A/N:

Dinobotrex: I was thinking about adding Azula to the story but I won't be now. It'll just further complicate the story and add another layer to Aang that he doesn't really need. Maybe in another story i will. Sorry.

Ashley Barbosa: You thought THAT was a roller coaster of emotions. Hahahahahha, wait till you read this chapter :)

nateC183: yeah, I usually do back to back updates but lately I've been busy. BTW sorry for the wait either way, i hope you enjoy this update. Aang is quite hotheaded, but in this chapter, he's just... well, you'll see. :)

TheQuietReader23: yep, Katara caught Ty Lee and Aang. Katara will explain where it all went wrong soon, dont worry. I love Sukaang too, whether its romantic or sisterly. Sokka is upset about something, what that is will be revealed in the next chapter. You have almost nailed it with your prediction, great job, read on if you want to know what I'm talking about.

jonners2314: I'm glad you like it! How's your thumb now? I'm still waiting for that Crawling Out update.

one sad kataang writer: I'm glad you like it, thanks for reading :)

Okay, its a lighthearted chapter, lots of fluff and kataangness, so enjoy :)

XOXOXOXOXOX

Chapter 9: Sharing the Pain

"You little shit!"

I was barely able to dodge the flying dagger aimed at the shoulder strap of my tunic as I was still too shaken by what had happened earlier tonight. My lack of attention and awareness didn't stop the dagger wielding girl though.

Off note: I don't know why she was calling me little – every girl I've been with would beg to differ.

"What did you do?!" She shouted again as she threw another dagger, aiming for my dark trousers, which I dodged easily.

"What are you talking about?" I questioned, sounding bored despite the quickening pace of my heart.

"Ty Lee!" Mai shouted as she drew closer, now swinging her hands and attempting to land a few hits – she was met with no success. "She's a crying mess! What did you do?!"

I sighed.

'Looks like you got a lot of explaining to do.'

It had been a few months since I last saw Ty Lee. After our little… disagreement… I decided that I needed a change of scenery. So, I travelled; visiting the Air Temples, Southern Water Tribe – to help with the reconstruction – and the Earth Kingdom.

During my travels, Katara would continue to send me various letters which would contain various words all pointing towards the same message: she felt trapped, she was unhappy, she missed her friends and family… and she missed me.

The thought of raiding the Palace unexpectedly, knocking Katara unconscious, carrying her over to Appa and leaving a grimacing and upset Zuko – thus successfully kidnapping her – may have crossed my mind once, but I laughed it off. Of course, it was a funny thought; just a joke. I would never go that far, but a part of me did want to confront Zuko… and Katara; if she was as happy as she stated whenever we met, then why did she sound like she was miserable in her letters?

Either way, I shot the thought down when I realised that I'd see her in a few weeks in Ba Sing Se; it was the fourth anniversary of the end of the war, and Earth King Keui was hosting the celebrations this year. Last year it was the Northern WaterTribe, and the year before that the Fire Nation. Every noble, King, Queen, Councilman and woman, and 'hero of the war' would be attending – which meant that all my friends would be present, including Katara and Zuko. So, in a few weeks, she'd be afforded the freedom she so desperately desired – hopefully.

The party went well… until it didn't; Katara and Zuko were on edge, Toph was arguing with Satoru, Suki was attempting to drag Sokka from the buffet table to no avail, and Ty Lee – after glancing at me for a mere second – broke down and ran away crying, with Mai chasing after her worried.

As I stepped outside for some air, this happened. So, here we are.

"Well?!" Mai yelled, still swinging at me while simultaneously trying to pin me down with her daggers. "What did you do?!"

"I didn't do anything," I gritted out, trying to ignore the red slash of blood trailing down my leg – it was a lucky shot.

"Oh yeah?" Mai snorted rather angrily, "then why did I catch her crying a couple minutes ago?! Why was she mumbling your name while sobbing her eyes out?!"

She continued to swipe at me with her daggers while I stayed true to my heritage; dodging and weaving with ease as I attempted to voice my reasoning at the same time. Which, I soon discovered, was not as easy as I had originally thought.

"I didn't do – I didn't mean to…" I sighed as I sidestepped her attack and gripped onto her wrists, locking her arms behind her back, thus restraining her for the time being.

"Let me go," she spoke menacingly, kicking and squirming to release herself from my iron like grip to no avail.

I only tightened my grip and stomped my foot on the ground, thus locking her feet in place with earth.

"You are going to regret this! Release me now!"

I attempted to lock her hands with earth as well, but when I made my move, she yanked her arm away and drove her elbow into my ribs quite roughly, thus causing me to whiff backwards which also loosened my hold on the earth locking her feet. Now free, Mai drew two daggers from the slots between her ankles and stood menacingly, a few feet of earth separating us.

"I didn't do anything to Ty Lee besides end our little arrangement a few months ago," I answered, standing to my feet, glaring back at the angry, yet beautiful assassin a few feet away.

"Liar!" she protested, "with the way she was crying, you must've done more than just end it."

"I may have…" I sighed, slumping forward in shame, "… said some things."

"Enough to make her sob like she has never before…" Mai trailed off, sounding somewhat understanding despite her accusing tone.

"I tried to let her down easy but –"

"But she gripped onto you, begging for a chance, and when you said no again, she said something that made you angry and you lashed out," Mai finished for me.

I was surprised, impressed and slightly worried at the same time; surprised that she knew, impressed that understood every little detail, and worried about how she came to know such a thing.

"Y-yeah," I stuttered, still somewhat shocked, "how did you…"

"I went through something similar," she shrugged, bending over to slide her daggers back into the slots by her ankles while I tried not to stare at her plump ass – yeah, I failed miserably.

Even though I enjoyed the view, I was somewhat impressed by how easily she went from being a raging bull to the same dull, bored girl I had briefly known.

"You?" I questioned when I regained my focus. She nodded. "Went through something similar?" She nodded again. "This recent?" She shook her head this time.

"A year or two ago," when I raised my eyebrow in clear confusion, she sighed and moved to sit down on the bench by the garden. "It was a bit of a haze, not the best few years of my life."

I snorted, "tell me about it."

"I still haven't forgiven you," she suddenly declared. "You could've handled Ty Lee better than you did… but I do understand."

I nodded absentmindedly before I raised my eyebrows goofily and offered her my crooked grin, hoping my adorable expression would help sway her. "So, do I get to live to see your pretty face for another day?"

'She just spent the last few minutes yelling at you while trying to pin you down with her daggers… and the first thing you do to deescalate the situation is flirt with her?'

Mai stared at me for a while, raising her eyebrow and crossing her arms – for some reason, she seemed more amused and surprised rather than annoyed and disgusted.

"You're off the hook for now, Avatar."

I grinned at her while I shuffled to join her on the bench, siting down beside her as I asked, "So, what has the mighty Mai been up to lately?"

"Really?" she asked, bored. "You're gonna revert to small talk?"

I shrugged, "If you're life is as boring as you make it out to be then you could've just told me to stop talking."

'Why the fuck are you trying to push her buttons? Are you trying to get yourself killed?'

"That's rich coming from Avatar who hasn't done anything except sit on his ass and complain about his shitty life since the war ended," she retorted, smirking as I stared at her wide eyed. "Tell me, what have you done? Really?"

"Nothing much, I've already cleaned up the mess you – and your precious friend: princess Azula – made of the world, so now I'm just waiting on you to make another mess for me to clean up."

"Oh, so your whole world revolves around me?" She smirked again.

Fuck. She might have me there.

"Funny, I thought you'd have something better to do than wait on me," Mai chimed, smiling at my annoyed and defeated expression.

'What's wrong? No snappy comeback?'

Well, I have one.

'And what is it?'

I was going to say, 'I could do you.'

'Oh fuck no! You're gonna get us killed!'

"Well, if you're up for it –"

'No! Shut your fucking mouth! I do not want to be reincarnated in the next couple of minutes!'

"Well, what Avatar?" Mai asked, yet again smirking at my defeated expression.

For a while, I just sat there, contemplating on what exactly I was doing – less about what I was doing currently at the moment, more so about what I was going to do with my life. Normally, I'd just push those thoughts aside; worrying and planning out a future filled with uncertainty was not how I was raised, I'd much rather live in the moment and cherish the memories I shared with all my loved ones while trying to make new ones.

Sitting with Mai however, here, actively trying not to return to that awkward party… everything felt dull. Sure, we had our little fight and our banter, but beyond that, I really have no idea what my goal is here. Am I trying to escape the party? The people? Am I even trying to escape anything in particular? My duty? My life? My pain?

'I think its pretty clear by this point that you're just running from your problems instead of facing them head on – ever the airbender.'

"I know what you're trying to do," Mai pulled me away from my current existential crisis, speaking in a soft voice, one that seemed completely foreign originating from her but soothing, nonetheless. "The partying, the constant flirting, the sultry looks, the tempting smiles… I see through it all."

"There's nothing to see through," I tried to refute her claims, but it was useless, because now I was dealing with someone who understood me in an out – not because she knew me as a person, on the contrary, Mai barely knew me at all. No, it was because she knew exactly what I had been through; she had lived it, breathed it, suffered in it… so when she began talking, I couldn't help but take solace in her wisdom.

"You think I don't know?" She began, staring out at the garden, her arms crossed and leg looping over her knee as she opened up to me while I intently listened. "You think I don't know about this 'mask' you put on to hide your own feelings?"

Not knowing what else to do, I leaned back and glanced at her from the corner of my eye, while she had now set her gaze upon me completely.

"Why do you think I'm immune to your little attempts at seducing me?"

Okay, I wasn't trying to seduce her –

'Really?'

I internally sighed.

"Why do you think I can see right through your 'mask'?" When I didn't answer, she answered for me. "I've done exactly what you've been doing, Aang."

She paused.

"I tried looking for love after Zuko… I went through several relationships, hoping they could help me move on."

I was about to cut in and claim that that's not even half of what I've done, but she didn't let me.

"And when that didn't work, I gave up on the idea of love. I fucked around, just like you. I changed my attitude, just like you. I hurt and berated whoever I felt deserved it, even when they didn't… I tried to fool everyone, claiming I was better off alone and free. But I never realised – until I finally hurt someone who truly cared for me – that even in the largest jungles, in the deepest oceans, and the vast skies… nothing… and I mean nothing… nothing can make you feel lonelier and more trapped than having no one to share the smallest piece of your heart with."

We were quiet for several minutes – Mai was attempting to calm herself down, her palms pressed up against her eyes, trying to contain the tears, her head that was once trembling, now laying gently on my shoulder. My arm was wrapped around her back, my hand trying to soothe and comfort her without making her uncomfortable. All this, while I was trying to process everything.

A part of me: the idiotic side, wanted to run back into my comfort zone; to return back to having no feelings and acting like nothing could hurt me. However, I don't know why but… for once, I didn't want to continue with the 'tough guy, asshole, nothing-can-touch-me' façade; it made no sense to continue with it. Not with her. not when she could clearly see right through it.

If she could be open and honest with me, then maybe I should trust her enough to be open and honest with her.

"How'd you do it?" I asked.

"What?" she questioned back a few moments later.

"Zuko," she stiffened at the name, "how'd you bleed him out?" She looked like she didn't want to answer, but I pleaded with her. "Please. If I am to fix myself, I need to know."

Mai hesitated for a few moments, probably wondering the best way to tell me to just get over it, but what she said was something I never expected, yet saw coming at the same time.

"I never did," she answered. "You don't just stop having feelings for someone you've loved your entire life, its not possible, no matter how often you lie to yourself about it."

I sighed heavily, wondering where to go from here. Mai, me not knowing why, grabbed my hand and began tracing my light blue arrow – it was comforting.

"So," I began, "what do I do? Where do I go from here?"

"Why are you asking me?" Mai snorted.

I chuckled, thinking she was joking until I realised that she was being serious. So, I donned a confused expression, "You said it yourself, you've been through this… you clearly know what the problem is so – "

"Just because I know what's wrong doesn't mean I have all the answers."

"But… you seem so content… with everything that's happened, how can you seem so… at peace, without knowing the answers?"

Mai sighed as she sat up and looked me in the eye, "I… I just focus on the 'now'. I don't concern myself with exactly when, or with whom I will get better or grow happy with… I just focus on how not to blow up right that second and I do the first thing that comes to mind."

I raised an eyebrow, intrigued and smiling slightly, "Like?"

"Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiike…" she trailed off, looking up at the nebula sky thoughtfully before she snapped her fingers, "Like, when I'm tired of using Sokka and Ty Lee for target practice when they annoy me, I think about before the war… when I used to dance as a kid – "

Mai cut herself off when she noticed me gaping at her, which she simply responded to by laughing. "You?! Danced?!"

Stifling her laughter, she spoke in between giggles, "Oh don't be… so shocked. It was nothing… too serious. Just a couple… dances I'd perform alone… sometimes even at balls… but those were with…"

Mai trailed off – I knew what she meant though: she used to dance with Zuko.

Sensing the tension in the air, I decided to remove it by smiling at her, "So, you like dancing?"

She seemed shy for a moment, but soon returned to the nonchalant, bored expression she had mastered. "Well, I don't enjoy it but –"

I cut her off as I abruptly stood up and ran inside while holding her hand, thus dragging her with me – she didn't seem to mind. When we were inside, I tugged her towards the ball as the music transitioned to a slow paced, romantic rhythm. Suddenly, she seemed more shy than usual; her cheeks were beet red, the corner of her lips perking upwards somewhat, her eyes focusing on the boring patterns on the floor, desperately trying to hide it all from me – it was cute.

"May I have this dance, Lady Mai?" I questioned, holding her milky hand up to my lips while awaiting her answer. When she shyly nodded, I smiled and placed a soft kiss on the back of her hand before leading her to the middle.

Once there, swaying with Mai, I noticed that Sokka and Suki were smiling at me from the distance and Toph and Satoru were dancing beside Mai and I – I guess they worked things out.

For a while, Mai seemed somewhat nervous, so, grinning at her, I leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her beet red cheek. This however, only flustered her more as she stared at me wide-eyed, mouth slightly agape, her hands now firmly gripping onto my shoulders.

"You do realise what this looks like to everyone else, right?!" Mai whisper yelled.

I chuckled. "Well, if I was on the outside looking in, all I'd see was two exceptionally beautiful people sharing a small, but lovely dance together."

As Mai blushed again, she dug her face into my chest. Though, I reckon she may have underestimated the intimacy of the gesture as she stiffened when certain people in the crowd gasped – namely: a frowning Katara and Zuko, and a grinning and ecstatic Suki.

Though she was hesitant at first, after a short while, Mai began swaying again and now leaned her entire body on me, sighing into my chest as I wrapped my arms around the small of her back.

I chuckled again, "you do realise what this looks like, right?" I teased.

I could feel her smiling against my chest as she murmured, "Shut up."

We swayed for a while with our eyes closed, neither of us caring about how the noblemen around us thought that we were dancing for a while too long, holding each other a little too close, speaking to each other a little too softly.

"Is there any hope for us?" I suddenly asked as I sensed the song was coming to a close, and since it was the final one of the night, I wanted to make things clear with Mai since were we currently on uncharted territory. "Are we to remain broken forever, or can we be fixed?"

"I'd like to say, 'I hope so'," she replied softly. Although I had more questions, I also didn't want to ruin the mood, so I halted and continued swaying – Mai however, seemed to have a couple things on her mind herself… or one thing in particular: "Can I kiss you?"

Normally, I'd be shocked, but the spirits had been particularly kind to me for the past couple years – no doubt attempting to make amends for fucking up my life with Katara.

"Mai," I began warningly, "I don't want what happened with Ty Lee and I to happen to you too."

"It won't," she replied, her face still buried in my chest.

After a short pause, I sighed. Cupping her face in my hands, I looked her in her amber eyes as I spoke softly, "I'll break your heart."

She scoffed before smiling, "Its already broken."

As the song came to a close, Mai stood on her tiptoes and leaned in, capturing my lips in a soft kiss as she trailed her fingers across my jaw. My hands glided down her body as they gripped onto her small waist, tugging her forward while she wrapped her arms around my neck.

We ignored the various gasps and whispers for the crowd – the both of us were all too focused on each other to worry about anyone else. After a short while, we both pulled apart and stared at each other, neither of us acknowledging anyone else, pretending as if we were alone in the room.

"You know," Mai began softly, "if we weren't so broken, and so fucked up… I'd definitely take you for a test run."

I smirked at her, "Normally, I wouldn't be opposed to the idea – you are rather beautiful, after all – but we both know it'll only end one way…"

"And you'd rather save us both the trouble and sadness and drama?"

I nodded. She smiled.

"It was nice though," I added, chuckling a little as a sudden blush found its way onto my cheeks. "The kiss, I mean – it was nice. Thank you."

Mai grinned and blushed too, "It was, wasn't it."

We unwrapped our arms and I lead her back outside. She had mentioned earlier in a group discussion that she would be leaving for the Fire Nation early tomorrow morning so I didn't want to keep her any longer than I had to. On the way, I noticed Katara and Zuko arguing in the distance. Normally, I'd snicker as that's all those two would ever do these days: argue over petty things. This one however, seemed more intense; a lot more yelling, a lot more shoving and many more tears – mostly on Katara's part. Though I knew they wouldn't physically hurt each other, I just hoped neither of them would say anything they wouldn't be able to take back.

'You're lying.'

Why would I be lying? I only want what's best for Katara.

'That may be true, but you and everyone else believes that what's best for Katara is you. So, if they got into a fight and broke up, you'd be jumping at the bits to get with her.'

You don't know how wrong you are.

'Mai has already called you out on your bullshit. Do you really want me to do the same?'

…

'That's what I thought.'

"I hope you find what or who you need to move on," I admitted to Mai's retreating figure.

When she heard me, she halted and turned back around. A certain look in her eye told me that what she was about to say was one of the hardest things she'd have to admit – and it was because I had trouble believing it despite knowing it was true.

"From what I've been told and seen myself… usually the person who causes the damage also repairs it."

XOXOXOXOXOX

The walk back to the home Suki, Sokka, Toph and I shared – and now Katara and Zuko too – was a long one. Normally I'd just use my glider to fly there in record time. Tonight however… I guess I just needed to clear my head. After an awkward party – mostly due to Sokka's poorly timed 'humour' and Zuko's particularly sour mood – and a heavy talk with Mai, I just felt completely exhausted.

Needless to say, my mind was a complete mess despite the clarity Mai brought. In fact, it seemed as if her advice only confused me more. At the time I felt like my questions had been answered… or at least, somewhat so. Now however, the half answers only birthed more questions. Like: so, if Katara is the only one who can help me, what am I to do? Do I just sit back, open my heart up and let her play around with it some more before she eventually grows bored and decides to move on? How can I trust her again? How can I be sure she won't leave the moment things become difficult?

'You don't… but that's the chance everyone takes when they decide to love someone.'

And why would I take that chance if I've been burned by it before?

'Dude, it's a risk. That's the whole point, you risked your heart when you openly loved her – unfortunately, you hurt yourself in the process. Now, if you want to heal completely, you need to take a risk and open up to her again… trust that she loves you enough –'

How do I know that she loves me? She's never outright said so. She's dating Zuko for crying out loud!

'She has been particularly affectionate with you. She has flirted with you. She has ogled at you. She is clearly attracted to you –'

None of that constitutes love.

'Forget all that, even if she doesn't love you – which I'm pretty sure she does – she's the only one who can give you closure. You feel betrayed by her, so, if you really want to move on, you need to talk it out with her – no amount of sex or other worldly distractions will change that.'

As I opened the door and walked through the corridor leading to my room, my attention was suddenly diverted to the pond outside. Nearing it, my ears picked up on cries and sniffles, of which I recognised all too well. Sliding the door open, I was met with the sight of Katara sitting beside the pond – a large peach tree overlooking it – her knees hugging her chest and her face dug into her knees. Slowly but not so quietly as to not alarm her, I made my way over to the sobbing waterbender. She obviously noticed my presence as she glanced up and met my eyes pleadingly, a clear request present in her oceanic depths: please, hold me.

Although this would normally annoy me – as once again, Katara proved to me that all I am to her is a shoulder for her to cry on, nothing more nothing less – I also understood that she needed me. And despite myself, I felt horrible for her. She seemed like a shell of herself, more so than me even. If the night was any indication, I'd say her and Zuko's argument had turned nasty and they'd both hurt each other – just like I had predicted, yet hoped they hadn't.

Not leaving another moment to spare, I leaned down on my knees and wrapped my arms around her. She gave herself up willing and swung her arms around my torso, her face ug into the nape of my neck as her salty tears began dampening my orange and golden robes. One of my hands rested on the small of her back, holding her to me while the other rubbed the back of her head soothingly. All while shushing her, she continued sobbing quietly, her body shaking slightly until her cries turned quiet.

"A-Aang…"

When I heard her broken voice, I declared then and there: fuck the world, fuck peace fuck tranquillity… I was going to fuck Zuko up.

"Aang… I k-know what y-you're thinking… don't."

I sighed as she ran her hand across my cheek, her thumb wiping away the tear that had unknowingly fallen.

"What did he do?" I asked, anger laced with every syllable I uttered.

"We both said some things," Katara sighed. "But its over now."

Its over? What did that mean? Like… the fighting is over? Or they're…

"Zuko and I broke up," Katara decided to clear the air, probably due to my sudden quietness.

"Oh," was all I could come to say at the time.

After clearing my head of all the sudden new possibilities the future offered, I sat up straight and loosened my grip on Katara. She must've noticed as she too sat up and hugged herself again, bringing her knees up and wrapping her arms around them as if to shield herself from the cool air.

"Are you… are you okay?" I tentatively asked.

Katara seemed unsure on how to respond. I was unsure on what to say… on how to comfort her. Despite my age, I am quite wise. However, bring relationships into the fold and I am completely hopeless. I've only ever been through one relationship and one breakup, and neither was handled in the best way – I blame myself, though. What I'm getting at is: I have no idea what I'm doing.

"I'm not sure," Katara answered. "I'm glad its over," she added, "but I don't know where to go from here."

I nodded absentmindedly before I asked, "Well, you mentioned in your letters that you missed your father and your Gran Gran, how about a visit to the South Pole?"

She smiled, "Yeah," Katara spoke softly, "that's sounds great."

A short silence befell upon us, and it was awkward. Moments like this between us usually aren't, but with my past feelings for her and her current predicament out in the open… well, it was certainly expected needless to say.

"If you don't mind me asking," I began tentatively, "what happened?"

Katara sighed as she hugged herself tighter, "we… we just weren't right for each other." When I gestured for her to elaborate, she glanced away and explained, "We'd often get into fights – sometimes over petty things like what I should wear to meetings or what we should order for dinner – other times it was serious. He'd almost never be there for me, I'd always be by his side whether he needed me or not, but he neglected me… took me for granted. He also… he wasn't as affectionate towards me when the problems arose. I tried to make it work – I had realised a long time ago that we were a lost cause, I still tried, but I was a fool."

I noticed Katara shift nervously. I could tell she had much more to say, but she seemed somewhat apprehensive of my reaction. So, to assure her, I warmly smiled – she smiled back and continued.

"I also knew that he still had feelings for Mai, he was missing her." My ears perked up and I listened intently, "He tried to deny it, but I read the letters he had unknowingly left out in the open; they were for her, and they certainly weren't 'just business related' as he had put it."

She shifted again, this time more nervously as her eyes darted from mine to her feet from time to time, "I… I also… I might've told him that I… have feelings for someone else – someone close to me. Deeper feelings, stronger."

I was certainly listening intently now, though, despite my rapid heartbeat, I was sldo grimacing at what Katara could possibly be alluding to – for a reason I have yet to understand.

"So, naturally, he lost his temper and said somethings… hurtful things. I said some back and he… he said something that…" I heard Katara's voice crack slightly before she sighed, "He shed light onto something I deeply regretted, and he said I was delusional for thinking that…" Katara hesitated, looking deeply into my eyes, concerned. "I just… I couldn't take it. So, I told him it was over between us… I told I wouldn't return to the Fire Nation with him, and I walked back here."

I remained quiet for a moment, desperately trying to digest everything so I could comfort her.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that, Katara." I gave her a sad smile, which she returned fondly, "I know first-hand just how messy breakups can be and… you'll get through it."

"Well, it'll be a lot easier if you were… with me," Katara stated shyly.

What… what the fuck does that mean? Does she mean like with me, with me? Or like as a friend with me?

'What do you think genius?'

Spirits! She is so frustrating sometimes! Why can't she ever be straightforward?!

'She's being cautious, and the with the way you've snapped at her in the past, I don't really blame her.'

"Uhhh, I guess," I answered weakly. "I should be able to accompany you."

That was the best response I could think of; I didn't want to voice all my thoughts, so I opted to play dumb – though, I wasn't really playing dumb as I truly had no idea as to what she was referring to.

Katara's face fell at my answer, almost as if she wanted me to take the first step again and take a leap of faith again.

"We can leave in a couple days," I continued while she glanced at me sadly, "I still have some business with the Earth King, but once that's settled, we can go. We can even bring Sokka and Suki!" I exclaimed in fake cheeriness, attempting to lighten the mood for her. Though, she only seemed to grimace at the suggestion.

"No!" she shouted, but then blushed from embarrassment before recovering. "I – I mean… they're probably busy, and I'd rather no go through a week of travelling with Sokka talking my ears off." We both chuckled at her joking remark before she blushed again and added as an afterthought, whispering in a way that told me she both wanted me to hear it but at the same time wished it went right over my head. "Plus, I also want to spend some time with you…"

Okay, what the fuck does she mean now?

'You are so oblivious.'

No. I know full well what she's doing, its just that I'm so fucking sick of it! The double meanings, the uncertainty, the continuous dancing in circles, it needs to fucking stop.

"What was that Katara?"

She blushed again. I paid it no mind.

"I meant… w-we haven't spent that much time together lately and… I'd like to get to know you again."

I snarled, "You already know me well enough."

"Not the new you," she replied.

"The new me?" I raised an eyebrow, "I'm the same person I've always been," when she was about to object, I cut her off quickly. "- A little on edge, sure. A little more easily annoyed, and somewhat moody, but – "

"And why are you on edge?"

I scoffed, "I think you know why."

Katara's face softened somewhat, but when I stood up in annoyance, she mirrored my action and followed up with: "Aang, I can tell there's a lot you want to say to me – "

"You got that right," I retorted.

"And there's a lot I want to say to you, but right now I'm – "

"Let me guess," I cut her off again, not failing to anger and annoy her as I did so, "you're confused?"

Clenching her fists, Katara gritted out, "Okay, I'm trying to be thoughtful and understanding and I'm trying to remain cordial, but clearly you're not in the mood. So, tell me, what's your problem? Why are you being such an asshole?"

"It's the new me Katara!" I exclaimed again with fake cheeriness, "get with the fucking program."

"No! This is not you!" Katara shouted, "you're being this way on purpose. Why?"

"Face it, Katara. This is how I am now," I shrugged my shoulders and spoke nonchalantly, "This is what you're dealing with. So, either get with it, or get over it."

"Stop lying to me Aang!" Katara raised her voice to another octave, I knew that if she was any louder, she'd wake up the neighbours – Sokka, Suki and Toph weren't home yet – but I didn't care. "I thought we promised to always be honest with each other. So why – "

"Oh, you have some fucking nerve, Katara!" I gritted, clenching my fists as I glared at her.

Katara stared at me shocked as she crossed her arms and glared back, "Excuse me?!"

"You heard me," I replied, "with all your talk about honesty, you've never once been truly honest with me, have you?" When she opened her mouth to reply but said nothing, I took it as a sign to continue, "You always say how best friends should be truthful and honest with each other… but when was the last time you told me something that wasn't laced with several double meanings, or something that couldn't be interpreted a million a different ways?"

"What are you talking about?" She asked weakly, cautiously.

"You said you were 'confused'," I answered, "you said the timing was off and that you were confused. Tell me, what the fuck does 'confused' mean?!" Before she could respond, I cut her off and continued, "Confused about what? The timing? The war? Your feelings? Just what the fuck were you confused about? And –" I cut her off again as she was about to respond, "If you were so fucking confused, then exactly what happened that made you throw yourself at Zuko and not even spare me a second glance?"

Katara didn't answer me – probably trying to recollect all her thoughts and rearrange all the answers to my questions. She didn't speak for a while, but when she did, she said something I never thought I'd hear – it pissed me off.

"I haven't been honest with you, you're right. So, here's the truth…" Twiddling her thumbs, she let out a deep sigh before she gazed into my eyes and whispered softly, "I love you."

I stared at her, unsure if I should be grateful and ecstatic or even more pissed off, I chose the latter.

"Oh, really?" I spoke in fake innocence.

She nodded, shyly yet cautiously, "I love you, Aang."

"Well, that's great then… all is forgiven," I smiled at her and she beamed at me in response.

"Really?!" she asked, ecstatic.

I snorted.

'Don't do it.'

How naïve could she be?

'Don't fucking do it. Think about –'

"Fuck, no!" I shouted, and she grimaced as her face fell. "What? You think that by saying 'I love you' everything will be alright?"

"Aang… I don't – I didn't – "

"Remember what I told you that day?"

She looked at me thoughtfully before her eyes widened slightly; she knew exactly what I was talking about.

"I cherish our friendship, and I don't want my feelings for you to get in the way… so I won't let them."

And I didn't.

"I'll always care for you, that much is certain. But, in time, and I don't wish this upon you, but… for whatever reason, if you change your mind, just know… I probably won't let myself feel that way again."

And I won't. I haven't.

"You made your choice, and no matter what happens, you'll have to live with it."

I'll make sure she does.

'Since when did you become so heartless?'

I'm not being heartless, I'm being selfish… for once.

"You made the choice Katara." I continued, "I told you that day, I asked you before hand if you ever felt anything for me… you said 'no'." Grimacing as those painful memories I thought I had suppressed came rushing forward, I gritted my teeth as a single tear trailed down my cheeks. "I cared for you, you said 'no'. I loved you, you said 'no'. I gave you a chance to take it back, to give me hope, to not let me think that you never loved me at all… I asked you, you said 'no'."

Looking at her eyes, I saw that a waterfall of salty tears was running down her face – I wanted to wipe them away, but I couldn't. It hurt too much.

It hurt too much to care. It hurt too much hope. It hurt too much to love.

"I loved you, but you said 'no'." I continued while she sobbed quietly, "So, now I'm saying 'no'."

"No?" Katara's voice was painted with hurt – it hurt me to do this to her, but it needed to be done.

"No." I confirmed.

"B-but…" she tried to protest, somehow continuing to prolong her suffering… and my own. "You said you loved me… don't you still?"

"How could you ask me that?" I snarled. "That is completely unfair and uncalled for and – " I grunted as I began pacing.

"I love you, Aang!" Katara yelled weakly, "I love you; I have loved you ever since the war… I just… I never realised it until… until I…"

I stopped pacing. "Until you what?"

Katara looking into my eyes as she drew closer. She took my hands in hers and caressed them soothingly – it had minimal effect, what with my anger and irritation irrationalising my already clouded thoughts – she gazed at me pleadingly, begging to be forgiven, asking for another chance, a chance to prove herself to me.

"Until I lost you," she finished, but then continued, "But now… now I know how I feel about you and I've never felt so strongly about anyone or anything else and I know, I just know that I'll – "

She was rambling, so I stopped her by shaking her shoulders.

"Katara!" I raised my voice to get her attention, when it seemed like I had it, I brought it down to a socially acceptable level. "You're not hearing me, so, hear me now because I will not repeat myself." I steeled myself, staring deeply into her watery blue orbs as she began trembling in fear, "This is not happening. You just got out of a relationship, and I've been a mess ever since you broke my heart."

'Wow, you're being rather blunt.'

Yeah, I'm not in the mood to dance around the truth.

"Right now, you need to focus on getting back up on your feet. Visit your home, spend time with your family…" What I was going to say next killed me, but I needed to say it, "Find someone who loves you unconditionally, marry him, raise your family, be happy." I smiled sadly. "Forget about me, Katara."

She seemed deep in thought for what seemed like an eternity, but really, it was around five seconds. Yet, when she steeled herself, her eyes were filled with tears of determination instead of fear and sadness.

"No," she immediately protested, both shocking me and making me roll my eyes as it was a typical 'Katara' move. Her defiance and persistence were what I admired most about her, but right now, it was a pain in the ass to deal with.

"No?" I questioned warningly.

"No." She stood her ground. "No, I will not give up on you. I will not give up on us."

"There is no 'us', Katara."

"You told me 'No' a couple minutes ago, so now I'm saying 'No'."

I snorted, rather amused yet still annoyed by her defiance, "What? Are you going to force me to court you?"

"No, I'll win you over."

Although this was rather amusing, I was growing ever frustrated with her. So, I decided to become the asshole one more time, hopefully then she'll get the message.

"You'll win me over?" I questioned, chuckling slightly to hide the fear in my voice as I knew this would hurt her, "Katara, you couldn't win over the first boy you showed interest in… you remember Jet, right?" At my recalling of the memory, Katara's eyes glowed with hurt, sorrow and shock, maybe even heartbreak – I paid them no attention. "You tried oh so hard to win him over, and he danced circles around your ass. You thought he was falling for you, when in reality, he was falling on his back laughing at you whenever you turned around." Again, a glow of heartbreak, more tears of sorrow – fuck them, I don't care. "If you couldn't win over a low life such as Jet, what makes you think you'll win me over? The Avatar."

More tears. More pain. More quiet sobs.

I steeled myself.

I don't care.

"And what about Haru?" I continued, donning a fake look of interest and playfulness to hide exactly how much it was killing me to do this to her. "I believe you mentioned that he was 'pretty cute' when you first met him, right? What happened? Were you not able to win him over either?" I snorted, "To be honest, he should consider himself lucky; tell me, is there a boy you've touched who hasn't either died, left you, or been heartbroken?"

Oh fuck. There goes her heart again.

And shit. There goes my heart as well.

"Oh, and let's not forget about our mighty Fire Lord Zuko. I remember you saying you hated him, then a couple days later you were hugging him… you know, I'll bet that a couple minutes after that you were probably fucking him."

Her bottom lip trembled as more tears fell. She whimpered in pain.

I… I… I don't care.

I don't care.

This needs to be done; being with me will only cause her pain, and vice versa – she needs to hate me, as I once hated her.

"Actually, I'll even bet that when I was laying my insecurities out on the floor for you during that play, you were probably laughing your ass off – thinking about fucking Zuko later that night while stomping on my heart."

She whimpered again. She tore her eyes away.

I… I… +I d-don't c-care.

"Though, I do have to congratulate you; you won him over." I began clapping hysterically as I spoke, "Congratu-fucking-lations Katara, you managed to snag a boy who not only betrayed you once already, but someone who also chased you and your friends around the world for half a year while trying to either kill or capture them, someone who decided to use your grief for your mother while hoping that you'd forgive him, someone who has immense daddy, sister, and mommy issues, and has half a face. A great catch I'd say…"

Her face dropped. Her eyes closed – that didn't stop the tears.

She took a couple steps back.

I… d-don't… c-c-care.

"But surprise, surprise… you managed to also fuck that up, didn't you? What? Was he not satisfying your needs? Was he too quick to finish? Did he not cuddle with you afterwards? Was he too busy to listen to your 'over-exaggerated' speeches of hope every day? Did he not offer you a shoulder to cry on?"

'And before the idiot could stop himself, he began projecting.'

"Was he not there for you when you lost your mother's necklace? Did he not make another one for you out of love and compassion? Did he not offer you his rations of rice when you didn't have enough to eat? Did he not save up money just so you could relax and bathe in a hot bath when you grew overly tired? Did he not call you beautiful or look at you like you were the most gorgeous being in the world? Did he not comfort you after Jet had fooled you? Did he not care for you? Did he not love you? Was he such a hopeless romantic that even after you told him you didn't love him at all, he continued to care for you, gave you advice, offered you guidance, comforted you, made you laugh and smile? Was he so horrible to you that you couldn't see just how much he loved you until it was too late?"

Pause. There was silence. Heavy tears, quiet sobs, ragged breathing… but silence all the same.

Until there wasn't.

"I – I'm s-s-sorry," Katara barely choked out.

I sighed, "So am I…"

Silence again, for a while at least.

I declared softly, but sternly.

"I hate you, Katara."

'He lied.'

"And you should hate me too…"

Katara gazed at me with uncertainty, shock, agony and sadness all swirling around in her watery, melancholy eyes.

She too spoke softly, yet sternly, before she retreated back into the house.

"I think you want me to…"