Chapter 2: Emergency Meeting
(Insert "Tuneland Meeting" from Space Jam)
That evening, all of the toons gathered at the Union Hall, in the theater room that is. Wile E. Coyote who was sent flying by the tightrope from the cartoon, "Beep Beep!", came crashing through the roof and onto the floor. At that moment, Daffy Duck came, wearing a towel and holding a scrub brush. He stepped onto Wile E.'s nose as he walked in. "Stop the music," said Daffy. He shoved Foghorn Leghorn aside. "Hey!" said Foghorn. "Top duck coming through! Geez! Its getting so a guy can't even get himself wet around here." said Daffy, looking annoyed. He turned to Bugs. "So, what's the big emergency?" asked Daffy. Bugs Bunny was tied up in chains, with the Nerdlucks standing next to him. "Uh, these little guys would like to make an announcement," said Bugs. He passed the microphone to Pound. "Here you go, shorty," said Bugs. "Go," said Pound's companions. "All right, All right," said Pound.
Pound cleared his throat and then spoke. "You, all of you are now our prisoners!" said Pound, grinning evilly. Everybody was silent, but not for long. They began to laugh loudly. "Ooh, we're in big trouble now," said Sylvester tauntingly. "My knees are knocking!" said Yakko. Pound was embarrassed by their laughing. Then, Nawt took the microphone to continue saying their threat. "We are taking you to our theme park in outer space," said Nawt. "No fooling," said Blanko. "An amusement park? I love amusement parks! Narf! Which is the best ride to go on?" asked Pinky. "You know, if you wanted us to come to your amusement park to begin with, all you had to do was sell tickets to us," said Yakko. "No, no, no, no. You're not going to Moron Mountain as guests. You're going there . . . to be be our slaves and placed on display to the amusement of our paying customers," said Nawt. All the toons just rolled their eyes.
Just then, Fifi La Fume stepped forward. "Do you really sink we're going to give een to your demahnds zat easeely?" asked Fifi. "What do you mean?" asked Pound. "Hahven't you nahticed? We outnumbair you mahny to five. You five ahre outmahtched," said Fifi. "Uh, Pound. The skunkette's got a point, Pound. We are outnumbered," said Blanko. Pound slapped Blanko in response. "Who asked you, Blanko?!" asked Pound. "Oh, fear clutches to my breast," said Daffy. He and the other toons continued laughing. Suddenly, Yosemite Sam jumped onto the stage, firing his guns. "We ain't a-going nowheres!" said Sam. "Yeah! Show them who's boss, Sam!" said Monty. Sam pointed his guns at Pound. But Pound took out his laser gun and zapped Sam. Sam's clothes, hat, guns and even his mustache & eyebrows were vaporized, leaving him in his underwear and all charred.
Almost immediately after that, Elmyra began to run toward the stage. "You're so cute! I want you to be my newest pets!" cried Elmyra. Pound remembering how Elmyra's abusive toward animals from watching the monitors, he wasted no time defending himself. The orange Nerdluck zapped Elmyra, leaving her looking like a burned out match. Fifi and Furrball were trying hard not to laugh. Arnold the Pit Bull stepped onto the stage. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you five to weave," said Arnold. Pound zapped him too, leaving his fur burned. Seeing how dangerous the Nerdlucks were, Daffy and all of the other toons put their hands up. All the Nerdlucks pointed their lasers at them.
"Eh, not so fast, doc. You can't just turn us into slaves, that would be bad. You've gotta give us a chance to defend ourselves," said Bugs, taking off his chains with ease. "Oh yeah? Who says?" asked Pound, pointing his gun at Bugs. "Says who?" asked Nawt. "What?" asked Bupkus. "Just a sec," said Bugs, writing a note. He then took out a book, which was "How to Draw Cartoon Characters". But he scribbled over draw and wrote "capture". "There. Read 'em and weep boys," said Bugs. Pound took the book and he and the other Nerdlucks saw a note that read, "Give them a chance to defend themselves". "What's this?" asked Blanko. "Huh?" asked the Nerdlucks. "Give them a chance to defend themselves," said Nawt. Bang rolled his eyes and groaned. "Aw. Do we have to?" asked Bang. "It's in the rule book, Bang," said Nawt. "It is," said Bupkus. "Okay, it is in the rule book," said Blanko. "Uno momento. We have to confer," said Bugs as he went into another room along with Daffy Duck, Porky Pig, Elmer Fudd, Sylvester and Dr. Scratchy. Everybody else had to wait outside.
Fifi La Fume turned to her fellow toons. "Whaht do you sink Bugs ahnd ze others ahre plahnneeng?" asked Fifi. "I don't know," said Minerva. "But I'm sure he'll come up with a plan. Bugs always does, Fifi," said Buster. "I hope you're right about that, Buster," said Plucky. Fifi turned to the Nerdlucks. "Why does your bahss wahnt to ahdd us speceeficahlly to hees zeme pahrk?" asked Fifi. "'Cause business is going bad," said Pound. "Like, how bad?" asked Shirley. "This bad," said Pound, taking out a business chart. The line went down so far that it was extending out of the chart. Everybody were surprised at this. "That's why he wants to make you all his slaves," said Pound. "Leesten here, Pound. Eef you tahke us fahr frahm our plahnet, you'll be letteeng down ahll of our ahdahreeng fahns, especially ze cheeldren. Zey lahve us ahnd need us to keep zem laugheeng," said Fifi. "She's right about that too," said Blanko. Once again, Pound smacked Blanko for his stupidity. "Say what you want, girlie. But that won't get us to cease our mission," said Pound. Fifi crossed her arms. "Hmph. So you wahnt to do ziss ze hahrd way," said Fifi. "Well at least nobody would miss Elmyra," said Plucky. But he said it to himself.
(End Music)
(Insert "General Bugs" from Space Jam)
Inside the meeting room, Bugs was standing in front of the American flag, wearing a military uniform. "All right troops. It is for us to choose a battlefield that affords us," said Bugs. "Oh, I-I g-got it," said Porky. "Yes, Private Porkster?" asked Bugs. "How about we challenge them to a spelling bee?" asked Porky. "Say, we could have a bowling tournament," said Elmer. He let out a chuckle. "Thuffering Thuccotash! What's wrong with all of ya? I say we get a ladder. Wait til the old lady's out of the room, then grab the little bird," said Sylvester. He imagined himself doing all the stuff as he spoke. He wheezed as he imagined himself having Tweety in his grasp. "Whoa, whoa. Take a deep breath Sly," soothed Bugs. Sylvester calmed down, panted and nodding his head. "And you wonder why people don't like you, Sylvester," said Daffy. It was lucky for him that Sylvester didn't hear him.
"Okay, Let's analyze the competition here. Dr. Scratchy if you please," said Bugs. "Ja," said Dr. Scratchy. He pulled down the chart of the Nerdlucks. "Now, vhat are looking at here? Ve got a small race of inwading aliens," said Dr. Scratchy. "Small arms, short legs," said Daffy, doing a Nerdluck impersonation. "Not vewy fast," said Elmer. "Tiny little guys," said Sylvester. "Can't jump high," said Porky. "Uh-huh," said the toons, smiling. They knew what to do. They pulled up the chart and went outside to the Nerdlucks. Bugs spun a basketball around his finger. "We challenge you to a basketball game," said Bugs. "All right basketball is is!" said Pound. "Basketball!" said Bang. "Basketball!" said Nawt, jumping and clapping happily. "Oh boy, Oh boy," said Bupkus, wagging his tail like a puppy dog. "All right!" said Blanko. But then, the Nerdlucks realized something. None of them didn't know what basketball was. "What is basketball?" asked Blanko. "What's that?" asked Bupkus, shrugging. "Beats me," said Nawt. "We didn't have that in school," said Bang. "I have no idea," said Pound. "What?" asked Bupkus.
(End Music)
"Lights!" said Bugs. The lights turned off as an educational move about basketball started to play. "Pardon me. Sorry," said Foghorn as he was trying to find a seat. He was in the way of everybody's view. "Hey! Down in front!" said Barnyard Dawg as he threw his popcorn. It hit the loudmouthed rooster in the head, causing him to fall down. The movie started to show basketball's history. "An exhilarating team sport currently growing rapidly in popularity is basketball. Unlike football and baseball, only five men can play on a team. It's a fast-paced, razzle-dazzle game that requires wits and even faster reflexes. Here's how it's done in the professional ranks, the national basketball association, featuring the best players in the world," said the narrator. As the Nerdlucks watched the film, they were now starting to understand what basketball was. Then, a sinister idea began to form in their devious brains. "The best players in the world," said Nawt. "The best!" said Bupkus. Pound had an evil smile.
Well, the toons have challenged the Nerdlucks to a basketball game. But it seems the Nerdlucks have an idea to get the advantage. And those who have seen the original movie know what it is . . .