Hi everyone! My name is Jess and I LOVE The Vampire Diaries!!! Just to clear something up I live in South Africa not in the UK!!! I have been reading Fanfics for a few months and I love reading them so I decided to try and write my own one!!! I am totally OBSESSED with Vampires and supernatural stuff so that will be the stories that I write!!!

I LOVE GOD AND JESUS!!!! AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO SHOW IT!!!

I live in South Africa and so please understand that I use the British spelling of words.

Here are a few funny Forward things that I've found that I hope will make you smile! Or if you're like me laugh so hard that you sides hurt!!!

This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't.

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a line-up to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 percent of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 percent of the people that read this won’t repost it?

Repost this if you truly believe in God.

Vampire Diaries Copy-Pastes

AV is Addicted to Vampires

WIWAVS is Wishing I Was A Vampire Syndrome

DSISS Damon Salvatore Is Sexy Syndrome

If you support vampire rights, copy and paste this into your profile.(if they existed lol)

If you are on Team Damon, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever dreamed of having a vampire love you, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you are addicted to Vampires and would like to become one, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that Damon Salvatore ROCKS, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think Damon Salvatore is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile. (He's BEYOND sexy)

Vampire Diaries Quiz!

Elena or Katherine?
Elena

Stefan or Damon?
Damon!!! Hands down!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Elena or Bonnie?
Elena

Bonnie or Katherine?
Katherine

Elena or Caroline?
Elena

Bamon or Delena?
Delena!!!!!

Stelena or Steferine?
Steferine!!

Caroline/Damon or Caroline/Stefan?
Caroline/Stefan,

Tyler or Mason?

Tyler

Anna or Vicky?
Anna

Tonnie or Bamon?
Bamon FRIENDSHIP! (Damon is for Elena!)

Stelena or Delena?
Delena!!!

Books or show?
SHOW

Jenna or Isobel?
Jenna!

Caroline: vampire or human?
Vampire! She's way better now!

Lexi or Rose?
Lexi!

Bonnie or Caroline?
Bonnie!

Endgame?
Delena!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Beremy or Delena?
Delena!!!!!!!

Quotes

-Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

-You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder!

Never knock on Death's door-ring the bell and run away. Death really hates that

-Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

-I'm going to live forever, or die trying.

-If I had something good to say, I would have already said it.

-They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

-I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my readymade fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole!

-The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it is unfamiliar territory.(i don’t really know why but this happens to me a lot!)

-Love me or hate me personally I could care less

-Unless you've lived my life, don't judge me because you don't know, never have & never will know every little thing & detail about me

-Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over

-Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dyslexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self-esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.

WHAT A KISS MEANS

Kiss on the stomach = "I'm ready"

Kiss on the Forehead = "I hope we're together forever"

Kiss on the Ear = "You're my everything"

Kiss on the Cheek = "We're friends"

Kiss on the Hand = "I adore you"

Kiss on the Neck = "we belong together"

Kiss on the Shoulder = "I want you"

Kiss on the Lips = "I love you"

What the gesture means...

Holding Hands = "we definitely love each other"

Slap on the Butt = "That's mine"

Holding on tight = "I don't want to let go"

Looking into each other's Eyes = "I just plain love you"

Playing with Hair = "Tell me you love me"

Arms around the Waist = "I love you too much to let go"

Laughing while Kissing = "I am completely comfortable with you"

picking someone up off their feet = "that they love them fully and would do anything for them"

--Advice--

Don’t ask for a kiss, take one

If you were thinking about someone while reading this, you're definitely in Love.

Copy any of these below into your profile if they are true about you:

If you believe that the reason the girls always kiss the guys first is that the guys are too scared that they'll be slapped, punched, hit, kicked or mid wiped, copy and paste this in your profile

If you think it's stupid that girls are associated with the colour pink. copy and paste this in your profile

If you're so obsessed by something that you're actually beginning to scare yourself. copy and paste this in your profile

IF YOU BELIEVE IN GLOBAL WARMING. copy and paste this in your profile

If you are obsessed with fan fiction. copy and paste this in your profile!

98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't copy and paste this in your profile

Ninety-three percent of the teen population would die if Hannah Montana or The Simpsons said it wasn't cool to breathe. Copy and paste this if you would be part of the seven percent that'd be LAUGHING YOUR BUTT OFF

If you think it is strange Mental anxiety, mental breakdown, menstrual cramps, menopause, did you realize how all our problems begin with MEN. copy and paste this in your profile!

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. If you agree copy and paste this in your profile!

If you ever talk to yourself or talk to someone who says "Are you talking to me?" or "Who are you talking to?" in any language C+P this in your Bio

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! If you are really random put this on your profile.

If you've ever tried to lick your elbow and knew that it was physically impossible, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever busted a move/burst into song randomly, copy/paste this into your profile.

If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile!

If you have a scary crush on a book, TV show, movie or game character copy and post this into your profile

If you ever talk to yourself or talk to someone who says "Are you talking to me?" or "Who are you talking to?" in any language C+P this in your Bio

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile!

If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you like to read people's profiles when you're bored, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever laughed during something sad and depressing and ruined a moment, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you find people questioning your sanity, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever had a brilliant idea, then forgotten it, C+P this to your profile.

If you've ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects, copy this into your profile.

If you could read that, paste it in your profile :D

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you are a nerd and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever looked for someone or something a million times, and are still trying to find them/it, copy this into your profile, and then keep on looking.

If you're a CHOC AHOLIC -TALK AHOLIC -OR A-SHOP AHOLIC then copy and paste this!

If you have ever read something and had something a teacher said the next day remind you of what you read to the point where you burst into outrageous stifled laughter and had your "peers" look at you strangely or point and laugh at you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever had done something or said something that made perfect sense to your real friends and only caused your "peers" to look at you strangely and roll their eyes, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile.

If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile .

If random songs just pop into your head at any given moment, from 'I've Been Working On the Railroad', to the Animorph version of the Barney song to your most favourite song ever, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy this into your profile.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, obsessive or anything similar, copy this into your profile.

If you like chocolate, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you frequently use words that your spell checker says don't exist, put this in your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile.

If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile.

If you have ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away then remebered, copy this into your profile.

If silence is golden... is duct tape silver!

If you agree that Remus Lupin is right when saying that chocolate fixes everything, copy and paste this to your profile.

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

STRESS: A condition brought on by over-riding the body's desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it.

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

If you've ever burst out laughing while reading a book and people looked at you weird, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever wished a book character was real so, so, so incredibly bad, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If Bella and/or Edward were about to jump off a building, 95% of teenage girls would start crying/yelling at them not to jump. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 3% who would yell "JUMP!" Or the 2% that would push them off!

65 percent of Teenagers spend more time watching TV rather then read. If you are part of the 35 percent who read more that watch TV then copy and paste this to your Profile.

If you want to be a writer and fanfiction is just the beginning, paste this into your profile.

If you ever were told to go somewhere and you forgot why and you had to go back to find out copy this into your profile!

If you get bored easily post this on your profile.

If you are good at annoying people (especially on loooooong car journeys) copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever turned around and questioned how you got on those subjects after an entire conversation, copy and paste this in to your profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think rock-paper-scissors solves everything then put this in your profile!

If you've ever had a dream about an anime/book/video game, etc. character, copy this onto your profile.

If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

"If there's a book you really want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it." Toni Morrison

If you fantasize about meeting one or more of the characters you made up, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you can listen to a song and match some of the lyrics up to your life, copy and paste this onto your profile.

42 Things to do in an Elevator

1. CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. MEOW occasionally.
6. STARE at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7. SAY -DING at each floor.
8. SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9. MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16. ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21. SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22. CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.
23. MAKE car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. CONGRATULATE all for being in the same lift with you.
25. GRIMACE painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. WALK on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. WHILE the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. LET your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. WALK into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. TAKE shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. ASK people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. ALSO in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. ASK, "Did you feel that?"
34. TELL people that you can see their aura.
35. WHEN the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. ANNOUNCE in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. DRESS up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time...
38. START breathing heavily and grab your chest when someone walks in. Then stumble out gasping for air
39. WHEN someone comes in ask them to press 5 or 6 different floors
40. GET in and don't press any buttons. Wait for the elevator to be called somewhere and repeat 39.
41. IF you are the only one in the elevator, press all of the buttons and stand, staring at the door, waiting for someone to come.
42. LAUGH maniacally whenever anyone looks at you and say you're here for the mental health convention.

16 things to do in Walmart.

1.Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2.Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3.Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
4.Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5.Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
6.Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7.When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8.Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9.While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10.Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
12.Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13.When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
14.Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
15.Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, Pikachu, go!"
16. Stage a conversation with your shadow then when you walk through a shady area, scream that your friend is missing.