A/N: A bit of speculation about what was said between Julia and William before he took the train to Montreal to look for Harry. The last few lines of dialogue between them in this story are from the episode "Everything is Broken, Part 2".

"Do you really think Harry will try to find his mother by himself?," Julia asked as she and William left Station House 4 late one evening. "You think he'll try to make his way to Montreal without an adult to take him?"

"Yes, I believe so. He's quite intelligent, and he seems quite independent for an eight year old...no doubt he's learned to be so because of the many times he and Anna have had to flee a city quickly to escape the Black Hand." Pausing, William grimaced slightly. "I wonder how he got the money for a train ticket. Maybe she sewed some cash into his clothes, or I suppose she might've stashed some in a secret place he knew about. His suitcase is still at our house, right?"

"Yes, I think so. I'll check when I get home."

William flagged down a cab, offering the driver a large tip in return for above average speed, and they quickly climbed in. As they drove on, he continued his musings. "But since we don't have all the facts yet, I have to go with my instincts in this situation. He's gone, and I have to go after him...I can't let him try to navigate that city by himself. A boy his age, alone in Montreal? If something happened to him, I'd never forgive myself. He's my son...he's my responsibility from now on. I have to find him...I have to protect him from the Black Hand and any other problems that might arise...and I have to leave as soon as possible...preferably tonight." He glanced at his wife, knowing she wouldn't take kindly to his next statement. "And yes, I have to go by myself. I know you might want to help me in this endeavor, but I'm concerned for your safety, too, Julia. I have no idea what I'll be up against in Montreal, and I can't bear the thought of putting you in danger as well. I hope you understand my decision. I know it's not what you want, but...the thought of the Black Hand going after you...I can't live with that..."

Biting her lip, lest she'd say something she'd regret, she let go a ragged breath. "Of course I understand, William. And I suppose there's always the chance that Harry may find himself back in Toronto while you're gone, so I need to stay home...just in case…"

"Very true." William reached over to take her hand. "I'm sorry you've been tangled up in this difficult issue. I hate that you've been dragged into this."

She turned away, hoping he wouldn't see her tears. "I'm your wife, so your difficult issues are my difficult issues, too. As a married couple, we should share each other's burdens as well as our joys."

They rode in silence the rest of the way home. After paying the driver handsomely, William quickly strode into their bedroom and took his valise from the closet, opening it on the bed so he could fill it with necessities.

Julia leaned against the doorframe, watching with interest as her husband packed his bag. He was preoccupied, muttering to himself as he went through his mental checklist...the picture of concentration as he put some spare clothes and his shaving kit in the suitcase.

After a few minutes of studying him, she coughed softly and entered the room. "William, before you leave, there's something I need to tell you."

He inhaled sharply as he arranged his belongings in the valise. It had been his past experience that any conversation starting with that phrase was likely to be unpleasant. He looked up at her, trying to smile. "Alright...but can you tell me while I finish packing? We'll need to leave for the train station in less than an hour."

She shook her head as she sat on the side of the bed. "No. I want you to come sit by me. I want to make sure you're listening to what I have to say." She patted the empty space next to where she was sitting. "I promise it will only take a few minutes, and then you can do whatever else you need to do without being disturbed."

He knew it would be a waste of valuable time to argue with her. "Alright…" He sat down next to her and looked into her eyes. "What is it?"

"I'm...I'm sorry for the way I reacted when you told me about Harry being your son. I know I was harsh and scolding...as if I was angry with you, but…"

He shrugged off her apology. "You had a right to be angry. I'd just given you some shocking personal news, and you thought I'd been hiding it from you…"

"No...I didn't have the right, and I shouldn't have been angry. I should've known that you'd have other women in your life besides me." She brushed away a tear before continuing. "When I married Darcy, I felt like it would only be a matter of time until a wonderful man like you would find someone new as well. Any woman with half a brain would want an honest, intelligent, upstanding gentleman such as yourself…"

He grimaced as he studied his nails. "Any woman except you…"

She cringed when she saw the pain in his eyes. "We've already been over that many times, William. I did want you, but I chose to let you go so you could have children of your own...children I couldn't give you. I know now it was the wrong choice to make, but at the time, it seemed to be the only correct option. However, we can't undo the past." She reached over to take his hand. "I knew, as painful as it was to admit to myself, that there would be many other women who would be interested in you, and it was unrealistic of me to expect you to ignore them and thus remain unmarried. I couldn't very well expect you not to fall in love with someone else and then wed and start a family. With your being a healthy adult male, I knew you would have emotional and physical needs...needs that could only be met by a woman...by your wife...and it was selfish of me to fail to recognize that truth when we talked about Harry's parentage that evening at the station. What you did with any other woman while I was married to Darcy is really none of my business…and I have no right to be upset with you about any of it." Swallowing her tears, she whispered, "I'm so sorry if I hurt you with my scolding words. Will you forgive me?"

"Julia…" William leaned over to kiss her. "You have nothing to be sorry for. You reacted in a perfectly normal way when you heard some rather unexpected news. Believe me, I felt the same way when I figured out who Harry's father is." He smiled as she put her head on his shoulder. "But I believe the rest of your supposition is most likely incorrect. I'm very fond of Anna, but I've never been in love with her...not like I am with you. What happened between her and me occurred because we were both desperately lonely...and she was scared, and I was worried for her...and we took comfort and solace in each other's arms for a few hours. I'm embarrassed to say that I gave into my baser 'needs', as you put it. I should've resisted, but…she was there...and she wanted me..."

"And you needed to feel that way...as if someone wanted you...that someone cared for you..."

"Perhaps...or perhaps it was just sinful lust on my part, plain and simple." He paused, groaning softly. "You may not know this, but before she left town that evening...after we faked her death...I offered to marry her, since we'd engaged in carnal relations together…"

Julia gasped in surprise. "You did?"

"Yes, of course. I felt that she had the right to expect that of me...that I'd make an 'honest woman' of her, if you'll forgive that tired turn of phrase...but she refused my proposal, I think partly because she finally realized that our being seen together would be quite dangerous for us both, but also because she knew…" He sighed softly. "She knew I'd never love her the way I love you, Julia." He caressed his wife's face. "When I'm with you...when we make love...it's so very much more of an unbelievable feeling than what I felt when I made love to Anna. Making love with you touches me to the depths of my soul. It's irrational, I know...but...it's true…that because I love you so much more...it means so much more to me..."

Julia blinked back her tears, determined not to cry. "I completely understand what you mean, William…and you're correct...it's an unbelievable feeling...and it does mean more." Pinching her lips together, she patted his knee. "You should finish packing if we're to arrive at the train station on time. I'll let you get to it."

"I'm almost finished." He bustled around the room. "We should've had the cabbie wait, I suppose…"

As she walked towards the bedroom door, she turned to face him. "William...you will come home to me, won't you?"

He looked at her in disbelief. "Do you really need to ask that question? I've vowed before God to have you as my wife for as long as I live..."

"But that was before you knew about Harry…"

"Julia, darling…," William replied, taking her into his arms. "Nothing...absolutely nothing...will ever change how much I love you. I know things are at odds right now, but you have to believe me...I will always love you, no matter what happens with Anna in Montreal. You do trust me, don't you?"

She nodded. "Of course…" Trying to smile, she ran her hand down his chest. "I'll see if I can find a cab…"

"Excellent." He watched her walk away, wondering what he could do to convince her of his love and loyalty. Checking his watch, he grunted in frustration. "We need to leave…"

A cab was at their door in a few minutes, and the promise of a nice tip helped the driver make fast time towards the station. As they passed through the quiet streets of Toronto, William and Julia tried to make small talk, but there was still too much pain between them at that moment...too much to be said and not enough time to say it.

"Will you please let me know when you arrive in Montreal? And where you'll be staying?" Julia gave William a pleading look. "I'll probably still worry, but it'll help if I know where you are…"

"I'll send you a telegram as soon as I can." He made his way through the crowds and hurried to buy his ticket. "The train is leaving in ten minutes. I need to board immediately…"

Julia, however, was determined to have her say. "So, you're going on a hunch?"

Trying to ignore his own exasperation, William nodded. "He's my son, Julia. I have to find him!"

"And his mother…," she added.

"If she's alive, yes."

And if she is, will you come back to me?"

William tried to remain calm. She still doesn't understand how I feel about her! Could I make it any more obvious? "Of course…"

Provoked by his stoic demeanor, Julia prodded him. "Even if it means leaving your son behind?"

He didn't respond, simply kissing her cheek before striding away, suitcase in hand.

As Julia left the station, she brushed away a tear. It seems that I'm still paying for my past mistakes...still paying for letting him go all those years ago. If I'd stayed with him instead of giving him up and then marrying Darcy, none of this would've happened...

She climbed into a cab and pondered the situation as she went home. She did trust William...and she knew he loved her deeply, but for some reason, she still couldn't quell her anxiety...or her jealousy.

"Will I ever see William again?," she asked herself. Sighing sadly, she paid the driver and walked inside their dark, empty house. "I suppose only time will tell…"

Thanks for reading. If you have time to review, I'd appreciate it. Laura.