Chapter 27:
John didn't sleep well that night; he didn't sleep at all really. Alex gave him some bullshit lame excuse about Oak having a fight with some girlfriend, which John knew wasn't true because of recent events, but just in case he'd forgotten his place he was reminded by the stern Look leveled on him from Oak as he stood behind Alex while he nervously rambled on, trying to ask John if it would be okay with the guy to staying over, "just for tonight or maybe a few nights, just until things calm down and everything blows over? Is that okay, John? I'm sorry, I know it's a bother, please say it's okay?"
What choice did John have? He said of course Oak could stay and he pretended not to notice how Alex seemed like he couldn't sit still or relax at all. No, it wouldn't bother him if Alex kept a light on, of course he didn't mind if Oak took up the extra chair John had brought, anything Alex wanted Alex got and under no circumstances was John going to complain about a goddamn thing if he knew what was good for him, or his friend's and family's safety. So he told Alex he just wanted to lay down and try to get some sleep, managing to stay quiet enough that Alex must've thought he was as anything he said to Oak after John laid down was in hushed whispers John couldn't be bothered to make out. He stayed laying on his side facing the wall with his eyes closed and just hoped he would get some rest, any rest.
He must've dozed off at some point tho because the next thing John knew someone was knocking at his door and when he rolled over to see why Alex or Oak didn't answer it he discovered they were gone. And the room was flooded with light from the large window that sat between his and Alex's beds. The rapting came again, and John sighed because he knew at once that it was Lafayette by the way the knocks sounded. He groaned as he got up, knowing that it was probably loud enough to be heard. The knocking stopped.
John shuffled over to the door, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and opened it hesitantly. Lafayette stood on the other side, arms folded and looking pissed. He stepped forward as if to move to go in, but John didn't move out of the way, instead coming out to meet with him in the hall. "Where do you think you are going?" Lafayette demanded, sounding furious.
"No where," John mumbled as he shut the door behind him and leaned against it. He crossed his arms over his chest as a way to hug himself and added, "Alex doesn't feel comfortable with you in the room anymore."
"Well, he can get over it."
"You don't live here, Laf."
"And you should not live here either. You were supposed to come over to my house last night, why did you say no to that?"
"Why didn't you want me coming back to the dorm?" John countered. He could feel his own anger at Lafayette starting to rise up slowly inside him. But to be as fair as he could he would give the French man a chance to explain himself.
"Because Alex is no good for you," Lafayette tried. "And you like him too much to see that you will get hurt by him."
"You sure it's not because you told him the one thing I asked you to keep a fucking secert?"
"I did not tell him I know he is a porn star, if that is what he is saying I did."
"Hm. He said you did."
"Then he is a liar, I did not call him such. I even say he is like me, because I know what it is like to have many lovers, that is not my problem with him."
"Then what is?"
"It is that he use it to make money. It is his job and I do not think he knows how to connect with someone there anymore. John, I tell you all this years ago, porn is no good for people."
"Oh right," John said, nodding his head with no jovial feeling inside him to the agreement. "That's why it's sooooo much better to keep sleeping with different people every night. You tell anyone else?"
"Non, because you ask me not too."
"Did you tell Thomas? Angelica or Peggy? Whatever friend you have here that you're opening that store with or the manager that keeps calling you for everything little thing?"
"Non, non, non, I did not say to them anything. They have nothing to do with any of this. But I do want to tell Thomas because he is not helping me move you out until he gets some answers about what is going on with you too; he say he thinks you are mixed up in something illegal now. What is that about?"
"It's...Nothing you need to worry about."
"I think it is something I do need to worry about, John." He reached to caress his friend's cheek, but John batted his hand away. "Why are you pulling away from me? This is not like you!"
"I'm not the one who walked out on our relationship in the middle of the night, Lafayette. You don't get to have a say in what my life is going to be like from here on out."
"This again," Lafayette said with a roll of his eyes. "I thought we agreed we should not be lovers anymore?"
"No, you decided we shouldn't be lovers anymore and you damn near decided we shouldn't be friends anymore but then reconsidered that and I only agreed to the first bit because if I had refused I most definitely would have lost your friendship but now I'm starting to think I was so incredibly stupid to let you talk your way back into my life after the hell you put me through when you broke up with me like a coward!"
"John, I am sorry I hurt you. I can not undo it, s'il vous plaît, I do not know what else I can say to help you get over it."
"Maybe I don't want to get over it, Laf! Maybe I want to be pissed and angry and furious with you for the rest of my life that you threw me away as soon as I became too fucking much for you to handle! I'm allowed to be angry!"
"Well it is not fair that you hold it over my head the rest of our lives."
"It's not fair you told me you'd consider marriage and then fucking walked out!" His eyes were brimming with tears, he was shaking with anger now, and he knocked away another of Lafayette's attempts to reach for him. "Damnit, Laf, do you have any idea how much that fucking hurt?!"
"It hurt me too-"
"That's NOT My Fault!" John yelled, the dam holding back his emotions started to crack. "You walked away Laf, you made that choice forboth of us, not me! So do not fucking start in with some bullshit about how you were just as hurt as I was, because you have No Idea what you put me through when you fucking left me!"
Lafayette rolled his eyes and shook his head, as if he was letting John's comments slide off him and that's when John felt his blood begin to boil. Years of repressed anger and rage, of emotions buried deep deep inside him came clawing their way back to the surface, tearing through him like zombies that would devour them whole. And as Lafayette stood there, looking like he didn't even care, John wasn't sure if he was going to be able to fight them back in time.
"So what are you saying then, my feelings just do not matter to you?"
"I'm saying that I'm sick of you twisting my words around and refusing to take any responsibility for your own bullshit," John ground out between clenched teeth.
"I do no such thing!"
"You are doing it right now."
Lafayette huffed, another roll of his eyes and John felt one of his twitch. "What did I twist around this time?"
"You weren't supposed to tell Alex-"
"I did not even tell Alex I knew! He is acting paranoid, see? Because he knows what he is doing is wrong!"
"Laf, No! He has a right to privacy, and if he doesn't want to tell me or you what he does for a living then we should respect that, even if we already know!"
"But if we already know then he has no privacy and you think it is okay to just lie and say he does?!"
"YES! Because I have a right to not tell him I'm a client too! And I never wanted him to know that and you're literally risking outing ME when you told him you knew what his job really was!"
"You should not be watching porn to begin with, John. Do not be mad at me that you got caught because you told me what you do when alone in your room."
"This Is Exactly What I'm Talking About Laf! You Can't Just Accept That I'm Moving On Without You And Instead You're Trying To GUILT ME Into Doing Things YOUR WAY! Well I'm Not Going To! Not Anymore! It's OVER, Lafayette, You Threw Away Your Only Shot With Me So You Could Keep Fucking Around With All Your Other Tramps And Whores And Now You're Extra Fucking Salty That I Found One Of My Own!"
"At Least I Do Not Pay For Someone To Pretend To Love ME!" Lafayette yelled back. "And Do Not EVER Say My Lovers Are Whores Or Tramps Again, John Anthony Laurens! Or You Would Do Well To Remember You Were Once ONE OF THEM!"
"Yeah, I Was! I Was Your Sweet Little Southern Belle, Wasn't I?! I Was Such A Fucking Slut For You! I Wanted To Be Everything You Wanted In Life And More, And Goddamnit Wasn't I Stupid Not Too See How You Paid For My Adoration And Sex With Fancy Trips And Expensive Meals And Tours All Around France, Wrapping It Up With A Nice Little Bow You Called It Friendship, But You Did Nothing But Use Me For My Body, Just Like You Use Everyone Else For Theirs!"
"I Did Not! I Tell You What I Wanted From DAY ONE! Tu as essayé de me tirer dans quelque chose que je ne pouvais pas faire!" Lafayette took a deep breath, pulling back and holding his hands up, clearly trying to regain some composure under the pressure John was applying. "Look now who is twisting words? You come right back to this John, you always do. I am done having this argument, you need to get over it. Now, why are you mad at me today? Hm? What have I done that is so bad, recently?"
"You what the short list or the long?"
"You say I tell Alex what you tell me. I say I did not. It is his word against mine and I think you are taking his side because he is the guy who does sexual things for you."
"I'm Not Taking His Side Because He Showed Me His Dick!"
"So I think," Lafayette went on to talk over John, "that if I get you a new boy to play with you will not be so stupid as to believe everything Alex say to you. And you will stop hiding things from me and keeping secrets, but yet you keep doing that-"
"I Only Told You About Alex Because I Thought I Could Trust You!" John yelled. "You Were Supposed To Be My Friend But You're Just Acting Like A Fucking Jerk!"
"Because I know you John, I know what you will do with Alex! You will fall in love with him, and want to be with him, and some big part of you is going to ignore every sign telling you to STOP and try to be with him, and maybe he will entertain you and maybe he will not, but one day you will wake up and he will not be there and then where will you be?! On the floor, crying in your own blood and calling ME to come pick you up again like I have so many times before! And I do Not want you to go through that again! So Why Am I The Villain In Your Story?!"
That was it.
The dam broke.
And John decided that it wasn't worth it this time to reign anything in.
"BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT AS MUCH OF A FUCKING FAIRYTALE PRINCE AS YOU THINK YOU ARE!" John screamed, his face flushed from the heat of anger and embarrassment at hearing Lafayette's words. "You're Still Just An UGLY BEAST Put Away In A Castle Because No One Can Bear The Thought Of Your Very Existence! You think you have eeeeverything figured out and that you know what's best for me, BUT GUESS WHAT LAF? YOU DON'T! You Push Me Into Things I Don't Want To Do, You Push Me Away From Arguments You Don't Want To Have, You Push Me Into Being Friends With People I Would Rather Avoid, You Push And Push And Push And I'm Fucking Sick Of It! I'm So Sick Of Being Pushed Around! You Tell Me It's Fiiiiiiine, And Normal! Because Shouldn't I Want To be Social, And Shouldn't I Want To Have A Good Time, And Shouldn't I Love Spreading My Legs For Anyone I Want, So Long As YOU Approve Of Them, But Do You Know WHY You're Always Out Partying And 'Just Having A good Time?'" John smiled, wide and sadistic, manic in his anger. "BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO ONE AT HOME WAITING FOR YOU! Your Stupid Whore Of A Mother Never Loved You Enough As A Kid And Now You Can't Commit ToAnyone, So You Just Run Of Aaaaaaall The People Too Stupid To Get Close To You Because Heaven Forbid You Ever Get Attched Enough That They Could Cause You Pain! And I Thought, Oh My God I Actually Believed, That If I Waited For You And Was Patient For You Then One Day You'd Wake Up And Realize I Broke Your Stupid Spell, And You'd Love Me Back!"
"I did love you back-"
"LIAR!" John screamed, and the shout startled Lafayette as he jumped back, blinking so that tears cut dark mascara lines down his cheeks. But the look of shock and horror he wore did not dissuade John's wrath. "I TOLD YOU THAT I LOVED YOU NO MATTER WHAT, I WANTED TO MARRYYOU, I WANTED TO SPEND MY WHOLE LIFE WITH YOU, BUTYOUWERE SO GODDAMN AFRAID OF BECOMING THE ONE PERSON YOU NEVER WANTED TO BE LIKE THAT YOU RAN AS SOON AS I CLOSED MY EYES! AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING LAF?" He laughed, hysterical in his madness, high on the words vomiting from his mouth, drunk on the release of pent up tension in his body finally finding a destructive release. "YOU'RE SO FUCKING RIGHT, IDODESERVE SOMEONE BETER THAN YOU! I DESERVE A BETTER FRIEND THAN YOU! IDESERVEA BETTER BOYFRIEND THAN YOU! YOU RUIN EVERYONE YOU TOUCH! THAT'S WHY NO ONE CAN STAND YOU FOR VERY LONG! THAT'S WHY THEY ALL LEAVE YOU EVENTUALLY, DON'T THEY?! THAT'S WHY YOU'RE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR SOMEONE LIKE ME, WHOSE MORE BROKENAND PATHETIC THEN YOU ARE BECAUSE WHEN WE LATCH ONTO YOU AND NEED YOU, IT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD AND LIKE YOUR WORTH SOMETHING, DOESN'T IT?! BUT GUESS WHAT LAF, YOU'RENOT! YOU NOT WORTH SHIT, YOU JUST WANT TO PRETEND THAT YOU'RE TRYING TO MAKE THEM BETTER AND MAYBE THEY WON'T LEAVE YOU, AND IT ALMOST WORKED, DIDN'T IT?! BECAUSE I FELL SO FUCKING HARD FOR YOU, DIDN'T I?! AND THEN YOU WENT AND FUCKED IT ALL UP BECAUSE THAT'S JUST WHAT YOU DO! SO CONGRAUDULATIONS, LAFAYETTE!" His voice was going hoarse from his screaming, cracking under the strain, tears spilling from his own cheeks, which was just as well because he didn't want to see the shocked and appalled look on Lafayette's face anyway, or the way his former best friend was now crying himself. "I've FINALLY Had Enough Of Your Bullshit, Because that's all it is, isn't it? Just a bunch of fucking bullshit, just like you. You are literally the shittest person I have ever met, Lafayette. I hate myself for wasting so much time on you. I hate myself so much that I wish I had just fucked my rapist again rather than go anywhere with you."
Lafayette shook his head, his hands covering his mouth, as if this would somehow undo everything John had just told him. "Non, you do not mean-"
"Get out of my life," John wanted to keep yelling. He wanted to scream until his voice was just gone, he wanted to take a swing at the French man, he wanted to shove him down and beat the shit out of him like kids had done to John in school. But he was tired, having spent most of his energy, the anger burning him out. "I hate you, Laf. I never want to see you again."
The sting of a slap turned his face, and he supposed he deserved it. Lafayette's sobs should hurt him, he should feel bad, but John didn't feel anything. John wasn't going to feel anything. And John certainly wasn't going to apologize.
"Do not ever call me that again!" Lafayette told him, his voice breaking under the emotional stress he felt now. "Only my friends call me that! We are not friends anymore!"
"Good."
"Are you happy with this?!"
"No, because you're still here."
John heard the French man sob once more before he turned and started walking away, leaving John standing in the doorway to John's room. After a moment of silence, the hot and heavy anger of the moment seeping away into the floor boards and dissipating in the air around John, John turned numbly back toward the door John had stepped out from. John's hands fumbled with the doorknob, turning it slowly and John's feet walked John back into the safety of John's room. It was empty, and quiet. And smelled of stale coffee.
John's feet moved on their own, shuffling over to the heavy wood and metal table that kept John's small makeshift kitchen. The coffee pot was half full as usual, staying warm on it's burner, the little note Alex wrote John this morning propped against the neatly folded and clipped bag of unused coffee. John picked it up as John always did but the words were too blurry to read and John didn't care to put in the effort. John put the note down again and took a mug from the shelf below, setting it on top of the note and slowly filling the cup with coffee. John's foggy mind misjudged how much coffee the mug could hold and it overflowed, spilling over onto the table and then over the edge onto the floor. John kneeled to get the paper towels, moping up the accidental mess robotically, only to make another mess when John got milk from the frigde and poured more liquid into the too full mug.
The coffee seeped into everything. Into the bunched paper towels on the table, into the note Alex had written, under the bag of coffee grounds, under the microwave, over the other edge and onto the floor. John touched John's face with warm coffee soaked hands, John didn't know what to do to make the overflow stop. John stepped back and the mess seemed so much bigger then what John could handle and John wanted to ask for help but as John looked around the empty room John realized there was nobody else around. John was alone with a mess too big to deal with and it felt so dumb to cry over the spilled milk and coffee but that's all John could do now.
He dropped to the floor and just started crying because he didn't know what else he could do about the mess he had made.
"So John hasn't texted me back yet," Alex said as he checked his phone for the millionth time that hour. "Which means we should pick up some hamburgers before going back to the dorm, cuz it's what my note told him I'd do...I don't know what kind of hamburger he likes tho."
"Just get him a cheeseburger," Oak told him as they walked. He wrapped an arm around Alex's shoulders to help guide the poor fool away from walking into people as they left the lecture hall. "Everybody loves cheeseburgers."
"What if he doesn't like cheeseburgers?" Alex countered, his mind puzzling over how the entire day had gone by without him once seeing John on campus or hearing back from him via text. "What if he doesn't eat cheese?"
"Who doesn't eat cheese?" Oak scoffed. "Everybody eats cheese. Cheese is delicious."
"Lactose intolerant people don't eat cheese," Alex mumbled, looking at his phone screen, again.
"I know at least two people who would stink you out of a room for daring to imply that."
"Nasty."
"Yep." Oak guided Alex away from a pole. "You planning on minding the world around you anytime soon or you gunna let me walk you out to the woods to murder you?"
"What?" Alex said, finally peeling his eyes away to look at the other. "What about a murder? Who got murdered?"
"You're so damn lucky to have me as your bodyguard right now," Oak told him. "Nobody got murdered," he said when he saw how worried Alex was looking. "Chill man. You've been wound tight all day."
"Sorry," Alex said, tucking his phone away and rubbing at his face. "Just...stress…"
"Look, I told you already, that Lafayette guy isn't someone you need to rile yourself up over. Burr will sort him out, as he does, and things will blow over."
"It's not just that he knows," Alex said. "It's who else he could have told. John has to know what I do for a living now, I don't see why Lafayette wouldn't have told him. And I don't know how John is gunna feel about that, about me. And I hate not knowing. I hate that he hasn't called back, John what the fuck why haven't you called me back? He has to hate me."
"You don't know that he hates you."
"Lafayette knows what I do for a living, tho. He's bound to have told all his friends so John has to know I lied to him, which means he'd think I'm a liar, which means he can't trust me, which means that he hates me."
"Lafayette is just a nosy busybody. He'll go away if you ignore him and give him nothing to work with."
"He said my stage name, Oak. That's not something I imagined, that's something he actually did. He knows. He knows who I am and if he knows that means anyone he knows could also know and I don't know how in the world Aaron is gunna keep this whole mess secret but the last thing I want and need is to have everyone at school know what I do for a living, even Benjamin isn't so goddamn flippant to let everyone know it's a side job for him for fuck's sake!"
"Alex, you need to take a few deep breaths and relax."
"I can't, I can't, I can't," Alex said, feeling his anxiety about the situation worsening. "I hate not knowing, I hate feeling like at any moment everything I've worked for is just gunna blow up in my face, I hate that I need a babysitter-"
"I can go if you want."
"GOD NO!" Alex grabbed hold of Oak's jacket reflexively. "Don't you fucking dare!" He halfheartedly slapped at the man's chest as he chuckled at Alex's mild panicking. "I just wish he'd never found out about my job, is all. Or at the very least, that he wouldn't be such a goddamn dick about it. Ooooh god, John is gunna hate that I can't get along with his friends."
"He's not going to hate you."
"He is tho! Who enjoys having a roommate who won't get along with your friends? But what else was I supposed to do, to say? I'm not here to fuck around, I'm here to get a goddamn degree and I won't be sidetracked from that! To hell with whatever Lafayette thinks!"
"To hell indeed."
"But no one is gunna side with me about the matter, and it's not fair to John that he got caught in the crosshairs of this! Of course he's gunna choose his friends over me, I won't fault him that, but it's just not fair! I don't want to be some anti-social schmuck who doesn't ever interact with people! But every time I do I have to keep this big 'horrible' secret about myself or people just get nasty about it! Like, ugh, I just keep thinking about when Lafayette hit on me and it was uncomfortable then but now it just makes my skin crawl! Because I wasn't on the clock and Jesus what did he even think was going to happen? Like, okay, sex is my job, but that's just the thing guy, it's my JOB, don't ask me to perform when I'm not at work, what the fuck?!"
"Never gunna get you a girl with that mindset," Oak half teased.
"No, that's different," Alex went on, already gathering the momentum for a rant. "If I was in a relationship there would be some, like, intimacy to it, right? It's not my job anymore it's, like, personal. But I dunno Lafayette didn't seem personal, he seemed...calculated? Like, he was trying to manipulate me somehow and I just didn''t know what for and now I guess I do and it was so gross. It's so gross. I can't-I hate that John knows him. Because oh my god, I just...they both said they were boyfriends once, and like, okay, I get that sometimes people break up and it's not some drop down, knock out, apocalyptic fight that severs all ties with both parties, like, sometimes people do stay friends after the romantic relationship is over because the friendship relationship is good or even better, but what gets me is that if Lafayette was that manipulative with me beforeany kind of a relationship was even started, then just, what the fuck was he like when John dated him? Ugh god, it makes me feel so gross, thinking about what he could have done to John and I just..I want to get him away from that, like even now he still plays games with John's head and Jesus fuck I just shudder to think of what John has to deal with now that I'm like, no Lafayette can't come over and no I don't want to see him around anymore. And I hate that! I hate that I can have these boundaries and it's going to protect me, but what about John? Because he shouldn't have to put up with that! I hate that he has to put up with that, and it's my fault and I hate feeling like that makes me some kind of bad guy, because it does but I'm not!"
"You really got it bad for John, don't you?"
"Got what bad?" Alex asked. "He's being manipulated and controlled by someone who calls him his friend. Do you not find that fucking deplorable?"
"Yeah, it's really bad," Oak said to pacify him. "But Alex, you can't make people do the right thing."
"I know," Alex sighed, covering his face with both his hands. "This sucks. It all sucks. Everything sucks."
"That's life, kid."
"I'm gunna have to move out."
"You can't move in with me."
"I can't stay with John either."
"Because he might know you're a porn star?"
"I wouldn't say star, but yeah."
"Have you considered just telling John what you actually do for a living yourself?"
Alex stopped walking so suddenly that Oak's arm slipped from his shoulders before he realized Alex wasn't keeping pace with him. Judging the slight;ly stunned look Alex had, he added, "You haven't, have you?"
"Well no, because I've never wanted to! Like I said, people can get so weird about-"
"Don't worry about people," Oak interjected. "Just think about John for a second. What do you think he'd say if you told him your side of things?"
"I dunno, 'ew, gross, get away from me'?"
"What if he was relieved to hear your side of things?"
"And why would he be relieved to hear my side of anything?"
"Got a feeling he would be. If nothing else, it gives you a chance to tell your story before someone else does. Set the record straight and all."
Alex considered the words, not looking completely convinced. "But what if I tell him and he thinks less of me?"
"His fucking loss then, right?"
"I mean, I would be losing-" But anything else Alex was about to say was cut off as his eyes went wide in terror and Oak whirled around just in time to catch Lafayette marching angrily toward them from the corner.
Alex ducked behind Oak, who stood at his full height, arms ready to engage the furious French man should he try to pass, slightly aware of the woman yelling from the car at the corner before she drove forward as the light changed. Another woman was frantically running after Lafayette calling for him to stop. "MOVE," Lafayette demanded as soon as he reached Oak, "I Have No Quarrel With You!"
"Oh no, you do," Oak baited him, holding hands out but not willing to touch Lafayette first. Alex kept a hand on his back to assure him he was still there, and not running off unprotected into the wilds of the college campus, and stepped back as Oak did the same to keep distance between Lafayette and them.
"You Are A CowardAlexander Lin Hamilton!" Lafayette yelled. "Hiding Behind Your Brute! Come Out Here And Face Me Like A Man!"
"I'm a man if I talk to you alone or around other peopleeither way!" Alex called over Oak's shoulder. "Besides, anything you have to say to me now can be said while he's around and after you calm down."
"NON!Je ne vais pas me calmer!"
"No hablo francés!"
"Laf! Don't do this!" Alex was distracted for a moment by Eliza's presence, trying to hold Lafayette back from taking a swing at Oak or going for Alex.
"Je ne parle pas espagnol!"
"Todavia no te entiendo!"
"Okay, I hate to be That Guy," Oak interjected, "But this is America mother fuckers, SPEAK ENGLISH!"
"You Are A Dog!" the French man snapped at him. "You twist my words all around to John and make him hate me, but you don't know what he needs when I DO!"
"John doesn't need a friend telling him what he does and doesn't need!" Alex shot back.
"No shit," he barely heard Oak mutter.
"And besides," Alex went on before Lafayette could retort. "I doubt my words alone are enough to make your supposed best friend hate you. At the very least you have to be doing some messed up shit to begin with, so why don't you go take a good long look in a mirror and ask yourself why you're such a spiteful person?"
"Oh Ho, Have You Not Heard?" Lafayette yelled furiously. "Apparently I am NOT A Person! Just Some Horrible Beast No One Wants To Love Because My Former Best Friend Thinks YOUAre His New Knight In Shining Armor!"
"Now look who's twisting words," Alex said as he peeked from behind Oak, but as soon as he caught sight of Lafayette his feelings changed. The man was furious at Alex, of that he had no doubt, but Alex saw the tears that had run down his face, black dripping mascara marks and smudged eye shadows, swatches of foundation and blush washed away underneath. He looked horrible and as scared as Alex was that he could ruin his life, he still felt bad for the guy. "You're not a monster, you're just acting like an idiot!"
"So Now You Call Me Stupid?!"
"That's Not What I Said!"
"ALRIGHT, THAT'S ENOUGH!" bellowed Angelica as she swooped in from behind her sister and the French man. "YOU!" she yelled, grabbing hold of Lafayette's shoulder and swinging him around to face her. "DON'T YOU EVERJUMP OUT ON MY MOVING CAR AGAIN OR I WILL RUN YOU DOWN THEN BACK UP AND RUN YOU OVER TWOMORE TIMES, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!"
"But h-"
"DO YOU UNERSTAND WHAT I JUST TOLD YOU LAFAYETTE,YES OR NO?!"
"...yes ma'am."
"GOOD."
"Angelica," Alex timidly greeted before flinching under the glare she leveled onto him. "Aa always, it is a pleasure to see you."
"Did You Tell John He Can't Be Friends With This Dumbass?!" she snapped at him.
"I certainly did not say any such thing," Alex said, stepping further out from behind Oak, though still staying a step behind him. "I said I don't feel comfortable with Lafayette hanging around the dorm, with or without me there." He turned his attention to Lafayette then, unflinching even under the glare he received. "Your implications that I'm some prostitute for hire or that I'm trying to lure everyone I come in contact with into my bed were incredibly out of line, sir. And you insulted me in my own living space; I don't want you around me or any of my things and I have a right to be respected. Furthermore, I certainly know it's not my place to dictate who my friends can and cannot be around on their own time, so if John has made a decision on that matter it was his choice to do so. If I played any hand in that it was only as a friend who supports his ability to think for himself. And he has a right to be respected."
"Oh, but do not respect me, I see how you are," Lafayette grumbled.
"No, even if I don't want you around I would still respect you, Lafayette. But it's really hard to do that when you call me names and scream at me. Hard, but I would still do so because I guess that's the difference between you and me."
"You are not better than me!"
"You're right, I'm not. Just different."
"Okay, I've heard enough," Angelica said, silencing what might have been another childish retort from Lafayette with a look. "You might not like it but Alex won this round of your little spat, Laf. We're going home now, so turn around and go get back in the car."
"Non," Lafayette said, shaking his head as he pulled a purse around from a strap across his chest and started digging through it. "This is not over, non, non, non, non…" Oak began pushing Alex back behind him but after a moment all Lafayette pulled out were two folded sheets of paper. "Here! You Take These If You Are So Sure You Are Better For John Then Me!"
"What is that?" Alex asked, hesitant to reach for it but when Lafayette jerked the papers away from Oak as he reached for them Alex rolled his eyes and held out his hand instead. Alex unfolded the papers and found they were tickets to a theater show he'd never heard of only two days away. "What's Jefferson the Musical?"
"You take him and you show him what kind of man you are!" Lafayette spat. "You only take John! You take anyone else and I'll have Thomas kick your ass!" Then he actually did spit on the ground near Alex's feet, pulled out a pair of sunglasses which he put on before finally whirling dramatically around to march away. Behind him Angelica rolled her eyes and turned to follow him, but Eliza lingered a moment more.
"Everytime he goes away he takes a piece of me with him," Oak said dryly.
"Sorry about all that," Eliza said, "Are you guys okay?"
"Yeah," Alex sighed. "Sorry you have to live with him."
"I've lived with worse."
"Why haven't you called me?"
"Eliza!" Angelica called from down the street. When her sister turned and looked she waved frantically for her to catch up.
"I'm sorry, I have to go," Eliza said as she waved to Alex. "Be safe getting home!"
"Bye," Alex mumbled at her retreating form. He stood silently for a moment, watching her catch up with her sister, ignoring the Look Angelica shot him as she waited for them, and the faded insults Lafayette hurled about him at the corner before he asked where Angelica had parked. They all three crossed the street and disappeared around the corner and Alex sighed, feeling like the biggest shit in the toilet.
"Really?" Oak finally asked him and Alex looked up, confused. "You're not gunna ask what piece he takes?"
"What piece who takes?" Alex asked.
Oak shook his head with a tsk. "Forget it man, the joke died when you failed to catch it."
"No wait, joke? I wanna hear a joke! Oak, tell me the joke!"
"No, the moment is gone, you lost it. Where are you getting me dinner?"
"I'll take you to your favorite hamburger joint if you tell me the joke?"
"Joke is dead now," Oak said, putting his arm back around Alex's shoulders and walking him along. "You slaughtered my dreams of being a comedian, man. Thanks." Alex knew what he was doing by his jovial little smirk and light tone, and he was suddenly very grateful to Oak for being more than just a bodyguard to him.
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!" Alex acted distressed, playing into Oak's ploy to distract him from what just happened. But if he thought Alex wasn't capable of catastrophizing everything while walking along and joking with a friend, he was mistaken. "Tell me the joke, please?" Alex was already worried sick now with what John could be feeling if what Lafayette had said was true, that they were no longer friends. He wanted to run back to their dorm and ask him what was going on, but wouldn't that seem odd? After all, Alex had told John to deal with his friend, and isn't that what John had apparently done? Hadn't he just ended whatever relationship they had? "I'll be a good boy, daddy, please?"
Oak looked away with a forced laugh and changed the subject, and Alex went along with it, shoving the paper tickets he'd been given into his hoodie pocket.
He'd see John in a little bit, they'd talk about what happened then.
END CHAPTER