Zavvox
You have gained 5000 experience.
You have leveled up 1x [14 to 15] [1007/6393]
You have obtained 10 stat points.
You have obtained Skills: Burrow.
You have obtained Perk: Combined arms.
I… need to think for a moment. Okay… so put the 10 points into strength…
Str: 90 to 100 [200/800]
And that gives me the power to break that barrier keeping me inside… What are the things I've gotten?
[Burrow - forcibly burrows into the planet, merging it with you. When burrowed, your old god form will be physically bound to that spot until you've unburrowed, where it will deal catastrophic damage to the immediate area around you.]
[Combined arms - Your damage using your body will now do the same amount of damage as your best weapons.]
Okay… So that means my spears are almost useless in my old god form because I now just get that damage on all of my tentacles… Meaning I missed out on potentially getting a banger katana instead of a naginata.
I hate myself sometimes… Why is this a level 15 ability? Is it a warrior ability, because then that just makes anyone a monk or something. Is it an old god ability? Because that's more like a level 45 level perk, not level 15. There's got to be a better way to complain to the developers...
Now, in terms of real world events that just happened… WHAT THE FUCK, DRAMATIC?!
Hold on, let me check that fucking modifier again.
[Dramatic - You speak like a stereotypical evil god character. Thoughts are unaffected.]
Yeah, that's what the modifier says, but I DON'T SEE ANYTHING ABOUT TALKING SHIT I DIDN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT SAYING!
...Alright, so, what are my other modifiers that affect my personality? Because dramatic hasn't affected me this badly before and caused me to go into full on damage control.
[Gamer's mind [Villain] - A perk granted to every villain gamer. Removes most negative emotions that would impede being a bad guy. Perk will occasionally urge you to do things you normally wouldn't do. Immunity to most mind related spells.]
[To reach the peak - you have an innate instinct within you to fight other warriors and to come out on top.]
[5th rate manipulator - Your skills at the art of manipulations are so awful they leave anyone dumbstruck at how bad you are.]
Alright, so that's all my modifiers that affect my personality… so, I can probably ignore the second one, although I haven't really seen its effect yet, so no doubt it's going to come in at the worst time.
...Could it be 5th rate manipulator? But I don't think being bad at manipulation would lead me into saying things I didn't even think of saying… Maybe Gamer's mind? But I thought urging me to do something meant something villain-like, not literally giving up my greatest card…
...What if it was all 3? It might've been all 3 modifiers that made me do that, because otherwise, not adding in that dramatic would make me say completely detrimental things like that would just be a case of shit game design.
So, in this theoretical scenario, I end up in the bar. So, then, maybe, gamer's mind activated and wanted me to… what? Prove myself better than them? To do whatever, then. And then… 5th rate manipulator chose the worst route to try and make myself look better? But then in that scenario, all dramatic would be doing was making myself sound like an idiot… And since the scenario of saying things I didn't even want to say happened before this...
...Can I ask for an admin? There's got to be some reason why that happened…
"I summon forth the developers to answer my call!" I shouted out into the ceiling of my prison.
…
I guess they aren't watching right now… God, I hate this game sometimes.
So, I guess I'll have to act as if those 3 modifiers are going to ruin my life at any given moment…
System updated.
Title - Man, I hate rogues.
...Could it be? Have they answered my prayers?
Man, I really hate rogues. Every time we look the other direction, rogues get some innocent looking ability and they somehow turn it into the most broken thing in the game. Looking at you, TALMESH! How did you even manage to turn "Pickpocket" into "Heart-B-Gone"? What kind of sicko would even try that? - Jaeger
That… distinctively does not sound like my problem.
General [Modifiers, Abilities, Quests, Hard+ difficulties.]
Classes [Rogues, Rangers]
Wait! Modifiers! They must've answered!
Modifiers that affect memory, such as 'Forgetful' no longer affect your memories on your overall goal of your game, killing the enemy player.
Some abilities have been clarified in their descriptions to better explain the abilitie's effect.
Quests have now been updated to better describe what the quest is.
Also, every "The Enemy" quest, which is the quest to kill the other player, has been modified a bit to add "personally kill the gamer" which means no minion spamming or sending in teammates. If you die to a random mob though, that's still your own fault and you lose the game. Failure to comply results in you losing the game if it was completely intentional, or your levels are decreased by 25% - Jaeger.
Easy level zones are removed from difficulties hard and above.
That… didn't answer shit… I mean, I guess the questing and zone changes are… enlightening, but…
...Wait, is gamer's mind an ability?
[Gamer's mind [Villain] - A perk granted to every villain gamer. Removes most negative emotions that would impede being a bad guy. Perk will occasionally urge you to do things you normally wouldn't do. Immunity to most mind related spells.]
Let's see… absolutely nothing changed! Not a single thing! It has to be 5th rate manipulator somehow…
[5th rate manipulator - Your skills at the art of manipulations are so awful they leave anyone dumbstruck at how bad you are.]
Which hasn't changed one bit! What the hell, developers! It really can't be that gamer's mind and 5th rate manipulator are working together to make me blurt out shit that's actually detrimental to me!
...Wait, I'm on the extreme difficulty.
[Extreme - gain 75% more experience. All enemies are much, much harder. All enemies when they first hear of you will immediately attempt to track you down.]
Nope. I was thinking that extreme added some kind of thing where all things that could go wrong will go wrong, but I don't think that's the case…
Is it?
Damn it… Fine, I'll have to let it go eventually. I'll just act like my own words will betray me at any moment and I'll have to work overtime to damage control everything.
So! What now… Well, that letter from… Wow, it's only been a few hours ago… Either way, it told me that the level 10 mobs that attack me after I break the shield aren't too hard. So I guess I should trust myself, then.
Alright, deep breaths… Huh, this is the first time my true form has actually fought… What can possibly go wrong?
Using the tentacles on the back of my true form, I slammed against the blue barrier that was holding me in for the past few days.
The blue barrier shattered like glass, and the devices that were creating the barrier started to crack as well.
"ATTENTION ALL UNITS! ZAVVOX HAS BROKEN OUT OF HIS PROTECTIVE BARRIER! I REPEAT, ZAVVOX HAS BROKEN OUT OF HIS PROTECTIVE BARRIER!"
THAT SEEMS LIKE THE OPPOSITE OF BEING EASY?! NOW ALL OF ALRODAR KNOWS I'M OUT!
Suddenly, a huge burst of light came from around us, only to reveal…
A shit ton of enemies. Like, at least a hundred.
First response unit A
Angel
Level 10
Hp: 500
Notable stats:
None
Threat level: 1
First response unit B
Golem
Level 10
Hp: 500
Notable stats:
None
Threat level: 1
First response unit C
Zombie
Level 10
Hp: 500
Notable stats:
None
Threat level: 1
So, a hundred angels, golems, and zombies? What an unlikely trio… Well, army, I should say.
...Still, fuck.
"First response unit, pacify the target."
And suddenly, they all rushed me at their admittedly slow speed… So slow in fact, that I remembered that I have TEN TENTACLES ON MY BACK!
With just a few swings of my tentacles, who had recently been super-buffed by combined arms, my entire opposition has been destroyed, just like my anxiety of facing them.
Wow, that was almost disgustingly easy, it feels as if I was meant to break the shield a lot earlier...
"The Aodare system confirms the pacification of Zavvox. Situation resolved."
The what system?! Isn't that the name of one of the developers?
...Wait, if Aodare is the guy who built my prison, then why the hell would he add in a system that helps me? He's the guy who told me in my face to not try to fight against the developers… God, I hate mysteries. You know what, I'll just believe that Aodare didn't want me to fight several level 100 enemies at level 15, so his system is actually helping me.
This has been an awful day, it's night, I should just go to sleep or something. Sure, it's not the best use of my time, but I really want to sleep…
And without warning, fucking KUROGIRI shows up out of nowhere teleporting into here like he owns the place. I swear, wasn't this place teleport proof or was it something else?
"Zava- Oh? It seems you've broken out of your cell…" Kurogiri said.
I really, really want him to leave. But I probably shouldn't be rude to the butler of a guy who can probably kill me in 1 hit…
"It was a... recent development. Now speak, what is your purpose?" I asked.
Kurogiri shows a… phone?
"This is a phone that will allow us to communicate. You've been outside for a while, and one of your first public actions was to steal phones, so I believe you know how to use them?" he said.
I don't believe for one second that this thing isn't set up to spy on me, but I guess I'm forced to take it…
"I shall take it, then." and then I grabbed the phone with my mortal form, who's been standing next to me somewhat awkwardly… like a kid with his big dog or something. Wait, no, I'm getting distracted.
Kurogiri simply bowed, "Thank you."
And then he disappears without elaborating. What an asshole, this is really lending credit to my whole "gamer's mind wants me to establish myself over them" theory.
God, it's night, I've just realized I'm still at the bottom of the totem pole, and I want the relaxing feeling of sleep. This day has just not been for me, man.
Oiko
I have not the slightest clue what's going on, but the big dragon is dying, so I think that's good?
...At least the developers made me remember some things… I still have no idea where I am though...
To Himera, the guy who said that the dramatic modifier was taking too much of Zavvox's autonomy away, you're probably right. Unfortunately, I've done goofed and I've made it a somewhat major part of the story of dramatic doing stupid shit, and I really don't have it within me to actually write the whole fic for the 3rd time. But fortunately, past me somehow foresaw this happening, and gave me a convenient ass-pull.
You see, it's not dramatic who's at fault here. It's actually 5th rate manipulator and gamer's mind at fault. You see, what's actually at play here is that gamer's mind, which is on villain mode, says "I want to prove myself better than him" and nudges 5th rate manipulator, which then says "Yeah, I'm gonna tell him about my true god form to show I'm a god which will definitely make them shiver in fear and respect me." which then nudges dramatic to say out the words in a dramatic tone.
So you see, dramatic is the victim of cancel culture, and it's all gamer's mind and 5th rate manipulator's fault.
/s
Yeah, I have no idea what I just wrote either, and this is most definitely going to be a bad idea later on, but I don't have it within me to rewrite a lot of what I already wrote. I'll try to avoid a lot of the later decisions being made by the 3 abilities though. But considering my track record and my 2nd grade writing skills, I don't think that's going to end too well. I'll probably just end up resorting to the lazy "This is a full on crackfic now lmao"...
As always, leave a review because I'll probably read it and think about it too hard, and my bad for the short chapter, because I'm now clashing with "I need to do things that need to be finished." and "Man, I was just told I made a major mistake in my fic. I really need to fix it."
Also, I really need to take criticism better, because now I feel like shit now, and I probably will feel like shit when I get up in the morning. This seriously can't be healthy.