Chapter 29:

Alex looked up as John and Thomas came trudging back into their dorm room. Whatever misadventure John had had at the doctor's with Thomas seemed to put John in a slightly better mood. Alex saw him smiling for just a minute as he set some bags down on his desk, although as soon as he caught Alex's eye his mirth seemed to dampen and Alex felt the familiar grip of anxiety tighten in his chest.

"Gimme them compresses," Thomas said, already digging into one of the bags John had. "I'm gunna put these in the freezer for you, try to use one before you go to bed tonight. Part of the reason you're so damn stiff is you didn't ice down yesterday."

"You're not my father," John mocked. "What am I supposed to do with the bandages?"

"Put 'em on a boo-boo."

"Gotta lotta those. I don't think this box has enough to cover all of them..."

"Um…"

"No, you only need one. Stick it over your cheek."

"Welcome back…"

"Where everyone can see it?! Hell no!"

"...how was the doctor?"

"It'll work better that way!"

"Leave 'em alone, Alex."

"But everyone will seeit!"

"And that's what makes it work. Here, lemme see," and Thomas grabbed the box form John, ignoring his indignant cry, and opened it. Alex tried not to stare, excluded from their moment as Thomas fished a bandaid from the pink box while John watched him, unimpressed. Thomas carefully opened the little pink strip with cute little animal designs on it and peeled it's backing away so he could stick it on John's still bruised cheek. John only only seemed to flinch on instinct, stilling himself and actually allowing Thomas to apply the bandaid. "There," Thomas said, as he carefully smoothed out his work. "You can't even see the boo-boo anymore."

John rolled his eyes and trudged, a little clumsy, to the bathroom. "YOU CAN TOTALLY STILL SEE THE BRUISE UNDERNEATH!" he shouted and Thomas cracked into laughter. "Ugh, it looks like I don't even know how to deal with a bruise!"

"Well, clearly you don't," Thomas replied as he walked over to John's freezer and deposited the cold compresses. He gave quick and sharp glances to Oak and Alex each, but said nothing to either of them before sitting on the edge of John's bed. "Otherwise you wouldn't have swelled up like you did."

"Jerk," John said as he came out of the bathroom. "Do you honestly expect me to keep this dumb bandaid on?"

"You wanna heal, don't you?"

"I think it looks alright," Alex tried to interject once more.

"No one asked you, Trash Gremlin."

"Thomas," John chastised, "Please don't start a fight with my roommate."

"It's okay, John," Alex piped up, trying to put on a smile that wouldn't stay in place. "If that's the worst he can call me then...you know what? I don't care."

"Word on the street is our boy Laf called you something a lot worse," Thomas said, his attention not focused on him. Alex missed the way he was staring Oak down instead. "Out of curiosity, you wanna talk about that?"

"Thomas, please don't..."

"No it's okay John," Alex said, crossing his arms over his chest. "Your friend Laf implied that I might be a prostitute."

Thomas snorted. "Males can't be prostitutes. Only women can do a job like that."

Alex tensed. "Well, I hate to inform you, but you're wrong."

"Who the fuck would even pay for a male hooker?"

"People who wouldn't want afemale one."

Thomas got a peculiar look on his face then, as if he was trying to puzzle something out. He turned to where John was pressing his face against the door frame to the bathroom and asked, "Yo John, are you selling your body on the streets for money?" John and Alex instantly wore matching looks of shock and outrage.

"What?"

"NO, THOMAS, YOU FUCKING TWAT!"

"Your dumbass roommate out here talking about male hookers being a thing, what do you expect me to think?!" Thomas yelled back. "Are you paying for male hookers then?"

"What?!" Alex repeated.

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!"

"Well," Oak said calmly to Alex, "At least he's not implying you're a hooker."

"Hold on guy, cuz I'm about to and follow it with how I think youmight be a pimp."

"Thomas!" John seethed at his friend. "Alex is not a prostitute! I am not a prostitute! And Oak is NOT our Pimp!"

"I would hope not," Thomas said, his eyes darting again to Oak before coming back to John. "But why would Laf think it if there wasn't something to it?"

"He said he thinks I'm propositioning strangers for money because I talked to three separate woman in one week," Alex said, tensing once more. "And just to remind you, Thomas, it was that implication that pissed me off enough that I asked John not to bring him around here anymore, so if you would like to be next on that list, please keep insulting me and my guest."

"You cannot kick out all of John's guests and expect to then turn around and allow whomever you want into the room," Thomas argued. "I will not leave until he does if you try to throw me out."

If that was supposed to scare Alex it wasn't going to work. He looked right to John, mildly miffed look on his face and asked, "Are you okay with absolutely no more guests in the room at all for the rest of the semester?"

John stalled for a moment as all eyes turned on him. Eyes on you, Eyes On You, EYES ON YOU. "Yeah," he finally got out with a little nod. "Yeah that sounds fair to me."

"John," Thomas started, looking at him worriedly.

"Alright then," Alex said, feeling as shocked as he too looked. He honestly expected John to fight him. He'd expected they wouldn't come to an agreement just like that. So he felt weird as he turned to Oak and said, "Well...you gotta go now."

"You sure?" Oak asked him gently.

"Yeah...sorry..."

"Sorry, Oak," John echoed.

"Are you kicking me out too?" Thomas asked.

"Well, you said you wouldn't leave until he did," John said. "Deal is a deal. No guests from either of us."

"Well, then I guess we'll be on our way," Oak said as he got to his feet. "John, thank you for letting me stay as long as you did. I wish you luck in managing Alex completely on your own."

"Hold on, what's that mean?" Thomas said, also getting to his feet. But Oak only smiled and pointed to the coffee machine.

"I don't know why you think Alex is a trash gremlin when I've always known him to be a caffeine fiend. C'mon Thomas, I'll buy you a drink somewhere if it'll make you feel better."

"Who says I want to go anywhere with you?! Or anywhere at all, really? John? You're just gunna kick me out too?"

"It's not you personally," John told him. He hesitated for a moment then hugged the Virginian, startling Thomas for a moment as he didn't understand why John would press their bodies together or squeeze him so tight. But against his neck and covered by Thomas's mane of thick hair, John muttered into his ear, "Text me when you get home, don't start a fight, please." Thomas barely had any time to hug John back before he was pulling away.

"Alright, geeze," he relented. "But don't forget to ice your wounds, and take some Tylenol, and I mean it keep the stupid magic bandaid on your face!"

"I will."

Oak made his way toward the door, with Thomas following behind him, and after a moment of waving, they shut the door on their way out and eventually left the building, leaving John and Alex alone with one another. For a moment they each stood in silence, not sure of what to say from everything that happened. Alex still wasn't sure John hadn't been told by Lafayette what he did for a living, and he hadn't had time to try to figure it out while still remaining undercover in case John wasn't aware. And John didn't know what he needed to say, if he needed to say anything at all, to fill the empty space between them.

"Are..." Alex started, "You aren't mad at me...are you?"

"For what?" John asked.

"For anything. For kicking your friend out, for making you choose between him and me, for making you coffee this morning, for breathing, are you mad at me for anything?"

"...Should I be?"

"I would be...I hate me sometimes."

"I don't hate you."

Alex laughed nervously, uncomfortable with how different his perception seemed to be from everyone else's. "Everyone keeps telling me that…"

"Must be true then."

He fiddled with the hem of his sweater sleeve, unable to settle his restless mind. "I didn't mean to make you choose…"

"I didn't choose, Alex. I talked with Lafayette like you asked me too and he got pissy with me about…" John sighed, gesturing vaguely into the room before shuffling to sit on the edge of his bed. "Everything, I guess. We...we never really worked out our problems from...breaking up...So...things were bound to go bad eventually. That's not really your fault."

"He thinks you want to date me."

John snorted, shuffling over to his bed and sitting down on it. "He thinks I should date everyone who looks at me for longer then five seconds and gives me a smile."

Alex took a cautious step closer to John. "You mean youdon't wanna date everyone who looks at you for longer then five seconds and gives you a smile?" To exaggerate his joke Alex widened his eyes and plastered a large corny smile on his face. "Why wouldn't you wanna date this?" John laughed and it was a welcomed sound.

"You look deranged, stop!"

He softened his expression, reaching out a hand to John and waiting to see if he'd take it. He felt better when his roommate did take hold of his fingers, squeezing lightly at the tips of them and rubbing his thumb over Alex's knuckles. "So that's a no?"

"I'm not gunna say yes if you ask me out looking deranged, no,"

"Fair enough," Alex said. "I think I am supposed to ask you out, though."

John's giggling faded out too fast For Alex's comfort, but he seemed more confused then anything when he asked, "What do you mean?"

Alex pulled the tickets Lafayette had nearly thrown at him earlier and handed them to John. "Laf gave me these. He said I was supposed to take you, on a date or something."

John shook his head, looking the tickets over. "He always takes me to a show or something when we're together. Museum visits, gallery openings, tours and concerts…" He shook his head and held out the tickets for Alex to take back. "It's not that I didn't like going, but...right now?" He shook his head more strongly. "I can't, Alex. I'm sorry. And I won't if it's something he's doing to throw a fit about our fight."

"No, I understand," Alex said. "I mean...it just seems like a waste of tickets if we don't go, right?"

"He gave them to you, didn't he? Why don't you just take someone else. Or give them to somebody who wants to go?"

"Guess I could do that." Alex sat down beside John on his bed, bumping his shoulder gently against John's. "So...are you feeling a bit better?"

"Kinda," John replied. "I mean, I still feel like shit, but that's just my life in general."

"I don't think it'll be that way forever. Tomorrow is a chance to start over."

"I really did miss the first day of classes, didn't I?"

"It's only one day, you can catch up." Across the room Alex's phone began to buzz but he ignored it.

"Aren't you gunna get that?"

"It's just work calling," Alex replied. "I pointedly told them I needed some time off, so no, I won't answer it because they can get by without me for a few days."

"But who will help people in crisis?"

Alex leaned carefully against John's shoulder, his arm snaking behind John's back and wrapping around his far shoulder. Idly, his other hand found its way to John's hands, folded in his lap. Fingers slid over each other in timid exploration. "You're the only one I can be worried about right now anyway."

"Me? Why me?"

"I'm not a doctor, John...so I don't pretend to know how your medication affects you...but you really didn't look good when I got home this afternoon and that's worrying me."

"I'll take my medication, if that's what you're getting at."

"It's not just that," Alex said. "I really wanna be your friend, John. A good one. So if there's anything I can do to help you…"

"I'll let you know." John rested his head against Alex's, and closed his eyes. For a moment the world was quiet and still, and John didn't care about anything else in the world. He only came back too when he jolted back upright from sliding to far forward, Alex also seemed to wake up then. "Shit, I'm tired…"

"Then we should get to bed," Alex said. "Did you take a shower yet?"

"No, but I don't need help in the shower," John replied with a blush. He squeezed Alex's hand before he got back to his feet. "I'll be out in a minute."

"Take your time," Alex told him. He stood up himself and stretched some, feeling better about their situation. The tickets fell from where he'd tucked them into his hoodie pocket and Alex retrieved them from the floor. He wondered what to do with them, even considered trying to give them back to Lafayette somehow. No, the guy was pitching a fit about stupid shit, and if he was always going to shows or whatever then he wouldn't mind missing one. Alex considered that Lafayette might have also bought another ticket for himself to spy on him and Alex if they had gone and he was suddenly struck with an almost vindictive need to show up with someone else just to spite the man if that was the case.

Alex picked his phone up from his desk and saw he had a missed call from Burr. He was probably calling to ask why the fuck Alex had dismissed Oak and possibly go over anything he'd discovered, but Alex was tired of worrying about it for now. John didn't seem to know, neither did Thomas and maybe they would find out and hate him, but as far as he was concerned that was Burr's mess to clean up.

He scrolled through the few contacts he did have, til he found Maria's number. It wasn't that late, but she never worked late, and he wasn't sure if she'd still be awake or if he'd be bothering her while she spent time with her family. He looked over the info on the tickets, realizing he really only had two days to find someone to go with and hit the button to call his co-worker. The phone rang four long times in his ear, and he was about to hang up when, during the fifth ring, a male voice answered the phone with a simple, "hello?"

"Um, hello," Alex said. He figured it was Maria's husband and was struck with a sudden feeling of awkwardness as he'd never even met the man before then. "I was looking for Maria? Is she awake?"

"Who's asking?"

"Alex, Alexander Hamilton," he replied. "From work, I, umm, I work with Maria, sir."

"Oh yeah, she's mentioned you a few times." He heard the other male chuckle. "So, how do you like her pussy? It's not too loose or anything for you?"

Alex shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "It's okay, it's just work, you know."

"You work with her a lot, don't you? Kinda favor her, don't you?"

"Um, we have good chemistry on camera, sir. That's all it is," he said, wondering if Maria wanted her husband to know about the time they'd had sex outside of work. He decided that wasn't his place to speak on.

"So does she feel better when you ride her bareback?"

"Is this a bad time?" Alex asked. "I can call back if she's unavailable."

"Yeah, she's unavailable at the moment. She's taking a little break from work, so you won't mind if I don't tell her you called, right?"

"Oh, uh, yeah...I'm sorry, sir. I didn't mean to disturb you. Can you just let her know this wasn't important and I'll talk to her when she gets back?"

"Yeah, sure thing. We'll talk later." And then the line went dead in Alex's ear.

He shook his head and told himself he'd ask Burr about Maria when he called back the next day. But now he wasn't so sure what he should do with the tickets. He supposed he could ask Oak to go with him, as a thank you for all his hard work, but that's assuming Oak would want to go. A theater show didn't seem like it was his thing.

Alex didn't know what to do with himself, so he turned on the soft warm Christmas lights John had brought and shut off the cold harsh overhead light of their dorm. He changed into his own pajamas and was just letting his hair down from it's usual ponytail when John opened the door to their bathroom. Alex smiled at him and the way he was fighting to get the hair tie out of his loose and tangled locks. "Want me to help?"

"This always happens," John sighed. "My sisters keep suggesting scrunchies for it."

"You'd look really cute with a scrunchie. Or a ribbon."

"Yeah, and then my father can be extra fucking pissy with me for wearing my hair in a feminine style. He already hates that I keep it long; wants me to cut it all off."

Alex carefully detangled the hair tie from John's locks "So what? You put a scrunchie in your hair and if he gets mad I'll put mine up in pigtails to distract him." He smoothed John's hair some, tucking little strands behind his ear and sending little shivers down John's spine. "You should braid it. It looked cute on your sister, I'm sure you'd look good in braids too."

"Is that your kink?"

"Are you gunna kink shame me?"

John chuckled, tilting his head into Alex's hand. "Depends."

"On?"

"On whether you're gunna stop giving me head sckitchies or not."

Alex chuckled. "Okay, I'm sorry but all I processed at first was 'giving me head' and, umm, my mind went someplace naughty for a minute."

"Sounds like a personal problem," John teased.

"What are head, uh, what did you call them?"

"Head sckitchies," John said, reaching for Alex's hair. His fingers massaged into the locks of his scalp. "You go sckitch, sckitch, sckitch," John explained, contracting and releasing rapidly with his hand and Alex leaned into him, going slack under the touch. John laughed as he brought his other hand up to the other side of Alex's head and worked on slowing the pace of his messaging. "And it feels good, right?"

Alex closed his eyes and made some barely intelligible noise that John knew was a positive sound. John gave him a few more minutes, then pulled slowly his hands free and Alex whined for a minute as John knew everyone who enjoyed that would do. "Shit," Alex said leaning back, "I knew I liked being petted, but that was something else."

"No one's ever just rubbed at your head?" John asked, surprised when Alex shook his. "Huh. I mean...my family does it to each other all the time, when we're being affectionate. Dad and Elias don't like it, but the rest of us take after Mom or something."

"Ah well, there's why I didn't know I liked it," Alex replied, shyly. Then he quickly added, "So if I do that back to you then you won't kink shame me?"

John chuckled as he retreated to his desk, fishing out the sleeping pills he kept in the drawer next to his bed. "I'll try not to kink shame you even if you don't," he said. He popped the pill in his mouth and walked back to the bathroom to get a drink of water from the faucet. "Can you check and see if either of those compresses are cold for me?"

"Barely," Alex said from the fridge as John returned to his bed.

"I figured as much," John said. "Well, it won't matter in about half an hour." Alex lingered by the foot of John's bed as he pulled back his sheets, looking a bit out of place. John caught his eye and asked, "what's up?"

"Is it...is it weird if I ask to pet you while you fall asleep?"

"Little weird, guy. Why?"

Alex took a deep breath. "Honestly, Because I've been..like scared and worried all day that you hate me. And I know you've said you don't, and if you need me to just accept that and move on then...I'll try too. But, I...I feel more secure with physical touch. Anyphysical touch, doesn't have to be like full on we lay next to each other cuddles or anything. And I know that's weird, but I don't know why I'm like this or what else to do about it, so just…"

"Okay."

"Wait, really?"

"Yeah. Alex, we've basically already shared a bed, like twice." John shrugged as he climbed into his bed and pulled his sheets up. "It's probably more weird that we've done that already then you wanting to like, pet me. And if that's all you need…"

"Promise it's all I need."

John snorted, smirking as he settled in and Alex pulled up the desk chair beside his bed. "Why do I have a sneaking feeling it won't be enough for you by the end of the semester?"

"Promise it will still be enough for me at the end of the semester." He reached out, stroking John's hair carefully. "I don't know why I'm like this. Thanks for not making me feel weird about it."

John nodded, the drowsy feeling of his medication starting to set in. "hey, i get head sckitchies now, it's good…"

"Like this?" Alex asked, kneading his fingers through John's hair.

"Mmhmm, is good…"

Alex kept his fingers buried in John's hair, rubbing little circles around the base of his scalp and watching his face soften as he fell deeper into sleep. He smiled softly as he brushed baby hairs away from John's forehead, and lightly traced a pattern of freckles on his unbruised cheek. His hands retreated to John's once he was sure the other was asleep, where he wouldn't feel Alex stroking him anymore. His fingers interlocked with John's, and he rubbed his thumbs over the bumps and curves of John's knuckles until he felt better about their situation. It's going to be fine, he told himself.

It was all supposed to be fine.

END CHAPTER