Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable.
Warning: Discussion of addiction and alcoholism.
Dudley clutched the takeaway cup filled with lukewarm, bitter coffee tightly in his hands, mindlessly running his finger over the ribbed cardboard material. His fingers twitched and his leg began to shake while his knee continued to bounce from the stress and panic that began to overwhelm his body.
Just a little sip.
The whispers flitted through his mind, swarming his thoughts like an angry hive of bees. He shook his head, as if he could shake the thoughts loose from his mind. He gripped the cup in his hands tighter, trying to ground himself back in the present, trying to distract himself from the whispered temptations seeping through his mind.
It wouldn't hurt, it's just a sip.
Dudley knew it would hurt though, it would hurt his family and friends to watch him fall back down that path. He'd hurt them before, with his words and his actions. They'd helped him pick up the pieces of his life too many times to count, he couldn't throw it back in their faces, but the temptation was so strong. He could feel the need rushing through his body, it was like he didn't know how to live without alcohol.
It could be our little secret.
He had kept secrets before too. He'd become a master at hiding the scent of whiskey on his breath, he could function like any other human, even after washing down four pints of beer. He knew that a little splash of liquid courage in coffee wouldn't harm anybody else, but he wasn't anybody else. He was Dudley Dursley, and he was an alcoholic. That's what he had stood up in front of the AA meeting and finally admitted out loud, for the first time in his damn life.
For the first time in his life he had admitted his wrongs and not allowed anyone else to make excuses for him. It had been years since he'd had the slightest semblance of control over his life. At first it had been his parents, warping his mind and turning him into a person that Dudley never wanted to see again. Then it had been the alcohol, he'd drowned himself and his guilt every single day. It was finally time for him to take back control of his own life.
A little splash in your coffee, nobody would know.
But he would know. He would know that once again he couldn't control himself. Glancing down at the cardboard cup gripped in his trembling hands, he threw it in the closest bin without a moment's thought. The first day of sobriety was the hardest some said, making the decision to leave your vices and addiction behind was terrifying. At some point in the future he would feel free, but for now, Dudley knew it was an uphill battle. Temptation would be there with him everyday of his life, he just had to keep on fighting to be a better person.
One day of sobriety down, a lifetime more to go, and Dudley couldn't be happier with that.
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