Name: Can't tell you. Security reasons.

Gender: Male, obviously.

Birth of Date: September 18, 1988.

Stories in progress:

Naruto Shipuuden: Rise of the Malestrom:

During a visit to Tsunade, Naruto tells the truth about his training trip which included knowing his heritage, going to his Mother's birthplace, being trained by his Mother's apprentice, and the truth about Kyuubi's attack on Konoha. However, during his attempt to the Chuunin Exams with his thought-to-be-dead sister and long-lost cousin, he plans the counter-attack on Orochimaru (who has Sasuke's body) and Madara with the help from Uzugakure's Team Seven, the Kazekage, the Rasenkage (who is his aunt) and the Nine Star Kunoichi of Uzugakure, the paths of Obito, Asuma, Zabuza, Jiraiya, and Yakumo, three former members of Akatsuki, and a Sasuke who died when Orochimaru's seal took full effect. Parings include Naruto/Sakura/Hinata/FemKyuubi, Sasuke/Karin, OC/Anko/Yugito, Kakashi/Rin, and Sai/Kin (with Naruto as the overprotective older brother in the relationship between Sasuke and Karin). No Sasuke Bashing because he was technically killed by Orochimaru in this story.

Naruto the Smash Brother:

Naruto/Nintendo/Metal Gear Solid/SEGA Super Stars/Soul Calibur/Star Wars/Tales of Symphonia/Bomberman/Square-Enix/NamcoXCapcom crossover in a sense similar to Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon (which involves Link+Soul Calibur+Star Wars/Tales of Symphonia, Wario+Bomberman, and Geno+Square-Enix). The Master Hand, years after the Subspace Incident, has taken interest in our young Demon Vessel and has sent one of his fighters to pick him up and train him. Eight Years in Naruto Time, he returned with power under his belt that is restrained, souvenirs foreign to the Ninja World, and love interests from the other worlds he's been to that would make Konoha's more ignorant bunch crap their pants. Naruto gets a massive harem and Sasuke gets his ass handed to him in certain intervals.

My choices:

Midna, Rao/Female Kyuubi, Hinata, Blaze the Cat, Felicia (Darkstalkers), Yoruichi (Bleach), Soi Fong (Bleach), Taki (Soul Calibur), Ivy (Soul Calibur), and Shade the Echidna (Sonic Chronicles).

Karma's Retribution:

A Ranma mass-crossover story with Hellboy, Naruto, Bleach, Soul Eater, Gold Digger, Darkstalkers, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Yu-Gi-Oh, and more. Hearing about Ranma's treatment in Nerima, an American multi-billionare (who happens to be his cousin) steps in Nerima with the Fist of Karma and gives the citizens lawsuits of harassment as fit by both the Japanese and American governments. Unfortunately, when they think Nerima is over, Ranma, Nabiki, Kasumi, Dr. Tofu, Nodoka, and Ukyo are dragged into the cousin's workforce. Can they make it out with their sanity intact and without Nabiki's itchy finger exposing them?

Persona Task Force series:

My own SI-based series with certain things similar to that of an American series.

Pokemon Chronicles:

Five years after Ash became a Pokemon Master, a young man named Andrew had arrived at Pallet Town because of an errand. Now he, his Raichu Jolt, Ash, Pikachu, and the current Professor Oak (Gary) have to stop Team Rocket with the help from other trainers in order to make sure that Arceus's awakening goes without a hitch, or else the world ends. Might want some OC Trainers.

Chracters involved:

Ash (the Master);

Andrew (the Rogue);

Gary (the Professor);

Misty (the Rain);

Brock (the Boulder);

May (the Flower);

Brendan (the Scholar);

Max (the Wise);

Landon (the Silver);

Jimmy (the Gold);

Marina (the Crystal);

Sarah (the Green);

Lukas (the Diamond);

Dawn (the Mist);

Daimon (the Pearl);

Paul (the Darkness);

Wesley (the Traitor);

Rui (the Spirit);

Michael (the Prodigy);

Lance (the Preventer);

Cynthia (the Chariot);

Mewtwo (the Death);

Lucario (the Reincarnation); and

Arceus (the Creator)

The Horse and the King:

No, this isn't a Bleach Fanfic. It's a crossover between Ranma 1/2 and YuGiOh GX that centers around Ranma and Jaden. During his ronin days going around the world, he ends up in the Nexus of Chaos, Nerima, and meets Ranma as he fell from the sky via Akane Airlines. With the meeting between the World's Greatest Martial Artist and the Top Duelist within a decade, their troubles will cross. Big time. Can Jaden keep his sanity intact as he deals with the aqua transsexual, a panda, a duck, a cat, a pig, a tomboy with an itchy trigger finger, a scheming lady, guys who want to kill his new friend, an old Amazon Matriarch, a pervert who's around 300 years old (give or take a few months), a guy who uses pantyhose for a weapon, an idiot who can't wield his sword properly, a man with no sense of direction (at all), delicacies that not even Joey Wheeler would touch (he's not THAT stupid and hungry most of the time), ki-draining teachers, cross-dressing cooks with ninjitsu under their belt, an insane woman who's obsessed with Ranma, a blind man with tons of weapons, an Amazon Fiancee, a half-dragon prince, and a leader of a semi-immortal tribe while looking for the Light of Destruction?

Wrong question to ask. I meant can he keep Yubel's ANGER in check when he deals with Ranma's problems? One thing's for sure: He really, really, REALLY doesn't have time for this crap right now.

Jaden: Uh...what was that part about being an aqua transsexual?

Ranma: Long story. It involves a training trip...

Okay, and I almost forgot about Ranma's grandchild-obsessed Mother AND the worst case of aluriphobia anyone has ever seen.

Jaden: How bad is it?

Let's just say that Neo Spacian Black Panther would want to kill Genma in the worst way possible for pulling the stunt with the fish sausage, the pit, and the starved cats.

Black Panther: DAMN RIGHT!

Ranma: CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!

Jaden: Wait a minute...you can see him?

Oh dear...someone get the cold water.

One-Shot collections:

Kingdom Hearts Worlds:

Basically, Donald, Goofy, and Sora are in worlds that weren't originally in the series. First one was Shibuya, Tokyo and the Underground with the enemy as what I pictured the Fourteenth Member would look like. However, if you want a world to be introduced, it has to follow these guidelines:

1) The Anime/Cartoon/Game/TV Show/Book/Movie/etc has to be finished;

2) If it is finished, think of a plotline that can fit into it; and

3) Keyblade and Ultima ideas are a must, as well as an optional minigame.

Suggested worlds:

Pre-Crystal Tokyo (by an anonymous reviewer).

The ?? of Haruhi Suzumiya (aka, Kyon, what the hell happened!?):

It was no secret that Haruhi had the powers of a God, but what if a third-party source was involved? To put it simply, Kyon and the other members of the SOS Brigade have to fix it IMMEDIATELY...and Kyon gains the power to fight in the process. If they fail, the world as they know it is doomed, and Kyon would be the one to blame, even if it wasn't his fault. One-Shots happen to be in Kyon's POV, and if anyone has the idea to continue any of them, be sure to credit me for the idea. Otherwise, think of a series that can tickle my funny-bone when crossed over. ANY series.

Already used ideas:

Melty Blood;

Kingdom Hearts.

One Shot Eds:

AKA, the Newest Season of Ed, Edd, n Eddy as written by myself. This time, the Eds see their side of Murphy's Law work through cameo appearances...and Eddy's Brother makes his appearance in some of them. Kevin, Sarah, Jimmy, and the Kankers are bashed mercilessly.

Already used cameos:

Death Note (Light, Ryuk, L, Teru, Mello, Matt, and Near. Gag Cartoons are different from Anime: The Death Note is useless in the Eds' dimension)

Completed stories:

YuGiOh GX: Anubis's Comeback.

Story ideas pending:

Naru-Gi-Oh:

When Naruto stole the Forbidden Scroll that night, he took a list of the techniques and didn't JUST learn the Shadow Clone Jutsu. However, he unintentionally unsealed a forbidden power AND unlocked his bloodline in the process, so now he's dealing with the only other person that can teach him both Ninjutsu and the Art of Dueling alongside the three Duelist Heroes who live within his mind.

Dueling mentors:

Pharaoh Atem/Yami Yugi;

Jaden Yuki/Supreme King Haou; and

Yusei Fudo.

Jounin Sensei:

Anko Mitarashi (who uses a Harpy Lady/Angel deck with Serpent Night Dragon from a certain Snake Sannin).

Those who can see Duel spirits:

Naruto, Anko, Gaara, Yugito, Kabuto, Orochimaru, Kakashi, Sasuke, Itachi, Madara, and Pein/Nagato.

Harem ideas:

Naruto/Dark Magician Girl/Yubel (female)/Kisara.

Duel Spirit:

Kaibaman (Naruto due to his Blue Eyes).

Ode to a Mentor from the Future:

A Bill and Ted fanfic of the death of Rufus (George Carlin). At his wake, both Bill S. Preston Esq. and Ted "Theodore" Logan used the time machine to attend it in the future and give him a tribute the only way they know how...by rocking out.

YuGiOh Unlimited:

In other words, if both Jaden's era and Yusei's were with the era of Yugi Moto's own. They would STILL keep their respective monsters, but they'll go through the rules of both Duelist Kingdom and Battle City, Nightshroud and 5D's antagonist would be caught in the middle, more arcs, connection between the Shadow Charms and Millennium Items, the Shadow Riders and Rare Hunters joining forces, the Society of Light and DOOM Organization clashing, the Egyptian God Cards meeting the Sacred Beasts, Yugi and Jaden facing off against Yubel, Yusei regaining Stardust Dragon from Kaiba, and a lot of stuff from all three series put together making the story even more confusing.

The parings:

YugiTea;

JoeyMai (even through the Orichalcos arc);

SetoKisara (Egyptian era paring);

AtemMana (implied);

JadenAlexis;

SyrusDMG (seperate from AtemMana);

HaouYubel (Yubel will be female and Haou will be Jaden's Yami, but they'll start out with the relationship that Bakura and Ryou have);

BastionTania (They hooked up during the Yubel Arc);

MarcelBlair (They're around the same age...); and

YuseiAkiza.

Arcs involved:

Duelist Kingdom Arc (It starts with them summoning through traditional Egyptian means);

Virtual Realm Arc 1 (AKA, Saving Seto Kaiba.);

Battle City Arc (While Yugi, Kaiba, and Joey are dealing with the Rare Hunters, Jaden, Chazz, and Yusei are facing off against the Shadow Riders);

Virtual Realm Arc 2 (AKA, the Truth About Kaibacorp);

Alcatraz Tower Arc (Jaden, Chazz, Yusei, and Satorious are the other four competitors in Branch 2. Yusei will fall into a similar unconscious state as Joey would, Chazz and Jaden will face off against each other, Satorious and Jaden will be semi-finalists, and it will end with Egyptian God Cards vs Sacred Beasts, Yugi vs Jaden, Atem vs Haou, Dark Magician vs Neos...you get the idea);

Capsule Monsters Arc (Only 12 episodes...and only a few chapters);

Seal of Orichalcos/Waking the Dragons Arc (The official characters of GX that join would be Zane, Nightshroud, and Haou Jesse and not only would Dartz be after the Pharaoh's soul, but that of the Supreme King's and Yusei's. Jaden has to face off against Yubel, and there would be a connection between Yubel and the Leviathan. Yusei, however, would have to resort to using Stardust Dragon's TRUE form (Stardust Knight) to survive. I AM considering using the three Dragons in future arcs, but it's filler for a reason);

World Championship Arc (Haven't seen this one thoroughly, so I'll have to play it by ear);

Memory Awakening Arc (Atem experiences his memories (which include Haou and Yusei for some odd reason) and all three protagonists and their friends get involved. Might be extended to fit Jaden's own troublesome past);

Deadly Alliance Arc (Bakura and Nightshroud cheated death, so they agree to take out Yugi and Jaden in order to make their rule definite. However, Ruby Carbuncle and Red Eyes Black Chick overhear their plan and warn Jesse and Joey about it. This time, THEY'RE the protagonists, and Kaiba, Jack, and Chazz deal with the other two-thirds of the Princeton Family and their lack of knowledge on Duel Monsters. As for Yusei, he's tracking down their HQ alongside the spirits of the Dark Magician and Yubel in order to free Jaden and Yugi while everyone else confronts their own pasts); and

Armageddon Arc (The misuse of Shadow Magic has created a rift between the Shadow Realm, the Spirit Realm, and the Mortal Realm, and Bakura and Nightshroud happen to be the cause. It's up to Yugi, Jaden, Yusei, Kaiba, Chazz, Jack, Joey, Jesse, and a Dragon Duelist OC to close the rift before Zork returns. Those returning to the plane involve Anubis and the Pyramid of Light, the Avatar of the Orichalcos, the Light of Destruction, Yami Marik, the Big 5, Gozaburo, the original holder of the Millennium Eye, Brron, and most of the Rare Hunters. Other than the heroes involved, everyone else must Duel to Survive Armageddon).

It's a bit of a stretch, but it makes sense in the end. Differences between the few are Jaden will use the cards he has in the Manga, Yusei will be using a regular motorcycle with a red helmet instead of the futuristic Duel Runners, the Three Dragons and the Synchro Dragons are connected, the Sacred Beasts will be in Jaden's deck along with Winged Kuriboh, Yubel, and Neos, the original and 5D's cast will see Duel Spirits, Atem and Haou have a mutual friendship, Kaiba and Jack are business partners, Allister and Akiza know each other during their childhood, Syrus and Mokuba would team up alongside Rebecca, Blair, Ruka, and Luna, Chazz is a little more open than Kaiba, Zane will go back and forth within the boundaries of Light and Darkness, Kaiba gets annoyed with his Duel Spirit, Raphael and Jesse will have similar views on their Duel Monsters, Alexis will face off against Mai with not only her Cyber Blader deck, but with Ice Monsters as well, and Yugi, Jaden, and Yusei will be named the Three Kings instead of just one Game King title.

The 100 Laws of Anime

The laws of Anime is a growing list of physical, universal, and natural phenomenon that seem to appear in various forms in all sorts of anime. The original intent was an effort to classify these incidents into a list of "laws" that explained how Anime physics are different from our own (real?) world. It is our hope that you find them useful to studying Anime, or at the very least, worth a good chuckle.

#1) Law of Metaphysical Irregularity - The normal laws of physics do not apply.

#2) Law of Differential Gravitation - Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborne, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4. Some things have been known to "Float" for a few seconds before plummeting to hit the ground, vehicle, or someone’s cranium.

#3) Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics - In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.

#4) Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion - In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.

#5) Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion - The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves; Armored Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.

#6) Law of Temporal Variability - Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something "cool" or "impressive". Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.

#7) First Law of Temporal Mortality – “Good Guys” and “Bad Guys” both die in one of two ways - either so quick they don’t even see it coming, OR it’s a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down.
Note: Sometimes, Anime heroes or villains never really die! In these rare cases they were a clone or cyborg and the real hero/villain’s suspiciously missing in “Malletspace” or something...

#8) Second Law of Temporal Mortality - It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the “Bad Guys” are killed so quickly they don’t even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.

#9) Law of Dramatic Emphasis - Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white).

#10) Law of Dramatic Multiplicity - Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a “Good Guy” kicks the “Bad Guy” in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles.

#11) Law of Inherent Combustibility - Everything explodes. Everything.
First Corollary: Anything that explodes bulges first.
Second Corollary: Large cities are the most explosive substances known to human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".

#12) Law of Phlogistatic Emission - Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.

#13) Law of Energetic Emission - There is always an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy "bulge") before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustibility.

#14) Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude - The destructive potential of any object/organism is inversely proportional to its mass.
First Corollary: Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also known as the A-Ko phenomenon...

#15) Law of Inexhaustibility - No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and/or unconscious.

#16) Laws of Inverse Accuracy - The accuracy of a “Good Guy” when operating any form of firearm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the “Bad Guys” when operating firearms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases (Also known as the Storm Trooper Effect).
Example: A “Good Guy” in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of “Bad Guys” firing on a “Good Guy” standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss.
First Corollary: The more “Bad Guys” there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage.
Second Corollary: Whenever a “Good Guy” is faced with insurmountable odds, the “Bad Guys” line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape.
Third Corollary: Whenever a “Good Guy” is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated "Good Guy Area", usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the “Good Guy” from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvers.
Fourth Corollary: The more times the “Bad Guy” fires, the fewer times he will hit.

#17) Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability - Minimei is a bimbo. (Note: The Minority Opposition in Ohio disagrees and thinks all men who like this stuff needs to get out more.)

#18) Law of Hemoglobin Capacity - the human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure.

#19) Law of Demonic Consistency - Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown, but black is not unknown, and can only be hurt by bladed weapons. Also, acid has been known to work just as well...

#20) Law of Militaristic Unreliability - Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song.
First Corollary: Whenever a single war machine (mecha, starship, etc.) goes up against an entire army, the army always loses.

#21) Law of Tactical Unreliability- Tactical geniuses aren’t...

#22) Law of Inconsequential Undetectability - People never notice the little things... like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.

#23) Law of Juvenile Intellectuality - Children are smarter than adults. And almost twice as annoying...

#24) Law of Americanthromorphism - Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, either as a really nasty skinny “Bad Guy” or a big stupid “Good Guy”.
First Corollary: The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb Americans are the American translators (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect).
Second Corollary: The only people who are more stupid than the American translators are the American editors and censors (true).
Third Corollary: Canadians are usually portrayed as smart, strong, handsome “Good Guys”.

#25) Law of Mandibular Proportionality - The size of a person’s mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.

#26) Law of Feline Mutation - Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
1) Be female.
2) Will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation.
3) Wear as little clothing as possible, if any (a definite plus).
4) Rare would this apply to male half-cat/half-human mutations (though they exist out there).

#27) Law of Conservation of Firepower - Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used as a last resort.

#28) Law of Technological User-Benevolence - The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.

#29) Law of Melee Luminescence - Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for “Good Guys” and red for “Bad Guys”. This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.

#30) Law of Non-Anthropomorphic Antagonism - All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.

#31) Law of Follicular Chromatic Variability - Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.

#32) Law of Follicular Permanence - Hair in anime is pretty much indestructible, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone’s hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!

#33) Law of Topological Aerodynamics - ANY shape, no matter how convoluted or odd-looking, is automatically aerodynamic.

#34) Law of Probable Attire - Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines: Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off aforementioned female’s clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene). Whenever there is a headwind, Male characters invariably wear long cloaks that don’t hamper movement and billow out dramatically behind them.
First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability): All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.
Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability): Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage.
Third Corollary (Probable Attire permanence): The clothing on the hero is indestructible. Their capes, robes, (and if they are girls,) skirts, dresses, bows, or any loose clothing will just flap when they are in the middle of a fire or ice attack... Unless it's a hentai... it is believed that the clothes are made out of Anime Character hair. (Re. Laws 32 & 48)

#35) Law of Musical Omnipotence - Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc.) is automatically capable of doing much more “simple things”, such examples would be like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on... especially if they’ve never attempted these things before.

#36) Law of Quintupular Agglutination - Also called “The Five-man Rule”, when “Good Guys” group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are:
1) The Hero/Leader
2) His Girlfriend
3) His Best Friend/Rival
4) A Hulking Brute
5) A Dwarf/Kid
Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:
1) Extreme Coolness
2) Amazing Intelligence
3) Incredible Irritation

#37) Law of Extradimensional Capacitance - All anime females have an extradimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment’s notice. This mysterious dimension is commonly called "Malletspace".
First Corollary (also known as The Hammer Rule): The most common item stored is a heavy mallet, costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.

#38) Law of Hydrostatic Emission - Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed, embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.

#39) Law of Inverse Attraction - Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the less you get and vice-versa.
First Corollary: Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real world...

#40) Law of Nasal Sanguination - When sexually aroused, males in Anime don’t get erections (no that occurs in H-manga sometimes), nope, they get nosebleeds. No one’s sure why this is, though... the current theory suggests that larger eyes mean smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see Law #38 above). Females don’t get nosebleeds (though it’s very rare), but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.

#41) Law of Xylolaceration - Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal swords, if not sharper.

#42) Law of Juvenile Omnipotence - Always send a boy to do a man’s job. He’ll get it done in half the time and twice the angst.

#43) Law of Triscaquadrodecophobia - There is no Law #43.

#44) Law of Nominative Clamovocation - The likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced (known as the Kamehameha effect).

#45) Law of Uninterruptable Metamorphosis - Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they’ve seen it before, any “Bad Guys” witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it (unless they’re smart to try an action but then again such an action doesn’t exist much).

#46) Law of Flimsy Incognition - Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.

#47) Law of Mandibular Combustible Emission - All anime characters seem to have some unknown chemical on their breath that reacts VERY violently with extremely hot or spicy food. This chemical may also be responsible for the phenomenon of fire behind the eyes and from the mouth when a character (usually a female) is really angry.

#48) Law of Electrical and Combustible Survivalism - If you get electrocuted or burned, YOU WILL SURVIVE! Though your entire body will be scorched, seconds later, your skin won’t have a trace of damage (Also known as the "Pikachu Effect").
First Corollary: When a magical bad guy/Alien/monster fires off a flame, wind, or ice attack, the resulting effect is only enough for the hero(es)/heroine(s) to be standing in the “Walking Against the Wind” stance, with his/her eyes shut and letting out a pathetic “Aaaaagh!”, and yet they are never harmed. This may be in part to laws 32, 34 and sometimes 44.

#49) Law of Female Wrath - If a male character insults a female character, he will get a mallet, shotgun, or tank blast, or if she is a character that can perform magical feats, a fireball or whatever, to the head, body or whatever (Also known as the "Lina Inverse/Gourry Factor"). This is because he always deserves it, and will help him to cope in today’s society. (Sniff, Sniff)

#50) Law of Artistic Perversion - Most (not all) Anime artists are perverts and are under the impression that girls are willing to tear off their clothes, or wear VERY small, revealing outfits at the drop of a pin (or pen for that matter). Unfortunately, most Hentai fans are under the same impression...

#51) Law of Uninterruptable Nominative Clamovocation - This law is a mixture of Laws 44 and 45. Regardless of how long or involved the Spell or projectile attack is, and the likelihood of success and damage done by the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced, or how many times they’ve seen it before, any “Bad Guys” witnessing a hero/heroine quoting the incantations for an extremely powerful attack are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it. (Also known as the “Dragon Slave Phenomenon”)

#52) Law of Telepathic Obliviousness - Most of the time, some Anime characters (usually males) will think personal (Like that he/she has sabotaged something), or perverted thoughts, while near some other character, WHO’S TELEPATHIC! The reasons for this are:
1) They forgot that the person is telepathic.
2) They just don’t give a damn.
The reasons the telepathic person doesn’t react are:
1) They’re preoccupied with doing something else.
2) They’d rather keep the fact to themselves that they are Telepathic.
3) They just don’t give a damn.

#53) Law of Chromatic Diversity - Air can be any color of the viewable spectrum.

#54) Law of Old Man Comic Relief - Comic relief comes in the form of a short, bald, wise-mouthed dirty old man, alien, or the combination of any two of those traits.
First Corollary: If old man is present, and is acting too horny, stupid, etc., there will invariably be an old woman to whap him over the head with a frying pan or something.

#55) Law of the Wise Old Man - Little old Japanese men always know how it ends and withhold the ending from anyone, especially the hero. This includes special power weapons, ancient relics, and people who know everything.

#56) Law of Omnipotent Unreliability - Any “Bad Guy” with Omnipotent powers/weapons will never use those powers/weapons against the “Good Guy” until it is too late.
First Corollary: All “Bad Guys” suffer from Antagonistic Boasting Syndrome which require all “Bad Guys” to threaten with or exemplify their prowess and not use it against the “Good Guy”.
Second Corollary: No “Bad Guy” may use any new, secret, or superior military device without one of the following events occurring:
a) The control device being broken.
b) The control device being taken by the “Good Guy”.
c) The control device is in fact not the real device at all and was just fooled by the “Good Guy”.
d) The “Bad Guy” has already lost and cannot use the device.

#57) Law of Minimum Corneal Volume - Eyeballs may make up no less than one sixth of the face’s total surface area. More so if the case is a blonde woman...

#58) Law of Electrical Charges in Hair - Hair attracts electricity in abundance, resulting in two outcomes:
a) A positive charge will result in the spikes-flying-everywhere-behind-me look.

b) A negative charge will result in the hair-cascading-down-to-the-waist-in-a-single-sheet look.

#59) Law of Ammunition Accuracy - When there are multiple types of ammunition available (paintballs, speaker pods) non-lethal rounds will always be more accurate when compared to “standard” or “lethal” shots. (Macross Plus for paintballs, Macross 7 for speaker pods)

#60) Law of Active Female Attraction - In a comedy series, a male character’s attractiveness to women is inversely proportional to how active they pursue them. (Tenchi, Ranma, and Makoto OVA have a seemingly endless supply of willing girlfriends despite their lack of romantic skill while Happosai, Ataru, and Carrot couldn’t get a date despite or because of their constant attempts.)

#61) Law of Sweat Pore Variability - When a person is embarrassed, caught in an awkward situation, or otherwise humiliated, all sweat pores on the body contract, except for ones on the forehead. These pores expand to such a degree that a single drop could fill a Big Gulp from a 7-11 shop.

#62) The Law of Inverse Training Time - A person who has been training for 3 years is never as good as someone who has been training for one month.

#63) Law of Needs to Few and Many - The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the few... of even the one.

#64) Law of Bad Humor - Whenever someone says something that is intended to be funny, whether actually funny or not, the rest of the characters (even animals) fall to the ground with their feet in the air. Sweat sometimes accompanies the fall. (The sound of a cow mooing usually accompanies the joke as well.)

#65) Law of Extreme Anger - Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing the male character with another girl, she becomes extremely strong (despite her usually helpless look) so that she can lift a 1000 ton object to hurt the guy. She can sometimes perform other punishments that are just as cruel such as pinching the guy’s face so hard that it changes shape (see law #49).

#66) Law of Differentiated Gravitation - The following occur:
First Corollary: If the airborne entity exceeds an altitude equal or greater than two times the height of the entity, gravity is decreased by an inverse coefficient relative to the upward momentum and mass/weight (if within at least 500 km of any gravity source) of the entity “jumping”.
Second Corollary” The amount of Newtonian "opposite force" (in accordance to normal downward velocity; "Earth gravity" speed is equal to 32ft/sec/sec) is also inversely proportional to the "actual" speed of the airborne entity. In all actuality, an entity that appears to be flying towards a solid concrete parking lot from space will actually land, producing an opposite force of approximately 1.73 lb. of pressure. Unless this particular entity is a “Bad Guy”. Then the law exhibits a mysterious exponentially proportional Newtonian opposite force, thusly increasing this variable by a factor equal to the inverse-gravity potential.

#67) Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension - In any situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases, the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient must be increased by a proportional amount to compensate. In any situation where this does not happen, the “Bad Guy” inevitably comes out on top. However, this usually leads to a further rise in the Ambient Dramatic tension, which will always be offset by an exponential increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient.

#68) Law of Coercive Vehicular Control - No matter how complex or well defined the control system, a character controlling a vehicle of any sort always does so through means of undetectable subconscious psychokinesis.
First Corollary: Characters can perform actions with their vehicles which clearly defy normal physics (see Laws of Metaphysical Irregularity and Constant Thrust). The velocity, attitude and traction of the vehicle appear to be adjusted at will, with the degree of absolute control being proportional to the complexity and lethality of the maneuver.
Second Corollary: It is effectively impossible to remove characters from or disrupt the passage of their vehicles without the character’s consent. This does not always apply to “Bad Guy” characters, or “Good Guy” characters in situations where the Ambient Dramatic Tension could increase in accordance with the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension.

#69) Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension - In any situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases without a corresponding increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient, not only does the “Bad Guy” usually come out on top, but also his Smugness Factor increases in proportion to the rise in Ambient Dramatic Tension.

#70) Law of The Rushing Background Effect - Whenever something dramatic occurs, a survival instinct engages, thus rendering all incoming stimulus that is not directly and immediately to the dramatic situation at hand a meaningless blur. This is often referred to as "The Rushing Background Effect". Due to the increase in brain activity and adrenaline levels in the bloodstream, the scene is often played out in slow motion.

#71) Law of Interdimensional Hammers - Whenever a female character witnesses a male character of her preference performing any sort of questionable act (i.e. Looking at another girl or anything she might construe as perverted) she can reach into an interdimensional realm (usually behind her back) and withdraw a huge Anime Mallet of Doom with which to whack the said male over the head with. (See Laws # 37, 49, and 65)

#72) Law of Instant Band-Aids - Whenever a character is injured (usually in a head shot, maybe from a mallet whack) Band-Aids will always instantly appear on the wounded individual (and always in pairs, set in a cross fashion). These bandages will then, most likely, disappear by the character’s next scene.

#73) Law of Universal Edge Defense - Any projectile attack, from a blast of magic to a hail of bullets, can be easily defended against by holding a suitably cool-looking sword or other bladed weapon between the attacker and defender, usually so that the edge cuts into the incoming attack(s), causing both halves to go flying harmlessly past the defender (Observed most often in fantasy and martial arts anime).

#74) Law of Intractable Sanity - There is no such thing as insanity in anime. When faced with horrifying supernatural forces that would drive most men mad, anime characters will either:
a) Die quickly (but in accordance with all other laws e.g., slowdown and exposition)
b) Get possessed by them, especially if they are beautiful girls or men in a position to ravish beautiful girls, or...
c) Kill them, wipe the blood off their blades, and walk on whistling.

#75) Law of Celestial Body Control - At a dramatically correct moment, a hero can summon a sun/moon/halo to appear behind him/her to cause a dramatic silhouette.

#76) Law of Aura of Forgetfulness - Any hero who wishes his/her identity to remain a secret will invariably succeed regardless of disguise because everyone around him/her will forget everything. Otherwise, how does Sailor Moon keep her disguise?

#77) Law of Cool Hair Factor - The hair of a hero will always coalesce into thick strands that drape his face into a dramatic fashion, regardless of wind, the elements, etc. (see Laws 32 & 48)

#78) Law of Inverse Coping - Any single event will happen to the ONE character LEAST capable of dealing with it.

#79) Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability - The Myth that certain martial arts will enable you to become so strong, that you can stop a nuclear warhead with your bare palm. Unfortunately, for most otaku, they found the hard way that it just doesn’t work in real life...

#80) Law of Stereotype Captain characteristics - If a captain of any type of ship is male, he will invariably wear a big captain’s cap, a long overcoat, and have a shaggy beard and mustache (pipe optional), and be a great tactician. If the captain is female, however, she will invariably be young, well endowed, and ditzy as a pole (horny father optional). Yet, she too will be a great tactician.

#81) Law of Shades/Coolness Factor - Shades can make you instantly cool, even if you’re normally a klutz.

#82) Law of Hentai Plot - The proper response to any change in the plotline of a Hentai anime is to start having sex.

#83) Law of Understatement - Anything that is deemed too impossible will become possible.
First Corollary: Any “Bad Guy” stating "T-that’s impossible!" whenever the hero is accomplishing some new feat/move/projectile will find out too late that he is wrong and will invariably be toasted.

#84) Law of Dormant Powers - Anytime a hero is somehow out powered and/or outclassed by the villain, he will invariably release powers/new moves he never knew he could accomplish... but his old teacher did!

#85) Law of Style Coefficient - In a situation where a Good guy may be in dire straits, he will become stronger, smarter and more cool in a matter of seconds. (See Laws #67, 69, and 84)

#86) Law of Bad Guy Smugness Factor - Whenever the villain actually succeeds in beating the hero, they will begin to gloat uncontrollably, because they’ve never won against the “Good Guy” because they’re EVIL! They usually get so cocky they tie the hero to a conveyor belt leading to his doom and leave to get a snack. Usually this results in:
a) The hero escaping.
b) Clean-up for the underlings.
c) The villain getting toasted.

#87) Law of Tableware Nonexistence - There IS no spoon.

#88) Law of Goofy Turn-Ons - In Hentai, ordinary pedestrian objects sometimes have the magical power of either inducing orgasm or arousal. Some include warm water, rolling on a smooth tabletop, wind, mild electrocution, the character toweling themselves after a bath/shower, and very cold objects... like bottles of 7-up.

#89) Law of Penile Variance - All Anime men in Hentai have a ridiculously large penis (lengths of 8, 9, 10 and 11 inches are most common). Some even have ones the size of telephone poles, despite the blood loss that would accompany it...

#90) Law of Hentai Female Characteristics - All Hentai women have the following characteristics:
1) Very sensitive and/or very large breasts with large nipples.
2) Very tight and/or sensitive vaginas.

#91) Law of Vaginal Variance - Hentai Anime women can take penis lengths of 8" and up... completely... despite the fact that they might have a tight and/or sensitive vagina.

#92) Law of Hero Identification - All heroes are introduced by way of appearance while someone talking about their (in)famous-ness, or by way of a voice-over of them introducing themselves.

#93) Law of Cute Mascots - Any anime either Shojo or Shonen has GOT to have at least one cute, furry little mascot by penalty of death!
First Corollary: If it is a Shonen Anime, the hero will be accompanied by a Dog, Cat or any kind of animal, real or fake, which would be found with a hero of the male persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with girls that is following him around is there because:
1) It’s his girlfriend’s.
2) It is following him, despite his insistence not to do so.
3) Chicks will dig him more.
Second Corollary- If it is a Shojo Anime, the heroine will be accompanied by a cat, cute lil’ mouse, or some disgustingly cute monster, or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the female persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with guys that is following her around is there because:
1) It’s her boyfriend’s.
2) It is following her, despite her insistence not to do so.
3) It makes her look cool.

#94) Law of The Force - Most Anime heroes are blessed with a unique sort of ability that enables bad things to happen to those that deserve it or makes things like bullets or debris totally miss them (Also referred to as "Dumb Luck"), even though they are mostly unaware of it. Those who have this ability include Vash the Stampede, Captain Justy Ueki Tylor, and Jar Jar Binks.

#95) Law of Naughty Tentacles - All Anime Tentacles are VERY horny and will rape any human female, regardless of age ("She’s 18! No! Really, she is! I’m not lying!...")
First Corollary: Even when raped or molested by tentacles, Hentai Anime girls eventually get into it & begin squealing in ecstasy. NO one knows WHY this is, but some theorize there may be some kind of chemical that is secreted through the skin of the tentacle...
Second Corollary: Women who are impregnated by a tentacle creature never experience morning sickness, and also find it to be intensely pleasurable (Also known as the Goofy Meter Redline Effect).
Third Corollary: Similarly, the resulting... offspring of tentacle/human relations is immediately sexually active, often impregnating its own mother again.

#96) Law of Cat-Fighting- Two females with a grudge can and will go at each other, sometimes ripping off clothes. Sometimes it escalates so much, that property damage begins to occur.
First Corollary: A running fight can be so destructive, you can follow it from a distance just by watching for the smoke. (Also known as the "A-ko/B-ko Thing")

#97) Law of Healing - Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor that enables them to regenerate from a massive wound or broken bone within minutes. Being immortal sometimes helps. (Also known as the "Priss Effect")

#98) Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics - All ships, either waterborne or spaceborne, has the following crew members:
1) The captain
2) His Lieutenant
3) Various female technical staff
4) A hotshot pilot
5) A cute little girl/twins (either stowaways or not)
6) The Doctor
7) The Doctor’s assistant (either a spy or not)
Weighted among the crew are various quirks which include:
1) Extreme coolness/luck
2) Amazing Intelligence
3) Incredible irritation
4) Extreme cuteness
5) Irresponsible drunkenness
6) Homophobic-ness
7) Emotionless (Uchiha Sasuke would be counted in this position.)

#99) Law of Sparkles - Whenever a character of the main character’s interest appears, flowers, sparkles, or abstract circles of pastel colors appear around said character, or both. Roses with exaggerated thorns appear when it is dangerous love. No one knows why this is, though most have a theory: Anime characters are freaks! At least, Marker Apenname seems to think so...

#100) Law of Anime Events - Much like the WWE (and other forms of Pro Wrestling), anything and everything can happen.

This was created by Insane Advocate and his two friends, as well as gatherings from various internet sources in order to help others understand the things that happen in anime (and manga). And so, to help others understand anime, after you have read this, if you wish you may copy and paste this to your profile. Thank you.