"Ghosts"

It didn't take Markus long to find Hank with the help from some of the observing androids in the area. He found the detective sitting against the wall outside of the Cyberlife tower with his head buried in his hands. The leaves were falling slowly in the early morning light and frost was covering the ground.

"Hank," Markus called out softly, "What are you doing out here? It's cold. You could get sick."

"I couldn't do it…" he answered with a low voice. "I thought I was gonna be sick when I…" Markus walked up to the detective, sliding down the wall and sitting next to him. He put a hand on his shoulder and Hank looked up slightly, still staring down at his hands.

"Everything's alright now." Markus reassured softly. "We were able to find the right parts with the lead Connor gave us. He needs time to recover, but he'll be okay. He's going to want to see you when he wakes up." He stopped for a moment, thinking about the situation that would come next. "He...might take the news about his system overload better if it came from you." Hank was still shaking his head, taking in deep and shaky breaths.

"I told myself I wouldn't do this today. I told myself I could handle it." Markus furrowed his brow slightly.

"Handle...what exactly?"

"This. Just...the whole...injury, hospital shit. I thought I could deal with it. Just this one time I had to deal with it. When I thought he was done for...I couldn't stand there any longer."

"I understand…" Markus stated, sympathizing with the lieutenant. "Nobody here was taking this easy. You're both respected in New Jericho and for a while we...we thought...we were going to lose Connor. You did well today. It's okay to fall apart a little bit sometimes."

"I just...I've never been good with the hospital crap. Partners, friends, and…" He stopped himself, a look of pain in his eyes. "Fucking…ghosts of the past."

"You don't have to talk about it Hank." said Markus. "It's not easy, I'm sure. But you should come back upstairs with me if you can. Your partner needs you."

"Shit, I know that." He replied, forcing a laugh. "But the last thing he needs right now is to feel like he has to take care of me. Always has since we met. I just...don't want to add that burden to him right now." Markus was silent, pondering how to reply when Hank pulled out his cell phone, checking the flood of messages he'd received the past few hours. He grumbled quietly.

"Of course...that fucking…" He sighed and rubbed the exhaustion from his eyes.

"Work?" Markus questioned.

"Yeah...one of the suspects we brought in. We can pin him at least for assaulting two officers, but everything else we have for the other five murders is circumstantial. Turns out androids are pretty good at not leaving behind any evidence." He grumbled. "The guys tried to interrogate him but he's just repeating his model and serial number. I don't know how the hell were supposed to get anything out of a military android. Those bastards were built not to spill secrets."

"A military android?" Markus asked, recognition passing over his eyes. "I've only ever met one...Most of the ones who deviate are killed in combat or shut down by the military. SQ800, right?"

"Yeah...that's the one. You think you might know this guy Markus? He was with a cop model from what Connor told me."

"Yeah...definitely them. Your suspect's name is Grant. He didn't talk to me much but followed around a PC200 named Marshall. He almost never left his side. They sought refuge with us after the revolution had ended." He looked down again, his brow furrowing. "Marshall I could see doing this kind of thing. He was...angry...when he spoke to me. Tried to bring plans of vengeance into New Jericho. I don't think he understood my position as a liaison between humans and androids and not an oppressor. But Grant...He was always soft spoken...Traumatized maybe, but not angry."

"Mainly acted as the muscle from my understanding. The other one was pretty beat up. Couldn't really walk but nearly kicked my ass anyways." He laughed bitterly.

"Grant was one of the few deviants I took in that could feel pain. The one conversation I ever had alone with him was about managing it, trying to come to terms with something like that."

"So that explains what happened back at the shipyard…" Hank muttered. "You've got a suspect with some trauma and another one with the rage to carry it out onto someone else...Bonus points if he's already part of the organization you're targeting."

"They both left not long after they arrived. Marshall realized we couldn't comply with the violence he was suggesting." Markus went on. "Grant wanted to stay...But he followed his partner despite that. In hindsight, I never should have let them leave. I just never thought they would carry out plans like that."

"Had Marshall talked about going after the DPD before?" Hank realized this was turning into another interview rather than a conversation between friends. But he needed any information he could get to take down this guy. Markus shook his head.

"It was all very vague. He wanted to prevent the migration of humans back into Detroit. Take them in like prisoners of war and torture them...chase any other humans away. I offered to let him stay in the tower to remain safe from any of the humans who came back after the evacuation, but he wasn't afraid or threatened by them. He simply didn't want them living amongst us. He was asking for a civil war and I could never accommodate that. A lot of us were angry like that. I didn't think anything of it at the time…"

"It's not your fault." Hank answered. "One thing about free will is the unpredictability of it. Everyone has some pretty fucked up thoughts from time to time, but you never know when somebody's gonna act on them. I just want to put this guy away for the shit he's done to my officers. But I'm not in the best headspace to figure it out right now…"

"Where's Marshall then?" Markus asked, "Did he get away?" Hank shook his head.

"He blitzed me back at the shipyard...He got the upper hand for a minute and Connor shot him before he could strangle me. Don't know much about android anatomy but I'm gonna guess a shot through the skull is enough to take him out for good."

"I see…" Markus was reminded of the broken Connor model in the sublevels. But maybe now wasn't the time to ask.

Hey Markus, we need you up here now! A cybernetic message from Damion came through. He's woken up in pain and is freaking out.

Okay, I'm coming.

"We need to get back up there."

"What?" Hank inquired, his face growing pale. "What's going on? What happened?"

"Connor's awake. His legs and chest plates haven't been repaired yet and he can feel it. Come with me. Now."

"O-okay, shit."

Hank trailed behind Markus as the two sprinted down the hallway. Hank could hear Connor's voice as they approached the infirmary.

"Get off of me, now." He was growling, trying to hide the obvious panic in his tone. "I've never needed to go offline for repairs before, and I don't need to now."

"Listen, it's for your own comfort, bastard." A harsh, female voice interrupted. It sounded like North. "We know you're in system overload right now and you're feeling abnormal and unpleasant sensations. But we aren't going to fix shit if you're going to be screaming throughout the entire procedure." His calm composure had been completely destroyed at this point. He was yelling at North now.

"I told you I don't know what you're talking about and I'm not feeling anything! Just get your hands off of me. I'm not going offline."

"I can't even get near your legs without you flinching! You're going to be in fucking agony if we try to do this while you're conscious. That's how this shit works."

"You're delusional! Androids can't feel pain. I can't feel pain."

"Do you want us to fucking restrain you? Because I will and I promise you it'll be very fucking unplesant to sit here, tied down while we fix your wiring. But if you're going to try to hit my fucking technicians then-"

"Hey!" Hank jumped in as the door slid open. The two arguing androids stopped to look at him. "You." He pointed at North, "Back off for a second." Her face hardened at the lieutenant and stepped away from Connor who Hank was now glaring at. "And you, shut the fuck up for a second and quit being a fucking asshole, will ya? The fuck's wrong with you?"

Markus had stepped to the side to accompany his friends, letting Hank take the lead. He had his hand shielding his eyes, likely embarrassed from watching Connor and his girlfriend bitch at eachother like this.

"Nothing is wrong with me. She's the one who's acting crazy!" He was gritting his teeth trying not to let anyone see how badly his body hurt.

"Oh yeah?" Hank laughed humorlessly, "Well you're being a fucking dick and acting like a child right now and you need to cut it out. Listen, you can say whatever you want about what you're feeling. You can make shit up about how it isn't real, you can lie to me and Markus and all the people here trying to help you. You can try to lie to yourself even, but your body language is a fucking tell right now. North wasn't lying to you and neither is anyone else." Hank sighed heavily when Connor nervously forced his gaze to the ceiling. "I know what pain looks like, alright. I'm a cop. I've watched a lot of people get stabbed and shot and have the shit kicked out of them. And I especially know what trying to hide it looks like."

"This isn't-"

"Ah." Hank interrupted, "Shut up. This is a real thing kid. System overload or some shit. It's real and it happens to androids who get beaten half to death, Connor. Markus has met them. Including the bastard in our holding cells right now. Now I get it if you don't want to accept that right now, and to be honest I don't expect you to. But what we're not gonna do is take it out on these androids. So you're going to shut the fuck up for a second, and be nice and polite and compliant to the people that are trying to help, alright?" Connor was silent, taking in slow and steady breaths.

"You aren't lying to me?" Connor asked, his voice slightly strained. "This is real?"

"Yeah, kid. I wouldn't lie to you about this. I'm sorry."

"Is it...permanent? If it's a software error then…" Markus stepped back into the conversation this time.

"I've never seen it reverse before. I'm not saying it couldn't. But if it's possible, I couldn't tell you how to fix it." The other android swallowed hard.

"You...you're sure?"

"Yeah, he is." Hank stated. "So right now you have to listen to North, Sami, and Damion. Then we...we can figure out where to go from there, okay?"

"I...yeah. Got it." He stated hesitantly. North finally spoke up when the room became uncomfortably quiet.

"I'm... gonna go help the others find some more parts, alright? Josh. Simon. You're with me."

Markus and Hank stood awkwardly as the others left. Probably just wanted to get out of there for a second. They couldn't really blame them. Connor was silent, probably struggling to process the new information. Before anyone could say anything, Hank's phone chimed again to break the silence.

"The precinct?" Connor asked when Hank went for his cell.

"Yeah probably." Hank grumbled. "They took in that...er...military android but he's just repeating a mantra to himself whenever they ask anything. They think it might be something he was programmed to do or some shit. Model and serial numbers. And Markus says he knows the guy weirdly enough. Small world right?"

"Wait...You know him, Markus?" Connor questioned. An idea.

"That's right. I met both of them a while back."

"Hank, we could use that to our advantage." Hank straightened up a bit.

"What are you talking about?"

"The interrogation. Grant is a military model. He was taken off the battlefield shortly after developing deviancy and latched onto the first android he met after he was reactivated. Why is that?"

"How should I know? He's a delusional murder, who knows why they do what they do?"

"He latched onto him because he wasn't sure what to do without an authority figure, without orders. They bonded instantly because Marshall saved Grant's life and then gave him a purpose."

"We already know that fucker wasn't exactly the brains of the operation. What does that have to do with getting a confession?"

"Does he know about what's happened with Marshall or me yet?"

"No…" Hank paused, trying to figure out his partner's endgame here. "I ordered them to withhold any evidence or information until I could get on the scene. I can't promise they won't do or say certain things just to mess with him. Most of our men are pretty fucking angry."

"Well, try to keep it that way. The less he knows, the more we can use this to our advantage."

"Seriously Connor, what's your plan here?" Hank spoke up again, growing impatient.

"Markus is my plan." He replied, a small look of determination in his eyes that somehow brought Hank some hope. "Hank, you start the interrogation cold, aggressive, and intimidating. Which...shouldn't be difficult given that's how you always are." Hank rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Yeah lay off, will ya?" Connor ignored him.

"Thinking that he killed your partner will give him confidence that he could get out of the situation. But it will also provide more fear from your threats and intimidation tactics. He'll believe there are no other witnesses and he's in the clear, but also that you may destroy him or harm him as a result. Grant is...terrified of pain. The threat will likely be a serious one for him."

"Won't that just make him shut me out even more? We can't get anything out of a suspect that's too terrified to speak to me." Hank murmured, speaking from past experience.

"In theory, yes. So you probably won't get much out of him at this stage. But that's why we need Markus. Grant finds comfort in having an authority figure around to tell him what to do. So we take Hank, a threatening and aggressive cop, and then quickly shift and introduce Markus, a familiar and comforting figure of authority. He's likely to instantly establish rapport with Markus and will be more inclined to answer his questions."

"Connor I'm pretty sure you just fucking...android-splained good cop/bad cop to me." Hank spoke, half laughing at the revelation. "But you really think playing good cop/bad cop with this guy is going to work?" Markus interrupted him

"Connor...I don't know how to interrogate people. I've never had to do it before and I'm definitely not programmed for it like you."

"You weren't programmed to start a fucking revolution either but you're pretty damn good at that." Hank retorted.

"It's our best bet right now. Once I'm stable enough, I'll go with you and guide you cybernetically if you don't know what to say. Odds are he'll speak more easily with you than he will during the actual interrogation."

"Wait, are you suggesting we take you to the precinct immediately after you've been repaired? Don't you need time to...I don't know, recover or something?"

"Android pain isn't like human pain. He shouldn't have any residual soreness after everything's been replaced. He might even be able to walk on his own." Markus answered.

"What about what you said about Marshall? Why do we want to keep that from him?"

"A few reasons. He could self-destruct if he learned of his death. And if he believes his partner is safe, he may try to take the fall for it. If we can catch him in a lie, he might accidentally admit something."

"Shit…" Hank sighed. "So we're doing this huh?"

It took a few hours for the New Jericho technicians to finish their remaining repairs, during which Hank was able to update the other officers and Fowler on Connor's condition and their plan. Afterwards, Hank called Chris to pick them up and bring Hank back his car, citing that there was "no fucking way he was getting into a goddamned taxi after this shit."

After they arrived safely at the precinct, Connor and Markus settled into the observation room where Grant was still waiting silently behind the two-way glass.

"You think he can pull this off?" Markus asked. "How good are Hank's acting skills?"

"He's an angry, unhinged police detective who wants to kill that android playing the role of 'an angry, unhinged police detective who wants to kill that android.' He doesn't need to act." Connor replied. "He's more than pissed off right now. He shouldn't have any problem convincing him that I'm dead."

The two androids watched diligently when Hank finally entered the interrogation room. Connor carefully monitored Grant's stress. From 51% to 62% just from the detective entering the room. They must have met in the shipyard since the deviant's eyes sparked with recognition. He quickly averted his gaze when the lieutenant sat down. Hank said nothing for a few moments, analyzing the android's demeanor and body language before choosing the right approach. A file full of images from the previous murders as well as a few from the shipyard lay to his right. His eyes were cold and murderous in a way that Connor hadn't seen before. He wasn't sure if the look was a part of the act or if Hank was truly restraining from tearing their suspect to pieces right now. Markus looked to Connor with a similar sentiment.

"So," Hank began, not taking his eyes off of the android. "My boys caught you running from a crime scene. Not to mention one that involved a Detroit police officer." Connor watched the deviant, looking for some kind of tell as Hank spoke. "I hope you know how bad that looks for you right now. So I'm gonna need some kind of explanation for what you were doing there and why the hell you were running, because right now, you're looking pretty fucking guilty in my book."

"Model: SQ800. Serial Number 423-657-593-82." The android stated in response, his eyes void of any signs of fear.

"So you want to be put away then?" Hank mocked, "Because if you keep that shit up and refuse to talk to me, that's what's going to happen. And these officers out here," He pointed his thumb in the direction of the door. "They're pretty fucking pissed, and I can't promise they're gonna let you walk out of this room still intact. Of course, for any android, that shouldn't be a problem, right?" His stress rose to 67%. "We can just...have our boys gather up all your pieces and weld you back together, huh?" He shrugged nonchalantly. "Not a problem."

"Model: SQ800. S-serial Number 423-657-593-82." Again, with hesitation this time.

"Because...I don't know if you're aware but we've had six officers murdered in the span of two weeks, two of which came from this precinct. And you just 'happened' to be taking a late night jog at the scene of one of them." Down to 57% now.

"Tweaking the numbers seemed to have convinced him." Connor murmured to Markus. "His stress went down considerably just from learning that I didn't survive.

"I'm sure you already knew this since you've been spying on my department, but that android we found tonight, happened to be my partner. So as you can imagine," His eyes flickered slightly. Rage. "This is a little bit personal for me. So don't be too surprised when I let some of his friends in here and turn my back for a few minutes. People mourn in...lots of different ways, you know. But you'll be fine. It's really the least you can do. Afterall, androids don't feel pain, yeah?"

"M-model: SQ800. S-serial Number-"

"Enough of that shit!" Hank suddenly exploded, standing up and slamming his hands down on the table in front of him. The android flinched back, his stress shooting up to 83%.

"Easy, Lieutenant." Connor muttered to himself. "Don't overplay it. You're trying to scare him, not kill him."

"You keep that up and I'm going to 'pay my respects to the dead' myself, got it?"

"I…" The android finally spoke. "It's not like that...I…"

"Then what is it like?" Hank demanded. "Wrong place wrong time kinda situation? You got a partner?"

"No! I…" He slipped up. The look on his face was obvious.

"He's trying so hard to protect his partner, he made a mistake." Connor narrated to Markus. "Saying no to either of those questions gives Hank an opening."

"No you weren't there by accident or no you don't have a partner?" He was silent. He needed a good excuse or answer to get out of this but his eyes were full of panic.

"I was…" He trailed off, his stress rising again to 89%. He wasn't going to tell Hank anything but the detective had made a good opening. The detective looked to the glass, throwing his middle finger up at his side where the android wouldn't see. Connor couldn't help but smirk.

"There's your…'signal' Markus." Connor sighed. "Your turn."

"Alright…" Markus replied, standing from his chair and sighing. "I'll try."

"Whatever." Hank finally responded to the silent suspect, getting up from his chair and turning to face the door. "I'm done with this shit. You got a visitor by the way. An old friend who apparently wants to hear your side of this." The android looked up with confusion. Hank opened up the door, the android's eyes widening when he saw the other person.

"Markus?" He asked breathlessly.

"Hi Grant." Markus greeted him, taking a seat.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, his eyes lighting up.

"This is good." Stated Connor as Hank walked into the observation room. "He's talking more and his stress has gone down."

"Yeah well, let's hope that's enough to get a confession."

Connor let Markus and Grant talk for a few minutes, making small talk and establishing a sense of connection. It was odd to Connor how quickly his demeanor changed and became more relaxed despite the current environment. After a few minutes, Connor gave Markus a cue to change the subject.

"Grant…" He spoke slowly, "You...know why I'm here, right?"

"Yeah...You wanted to talk to me...about…" He trailed off slightly. Connor watched intensively, hoping the android wouldn't shut down again and return to silence. "About...the android detective."

"Yeah...and the five other police officers they think you killed."

"I…"

"Listen…" Markus interrupted, trying to ease the tension a bit more. "I don't need to know about the other officers right now. But that android was my friend. Connor helped us build New Jericho following the revolution and he's part of the reason we weren't killed that night. If anything, I just want to know what happened to him for my own sake." Grant was silent, his stress raising again.

"Markus...no matter what I say they're going to tear me apart. The officers here believe I did it and they aren't going to take my word for it when there's two dead from their department."

"Offer protection." Connor stated cybernetically, speaking out loud as well so Hank could listen in.

"I...I can keep you safe from the other officers in here. I have friends in the precinct who will listen to me even if you did kill them. But I can only do that if you tell me the truth." Connor watched his reaction carefully before speaking to Markus again.

"He's getting ready to lie to you. Call him out on it if you can. I'll provide any evidence that will show he's lying."

"I...I was just looking for a place to stay for the night. I was...in the shipyards when he ran up to attack me. He...he pulled a gun on me! It...was self defense. I didn't know what else to do!"

"I was unarmed." Connor argued. "Psych eval. Wasn't even supposed to be in the field."

"He was on a probationary period. Doing desk work, Grant. He didn't have a weapon on him when he left the precinct." The android opened his mouth to say something but closed it again. "So you did have an encounter with Connor." Markus stated, "And you attacked him from what you're implying. But he was unarmed." Silence. "Grant…where's Marshall? You never left his side before. If he coerced you into this, you don't have to protect him. Knowing that could give you a lighter sentence."

"No! Marshall and I haven't been together in a long time. After Jericho. We split up…"

"His guard will be lowered if he's defending the partner." Connor mentioned. "Bring up these details of the crimes while keeping Marshall in the picture. He may admit to the crimes if it means not selling out his partner."

"So you've been alone this whole time?"

"Yes."

"And you took Connor from the taxi you hacked to the shipyard on your own."

"Yes, Markus!"

"What about the other police officers? Did he help you abduct and kill them?"

"No he wasn't there."

"You killed them on your own? And it was your idea?"

"Yes, I killed them and the other android, and Marshall wasn't involved!"

Connor and Hank looked at eachother, smirking slightly. They had the confession. But Markus wasn't finished.

"Nobody here is going to hurt you, Grant. I'll make sure of it. But…" He paused, and then met Grant's eyes. "But I'm not going to lie to you now. The officers found Marshall at the shipyard as well, with Connor. And we know he was involved...Because Connor survived the attack." Grant simply stared at him, a wave of horror passing over his face.

"If you knew...then why did you…"

"We still needed the confession...You and Marshall hurt a lot of people. And I'm sorry for deceiving you...But I need to help protect this city if I can…"

"What they did to us wasn't fair, Markus!" The android exclaimed. He was beginning to break down. "We were tortured and Marshall was nearly killed. He wanted people to know what it was like. He wanted justice!"

"And so do I. I want justice for the people in the precincts and their families who were punished for something they weren't directly responsible for...And for Connor…" He paused, looking at the two-way glass. Connor didn't look back at him. "Grant...You forced another android into system overload...knowing how difficult that is to go through. Why would you want that for somebody else?"

"I didn't want that...I just...Marsh… he wanted somebody else to know what it felt like for my sake... he did it for me. Because he loved and cared about me..."

"Nobody tortures someone out of love, Grant. He didn't do that because he loved you...He did it because he liked torturing people, because he was angry and that made him feel less angry." Grant was trembling as he faced the floor. "But, you knew that...didn't you?"

"We argued about it…" Grant admitted, trying to keep himself from sobbing. "He...promised me it wasn't about the torture, that it was about telling a story...But they were alive when he skinned them...and I didn't like watching him do it. So I did it. And...I tortured your friend too. But Marsh wanted to kill him...So when the sirens came, and he told me to run...I agreed." He stared at the two way mirror as well, guessing that the android he'd nearly killed was there. "I couldn't watch him kill one of our own kind…" Connor met the other android's eyes for a moment, his own breaths becoming shaky and unsteady.

"I'm…so sorry…" Was the only thing Grant said to him before turning back to Markus. "And...Marshall...is he?"

"He was shot after attacking the lieutenant…" Markus answered truthfully. "He's dead...I'm sorry." Grant nodded, trying to maintain his composure, but it quickly dissolved into tears.

"I...loved him…" He got out between sobs.

"I know…" Markus said sadly. "But you have to be held accountable for what the two of you did...You killed people."

"Isn't that what a soldier is supposed to do..?"

Hank and Connor let the android compose himself for a few minutes, Markus agreeing to stay with him before the officers took him back to the holding cells. Hank looked like he was ready to go, his face worn with exhaustion and stress. But Connor was still sitting down facing the floor, his L.E.D. cycling yellow with an occasional flash of red. Hank stared down at him for a moment, feeling a twinge of guilt and pity in his stomach.

"You alright?" He asked. "Do you need me to help you to the car or..?"

"No…it's not that." He looked back to where the suspect was sitting. "He apologized to me." Connor's own voice was cold and monotonous. "And I'm…angry because of it."

"Because he said he was sorry?"

"Yes!" Connor yelled looking back at Hank. "Yes, because he…Look I know it sounds stupid but…"

"Listen, kid. I get it. And you can be angry at him for that. Hell you can be angry at him for every little thing he does for the rest of his life if you want. You think that junkie doctor didn't apologize to me after I lost Cole?" He paused for a moment. "Apologies don't mean you're required to forgive. It feels that way sometimes. Like if you don't reply with "it's okay" then you're the asshole. But it's not okay. And you have the right to be not okay for as long as it takes." Connor was looking at the floor again, tapping his foot against the tile. "My dad used to tell me that apologies are for other people and forgiveness is for yourself. Once you stop beating yourself up with pent up rage or you're tired of feeling angry all the time, then you can learn to forgive those people…take that weight off your own shoulders."

"Am I…even going to be able to do my job after this? I'm not used to feeling these kinds of things and I'm…terrified by it, Hank."

"If you're talking about taking a small pause before running into a storm of bullets, or jumping off a building to chase some asshole, then I'd consider that an improvement." Hank smirked slightly. "Pain has never stopped any other cop in the world from doing stupid, dangerous shit. Never stopped me and I'll bet your ass it won't stop you."

"I'm not sure how to deal with this."

"You'll figure it out with time. But I'm here for you though all the fucked up shit, alright? Just keep that in mind if you ever think about tearing that bastard's head off." Connor laughed quietly.

"Yeah, whatever you say Hank…thanks."

"Yeah don't fucking mention it." He scoffed. "How bout we get out of this place now? I've been here almost 24 hours and would like to get the fuck out of here." Connor smiled slightly and followed Hank out of the observation room.

A couple of officers were already leading Grant out of the room, looking worn out and broken. He met eyes with Connor for a moment, giving him a look that he couldn't quite decipher. Hank chucked quietly, folding his arms over his chest.

"I'd be freaked out too if I met eyes with a fucking ghost. Let's go."

Author's note.

To the guest who left a review two years ago that was just titled "Sorry" I want to let you know, if you did come back to this story and are still apart of this fandom, I apologize. I had forgotten to update here and was mostly posting on AO3. But coming back here two years later, your comment was incredibly inspiring and brought me so much confidence. I wish you weren't anonymous and I could reply to you. But thank you so much. And I hope that the rest of my story lives up to how it ended when I took my hiatus. Love you, dude.