Author's Note: LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOO! IM SO EXCITED TO GET INTO THIS ARC AWjegbaieyiwabiFIAWYGD AAAAAAAAAAAAAA! ALR, ENJOY! 333
Warning: Swearing
Disclaimer: Bruh, I don't own Kimetsu no Yaiba, all rights go to Koyoharu Gotōge. Please support the official release!
Continued...
"Bye Lana!" "BYE!" "LANA-CHAN, BE SAFE!" "Bye, Lana."
I smiled to myself as I walked away from their waving forms, slowly growing smaller and smaller as I went further down the dirt road.
I glanced down at one of the smaller bags in my arms, peering at the shiny gold hairpins clinking together.
I cackled, "Awe shit, the Red Light District is NOT ready for my obnoxious ass to be singing on the streets!"
Another two months passed and I found myself walking on the dirt road to the Butterfly Estate again, wanting to spend my free time with my loved ones again. As my sandals scraped against the dirt, I reminisced over my progress from the last few months.
Holy shit, it was so fucking exhausting and not to mention hopeless at times trying to swing around a bigass whip and avoid hitting myself. But I did it! Dude, I'm such a God at ribbon dancing now, it's literally just as Mitsuri said, easy as breathing! I got SO FUCKING FLEXIBLE TOO! Dawg, okay- first time I arrived here (I keep forgetting that No, I Was Not In Fact Born In This World), I'd literally die if I even tried forming a split, and GOD knows how much my back would hurt after bending over for too long. Now? DUDE, I COULD LITERALLY DO THIS SHIT IN MY SLEEP thanks to Mitsuri's constant exercise routines and encouragement, I managed to do so many things I never thought I'd be able to! I was sure thankful for her.
It was, um, hard at times whenever Obanai would come over, which was frequent, I can assure you.
Flashback to when I was training with Dad, remember that shit? When I'd like, cry and stuff if I made a mistake? Okay, if you thought that was bad, IT WOULD NEVER COMPARE TO OBANAI'S TREATMENT.
THAT MUTHAFUCKA WAS RUTHLESS WITH HIS INSULTS! Dude, I could never catch a fucking break! I swear my whole day was ruined after he would pull up to Mitsuri's to watch me train. He was so fucking harsh with his words, you could only imagine how that shit went down with me, especially knowing how my sensitive-ass is...
I don't wanna talk about it at the moment, shivers.
Anyways, back to what's at hand. Holy shit, I was sure the Red Light District Arc was approaching like a freight train, and I had no fucking clue when it'd start. In fact, there's a huge chance I won't even be able to be apart of that arc if I manage to not show up on the day Uzui fucking comes, and that thought scares me the most. Shit, what if I miss the whole arc!? I can't let that happen, dude! I guess I just gotta hope it's on a weekday, since those are my only days off.
"Lana!"
I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard the sound of my name being called, causing me to whip around at the sound. A few feet away behind me was Tanjiro, who waved over at me with a smile.
"Tanjiroooo!" I squealed, running over to him and throwing my arms around him, giving him a kiss on the cheek. He laughed and kissed my cheek in return, hugging me back tightly.
"I didn't know you were visiting today!" He exclaimed, looking down at me. I beamed and puckered my lips at him. "I like surprising you guys anyways. Besides, y'know I can only visit on weekends and stuff, I'm a pretty busy girl!" Tanjiro chuckled and and rubbed his sweaty neck before sighing tiredly.
"Exhausting mission?" I smiled in concern as we began walking again. He nodded and replied, "I'm beat, I-"
He was interrupted by the distant cries and yelps coming nearby from behind the Butterfly Estate gates.
"Oh fuck," I gasped before glancing at Tanjiro's equally worried expression as we began sprinting towards the gates. 'Oh shit, OH SHIT THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING!' I internally screamed, a tiny excited smirk appearing on my face as my heart began to pound.
At the Butterfly Esate...
"I...I said...LET ME GO!" Aoi screamed, flailing around in Uzui's grip as he tossed her over his shoulder. Naho was pressed tightly into the hashira's side as he held her captive, shrieks and cries emitting from her trembling body.
"You're too noisy, so shut up," Uzui said nonchalantly as he began walking away, Kanao watching in shock as Sumi and Kiyo cried for him to stop and let them go.
"K-KANAO!" Aoi cried, reaching out for the other girl with a frightened expression.
'Duty...Mission...Superior officer...Shinobu...Aoi...Naho...Coin...Hashira...Orders...' Kanao's mind was running wild as she stared dumbly at Aoi's terrified form, not knowing what to do. I mean, Uzui was a hashira, and she couldn't go against her superior's orders...right?
'Coin...I'll toss my coin to decide,' she thought numbly, reaching towards her pocket to retrieve her prized possession.
"IT MEANS YOU LIVE BY YOUR OWN RULES NOW! YOUR OWN MORALITY! YOUR OWN FEELINGS! CONGRATS! LET ME KNOW YOUR FIRST DECISION AS YOU STEP INTO ANARCHY AND PUNK LIFESTYLE!" Lana's words to her from before echoed in her mind. Kanao remembered how excited the other girl was, how happy she was at the thought of Kanao living through her own decisions. It was...It was life changing, to say the least.
The thought filled her with courage, and with that, Kanao leapt forward and grabbed Aoi's hand and Naho's skirt, tugging at them as her boots scraped across the stone pathway. "Kanao..." Aoi muttered in relief and surprise with tears in her eyes.
Uzui glanced down at the tsuguko with a blank stare. "Don't be such a bore. You got orders earlier, didn't you?" The pillar said to her as he paused. Kanao squeezed her eyes shut as sweat formed at her face, unsure if what she was doing was the right thing.
Uzui growled and angrily yelled, "SAY SOMETHING YOU STUCK-UP PIG!" "AYO! WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU CALLING STUCK-UP, YOU BASTARD!?"
Kanao's eyes snapped open at the familiar voice, although said in a tone she'd never heard before. Sumi and Kiyo paused in mid-charge, originally aiming to have a go at the overly large pillar themselves.
"LANA-SAN!" Sumi and Kiyo exclaimed in relief, even more so when Tanjiro came running just behind her. "TANJIRO-SAN!"
"WHAT'RE YOU DOING TO THOSE GIRLS?! LET THEM GO!" The redhead yelled angrily.
"YEAH YOU ASSHOLE! LET GO OF THEM BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK!" Lana yelled, fire practically blazing in her eyes. Uzui scoffed, "Like you can dream of even touching me, brat. Do you have any idea who you're talking to? Just who do you think you are, trash?" "WHAT!?" Surprisingly, Tanjiro was the one who yelled this before he jumped at the pillar, pulling back before thrusting his forehead of steel at the other's head.
'Omfg, Tanjiro defended me,' Lana mentally cooed before snapping out of it as the hashira disappeared, causing Tanjiro to miss. Luckily, she raced over in time to catch him in her arms before he hit the ground.
"What the?" Tanjiro muttered in her arms before the hashira's voice brought their attention to the roof. "Idiot," Uzui deadpanned. "I am Tengen Uzui, a former ninja. I'm well-known in that world. Do you think I'd let you hit me with your snotty headbutt?!" He glared down at us, still holding Aoi and Naho in his arms.
"WELL ALRIGHT, TENSHIT ASSHOLE, LET THEM GO!" Lana yelled, helping Tanjiro up. "LET GO OF AOI AND NAHO, YOU KIDNAPPER!" Tanjiro added angrily. "Yeah!" "What's the big idea!?" "Pervert!" Naho and Sumi jeered, sniffling.
"WHY YOU! GRRR, YOU TALKIN' TO ME?! I'M YOUR SUPERIOR OFFICER! I'M A HASHIRA, YOU JERK!" The pillar glared, growling furiously at our jeers.
"FUCK YOU!" Lana yelled, throwing up her middle fingers at the aggravated hashira. "I don't recognize you as a pillar!" Tanjiro huffed, causing Uzui to squawk in anger.
"DON'T YOU 'HMPH' ME! SO WHAT IF YOU DON'T RECOGNIZE ME!? YOU'RE JUST AN UNDERLING! HAS YOUR BRAIN EXPLODED!?" He yelled. "I NEED A CORPS MEMBER FOR A MISSION, SO I'M TAKING HER! SHE ISN'T A TSUGUKO, SO I DON'T NEED KOCHO'S PERMISSION!"
"WELL SHINOBU AIN'T GONNA LET YOUR ASS GO IF- NO, WHEN SHE FINDS OUT ABOUT THIS! AND BESIDES, NAHO ISN'T EVEN A CORPS MEMBER!" Lana yelled back. "THAT'S RIGHT! SHE ISN'T WEARING A CORPS UNIFORM, IS SHE!?" Kiyo cried out.
"Then, I don't need her," the pillar said before tossing Naho off the roof of the entrance gate.
She screamed as she fell before Tanjiro swooped in and caught her. "He dropped me!" Naho sobbed in terror, clutching at his shoulders. "It's okay, it's okay, we'll kick his ass for you," Lana said gently before she grit her teeth and glared up at the hashira. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU BRUTE?!" Tanjiro yelled, his eyes practically popping out of his sockets. "YEAH, THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?" Lana added furiously.
Tengen looked down at them both figuratively and literally from his place at the top of the gates. "For now I'm taking her on a mission. She doesn't look useful, but she's basically a corps member." He then glanced at Lana, who gave him a hard stare. In another flash, he disappeared from the top of the gates, only to re-appear again with Lana under his arm, just as Naho had been a moment ago.
"HEY MAN, WHAT THE HELL!" Lana screamed, thrashing around in his strong grip. "Quit squirming! I'll just take you along, since I need more than one female corps member for this mission," the hashira huffed in frustration as he tightened his hold, causing the girl to gasp at the sudden tightness around her waist. 'Wait, what am I complaining for? I wanted to go on this mission anyways, lol,' Lana realized, relaxing in his grip and waiting out the scene.
"GIVE US BACK AOI AND LANA RIGHT NOW!" Tanjiro yelled, furious at the pillar, at himself for not being able to protect his girlfriend.
Aoi looked down at the dirt path below her hopelessly as she tensed up at his words, recalling the week during final selection and how she only managed to survive through pure luck. A mission...She wasn't sure how she'd fare in one, considering how she spent her days helping around the estate, away from certain danger. And surely, Lana wouldn't be there to protect her the whole time.
"People have different needs and abilities! You can't just use them as you like with no regard for them at all! Let them go!" Tanjiro yelled as he stood with the 4 girls. "Tepid. You're lukewarm. The demon slayer corps is getting weaker because of new members like you who just rattle on like that," Uzui said lowly. "JUST TAKE ME INSTEAD OF AOI, AT LEAST!" Tanjiro exclaimed, holding a hand to his chest. If he couldn't take back Lana, then he could at least be with her on this mission instead of Aoi, since he remembered what Aoi had told him about her experience in the final selection.
Before Uzui could reply, a woosh! of wind came, and there appeared Zenitsu and Inosuke on both sides of the gate, surrounding Uzui.
"I just got back, but I'm not tired! I don't mind going either!" Inosuke exclaimed, pointing a thumb at himself.
"LET GO OF MY LANA-CHAN, YOU! GRRRRR, EVEN IF YOU ARE A MUSCLE-BOUND MOSNTER, I WON'T RETREAT ONE STEP!" Zenitsu screamed furiously, whipping out his nichirin blade. Despite his rage and fury, he was still heavily intimidated by the hashira, who only looked down coldly at him. But still, Lana-chan needed him!
A weird silence settled as Uzui thought to himself, an unreadable aura surrounding him. Tanjiro tensed as Inosuke began growling at the lack of attention, Zenitsu trembling from both fear and fury. Lana lied limply in his arms, yawning as she smiled and waved at Inosuke who was closest to her.
The silence didn't last long as the hashira quickly made up his mind. "...Whatever. You guys, come with me."
Tanjiro shot up in surprise. 'He sure caved easily!'
"But you'd better not let me down!" Uzui cackled before he hopped down and let Aoi and Lana go, the other girls rushing to them and surrounding Aoi as Zenitsu and Inosuke leapt down, running over to Tanjiro and Lana.
"So...? Where are we going?" Tanjiro timidly asked as him, Zenitsu, Inosuke, and Lana walked behind Uzui's towering form, his chains and jewels clinking together as he walked. Zenitsu trembled, still intimidated by his tall figure whilst Inosuke and Lana remained unbothered, walking silently with the trio. Although, weirdly enough, there were clinking sounds coming from Lana...
"The flashiest place in Japan, steeped in lust and avarice." The sound hashira answered before turning his gaze behind him to see that the four teens had stopped in their tracks.
"It's an entertainment district where demons dwell," he smirked at them, leaving the three boys confused. 'We're gonna become prostitutes! HELL YEAH!' Lana mentally rejoiced, growing excited at the journey ahead of them. 'OMMFGGGG, AND THEN WE'RE GONNA SEE DAKI AND GYOTARU- WHEEWWWWWW CHILEEEE, I'M SWEATINNN, AND NOT FROM FEAR, NO SIRRR!' She slapped a hand over her mouth as she held back a squeal, gaining concerned looks from her boys next to her.
"Heh, scared already? What a wimp! Then I suppose you'd have to rely on this pillar, right?" Tengen snickered, throwing a thumb at himself triumphantly.
The teenage demon slayers gave him a dead stare, save for Inosuke, who was quietly in awe at the sound hashira's cool demeanor.
"What? Bro, no. I'm just excited for this damn mission. Don't put all yo eggs into one chicken- er, eggs into one basket, mufucka," Lana muttered that last part under her breath, however Uzui had heard enough, growing agitated at their ignorance.
His eyebrow twitched. "You little brats! So ungrateful! You're lucky I've decided to take you with me!" He then thrusted his fingers at them, furrowing his brows in frustration. "GOT IT? I AM GOD! YOU ARE TRASH! FIRST OFF, GET THAT RIGHT INTO YOUR SKULLS! SCREW IT IN THERE! IF I TELL YOU TO BECOME A DOG, BECOME A DOG! IF I TELL YOU TO BECOME A MONKEY, YOU BECOME A MONKEY! YOU WILL ALWAYS HUMOR ME WHILE STOOPING DOWN AND IMPLORING ME FOR FAVORS. AND DO YOUR BEST TO FLATTER ME!"
The sound pillar then proceeded to strike a dramatic pose, smirking down at the four.
"I'll say this one more time, I AM GOD!"
Nobody reacted, processing his words. Zenitsu squinted at the supposed 'god', wanting to yank Lana far away from this weird guy. Tanjiro shot his hand up in all seriousness before asking, "What exactly do you rule over as a god?"
Lana refrained from slapping the back of his head, instead letting out a snort as Zenitsu blanched at how unbelievable Tanjiro was.
Uzui perked up, chuckling proudly, "Nice question. I have high hopes for you!" 'It's a dumb question. Don't have high hopes,' Zenitsu thought tiredly.
The hashira then gained a serious expression, leaning in. "I'm the god who rules over flamboyance. The god of festivities." 'He's a moron...He rules over morons, no doubt,' Zenitsu blanked out.
Inosuke placed his hands on his hips, huffing. "I am the king of the mountain. Nice to meet you, god of festivities." 'Oh no,' Lana internally sighed.
The other three males stared blankly at Inosuke. "What're you talking about...You're just disgusting." Uzui deadpanned. 'No, you're the same as him! And you're disgusted?!' Zenitsu gaped. "Eww," Tengen blanched as Inosuke growled angrily at him. "It's okay, Inosuke. It can't be helped that simpletons can't comprehend your greatness," Lana said, patting his back comfortingly. Uzui turned to the young girl and squinted. "'Greatness'? Oh, please. You're just as stupid if you think he's so great."
Tanjiro gaped as Zenitsu and Inosuke bristled. "WHAAAAT?! HOW DARE YOU CALL LANA-CHAN STUPID? ARE YOU DUMB!? GO TO HELL, TRASH!" Zenitsu raged, wrapping his arms around his girlfriend and clutching her to his side. "I'M THE GREATEST THERE IS! DON'T CALL MY UNDERLING STUPID, ONLY I CAN DO THAT!" Inosuke roared in fury. "I'LL KICK YOUR MONKEY ASS, YOU BITCH! LET ME AT EM!" Lana growled, whipping her fist in the air as an imitation of a fight as Zenitsu held her waist. "Ah, Let's calm down, guys, guys?" Tanjiro said nervously, although feeling just as ticked off from the insult at Lana.
The sound pillar ignored them in favor of turning around and walking ahead. "The wisteria house is on the way to the flower district. We'll get prepared there. Follow me."
All of a sudden, he disappeared, clouds woosh!-ing around the spot he just stood in. The three gaped in shock before looking around. "HUH?" "HE'S GONE!" Tanjiro and Zenitsu exclaimed. "Nah, he's over there," Lana snorted, pointing ahead. The small silhouette of the sound hashira ran into the distance, leaving behind puffs of dust behind him as he ran. "WHOA! HE'S SO FAR AWAY, HE LOOKS AS SMALL AS A SESAME SEED!" Zenitsu screamed. "So this is the power of the festivity god...!" Inosuke gasped. "No, that guy is the pillar Uzui Tengen-san," Tanjiro said. "I'll whoop that bitch's ass," Lana glared ahead. "AFTER HIM, AFTER HIM!" Zenitsu cried before they broke out into a sprint, chasing after the hashira.
The five demon slayers arrived at the wisteria house, although obviously Uzui had arrived first, pissing off Zenitsu, Lana, and Inosuke. The immediately were greeted by the kind family of four, who offered them refreshments and food.
As Uzui instructed the head of the family on things he'd need, the other four sat around a tray of tea and buns, waiting for the pillar. "Awe man, this tea fuckin' uhhhh, slaps!" Lana beamed, sipping on the sweetened drink. Inosuke chomped away at the buns, scarfing down the food as Tanjiro sipped on his drink as well.
Zenitsu stared at the sound pillar in disbelief as he explained that once they go to the red light district, they'd have to look for his wife while Uzui would gather intel on the demon. "THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE!" Zenitsu squawked. "HUHHH?" Uzui said, becoming irked. "PLEASE STOP JOKING AROUND! DON'T USE YOUR SUBORDINATES TO LOOK FOR PERSONAL BRIDES!" Zenitsu growled.
"HUUUH? YOU'RE MISUNDERSTANDING SOMETHING." "NO, I'M NOT! I'M JUST GOING TO SAY IT HARSHLY-" Zenitsu screamed. "WEIRD-ASS PEOPLE LIKE YOU WILL NEVER BE POPULAR!" "You tell him, babe!" Lana cheered, hyping him up whilst Tanjiro clutched at Zenitsu's haori to get him to stop. "Lana, please don't encourage him," the redhead said in exasperation. "-HOWEVER, YOU'RE TELLING US DEMON HUTNERS THAT YOU WANT A BRIDE!" "YOU DAMN FOOOL!" Uzui screamed back. "MY WIFE INFILTRATED THE RED LIGHT DISTRICT IN ORDER TO COLLECT INFORMATION ON THE DEMON! OUR REGULAR CONTACT WAS CUT OFF, SO NOW I'M GOING TOO!"
Zenitsu paused, staring at the hashira for a moment as Tanjiro looked up at the blonde in concern. Zenitsu squinted, "That's all in your head there, right?" "YOU SHITTY BRAT!" Tengen growled before throwing stacks of parchments and envelopes at Zenitsu, causing him to yelp and fall over at the force. "HERE ARE THE LETTERS SHE SENT ME VIA CROW!"
"Zenitsu!" Lana cried out, hurriedly scooting over to his form on the tatami mat.
"There sure are a lot," Tanjiro commented, picking up some of the bundles. "Has your wife been in there for a long time?" he questioned as Inosuke chewed on some buns next to him. Lana was helping Zenitsu up before Uzui spoke up. "I have three wives."
"THREE! WIVES...TH-THREE! YOU...YOU BASTARD! WHY DO YOU HAVE THREE WIVES? *CUT THE CRAP OUT!" Zenitsu screaming, shooting up. Before anyone could react, Lana threw herself at her blonde boyfriend, sending them to the ground as Uzui barely missed sending his fist into Zenitsu's gut. "What the...?" Zenitsu muttered, glancing up at Lana's heaving form, shaken up from adrenaline.
She snapped around and glared darkly at the hashira, although knowing she wouldn't do much to intimidate him. "LISTEN UP HERE, YOU SON OF A FUCK SHIT!" Lana screamed, standing up and towering over the hashira, who sat down in front of her after missing his hit. The other three boys watched in complete shock, seeing a side of their usually bubbly girlfriend she's never revealed before. She thrusted a finger at him and leaned in angrily, puffing from her nostrils. "I DON'T GIVE TWO FUCKS IF YOU'RE A HASHIRA OR A GODDAMN GOD! YOU DON'T FUCKING TOUCH MY BOYS, PERIOD! I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE STRONGER THAN ME, I'LL STILL FIND A WAY TO WHOOP YOUR SORRY ASS!" With every exaggerated word, she shoved her finger into his face as if threatening to poke his eyes out.
The 5-and-a-half foot girl huffed in anger, body trembling from rage as the others sat in silence, still in shock at the amount of fury emitting from the girl.
The sound pillar stared up at her for a moment before snorting and then breaking out into a hearty laughter. He then grinned at her and stood up, now his turn to tower over her smaller form. He pointed a thumb at himself, crossing his other arm over his chest. "I like you, kid! You've got a flamboyant personality filled with hidden fire! I like that!" "Huh?" Tanjiro and Zenitsu gaped. "I know. But I mean it, I'll whoop your fucking ass if you dare try doing that again," Lana said in a sing-song tone, giving him a close-eyed smile that held inner fury, reminding the hashira of a certain purple-eyed insect pillar.
"You can try, kid! Anyways, any questions?" Uzui said, turning to the dumb-struck boys. "U-uhm, in the letters, you remind them multiple times to do their best not to stand out, but...how exactly are we going to do this?" Tanjiro asked, still shaken up.
"Well, we're gonna be disguised, of course. And as much as I hate the idea, be plain. You guys just have to do a certain something, then infiltrate." Uzui went on to explain how he and his wives infiltrated as customers, however they didn't find any traces of demons, so they went for a deeper infiltration option. They've narrowed the most suspicious houses, which were luckily just three, which was enough for each wife to infiltrate.
"Aren't your wives dead already?" Inosuke said bluntly, picking his nose through his boar mask somehow. Tanjiro, Zenitsu, and Lana squawked at his insensitivity before Uzui slammed his fist into Inosuke's stomach. This time, Lana didn't stop him.
Inosuke wheezed as he lied on the floor, curling in on himself in pain. "Why didn't you do anything this time?" the sound pillar asked her, scratching his ear. She looked off to the side pointedly, puffing her cheeks. "I think everyone can agree with me when I say, he kinda deserved that." 'I also kinda, um, forgot that happened, so it was unexpected,' Lana secretly thought to herself.
"We brought the necessary items over," the head family member said, sliding the door and presenting a wooden crate. Lana gasped, 'MAKEUP TIME!' "Thanks," Uzui thanked, still glaring down at Inosuke.
"Oh hell yeah, look at me! I'm such a baddie, ugh!" Lana squealed to herself, feeling her confidence and ego soar at her reflection in the mirror given to her as she sat in an empty guest room to get dressed. "Although...I think I wanna, heh, 'show off the girls' a bit," she snickered to herself before adjusting her cheap kimono to rest loosely on her shoulders, her cleavage being pushed up by the tightness of the obi around her torso. She patted herself down before taking one last look at the mirror, admiring her short hair, decorated with one simple gold hairpin. Her eyes were dusted with a bright pink and yellow eye-shadow, dark ebony strokes of eyeliner flowed along the top line of her eyelid before ending at a sharp wing. Her small, plump lips were delicately painted with a pink shade of rouge, a slight gloss reflecting off the paint.
The kimono she wore was patterned like her checkered haori. How exactly did she get a kimono with the exact pattern? Who knows. But given that the family didn't own overly expensive kimonos, and Lana didn't bother to bring the expensive kimonos she bought at a marketplace, it was kind of expected. She didn't exactly expect that today of all days would be the start of the red light district arc!
"Damn, I'm...pretty," she said to herself under her breath before getting up and slipping on her demon corps sandals. "Wait- oh my god, the point is simple, right? Oh fuck. Okay, maybe I'm too pretty-" Lana suddenly realized, knowing that her look was honestly way too glamorous. "Oh well, fuck it. We pullin' up looking like a bad bitch, who gives a fuck," she shrugged before leaving the cosmetics she borrowed in the room making her way out the room to see Zenitsu, Inosuke, and Tanjiro sitting around on the tatami mat, Uzui already donning his yukata, his hair down. She couldn't see Tanjiro, as Uzui's back was facing her and blocking her view of her red-headed boyfriend. But a glance at Inosuke and Zenitsu already told her enough. The two who were visible blinked at her in shock, taking in her form. "Lana-chan..." Zenitsu muttered in awe.
"Um...What the hell?" She squinted before her lips wobbled and she broke out into obnoxious laughter, falling to her knees and hitting her fist against the floor as her body trembled with amusement. "BAHAHAHAHA! BRO, Y- YA'LL LOOK LIKE CLOWNS! AAAAAAHAHAHA!" She practically howled with laughter. She gasped for air, clutching at her chest in desperation as she cackled, pointing a finger at Zenitsu and Inosuke's unreadable expressions. "Y-YOUR EYEBROWSSSS, GAHDAHMMMM!"
Lana's words were only of truth. The two looked absolutely horrendous, their cheeks smeared heavily with a bright shade of red, their lips just as bright and obnoxious, completely falling over their lip lines. Their eyebrows basically looked like Tengen had just rubbed charcoal onto their foreheads, two black beady dots resting too far on their faces. Their hair was messily thrown into ribbons, and really, they did look like they were attractions at a damn circus.
"Shut up! Like you're any...! Better..." Uzui huffed before turning around to face Lana, revealing Tanjiro with a similar mess of a look like Zenitsu and Inosuke. Lana let out a couple of snorts, recovering from her fit of laughter before sitting up and sighing, fanning her heated face. "Man, that was funny as hell! Anyways, hand the brushes and shit over, I got this!" She grinned, throwing up a peace sign.
The other males stared at her in silent awe, eyes wide at her obvious craft with cosmetics. Well, better than Uzui's, anyways. "Woah..." Tanjiro said breathlessly, a red hue appearing on his cheeks, although only intensifying the bright blush smeared on his face. Lana snorted, "I know, right? I feel like such a bad bitch right now! Now c'mere so I can make you guys into baddies too."
"Yeah, I think you might do the better job at this. Don't quote me on that! But obviously, you do a flamboyant job at this," Uzui begrudgingly admitted, passing Lana the containers and brushes. "Damn right I do! Alright, Zenitsu, you're first." She beamed before quickly getting up and going over to her discarded haori in the corner, reaching into the sleeves and pulling out a handful of hairpins and accessories and making her way in front of Zenitsu.
"Where'd you get all these hairpins?" Uzui questioned, picking up one of the shiny combs. "I bought them at a marketplace a while ago. Thought they'd come in handy," she shrugged before grabbing a damp rag Uzui had used to clean up his work previously and instead using it to completely wipe off all the makeup on Zenitsu's face, rubbing the cloth gently on his skin as bright reds smeared onto the cloth.
After cleaning his face entirely of pigment, Lana began applying a bright orange pigment around his eyes, softly blending it outwards. She then grabbed a thin brush along with a small glass container filled with an inky black substance before dipping the brush in and leaning in to apply eyeliner.
"Your bangs are so long, Zeni," she softly commented, taking a hand and brushing his bangs up to get a better access to his eyes. "Alright, look down," she instructed, and he did so. As she began applying the cool liquid to his top lid, Zenitsu's gaze drifted down to-
He flushed, immediately ripping his eyes away from the sight of his girlfriend's, erm, bust that seemed so pleasantly inviting. 'No, no, no! Wait, why is her kimono so low?! OTHER GUYS WILL SEE HER! NOOOO!' he internally screamed in outrage, thinking about various scenarios where a man would try to steal her away from him- and Tanjiro.
"Okay, you can look back now. I'll just put on your lipstick and then I'll get started on your hair," Lana said, interrupting his thoughts. "Maa, you're doing an amazing job Lana!" Tanjiro commented with a smile, peeking over at her work. She giggled and hummed, "Thanks, Tanji. I do my best." "While you help them, I'm gonna go grab a few refreshments. I'll be back in a few," Uzui announced, getting up and walking out of the room, sliding the door behind him. "'kay," Lana called back, her stare unmoving from Zenitsu's face.
As Lana got started on painting his lips, Zenitsu couldn't help but stare at her concentrated expression, admiring the close view of her face as the brush tickled his lower lip, the soft exhale of air through her nostrils kissing his face. 'Ah, my future wife is gorgeous,' he thought to himself, a line that he repeated frequently whenever he thought of her.
Her features were certainly attractive, and he noted that her facial structure was definitely foreign. Her eyes, however, definitely said she was of Asian descent. There was just other things tossed in that simply made her unique to the average Japanese person.
"And, done!" Lana huffed victoriously, moving away from him after she stuck two hairsticks into his bun- when had she did that? "Wow!" Tanjiro exclaimed, blinking in awe at Zenitsu's complexion. "I tried my best with his hair, but it was hard to come up with a good style since it's all choppy and uneven," she hummed, tilting her head as she took a close look.
"Alright then, Tanjiro, you're next!" She chirped, turning to the redhead.
"Alright!"
"Alright boys, take a look!"
Lana excitedly presented them to a wide mirror, showing their improved looks.
"This is..." Zenitsu blinked.
"Um, it isn't too bad, right? I tried my best guys, really," Lana nervously chuckled, fumbling with her kimono sleeves.
"This is amazing!" Tanjiro suddenly exclaimed, turning to her with a grin. "Ah, really?" She beamed, a sparkle in her eye. Zenitsu furiously nodded, jumping in. "As expected! Lana-chan has a skilled hand!" "How long do I have to wear this stuff?! Urgh! It feels stuffy!" Inosuke growled, pulling at his obi. Lana laughed and patted his shoulder. "As long as it takes to catch the demons, Ino."
"Are you all ready?" The sound pillar entered the room, crossing his arms over his chest. His eyes widened at the three boys, all accessorized and glammed up. He gave them a smirk, "Great job! Although the topic was plain, remember?"
Lana snorted, "It's fine! I mean, the women there are already all done-up, right? So it shouldn't really be out of the ordinary. We're good!"
"Hm, you're right. Alright then, let's go!"
...To be continued...
*Just to clarify, Zenitsu was outraged that Uzui has three wives since he seemed like such a loser (in his eyes), not because he had three. Bcuz he's literally apart of Lana's three future husbands so he'd be a hypocrite, lol.