One Night in Chiba

by Honest Hemingway

A slightly drunk and depressed Hachiman Hikigaya finds himself in the company of a raven-haired office lady with the brightest blue eyes. What he thought was a simple encounter turns into a night filled with honesty, excitement, anxiety, stupidity and freedom. A simple story of two people connecting with one another set in the course of a single night. (Future Adult AU).

One Night in Chiba

Author's Note: Hello once more to another lengthy AU OreGairu fanfic, I know its been a long while since I've posted a story but now I managed to gain enough of an inspiration to write again. That being said, this will be my last fanfic I'll post here, I'll explain more later.

Warning: This rated T for some less than clean language use but nothing more than that. Since this is an AU, there will be some OOC moments and I apologize in advance if it bothers you. This is also unbeta'd, par for the course, and all mistakes are mine.

With that, I hope you enjoy.

-0-

There's something incredibly sad about human existence. The idea of suddenly being born into this world, forced to trudge on and accept the age old customs of the people who came before us, or else suffer in isolation. For we are ruled by laws we don't know and enforced by people we can't even see, it's a depressing modern dystopia a lot of us are willfully ignorant of and the mere fact some consider it as "just the way things are" and to find beauty in it is insulting. At the end of the day, you will be sitting on your couch watching TV, a good citizen who abided by the laws of the everyday, only to realize you are utterly alone and…

"Jesus Christ, did someone kill a puppy in front of you as a kid or something?", Hiratsuka-sensei questioned as she turned her eyes from the paper to look at me.

"Could've just said you didn't like it", I replied, giving her a deadpan look.

"I don't like it", she said as placed it on the table and slid it over to me. "It's that same cynical bullshit you've been peddling since high school".

I picked it back up and let out a disappointed sigh. I looked up at Hiratsuka-sensei once more as she drank half of the full cup of beer before slamming it down and letting out a loud sigh. I try to fight a grimace from forming on my face, it's not an everyday occurrence for me to see my former teacher getting herself inebriated in front of me and I have doubts tonight would be my last. Besides, it was Friday night and this was just a means for her to let loose a little.

"Heh, bullshit, you know you shouldn't be cursing in front of me, it sets a bad example", I retorted as I placed the piece of paper back into my portfolio.

"You're 25 years old, get over it", she bit back with a little more snark. "If I can't drink and curse in front of my favorite student then what's the point of waiting on you all these years?".

"I'm your favorite student?", I couldn't help but question, fighting back a smile growing on my face.

"Don't push it", she cautioned, pointing at me with a beer can in her hand before handing it to me. I took it from her and opened it, taking a gulp, and swallowing it whole. I felt the beer burn down my throat until it reached my stomach and let out a loud burp.

"God, it's hard to get used to the taste of beer", I hazily admitted as I took another sip despite myself.

Hiratsuka-sensei shrugged, "You get used to it, I swear…Anyways". That's when she straightens in her seat, stretches her back a little and cracks her neck. "You got any more you want me to read?".

I sighed, "That was the latest one that got rejected, I'm still waiting for my other one to be rejected and sent back to me", the sarcasm in my tone was meant to be biting but came off as more self-deprecating.

"Well, that's what you get for choosing the path of a starving writer", Hiratsuka-sensei teased with a sloppy grin on her face.

"I didn't think I'd actually be starving", I replied, rubbing my face a bit.

Hiratsuka-sensei then made a concerned face, scrunched brow, and pursed lips, a look I was accustomed to one too many times at this point.

"If you're in a bind I can lend you some", she offered but I waved it off.

"It's fine, I got a lot saved from my old job anyways", I shot down her offer with a wave of my hand. "Let's just order food and more beer".

She grinned and pointed at me once more, "Now you're speaking my language Hachiman".

Hiratsuka-sensei then turned and called out to a passing waitress and ordered a tray of food. The usual izakaya was a bit crowded tonight, given, it was Friday night and it was filled with businessmen and office ladies drinking themselves into oblivion with good food and company. Yet here I was, spending it with my old high school teacher. Some might raise a brow over how appropriate this kind of relationship is and at this point I'm too tired to be bothered by it.

It was the classic loner who befriended the only person who could stand to be around him, that just happened to be my English Literature professor and somehow this friendship of ours had endured through the years despite the 9 year age difference between us. Now that I'm an adult, she's been a little more casual around me and started this tradition of drinking out on any given Friday night and usually, she was the one who invited me, but tonight I was the one who invited her.

"So how's being the assistant head of the English department for the college?", I asked as the waitress placed two more mugs of beer on our table.

She made a noise like she was gagging, "Horrible, it's like my old job just ten times more stressful and demanding". She placed her elbow on the table and pointed her finger at me. "Do you have any idea how many thesis papers I've graded in the past 2 years?".

"Nope", as I drained my beer can.

"More than half of any thesis papers I've ever had to grade in my entire life", she complained, letting out a loud breath as she grabbed the beer mug. "I tell you, if I didn't have free time before…", she shakes her head as she sips the mug.

"Sounds like you aren't too happy with your job as well", I noted.

"Beggars can't be choosers", she said. "It was either this or move back to my hometown and stay with my parents and I'd rather die than go back to that town".

"At least you got to buy that Aston Martin you always wanted", I reminded her, the car she would spend afternoons raving about during lunch breaks.

"Damn straight, drives like a beaut and it gives me some good campus cred at least", she bragged to me. "Now they call me 'that English teacher who drives that cool looking car'".

The waitress returned and placed the food down, a plate of karaage, gyoza, yakitori, tamagoyaki and tsukemono. I picked up a piece of karaage and ate one, it wasn't enough to fill my stomach but it was enough to whet my appetite and so I ate a gyoza. Hiratsuka-sensei seemed to be equally hungry, practically taking the yakitori for herself.

As I was drinking down the food, she spoke up once more.

"So…", she started as she chewed the piece of chicken in her mouth. "How are things with you?".

"Well like I said, I got rejected for the 5th time by publishers..", I answered as I placed the beer mug down.

"No, none of that sad shit come on", she complained, before drumming her fingers against the wooden table. "What other stuff have you been up to recently?".

I chewed on a piece of tsukemono as I began to think about my routine the past few months. Aside from writing, I've been trying to get some exercise down so I've been jogging around the city every morning, and recently found a café I've been frequenting that serves great shortcakes. I found a small secondhand bookstore at the strip mall that has a lot of old books Komachi keeps telling me to read. Trying to break the habit of living off of MAX COFFEE everyday by drinking more tea, I had a bad case of insomnia one night and decided to stave off coffee drinking for a bit. Tried photography as a hobby before I grew bored of it, edited a few anime videos with a VCR grain and 90's reverbed music and posted them online but found it tedious after a few weeks and stopped completely. Any other prospective hobbies were either too time consuming or just didn't pique my interest in the slightest.

I scratched my head for a moment before realizing how empty and mundane my life was at the moment, a boring cycle of daily repetition with only momentary breaks when I go out somewhere new or try something new. But otherwise, it was the same thing almost every day.

"Honestly, nothing much, been trying a lot of things but I don't see it going far", I admitted. "It's like I can't find something I can sit down and focus on aside from writing and look where writing is getting me".

"Ah well, maybe you're still adjusting to the life of a freeter", Hiratsuka-sensei chimed. "You'll find your groove eventually".

"Yeah maybe, it just feels weird you know", I looked up at her. "It feels like I'm stuck running in one spot, which is why I quit my job in the first place".

"So what's the problem?", she questioned.

"I don't know-it's just…", I took a moment, thinking carefully about what to say next. "It feels like I traded one boring life of monotony just to live another one".

She nods but purses her lips once more, it's a thing she does when she's still processing what I was said. I suddenly feel ashamed for being such a mood killer on what was supposed to be a drink between friends, with all the carefree recklessness that came with it. But with Hiratsuka-sensei, who knows where a night could go, she's the type to not let up when she feels like there's a thread she can hold onto. Sometimes I feel like she just enjoys unravelling people, all the bare ugliness and raw emotions that hide within each one.

"I'm going to be honest, I am stumped with anything I can say to you", she admitted.

"Come on, my wise old- ", she snapped up with a deathly glare and I felt a chill run down my spine. "Amazing and smart teacher, give me something to hold onto".

She grinned at that jab, "What can I say? I don't know a lot of people who were in your situation, even myself".

"You don't know anyone who's ever quit their job at 25?", I questioned.

"Well I don't know anyone who quits a well-paying job after 4 and a half years", she specified and I feel the haze momentarily lift off my head and the crushing reality weighs down. "Which was a stupid move on your part".

"Yeah", I sadly caved. "Maybe I made the wrong choice".

"Oi, I said stupid not wrong", she corrected. "You can be stupid and still be right".

"Sounds like an oxymoron"

"You sound like a moron"

I chuckled unbelievingly at the childish retort as she stuck her tongue and drained the mug of beer she had. I continued to eat the other food and took sips of my mug as she ordered another one, this woman could outdrink a full-grown man. I mean, I am already one but she was on a whole different level.

"I won't sweat about it too much Hachiman", she once again reassured as she stuffed her mouth with the tamagoyaki. "You're still young, got a lot ahead of you still, it's better than waking up one day, realize you're a single 30-something stuck in a rut of a job whose last date stiffed her the bill and bailed the night before…".

Are you still talking about me?...I wondered as her new mug of beer arrived, lightening up her mood tremendously.

"But fuck it, world's your oyster all that jazz", she said, waving her hand, as if clearing away some unseen entity hanging over our heads.

"Well, to the prospects of our futures", I said as I raised my mug and she raised hers and drank.

Now the burning feeling from my stomach was slowly becoming haze slowly travelling up, like smoke wafting through the crevices, I felt it slowly taking over my mind, filling with a soft and fuzzy hue. Suddenly the colors of the lanterns that were hung around became a bit brighter and colorful and the soft melody of the music was almost lulling.

Hiratsuka-sensei drained hers once more before looking down at her watch and cursing under her breath.

"Shit, I forgot I have a staff meeting tomorrow", she said.

"Then why the hell did you agree to my invite for drinking?", I couldn't help but question as she stood up and began slipping on her coat.

She snickered, as if I still needed to question that, "As if I pass up an excuse to drink beer".

I rolled my eyes before chuckling slightly, even after all these years she still acted as the tough levelheaded but reckless and irresponsible adult that I knew since I was 16. I watched her as she put on her scarf, dug into her bag, brought out her wallet and handed out a couple thousand yen.

"Here, for the food and a good time", she said, holding it out to me.

I made a face when she said, "It's fine and don't word it like that, it makes it sound weird".

"I know but take the money, I don't want to feel like a freeloader", she insisted, slamming the money down on the table and sliding it over to me. "Same time next week?".

"Sure", I said as I picked up the money and stuffed it in my pocket.

Hiratsuka-sensei slowly turned to leave, before stopping and turning back towards me.

"Try writing something more uplifting next time", she advised. "You know, none of that cynical 'woe is me' nihilism 13 year old edge lords only like".

"Then what am I supposed to write about?", I questioned before she shrugged and replied.

"The world's a beautiful place, just appreciate the details"

With that, she turned, waved good night, and disappeared through the door. I sat there, staring at my half-empty beer mug before me. I watched the way the bubbles from the rim slowly trailed back down, it was a large mass of white fuzzy bubbles slowly shrank to one straight line as it reached the bottom, swallowed once more by the beer. Sensei's parting words still rang in my head.

Suddenly I find myself alone, I take a look around me. The place was packed tonight, an office mixer was happening a couple of tables behind me and another group of people were seemingly having a get together. The idle and casual chatter of work and projects and deadlines soon began filling the air around me. Somehow it reminded me of the same life I had lived before.

I could picture myself sitting at the table, 23 year old me Hachiman Hikigaya, shedding the black sportcoat with my white dress shirt rolled up sleeves, holding on a cup of probably non-alcoholic beer – "Need to be sharp for that presentation tomorrow" – I'd probably say with bashful smile and they'd be admonished and impressed by my steadfastness and straight edginess and we share a laughter as the night widened down.

I suddenly felt the haziness leave me and I suddenly became aware of how loud the chatter was, the noise of the grill cooking and the clanging glasses as the waitress cleaned up the table beside me.

"I think I'm done for tonight", I couldn't help but say, feeling a sort of heaviness settle in my gut once more. I tried to drown it out with the rest of the beer, before asking for the bill, paying, slinging my bag over my shoulder, and promptly leaving.

The cold spring evening greeted with me a soft breeze, it was already mid-April and the snow had long since melted away but the freezing night air had yet to follow suit. I shivered and crossed my arms over my chest and hunched, thanking my foresight to bring a thick jacket for tonight.

I checked the time and saw it was only 9:45 and sighed, realizing my plans of an all-night drinking party had been cut tragically short. So, I cut my losses and decided to head home for the night, wanting to make it as early as I can before the trains stop running.

I began walking to the station, it was already way past office hours, so the streets weren't as crowded as they were earlier. The izakaya we frequented was in the red light district of the city, so it wasn't much of a surprise to see the bars lit up and rowdy crowds still spilling in and out, some bar hopping and groups of workers drinking the day off. The Chiba nightlife was well and alive.

"Maybe I should start writing about drinking and partying", I muttered jokingly to myself, but realized how physically taxing being in a nightclub can be with all the dancing and drinking.

That's when I spot a couple passing by, arms looped around each other and the girl snuggling close to the guy. They share a laugh as the guy describes his day to her and she intently listens. They pass me and disappear into a bar and I feel something pierce inside of me as they do.

I realize it's been 5 years since I dated someone. I had a girlfriend during university, a nice, kind, funny and understanding girl named Hina Ebina. She was a classmate of mine, she sat quietly in the corner reading a book the first day I met her. Her short brown hair was tucked behind her ears and her brilliant eyes behind red framed glasses. "Must be a boring class if it barely started and someone's already reading" – I remember stupidly saying to her in an attempt to break the ice and she merely looked at me with a surprised but amused look on her face before laughing.

We started hanging out because of a mutual friend, flirted and teased each other for a bit before we decided to go all in and began dating. This might sound sappy but those were the happiest 3 years of my life.

It was like the gray hue of the world around me slowly found itself being infected by bright and wonderful colors. I remember each day with her wishing it never ended, the way she looked at me, the way she smiled, the way she'd scrunched up her nose or the cute way bites her lip when she's nervous or thinking deeply. Sadly, we broke up when she had to move and take up her final year of university abroad.

I was happy for her and knowing I didn't want to hold her back, I let her go. It took a while to get over her but I learned to move on but seeing that happy couple pass by me suddenly struck me with the reality of my life at that moment. Here I was, standing in the middle of the street, on an early spring evening, completely and utterly alone. I didn't exactly have any other friends I could call up, I didn't really want to bother Komachi, besides drinking with your older brother is pretty weird, and everyone in my old company practically ghosted me after I left, so my friend options became very limited as time went on.

"I need a drink", I finally muttered, the haze from earlier had all disappeared from my head and left me the bare and sad person I was trying to avoid being tonight.

I turned my head and saw I was right in front of a bar. But this bar stuck out like a sore thumb, tucked between low level buildings and more colorful and lively bars that surrounded, this one looked like an old brick building. It had a red brick façade, wooden door, and a vintage wrought iron sign on the side of it, bearing the place's name "Paddies". Upon entering, I realized it was meant to be an imitation of American bars and English pubs. With tables pushed against the sides of the wall, a few tables, and chairs in the middle and a bar top at the far right as one enters. On the various of TV's that hung about, one showed an ongoing baseball game, one was a current popular drama I never really watched, some American sitcom and the local news.

There's a quiet ambience to this place, a strange silence hung in the air as the noises and chatter all around me were merely droning on. I decided immediately that I liked this place, maybe I should recommend this to Hiratsuka-sensei the next time we go drinking. The bartender gave me a friendly grin as I sat down in the center of the bar.

"What's your poison?", he greeted me as I shed my jacket.

"Excuse me?", I questioned, obviously confused, draping the jacket over my thighs.

He leaned over a little closer, "Poison, you know, drink?".

"Oh", I realized and chuckled a little in embarrassment. "Sorry, I don't think I've heard of drinks being referred to as poison".

"Well they do over in the US, probably a Western thing", the bartender replied with a shrug. "So, drink?".

I surveyed the words written in chalk above us, some I recognized and some I didn't, all of them had the English translations of the Japanese words beside them, meaning this place was a popular foreign bar. After a long while of just eying past the same rows, I sighed and turned to face the eager bartender.

"What do you recommend?", I asked him.

"Well if you ask me, how about something simple?", the bartender recommended as he grabbed a small shot glass from beneath the counter and grabbed a clear white bottle from behind him. "Vodka shots?".

I gave a small nod and wave of approval. The bartender poured me one and pushed it towards me, hesitantly, I picked it up and gave it a whiff. The smell stung of sweetness and yet a strong pierce that ran up my nose, it was enough to make me cough a bit and the bartender plastered a small smile on his face, as if he was expecting the reaction in the first place.

I swallowed thickly and looked up at him, he had an expecting look and I sighed. I raised the glass to him and drank the whole thing in one gulp. The bitterness is what hits me first and it was a painful swallow as I feel it burn its way down to my stomach, it wasn't like beer with its almost comforting passage, this barreled through until it reached its destination. I coughed loudly, even staring at the shot glass, almost marveling at how small of a drink packed such intensity and flavor.

"So I'm taking that as a stamp of approval?", the bartender asked.

I swallowed again as I placed the glass down, "Kind of, that thing packs a punch", I shook my head to rid of the lightness. "I'll just have regular beer please".

The bartender shrugged, almost a little disappointed that my momentary curiosity and openness to drinking anything quickly ended. I gave him an assured smile, fear not bartender, my cowardice on trying new things just merely spilled out and it's not your fault whatsoever. He places a tall glass and fills it from one of the barrels that were also behind him.

I raised the glass at him as he went to tend to the other customer as I take another drink for the night. Rarely did I ever indulge in reckless drinking, since usually I had the accompaniment of my vulgar former teacher but tonight was just a night that I feel like I needed to let loose a little. Coming back to a lonely apartment really doesn't help ease this odd feeling inside of me.

"In other news, the hurricane has slowed down to a tropical depression as it leaves the Philippines earlier today…"

"I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love…"

"And strike three! Nakamura is out, another disappointing season for the home team…"

The noises of the TV's that surround me seem to drown out completely as I drink the beer glass continuously, it's already half empty when I find myself drawn to one of the TV's playing an old commercial and I smile a little. A small feeling of nostalgia hits me as I watched it. It soon ends and the bar reflects on the small window of the blank screen before another commercial plays. I sighed out before drinking once more, there's some weird dramatic irony to that, but if anything, it might already be lost to me.

My phone vibrates in my pocket and I fish it out and see that it was Komachi sending me a LINE message.

Komachi: I don't want you to do something stupid while drunk.

I smirked a little at that before replying.

Me: You got bail money right? I'm kidding, just going to drink a few more before heading home. Sensei abandoned me so I'm flying solo.

She replied instantly, sending a sticker of a duck wearing a kadomatsu glaring at me, it was that Ducky-maru mascot she's obsessed with.

Komachi: Not funny, minus 20 Hachiman points, just keep safe.

That's when movement to my left flutters my eyes over there for a moment, a couple of women move away from the corner of the bar top and there sits another. She could almost melt into the background with how still she was, she was dressed in the usual office lady garb, but she shed her coat and was wearing a pencil skirt and black pantyhose, her coat draped over the bar top before her, along with a small wine glass that looks barely touched. Her nose deep in a book, seemingly oblivious to the world around her.

"Hey, that's a pretty cute girl right?", I hear distant whispering behind me and I turn to see a couple of guys whispering amongst themselves.

"Hell yeah, I don't think I've seen someone like her in this place", the other replied and chuckled.

I turned to her once more and I admit, she was a beauty.

Long raven hair that was tied into a messy ponytail, slender legs hugged by the pantyhose, soft and delicate hands grasped the red covers of the book she held. She looked like a scene in a vintage movie filmed in black and white, had the still beauty of a yamato nadeshiko draped in modern clothes and placed against a modern setting. A photograph taken in order to encase beauty in its purest form.

"So you going to talk to her or what?", the guy behind me tried to coax his friend.

"Please, what am I even going to say to her?", his friend questioned.

"You don't even need to say anything to her", he reasoned. "Just be charming and funny, girls love that shit".

His friend chuckled, "Where the fuck did you even learn that?".

"This pick up artist course I started…"

I visibly rolled my eyes at them, the obnoxious need to draw women's attention through the help of internet con men preying on desperate and lonely men is a pandemic. I've grazed the presence and videos of said "women experts" before and they were far from anything charming or funny in the slightest.

She also seemed to think so, momentarily glancing at the pair of men behind me with her piercing blue eyes that conveyed her disgust and annoyance at their (not so) hushed conversation. Taking a sip from her drink and returning to her book, she had a cool beauty to her too it seems but I returned to finish my beer and request another glass. I was not nearly as drunk as I wanted to be.

The baseball game ends and the news signs off, some people that were here earlier had already left and I'm only halfway done with my 3rd glass of beer. The obnoxious pair behind me were now goading each other, daring the other to walk up to the girl and talk to her. She herself has barely moved from her spot, the pair of women that sat beside her earlier had bid her a good night and I managed to catch her name.

"Have a good night Yukino-san"

Yukino…like snow, somehow that name fits her…

She nods her head but does not reply before resuming her reading as soon as the women turn away. No words, no sweet goodbyes or take cares, shallow hugs, just a straight to the point good night and goes back to what she was doing. Maybe she was a cool beauty, I drained my cup, maybe I've been drinking too much at this point. I decided to order some ice water, loiter around for a few minutes before resuming the journey home.

The water arrives and I glanced over as she drains her drink and orders another. I take a sip, the cool water cascading down my throat is enough to quell the heat in my body. I shake the fogginess from my head, the music is turned on and it's Frank Sinatra's "Fly Me to the Moon", it fills the room with this mellow vibe, an ethereal feeling of familiarity that lulled the surroundings as Sinatra's vocals played throughout.

Unconsciously, my eyes wander over to her once more. She turns a page on her book and she shifts her face slightly to read it and I gaze at it, under the light of the chandelier that hangs above us. I was suddenly struck by her beauty, the softness of her face and how delicate her features are, even with the shadows casted by the light above her. For a moment, I saw Hina, her short brown hair and red framed glasses, her face cupped in her hands as she looked down at her book with a small smile on her face.

I blinked. The illusion dissipates and I notice she is now staring back at me, our eyes meet and I look away immediately.

Oh great…you got caught creeping on a random girl in a bar…I internally cursed myself, burying my face into my hands.

The fogginess in my head made me feel light and I rubbed my eyes, trying to clear my vision before pulling away and drinking the rest of the water. I didn't turn nor did I move, fearing the scrutiny I knew I would face from her. I doubt anyone is a fan of being stared at a bar, especially since she's been hearing two guys whispering amongst themselves on how they would "get with her". Surely, her mood had already soured at this point and I decided to stay put and not do anything else.

"Bill please", a sharp voice sliced the air.

The bartender nodded his head and went to fetch her check and I merely sat there, deciding that I should ask for it too, just so I can get out of here faster. She pays her bill, stuffs her book into her purse and drapes her coat over her shoulder and begins walking out. I look away once more as she passes, but then I feel her beside me and I look up and she's looking down at me.

Her piercing blue eyes looked down with a cold and hardened gaze, enough to make me squirm, but it was her words that cut deeper than her eyes ever could.

"Next time you creep on a woman with your lecherous eyes, maybe don't try getting caught"

I say nothing but look away, red faced and embarrassed. She walks away and heads for the door, the two guys behind me were seemingly cut down by her words as well. The pickup artist guy turns to whisper to his friend as they watch her walk away.

"Never mind, she seems like the scary type"

"Agreed"

Even the bartender gave me a tight smile as he handed me my bill and I merely sighed as I paid. Stood up and was in the process of putting on my jacket when something caught my eye. At the edge of the bar from where she sat was a wallet. She must've accidentally placed it down and forgot to pick it up again. A sudden feeling of apathy washed over me for a moment, whatever happens to her affects me none whatsoever anyways. But my better nature won out, especially since I noticed that it's been a few minutes and she still hasn't returned.

So I picked it up, zipped up my jacket, slung my bag and headed out after her.

I stepped out and began looking around to see where she was or how she had gotten, but there were no signs of her in the street. I immediately began walking towards the train station nearby, a logical exit point from this place and I could possibly find a police box I could drop it off. As I walked, I gazed down at the wallet in my hand, it was a high end looking wallet, the type of brand I would gaze at window shopping but will never actually buy cause the price tag could send my bank running for the hills.

She must be pretty high end…I began to think.

She did give off that aura, by her harsh tone and sharp eyes. She's probably a tough, no nonsense and strict person. Her soft face was merely a mask, a Venus fly trap, a way to lure in the most unsuspected people before she opens her mouth and ensnares them with her harsh words. Words she seemingly has no hesitation using, even to a complete stranger like myself. Somehow it had shaken me awake, even just by a little. Like a blinding light finally hit me in the eyes as I saw adrift in a foggy sea. It sobered me up, just a little bit, my steps swayed a little and the lights that surrounded me were still hazy, words were just blurbs and the noises seemed so far and distant in the background.

I even began thinking I should just rifle through her wallet, see her address and hand deliver it myself. But I rejected that idea almost immediately, it was creepy and unwanted and I would rather not spend the night in jail and wake up in a cold cell with a hangover.

Before I knew it, I had arrived at the station and by the steps, was a woman crouched, digging into her purse and with a slight panic in her movement. I recognized her coat and hair, it was her, clear as day. I had begun walking up to her, thinking of what to say to her or what her reaction would be, would she be relieved? Thankful? Happy? Be apologetic about earlier?

She looked behind her as I neared her, raising the wallet in my hand as I stopped in front of her, and giving her a sincere smile and I was met…with a huff before she marched over and snatched it from my hand and began checking its contents. I stood there awkwardly as she did, with hands in my pockets seemingly expecting for that 'thank you' that I originally anticipated.

"You have my gratitude for returning my wallet to me", she said after taking out her train card and closing her wallet. "And surprisingly, all its contents undisturbed…".

"It's because I'm not a thief", I corrected her.

"But…", she paused before pointing an accusatory finger at me. "Don't think this erases the way those lecherous eyes of yours stared at me practically the entire night".

"Yeah, sorry about that", I apologized sincerely, rubbing the back of my head in embarrassment. "Guess the beer got over me and I wasn't really aware of what I was doing".

Her face softened a bit at my apology before she lowered her hand, "Well as long as you're apologetic about your actions, I don't feel like I have to lecture on how inappropriate it is to stare at a woman in a bar…".

Jesus, she lectures me harder than Hiratsuka-sensei…I thought as she continued, unbothered.

"And since we're complete strangers I want us to part amicably like normal adults", she finished. "Besides, I doubt we'll see each other ever again".

"Right on that front", I replied, she visibly huffed but proceeded.

"So, thank you and good night", she said, turned and headed into the station and disappeared from my sight.

I looked at my watch, it was already 11:09 and that meant trains would stop running after a while. I decided to cut my losses for the night fully, head home and then go to bed. I felt my head lighten for a moment and I shook my head to rid of the cobwebs that seemingly began to form. The headache tomorrow would be a killer but at least I had nothing to look forward to tomorrow so I can just laze around the bed all morning.

I entered the station and began heading to the platform. Good thing my station is just at the end of this line so I didn't need to worry about leaving connecting to another line. Somehow, my thoughts drifted off and I began thinking of that girl, Yukino, now I remember her name. A name that reminded me of snow, the way it just rained slowly to the ground from a dark and dreary gray sky and piled up the roads. I began thinking how easily it could melt away come spring, gone, and disappear as if it was never there in the first place.

Now I feel a little down. I didn't get to talk to her more, noting her looks, I definitely thought she was beautiful and cute as well, cold with her words but she seemed like a nice enough person. A feeling of disappointment starts at the pit of my chest, huh, maybe I'm forming a crush on a random stranger all of a sudden. But I stopped myself when I heard the announcement that the train as I reached the platform and stood in line with other people.

The station was pretty crowded at the moment, which was a given, it was one of the last batch of passengers heading home for the night. I try my luck and look around, maybe to see if she's among the sea of faces of people that surrounded me, but to no avail. She might not even be using this line, I was just being hopeful and naive. Guess that encounter was just a one time thing, I mean, I can always try my luck and hang around Paddies' until I run into her again but I'll just be a creepy stalker so I sighed to myself.

The train pulls in and I step aside as the doors slid open and the other passenger disembarked.

Ah well…I thought as I entered the train car and sat down…It's not like I'm ever going to see her again anyways.

"Oh…"

I looked up and sitting right in front of me was Yukino. She had a surprise look on her face, which I'm sure was plastered similarly on my face. There she was, Yukino just sitting there right in front of me. I feel the pull of the universe at the moment or maybe it was God playing some cruel joke.

The other passengers fill in and the train lurches on, there weren't many standing so our view of each was not obscured. But we don't speak, instead she takes out the book from her purse and I, deciding to not look like a creep, scrolled through my phone mindlessly as the train ride dragged on. With each stop, the passenger slowly began to trickle down, and yet she didn't get off, but stayed firmly planted in her seat. It's not like I was watching her or anything, I just had a perfect view that if I glanced my eyes up slightly and she was still there, reading her book.

Somehow, she makes it look so effortlessly the way she does it, it carries a certain charm almost. Never thought I'd ever find someone just reading a book in a crowded train to be charming but she is. So I looked away, stared at my phone, and hoped we would arrive at the last station so I could part ways with her and rid myself of the feelings from earlier. Pretty soon, there were only 5 of us in the train car and as we pulled into the station, the 3 passengers got up and disembarked and we're practically the last people on the train.

I glanced around me and saw that we were the last passengers in this car, and so she closed her book and I looked back at her.

"I don't mean to be presumptuous", she started. "But you're not a stalker are you?".

I raised my hands in surrender, "Honest I'm not, my station is just last on this line".

"So this is just a strange coincidence ", she concluded.

"Or some God up there really wants us to meet", I joked but she was stone faced in her reply and I clam up.

"So it was a work of God that I caught you staring at me earlier?", she questioned and I internally cringed at that, it seems like it was something she wasn't going to let go so easily.

"That was stupidity on my part", I admitted as I sat back with a shrug. "I was just…", I struggled to find the proper words as my mind swirled. "weirded out 's all".

She made a face, "What was so weird about what I was doing?".

"Oh come on, you were reading a book in a bar", I replied. "No one goes to a bar to read, it's like going to the library to get wasted".

For a moment, she is still stone faced before a smile breaks from her mouth and a chuckle erupts from her. So much so, she has her shoulders scrunched and shaking, it's a low one and is sprinkled with genuine delight, I decided that I really like her laugh.

"I'm guessing you're a writer?", she questioned.

My eyebrows scrunched in disbelief, "Yeah, how'd you guessed it?".

She shrugged, "You carry that intellectual arrogance".

"Intellectual arrogance?"

"Exactly, like, 'I read one good book about a sarcastic protagonist now the only way I can capture it is by projecting it'", she explained. "Those types".

Now that got me smiling a bit, a small chuckle emits from my mouth and I shake my head, the fuzziness and the haze slowly ebbing away as I do.

"You hit the nail on the head", I replied. "You're pretty good at reading people".

"I'm just good at people", she said before opening her book and resuming her reading. "But that's neither here nor there, I'm not exactly comfortable talking at length with a stranger".

"Neither am I", I replied before staring back out the window, distracting myself as I awaited for us to arrive at the next station, after that one, I'm on a straight shot home. "And the name's Hachiman Hikigaya, so at least I won't be a nameless stranger to you".

She smirked, "Yukino Yukinoshita and likewise".

Yukino Yukinoshita…her parents really dug in deep for that name. But somehow, the last name struck with a feeling of familiarity, like I've seen or heard that name somewhere before. It feels like I've heard or seen the name somewhere before. But I ignore it for now, its not like it was important or anything.

"But I am not here to play 20 questions with you Hikigaya-san", she said, barely sparing me a glance. "Besides, it's not like we're going to see each other ever again".

"Agreed"

That's when an announcement came through the speakers:

"Due to an unforeseen maintenance shutdown at the final station, all remaining passengers must disembark at the next station. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause…We repeat, due to an…"

At the next station, we disembarked, a few other passengers with us as well, some visibly annoyed while others just as usual. We walked beside each other, no words were exchanged, just silently walking out of the station. In my head I wondered that maybe it was some unseen hand of God doing all of this, some twisted sign that me and this random stranger were meant to meet each other. Maybe I've been drinking too much and need to head home and quit bothering her. I decided the latter seemed more viable.

When we reached the front of the station, wordlessly, we parted ways. Splintering off into the night, never to see each other ever again…Which I wished where things had ended, but as I turned and slowly walked away. The familiar feeling of disappointment from earlier bubbles inside of me, somehow, I feel like if I lost sight of her, I truly may never see her ever again.

"Yukinoshita!", I called out to her as I turned around.

She stopped and glanced behind her, tilting her head slightly, wordlessly questioning why I had called out to her out of the blue.

"Want to go somewhere to eat?", I posed the question as I walked up to her.

"Are you seriously asking me out on a date?", she questioned.

"No, I'm just hungry and I've had nothing but beer and bar food all night, which isn't exactly that filling", I replied earnestly.

"Are you drunk?"

"Only slightly"

Yukino turns to me fully, looking at my face, scrutinizing for any possible signs of ulterior motives. But I am blessed with having a pretty honest face, at the very least, I don't try to hide anything if I'm being sincere towards someone. An honest face, it's one of my strengths.

"Okay", she accepted before turning slightly and nodding her head down the road. "Come on, I know a place, they serve some pretty great noodles".

-0-

The diner was located just at the east exit of the station, a perfect place to draw in some late night customers who just stepped down from the last train. The aroma of the open kitchen cooking was enough to lull a person in, the smell alone was delicious and the place was nice too. Small and cozy, a few chairs were lined up against the far wall, opposite of the bar counter for other customers, and behind it was the kitchen. The whole place was bathed in a brownish light by the lights above, highlighting the red lanterns that were hung on the sides.

There were a handful of customers, aside from me and her and a kind middle-aged woman delightfully taking our orders, I'm pretty sure she thought this was some late night date rather than…whatever this is that we were doing. I was just having a late dinner with a random woman I met in a bar. I don't know if there are words for that.

Past strangers but barely acquaintances, that was the best way to describe the moment.

"So what do you do for a living?", I asked as I placed my bag down against the wall.

"Thought this wasn't going to be a date", she replied as she shed coat and placed it on the chair beside her.

"It's not but it doesn't mean we can't learn more about each other in the meantime", I reasoned as I shed my own jacket as well.

"Sounds like a roundabout way of saying you want to turn this into a date", she refuted.

"It's not a date", I said. "Come on, let's inject something productive into this moment Yukino Yukinoshita".

Yukino looked unimpressed before gazing downwards to her hands and twiddling her thumbs, seemingly weighing her options at the moment before sighing, smiling to herself slightly before looking back up at me.

"First, I prefer you not call me by my full name, it's weird", she started and I nodded in agreement. "And I work in advertising".

"Advertising? Like working on commercials and billboards?", I asked her.

She shrugged, "Tell me something about yourself first and then I'll continue".

"Are we exchanging personal information now?"

"More like a barter system", she said. "Tell me about yourself and I'll tell you about myself, it's only fair…Hachiman Hikigaya".

Somehow, I find myself smiling a lot more the longer I talk to her. I wondered if it was because of the slight drunken state I was in that's causing me to be a lot more comfortable around her, that in under any other circumstances, I would be closed off as usual, especially with a literal stranger. But with Yukino, it already suddenly feels okay to be that open, like a warm bed after a long day, warm and soft that you could just melt into with a care in the world.

I looked at her, her face eagerly awaiting my reply, her deep blue eyes unnaturally shimmering with a small smile on the corner of her mouth. In the brown hue of the lights above us, she was absolutely beautiful.

"Well, you already know that I'm a writer", I answered her, as the waitress delivered us a pitcher of water and a couple of glasses. "Or at least I'm trying to be".

"Not published yet?", she inquired as she picked up her glass.

"More like trying to get a proper editor and keep getting rejected", I admitted. "But I shan't be deterred".

She smiles at that, "What brimming optimism".

"I kind of have to, if not, then I'll be forced to look for another job"

"You don't have a job?", she questioned.

"I quit to be a writer", I replied.

At that, she nearly slams her cup down with how shocked she was. Her eyes widened as they stared at me, I was used to it at this point. Not everyone is exactly behind the idea of quitting a well paying job just to pursue a passionate hobby that isn't exactly profitable, unless you make it big of course.

"Now tell me about you", I said after a few moments of silence. "You work in advertisement?".

Yukino blinks, as if she had suddenly crashed back down to reality after floating off somewhere. She had been staring at my face, something she does when she's trying to catch me in a lie, but there was no lie in my words and it's something she comes to accept at this point.

"Yeah", Yukino replied. "I work for an ad agency, not exactly the most exciting job in the world".

"I wouldn't say that", I reassured her. "Have you ever made something I've probably seen?".

She thinks for a moment, I've noticed her eyes wander a lot when she's thinking before she replies to me.

"Ducky-maru, you know Ducky-maru?", she inquired and I nodded my head, remembering the advertisement for a curry ramen that had a duck wearing a kadomatsu that went viral a couple of months ago.

"Yeah, that duck wouldn't leave my twitter feed for two weeks straight", I replied.

She gave a proud smirk, "My agency were the ones who made the viral campaign and…", she pointed her thumb at herself. "I was the one who designed him".

"No shit, really?", I couldn't help but get a bit excited. Komachi loved that mascot and meeting the person who created him would truly boost my big brother points.

"Yep", she then turned and began rummaging through her purse as she continued to explain. "The company that hired us held a competition to create a new mascot for their new curry ramen line and I entered my design and won".

Yukino then brought out a small notebook, opened it, flipped a few pages before placing it down on the table and turning it towards me. On the page were dozens of doodles of ducks wearing various outfits, one was dressed as a cop, another a nurse. One was holding an oversized chopsticks and another was wearing a Hawaiian shirt. Turning the page back, there were even early ones that were a cat and a panda. In short, it was a notebook that was a testament of an artist.

"These are pretty cute", I confessed as I flipped another page to see the final designs of that famous duck, from a kimono to wearing the famous kadomatsu. "You're a really good artist".

"Thanks, I just like to doodle a lot so why not put it into good use", she replied as I closed the notebook and slid it back to her.

"Though I don't think I saw your name mentioned anywhere", I said.

"I couldn't really attach my name on it since it needed to be a company creation but I don't care much about the spotlight", she answered, before shrugging. "I just wanted to draw a cute duck".

"Well my little sister loves that duck, so on behalf of her and Ducky-maru's fans", I bowed my head slightly. "Thank you".

She chuckled and bowed her head in reply, "Tell her thank you as well".

That's when our orders finally arrived, mine was stir-fried udon, I was in the mood for something fried, while she ordered kitsune udon. It wasn't until the smell of the food hit that I realized how starving I actually was, I immediately shoved in a mouthful before taking a bite from the boiled egg side dish I ordered. I looked up and watched as Yukino took a long sip from the spoon before taking a mouthful of noodles herself, she looked up and caught my gaze as she chewed. She gives a small smile before resuming eating.

No words were exchanged as we ate our food, instead, we let the ambience of the diner fill the silence between. From the casual chatter from the other tables, the sound of food being cooked and the noises of the night like the passing cars and the occasional meowing of stray cats.

Something about this moment, just eating noodles with her in a small diner in the middle of the night, somehow it felt…right. Like I wouldn't want to be at any other place but here, a warm feeling spreads across my chest and I merely bury it with food.

"So…", I spoke up before swallowing the mouthful of noodles. "Why advertising?".

She took a bite from her spinach salad, "Why writing?".

"Barter?"

Yukino nodded in reply.

"It's the usual, I got told I was really good at it when I was in middle school", I began as I picked up a mushroom from my bowl and ate it. "And when I got to high school, it turns out I was really good at it, so why not?".

"Sounds simple", she replied.

"Life is simple, its people who are complicated"

Yukino raises a brow at that and I merely shrug, I somehow think of Hiratsuka-sensei when I say that. She was the type to exposit some much needed quotes here and there, I wonder if she makes it up or paraphrases the things she reads and just repeats them. But it's a habit I picked up, when the chance arises to say something poetic, I take it.

"Jeez, are you going to be like that for the rest of the night?", she questioned.

I shrugged before turning the conversation on her, "So why advertising?".

"I don't know", she shrugged in reply. "Wanted to do something fun after university, took up a degree in communication and arts so why not right?".

"Right", I agreed. "So what'd your parents say after that Ducky-maru thing blew up?".

"They hated it", she replied and I couldn't help but double back at that. "They never approved of my line of work".

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, they said it was somewhat 'beneath' me, as if there's some standard of occupation a Yukinoshita should've abided by"

"They sound pretty full of themselves"

She picks up her glass of water, "Well if you knew my parents, you could see why".

"Thank God I don't", I blurted out and clammed up immediately, but she didn't seem to mind at all.

"I don't know…", she said as she placed her chopsticks down and crossed her arms over the table. "I just…I wanted something for myself you know", she looked up at me, I could see her eyes soften a bit, like a raging river slowly calming down. "Something I can say that's wholly me and not my parents or-or anybody else, it's just me. Maybe I'm being vain..".

"No it's fine", I reassured her. "You want to be your person".

"Yeah I do", she admitted. "I guess I just don't want to feel like I'm stuck running in one spot for the rest of my life".

I find myself taken aback by those words, so much because I've said those exact same ones. For a moment, Yukino seemed like a person I knew my whole life just by sitting there talking to her. Shedding the cold and hardened exterior from earlier, it's like I'm seeing her truly for the first time tonight, with all the bare ugliness and raw honesty that came along with it.

Wordlessly, I nodded and gave her a comforting smile. She replied the same before resuming eating, I did as well, taking another mouthful of noodles but a feeling inside of me bubbles, the feeling of truly understanding someone for the first time. The noises of our surroundings fill in the silence afterwards.

-0-

"Have you ever dated anyone?"

I gazed over at her when she asked that and she merely stared at me in anticipation. That was probably one of the last things I ever expected her to ask me, that's why I was so caught off guard and mentally struggled to answer her back.

A car drives by, its headlights illuminate the closed store fronts we were walking in front of. The light catches her momentarily and she squints her eyes for a moment, somehow, I admire the way her nose scrunches or how she raises her hand to block the lights as it passes us by. We were currently walking, no real destination in mind, just a stroll in the neighborhood as a means of letting our food settle.

It was a quiet affair for a while, just letting the noises of the night substitute conversation. It was a peaceful night, the cold breeze of mid-Spring air and the fresh smell of the cherry blossoms still lingered. That's when Yukino decided to ask me that question out of the blue.

"Yeah I did", I replied after a few moments. "Had a girlfriend when I was in university"

"Oh?", she reacted with a surprised look.

I smirked a little, "Why the look? Didn't think someone like me could get a girlfriend?".

"No, I'm just surprised you got a girlfriend", she answered back.

I mocked glared at her, "I feel like I should be offended by that".

She chuckled at my expense and I merely smiled at her. I think of Hina once more, the second time tonight, but this time I don't feel as down as I was earlier. Sure when I think of her, I often feel the heaviness press against my chest and I couldn't help but feel down for the rest of the day, but not tonight.

"Her name was Hina Ebina", I began reminiscing as I talked about her. "She was the cutest girl I ever met and she loved to read. We had classes together and hung out with the same people, said same people thought we were cute together and I told her we were". I smiled stupidly as I remembered the day I asked her out, the nervous stuttering and sweating and she looked gorgeous doing that, me? I probably looked hopeless.

"So what was it like?", Yukino asked, breaking me momentarily from my trip down memory lane. "With her I mean".

"God it was amazing", I replied as I stopped and looked at her as she did too. "We were each other's firsts so we really didn't know what we were doing, but we had fun and every moment I was with her it was like…", I paused for a moment as I thought about it. "It felt…perfect".

Yukino watched me as I spoke, practically hanging on to every ridiculous word I spouted about my ex-girlfriend. But I couldn't help it, when I thought about her, it messes up my feelings and my head goes haywire for a moment. It's probably sappy and dramatic for me to admit, but I really did love Hina. I loved the time we spent together and the memories we made. I loved her in every single way I could've.

Maybe that's why it still stings a little bit when I remember her. A dull numbing pain piercing the bottom of my heart as I think about the girl who got away, no, she didn't get away. I let her go so she can live her own life and be happy in the future, maybe I was stupid in thinking I would still be part of it.

I sighed, "Sorry, went off a bit there".

"No worries", she comforted with a wave of her hand. "Sounds like she was very special to you".

"She was", I said before we resumed walking. "It's weird I know, but she was my first girlfriend and things like that don't usually happen to guys like me".

"I can understand that I guess", she agreed.

"How about you? Ever dated anyone?", I asked her.

She chuckled humorlessly, "And be at the receiving end of my mother's tongue lashing? No thank you", she grew silent for a moment, staring merely at the ground before shrugging and turning back to me. "Not like I cared, I wasn't really into the whole dating romance shtick even when I was in high school".

"Bet you got a lot of confessions though right?", I surmised.

"A few but after I rejected the last one, all of them practically stayed away", she answered.

I could see that, Yukino carried an aura of a cool beauty around her. The type guys could only admire from a distance, too terrified to approach or even do something about it. Doesn't help that she can be pretty sharp tongued, even to complete strangers and that's why many guys could find her unapproachable despite being so beautiful. I always thought that was merely an archetype in cheap high school set romantic comedies, but here was one walking alongside me.

My high school self would faint at the sight of it.

"Girls in my classes hated me for it though", she continued. "Said some nasty things behind my back but could never really do anything cause they were too scared, typical high school stuff".

"How about friends?"

"As you can guess, I never really had some", she admitted. "Some of them either hated me or just found me too unapproachable".

"So you were a loner?", I concluded.

"Basically", she replied. "Pretty sad huh?".

"Well I was a loner myself when I was in high school, so there's no shame in that", I told her, revealing that she and I were not so different. "But hey, look at us now huh?".

She laughs at that, "Yeah, I guess you're right, we all grow up eventually".

I silently nodded. Another cold breeze passes and we simultaneously shiver, hugging ourselves tighter to stave off the cold. I could feel my fingers numbing a bit but I didn't mind, when you're with company practically anything can be bearable, at the very least, it's a good distraction from everything that was around us.

The city lights were nestled against the backdrop of a cloudless night sky, the neon colors of the vending machines glowed in a low and almost monotonous hum as we walked by them. The empty and dark windows of closed office buildings, the sparse number of cars that drove down the road, the ding of the automatic convenience stores doors as another late night patron left and late night sounds of the diners that dotted the city. I never realized how peaceful life in the city can be.

"But it's strange", Yukino spoke, breaking the silence between. "I never really cared about all that growing up, romance and friends, but now…suddenly everyone is on my case about it".

"How so?", I inquired.

"Well last week, my cousin got married", she answered. "We're the same age and so my dear mother and aunts began asking when I was going to get married", that's when she spoke in an obnoxiously deep voice. "'Oh Yukino-chan, if you don't get yourself a boyfriend by the time you're 26, you'll never get married and have kids before you're 30 and you'll grow up to be a lonely spinster'".

I laughed at her obvious attempt at impersonating her family members.

"Have to say, you'd do great as a voice actress", I chided and she laughed as well.

"But you get what I mean", she said. "It's like now that I'm an adult, I still have these other older adults telling me what I should be doing with my life, but now it's 10 times worse".

"Yeah because if you don't do it like they did, you're doing something wrong", I agreed with her, remembering my parent's 'you need to be a responsible adult' lectures.

"Exactly", she confirmed. "But then I look around me and I realize no one knows a thing, a lot my co-workers don't seem to have it together, one of them is even planning move back to her hometown and one's moving abroad soon, so you can't say they have it figured out right?", she looked at me, wide eyes and exasperation. "No one knows what they're doing".

I remained silent as she went on, somehow I could feel the passion in her words, almost feeling the weight of each word she spoke. As an experienced loner, I learned to read between the lines of what people say, a means to discern whether or not what they said was genuine and not some shallow turn of phrase. But with Yukino, her words bore an honesty to them, an almost frustrated tone and confused pretext.

At this, I was beginning to truly see her, under the lights of the streetlamps as we walked by, I felt like I was truly seeing her.

"And so if no one knows what they're doing, how can they say I'm doing it wrong?", she concluded, ending her mini-speech.

I think for a moment before speaking, "It's like life's one big walking contradiction".

Yukino grows quiet for a moment, before repeating it under her breath. That's when I noticed how pink her lips looked, despite the cold weather, they seemed lively and soft to the touch. But I shake my head and nearly kick myself for thinking such a thing, Yukino doesn't seem to notice as she continues repeating it once more and nodding to herself.

"Life is just one big walking contradiction", she affirmed and chuckled, I followed as well. I began to think maybe the sound of her laugh was just infectious.

Our laughter dies down as we reach the more suburban area, tall buildings replaced by houses and small winding roads. My apartment is still a bit ways from here and I wondered how close hers was if she was willing to walk all the way here, I began thinking of a way to smoothly offer walking her home.

"So if it's all a contradiction and no one has it figured out…", Yukino mused. "Then why don't I feel okay with it?".

I merely stared at her, feeling a familiar sensation stir up inside of me, as if the echoes of her words resonated with my feelings earlier.

"I mean, I love what I'm doing but I'm not sure if I'm doing it for myself or just so I can stand up to my parents", Yukino continued. "I've worked there for 5 years and my biggest accomplishment was drawing a duck that went viral for 2 weeks and that's it…", she scratches the back of her neck. "I don't know, it kind of sounds stupid even thinking about it".

"I get what you mean", I sympathized, the talk with Hiratsuka-sensei earlier tonight repeating in my head. "You begin to wonder if there's even a point sometimes".

"Exactly, but there has to be right? A point to all of this", she said, using her arms to gesture around her.

"Maybe", I muttered, unsure of it myself.

She drops her arms and sighs, a long and deep one, as if it was resting at the bottom of her chest and that she finally let it out in one fell swoop. Maybe it was cathartic, I know people often find ranting to be refreshing, helps clear their heads once they hear themselves out.

But Yukino seems resigned, almost sullen after it, the bland acceptance to everything around and for a moment, I feel a little sad about it too.

"You know they tell you a lot of things about adulthood", she said so softly, almost whispering it to herself. "But they never tell you how lonely it can feel".

That's when Yukino stops and seemingly stares at something ahead of us. I stopped and looked as well, that's when I saw it. At the top of a small incline in front of us sat a still blooming cherry blossom tree, despite its season having passed a week ago, I was surprised to see one still blooming.

It sat above a streetlamp and I watched as its petals fell off the branches and slowly rained down on the ground below. Against the light of streetlamps, it looked almost ethereal, the light bouncing off the trunk, the shadows casted by its canopy on the street and the way it lit up the petals as they slowly rained down. I glanced briefly at Yukino as she stood beside me, entranced by it the same way I am.

For a moment, all seemed calm with the world.

That's when I looked around me, at the park and the convenience store, I looked back at the street and saw the closed bakery and familiar vending machine. A sense of familiarity hit me and I realized where I was. This was the old road I used to bike to and from my old high school, that's when an idea came to me.

"Hey", I spoke up as I turned to Yukino, who broke her gaze to look back at me. "Want to do something stupid with me?".

A brief moment of hesitancy crosses her face before it disappears and she merely raises a brow.

"What do you have in mind?"

-0-

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this"

I merely snickered under my breath as I held out my arm and urged her to jump. Yukino hesitates, being so high up on the wall, it was a good chance to turn back and jump back out into the street and never look back. But I assure her it was fine and so she takes a deep breath, psyches herself up and jumps. I catch her in my arms before she lands on the ground, I note how light she is and how sweet her scent was as it reached my nose. But I shake my head and put her down, she dusts herself off and puts on her shoes back on.

I look behind me and feel a nostalgic smile on my face.

"It looks as beautiful as the day I left", I declared as she finished putting on her shoes.

"I have to say, it's not every day I trespass on a high school I didn't even attend", she said walking up beside me.

"I told we were doing something stupid", I reminded her as we began walking.

"I never assumed it was this stupid", she groaned as she followed behind me.

We were currently behind the East Wing of my old school just beside the track and field and adjacent gym, it was the only place where there was a lamp post installed close enough to the wall that once you scaled it, it can be used as a means to hoist yourself up and over the wall. It was a popular spot for students who were running late and it spread pretty fast around school, somehow the teachers and staff never took notice of it and it was never dealt with.

I never personally used it, despite my loner reputation, I was a punctual student and prided myself on my spotless tardiness record. Now I used it as a means to return to my old stomping ground several years later. I found it funny how things find a way to come to you one way or another. Beside me, Yukino gazed around us, the giant empty main building and east wing towered over us as we walked closer.

"What're you doing?", Yukino questioned as I stopped and began running my hands along the windows when we arrived at the back of the main building that faced the track and field.

I held my finger up, a means to tell her to keep quiet or lest someone hears us from afar and reports us to the police. My fingers grazed over a familiar crack on the window handle and I smiled as I slid the window open.

"Wha- ", I could feel Yukino's shocked stare at my back as I climbed through the window, sat on the windowsill and I took off my shoes and stepped inside, holding my shoes in my hand.

"Come on", I beckoned as I stretched my hand to her.

"This is beyond stupid", she declared.

I smirked, "I think we're way past that at this point".

Yukino looked around before nervously biting her lip, I began thanking the heavens for giving her such a cute habit. She took another breath, looking like she was psyching herself up before taking my hand and I pulled her inside, she kicked off her shoes as sits on the windowsill and stepped back down with her bare feet. We were now in the faculty room of the school, empty teacher's desk riddles with books, pens, folders and various other knick knacks lined around us.

"7 years since I left and they still never bothered to fix that window's lock", I said, nodding back at the open window.

"Were you some sort of delinquent during high school?", Yukino questioned.

"Nope", was my answer as we crossed the room. "But being a loner gives you access to a lot of dirty secrets people talk about when they think no one else is listening".

She then gave me a questioning look, "I take that back, maybe you were just a creepy eavesdropper".

I merely ignored that, not wanting to say that people just tend to talk very loudly when I'm just sitting in my "loner spots" and I tend to pick up on some interesting gossip and hearsay. I opened the door and peeked out, the empty darkened halls stretched out around me and I stepped out once I was sure there was not a soul around.

"Let's head to the rooftop", I told her as we began walking down the hall towards the stairs.

It was quiet, strangely quiet, like we had managed to step into a place that was completely cut off from the rest of the world. The only noises that could be heard were the sounds of our footsteps and loud ticking of the wall clocks as we walked by them. I took out my phone to use a flashlight and I checked the time, it was currently 2:46 and I'm trespassing into my old high school with someone I randomly met in a bar hours before. If this experience could be written out, it would be like those young adult romantic comedy books starring depressed moody teenagers and manic pixie dream girls..

"I have to be honest…", Yukino spoke up, in a more hushed tone that practically echoed around us. "I never thought I would spend my evening breaking into a high school".

I appreciated her humor with a small chuckle, "Well tonight was a bit of a doozy if you think about it".

"Seems so", she agreed.

"Besides, never sneaked into your high school in the middle of the night?", I chided her as we began walking up to the 2nd floor.

"You wouldn't even get over the wall without setting off alarms in my high school", she replied.

"Sheesh sounds rough", I remarked.

"Well that Sobu for you"

I stopped at the top of the stairs and looked back at her, she stopped as well and looked up at me.

"You went to Sobu?", I inquired.

"I did", she answered.

"Oh man", I said as we continued our walk up the flight of stairs. "I always wanted to go there, but I missed the entrance exam and failed the supplementary one".

"What happened with the first exam?", she asked.

"Craziest thing, I got hit by a car on the way to the exam", I replied. "Broke my arm and leg and took a whole month to recover and by then, it was too late and I had to take the supplementary exam and failed and so I chose here".

"Must've been awful", she commented and I just shrugged.

"I'm over it", I replied. "Honestly, I just wanted to go there cause I didn't want to see anyone from middle school", I turned to her and gave a small smile. "Sounded pretty petty huh?".

"Sounds like a normal teenager if you ask me", she said and I feel my chest loosen a little.

"Seems so"

We were walking down the hall of the 4th floor, the stairway to the rooftop was on the other side of this floor. The floor consisted of 4 empty classrooms, it was the floor where some of the cultural clubs were held. I do remember wasting some of my days in the video game research club with some of the other loners in school, not like we were friends or anything. At the end of the day, we were still kids who kept to themselves hanging out in a classroom playing video games.

"Were you ever in any clubs?", I asked her as we passed by a colorfully decorated tea clubroom.

"I started one but it never took off", she replied. "It was supposed to be some service club in order to help students with their problems".

"Sounds pretty good", I admired.

"On paper, but it only had me and one other member and it had to be dissolved soon after", she went on.

"That sucks", I empathize.

"Yeah but hey, I'm over it", she repeated my words from earlier.

That's when we reached the rooftop, I slid the window open, both as a means of a quick escape in case we were spotted from the road and as a means not to break the comforting silence of our surroundings by heaving open the heavy metal door. I helped Yukino climb through and we were met with a cold bellowing wind as we stood on the rooftop that allowed us a view of houses that stretched out and the tall buildings in the distance.

"My legs…", she groaned as she leaned against the wall and slid down to the ground. "I need to rest".

"I'll join you", I said as I sat beside her.

I didn't realize how tired my legs were until I sat down on the cold floor. Maybe the night was finally winding down for me, having started on a drinking binge with Hiratsuka-sensei and was now sitting on the rooftop of my old high school. I too did not expect my night to turn out the way it did, but I guess life finds a way of surprising you.

I looked up and found myself at awe at the sight before me. The cloudless night sky gave way to a tapestry of stars above, even draped against the city, it looked like an endless sea of lights cobbled together from where we sat. The wind bellowed and the howling travelled around us, the cold lingering sensation hung in the air and we found ourselves huddling a little closer to one another.

"Why'd you quit your job?", Yukino suddenly asked and I broke my gaze to turn to her.

"Hm?", I urged her to repeat it.

"Your job, you mentioned that you quit earlier", she said. "Why'd you quit?".

I stopped for a moment. I suddenly realized that in the past few months, no one ever asked me that. No one ever asked why I quit, mostly complaining that I did quit a well-paying job, reassurance that I'll eventually find a new one and the lectures that I would be ruining my life now that I was out of a job. Honestly, it took me a moment to give a proper answer and stared out at the view before me.

"It wasn't just one thing", I began. "I've always felt…unsure of what I was doing, even when I just started working there but I ignored it because, I was a working adult now, I had stuff to pay and for the first time in my life, I felt like I could have some real control in my life". The heaviness inside of me stirred, it was almost choking as I reminisced but Yukino looked at me, with all the genuine honesty in the world and so I continued.

"But I remember when it started, it was probably a year and a half before I actually quit. I was working overtime, the third one I was pulling that month, and I was tired and I decided to get some coffee from the break room. But when I was heading back to finish work, I don't know how but I just found myself staring out the window and into the office building opposite of us. I think it was a bank or something, can't really remember…".

I found myself slouching more and more deeper, the heaviness dropping further as I explained that night.

"There were a few lights on, other late night workers and then I saw this guy, just a couple of floors below. His lights were on so I could look into his office, and he was talking to someone on the phone and he looked really distressed and I noticed he was fiddling with his wedding ring and staring at a picture at his desk, probably his family so it must be a family thing. And I was thinking 'what was he doing here instead of being with his family?' 'why can't he just leave if he's so distressed?' and I don't know, it kind of made me wonder what would happen if I was in his situation?".

Yukino looked at me with such earnest eyes that I could instantly crumble under her gaze, something about just them looking at me with such understanding and empathy. I swallowed thickly as I felt my chest stir.

"It was like I was looking into a future that I could possibly have and…it terrified me", I concluded as I looked down on the ground. "A year or so later, I quit and decided to try to be a writer and it hasn't exactly panned out the way I wanted it".

Yukino was silent for a moment, she looked out at the view as well. Both of us were drinking in the sight of a sleeping city, because it was so rare that we could look at it. It took her a few minutes before she spoke again.

"Why didn't you just stay at your job and take up a writing career?", she wondered.

"I don't know, its stupid, but I felt like didn't I never would've taken pursued writing seriously", I explained to her. "Kind of like, walk on water or drown…I know its stupid, I'm still beating myself up over whether or not I made the wrong choice".

"You think you did?", Yukino posed the question and I could only shrug, unsure of it myself even now.

"I don't know", I earnestly answered, even gesturing with my hands. "I just…I just want to feel like I'm making the right choice in life you know, I mean, how do I know I'm not dooming myself by choosing this path over the other one?".

"Isn't that why you left in the first place?", she questioned.

"I know but…", I struggled with my words, the beer and fatigue of the night was slowly weighing down on me. "How can I be sure that the thing I want is the thing I'm supposed to be doing? How can I be sure I won't be miserable because of it?...", the heaviness turned to weary and then the truth of what I've been all this time comes out.

I'm just scared, scared because I'm unsure what I was doing or where I was going. I made a life changing decision on impulse because the idea of staying there any longer terrified me and I used it as a chance to pursue a passion I wasn't even sure was going to work out. In the end, maybe I just ended up stuck running in one spot, unable to move on to anything else because I was always second guessing. Maybe that's why I wandered back here, sitting on the rooftop of my old high school I left 7 years ago. In hopes that maybe, the feeling of simplicity and naivety towards life would return to me, even for a brief moment.

But nothing, all I feel is a lot more miserable than I did earlier tonight.

I turned to Yukino, she sat there, hugging her knees to her chest and staring at me. I've said it before, I might say a million times more, but she was beautiful. Wrapped around her coat and under the light of the moonless starry sky, she was almost overwhelming in her beauty. But she merely looks at me, eyes searching for anything on me but I give away nothing I haven't already shown and so I sighed and leaned back against the wall.

"It used to be all so simple", I said. "You wake up, eat, go to school, hang out with friends. study and after that go home, finish school and go to university and after you graduate university, you get a job and everything falls into place…I thought it was going to be all so simple".

Yukino remained silent, probably trying to let what I said sink in but then she spoke.

"You are free and that's why you are lost", she said and I looked at her once more and she gave me a small smile of reassurance. "Frank Kafka said that: you are free and that's why you are lost".

I relished those words as I let it sit in my mind, maybe that's why I feel so lost, I'm free. Free to live in this world, no more responsibilities than the ones I choose for myself and priority rather than the ones I pursue for myself. I'm free, yet I wonder if that's a good thing.

"Maybe you're not supposed to have it all figured out", Yukino contemplated, an unsure tone carrying her words. "Maybe you just have to choose something for yourself and hope it all works out".

"Like a leap of faith", I concluded her thoughts.

She nodded in agreement, "Yeah, maybe life's just one giant leap of faith".

Those words somehow made the heaviness inside of me slowly dissipate, some of it still lingered but at the very least it lightened a bit. I find myself letting out a deep sigh, as if letting out every single worry from the pit of my stomach and into the air where it can be carried out and taken far away.

For now, at least for the moment, I feel at peace with everything.

"Thanks Yukino", I tell her and she rests her head on my shoulder.

"Thanks as well, Hachiman", she replied. "I never thought I'd have this much fun tonight, all I thought was going for drinks with some co-workers and that was it".

"Same", I said. "Funny how life turns out"

"That it does", she beamed.

"Is someone there?"

We immediately scrambled to crawl and duck into the corner as we heard the metal door heave open and a flashlight shine through. It began searching around the empty rooftop, I did my best to hold my breath as Yukino covered her mouth to hold back any noise she could make. After a few seconds, the flashlight disappeared and the metal door slid closed, we could hear a policeman talking on the radio.

"The roof's clear, I'll check more of the floors in the east wing"

I listened as the sounds of footsteps descending the stairs disappeared. We stood frozen there for a solid minute, I could feel my heart beating out of my chest from the sudden surprise. I moved to peek and see if the policeman was gone and let out a sigh of relief. My chest was heavy and I could feel my hands shake for a bit.

"I thought you said we weren't getting caught", Yukino scolded.

"I guess someone saw us sneak in and called the police", I rationalized as I peeked into the window and saw an empty stairwell. "Come on, let's go before they catch us".

Yukino let out a few panicked breaths as she calmed herself down before nodding her head. We slowly made our way back down the ground floor, slow and cautious in case the policeman saw us. But I saw his flashlight walking around the east wing so it was clear unless he had a partner with him, which it looked like he did.

We managed to reach the front foyer where the shoe lockers were and saw the front doors were open and we ran out of them, heading towards the front gate. Can't really escape through the way we came in now, seeing as now there was a police officer roaming around. We reached the front gate, which was also open and a police car was parked just down the road and so I stopped, grabbed her hand and turned the other way and began running.

We ran and ran until our chest grew heavy and our legs were burning.

I wondered if it was the adrenaline of running away mixed with the thrill of almost getting caught. Maybe the fatigue of the night finally caught up to us, but somehow we started laughing. At first it was small snickers under our breaths that slowly turned to full blown laughing. I didn't know who started it, maybe it was me, maybe it was her but we just laughed till our eyes watered and stomachs hurt.

And there we were, running down the street at 3 in the morning barefoot, hands clasped and still holding onto our shoes, laughing without a care in the world, and for a moment…

We were free.

-0-

I stifled a yawn as I followed her up the stairs. The long night finally caught up to us, my legs were wobbly and my body ached, my head was heavy, I think it was just the beer and drinking from earlier tonight making a well deserved come back. But none of it matters as I followed Yukino to her apartment, still on the fence of her offer of staying there the rest of the night but she was insistent. Besides, my apartment is still a bus ride away from this area and I was already exhausted after everything I've just been through tonight.

We reached her floor and began walking to her door, she seemed to be tired as well. It was already a quarter to past 3 and we had been awake practically the entire night, I rarely pulled all-nighters anymore and so my body was kind of ready for, but for now all I desired now was a warm bed.

"Are you sure about this?", I asked her as we reached her door and she put in her key. "I mean, you are inviting a literal stranger into your house".

"I think we're past the point of strangers, Hachiman", she replied as she opened the door. "Come inside, you're going to let the cold in".

I did wonder about that as I followed her inside. We were past the line of strangers, but I would not consider us friends, at the very least we were a bit past acquaintances at least. So maybe half-way friends? Yeah, half-way friends, I liked the sound of that.

Yukino turned on the lights and I got a look of her apartment.

"Welcome to my humble abode", she introduced as she lazily kicked off her shoes and hung her bag and coat to the side. "I know, it isn't much".

Honestly, her apartment was a lot simpler than I had expected. Looking at Yukino, one would assume she lived a pretty high end life, with fancy clothes and expensive condominiums, but nope, it was as simple as they get. I take off my shoes and lay my bag down beside the shoe rack and place my jacket beside it as I walk inside.

"Honestly, it's simple and homey", I commented as I looked around. "Pretty comfy".

It resembled mine a bit, a single room with a bed on the side, a TV facing opposite of it, a coffee table in the middle of them. A small kitchen and the bathroom in the hall, an air conditioner unit installed above the bed and a veranda. A relatively small bookshelf that was filled with cat themed knick knacks, now that I mentioned, there were a lot of cat related things around me.

Cat shaped carpet, a cat sticker on the TV, cat oven mitts and apron, cat bed sheets and even a small pillow in the shape of a cat on the base of the bed. Yukino must really love cats. I say nothing of it, having had one myself I can tell cats are the most loyal and lovable creatures, if they're not busy lording over you. Yukino hands me a glass of water as she walks to her closet, she opens it and turns to me, gives me a knowing look and I immediately turn around and begin drinking the water.

"Nice place you got here", I commented before drinking all of it in one gulp.

"Thanks, it was the first place I got when I started working and I've just been here ever since", she replied as I heard her clothes hit the ground.

"I'm guessing your parents weren't too happy with you living in such a small apartment", I chided, remembering our conversation about them from earlier.

She let out a light chuckle, "Yeah, I had to fight tooth and nail just so I can continue to stay here but I'm an adult now and I don't rely on them for rent".

"That's the best part I guess", I said. "They can't tell you off".

"Doesn't stop them from trying"

She walks by and heads towards the bathroom. She's wearing pajama shorts and a gray T shirt, her hair was mused up and she looked tired, but to me, she pulled off perfection so easily. She gives me another look as she closes the door and I take it as a chance to get changed. I slipped out of my pants and thanked myself for wearing boxers and went to my bag to pull out an extra shirt. I did expect to throw up on my current one so I brought an extra just in case. I slipped it on, stuffing the old one back in.

Suddenly, I felt a lot lighter and a lot more tired now. I let out a yawn, a deep one in fact.

I hear the toilet flush as Yukino walks out, drying her face with a towel. I wanted to say something about it, but I let out a yawn and realized I was just really sleepy. I looked around, trying to see if she had an extra futon somewhere which I could use.

"What're you looking for?", she asked as I walked into her living room/bedroom.

"Your extra futon", I answered.

"I don't have one", was her reply and I gave her a questioning look.

"Then where am I supposed to sleep?", I questioned.

She pats her bed and the realization hits me and I feel myself get a little flustered over it. It's not like I haven't slept next to a girl before, but I felt nervous I was crossing the line with her somehow. But tonight, I felt like we crossed a lot of lines tonight.

"Are you sure about this?", I asked as I slowly approached her.

"Yeah I am", she replied.

Slowly I sat on her bed, before lying down, my back against the wall and laying down on her pillow. She gives me a tired smile turning off the lights, plunging us into the darkness of her apartment, a small sliver of light from the outside peeking from the curtains of her veranda. I feel her lie down beside me, in the darkness, I see her deep blue eyes reflecting the light of the outside and I know we're facing each other.

Something about this moment just felt…right. Like I didn't want to be any other place but here and with her, tonight with so many possibilities and chances. That out of 7 billion people that I would somehow be magically drawn to her, maybe I found her? Maybe she found me? Who knows. But maybe right now isn't the time to be contemplating the philosophy of it all.

"Hey Hachiman", she said as moves closer.

"Hm?"

"Hold me"

She snuggles up to my chest and I wrap my arms around her. Her skin is a little cold to the touch but I get used to it, I breathe in her sweet scent that I've had around me the entire night. She buries her face in my chest as she wraps an arm over my waist, entangles her legs with mine and I pull her close. She lets out a yawn and slowly, I notice her eyes begin to flutter close.

"Hachiman…", she tiredly began. "Do you think it's worth it? All of this?".

"Strangely I do", I answered. "I do think it's worth it".

"Why?"

I pondered over her question, my mind and body were tired and I wondered if I should tell her some boring drivel about life and how all of it was worth it, how it'll all work out and how she'll be fine. But I remembered Hiratsuka-sensei's words from earlier tonight and I knew my answer immediately.

"Because the world's a beautiful place, you just have to appreciate the details"

I might've said the right thing as I felt her instantly get warmed and snuggled in closer. Soon after, she's asleep in my arms and I feel content filling my chest. I wondered about tonight, how in a crazy twist of fate I managed to meet someone like her, how she helped find a little bit of peace with everything that's happened to me and I prayed I won't lose this chance and go forward with a little more confidence.

"Goodnight…Yukino"

I didn't know how long I stayed awake before sleep took me as well, but I remember just lying there for a long time. Just holding her in my arms, feeling her breathe on my skin and her soft scent lingering in my nose. But there I laid motionless, still as I felt my eyes grow heavy. I held her in my arms, in fear that if I let go, I might lose her somewhat. But I hold her once more and I let out a contented sigh, my eyes slowly flutter shut and I drift into a dreamless sleep.

End.

Note: I've always wanted to write a post-adolescent story, since I find it a good in-between of a maturity that comes with growing up and at the same time facing the reality of adulthood and pursuing one's passion and the anxiety that can come with it. Just something fascinating about 20-somethings trying to find their way around this world. I hope I managed to capture it and you guys enjoyed it.

Going back to what I said earlier, this will be the last fanfic I will post for this fandom. I posted my first story for OreGairu in 2019 and I've posted a few ones here and there and the reception for them has been amazing and it's really helped me gain confidence as a writer. That being said, the idea well has long since dried up and I have a desire to move on to other fandoms and maybe start on working some original work soon. The community has been really supportive and I thank all of you for giving me chance to post my work here. Thank you everyone, I will probably write a short epilogue chapter for this story, but who knows.

Once again, thank you for reading my story and leaving such kind reviews and the support all these years. I'll see you around everyone.

Later.