Chapter 12: Playing Dirty
(Insert "Crush 'Em" from Space Jam)
Marvin blew the whistle, signaling the end of the time out. Wile E. Coyote had the ball and was running down the court, dribbling it. Pound, Nawt, and Bang charged at him. "Defeating time, boys!" said Pound. Wile E.'s eyes widened in horror. The Monstar trio hit him hard. So hard that his body was broken to pieces. His eyes laid on the floor as his arms and legs landed around his eyes. One of his arms held up a sign that said "Ouch!". Porky stuttered with fright. "Ya, gee . . . !" cried Porky. Bang and Bupkus butt-slamed Porky, flattening him. Pound stepped on Sylvester, who had the ball. "Goodbye!" said Pound. Michael had the ball. He tried to get past Pound and Bupkus, but Pound backhanded Michael in the head, smiling meanly.
Elmer tried to score, but Bupkus elbowed him down to the floor. Foghorn had the ball, running to the hoop, but Bupkus hit him with the back of his fist. Nawt kicked Taz. Bupkus used Tweety as a golf ball and was gonna Foghorn as a golf club. "Fore!" said Bupkus. He hit Tweety with Foghorn. Tweety screamed as he was sent flying. He landed hard on the bench where Granny, Dawg, Sylvester and Taz was. They looked at him with sorrow. Brain had the ball, but Pound grabbed at him. "Come on here, you little lab rat!" said Pound. However, Brain used his robot's cyber strength to break free and was grappling onto him. "You wanna piece of me?! You wanna piece of me?!" asked Brain. "No!" said Pound as he grabbed Brain's robotic suit. He then began to pull the robotic suit by the limbs. "I want two!" said Pound. And with those words, he ripped Brain's robotic suit into two halves, spilling parts and lubricants everywhere. Brain fell out of the robotic suit in the process. Pound then threw the destroyed robotic suit onto the floor and Brain got crushed by the two halves. "Brain!" cried Pinky. "Worry about yourself!" said Bupkus. He then stomped on Pinky's robotic suit, destroying it and injuring Pinky.
Bang tried to attack Arnold the Pit Bull with his fists, but Arnold blocked them and the two were in a hand lock. Suddenly, Blanko kicked Arnold in the back, causing him to yelp. Bang then delivered a hard punch in Arnold's face, breaking his sunglasses and some of his teeth. Nawt sneered as he charged at Elmyra who had the ball. He shoulder rammed Elmyra, sending her flying onto the ground screaming. She landed on the ground with a crash! And then, Pound, Blanko, Bupkus and Bang began to trample all over her as they chased after Babs. All four tackled Babs, taking her out for the rest of the game. Daffy looked up and saw Bupkus behind him. The purple Monstar smashed Daffy with his hand. He lifted up his hand and saw Daffy was stuck to his hand like gum. "But, mommy, I don't want to school today," said Daffy in his daze. Pound had the ball and he elbowed Michael, glaring nastily at him. Now Daffy was stuck to Bupkus' face. "I want to stay home and bake cookies with you," said Daffy. Bupkus started to pull Daffy off of his face. His face was on the verge of being ripped off to the point you could see his skull. When Daffy was finally pulled off, Bupkus' face got scrambled.
The Monstars continued to take out the Tune Squad, one by one. Blanko stomped on Dizzy Devil into a pancake. He then grabbed Sweetie Pie and threw her into the air. The blue Monstar then whacked her like a tennis ball, using the flat Dizzy like a tennis racket. Sweetie crashed into the wall, hard. "Lob fifteen," joked Blanko. Pound stepped on Bimbette's tail and prepared to punch her. "You would hit a woman?!" asked Bimbette. Pound punched Bimbette, knocking her out. "Yes," sneered Pound. Julie Bruin also got clobbered too. They Monstars also mauled Montana Max. Not even Buster Bunny and Plucky Duck were safe from the Monstars' wrath. The Perfecto Prep students were also pulverized.
Bupkus had grabbed Furrball, restraining him. Bang was preparing to punch him. "Just hold him still," said Bang as he cracked his knuckles. Fifi gasped in horror when she saw what they were doing. The purple skunkette ran just as Bang was executing the punch. But before Bang's fist could connect with Furrball, Fifi stood in front of Furrball and she got punched in the side, taking the blow that was meant for Furrball. Everybody gasped when they saw what happened. Fifi fell to the ground after getting punched. Fleur covered her mouth in horror. "My bahby!" cried Fleur. Ash and his friends saw what happened on TV too and they were horrified too. "Fifi," said Pikachu quietly. Furrball was shocked at what had just happened. Then, he got really angry. So angry that he had enough strength to break free of Bupkus' grip. "Hey! What the?!" asked Bupkus. "You . . . just made . . . a big mistake!" yelled Furrball. He leapt at Bang and began to claw at his face. "AAAAUGH! GET OFF OF ME, YOU MANGY CAT!" cried Bang. Then, at one point, Furrball was attacking his lower body. Bupkus then tried to kick Furrball. But the blue cat dodged and Bupkus ended up kicking Bang in the crotch. All the men cringed at the sight of the brutality. Even Mr. Swackhammer found it painful. "Did I miss?" asked Bupkus. "No, you got them," groaned Bang.
Pound climbed up the hoop backboard smiling. "This is gonna be fun," chuckled Pound. He leapt off the hoop toward Lola, who was unaware Pound was about to attack. "I'm open, I'm open," said Lola to one of the other players. "Lola, Lola, heads up," said Bugs. Lola turned around to see Pound doing a belly flop and he's about to crush her. "Belly flop!" said Pound. "Look out!" cried Bugs. Bugs pushed Lola out of the way and he got crushed instead. Lola rolled around and was shocked seeing Bugs crushed by Pound. She gasped in horror. "Oh my! Bugs!" cried Lola. The crowd gasped in horror too. "Bugs!" cried Lola, running toward Bugs. "Is this your man?" asked Pound mockingly as he got off of Bugs, chuckling.
Bugs was flat and was twisting in pain. He then became un-flat. Lola ran to Bugs, kneeling down to check on him. "Are you okay?" asked Lola, with worry. "Me? Oh, yeah I'm fine. Are you okay?" asked Bugs. Lola smiled. "Oh, Bugs, thank you," said Lola. "Aw. it was nothing," said Bugs. "That was the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me," said Lola. Lola then grabbed Bugs by the cheeks and gave him a big kiss on his lips. She then walked away. Bugs' eyes turned into red hearts, blushing with awe.
"Time-out," said Michael, signaling a time out. At the bench, the majority of the toons were injured really badly. Wile E. has casts on his legs and right arm. With his left arm, he held up a sign that said "Extreme pain!". Sam was charred and moaning in pain. Sylvester has a big cast around his body and his head was detached from his body. Speedy was stuck in the mouse trap. Elmer was in a straight jacket. "The Monstars. The Monstars," mumbled Elmer. Barnyard Dog had a lot of bumps on his head. Foghorn Leghorn had turned into a roast chicken and was hooked up to an I.V. Fowlmouth was turned into a chicken nugget and also had an I.V. Granny had a cast around her neck and was in a wheelchair. Both Elmyra Duff and Sweetie Pie were in full body casts. Hello Nurse was tending to the injured Warner siblings. Taz was out cold and Witch Hazel was giving him electric pads to revive him. "Clear!" said Witch Hazel. The pads shocked Taz and he twitched around. There were words on his chest that said "Eat at Joe's". Tweety was laying next to a machine that said "Acme, Iron lung." Pepé Le Pew had bandages around his tail, his right arm was a sling cast and his right leg had a cast too. The Roadrunner had a neck cast too. Beaky Buzzard was completely covered in bandages. Daffy Duck's legs were all casted and his beak had been ripped off. Fifi La Fume had a bandage around her torso.
At that moment, Fleur along with Brigette and Jean-Claude came down from the stands and went to Fifi. "Fifi! Fifi!" cried Fleur. "Mahthair, Brigette, Jean-Claude," said Fifi. "Ahre you okay, leettle sees?" asked Brigette. "I dahn't know. I'm ahfraid I wahn't be ahble to play fahr ze rest of ze gahme. Zat punch really hurt my sides," said Fifi sadly. "Zat wahs very reesky of whaht you deed," said Fleur. "I'm sahrry, mahthair. But I deedn't wahnt zem to hurt Furrbahll so bahdly," said Fifi. "Aht least Furrbahll's steell ahble to play," said Jean-Claude. Fifi nodded.
Michael was pacing back and forth thinking. Besides him, Bugs, Lola and Furrball were the only players that could still play. "Okay, we need a fifth player," said Michael. "Hey coach, listen. You got anymore of that secret stuff?" asked Furrball. He flexed his muscles, but they deflated. "I think it's starting to wear off," said Furrball. "It didn't wear off. It was just water. You guys had that special stuff inside of you all along," said Michael. "Yeah, yeah I knew that. But listen you got anymore?" asked Furrball. "Yeah I'll take double," said Lola. "Er, can I have some too?" asked Porky. Beaky Buzzard nodded to Michael, Michael rolled his eyes before turning to Stan. He decided that he needed to be the fifth player. "Stan?" asked Michael. "Yeah? Uh, me?" asked Stan. "You're in that center," said Michael. Stan smiled and chuckles happily. "Just guard the big guy okay?" asked Michael. Stan took off his jacket, revealing a Tune Squad uniform. It had 96 on the back. In the process, he accidentally knocked down Beaky Buzzard. "Guard him? Guard him? I'll smother him! I'll be all over him like a cheap suit! I'll be on him like stink on rice! I tell you he's going down!" said Stan. Then, he fell down.
The game resumed now that they had a fifth player. Marvin passed the ball to Lola and she passed it to Michael. Michael dribbled the ball and the Monstars charged at him, surrounding him to try to steal the ball. Stan ran into position. "Michael, over here. Over here, over here I'm open, I'm open!" said Stan. Michael threw the ball to Stan and he caught. But then, he saw Bang roaring and jumping at him. Bupkus ran toward Stan too. He shoved Lola Bunny aside, causing her to yelp and crash onto the ground. Before Stan could run, he got crushed by him along with Bupkus, Blanko and Pound, dog piling him. The ball was sent flying out of Stan's hand and into the hoop, scoring three points. "Yes!" said Michael. The crowed cheered. "Nice shot!" said a Nerdluck Slave. Mr. Swackhammer slammed his hand down to the Nerdluck, not happy about it. The four big Monstars got off of Stan. "Big man pancake!" said Pound. "Hey no fair," said Blanko. Stan was flat as a pancake. "Ooh!" said Bugs, Lola and Furrball.
Just then, a medical siren sounded as Chester and Spike the Dogs approached Stan with a stretcher. "Let's get him out of here!" said Chester. Chester put an air hose in Stan's mouth and he and Spike pumped him up like a balloon til he was fatter than before. Spike pulled the hose out of Stan's mouth. He made a farting noise as he deflated the air out of him flying through the ceiling. "Eww!" said Lola, holding her nose in disgust. The Nerdluck slaves groaned in disgust. "Oh, my," said Pepé. He put a clothes pin on his nose. Stan landed on the stretcher and was back to his normal self. The crowd applauded as Michael looked on the dogs wheeled Stan away.
"How'd he do that?" asked Michael. "Aw, anybody could do that doc. Even you. Watch this," said Bug. He grabbed Furrball by the neck. "Watch what?" choked Furrball. Bugs stretched the blue cat's neck. "See? No sweat. This is Looney Tune Land," said Furrball. Michael understood Furrball and he sees the time. They only have ten seconds left. The Monstars had 77 points, while the Tune Squad had 76. "Ten seconds ago? Thanks for telling me doc," said Michael. Just then, everybody heard a yelp, causing some people to gasp. It was Lola Bunny, who was clutching one of her legs in pain. "Lola!" cried Bugs. "It must've happened when Bupkus shoved Lola when he was charging at Stan!" cried Furrball. "I'm afraid I won't be any good for the rest of the game," groaned Lola. "I hate to the bearer of bad news, your airness, but if you don't find a fourth and fifth player, your team will forfeit the game," said Marvin, looking worried. "Forfeit?" asked Michael. "Precisely, sir altitude," said Marvin. "No way. We'll find someone," said Michael. "But who's gonna take Lola's place?" asked Bugs.
"I will," said a voice. Everybody turned and saw that it was Penelope Pussycat, all dressed up in a Tune Squad outfit. "Penelope?!" asked Bugs. "Oui. Eet's my time to shine. Now we just need a fifth playair," said Penelope. Right on cue, Bill Murray arrived and hummed fanfare, wears a Tune Squad uniform and a red shirt. The back of his outfit had 22. The crowd cheered loudly, Michael and his friends were surprised to see him. Mr. Swackhammer was so surprised that he jumped from his seat. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! I didn't know Dan Aykroyd was in this picture!" said Mr. Swackhammer. He thought he was the other Ghostbuster actor. "That's . . . Bill Murray!" cried Norman. "Isn't one of the actors from Ghostbusters?" asked Max. "I recognize him! That's Bill Murray! He was in Ghostbusters along with Groundhog Day and Caddyshack!" said Brock. "Hey! Perhaps, I could be of some assistance," said Bill. Michael Jordon smiled. "That's our fifth guy," said Michael. Bill walked up to them and gave Michael a high five. "Thanks Bill. Now you get to live up your dream. Let's go," said Bill. "All right," said Bill.
Things are getting hectic. As you saw, Furrball and Penelope Pussycat are in place of Daffy and Lola. I originally wanted to Fifi as one of the final players, but ToonFanJoey suggested that Furrball be one of them instead. I added two more allusions to two other movies. Can anybody guess what they are? Next chapter, will the final moments in the game.