The Legacy of a Hero

Chapter Thirty

Heather wasn't sure how long she sat in the grass, the ache in her chest trying to become a black hole, trying to swallow her. When she'd finally pulled herself together enough to find tissues in her bag, the sun was low along the skyline, the headstones casting longer and longer shadows. She finally found what she wanted towards the bottom of her bag, half crushed under notebooks, her wallet and her cell phone.

As she cleaned her face up, attempting to unclog her nose only semi successfully, she could see her phone flashing with unread messages. Part of her wanted to forget the rest of the world even existed. What did any of it matter when her dad was gone?

Absently, she unlocked the screen. Twenty unread messages. There were two texts from her mom, one from Harry, three from Robin, one from Mike, and thirteen from Rhi.

Mom: Heather? Where are you? Rhi texted me that you weren't at school, and I know you guys don't tell us stuff like that unless you're really worried

Mom: Your dad called me, said he took you to see an old friend, I'm glad you're okay. Your father and I are going to have a talk about consulting me before he just takes off with one of our children on a school day, but you're off the hook. Love you, sweetie

Harry: Why is mom asking me where you are? Also, where are you that mom doesn't know? Secret superhero mission? Please tell me it's a secret mission bc that is so cool

Robin: So about that tour?

Robin: For real though, you were kind of freaking me out the other night. Felt like a pretty successful mission to me, but you were clearly not feeling the aster

Robin: C'mon, you can talk to me. We know each other's secrets, whatever is going on you can trust me

Mike: HM, you good? Rhi's freaking out

Rhi: Heather where are you?

Rhi: You haven't been in any of our classes and you never miss school

Rhi: You're not even at lunch?! Wtf Heather?

Rhi: C'mon you can't just take off in the middle of the night on me

Rhi: Girl, you're scaring me

Rhi: Is it something with your dad? It is, right? We can help!

Rhi: I'm your best friend and you trusted me with your secret, let me help you please

Rhi: I finally pried it out of Ms Sweet that your dad called the school this morning, so I at least know your dad is safe now, but he said you were sick?

Rhi: Did you get hurt in a fight? Are you okay?

Rhi: That's it, I'm calling your mom. If you don't answer me in the next five seconds I'm ratting you out and you can't even be mad about it

Rhi: Your mom didn't even know you weren't in school, wtf is up with that? Your dad really does fail at all the basic parenting requirements

Rhi: Look, I know you were upset last night, and maybe you were just worried about your dad, but you found him clearly and I can't think of a single reason why you aren't answering me unless something really really bad happened, so please call me before I go crazy

Rhi: Heather please call me, I'm begging

Heather's thumb hovered over Rhi's profile picture, a selfie from three years ago taken at Coney Island. The picture of Rhi with twin braids and braces usually made Heather laugh, but right at this minute she wasn't sure she was ever going to laugh again. She dropped her phone back into her bag, swiping at her face as fresh tears dripped down her cheeks. She pulled her knees up to her chest, hugging her legs as she stared at her father's grave.

Why wasn't it me? Why did it have to be you?

"Heather?"

Heather turned her head at the familiar voice, and blinked several times. "You know, I was expecting insanity from grief would take a lot longer to kick in," she murmured, the hoarseness of her own voice surprising her.

Dick stood a few feet away wearing civilian street clothes, a pair of dark sunglasses obscuring his ice blue eyes. Even with his expression half obscured, he looked uncomfortable, hands shoved into the pockets of his hoodie. "Dude, are you okay? No wait," he groaned, pushing up his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose, "Sorry, dumb question. You're very clearly not okay. What happened?" He approached slowly, crouching down next to her but not attempting to touch her.

Somewhere in the back of her head, Heather was glad for that. If it had been her mom or Rhi, they would have tried to smother her in a hug, which was the last thing she wanted right now.

"How did you…?" Heather asked instead of answering him, rubbing her still watering eyes.

Dick looked sheepish. "I uh, may have gotten your GPS location off your cell phone," he admitted, sinking onto the grass next to her.

"I'm pretty sure that's illegal," Heather said, a weak smile trying and failing to materialize on her face.

"I figure, when a friend is in trouble, a little law breaking is justified," Dick seemed to notice the headstones for the first time and frowned. Heather could almost hear the gears turning in his mind, counting the graves, taking the dates into consideration.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He finally asked in a soft voice, almost nonchalant in tone, like he was asking about how her last math quiz went.

She took a breath, attempting for a moment to construct a lie or a half truth, but her gaze landed back on Ben's epitaph - devoted husband, loving father, a true hero - and suddenly the whole story was spilling out, along with her sobs. Dick listened patiently, one hand rubbing small circles between her shoulders. He didn't interrupt or even ask any questions, almost like he knew she had to get it all out in one go or she'd never feel whole again. By the time Heather's sobs had died down, the sun was red in the sky and the street lights were beginning to flicker on.

"I'm sorry," She murmured, embarrassed as she wiped the fresh tears and snot with her last tissue. She hadn't cried like this in years, not since middle school at least, and she was painfully aware that the kid comforting her wasn't much older than her brother.

"Dude, you don't have anything to be sorry for," Dick pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to her.

Heather took it with a huffy laugh, a feeling like hysteria filling her empty chest. "Seriously? That might be the most 'rich kid' thing you've ever done around me."

"Don't knock it until you try it," Dick smirked. "Besides, it's that or your jacket, because you're out of tissues."

"It's monogrammed, Dick, like… what even?" Heather wiped her face with the cloth, and gave him a watery smile. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

"No, really," She took a deep cleansing breath. "Thank you. I," she looked down at the handkerchief clenched in her hands, rubbing her thumb over the embroidered letters, RJG. "I didn't want to be alone, but I didn't think… I didn't know who I should call." I didn't want to bother anyone. I didn't think I was worth anyone's time, she thought.

"Sometimes, it's like that," Dick said knowingly. "It's been five years since I lost my parents, and sometimes that feeling tries to swallow you up. But that's when you need people the most," he knocked his shoulder into hers, gently, and it made her smile.

"You're way too smart for thirteen," Heather dug in her bag for a hair tie, feeling like she needed to be doing something with her hands. "My brother should take pointers from you."

"You could introduce us," Dick offered with a smile.

"Is that safe for you and you-know-who?" She asked, pulling her hair up into a messy bun.

"Voldemort? Definitely not," He cackled at the sour look she shot him. "I'm messing with you, I know who you meant. You could introduce me as Robin. If he can keep your secret, I know he can keep mine. Well, one of mine. You should've seen Batman's face when I told him both you and Wally figured it out," he smiled wryly at the memory.

"Wally?" She asked, distracted as she thumbed through her messages again.

"Wally West, also known as Kid Flash, one of my oldest and best friends," Dick seemed to be looking at her phone as well. "You should answer those," he said eventually.

"I guess…"

"I mean, at least answer that Rhianna girl before she loses it completely."

"Rhi's just dramatic sometimes."

"Still, you shouldn't leave her 'on read'. She's your friend, right?"

"Best friend since elementary school. She's the first person I told about my powers. I just… this is a lot, you know? How do I even explain," she made a helpless gesture, "all of this?"

Dick leaned back on his hands, trying to get more comfortable on the grass. "My advice? Start at the beginning and take your time. If she's really your friend, she'll be there for you."

"I just… Dick, do you realize what this means? I'm not… I mean," Heather pushed the loose hairs that fell from the bun back from her face impatiently, her thoughts spiraling. "Dick, my Dad was a clone. What does that even make me? I'm- I'm not-"

"Heather," He interrupted her gently. "You're human, and so was your dad. Metahuman, sure, but still human. Never let anyone tell you otherwise."

"I…" she wiped away the tear that had slipped down her cheek. Even the thought of crying made her exhausted at this point. "It's not just that. Dick, my Dad is gone and it's my fault. He was trying to save me. I don't even know what happened that night. How do I live with myself knowing that someone else is dead because of me? Maybe I could have stopped it, like how I could have saved Iris, but I will probably never know the answer. What kind of a person does that make me?" She pulled her legs up to her chest again and dropped her forehead to her knees. A monster, that's what it makes me...

"Listen, I may have never met your dad," he leaned forward, elbows braced on his knees as he tried to catch her downcast eyes. "But I've met you. Do you see what's written there?"

He pointed at the headstone and she felt the ache in her chest grow. "A true hero. A hero is someone who fights for others, because they know it's the right thing. You saw someone in trouble that night, and tried to help her. If you hadn't intervened, Iris might have died anyway, we'll never know for sure. The point is, you tried, look-"

He started counting on his fingers. "You tried to save Iris. You took responsibility for finding the people who hurt her. You saved those kids from getting smashed by that car. You stopped Hydroman from flooding fifth avenue. You saved Spiderman, even though he'd lied to you. You put your heart into all those things, even when your life was in danger. You didn't give up, even when other people tried to make you."

"Fat lot of good it did me," She shook her head, finally turning to look at him. "I can't prove the Kingpin is behind everything. I can't make him face a judge for what he did."

"But you can bring closure to Iris' family. Sometimes that's the best we can do," Dick gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze, and the weight of his calloused hand seemed to ground her back in the moment.

"The Avengers said the same thing last night," She admitted. "I mean, that's what I've wanted all along was to give Mr. Chen something, even if I couldn't bring his daughter back to him. But I just… is it too much to ask for closure for me as well? Is that…" She shook her head. "That's selfish, isn't it? To think that I'm so special that I get to have a happy ending, all neatly wrapped up in a bow? To have the answers to all my questions handed to me like I'm a character in a sitcom."

"I don't think that's selfish," He said, and the honesty in his voice did nothing to quiet her self-loathing thoughts. "I think it's human."

"Well…" She said then stopped, unsure of how to put her thoughts into words.

Dick didn't press her, and for a while they just sat on the grass as the city that never slept moved around them. The normal sounds of traffic and pedestrians was eventually broken by Heather's phone chiming. She picked up the phone, seeing Rhi's profile picture as her friend tried to reach her again.

Heather's finger hovered over the ignore button, but then remembered the promise she'd made - what felt like a lifetime ago - to keep her friend in the loop, to stick this out together no matter what. She glanced at Dick, and the gentle smile he gave her while nudging her shoulder once more, made something shift in her mind. She hit answer and stood up, bringing the phone to her ear.

"Hey, Rhi? Yeah, it's me… I know, I know… well, it's a long story. How about I tell you over milkshakes? ...yeah, I'll meet you there… yeah, and by the way? I've got a friend I want you and Mike to meet."

AN: This was... difficult to get through. I've always tried not to talk a lot about my personal life here, aside from in broad strokes, but this chapter just brought out a lot of painful memories for me. I sort of had to get used to the idea of death at an early age, of the unfairness of losing someone you love, and that you almost never get to say a proper goodbye to someone. I lost my uncle to a long term illness two years ago this November. Even with seven years of knowing we would lose him, there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about all the things I should have told him. But death isn't easy whether it's quick or prolonged, it just never is. A long time ago, someone commented that they wished Heather would 'get over' Iris' death already. You don't get over it when someone dies, especially right in front of you, ask anyone that works in the medical field. All you can learn to do is live with the loss, and over time the ache lessens and dulls, but it's never gone. I hope wherever you are tonight, you're surrounded by people who love you, and if you're not, please reach out to them. Life is too short to push the people we love away. Have a good weekend everyone.