Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

It has been two years since I've seen this place. Two years of quiet. Two years without even so much as an itch from my scar, let alone the burning pain it used to cause me. Two years of pushing my luck.

I'm not really surprised. Voldemorte means Flight From Death after all. Why would he go quietly into the night when he can make it loud as hell? I look around and see the Death Eaters are not in cages this time but melded into the walls, with only their heads and upper torsos showing. That's neat, how'd he do that? It was a few thousand against one man after all.

Oh someone's talking. I turn my head and see the snake man gesturing wildly and yelling at me. Hmmm, did I upset him? I can't understand how, I'm apparently stuck in a wall too, though my part of the wall is in front of his throne. Lucky me.

I should really pay attention to what he's saying but I'm pretty sure it's just a repeat of last time. He's all powerful, immortal, and can't be stopped. I should probably put a stop to it before he embarrasses himself any further though.

"Ahem… sorry to interrupt you there Tom but I had a question." He seems shocked that I'm so calm. Oh and there's the snarl, here comes the outrage.

"HOW DARE YOU! I am Lord Voldemorte, Immortal, All Powerful, and you are defeated! Even your power is now my own! And I will make you watch as I rip the flesh from your friends while they still live!" He really is on a roll now. Always with the threats. I think he really might dislike me.

"Actually, I wasn't talking to you, Lord Voldemorte. I was talking to Tom, the one from the diary I met in second year." He has that constipated look on his face now. Is he surprised or just angry? I interrupted him again, unexpectedly as well, so probably both. I take that as my queue to continue.

"I just wanted to ask him to clear up something. As I was wondering, how do you decide who gets control? Does it go by age? Will you be dividing the days of the week between all of you? Each getting a day to be all powerful? Will you change your names to Lord Monday and Lord Tuesday or will you all be sharing one name? Would that be confusing or will-", "ENOUGH!" Wow, can he scream when he wants to or what? Use your inside voice already.

"No more stalling. Let's see if you are in a talking mood after I have flayed your friends!" Now that's an evil laugh if I ever heard one. Oh look he's glowing. Must be getting ready to leave. Oh look a crack. There's another. And another. That can't be good for his complexion. And boom.

Hmmm. He seems to have multiplied. Not sure if this is better or worse. "NOOOOOOOOOO!" I'm going to let them decide and say it's a good thing then. Oh they look angry. "You!" One is pointing their wand at me, and just got blasted from behind into the wall, head and torso all that's left. Neat. "If you won't let me lead then you can all stay here!" Catfight.

I'm just going to borrow that power myself if you don't mind. Thank you. Oh look another one imprisoned. Now, how do I get out of this half coffin. Oh there we go, just turn the wall around me into sand. Oops they noticed that. Five on one now, not looking good.

Oh they're monologuing again. All five of them. No, wait, the ones in the walls are getting in on it, yay. Well, while they're talking, I'm just going to touch this wall and turn the entire front layer to sand then. That should even the odds. Ah, look at them swarm those seven weakened versions of Voldemorte. Poor guys. Now just to touch the floor and sink every last one of them back into the stone while they're distracted. Aaaannnddd done. That'll do it.

I really should thank him in the end. I wouldn't have been able to deal with the horde of Death Eaters myself. And the wizarding world really has become a better place with all these evil assholes gone from it. If he didn't make that dark mark then they would still be terrorizing good people.

Oh that tingles. Hey look my hands are glowing. Oh my everything is glowing. Neat. Is this what Fawkes feels like before he expl- oh shit.