WARNING: brief description of being electrocuted in the latter half of the chapter
Chapter 8 Return of the Puppet
"Do you confess?"
Thoma gulps, his eyes looking anywhere but his kidnappers.
"W-What do you mean? Confess what?"
"Don't play dumb. We know you know."
"...You know I know what?"
His kidnapper sighs. "Look here, we're not letting you out of there until you confess your feelings for Ei."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"There's no point acting oblivious, Thoma. I've known you for so long and even I never got fed personally by you when I was sick. And you want us to believe you don't have a crush on the Raiden Shogun?"
Thoma's shoulders sag. "Can we stop this already, guys? You don't need to lock me in here just to ask me a question."
Paimon does an evil laugh. "Mwahaha, this is payback for making Paimon eat those little cakes Ayaka brought once again!"
Ayaka blushes and looks away. "W-Well, you also brought weird things so I just followed your footsteps."
Aether smirks. "Bold of you to assume we didn't catch you cheating back there. Perhaps you should try eating a pinecone next time."
Thoma sighs with his head bowed. Aether's stone pillar would have had more space inside if he hadn't constructed it at an odd angle so the tiny space it creates can barely fit a teenager let alone a grownass adult. He's forced to kneel on the tatami with his back hunched over and chin tucked into his chest. The sharp edges of the glowing Geo crystal inside scrapes against his back with every swivel, not deep enough to injure him but still causes him discomfort.
What did he do to deserve this cruel treatment from people he considers his friends?
"Okay, I apologize for cheating. But after seeing how much pain the mist flower corolla caused her, don't you think a little cheating is acceptable if we can prevent that?"
"It's just a game, Thoma." Paimon shrugs. "You're the one who came up with it and she agreed to participate knowing the risk."
"She agreed but unlike us who have already played it and know what to expect, she has no idea. I'd like to see you eat a mist flower corolla and tell me you wouldn't be grateful if it can be prevented." Paimon's blatant display of apathy makes his blood boil and he can't help but raise his voice in annoyance. Her indifference isn't even directed at him, but he feels betrayed and hurt in the Shogun's stead. That scene is something he'd never forget and hopes he'd never have to see again.
Beads of sweat slide down the Almighty Shogun's forehead as wet strands of hair plaster against her cheeks. She bites onto her lips to not let out any noises, leaving teeth marks on her reddened lower lip. And when she's caught off guard, each whimper of pure agony that escapes her feels like a stab in the heart. He had wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms and whisper words of comfort in her ears. He knew it was a bad idea to let her eat those devilish ingredients. He fucking knew it. Yet, he watched her eat it without doing a single thing and ended up putting his Archon, the subject of his affection, through unwarranted suffering…
Ayaka giggles, then Aether and Paimon burst out laughing.
"What? Why are you laughing?"
"Oh Thoma," Ayaka's shoulders shake with uncontrollable laughter. "You're getting all mad and defensive over the Raiden Shogun and you still say you don't like her."
"It's the first time Paimon sees you work up over something! You're always so laid back and chill, like Childe!"
"Like a what now?"
"I think that counts as a confession," Aether declares rather than answering his question. "It's painfully obvious you've fallen for her hard."
"Bravo, you're right I do have a crush on her. Can you let me out now? Please?" Exasperation leaks out of his voice when his friends make no move to let him out. The position is straining his back, and the sharp edges of the Geo crystal are starting to cut into his jacket.
"Sure, after you answer my question," Aether says with a smirk, thoroughly enjoying this at Thoma's expense. What a great friend he is. "What are you planning to do with your crush?"
Thoma sighs, his forehead hitting the stone pillar. "I'm not going to do anything."
"Why?"
"She's my Archon, that's why."
"So does that mean I'm free to date her since she's not my Archon?" Thoma's face falls. "The distance between gods and humans is shorter than you think. At the end of the day, they aren't that much different from us. We're all living beings trying to survive in this world."
"That's right!" Paimon nods. "Sure the Archons can live longer than humans do and they're rulers of their own countries, but that doesn't mean they want their people to worship the ground they walk on. The Raiden Shogun is the only one who acts remotely Archon-like out of all the Archons we've met. Did you know Barbatos nearly got kicked out of his own city once cause he slept on the streets drunk and half-naked? And did you know Rex Lapis got yelled at cause he couldn't pay for his meal and ended up needing a Fatui Harbinger to pay for him?"
"At the end of the day, the Archons are as human as we are. They can be addicted to alcohol, they can forget to bring money, and they can also fall in love. If they're not allowed to date a mortal, then who can they date? Other Archons? Or other immortal beings? Doesn't that seem too stringent?" Aether kneels down to be on eye level with Thoma. "The Archons took on human forms so they could be closer to their people. Ei also leaves the Tenshukaku more often now because she wants to understand her people better. So if you were to confess, I doubt her immediate reaction would be to punish you for committing blasphemy."
"Even so, what's the point of confessing if I know I'm gonna get rejected?"
"What's the point of living if you know you're gonna die anyway?" Paimon fires back.
"That's not how it works." Thoma sweat-drops. The fierce determination on their faces tells him he's not getting out of here today without giving in to their demand. "Fine, I'll...consider it."
The three exchange glances.
"That's good enough, I suppose." Aether waves his hand and the stone pillar shatters.
Thoma stands up and stretches, shuddering at the satisfying sensation of his joints cracking. He's a man of his words. No matter how much he detests the idea, he will consider it as promised. But as for whether or not he'll confess… He'll see about that.
The next time he meets the Raiden Shogun is at Yae Publishing House. She has already finished the last volume of the series Ayaka lent her so she's probably here to find a new one to read. A distance away stands two shogunate soldiers keeping an eye out for her safety.
She has a book in her hand when he gets close enough to greet her.
"Have you read this one before?" She asks him as she shows him the book title. "Reincarnated as Sasayuri and now I'm trying my best not to die" it reads. The book cover shows a drawing of the Shogun and a man who he assumed is supposed to be Sasayuri, courtesy of a Mister Albedo once again.
All Thoma knows is that Sasayuri was an esteemed tengu general who served the Raiden Shogun and died during the civil war with the people of Orobashi from Watatsumi Island. There isn't much information in history books to go off of, but with the way the Shogun is staring at the drawing of Sasayuri on the cover, he wonders if the general is perhaps someone important to her.
"I haven't," Thoma replies honestly. "But I heard it's a love story between the reincarnated protagonist in Sasayuri's body and...you."
Upon hearing that, the Shogun lets out a quiet laugh. "Mortals' imagination never ceases to amaze me." She rubs her thumb across the cover almost as if she's caressing the drawing of Sasayuri and Thoma ends up asking the question he's been pondering about for the last few days before he can stop himself.
"What do you think about love?"
"Love?" The Shogun looks up from the book, her eyes slightly widening. "It's funny how you're the one who asks me this."
Thoma stiffens.
"Love… It's the one thing we dread. For humans, falling in love and marrying your significant other is the epitome of a propitious life. But since we Archons can live forever, we're bound to be heartbroken if we have the misfortune to fall in love. Eternal suffering over the loss of a loved one isn't a risk we're willing to take in exchange for a few dozen years of happiness."
Everything Thoma has been worried about for the past few days vanishes in an instant upon hearing her words. The spark of hope that has been lit by Ayaka, doused by Yurika, then reignited by Aether and Paimon is at long last extinguished by the one person whose words matters the most. All his hope and anxiety are washed away, leaving behind an empty heart and listless eyes.
Finally, he can stop his wishful thinking and give up on her. It's what he should have done the moment he heard Yurika's advice. The Shogun is an Archon for gods' sake. Even if Archons can fall in love like Aether said, it doesn't mean they would want to. The answer is obvious if he had put himself in the Shogun's shoes from the very beginning. Who in their right mind would willingly sentence themselves to perpetual agony? Love isn't worth it; no one is worth this risk.
If only Thoma hadn't been so selfish and only thought about his own happiness, he would have realized sooner what falling in love with a mortal means to the Almighty Shogun.
And maybe then, he wouldn't need the Shogun to personally crush his hopes for him.
Seeing Thoma's vibrant gaze lose its shine fills Ei's heart with guilt. That hopeless look doesn't belong on his face. He's someone who's always so dazzling like the first ray of sunshine after a thunderstorm. He of all people deserves a life full of merriment with the person he loves.
So how come he looks like his whole life is crashing down on him? Like all hope is lost and the one thing he wants the most has slipped from his grasp?
The same look Ei had when her friends died.
"I-If that's the case…" Thoma says after a brief pause. "How come you're willing to befriend us? Isn't it just as painful to lose your friends than your loved ones?"
Friends…
He's right.
How come she's willing to befriend them despite knowing the pain of losing her friends is no less than losing her loved ones?
Makoto, Chiyo, Saiguu, Sasayuri…
His face has been obscure in her mind for as long as she can remember, but this drawing which looks nothing like him somehow manages to clear the fog and allow her to see his face clearly for the first time in centuries. And along with him, memories of Saiguu and Chiyo surge forth like high tides during a storm. They were both her precious friends, and their death was just as impactful as Makoto and Sasayuri's.
Ei knows better than anyone that love isn't the only thing she should stay away from, so how come she allowed herself to fall for the temptation of making friends once again? Are the deaths of Saiguu and Chiyo not enough for her? Would she finally learn after Thoma and the others die before her very eyes? Is that what it takes for her to learn her lesson?
The sudden realization and reminiscence of the past bring forth a strong desire to withdraw, so strong that Ei finds herself in a world of red sky that seems to stretch on for an eternity and countless shrine gates planted into the ashen ground unevenly.
Floating in midair, Ei hugs her knees to her chest and buries her face into the space in between. For the first time in centuries, the tears that were long gone prickle her eyes once again and she weeps silently in the safety of her own mind.
Thoma doesn't realize the significance of his words until they're already spoken. The eerie silence that results from his lack of brain-to-mouth filter is nerve-wrecking, but that frosty look in the Shogun's eyes is even harder to withstand.
"Shit, I didn't mean to say that. Sorry. What I meant was-"
"Shit?" The Shogun lifts an eyebrow, the corners of her mouth tilting down into a frown. "It seems you are just as uncouth as ever. I see you have not learned your lesson at all."
The sky darkens as gray clouds loom over them, lightning cackling and thunder roaring. And as Thoma watches in disbelief, a strike of thunder descends upon him and he barely has enough time to guard his head before it hits his bare arm. All of a sudden, he can't see, talk, feel or move at all. His body goes rigid, like it has been turned into stone. Pain comes in waves, with the force of a thousand boars slamming into him simultaneously from all directions, except it doesn't stop. It just keeps going, and at some point he realizes he can't even tell whether he's still breathing or not. He feels no pressure building in his lungs, no stabbing, burning sensation in his eyes. The bone-crushing agony is all he can register, along with the pain of betrayal that the Raiden Shogun, that Ei, would do something like this to him.
After what feels like forever, the pain is finally lifted and his eardrums are assaulted with noises. The ground is inches away from his eyes though he has absolutely no memory of falling. His throat feels hoarse, like he has been screaming for hours. His muscles feel strained and cramped like they would after a good workout, though this isn't the type of pain he would usually look forward to. His heart is beating too fast but he doesn't feel out of breath, strangely enough.
"Get him up."
Thoma flinches, barely managing to hold in his cry of pain when the patch of burned skin on his bare arm comes into contact with a rough hand. He's lifted off of the ground abruptly and forced onto his feet, swaying a little and almost faceplanting if not for the Shogunate soldier holding him up.
"Be thankful I did not punish you any further for your rudeness. Next time, I will strike twice." The Raiden Shogun's lifeless eyes are filled with contempt—something Thoma has never seen in Ei's eyes before—and it's at this moment that he realizes his offhanded question must have upsetted her and caused her to return to her cold, Shogun mode.
The Almighty Shogun turns with a flourish and leaves with her soldiers in tow. It's not until she's completely gone does Kuroda rush to his aid.
The Electro residue under his skin sends a pulse of pain every few seconds, but what hurts more is the realization that the Ei he knows is gone and he's severed their growing friendship with his very own hands.
AN: Reviews are appreciated! See you next Saturday!