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Crime In The Nations

Katara's Journal

Entry 10: In Loving Memory—

Author's Note: Hii! I hope everyone is doing well. Here's a new chapter. Not much going on sadly but the next chapter will be more exciting. My tenth chapter yall! I'm so proud of this story so far. I'm hoping to wrap things up in a good 30 more chapters. I'm still not sure how it will end. Enjoy this one, though :)

-kataangforeverrr13

Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender nor any of its characters, events, occurrences, and ideas. Please don't sue me.

Saturday, February 1st

In loving memory,

Kya Ayek.

Wonderful mother, supportive wife, beautiful daughter, a hero to her tribe.

As I wrote my mother's obituary, I couldn't help but feel happy. I know this was supposed to be a heartfelt event but I was feeling excited. Excited for closure.

Obviously, I miss my dear mother so much but I couldn't shake away the sentiment brewing in my stomach of anticipation. I also feel rather guilty at the same time.

Last night, I invited Suki and Toph to come over. Suki wanted to ask a few questions to finish planning out the food and customs. Toph decided to bring something to… loosen us up a little. Let's just say it was exactly alcohol; it was something a bit more...more.

As I think of what to say, I laugh at the irony of it all. It's been an insane amount of years and I am finally settling down in the acceptance step of the 5-stages of loss and grief. However, as I type some incoherent words onto my laptop's document, I can't help but feel a little— dare I say— high. I used to dig these sorts of things back in college and my later years of high school. I admit that I did things I regret but I'm over it now. I quit my bad habits including the one of obsessing over my mother's death.

I giggle and sigh. I really need to get this done.

Thirty minutes later, I finally completed it. I stretch my arms in relief.

Something I've noticed is that this entire journal has been about me crying. Like damn, I don't consider myself such a crybaby… maybe I am but I do have a good reason.

"And depression is one of them." I whisper aloud. Oops, that was an accident. Okay, I'm definitely high. I would never ever admit that, not even in my head or to myself.

I got up from the small desk in my room and walked into the kitchen for some water and painkillers.

Sokka comes up from behind me, "Hey sis, is there any wine? I really feel like drinking some, you know?"

"No, I don't think so… We should def-definitely buy some though."

Sokka realizes my current situation. He inspects me, "Wait a damn minute… painkillers, you're chugging water like it's beer, you slurred your speech, and your eyes are red— which isn't a surprise, you're always crying— ...you're high, aren't you?"

I smiled sheepishly, "Just a little." I said in a sing-song voice.

He crossed his arms in disbelief, "Katara! I thought we agreed on you not doing that anymore…"

"Relax! It's not like I'm an addict." I shrugged it off.

"That's not my point and you know it. Where's your stash?" He interrogates.

"Sokka, chill! It was a one time thing that I did with Toph and Suk—" I quickly covered my mouth with my hand. Fuck my loose tongue.

He gasped, "Suki did this with you?! She knows that you're supposed to be off that stuff."

I shook my head in frustration, "Look! It's really not a big deal. I'm okay now, I know how to stop and I know how to pick out healthy relationships. I'm not a teenager anymore!"

He surrendered, "Alright fine! Just please be careful because the last time was way too fucking scary and way too fucking close. I understand wanting to get the rocks off and shit but… just be aware of that okay."

I nodded, "Again, there is no need to worry. I'm in a good place finally and I have the gut feeling that I can handle it. I finished the obituary, by the way."

He grinned appreciatively, "Everything is in place for today. Zuko is going to be attending and doing a small dance from his culture in honor of her. Aang is bringing lots of bells and he will be performing an airbending ritual. Suki will be singing a poem and… I think Toph is directing the ceremony. It's supposed to be small and quaint. It's not a funeral, just a place for you and I to say goodbye. Gran-Gran can't make it— she's on vacation with Pakku— but she sent a few pictures we can display. And Dad is still deployed so we can't really wait for him to show up."

"Thanks Sokka, now if you will excuse me… I need to wash and do my hair." I said with a small groan.

As I finished curling the last strand of hair, I couldn't help but wonder what my mother would think of me. Would she be happy for us? Would she be sad that we're letting her go? Were all her sacrifices for nothing? Am I the daughter she expected?

Yes. No. Hopefully not. Hopefully yes.

I can't say for sure that my mom is proud of what I've accomplished in life because I haven't accomplished much of anything. Maybe all of this was just a waste… but I can't deny the feeling of inner peace. I just want to make sure my mother realizes this. My journey is barely starting and I want to start it with her… in my heart, if not in person.

I wore a dark blue kimono, typically worn in the South for funerals. It was a solid color. It had light traces of faux fur along the sleeves and the neckline. The middle was a white belt wrapped around my waist. I also wore my hair loops with dark blue beads and pearl earrings. I look quite good if I do say so myself.

I look into my jewelry box in hopes of finding something else to wear and my heart drops when I find a specific adornment.

My mother's necklace.

On top of it was a note… from Aang.

Dear Katara,

After your confrontation, Zuko told me about the day you and Mai saw a necklace. He didn't exactly know much of what it was but he recalled that it is something that should have been passed down to you. It made me realize that it's the necklace that made you discover Yon Rha as the one. I stole this back last night. It was tricky but it was completely worth it. I hope you take this as a sign to keep moving forward just as your mom would have wanted you to do. Her memory still lives on in you and Sokka. Honor her just as she honored you. I'm sure this betrothal necklace would look great on you.

With great love and respect,

Aang

Tears began to fill my eyes at the beauty of this gesture. I picked up the necklace and observed it with gratitude.

It was a blue choker with a light blue, hand-crafted jewel bearing the waterbending symbol. The story had been told many times before but I just assumed it had been burned during the incident.

It was originally crafted by Pakku as a betrothal necklace for Kanna, my grandmother, but it has since become a family heirloom passed from one generation to the next, starting with Gran-Gran, who passed it to Kya. And finally, it was in my very own possession.

"Thank you." I managed to murmur with gratitude. I strode over to the mirror and took a breath and relished in the emotion of it all. I sniffed back my tears and clipped it on. It fit perfectly with my outfit and it instantly reminded me of how beautiful she looked in it.

I quickly went over to my makeup kit and took out my eyeliner pen. I made a good enough wing and repeated it on both sides. I then proceeded to curl my eyelashes, apply mascara, and add a glimmer of dark sparkly blue eyeshadow. I saw that it was adequate enough and rushed out of there hoping for there to be the least amount of traffic possible.

Once I arrived at the venue, I took in its aura. It was a cozy lake house that stood near a narrow creek in the middle of a forest. Snow lined the grass, the trees, the roof, but the path was clear. Icicles grew out of the small porch and doorway. The windows were also covered with a thin layer of frost. As I walked inside the cabin, I noticed the many candles that burned the smell of fickle daphnes. Mother always loved those blooms but they only appeared during January and February.

I was greeted by Aang who was setting up bells and chimes all around the room. He gave me a welcoming kiss, "Hi sweetie!"

"Why hello you… your outfit looks great!" I complimented as I genuinely admired his unique yellow and red robes.

"Thanks, you look gorgeous!" He kindly stated. He then looked at my neck and smiled, "Wow, so you found it huh?"

"Thank you for that Aang… you don't know how much it truly means to me. I honestly didn't think of stealing it back which makes your act all that much better. I really appreciate your gesture. I love you so much." I gave him a hug which he gladly returned.

"You look beautiful, Katara. I'm so proud of you." He whispered into my ear. We parted ways because I noticed Toph in the short distance. I excused myself and made my way over her.

"'Sup, Katara?" I noticed how she used my real name instead of my nickname which she uses with such pride. Something is definitely wrong.

She turned her head around and her sightless eyes stared off into the distance.

"Hey Toph… are you okay?" I spoke softly.

She scoffs, "Pfft, why would I be okay? Y'know, I should be asking you that question, missy."

"Are you sure about that? Your face reads otherwise."

She faces away and curses under her breath, "Damn you and your stupid intuitions."

My face softens, "Are you gonna tell me what's up or…?"

"Yeah yeah… it's not a big deal. It's just that— I don't know, sitting here, reading over the obituary and the things I'm supposed to say. It makes me wonder if I will ever have to do this for my own mom. The relationship I have with her is not great; it's for obvious reasons too. I just can't help the feeling of… loneliness. I don't think my love for her would ever grow so deep to the point where I would plan and host two memorials or funerals like this. It's stupid. I know."

I place my hand on her shoulder, "Toph… it's not stupid. Your feelings are totally reasonable and I'm not just saying that. I don't have much to say because I also never knew what it was like to have a relationship with my mother. Most of what I know is from stories I have been told and the vague memories I can remember. What I do know is that mother and daughter relationships are priceless. What can you do to not worry about what you just told me? I don't know; it's your decision to make."

She sighed, "Yeah, you're right. I guess I could try reaching out to both of them. They recently went through that divorce I told you about, though. That sucks because in the midst of all our family drama, I thought their love would be stronger. Turned out my mother turned out to be a fucking gold digger. No matter though, maybe gathering us all in the same room and speaking like civilized people would be reasonable. It's not like they can send me to my room now, I'm finally an adult with the balls to confront them."

"Atta girl. That sounds good to me. Just don't chicken out." I gave her a quick hug and she awkwardly shuddered. I laughed at that.

With a punch on the arm, "Thanks, sugar. Bet that I'll do it, k? Oh and reception starts in 10 minutes so wrap up all your hellos and flirts." I hum in compliance and head to greet the others.

Ten minutes had passed and in those 10 minutes, I had thanked Zuko for his role in retrieving my mother's necklace. It felt good to see Mai doing her best to be a friend. Sokka and Suki were back to being in their PDA phase. Sokka had also brought some of his work friends such as Teo and Haru. I had known them for a while. Mai's best friend had also tagged along and brought someone who used to go to my high school. The cheerleader/gymnastics fan… Ty Lee. It was a small group of close and… somewhat intimate friends.

Toph stepped onto the very cramped platform, "Ahem, ladies and ladies… please take your seats. The reception, or also known as a program, is about to begin." Next to her stood a very beautiful portrait of my mother next to younger versions of my dad, Sokka, and I.

I heard Sokka grumble, "Who let her lead the memorial? I'm not a lady." I chuckled at my brother's annoyance at Toph's snarky comments.

"We are all gathered here today, not for a wedding nor a funeral, but for the memorial of Kya Ayek. She was a mother, a wife, a daughter, a friend, and a hero. She was sadly taken away from the world a little too soon but her legacy still lives on in the Southern Water Tribe… and in her very own children. Please welcome to the stage, her daughter, Katara Ayek. She will be delivering her second eulogy." Toph said with a small smirk while finding her seat.

I walked up to the platform and fixed my posture. "Thank you, Toph. That was a very heartfelt introduction. As I sat down at my desk, trying to figure out what to say… I remembered that her funeral had already occurred a decade ago. This is a very small group of people and I understood that. For that reason, I will only be saying a few words."

I cleared my throat, "My mother was a very strong woman. She had the courage to stand up to the firebending commander of a fleet when she herself was a non-bender. She wasn't even a fighter. However, she was a warrior at heart. I admire that quality. I was young when she passed away but I do remember how comforting her voice was. Just the thought of her made you feel settled, at home, and safe. In other words, she had a heart made of gold. I hope she realizes as she watches over us how much pain her death cost. The void I have felt for years. The hole in my heart that has barely begun to heal.

"But I hope she realizes how much she meant. Even now, remembering her voice… I still feel like that little innocent girl. Those times are over now and I am ready for new times to begin. Acceptance has finally dug its way to the hearts of my brother and I. A quote my mother really appreciated. It was one she used when my father would go off to battle. 'Absence only makes the heart grow fonder.' Thank you for listening. Kya will most definitely never be forgotten."

A quaint round of applause echoed through the cabin and the trees that surrounded us. It felt good.

Toph made her way up back to the small stage, "I'm sure we can all agree that Katara's speech was very well written. A few short activities will now take place. Firstly, Zuko has requested to perform a Fire Nation ritual. Let us pay close attention to his tribute."

Zuko and Toph switched places. He awkwardly smiled, "I know this may seem a bit weird, considering who murdered Kya. However, this specific ritual has been around for centuries. It's very special and unique but most of all, it's very fitting. Titled For our Fallen Stars; I will begin now."

The candles in the cabin exterminated and lit back up and illuminated the room even more brightly.

Zuko drew fire from both his palms and made a sphere of fire. He moved it around his body and expanded it into two serpents dancing in the air.

He bent the fire from the candles and created various small balls of light that seemed to represent stars.

He moved his feet and copied the movements of the serpents.

He twirled his fingers and the snakes turned into beautiful dragons. The "stars" around him began to falter and dim down.

The dragons began to move more slowly as did his body. In one fell swoop, the dragons swirled around him.

He gathered his hands down towards the center of his stomach and the well-sculpted flames burst into small fireworks.

The room erupted into cheers and applause. It was truly a passionate experience. Sokka and I both smiled and cheered, feeling nothing but indebtedness to his well portrayed act.

Toph stood back up, "Wow, that was truly amazing! There is no doubt in that, thank you Zuko for your beautiful tribute. Even though I couldn't exactly see it, I could hear and feel the raw emotion. Up next would be Aang performing an airbending trick important to the Air nomads. Let's give him our complete and undivided attention."

Aang looked in my direction and I nodded in conformity. "My mentor, Gyatso, taught me how to do this. It's a way to represent the cries of nature when a loved one dies. It's called And the Wind Wails. It was created by Avatar Yangchen. Here goes."

He raised one hand in front of his body and the wind obeyed his command.

A slight breeze began to jingle the bells and chimes began to ring through the air. You could hear the leaves rustling and the breeze seeping through the doorway. The smoke from the candles swirled throughout the cabin almost as if it were liquid.

Aang picked up a wooden flute from his pocket and began to play a tune. It sounded like a small cry and the sounds of nature were humming along in condolence. The bells continued to chime along to the music Aang played. He looked young and innocent doing it, almost as if he were back at the air temples playing a tune with the monks and students.

Hmm, mm, mmm… mmm.

The wind continued to swirl around us and it felt like I was in heaven. The soft hum of the flute, the continuously moving breeze, the scent of nature and flowers, and the bells made it feel surreal and glorious. It felt like I could fly.

Aang eventually began to die down the music and the wind slowed down. With one final note, it was over.

Again, everyone began to cheer and clap as they too felt the same sentiments I had felt throughout the entire ceremony.

"That was a touching and sweet gesture, Aang. Thank you for showing us your custom. Traditions like those are what make life worthwhile. Music to my ears. Thank you for that brief moment of heaven. Lastly, Suki would like to sing a song. The spotlight is yours, fan girl."

Suki cleared her throat and shook nervously with a shy smile:

Leaves from the vine…

Falling so slow.

Like fragile tiny shells,

Drifting in the foam.

Little soldier boy…

come marching home.

Brave soldier girl…

comes marching home.

Thats it. That was my final straw. At that point, I couldn't contain my emotions. Tears freed themselves from my eyes and began to flow down like tiny waterfalls. I stood up and clapped with so much emotion as the ache in my heart made itself known.

I could hear Sokka sob quietly at Suki's performance. At everything. It felt very good to do this but the overflowing fervor was overbearing.

Everyone clapped and cheered once again. Even the people who barely knew the story clapped. I ran up to Suki and gave her a warm hug.

I whispered through my tears into her ear, "Thank you… so much."

She was also crying as I heard her cracking voice,

"You're welcome, Kat."