Author Note: I own nothing in this universe other than the ability to play with the characters I love so much.

This fic is cross-posted on AO3.

Chapter One: Sanitatem

The appointment had been scheduled for 6:30 in the evening on Friday.

It was the most convenient, and it was the first available appointment that could be obtained. She arrived first, approximately fifteen minutes before the scheduled appointment, taking off her double breasted peacoat and folding it over the arm of the couch in the waiting room. She leaned back on the familiar beige cushions, looking at the equally familiar green walls.

Various psychology magazines were neatly arranged on the coffee table in front of her as she eyed one of the article titles with scrutiny. Healing from Childhood Trauma. She had to repress a laugh, there was no healing from childhood trauma, she shook her head, it was a matter of learning coping mechanisms to not succumb to complete and total paralysis, but never completely healing.

She sighed as she reached into her bag and pulled out her cell phone, scrolling through her e-mails before she would have to turn off her phone for the hour-long session they had agreed upon. It was an amazing thing when he agreed to come to this session, and she was beginning to wonder why he had agreed to it. Until she received a text from Kathleen Stabler. It was a simple text, but it explained everything to her and made her chuckle all the same. It had read: Liv, dad told me you asked him to go to counseling with you –I told him that if he didn't do this for us and for you…we were going to disown him.

So there it was, Elliot Stabler's second-born daughter was on her side. She really shouldn't be surprised though, she always loved Kathleen the most – not that she'd ever tell any of the other children. Even though Eli was always special in her book because of his entrance into the world, it was Kathleen that she had interacted with the most.

It was in the middle of this thought that the door to the waiting room opened and she looked up, brown eyes met blue and the entire energy in the room changed. He pursed his lips nodding at her and taking a seat on the chair next to the door, but not before flipping the back of his jacket up as he sat down so it didn't pull. She put her phone back in her bag and leaned forward, her arms on her knees as he crossed his ankle over his knee, resting his head against his index and middle finger.

"I'm glad you're here." She spoke, her voice shaking just ever-so-slightly.

He took note of this small waiver of her tone and nodded, not speaking yet. He was only here because she asked…and because his children were conspiring against him with her. He felt like they were almost choosing her over him, lately. Ever since the catastrophe of an intervention. He didn't want to talk about that – and he was nervous that if it came up in the room…well, he wasn't quite sure what to do about that.

"Look, Olivia, I'm here because you asked me to do this. And if it helps us to fix whatever this…" he motioned between the two of them, "is now…then, I'm willing to try."

"Good." She answered, nodding as the door to the office opened and Dr. Lindstrom appeared.

"Olivia, it's good to see you again." He turned toward Elliot, "And this must be Elliot Stabler."

"Detective Stabler." Elliot corrected, and Lindstrom surveyed the man with his hawkish eyes.

"Detective Stabler." Lindstrom amended, stepping to the side and motioning to the office with his hand. "Please, come in."

Elliot was the first up and into the room, and Olivia followed after him, placing her coat on the middle cushion of the sleek black couch in the office, her purse on top of it. Elliot removed his outer jacket and placed his next to her own on the middle cushion. They each took a seat at opposite ends of the couch and watched as Lindstrom took his seat in the chair across from them behind the glass coffee table. The office was cozy, Elliot had to admit it to himself, more like a library that had been converted into a therapy space. Thankfully, the walls were a warm grey color instead of the offending green that the waiting area had been.

"So, what brings you both here today?"

Olivia had made herself quite comfortable on her end of the couch, with her leg tucked underneath her, and she was leaning on her right fist, surveying her old partner. Elliot was seated with his arms on his knees, now mimicking the position that Olivia had been holding in the waiting room, but his body was turned toward their jackets and her.

"Obviously, we have issues." Elliot mumbled incoherently. Olivia rolled her eyes as she took a deep breath. Lindstrom was watching the body language between the two, who were maintaining eye contact as though he wasn't even present at all.

"That's an understatement, Elliot." Olivia bit back. "He's going through a lot right now and has no clue the impact of his actions on the people closest to him – his wife just died, and he's hell bent on solving the case himself…not to mention he has PTSD and seems to think that he's managing it just fine. "

"I am managing it just fine, Liv."

"Like hell you are." She answered, her nostrils flaring slightly. Lindstrom was actually intrigued at this back-and-forth banter. But also was noticing the energy between the two of them, it was palpable.

"Olivia, I appreciate your candor with Elliot, however, if what you said is true, then perhaps we can start over and be a little more patient? Tell me a little background about your relationship."

Olivia sighed at this, "It's a long story. We'd have to go back twenty-two years."

Lindstrom blanched at this. He suddenly looked over at Elliot who was smirking, probably thinking back to the day that they met. His eyes roamed back over to Olivia and he couldn't help but wonder why she had never mentioned Elliot in previous sessions. He was pretty sure that she hadn't mentioned him but he would have to go back through his notes just to make sure. "Oh?"

"Yeah, when I came up from being a uni, I was assigned to Special Victims – I've told you the story before, so you know all of that, but I was assigned this detective who was hot-headed and had gone through four partners in the course of seven years." Olivia was speaking quietly, and not as confidently as Lindstrom had been used to seeing her be. "So, they assigned me to him, and hoped for the best." She shrugged, as though she was dismissing the whole thing. Elliot was still looking at her, smirking.

"The first case we had was this taxi driver who had his dick cut off." Elliot spoke almost fondly of the case, and Lindstrom had to shift a little in his seat, the sheer audacity of these Special Victims' detectives to cut straight to the point on topics that other people would dance around was almost unreal.

"Elliot." Olivia whispered, her voice was almost admonishing him for speaking the way had had just spoken. Lindstrom watched the two of them, observing.

"So, I was stuck with this spunky detective who wanted to save the entire world – " Elliot answered, the ghost of his smile still lingering. Olivia took a deep breath.

"How long did you work together?" Lindstrom asked. Olivia was the one to respond, not even bothering to look over at him. If he didn't know any better, he would think that they were the only two in the room, and he was just an invisible voice urging them to speak.

"We were partners for twelve years." Elliot answered, "She had my back, looked out for me, made sure I always went home to my family. She knew how important it was to me."

Interesting. Lindstrom thought, twelve years – most marriages didn't even last that long.

"He knew everything there was to know about me. We had been sent to counseling a few times in those twelve years, however. Because they were worried that we were too close. We'd been involved in quite a few situations that were close calls, and the brass always thought there was something more to us than just partners." Olivia echoed, shaking her head as though she was hurt by these accusations.

"Was there?" Lindstrom asked. He regretted this almost immediately. Olivia's brown eyes snapped to his at the same time Elliot's blue eyes and they answered in unison.

"I was married. She was my partner."

"He was married. He was my partner."

Holy shit. How could two people be in such synch with one another and yet so out-of-synch.

"He was my partner for twelve years, until he just disappeared." Olivia's eyes had found Elliot's again, and they had each re-situated on the couch so that they were slightly closer to the middle cushion, their jackets now rested against each of their knees. "He's my abandonment issue." She pointed her index and pointer finger at him.

"Why did you leave?" Lindstrom turned toward Elliot who sighed.

"I had to." Was all he said, his jaw was clenched and he had started to shake his head now, as though telling Olivia not to go there.

"Yeah, Elliot. Please, enlighten us as to why you left."

Elliot said nothing, but stood up and started pacing behind the couch, Olivia watched him, her eyes flashing dangerously from the couch.

"I told you why, in the letter, Olivia."

"What letter?" Lindstrom asked, curious, because Olivia hadn't mentioned anything.

"The letter he gave me after he came back without telling me he was back, and told me I could read it, not read it, throw it out." She answered. "And I did, by the way, read it." She reached in the bag and pulled out the letter which looked like it was worse for wear, folded, and unfolded a million times. "I've read it multiple times."

Elliot sighed, stopping behind where she was seated on the couch, he was looking down at her with his ocean blue eyes and she was looking up at him, daring him almost to do something, say something to the contrary.

"What was in the letter?" Lindstrom asked, feeling a little out of the loop because there it was, in front of him, and they both knew what was in there.

"It doesn't matter." Elliot answered, shaking his head at Olivia. "It doesn't matter because it's in the past."

"Like hell it is, do you know what this utter jackass has done since he got back?" Olivia asked, turning away from Elliot and meeting Lindstrom's eyes for the first time. "He's gotten the shit beat out of him, he's been in a car accident, he's practically thrown himself at his target's ex-wife," she turned back to Elliot meeting his panicked looking face, "Yes, Elliot, I know all about Angela. I'm not fucking stupid and Your sergeant and I are pretty close." She hissed, "He told me I mean the world to him, and then told me he fucking loved me. He said 'I love you' to me like it was going to fix whatever the fuck he hasn't been there for over the past ten years. Like he could erase the abandonment and lack of support after Lew-" She stopped right there, realizing the territory she was crossing into. She shook her head and turned back to Lindstrom.

"There's nothing going on with Angela." Elliot defended himself. "I'm not trying to fix the past, Olivia, it happened. I'm trying to move forward, from this moment – but I don't want you in Wheatley's crossfire."

"You'd think that the man who knew me so well would know that I don't back down, wouldn't you? The fact that the brass is telling me to keep my distance from Elliot, and all I keep doing is finding myself in his vicinity."

"I didn't ask you to be around."

"I don't have a choice." She echoed a similar response to the one she had given all those years ago when he had told her she could walk away. Lindstrom was starting to piece things together watching these two interact. They really were in love with one another. "You're still the longest fucking relationship I've ever had with a man, Elliot. And I've never -"

"What about Noah's dad?" Elliot stupidly asked.

"He's adopted." Olivia answered, shaking her head.

"What about the stable relationship Fin mentioned?" Elliot asked, sensing that this was probably the only time that she was going to be dead honest with him. Lindstrom knew where this was headed, and he wanted to take a sharp left before it derailed.

"God. You're an ass." Olivia turned and met Lindstrom's eyes again. Lindstrom didn't know when she had stood up but they were both standing behind the couch, inches from one another's face and their eyes were taking each other in.

"Olivia, Elliot, why don't you take a seat?" Lindstrom urged, feeling awkward. Olivia took a seat in the chair next to Lindstrom now, and Elliot took up the section of the couch that Olivia had vacated. They were now sitting across from each other. If this is how they interacted with one another at work, he felt sorry for their previous Captain when they went at one another.

"Let's try something else. Why don't you tell each other what you really think about one another?" Lindstrom suggested, looking between the two of them – who had now locked gazes and their breathing was coming out in shallow gasps. If they were ever going to have a real relationship, it would be intense. Lindstrom was sure of this.

Olivia bit her bottom lip, lost in thought. "He's a brilliant detective – compassionate, smart, good with victims and children. He's an excellent father, a great friend when he's present - but he's also a complete and total asshole." She finished.

Elliot looked pleased with himself that his former partner had said such nice things about him. "She's fantastic in every single way."

Smitten. Lindstrom shook his head, his head hurt.

"Alright, now what do you want to get out of this?" Lindstrom asked, a loaded question.

Olivia suddenly turned and looked at the doctor, he knew he was going to hear this later.

"I want her." Elliot answered, shocking both the doctor and Olivia. "I want her to realize that it's always been her. She was the reason I had to leave, the reason I had to come back – it's her."

"What the hell?" Olivia asked.

"I sat in that car for twelve years, married with children – and she only ever looked out for my family, as though they were her family – and they became her family. Even now, my kids are choosing her over me. Their mother just died, and they're reaching out for her. They know she anchors me to reality." Lindstrom was looking at Olivia whose eyes had suddenly widened. Her breath was starting to hitch as she watched Elliot actually talking about this. And she flashed back to a case she had worked after he left.

You spent years in that car, hoping that one day he would look over at you and realize you were the one woman he couldn't live without.

"Olivia, when I told you the other day that you meant the world to me, I meant it. I don't think I can do any of this without you anymore."

She shook her head and looked panicked between the doctor and Elliot. Lindstrom was suddenly speechless. He looked at the clock.

"Well, it looks like our session has come to an end. It was productive, right Olivia?"

Olivia was speechless and confused as Elliot put his jacket back on. "Thanks, Dr. Lindstrom." Elliot reached his hand out and shook the doctor's hand. Smirking, as he walked out. Olivia sat in the chair, frozen and suddenly wishing she could find firm ground to stand on.