She was due to meet Hannah and Neville in an hour. She'd picked a quaint little cafe just off the Royal mile but she was nervous. It had been a long time since she'd seen them and she had no idea what had been said in her absence. Harry and Neville had always been friends, she hoped this wasn't a fact finding mission, she wasn't ready to see Harry yet, she wasn't sure if she ever would be.
She had accepted his apology via George but if she were honest, it just felt like more of the same. He always apologised eventually but the pattern remained and she couldn't do it any more. She was settled for the first time since school, she had a handful of friends, her daughter and the amazing Helen. She didn't need the drama that Harry brought with him. She admitted that maybe he had changed, God knew she had, but George had never mentioned him or Ron since the conversation of how sorry Harry was, and she hadn't asked.
She assumed that he was now married to Ginny, possibly with a child or two; he'd always wanted a family. On the whole though, she rarely thought of him anymore, not wanting to deal with the pang of sadness that came every time she thought his name. He had been the centre of her world her entire time at Hogwarts and it was strange in many ways for him not to be here at all. But it was better that way, there were only so many times she could let him hurt her and now saving the world did not rest on their shoulders, she could finally walk away.
"Hermione!" Nevilles voice brought a wave of affection, she had missed him.
"Look at you! You look all grown up!" she laughed, teasing the boy who had been her first friend. "Hannah! Oh my goodness, congratulations! You're glowing, when are you due?"
Hannah pulled a face before pulling her into a hug. " Late January. And I am definitely not glowing, I feel like a whale."
Hermione snorted. "I remember it well. It's going to get worse before it gets better I'm afraid."
"You have children?" Neville asked in surprise.
"One, Cordelia, she's two."
"Wow Hermione. You're someone's mum!"
"And you're about to be someone's dad." she laughed at him as he pulled a face.
"Makes you feel old, doesn't it?" he said softly with a wry smile.
"Often." She laughed. " As I'm constantly reminded though, we're not old, we're apparently in the best years of our life!"
"Is she with her father today? They could have come, you know."
She pulled a face, hesitating as she decided what to say next. "Her father is not involved. He wasn't ready for the responsibility apparently. She's with her nanny, she had some sort of music class that she absolutely refused to miss. If you're staying for a while, you can come and meet her, they'll be back in an hour."
"I'd really like that Hermione," he said softly. "I've missed you."
She swallowed harshly. "I've missed you too Neville." before she laughed. "Although you might decide to retract that after spending an afternoon with a toddler, especially as one day soon you'll have one of your own. It's too late for refunds!"
Hannah laughed at her. "Please don't! I'm terrified enough as it is!"
"Mumma! Mumma!" A tiny voice singsonged through the house as her daughter barrelled into the room. "I sawd your jacket, and I know'd you were here. Who dat?"
Smothering a grin, Hermione pulled her daughter onto her lap. "These are Mumma's friends, Mr and Mrs Longbottom. And this little imp, is Cordelia."
Neville grinned at her. "As I told Severus last week, Mr Longbottom makes me feel simultaneously old and like I'm still at school, please, for the love of Merlin can she call me Neville?"
Hermione felt her eyes go wide. "Severus?"
"Ah yes. We've become almost friends. And yes, I am absolutely aware of how bizarre that statement is. He asked after you, sends you his best. Oh, and before I forget, he asked me to to ask you to please get in touch with Minerva, she misses you."
"I….I'm not entirely sure what to say to that statement, Neville. You and Professor Snape as friends makes my brain hurt."
Hannah laughed. "Oh it's odd alright. But they're surprisingly good for each other. Severus is, softer, almost. Not soft, don't get me wrong he's not hugging crying firsties or inviting the older students to discuss their problems but he's less….caustic."
"Wow. Well, tell him I'm asking after him and I'll try and get in touch with Minerva. I really should have before now but things have been...busy" she gestured at her daughter who had wriggled onto the floor in search of toys, clearly bored with the adults' conversation.
"She looks just like you," Neville commented in awe.
She snorted at him "I'm aware. I'm sure she'll hate me for that hair in a few years."
Helen walked into the room then, "Sorry to interrupt love, do you want me to take Miss Lia and let you chat or is she staying here?"
"I'll keep her Helen, go and have some time to yourself." gesturing at Neville, "This is Neville, an old friend, and his wife, Hannah. We were all at school together. And this, is my saviour, Helen. I wouldn't get anything done without her."
Helen laughed, "It's lovely to meet you both. Other than that charmer George Weasley and the Minister, Hermione doesn't get many visitors from her old life. And don't let her mislead you, she'd be fine without me here, she just doesn't want to subject herself to roomfuls of toddlers with musical instruments."
Hermione laughed. "Can you blame me? I've always thought children's classes that require parent participation should come with a bar."
Neville and Hannah laughed, clearly thinking she was joking. "You may laugh now, but come back to me once you've sat through a Caterpillar Music class led by a woman who I swear must be on drugs. She's so damn bouncy! And she will insist on handing the babies and toddlers various instruments and, then, if it wasn't horrific enough, we're all made to sing."
Helen laughed as she winked at them, "See, told you that's why she keeps me around."
Neville let out a strangled laugh before he turned to Hannah asking "We don't need to do that right?"
Hannah shook her head fervently much to Hermione's amusement.
Longbottom appeared perky, Severus noted as he walked down to the Great Hall in search of dinner. The students would be arriving back at the end of the week and he intended to make use of the castle's stillness while he could.
"Evening, Severus" the man smiled as he caught up with him.
"You are disgustingly cheerful today. May I inquire as to why so I can ensure you avoid it next time."
Neville laughed. "Nope, you don't get to do that today. I had lunch with my oldest friend, and nothing you can say will make me miserable today."
"Miss Granger?" he asked intrigued.
"Yes. She asked after you. She's doing well, which is a relief."
"I'm glad." he said at last, not sure what to do with the feelings her name conjured. It was odd to still miss a witch five years after her disappearance, wasn't it? She had been tolerable for such a short period of time, it confused him. Still, he hadn't many friends, maybe that was the reason he mused; she had been one of the few people who could keep up with him intellectually and intelligent conversation was hard to come by.
"You saw Hermione?" A voice behind them exclaimed and he watched as Neville's face grew wary.
"Yes."
"How is she?"
"She's fine, Harry." he replied with a sigh. "Settled, happy."
A pained look passed over Potter's face, so much so that Severus was starting to believe he was genuine in his regret. "I'm glad she's ok." was what he said finally. "If you see her again, tell her….tell her I'm sorry and she was right. She always was. And I hope that she's doing well."
Neville nodded shortly, taking his seat next to Septima Vector and engaging her in conversation, shutting down any more attempts from the-boy-who-lived-to-question-him. The man looked utterly forlorn for a moment, before he too took his seat. Eating slowly, not engaging in the conversation around him. That was interesting, Severus noted. Maybe the boy had finally grown up.
He sat down between Neville and Minerva, listening to the discussions about the upcoming year, contemplating the witch that appeared to be stirring everything up again.
"Oh, Severus, I forgot. Hermione sent me away with this for you. She said she thought of you instantly." Neville handed him a parcel wrapped in brown paper. "It came to her through her work but she has no real use for it any more, she thought you might appreciate it."
He opened the parcel, inside was a first edition of Potion Opuscle. His jaw dropped.
"She cannot possibly mean to give me this."
Neville grinned. "She's Hermione Granger, since when has she ever not meant to do something. Of course she did."
"I...I am unsure what to say."
"I believe thank you is customary" Neville responded with a laugh. "I can't give you her address but I can pass on anything you wish to send to her."
He glanced at the book, still feeling stunned. "I would be...grateful, if you would." he said finally.
"Did you say you'd seen Miss Granger?" Minerva's voice cut in.
"Today. She said she'd write to you Headmistress, and apologised for not doing it sooner. Her life has been a bit hectic."
"How is she?" Minerva asked. Severus noted Harry Potter listening intently, an unreadable look on his face.
"She's well. She seems happy. Her work is entering a bit of a lull over the next month or so, so Hannah and I have said we'll try to catch up again in a couple of weeks, you could join us. She'd love to see you."
"Oh." The woman looked slightly teary. "I think I may take you up on that Mr Longbottom. I'd desperately like to see her again.
Neville had seen Hermione. He hadn't expected that to hurt as much as it did. She'd sent Snape a book, clearly one that impressed him given his expression and Minerva was going to see her soon. It felt like she was slowly creeping back into their world but still she hadn't acknowledged his apology. He wanted to be angry, but mainly because anything would be better than the horrible pain he felt when he thought of her. He knew he was to blame, he knew that she didn't deserve his anger but her absence hurt. And instead of lessening with time, it seemed to get worse.
"You ok, love?" He hadn't realised Ginny was here. He looked around for the two tornados that usually accompanied her, realising they weren't there. "Mum has them." She responded to his unasked question.
He nodded. "Neville saw Hermione today, they're meeting again in a couple of weeks."
"Oh." She said softly.
"I don't know what to do, Gin. I miss her. I know I fucked up, but I really just miss her."
She sighed, coming to sit next to him. "I don't know what to tell you. I've never agreed with the way you reacted but you'd done it before I had a chance to stop you. I miss her too but I understand her staying away. You never learned, Harry, you chose Ron time and time again and she was always far more forgiving than she should have been. I can't blame her for having had enough. You'll just need to be patient, it's up to her now. You've apologised and maybe you'll just have to live with the fact that she can't forgive you this time."
"I don't want to."
"Tough, Harry Potter. You may not have a choice. And honestly, I meant what I said, I can't say I blame her."
He closed his eyes as he allowed the words to wash over him. The thought of Hermione never being in his life again hurt his heart and he wasn't ready to accept it but he also knew Gin was right. She had to come back on her own, he couldn't force her, however much he wished he could.