stairs to the warmth of her bed, but the desire to see James was too strong. Instead she settled on the sofa next to Remus and pulled the blanket over her legs, then lay down to wait for James to return from bringing Peter to bed.

James jumped the last two steps and landed hard, emerging in the common room and scanning the empty chairs before spotting Lily curled up on the couch next to Remus. Seeing the two of them dozing side-by-side was so adorable that it almost made up for the stab of disappointment he experienced when he realized he had once again missed his opportunity. He stood watching the gentle rise and fall of Lily's chest as the soft sounds of their mingled breathing filled the otherwise silent room. She looked so content, yet part of him longed to make some sound and wake her, to see her eyes flutter open and a smile cross her face when she saw him standing in front of her, eager to take that walk after all. But he couldn't bring himself to disturb her, so instead he tugged the blanket up so it covered her arms and gave her one last lingering look before turning and heading for the staircase. The image of her sleeping form, her face so tranquil and untroubled and her body curled into itself to fit into the small section of sofa, stayed with him as he drifted off to sleep.

Sunday, September 11, 1977

The pounding headache started the moment Sirius opened his eyes and was greeted by the sunlight streaming through the dormitory window. He had not bothered to close the hangings around his bed last night, and the cheerful morning light filling the room made him want to pull the covers over his head and stay there for at least the next week. Muttering a colorful variety of swear words, he mashed his eyes shut to avoid the blinding sunlight and tried to sit up to close the curtains, but even the slightest movement brought on a dizzying wave of nausea. Also, there seemed to be something keeping his arm pinned to the bed, and he reluctantly opened his eyes again to find Mary stirring next to him.

"Black," she murmured, opening her eyes and pushing a frizzy lock of hair out of her face. "Bloody hell, you're alive."

"Barely." He attempted to sit up again, then groaned and lay back against the pillow. "Fuck, can you reach the curtains? If I move at all I know I'm going to be sick."

Mary slid out of bed and pulled the curtains shut before climbing back under the covers.

"I'm not surprised you feel like death. I think last night was the drunkest I've ever seen you." Her fingers began to trace slow, gentle circles on his back, and he closed his eyes as the soothing motion and the darkness provided by the curtains assuaged the throbbing pain in his head.

"I must've been in rare fucking form. I don't remember anything after I threw up in the sink and then went back to the game and drank half my drink in one go." The rhythmic movement of her fingers faltered as she started to laugh. "Fuck, Macdonald, don't stop. It's helping."

"Sorry." The light brush of her fingers returned and Sirius relaxed into her touch. "I guess that means you don't remember your tirade about how people are far too uptight about nakedness? You said, and I quote, 'What's the big deal? It's just a knob and an arse!'"

"Drunk Sirius is such a fucking delight."

"Drunk Sirius is something, all right," Mary said. "You also told us Remus looks great naked. Oh, and you said you'd love to moon Walburga."

Sirius burst into laughter, then pressed his hand to his head and grimaced. "Ugh, don't make me laugh. It hurts my head."

"Technically you're making yourself laugh, because you're the one who said it," Mary pointed out.

"Macdonald, I'm far too hungover for your sass."

"All right, all right. You'll hear no more sass from me," she said, moving her hand up to trail her fingers through his hair.

"I stand by everything I said, by the way," Sirius said. "What is the big deal about being naked? Remus has absolutely no self-confidence, so you gotta build him up whenever you can, and if that means I have to sound a bit silly in the process, I think it's a small price to pay. And fucking Walburga does deserve to be mooned. Honestly, I probably would've mooned her at my uncle's funeral if I hadn't been too busy trying to punch Orion. And if you're thinking I'm a disrespectful arsehole to even talk about mooning someone at a funeral, my uncle would've thought it was bloody hilarious." He sighed in contentment as he pictured how the scene would have played out. "Anyway, I'm not embarrassed by what I say when I'm drunk. I think drunk Sirius and sober Sirius agree on pretty much everything, it's just that the tiny shred of impulse control that sober Sirius has goes out the fucking window after a few drinks. So if I say something when I'm drunk, you bet your arse I meant it."

Mary remained silent, her fingers frozen in the middle of massaging his scalp. Sirius reached back and tried to nudge her hands back into motion, but she still didn't respond.

"Macdonald? I'm going to attempt to move, so be ready to move out of the way if I look like I'm about to vomit." With a supreme effort he rolled onto his back and turned his head to face her, emitting a piteous moan. When he had allowed himself to recover for a moment he reached out and touched her shoulder. "What's wrong? You have a strange look on your face."

The unfathomable expression on her face evaporated, and she shrugged before settling her head in its usual place on his chest.

"Nothing," she replied, running her fingers up and down his chest. "I was just, I dunno, spacing out. I'm still half asleep, I think."

Something in her voice told Sirius she was holding something back, but his foggy brain was too overtaxed by normal conversation to consider the matter any further. "What time is it?"

"It's almost 8:30," Peter said from underneath his blankets.

"Pete! I didn't know you were here. Or awake, I guess, or, I dunno. I'm too hungover to think. Is Moony awake too?"

The bed squeaked as Peter rolled over to check Remus's bed. "He's not there. I think he might've slept down in the common room. And Prongs is out running, obviously."

Sirius wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Even thinking about running right now makes me feel sick. What do you think, Macdonald? You up for going back to sleep and not moving for at least a couple of hours?"

"Yes, please." She pulled the blankets over them and draped her leg over his. "Night, Black. I hope you feel less horrible when you wake up again."

"Me too." He closed his eyes and dozed off, lulled to sleep by the familiar scent of her hair and the soft sound of her breathing.

"It's nearly noon, and I have shit to tell you. Get up, Padfoot, or I'm jumping on your bed!" James threw back the curtains around Sirius's bed and stood with his hands in his pockets, grinning. His smile did not falter, even faced with the full force of Sirius's glare.

"If you jump on me I'll bloody hex you," Sirius muttered.

"That'll be difficult, considering your wand fell out of your pocket down in the common room sometime last night," James replied, holding it up and twirling it between his fingers.

"I hope that sparks and sets your hair on fire," Sirius said.

"Well aren't you just a bloody ray of sunshine today." James sat down on the edge of his bed and fixed Sirius with a grin that he knew was infuriating.

Sirius sighed and propped himself up on his elbow to face James. "Prongs, I am the most hungover I've ever been in my entire life. I feel like I'm about to fucking die. No offense, but I am not in the mood for your cheerful, energetic bullshit, all right? Either be miserable and hate the world with me, or get out."

James sat in stunned silence for a moment before bursting into laughter. "Fair enough," he said, running a hand through his hair before slumping backwards onto his bed. "All right, I'm going to be miserable and hate the world with you. Macdonald, do you want to join in our world-hating misery?"

Mary laughed and threw back the covers. "No, I think I might go have a shower and hope that makes me feel a bit more like I have my life together."

"Ooh, you should use the prefects' bathroom," James said. "Password's still the same. Try the tap with the light blue jewel. Those bubbles always make me feel like I have my life together."

"Yeah, all right, maybe I will." She picked up her shoes, too lazy to bother putting them on, and headed for the door. "See you two later. Oh, wait, hang on." The clothing lying in a crumpled heap on the floor had caught her eye, and she bent to retrieve a pack of cigarettes from Sirius's pocket before tossing them onto his bed. "Here, this might help you feel less miserable."

"Cheers, Macdonald," Sirius said, feeling absurdly grateful for the gesture as he watched her leave the room, then stood and leaned unsteadily against the bed. "Hang on, I'm going to attempt to walk to the loo without dying."

When he returned a few minutes later, he collapsed onto his bed and lit a cigarette, the look of pain on his face easing slightly as he took his first drag.

"You all right?" James asked, flicking his wand at the window to open it. "I mean, I know you're half dead, but you kind of have that look. The brooding, Sirius Black look."

Sirius took a long drag on his cigarette and blew out the smoke in a long, slow stream before replying. "I, er, sort of had a heart to heart with Evans last night? I talked about my fucking feelings, Prongs. I always get a weird feeling after getting drunk and having those sorts of conversations, even if I don't remember the conversation." He frowned and put the cigarette to his lips again. "I don't like it. How do people stand talking about this shit all the time?"

James shrugged. "Just talented, I guess. So what exactly did you talk to Evans about?"

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Take a wild guess."

"Hmm… I'm guessing you told her you have feelings for Macdonald but don't want to start dating because you think you're too much of a selfish, impulsive tosser to be in a relationship and you're afraid changing things will ruin what you have. And then hopefully she confessed to being madly in love with me and told you how she's just dying to shag me." James grinned and handed Sirius the empty Butterbeer bottle that served as an ashtray.

"Last part is maybe a bit generous, but that's the gist of it, yeah." Sirius tapped his cigarette against the bottle to dislodge the ash, then looked across at James and grinned back. "I did tell her you look excellent naked."

"Cheers, mate," James said, nodding. "What did Evans say?"

"About you naked? She declined my offer of a detailed description, but I could tell she was picturing it."

James laughed and shook his head. "No, about the other bit."

Sirius hesitated, a bemused expression on his face. "She hugged me. She gave me a bloody hug and told me it's okay to be scared. Which sounds really fucking stupid now that I'm saying it out loud, but it did sort of make me feel better." He took another drag on his cigarette and met James's gaze through the smoky haze that now filled the air. "I don't know how or when it happened, but Evans has become a really good friend. She's a really good listener, when she's not telling me off. When you two get together, and you're almost there, mate, you really are, but when you get together, hang on to her, yeah?"

"I plan on it," James said, a thoughtful frown creasing his face. "But why did you talk to Evans about it and not me?"

"What's the point of telling you about it, when you just correctly guessed my entire conversation? You already know, Prongs. You always know what's going on inside my fucked up head." Sirius shook his head in amazement. "How do you manage it?"

"It's not exactly a mystery," James said, running a hand through his hair. "I've known you for six years. You're my brother. I guess I've just figured out how you operate." He hesitated for a moment. "Did talking to Evans convince you to do anything different?"

"Nah, not really. I told her I'd keep an open mind or some rubbish, but I'll probably just continue on with how things are, to be honest. I think we're both fine with things as they stand."

James considered this. "Do you think Macdonald knows how you feel?"

That balmy summer evening came crashing back to him. The memory overwhelmed him: the payphone gripped in his hand, the taste of the firewhisky on his tongue, the faint sound of Mary's voice over the phone, difficult to hear over the pounding of Sirius's heart. The words of his drunken confession echoed in his mind. Macdonald, I have feelings for you. He took a deep breath to steady himself, focusing on the cigarette in his hand and James's solid, reassuring presence.

"I reckon she does," he said, recalling their conversation just this morning: If I say something when I'm drunk, you bet your arse I meant it.

"Do you know how she feels?"

Sirius's mind returned to that same summer night, turning over Mary's response to his confession. She had not spoken for almost a minute, but when she finally broke the silence her words had made his heart leap: I feel the same way. Of course I have feelings for you. This memory always sparked a rush of joy, but nagging doubt wormed its way in through the cracks in his self-confidence and wore him down. Did she really have feelings for him, or was this just a passing comment, something she had said to appease him? Sometimes he felt so sure, but sometimes he agonized over it for hours, then berated himself for caring so much. He hovered on the edge of telling James about the entire payphone conversation, but decided he couldn't take that much emotional discussion in one 24 hour period.

"I dunno," Sirius replied, dropping his cigarette into the empty Butterbeer bottle and folding his arms behind his head. "Sometimes I think I do, and sometimes I'm not sure, but I don't know if it really matters."

James stood and took a Quaffle from his trunk, then returned to his bed and began tossing it from hand to hand. "Well, I'm not sure if you give a toss what my opinion is, but I think Macdonald is a lot like you. She's not the sort to come out and say how she feels about someone, is she? But it's pretty clear from her actions that she's mad about you. Why else would she put up with your obnoxious arse day in and day out?"

"You love my obnoxious arse," Sirius said, turning his head to face James and grinning.

"Yeah, I do. And so does Macdonald, I reckon." James shrugged and threw the Quaffle up towards the ceiling. "So if you're all right with that, if you're happy with that, then I don't see a reason to change anything. But if you ever want to know for sure, or need reassurance, or decide being in a relationship isn't so bad, maybe you should consider telling her how you feel."

Sirius nodded and sighed. "Maybe. I'll think about it. But not for at least a month of two. I've met my quota for talking about my feelings for a while." He rolled over and propped his head on his arm. "Anything happen with you and Evans last night? There's a whole bunch of the night that I don't remember at all."

"Oh, bloody hell, it's a whole thing," James began, sending the Quaffle into the air with more force than was necessary before recounting the events of the evening. When he finished, he slumped back onto the bed and pressed his hands to his face. "Did I blow it?"

Sirius chuckled. "Nah, it was the right thing to do, probably. It's just…" He shook his head and looked at James with an expression of mingled affection and exasperation. "It's such a Prongs thing to do."

"It is, isn't it?" James ran a hand through his hair and grinned. "So should I try to talk to her about it? Or just wait and see if she brings it up?"

"Hmm." Sirius tapped his fingers against the duvet as he considered this. "I'd wait. If you bring it up, she might get all weird or embarrassed or something. It's Evans, you know?"

James nodded. "Right. So I suppose I should also wait for her to make the next move, yeah? Leave it up to her? She'll like that, right?"

"Merlin, it's hard to know. I think that's a good plan, I guess. That does sound like Evans. Just, don't wait too long, all right? Give it a couple of weeks, and if she doesn't make another move, you should just go for it. Because you've waited long enough, mate."

"Bloody hell, I have, haven't I?" James set down the Quaffle and stood. "Are you still only up for laying around and hating the world, or do you think you could manage some lunch?"

"Ugh, I suppose I can hate the world while I eat," Sirius grumbled, heaving himself off the bed. "But keep your cheerfulness to a minimum."