Summary: Nothing to see here. Just your weekly dose of hurt!Thoma :D
AN: Can you believe we're at 20k words already? I originally planned for this story to be a one-shot, and look where I am now.
WARNING: violence, nonexplicit torture (kept PG)
Chapter 9 Giving up
When Thoma shows up before Ayaka with a strained smile on his face and his arm covered in burns, she already has a team ready and ushers them to give him urgent medical care. For someone with a Pyro Vision, it's not the first time he gets burned and certainly won't be the last. The Electro residue in his body is easily cleared by summoning his Pyro shield, and the burn on his arm will probably heal within a month. It's not as severe as it looks, but both Ayaka and Ayato insist he stay in bed for at least a week before he's even allowed to do the bare minimum work required of his role.
Two weeks later, Thoma finally returns to his normal schedule. Everyone has heard of the incident by now and everywhere he goes people would look at him with sympathy. He can imagine what they must be thinking: "Remember the guy who was on good terms with the Shogun? Turns out she was just toying with him this whole time."
Aether and Paimon visit him one day and cook him various Mondstadt dishes, saying how these might make him feel better. Noticing their arrival, Ayaka joins in and makes her signature dish for Thoma, a strawberry mochi stuffed with ice cream. Then, Ayato also invites himself after hearing the commotion. But rather than cooking anything, he brings strange food from who knows where and feeds them to Thoma. And like he's always done when Ayato feeds him food, Thoma begrudgingly eats all of them at the cost of a stomach ache.
During the first two weeks, Thoma would still feel saddened by the whole event. But by the end of the third week, he's numb from the pain and all that's left is a gaping hole in his heart. The emptiness would prick him from time to time, but he's learned to get used to it. It's his fault that the friendship with the Shogun ended. And by the looks of it, mentioning friendship probably brought up painful memories for her, who without a doubt has lost a few friends throughout her long life. He doesn't deserve to be sad over something he brought upon himself for the Shogun was probably in more pain than he was.
It takes another week for Thoma to gather the courage to visit Tenshukaku. He knows the Raiden Shogun is back to her Shogun mode so she probably hates his guts right now, but he still needs to apologize for the event. Before that chill entered her eyes, he managed to catch a flicker of grief, which is proof enough that his careless words had more impact on her than he thinks.
Naoe, a Hatamoto, is watching over the gate when he arrives.
"Halt! Who goes there?"
"I'm Thoma, Chief Retainer of the Kamisato Clan. I'm here to see the Raiden Shogun." Thoma straightens his back as he puts on his best professional expression.
"Do you have an appointment?"
"No, but-"
"No appointment, no entrance. I and my men only take orders from the Almighty Shogun herself. If you have any requests to make, please pass it up the chain of command."
"This is a personal issue. I just need a quick word with-"
"The Almighty Shogun isn't someone who anyone can have a 'quick word' with. She is a figure of immense stature and power, with dominion over all life in Inazuma. Unconcerned persons are not allowed to disturb her." Seeing Thoma make no move to leave, Naoe glances at the two Doushin guarding the gate and without a word they begin to move towards Thoma with their weapons raised. "If you have no business in Tenshukaku, please do not loiter here. Otherwise, we'll have to use force to make you leave."
And that concludes his first visit. He tries two more times after this, but the results are the same. Naoe's looking increasingly more annoyed with each visit, and Thoma knows he doesn't have many chances left, so he decides to do something different.
He doesn't know how and why the Raiden Shogun switches between her nice mode and Shogun mode, but he hopes the Ei he knows is still in there somewhere, and her love for sweets still remains.
On the fourth visit, he brings with him a bottle of Dango Milk and a plate of Sakura Mochi. Both are wrapped and packaged along with a note. If he can't enter Tenshukaku, then perhaps these items can. And even if the food can't, there's still a chance the note can make it to the Shogun. As long as he can express his thoughts, it doesn't matter what method he uses.
"It's you again." Naoe looks at him with disgust when Thoma shows up with a disarming grin. "We still did not receive any words from the Shogun of an appointment with you, so you better scurry off where you belong."
"Actually, do you mind giving these to her?" Thoma points at the package in his hand. "Since I only need a quick word with her I thought it would save both of us some time if I just write what I want to say on a piece of paper."
"And what's the rest?"
"Oh, it's some food she likes."
Naoe sneers. "Food? Who do you think you are? The Almighty Shogun has a team dedicated to making her meals three times a day. You think your culinary skills are better than professional chefs with dozens of years of experience under their belt? Or do you think you understand her taste better than people who've served her for years?"
"N-No! Of course not!" Thoma shakes his head profusely. "Actually, forget the food. Can you deliver the note for me? That's all I'm asking you. Please."
"Who do you think I am, your errand boy?"
Oh no, this isn't going to end well.
Why must he make this so difficult?
Naoe takes a menacing step forward and shoves Thoma roughly in the chest. "Listen here, boy. We have better things to do than waste time with the likes of you. You better take your shit and get out of my sight before we-"
"What is going on here?"
Naoe turns around so fast his armored shoulder pad nearly smacks Thoma in the face.
"Your Excellency! This man has been bothering us for days and I'm merely telling him to leave the premises."
"Oh?" The Shogun's lifeless eyes turn to Thoma, then to what he's holding. "What is that?"
"I wanted to tell you something but since I couldn't meet with you I decided to write you a note. And these are some sweets."
"Sweets?" The chilling glint in her eyes gives Thoma a bad feeling, but it's too late to back off now.
"Yes. I brought Dango Milk and Sakura Mochi. You've always liked sweets..."
"Me? Liking sweets?" The Shogun laughs, not the hearty type of laugh, but a scornful laugh full of mockery that sends Thoma's stomach plummeting. "Sweets, the cause of cavities, which brings bacteria into the body and endangers life. Are you trying to kill me and hinder my pursuit of eternity?"
The spark of hope that the Ei he knows is still in there somewhere dissipates upon hearing her accusation. Thoma gulps, an unsettling weight resting heavily within him.
"Of course not! I'd never dare to do such a thing! I thought you liked sweets t-that's why I-"
"Enough." The Raiden Shogun snaps as lightning cackles in the darkening sky. "I've said it last time. I will strike twice."
And then he knows no more.
When Thoma awakens, he finds himself lying on wet ground, blindfolded and his hands and feet tied up. From the rough texture, he guesses it's ropes. He instinctively tries to burn the rope but when no Pyro energy comes to him, he realizes with horror that his Vision must have been taken.
Panic grips his chest and his breathing quickens.
What's going on here? Did the Shogun do this?
He twists his wrists to test the restraint but before he can even move a muscle, he receives a harsh kick to the chest that sends him flying into a wall.
"So you've awakened." That sounds like Naoe's voice. "Took you long enough."
"W-Where…" Thoma coughs, dust entering his lungs with each inhale. "Where am I?"
"Does it matter?" An unfamiliar voice speaks up, followed by multiple sets of footsteps.
He's surrounded.
"You have the guts to carry out an assassination attempt in broad daylight."
"You can't honestly believe giving her sweets is considered a murder attempt." Thoma pushes himself onto his knees. It's a less vulnerable position than lying on the ground with who knows how many people surrounding him with the intent to cause him bodily harm.
"Her excellency," Naoe corrects. "If the Almighty Shogun thinks it is, then it is. To blatantly disregard her words is solid proof that you need to be taught a lesson."
The blunt end of a polearm is thrusted into his back, hitting his spine and sending him sprawling forward. Without his arms to break the fall, Thoma smashes onto the ground face first, grunting when his nose cracks and blood dribbles down his mouth and chin.
"I remember you. You're the one who nearly had your Vision taken during the 100th Vision Ceremony," one guy says and Thoma winces when a foot stomps on his face, pressing his cheek onto the scratchy ground and causing what feels like pebbles and splinters to dig into his skin.
"Get...off me!"
He kicks out a leg and is satisfied when it meets flesh, catching the soldier off-guard and allowing him to roll away. The rope bounding his wrists and ankles chafes, tearing skin and drawing a hiss out of him. Every inhale comes with a stabbing sensation in his chest and leaves a metallic taste in his mouth.
Thoma spits out some blood and only has a second to catch his breath before a strong hand grabs his neck and slams his entire body into the wall like he weighs nothing. His head smacks against the hard surface with a dull thud and his vision darkens for a second before a harsh slap jerks him back to reality.
"Hmph, so you still have some fight in you. Good. Someone who can respond is way more fun to toy with."
The grip against his throat tightens and Thoma gasps, the pressure between his ears building and his eyes tearing up. He feels like his head is in a bubble, smothering the sound of snickering around him almost as if he's underwater. There's a burning sting in his eyes and his lungs feel like they're about to burst as he thrashes against the hold, his struggling growing weaker and weaker by the second and it's not until he nearly passes out does the hand leave his neck and he collapses, panting heavily.
"The Shogun told us she never wants to see you ever again. But I don't think this is enough to make you give up, right boys?"
Someone yanks him up by his hair and rips off the blindfold. It takes some time for his eyes to adjust. When the brightness finally dims enough for him to make out the figures before him, Thoma's heart sinks as he notices the objects in their hands. For the second time since he realized he had his Vision taken, fear grips his chest and his breathing quickens.
"Some of us have Visions too, y'know?" The hand holding his hair wrenches roughly, forcing a whimper out of him. The soldier licks his lips, a twisted smile marring his face. "This is gonna be fun."
By the time they throw him into a cell, his socks are soaked with blood and every wobbly step creates a squelch sound that grates on his nerves. One of his eyes refuses to open, and his ears are still ringing from his own screams. A few of his ribs are broken, but thankfully none has penetrated any vital organs. Every shuddering breath spreads pain throughout his body, from his broken nose to his expanding lungs that pushes onto his broken ribs. His torso is littered with black and purple bruises, and they give him hell with every little movement.
The first night is the worst. Solitary confinement is a great opportunity for him to reflect on everything that's happened in the past few weeks. He thinks back to the hot pot game, to Ei's sweet smile when she tastes his miso soup. Then the festival comes to mind, and his heart starts hammering once again upon remembering the intimacy they shared. It takes him weeks to go from initial realization of his feelings to giving up on her, yet it only takes a single moment of solitude to light up that spark once more.
Thoma spends that night hoping for the Shogun to return to her nice mode and get him out of this predicament.
The next day, he tells the soldiers he won't bother the Shogun ever again. They don't believe him and decide not to give him any food or water, so he ends up drinking from the Electro-charged water they try to drown him in. The ropes binding him have been changed into shackles. His wrists and ankles are already rubbed raw from the thick ropes so the cool metal feels rather nice on the wounds.
The second night is spent wondering about Ayaka and Aether. Do they know where he is? Why isn't anyone coming to save him? He briefly entertains the idea of escaping. Even with his injuries and without his Vision, he should be able to create an opening and escape if he can catch the guards off guard. But if he escapes, the Shogun would surely shift the blame onto the Kamisato Clan, and he would never forgive himself if Ayaka and Ayato were to suffer because he's too weak to handle a few days of pain.
He repeats his promise on the third day, but the soldiers claim most prisoners spill their juicy intel after five days of torture, so they decide to play with him some more. They end up using his tongue as an ashtray and his bare back as a blank canvas for drawing, with their knives. At some point, Thoma has gone numb from the pain. He just wants the daily grind to be over so he can return to his cell and sleep until he's awakened by a swift kick or whatever new tricks they have up their sleeves.
That night, he receives a single Onigiri. Though calling it an Onigiri is an insult to all Onigiri, since it's just some undercooked rice squeezed into a strange shape with fingerprints leaving indents on the surface. No seaweed, fillings, or seasonings. It tastes like cigarette ash in his mouth and eating it only serves to make his hunger harder to ignore.
Thoma doesn't even flinch when he wakes up the next day with a new burn mark on his chest. Nothing hurts more than the realization that no one is coming to save him, that the people he cares about, Ayaka, Aether, Ayato, Ei...have all abandoned him.
That he, too, has given up on them.
AN: Reviews are appreciated! See you next Saturday!