*Hits Head*
"Don't I have a patch note system specifically for the purpose of fixing my mistakes?"
Zavvox
You have slept. Status is fully restored.
System updated.
Title - Who the FUCK let Skryb work here?
Man, it feels like every other hour the system is being updated… It's probably just something that happened while I was asleep… On the floor… In a prison…
Wow, I sound pathetically sad.
That was a serious question. Who let Skryb go in and change things? Almost everything he's done to our system made it objectively worse. But considering that, somehow, the very fabric of the multiverse seems to want him to not die, we have to deal with him for the rest of time. The things we do for you players. - Aodare
General [Gamer's mind, Observe, Gacha, Modifiers, Quests, Levels, Experience, Difficulty, Worlds, Damage, PvP, Feedback.]
Classes [Warrior, Mage, Ranger, Rogue.]
Species [Heteromorphs, Old Gods, Cockroaches, Ghosts, Undead, Critters.]
That… Looks like a lot. Also, I can see that Aodare doesn't like Skryb that much… Since Aodare is the guy who probably made my prison, so could theoretically be called my… main god? Maybe I should curse Skryb for all my bad luck… Ah, I'll start top bottom like usual.
Gamer's mind's urges have been reduced significantly.
We had gamer's mind's urges set to a high frequency in order for you to actually act like heroes and villains, but it seems as if most of you did not need it in the first place. - Paradise
Gamer's mind will now make you more hostile to the other gamer.
One player ended up being sort of friends with the other, and you know, that's breaking the rules! That world ended up being shattered by Skryb, the only thing he's good at. - Gaienyan
Gamer's mind will now clarify twice as to what urges you have.
Threat level has been removed.
If you can't tell if something is dangerous just by looking at it, it's just natural selection at that point. - Aodare
Gacha rates for epic and above have been decreased.
I swear, some of you guys were getting like 5 legendaries in a row, how? - Skytoss
Some modifiers have been changed so they will not do things they weren't listed to do.
Some modifiers have been changed so you have more autonomy over your actions.
It was quite funny watching all of you be prisoners in your own body, but alas, if we wanted that for the long term, we would've just created automatons. - Paradise
...Could it be? After I finish reading all this, I need to check my modifiers again. I got jebaited once before, I'm not too keen on having that happen again.
Quests will now appear more frequently.
Quests will now show quest locations on a map instead of forcing you to find out yourselves.
Levels of most characters have been decreased across the table again.
Didn't make much sense to be able to fight people twice your level, it also makes it easier to see what a threat is and what isn't. - Jaeger
Decreased stats of most characters.
Sure, it may be funny looking at a level 50 person having 500 stats, but that isn't very real, you know? They'll still be around the somewhat same power level, though. - Paradise
Made Experience more even.
Nicer to look at. - Arbosist.
Extreme difficulty now adds "Makes your life miserable" to its description.
It's mostly just flavor text, but I'm sure that the 102 of you who play on the extreme difficulty can agree with its description. - Aodare
Major locations and characters in worlds are now closer together to avoid having to travel long distances.
Thank us later for saving you from having to walk through the entire country for your next arc that lasts half a minute. Trust us, it wasn't that fun. - M.G
Changed damage to only be able to deal rounded numbers. Nobody enjoyed having dealt 672 damage and having to think about that for a moment. That number would either become 700 or 670, depending on the mood of the system that day.
Players now deal 50% less damage to other players.
Had a situation where one gamer almost one-shotted the other gamer, and while that's good and all for you, we want to actually see you two fight. - Aodare
Feedback added to menu.
"Oh yeah, shouldn't we actually let the players give us feedback?" -Gaienyan this morning.
Oh wow, that's actually a lot… Do I want to check my modifiers now?... No, I should just finish reading this all… Well, not all, I should just go finish up the warrior section of the class changes and the old god changes.
Spear specialization has been changed to polearm specialization.
Cleave damage has been reduced.
Piercing damage now deals less damage.
Piercing damage now has a higher chance of critical hits.
Whirlwind is now not available to certain specializations.
Removed some abilities that made you do more damage if you do X. All of these abilities are now in the base function of how you play the class.
Wow, it feels like I ate a nothing burger… Well, I guess that means some less things for me to think about?
Heteromorph players will now create more sounds based on their species.
Old God's Combined Arms ability is now unlocked at level 30.
While the original intent of the ability was to let mages be able to have some semblance of physical damage on their original forms, we realized one day too late that warriors could abuse the hell out of this. - Sentrot.
Old God's whisper ability now has a distance limit.
Tendril ability has now been renamed to Tentacle.
Old God's imprisoned modifier will now have more prison presets.
Old God's minions are now 25% weaker.
While the fantasy of making a bunch of minions to go out and corrupt the world is great, we want to emphasize the quantity over quality part of it. - Crowned.
...I've been nerfed. Ahaha… Shit. Well, I'm glad I got out of my small cell before that happened? But I'm still faced with the daunting task of actually getting out of prison… Well, that's for another day.
Right now, I need to find out whether my hopes have been crushed twice in a row, or I'll finally be able to play the game I've been signed up for.
[5th rate manipulator - Your skills at the art of manipulation are so awful they leave anyone dumbstruck at how bad you are. Can be changed through repeated successful manipulation.]
[Dramatic - You speak like a stereotypical evil god character. Thoughts are unaffected. If you do not speak for long enough, you will begin to randomly say words that will be detrimental to you.]
[Gamer's mind [Villain] - A perk granted to every villain gamer. Removes most negative emotions that would impede being a bad guy. Perk will occasionally urge you to do villainous things you normally wouldn't do. Immunity to most mind related spells.]
Can… Can it be?! I almost want to believe it… I finally have a say in the shit I say! Oh, I really need to set up a shrine for those developers. I thought I lost all hope in them, but it's somewhat better now!
I still have to deal with All for One! God damn it!
I would pay a lot for a world reset… Well, I guess I'll have to deal with this.
But still! I can stop blurting out shit I don't want to say! I just have to, you know, actually talk to people instead of imitating being mute… Which I was already doing!
Ah, this is such a broken game… Yeah, no wonder why this is still in its… What, prototype stage? I've already forgotten the starting words of this life...
Well, you know what, I should probably-
System updated.
Title - WHY THE FUCK IS IT ALWAYS YOU TWO?!
...hah?
Every single time without fail, rogues and rangers constantly show up, mess the fucking game up, and leave, making everything worse. I'm going to gut your class to skin and bones and make sure nobody will be able to enjoy the class again. - Paradise.
Classes [Rangers, Rogues]
That… does not seem to be my problem! I do hope they figure out what the fuck is wrong with those two classes though, Paradise seems to be having a really bad day… He's acting like a semi-normal person throwing a temper tantrum at something he hates. I can't see this lasting for too long though...
Uh, as I was saying, I should probably check out the surface, maybe get some contracts going, and have a nice start to my day with my shining-new independence.
Akiya
Wow, Paradise really seems to hate rogues and rangers, she's really glad she's not playing one of those classes…
Also, she's pretty sure that Zavvox is the person she's fighting, which is a massive problem.
Fortunately, it does look like he got nerfed a bit… Ah, whatever, I need to prepare myself for the entrance exams which are coming in… 1 day?! I thought it was 3 or 4?! Wait, did changing the worlds to become closer together mean time as well?!
She's nowhere near prepared enough for this!
It would be a shame if she did all of the work she did so far just to not end up at U.A…
Zavvox
Ah, shit, I just realized that it's early morning… All Might is probably still somewhat active here… Uh, hold on, I swear I have a phone in my inventory somewhere… Ah! Here.
So, let's see here, google maps, a miracle that it's still alive, uh… Endor, no… Hosu? Maybe… Kamino, absolutely not… Craitar?! I swear, are all of these cities just star wars planets?!
Ugh… Maybe… Hosu? But that's sort of near some canon characters, and judging from my one encounter from Eraserhead, canon characters are a lot harder to kill than other people… Well, Endor's not an important place, and last time I went there, it had plenty of low level heroes, but then again, I think the developers removed low leveled zones a day ago…
Well, I guess back to Endor we go, despite it probably expecting me back… Ah, whatever, I need to kill time before… Before what, actually? What big event am I expecting? The USJ? The entrance exams? My meeting with the other player?
...How long is it until U.A starts anyways? Uh, phone, do your… 1 day?! Uh, okay… Maybe it's just a change with the world… Oh, the entrance exams are in one day, and the actual school starts in a week… which, what?! Time flies so fast when I'm having a miserable time…
...I should pick up a few contracts before I go…
Joy of Destruction [Skryb]
Kill 25 heroes that are at a higher level than you [0/25]
Skryb wants you to go out and cause destruction and suffering to the world. You know, the usual.
Rewards: 10,000 experience, 2 gacha tokens.
I have a feeling that nobody here likes me. Such a shame that I can effectively fight them all and win so they have to put up with me. Clowns.
Skryb sure is an asshole… I really want to figure out if I can exchange that summonstone for something else. At least his contracts are usually good. Although it really is a flip of a coin to figure out if he wants 100 dead or just a few...
Reigning Emperor [Crowned]
Have 100 minions [0/100]
Crowned is a man of high culture. That means he enjoys minions. So go out and get an army of them.
Reward: 15,000 experience.
Armies are great, what's not to love?
If All for One isn't being a bitch, the drone I gave him from yesterday should be placed in an area where it can grow and reach that count easily, giving me all the experience for basically free. Well, god willing anyways.
Puppet Strings [Paradise]
Have someone under your direct control, whether it be voluntary or otherwise [0/1]
Having a loyal henchman is almost as important as being on a team. So make someone bend to your will.
Reward: 20,000 experience. 1 gacha token.
Having someone listen to your every command is a wonderful feeling, almost as good as eating people. I implore you to have a taste.
I don't know why Paradise acts like that, but the rewards are good, so why bother? Also, this should help with my whole 5th rate manipulator thing...
Contracts accepted.
Joy of Destruction, Reigning Emperor, Puppet Strings.
Yep! And now… Endor we go!
Poor Endorians…
Akiya
Ah, there's nothing better than procrastinating on studying by going out into the city and starting to observe everything! For example, that creepy girl in the alleyway right there!
Himiko Toga
Villain
Level 50
Quirk: Transformation
Hp: 9,000
Notable stats:
Dex: 102
...Wait a second. Isn't that…
Toga looks at me and smiles, "Ah! You look so cute!" and then she lunges at me.
Ah, damn it... This is the opposite of good luck, you bastards!
Super Kick Man
Hero
Level 32
Quirk: Super Leg
Hp: 5,000
Notable stats:
Str: 55
Dex: 54
Cha: 70
Huh, well, they did say they lowered the stats a bit… Also, this painfully reminds me I need to increase my own dexterity badly. Also vitality and endurance.
I actually need a lot of things to go up, huh…
Alright, so here's the plan, I go in and start a fight. To test if I have more control over my words, I'm going to call him and idiot, and then tell him that he can't stop me, and god willing, I'll just dramatically call him an idiot and I won't have to deal with "I am zavvox and i proclaim you're dropping the world iq by 100" or something insane that I wasn't even thinking about.
Alright here goes nothing…
I drop into the street in front of the hero, who starts to say something.
"Zavvox! You dare desecrate our city with your body? My legs will kick you out!" He says with full seriousness.
...Did I sound like that? Uh, anyways, here goes…
"What a fool…" I say out slowly.
Yes… Now the next part…
"There is no person in the world that could hold me back, certainly not you."
That… Works? Yeah, I'll call it a success, I didn't drop any vital information, and the message of you can't stop me was conveyed… Now, my battle cry?
"Now fall before me, insect!"
It works! Wait, a minute, insect?!
Unfortunately, I didn't have much to think about as the hero started to do an extremely blatantly obvious kick at me, where I just noped out of there and slashed him with Grasscutter in the leg, where it seemed to only scratch the surface of the skin as usual.
1500 damage dealt.
Super Kick Man [3,500/5,000]
Huh, the damage is a bit different… Like intended, I suppose.
He throws a punch at me, but… Even with my 40 dexterity, his punch was one bit too slow, and I ended up grabbing it.
And then I held it for 3 seconds and looked at him… And nothing came out of my mouth.
Ah, truly, my time as a chuunibyou who can't stop speaking every 5 seconds is over…
Well, with my official declaration of my dark phase finally over, I used my 200 strength to crush his hand.
500 damage dealt. Hand has been broken.
Super Kick Man [3,000/5,000]
And I use Grasscutter to go for the neck a few times to secure the kill.
1300 damage dealt.
1200 damage dealt.
Super Kick Man has been killed.
Contract: Joy of Destruction [1/25]
2403 experience gained. [3410/6393]
Even my experience leveled out… Ah, this is a good day. Well, 24 more to go.
Omake
Tazandit
Is now a good time to mention he never played Skyrim before? He doesn't even know where he is right now...
This mountain is scary, there are some weird robe people everywhere, and he desperately wants to know where the nearest city is, but everything here wants him dead.
He really should've played Skyrim once in his life…
The reviewers really do be saving my fic huh.
And behold my ultimate move, doing all these changes and then blaming it all on my self insert. Genius play.
/s
Yeah, but you guys are literally single-handedly saving my fic from my shit writing. I don't even know how I forgot about the patch notes, a thing specifically designed so I can make changes where needed to essentially fix some of my mistakes.
And also to make the running gag of rangers and rogues being the developers least favorite class to balance.
Even while typing this, I have literally no idea where I'm going with this fic in general other than 'maybe the players meet next chapter idk.'
So, you know, we're looking at a pretty bright future here. Only the best possible outcomes for the future of the fic.
Also, I'm now going to steal all of your names to use as player and developer names now. If you protest this, I'd say it now.
One reviewer asked about what the heck is up with the whole Kurogiri being unable to tp into Alrodar at first and suddenly the next moment he can walk into Zavvox's cell as if he owns it, and I was actually thinking about that before I wrote it this time (rare, I know) and it's a garbage little plot thing I made up on the spot while writing that chapter that gets revealed when I get around to writing the prison break arc of the fic. Also, I realized that Kurogiri could theoretically just TP Zavvox out of there, so I also just added that "he can't do that" to the small plot thing in there too. It'll work out... eventually, maybe.
Also, he asked about Kurogiri not knowing where to teleport, and my only response to that is that I was under the assumption that Kurogiri needs coordinates to know where he's going, so I just made it so that Kurogiri always know where his own coordinates are at all time, and he can memorize that.
Uh, I feel like I'm forgetting something… Ah, if I forgot it, it probably wasn't important.
If you feel like I'm ruining the fic again, leave a review and tell me how and why.
If you want a certain omake to happen, leave a review. But I have shit tastes in media, so I'll probably have to do a little bit of "Research" on what the thing is about and probably get something wrong about it during the omake. That includes Skyrim, I'm just coming up with Tazandit's adventures on the spot based on what I've watched on youtube videos.
If you want to give me suggestions on where I could take the fic, leave a review.
I'll read over them all and become a masochist because of how much it hurts my poor unguarded heart to read actually valid criticism. But I feel like I became slightly better at writing and expanding my folder of "Shit not to do in a fic" so it's probably for the better.
[Do I even have a solid grasp on the personalities of any of my OCs? I don't think I do... Yeah, I can't see this going wrong at all.]