As I lay there on the hill, clutching the earth, the only thing I could think about was chess.

Let me tell you why I like chess.

Each piece moves in its specific way, adhering to its own rules, roles, and realities. Knights don't know what it's like to be a bishop, nor does a rook know what it's like to be a king. A pawn can, however, become a queen in the right circumstance.

What a metaphor for life.

Here I am, fully actualized to be the queen that I was always meant to be because I went to the other side of the board. It's interesting that we may never know if either side is good or evil. Maybe the sides are two ends of a spectrum. Good and evil. Ignorance and intelligence. Love and hate. All relative to the side that you defend.

The more I think about chess, I realize the problem I have with it: all the pawns, the bishops, the knights, the rooks, and ugh the king… I'm surrounded by men. Men who think that they all serve kings who uphold an ideal of truth, nobility, and justice. As if. No one really knows what they're doing, that much is true, but men… they do things for the sake of women when none of us asked them to pay us any mind. I am a queen. I am able to move fluidly, attacking whoever I need, whenever I feel that it is best for the incompetence around me. Until the men get their ducks in a row, they cannot stop a queen like me.

Another problem is that there are multiple kings on this board. My dad, Kira, Toby – well, Exsell, apparently – they all have the same goal, but they didn't know how to work together to take me down. It's this weird hatred-cooperation triangle that they have, the three of them. It seems like my dad and Kira obviously hate each other because of Kira's past life. Toby– Exsell– whatever his name is – is working with both for I don't know, greed, attention, daddy issues?

Kira.

Why reappear?

Why now?

Obviously, me because of my dad.

Why…?

You know what? I honestly can't be bothered. If everyone just told me their actual names, I could start my reign without any… dissonance.

I could trade half my life for the eyes, but do I really want to? I've been so proactive. Not to mention if I do kill my father, Kira would probably kill me.

Mother tried to warn me for a reason. She died because she was fulfilling a man's greatest desire to disseminate their disgusting filth upon the world (Not quite self-deprecating, but adjacent). In any scenario, in any of their plans, I am the one to fall first.

Let me tell you now: I am writing this story. I decide who falls. I decide who triumphs. Any who dare to get in my way will be toys until my hunger becomes unbearable.

I sat up. Finding metaphors are fine, but they're not actionable.

Be objective. Be callous. Be skeptical.

Alright, then. I better draw a bath.

[Kira's PoV]

If I had known that Near's daughter would be as boring as she was, I don't think I would have given her a notebook. Good god. She just lays places. She doesn't do anything. I mean, she uses the notebook, but it only takes her a couple of minutes to do it. Where's the pizazz? The potato chips? The drama? When I was alive, this experience was the most alive I felt. She's literally in the tub again. What could she possibly be thinking about in the tub? Is this what Ryuk meant when he said that shinigami life was boring? No, Light, you have to be patient. You've already waited 20 years; you could definitely wait a couple more minutes for a girl to say–

"Entrer," her voice called from within the bathroom. Finally. I shifted through the door to see her lying in the tub yet again.

"Did you need something?" She asked, inspecting her nails.

"You called me, remember?" It was always awkward when we were in the bathroom together. Bathroom together that makes me feel like a creep.

"I could feel you staring through the door," she said, "It made it feel a bit creepy." Direct eye contact. Something's changed. I'm not sure what it is, but there's something about Carmen.

"How did your little date go with your boy?"

"Why do you want to know?" she smiled, "Are you jealous?"

"Why would I be jealous?"

"Why won't you answer my question?" she never broke her eye contact with me. I don't know if it's the steam, but the air in the room felt heavier. "Turn around," she commanded and for whatever reason, I felt inclined to follow. I could hear that she got out of the tub and was putting on her robe. "You don't need to know how my 'little date' went. That's not important to you. What's important to you is access to information. Turn around."

I turned to face her, speechless at the tone of her voice. When had she gotten so much colder?

"Kira, I'll tell you when you need to know something. My life, although it was similar to yours when you were alive, is not actually yours. You're here to watch, not participate," she put a warm pruney hand on the side of my face, "Don't you fret, pet. The fun has just begun." She left the bathroom, releasing the thick air out with her.

What.

The.

Fuck.