A/N : I almost didn't post today, 'cause I wrote like half the chapter and then my Internet went poof before I could save it. God! I had to rewrite that lol

Anyways, last chapter! The last couple weeks have been so ugh! Classes started and then I got my first shot and then I fell ill and slept the weekend away Hmph. More classes. And then Boom! Wrote it this weekend.

Anyways, thank you to all those who stuck with me throughout this ride. Y'all have the patience of the greatest saints ever lmao. I took a looooooong time writing this, didn't I? SO sorry.

Still not sure why I decided to extend what was initially meant to be a one-shot. But I both loved and hated writing it, so thank YOU! I dunno if the last chapter is up to par, but is it ever?

Lots of chick flicks, kinda fluff, kinda angst for this one. Both their issues are ... well, you'll see lol

Okay, I'm gonna stop talking. I just can't help it 'cause now I'm sad this is the ennndddd! But don't worry, I got lots of other stories coming up ;) One-shots ONLY lmao BIG ones, but still. Multi chaps make me so lazy!

Okay okay, shutting up now. Tell me what y'all think!

And thank you again. Love y'all!

The sun was setting over Bobby's junkyard, the silence of the twilight broken only by the rustle of plastic as Dean dug into the M&M pack, popping a couple in, crunching loud enough to wake up the dead.

"I thought Bobby was out here taking out a dent. Turns out it was just you chewing", Sam's voice further broke the peace and Dean turned just enough to flip him the bird, continuing to chew obnoxiously.

"What are you doing up? Thought I told you to stay in bed", Dean raised an eyebrow in his little brother's direction, hitching up a hip to lean more comfortably on the Impala.

"I've been doing nothing but sleep since arriving yesterday evening, Dean. I'm tired of it. Do you know that there's a stain shaped like Texas directly above my bed?", Sam walked over to the car and struck a pose similar to his brother's before snatching up the bag of M&M's, ignoring the scowl he was thrown, with the grace that came naturally with being a little brother.

"No, I haven't, Sam. You know why? 'Cause I actually sleep when I go to bed", Dean grumbled, snatching the last two candies that his brother was just about to eat.

He was just about to throw them into his mouth when Sam turned to him, pout and large eyes turned full force.

Dean groaned before slapping one of the blue coated peanuts onto his brother's palm.

Sam shouldn't still be allowed to get away with his stupid puppy face, Dean thought to himself, not really with heat. Especially when Sam grinned toothily, chocolate coating his whites, viciously reminding Dean of the same brother when he was around four years old. Strangely with the same droopy expression which had robbed him of many a treat.

Or, well, not so strange.

"Did you take the pills I left by your bed?"

"Yes, Dean."

"What about the -"

"OJ? Drank as much as I could without throwing it all up."

"And the -"

"The 'veggie sandwich stuffed enough to make a rabbit gag', as the eloquently written note beside it said? All gone."

Dean nodded to himself, satisfied at Sam's answers.

The last of the sun's rays were fading and the stars were starting to pop out. The silence was interrupted by Sam breaking out into coughs and Dean turned to him, concern blooming out unreserved.

"I'm ...'kay", Sam managed, palm raised to stop Dean. He coughed one last time, cleared his throat and nodded at Dean.

Dean watched him warily as if waiting for him to cry 'just kidding' and start choking again.

Sam rolled his eyes, letting Dean have this and hid a smile as Dean turned away, apparently three minutes of normal breathing enough to sate the big brother worry.

Silence fell again.

Sam swallowed and opened his mouth. Closed his mouth. His hand twitched, running through his hair before coming to rest on the car. He cleared his throat.

"Sammy, spit it out."

Sam jumped guiltily and glanced at Dean, allowing a reluctant smile at Dean's amused grin. Not that he was surprised at Dean still being able to read him perfectly.

He nodded, clearing his throat, more with anxiety than the actual need.

"You, uh, do you remember anything? From - from before?", Sam swallowed again, deliberately not meeting Dean's eyes as his own stung with unshed tears.

He didn't know what to expect. He half feared that Dean would remember. Then again, if Dean didn't remember, what did that mean? Were the Winchesters really that blessed that he would escape all of Hell's memories or was it just a matter of time before the floodgates opened?

"No. Nothing. Probably a good thing, right?", Dean answered, chuckling dryly.

Sam's head snapped up and he met Dean's eyes, searching for the truth in them.

When he looked back at the sky, his heart was lighter.

The stars were starting to multiply and the brothers fell into a comfortable silence. The crickets sang and a slight wind rustled the leaves.

It resembled the beginning sequence of a horror movie and Sam would have been wary if not for the fact that they were at Bobby's. The closest thing to a home they had.

"You remember the first time we came here? Dad wanted to drop us off somewhere 'cause he had a lead in Montana or something", Dean started, glancing at Sam.

Sam frowned thoughtfully. "I think so. Why?"

"You couldn't have been more than 5. You saw all the cars and hid behind me. Thought they all belonged to someone and we were gonna meet about a 100 people", Dean chuckled as Sam pinked.

"De'!", came the whisper.

Dean looked down at the wide eyes staring up at him and smiled reassuringly.

"It'll be okay, Sammy. It's just dad's friend."

"There's lots and lots of people inside! 'cause there's lots and lots of cars! I don' wanna see lots and lots of gwonups!"

Dean twisted slightly, disentangling Sam's tight grip from his shirt and taking the small hand into his own. He crouched down in front of his little brother.

"I was young, Dean. You could have just told me it was a junkyard and that they were old cars", Sam scowled at his grinning brother.

"Oh man, I did tell you! I spent the whole trip telling that to you but you still lost your shit when we arrived."

"Hey, Sam. Sammy, look at me", Dean gently turned Sam's face, which was turning every which way in search of 'gwonups', with a finger on his chin. They were still to take further than two steps from the Impala, John already having gone inside with their bags to explain things to Bobby.

"I'm gonna be right there with you every step, okay? You know that nothing bad's gonna happen to you as long as I'm around, right?" Dean held Sam's eyes.

Sam nodded fervently.

"Good. And if someone tries to hurt you ..."

"You're gonna kick their butts!"

"Damn straight."

"Oh man, Bobby had a damn time trying to explain to you why there weren't any 'gwonups' in the house", Dean chuckled.

He grinned as Sam stared stonily in front of him but didn't succeed in hiding the smile that was tugging at his lips.

Dean's grin faded as he went back to watching the stars. He took in a breath, letting it out in a sigh.

"I'm sorry, Sammy."

Sam's eyes screamed confusion as he turned to look at him.

"For what?", he asked.

And the question was just so Sam, with the curiosity and the lingering trepidation and the belief that Dean had nothing to apologize for, that he almost smiled.

"For leaving you alone. When I - when I saw you, saw what I had done to you, I didn't -", Dean shook his head, trailing off. He avoided looking at Sam, almost scared of what he'd find there.

But Sam was not looking at him. He was swallowing against the growing lump in his throat. His chest actually hurt from the echo of the pain that he still felt at those four months. The worry and the fear in the year before that.

Sam cleared his throat, opening his mouth to respond.

Only to be interrupted as Dean pushed off the car and turned to him, holding his gaze as he stood in front of him. The dull light from Bobby's house reflected off of Dean's suspiciously wet eyes.

"But I would do it again, Sam. Because I can't do it alone. I just -", Dean shook his head again, eyes flickering away from Sam's before coming back to meet Sam's incredulous stare.

"Again?", Sam let out a humourless laugh, pushing away from his own half lean and going upto Dean's face. "You just said you saw how I was, Dean! What makes you think that I could go it alone again if I was half dead the first time?!"

Dean flinched but answered anyways.

"I know, Sam. I'm not saying I'm going to do it again. Just - that I am sorry but I'm never regretting it. I can't give you the kind of apology you expect me to."

Sam scoffed, pushing down the instinct to clock his brother one. He got it, he really did. He would die for Dean, go to hell for Dean in a heartbeat.

Except that he had never had the chance to. It was always Dean sacrificing and the last four months were still fresh in his memory.

And Sam just couldn't.

The last straw was Dean's next sentence.

"Besides, you're stronger than me, Sammy. You always have been."

And Sam lost it.

"NO, I'M NOT, DEAN! I'M NOT FUCKING STRONGER! YOU KNOW WHY? 'CAUSE I CAME BACK EVERYDAY TO WHERE I BURIED YOU AND I LEFT A TRAIL OF BLOOD BECAUSE I HOPED THAT SOME DEMON WOULD GUT ME AND THAT I WOULD ROT NEAR YOU!"

Sam got a rush of vindictive pleasure from Dean's aborted flinch and look of horror that furthered with every word that Sam spoke. His next words were softer, but maybe even more painful than the last.

"The only reason I didn't write my name on a bullet is because I heard you screaming every damn day as the hellhounds ripped you apart and I couldn't. I couldn't just off myself, just like that, while my brother had suffered. Still suffered everyday. Because of me."

There were tears flowing down unrestrained Dean's cheeks.

Sam shook his head, eyes downcast.

"I'm not strong. I am a failure, Dean. I failed to save you, to kill Lilith, and I almost failed to just survive."

Sam took in a shaky breath, still avoiding Dean's eyes. He knew what he would find there. Pity. Disappointment. He couldn't face them. Not when they were shining in Dean's eyes.

"I lied."

The response was so unexpected, that Sam's head came up of its own volition. He flinched as, when he looked up, Dean took the opportunity to catch his eye and held it.

"When I said I didn't remember Hell. I do. I remember it."

Sam flinched again, mouth opening automatically to - say what? What do you say to your brother who remembers literal Hell? Who spent God knows how long in the place feared by everyone. Trapped with demons and fire and pain.

Dean must have seen the look on his face, because he hastened to reassure him.

"Not everything, don't worry. Just the ... feeling. I can remember how I felt. The fear, the darkness." Dean paused, choosing his words carefully. "The hope", he said, holding Sam's gaze to gauge his reaction.

There was only confusion in his little brother's eyes. Typical.

For all his smartness, Sam could be real dumb sometimes.

"You, Sammy. I remembered you. Remembered calling out for you and you ... came, in a sense. Because I remembered hunting with you, fighting with you, teasing you, your stupid chick flick moments, your dumb hair, your ridiculous puppy dog eyes. You."

Sam's eyes widened and his mouth opened and closed like a guppy. He looked ridiculous that Dean couldn't help chuckling slightly.

Dumb indeed.

He stepped closer, looking into Sam's eyes that held everything from guilt to grief to hope to love. This was the Sam he had gone to Hell for. That he would go to Hell for, again and again and again.

"You are not a failure, Sammy. You kept me human. In hell, before Hell. All the fucking time."

Dean's voice was soft and sincere and his eyes held so much love that Sam's breath hitched.

For a detester of chick flicks, his brother could really pull one off fantastically. If he thought that the hazy hugs and touches the past week had fulfilled Dean's quota of tactile affection, he was proved wrong as Dean pulled him into a hug.

That was all it took for Sam's tight hold on his emotions to break. He melted into his big brother's arms. The only one who had ever truly been able to provide the comfort that Sam needed.

He wrapped his arms around his brother and held on.

"I missed you", Sam whispered. He hadn't even realized that he had been crying until Dean's shirt under his chin gradually grew wetter.

Dean didn't reply. Just tightened his grip.

Sam let go. Sobs tore their way out of his throat and he shook. Held on his feet only by Dean's strength.

Like always.

Dean let a few tears break free, unable to stay stoic in the face of his little brother's pain. He had never been able to.

They stood that way for a few long minutes until Sam's sobs tapered off into sniffs and he hesitantly pulled away. Dean tightened his grip in reassurance before letting go.

Sam was looking anywhere but at Dean as he wiped at his face, sniffing occasionally. Dean took the opportunity to dry his own face, watching in amusement as Sam remained red in the face.

Sam jumped as Dean's hand came up to gently grip the back of his neck. He avoided Dean's eyes until Dean ducked down stubbornly in a silent plea to look at him.

"Hey, Sam. Look at me. Hey."

Hesitantly, Sam met his eyes, swallowed audibly, still trying to get his haywire emotions under control.

"We go together or not at all."

Sam's eyes widened in shock. It wasn't the apology he was looking for, but it was a promise.

A promise that Dean knew. That there literally was no Winchester brother ... without the other.

Maybe, belatedly Sam realized, all he had been hoping for was his brother to realize that.

He nodded.

"I know."

Besides, it wasn't like he had ever wanted an apology from Dean. Just ... understanding.

Dean nodded back, a smile curving at his lips, which Sam returned, before squeezing his neck and letting his hand drop.

In silent sync, they moved as one to lean against the Impala again, the silence much lighter than it had been. A weight they hadn't even realized was there, was lifted.

Maybe all they needed was to talk, once in a while.

Sam mentally scoffed. Yeah, right.

"Hey, Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"If you ever need to - you know, about Hell ..."

A pause.

"Yeah."

The crickets started harmonizing.

Dean slapped at a mosquito that was buzzing annoyingly near his ear.

The stars held the Winchesters' gaze, memories of past put on hold for a while as they enjoyed each other's presence. Alive, shoulders brushing, under the night sky.

All the peace they could have. All they had ever wanted.

Sam started, suddenly remembered something.

He reached down, slowly removing Dean's amulet from around his neck as Dean turned to look at him curiously.

Sam's fingers rubbed against the charm, a quick swipe, before he held out the charm to Dean.

Dean stared at him, then switched his gaze towards the amulet dangling from Sam's grip.

He reached up and accepted the warm chain onto his palm, fingers moving over the familiar grooves, and slipped it over his neck.

"Figured you'd want it back", Sam said softly, gaze lingering on the tiny face that now rested over Dean's chest before going back to looking at the stars.

"Thanks, Sammy", Dean said softly, feeling like another piece had settled into place.

Sam's lips twisted up into a smile unconsciously mirroring his brother's.

The amulet was with its rightful owner. It was home.

He glanced sideways at his big brother, the meagre glow of the stars providing enough light to highlight Dean's soft smile and the peace in his eyes.

Sam was home.

The End.

A/N : Okay wow, that took a turn. But! The End! I've been writing this for like half a year, dear Lord! What the fuck is wrong with me?! I am so so sorry! But hope you liked it anyways!

Thank you to all those who read, reviewed, liked and followed this story! Thanks for staying with me!

Love y'all!