Author's Note: Everytime I refresh my email and see that I get more kudos or a new comment I get so mf happy like Y'ALL REALLY MAKE ME SO HAPPY, THANK YOU GUYS SM FOR LIKING THE NASTIEST SELF INSERT IN THE DEMON SLAYER FANDOM TvT. 33 I LOVE YOU ALL SM!
Warning: Swearing, implication of s/xual ass/lt
Disclaimer: Bruh, I don't own Kimetsu no Yaiba, all rights go to Koyoharu Gotōge. Please support the official release!
Continued...
Just below them, Tanjiro sat up, wheezes and heavy breaths wracked his body as his limits finally caught up to him. Suddenly, Uzui snapped around, his face shrouded in horror as he shouted something.
"RUUUUUUUUUUNNNN!"
What Tanjiro didn't see, was that from Gyutaro's neck, erupted a storm of blood blades, that swirled like tornadoes, and once again, he blacked out.
When Tanjiro came to, the first thing he saw was Nezuko in her smaller form, looking down at him worriedly. She whined as Tanjiro tiredly lied in her lap. He stayed there for a moment before he suddenly realized something and shot up with a gasp, holding a hand to his chest as he looked around.
"Oh, whoa...Everything's a wreck-" He said to himself in disbelief before feeling a head fall onto his shoulder. He looked down and smiled as he began petting his sisters head, her leaning into his palm. He thanked her for saving him before he suddenly remembered everyone else, which sent him into a frenzy. As he jumped up, he suddenly paused as he realized that the pain in his body was incredibly minimal compared to when he was awake earlier. He began to question how he was even alive at that point since he got poisoned, but he suddenly heard a faint whining of his name from a few meters away.
"Tanjiroooo~ Lana-chaaaan~ Where are youuuu?" A voice that sounded much like the anxious blonde called out pleadingly. "It's Zenitsu's voice!" Tanjiro realized, about to run over there. But he suddenly felt his body get hoisted up, and he looked down to find that Nezuko had picked him up and began carrying him over to where Zenitsu was calling for him.
"Tanjiro! Thank goodness you came!" Zenitsu sobbed upon spotting the two siblings running his way. "When I woke up, my whole body huuuuurt! And why the hell are my legs all broken? Who did this to me?! It huuuuuurts! I'm so scared I can't see! Where's my Lana-chaaaan!?" The blonde wept as clear fluids dripped down his face.
"You're okay! That's great!" Tanjiro nodded despite Zenitsu's obviously worse-for-wear state, to which Zenitsu cried out in protest. "I might be pretty messed up, but Inosuke is even worse! His heartbeat is slowly getting weakeeerr." Tanjiro's heart dropped at his words, however Zenitsu managed to point over to where Inosuke was lying, unconscious from his wounds. Tanjiro wasted no time in rushing over to his boar friend, and his eyes widened at the sight of the boys chest covered in blood. Hell, even his boar mask was covered in blood on the snout.
"INOSUKEE!" Tanjiro cried out as he cradled his dear friend. "INOSUKE! INOSUKE! KEEP IT TOGETHER!" Despite his cries, Inosuke did not awaken, he didn't even twitch. Tanjiro pressed his hand lightly onto the other's bloody chest wound, gritting his teeth as he felt a faint thump grow slower with each beat. 'His pulse, it's getting weaker!' Tanjiro huffed, his breath beginning to pick up from the panic and anxiety. Hundreds of thoughts ran through his head. The sunlight? No, the sun wasn't up yet! A crow to Shinbou? Too slow!
As Tanjiro was lost in his thoughts, heartbeat racing by the second, he gasped in shock as flames suddenly bursted and engulfed Inosuke, Nezuko had reached out and used her demon blood technique! He watched as Inosuke's skin began healing from the flames, the poison leaving his system. And like nothing, Inosuke grumbled, "I'M HUNGRY. GIMME SOMETHING TO EAT!" "INOSUKE!" Tanjiro grinned, tears falling from his eyes as he embraced his friend in relief.
As Tanjiro was overwhelmed by relief in that moment, Nezuko squeaked as she remembered something. Not bothering to wait for her brother, she suddenly ran off, her nose sniffing repeatedly as she used her enhanced demon senses to search for a certain girl. Although her nostrils were mainly filled with the scent of blood and dirt, she picked up a faint, familiar smell not too far from her. "Mmmf!" Nezuko cried out as she spotted an unmoving, blood-stained checkered haori covering someone on the ground, causing her to speed up in desperation.
She finally reached Lana, and she wasted no time in flipping her over to quickly spot the wound, a small ache beginning to settle in her heart at the girl's unconscious face, dried blood staining her lips. Flames enveloped the girl as Nezuko activated her blood technique over the wound on her shoulder. Once she was certain the wound had fully healed, she waited for a moment, hoping that the girl would immediately wake up. A moment passed. And another.
Tears welled up in the demons eyes and she hurriedly pressed her ear to the other girls chest, praying she'd be given a response. Nezuko let out a tiny gasp, muffled by her muzzle as tears left her eyes.
"Nezuko-! LANA!" Tanjiro called out from behind, rushing over and feeling dread fill his heart as he saw Nezuko lay over Lana's seemingly unmoving body.
No, no no no! Please say it's not true, please say she's not-!
Nezuko sat back up as Tanjiro skidded onto his knees, hurriedly scooping his beloved up into his arms and cradled her face in his calloused hand, scanning her face for sign of life. At first, he expected the worst. His heart stopped for a moment as he thought she wasn't breathing. However...the smallest of sighs left her chapped lips, smudged with dirt and blood. And he knew that she'd be okay. He moved his gaze over to her chest, where the steady rise and falls reassured him everything would be fine. He softly smiled down at the sleeping beauty and looked over at Nezuko, who wiped the stray tears of relief from her eyes, and patted her head. Her pink irises glistened at him, and he smiled.
"Thank you, Nezuko."
After picking up Lana's unconscious body and carrying her over to Inosuke and Zenitsu, Nezuko had went over and healed Uzui's wounds, saving the pillar from death as well. The two siblings went over to search for the demon heads, Tanjiro knowing that he couldn't rest easy until he saw them for himself. After collecting a sample of Upper Moon Demon blood and giving it to Tamayo's cat, the two found the pair of demon sibling screaming at each other in anger as they slowly crumbled away, making the most pitiful sight to anyone watching.
Daki paused as Gyutaro shouted how she was a joke as an Upper Moon before screaming that someone as ugly as him could never be his sibling. The hurtful words left him speechless as the younger sister rambled on, calling him unsightly. Gyutaro interjected as he spewed that if it wasn't for her, his little sister, he would've had a better life. And just as he was saying how she should've never been born, Tanjiro gently placed a firm hand over the demon's mouth.
"That's a lie."
He softly chastised the two, feeling sorrow in his heart. Daki quietly cried, tears falling from her eyes as Tanjiro told them they only had each other. Daki suddenly screamed, sobbing as she yelled for Tanjiro to leave, that she didn't wanna die. She sobbed, crying out for her older brother to do something. But her time was up, and as the last few ashes of her face disintegrated into the wind, the last thing she cried out was a weak, "Onii..."
Gyutaro cried for his sister, saying her real name as the memories of his human life began flooding back to him. She was the first to go, but he would soon follow. He knew that.
Tanjiro and Nezuko sat side-by-side quietly as Gyutaro shifted through his memories during his last few seconds. And just like that, he had fully crumbled away, carrying his sister on his back as they made their way to hell, together.
"Hmm, I see. Hmm. Six. The weakest Upper Moon. The six thing aside, you beat an Upper Moon. We should actually be celebrating. The six thing aside. I should praise you or something," A sarcastic, monotone voice drawled, accompanied by a soft hissing.
Uzui and his wives stared up at Obanai with an irritated, but tired look. "No, I don't really need your praise..." "THAT'S RIGHT!" "You're pretty late." "Y-Y-Y-YOU'RE SO LATE! WERE YOU ACTUALLY COMING?! YOU'RE SO LATE!" The four chattered before Kaburamaru hissed loudly at the bickering women, causing the meekest to cry out in fear and cling to her injured husband.
"What were you thinking, losing your left arm and left eye? Even if this was just a fight against Upper Moon six, at best," The Snake Hashira chastised Uzui before asking him how long it'll take for him to recover, who's gonna take up his place during that time before The Sound hashira admitted he'd be retiring, no longer able to fight.
Obanai glared down at him, dismissing his words with a blunt response that the younger ones are dying without any growth and that it'd be better to keep Uzui around in the state he's in is better than losing him, encouraging him to fight to his last breath.
Uzui cackled, his eyes glinting with mischief. "Well, the boy you absolutely despise is growing."
Obanai paused before his eyes widened. "Whoa. You're kidding. He survived? This fight?"
"Tanjiro Kamado?"
The destroyed area was filled with the sobs and relieved laughter of Tanjiro and Zenitsu as the redhead embraced his four most precious people in a group hug.
"WAAAAAAAAAAA! THANK THE GOOOOOOODSS! WE'RE ALIIIIIVE!" Zenitsu wept, holding a still-asleep Lana in his arms. However, he paused and looked down as he felt the girl move beneath him, a small gasp escaping her lips.
"Oh my god, wait, what the fuck-?" Lana rasped before letting out a haggard cough as arms wrapped around her body, squeezing her tightly. "C-can't...breathe!" She wheezed before Tanjiro and Zenitsu relaxed their grip on her body.
"Y/NNNNNN! THANK GOODNESS!" Zenitsu sobbed, crying harder as he watched Lana groan at the ache in her limbs. "Lana! You're okay! You're okay!" Tanjiro cheered in relief, his voice cracking as tears escaped his eyes, his hands gently holding her shoulders. Lana wiped her dirty mouth and gave him a small smile, looking in his eyes before turning her attention to Inosuke and throwing herself at him, hissing from the slight pain in her body.
"INOSUKEEEE! I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE ALIVE, I'M SO HAPPY ALL OF YOU GUYS ARE ALIIIVEE!" She wailed, holding his body in her arms. "Urgh, I would cry but I'm literally so exhausted I can't process anything at the moment," Lana sighed, slumping against Inosuke.
"Don't worry, I'm sure we'll get help soon! Just rest for now, okay?" Tanjiro said in concern, gently wrapping his arms around his fucked-up girlfriend and letting her rest on his shoulder. "Let's hope sho," Lana slurred tiredly, sighing. "Lana! Lanaaa!" Zenitsu sniffled, falling onto her chest and carefully holding her. He closed his eyes as she wrapped her arms around him in a warm embrace, honing his ears in to her gentle heartbeat. God, he loved that sound, almost as much as he loved her laughter. It put his mind at ease, and as long as he heard that sound, he'd have no doubt everything would be okay.
Lana softly stroked his hair, running her gentle fingers through his choppy blonde locks. The group sat there in silence, and for a moment, the world stood still. Until-
"Hey kid, you looked messed up," said a familiar voice dryly. However, if you really listened in, there was the tiniest twinge of worry in the monotone sound. Lana's eyes snapped open as she looked up to see heterochromatic eyes looking at her mundanely. She gasped in unbridled happiness, hope flooding her body.
"Obanai!" "That's Iguro-san to you, gaki. When did I say you could address me so casually?!" Obanai suddenly glared at her, but his gaze softened just a tad as she winced from shooting up too quickly. "Kanroji's on her way with some Kakushi, but don't think you'll be off the hook- Hey, are you falling asleep?" Lana yawned and slumped against Tanjiro's chest, Zenitsu snoring away in her arms. "Just...for a little while, okay?" She murmured before drifting off to sleep, exhaustion finally taking over once more.
Lana's POV
I jolted awake, groaning shortly after as a great ache settled throughout my body. I sighed through my nostrils, too tired to even talk to myself. I spotted a couple of IVs hooked up to my body along with bandages wrapped around my arms. I felt some more wrappings around my head and torso, which were mainly hidden by the blanket and loose clothing covering me.
A sudden gasp along with a shatter of glass snapped my tired gaze over to a wide-eyed Kanao, her mouth open in a slight gape before she rushed over to my bedside, completely forgetting about the vase she just dropped on the floor.
"K-Kanao, hey," I said softly, giving her a small smile. "Are you okay? After the fight ended, you didn't regain consciousness for two whole months," Kanao told me, leaning on the bed. "Two months? Oh, okay..." I murmured before softly gasping, too tired to make any dramatic reactions like usual. "Two months!? Gahdam, my dream lasted like...I dun' even know, man..." I sighed, relaxing into the bed.
Kanao gently grasped my hand, turning my attention back to her. Her expression was soft, a sweet smile on her lips as she told me, "I'm so glad you're awake..."
I smiled back at her with the little effort I could muster and weakly squeezed her hand in return. "...Me too."
We sat in a comfortable silence for a while as I began to grow drowsy, closing my eyes while Kanao watched over me. It wasn't long until an unknown voice interrupted us, calling from the hallway,
"KIYO-CHAN, SUMI-CHAN, NAHO-CHAAAN! AOI-CHAAAAN! TANJIRO'S AWAKE NOOOOW!"
I softly gasped, wanting to throw the covers off of my body and run over. It seemed Kanao read my mind, as she shook her head and patted the mattress. "Don't exert yourself, you're still recovering." I let out a small whine and weakly held up my arms, making grabby motions. "...Then at least carry me over, please. Help me take off the IVs or somethinggg."
Kanao paused but reluctantly complied, however she left one IV stuck to my arm, which I guess was fine as long as she brought me to Tanjiro. She untucked me from the covers before carefully sliding her arms just under my butt and around my shoulders, careful to avoid my injuries, and scooped me up into her arms. I reached out and limply grabbed the IV pole, and she began walking out the door and into the hallway.
The small wheels of the IV pole squeaked on the wooden floorboards as we finally reached a certain room with cries and sniffling sounds coming from the door, Kanao stepping in with me in her arms. Everyone immediately turned to us, the sounds of the wheels bringing their attention. I smiled tiredly and gave a small wave with my unoccupied arm, amused by everyone's shocked expressions staring at me. Aoi immediately sprung up from her spot on Tanjiro's bedside and rushed over to us, crying even more as she directed Kanao to place me on the bed since it was already too late to ask to take me back. After all, I really wanted to see Tanjiro. No harm, right?
Naho, Sumi, and Kiyo continued to sob as I was gently lowered onto the bed across from Tanjiro, who gave me a small, weak smile. "Hey..." he rasped, his eyes gentle and just as tired as mine. "Hey man," I said softly, returning the smile as the girls continued to cry around us, the sounds of the kakushi scolding Kanao for moving a freshly-awoken patient barely registering in my ears. I was just close enough to lean over and take his hand into mine, although I couldn't really hold it due to my weak grip.
"I'm so...f'ckn tired," I said, voice just above a whisper. Tanjiro let out a chuckle, though it sounded more like a wheeze than anything. "Then you should've gone back to sleep instead of...visiting me," he breathed. "Nah, 's fine..." I shook my head before looking over to Sumi. "How's my other weirdos? Are they awake yet?" I softly asked. The small girl gave me a smile after wiping her tears, "Yes! Zenitsu-san woke up the day after the incident." "The blonde dude left the day before yesterday, all screaming and crying," the kakushi added before Sumi explained the situation with Uzui and his wives.
"Oh, okay...and Inosuke?" Tanjiro asked. "Inosuke-san was on the verge of death at one point," Sumi told us. Aoi sniffled, wiping her nose with the bedsheet she brought into the room. "Inosuke-san was in terrible condition. The poison had circulated through his body, so we were too late to stop the bleeding."
'Oh...' was all I thought, hoping I would be able to see him soon.
"Oh, okay...Then I must be hallucinating Inosuke clinging to the ceiling there..." Tanjiro muttered, looking up. We all turned our gaze to see that, no, Tanjiro wasn't hallucinating, and yes, Inosuke was on the damn ceiling.
Yells rang throughout the room as Inosuke cackled, "GUWAHAHAHA! I'M IMPRESSED YOU NOTICED ME, TANPACHIRO!" "New name?" I giggled weakly, amused by Inosuke as always. "Well, I'm lying face up..." Tanjiro said with a light tone, making me let out another giggle.
Inosuke dropped from the ceiling and landed on the bed, sending Kiyo rushing to get off to avoid getting squashed by his BIG FEET. This mans whole ass was right in front of my face, and I spaced out staring at it until he eventually plopped onto the bed, pinching at Tanjiro's cheek.
"Oh yeah, look at this, Tanjiro-san, Lana-san!" Kiyo got our attention and held up a book, a picture of a furry white and black animal on the second page. "It's a weasel from overseas called a 'honey badger'!" She told us more about it before pointing over to Inosuke. "Shinobu-sama said Inosuke-san is just like this thing!"
I let out a sleepy hum to show my amusement as Tanjiro let out a quiet chuckle. "Kocho-sama's pretty random," the kakushi said. "Thinking about this guy is a pain in the butt though," Aoi commented, grabbing his arms.
Inosuke, however, crossed his arms and huffed, "SO BASICALLY I'M IMMORTAL!" "No, you're just a moron." At this, Inosuke lunged at the kakushi, tugging at the cloth on his face. "WHO'S THE MORON HERE, YOU ASS!" the wild boy growled angrily.
"YEAH, YOU MAY HAVE POISON RESISTANCE, BUT YOU ALSO RESIST THE MEDICINE WE GIVE. SO BE CAREFUL! SHINOBU-SAMA SAID THIS TOO! YOU KEEP FORGETTING EVERYTHING!" Aoi yelled, holding him back. As the two bickered, Kanao tried to get their attention.
"Qu-quiet!" she tried, but they completely missed it as they continued to yell. Kanao huffed and leaned over the bedside, "TANJIRO AND LANA FELL ALSEEP, SO BE QUIET!"
The two finally stopped but looked over to the pair to see that Lana had lied down beside Tanjiro's legs, the two fast asleep and snoozing away.
"AAAAAHHHH! THEY'RE BACK IN A COMA!" Inosuke yelled in alarm. "DON'T SAY ANYTHING THAT'LL JINX THEM!" Aoi scolded. Whilst the two resumed their bickering, the kakushi and everyone piled out of the room, Kanao staying behind to carry Lana back later, but figuring to let the two lie together for a while. It was a rather cute sight, even though a part of her wished she was in Tanjiro's position.
...Sigh.
About a week later, the two of us made a full recovery! HOORAY! Of course, we were immediately put to training while Inosuke went off back to work. OH YEAH, I bet you're all wondering what the hell went down when Mitsuri and Obanai and Dad found out about when I woke up.
Okay, so with my favorite pink lady and emo muthafucka...
I sat on my bed, sipping some matcha tea Sumi had made for me. It'd already been like two days since I woke up, and so far I was just chillin' while waiting for my limbs to heal up, with the occasional help from Kanao or Aoi who helped bring me to hang out with Tanjiro.
I sighed as the warm scent wafted to my nose. "Damn, this shit be BUSSIN," I nodded to myself, taking another sip. A knock at my door grabbed my attention, and after taking a long sip of my tea, I called out, "Come iiin!"
The door creaked open, and in stepped Shinobu, who greeted me with her usual smile. "Lana-chan, you have visitors! Is that alright?"
Oh! Was it Zenitsu?! Jesus christ, I missed him so much. I haven't seen him since I passed out! Eagerly nodding my approval, Shinobu stepped aside, allowing my guests to step in. My eyes widened in surprise as a teary-eyed, sniffling Mitsuri and a seemingly disinterested Obanai walked in the room.
We didn't say anything for a moment before Mitsuri's lip wobbled and immediately, she rushed over to my beside, throwing herself onto the covers, sobbing into the sheets.
"WAAAAAHHH! Lana-chan!" Mitsuri wailed, muffled by the cloth. "I-I'msoglady-you'reokayyyy!" she shakily babbled, gently grasping my unoccupied hand as fluids dripped down her face. I worriedly smiled and stroked her hair, careful to hold my tea cup in the other hand as to not spill. Thankfully, Shinobu took my cup from my hand and placed it on a table, allowing my hand to fall onto the bed limply. The Butterly Pillar sent me a wave before she swiftly exited to room, closing the door behind her and leaving us alone.
"I missed you, Mitsuri!" I beamed in an attempt to comfort her. Obanai walked over to her side, looking down at her with a concerned expression. Clearly, he hated to see her cry.
I looked up at him, sending my smile towards him. "I missed you too, Obanai- er, I-Iguro-san," I stuttered, cheeks flushing as I remembered the glare he sent me for greeting him so casually a few months ago. The Snake Pillar was about to say something but paused, as if he was mulling over something. To my surprise, he waved a dismissive hand at me. And was that a faint blush under his bandages? "It's fine. I don't care what you call me. Just don't go saying weird stuff, alright?" He said gruffly.
Although his words appeared cold to anyone else, if you knew him, you know that it isn't easy to get him to loosen up, so him agreeing to let me call him by his first name? WE'RE PRACTICALLY BFFS OMFGGGG! Just kidding, but for real though, we all know he's one tough NUT to CRACK, LMAO.
I smiled wider before Mitsuri picked her face up from the sheets, snot clinging to the fabric and connecting to her nose. "Ah, here," I said, reaching over and grabbing a tissue from my bedside drawer and passing it to Mitsuri, who accepted it gratefully.
"I-I was so worried wh-when- when you didn't come home that night, a-and then when I sent a cr-crow to Shinobu-chan, I f-find out Uzui-san kidnapped you!" Mitsuri said shakily before breaking out into another fit of tears. "And to the Red Light District, no less..." Obanai grunted, looking pissed at the thought. His protective response, or at least that's what it looked like to me, sent a wave of affection in my heart, knowing I finally managed to gain his concern. Well, he could just be pissed that Uzui indirectly upset Mitsuri, but I'd like to think otherwise!
Mitsuri let out a sob at his words, furiously blowing into a fresh tissue she grabbed. "D-DID ANYONE TOUCH YOU!? DID THEY FORCE YOU TO DO THINGS!?" She cried, her eyes bulging and welling with tears. Obanai's eye twitched as a vein bulged on his face, his temper rising as Mitsuri continued to imagine the worst scenarios. I quickly shook my head, waving my hands frantically to dismiss these thoughts. "WHAT?! No! Nothing happened! And besides, I was with Inosuke! He'd kick anyone's ass if they dared to harass me!"
Mitsuri let out a heavy sigh of relief and wiped her eyes. "Thank goodness!" Sniffling, Mitsuri stood up, leaned over and embraced me, nestling her head into my shoulder. "Oh Lana-chan, I hope that never happens again! Shinobu-chan made sure to give Uzui a good scolding!" "-As well as I," Obanai muttered under his breath, unbeknownst to us. "I mean, I honestly had a lot of fun dressing up and sneaking around. Sure, it was scary, but...I dunno, it's expected, going on missions-" "Quit the sentimental crap, you're no where near a hashira level and you were forced to go on a hashira-level mission. Uzui took full responsibility, and you should be extremely grateful you're still alive." Obanai cut in bluntly. Mitsuri sent him a disturbed look, which made him hesitate for a moment, but he continued, "But...I guess it's a good thing you didn't lose any limbs like that idiot."
I sent him a crooked smile and chirped, "I appreciate the words!" 'Jeez, I get it shawtyyy...Also, kinda wished I got to see Uzui get his ass chewed out by miss Butterfly! I BET IT WAS THE FUNNIEST SHIT BROOOOO.'
And then with Dad...
"Lana-san! You have a visitor!" Sumi chimed as she poked her head into my room, door already open. I looked up, placing the sketch I was drawing in down on my lap after closing it. "Okay, thanks! Er, send 'em in."
Expecting to see Mitsuri, a bright smile appeared on my face as I prepared to greet her. Instead, as my guest stepped through, my jaw dropped and my eyes practically popped out of my sockets. "D-Dad!? DAD!" I exclaimed in surprise, bright feelings overwhelming me as the familiar wave-patterned jinbei and red ogre mask met my sight. "OH MY GOD? WH- WHY ARE YOU HERE?"
He walked over to my bedside and sat on the stool placed next to my bed, letting out a chuckle that warmed my heart and almost sent tears to my eyes. It's been so long since I last saw him, heard him. Dad...
"Who else? To see you and Tanjiro. Believe my surprise when I hear my students have been sent into months-long comas," he told me, reaching out to gently ruffle my hair. "This is the first time I've seen your new hair...It looks good on you." His pleased hum made me smile and flush with joy and bashfulness. "Oh! You wanna know about what happened and how I ended up in a coma? Do yaaa?" I urged, clapping my hands excitedly. "...Do I really?" He questioned, causing me to pause and look off to the side with an unsure look. 'Awe shit bruh, he's gonna beat my ass FOR REAL this time when I tell him about the bullshit I pulled,' I internally groaned. "I mean...Okay, listen! I mean, it's bad, but like...okay, um, just listen."
I proceeded to explain everything from start to finish, how I was just trying to have a surprise visit with my boys as usual when I literally got kidnapped by willingly went with a grown-ass man and was forced to dress up and sent off to go investigate in a whole-ass district known for...sexual services and various entertainment. COME ON, IT'S LITERALLY CALLED THE RED-LIGHT DISTRICT, THE FIRST THING THAT USUALLY POPS INTO YOUR MIND WHEN YOU HEAR THOSE WORDS IS SEX PLACE.
"-and now I'm here, recovering and talking to you, lol." I finished, plopping my hands into my lap after making several dramatic gestures. Throughout my retelling of my epic mission and another close brush with death, although I couldn't see his face I could tell he was growing more and more exasperated by each words that left my pie hole.
"...I don't even know where to begin. I'm not sure if I should scold you or get angry about the fact that you were forced into that position in the first place..." Dad said in disbelief. I sucked in my lips and hummed, "Ummm, get angry that I was forced into that position? In my defense, I did save Tanjiro from being killed multiple times." 'LIE AS HELL, NOTHING WOULD'VE CHANGED IF I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING BRUH. I just wanna be useful...Ugh, I get so scared that I'm not good at fighting and I'll fuck up and ruin everything, so I always figure best option is to use my body. I know, I've been training with very capable swordsmen for years, but jesus does the inferiority complex NEVER go away!'
"Ow!" I exclaimed, holding a hand to my forehead after feeling a sharp flick. I looked up to see Dad put his hand away from my face, immediately being the number one suspect for my 'distress'. "Stop that, I can smell the stench of self depreciation flooding the room," he said sternly, taking my hand into his larger, calloused one.
"Dang, it's hard to even put myself down in my head..." I muttered with a sigh. "You shouldn't be doing that in the first place. I didn't rai- teach you to be an incompetent swordswoman. The strength of the sword is always determined by the will and technique of it's wielder, and you already have both. Although," he tapped my forehead with a single finger, reminding me of a certain gesture from a ninja anime. "I suppose a sound mind will need more work with you."
Mentally soaking in his words, I pursed my lips and gave him a small smile. "I guess so."
After a while of catching up, he went to see Tanjiro, and I was left with a big, goofy smile and a new miniature set of wood statues that resembled Tanjiro, Nezuko, and myself.
God, I missed him so much. I guess I do get rather homesick and not even realize it sometimes.
Anyways! A few days after, as Tanjiro and I were being stretched by Naho and Sumi one day, my beloved redheaded boyfriend brought up something that I knew wasn't going to be concluded well. "Did I get a new sword while I was sleeping? I chipped my old one." "Oh man," I said aloud. "Haganezuka-san is literally gonna stab us next time he sees us, and I don't think food is gonna satisfy da beast this time..."
Naho jolted nervously, "Oh! Your sword? Well..." "Haganezuka-san sent some letters. W...would you like to see them?" Kiyo asked a bit reluctantly.
Tanjiro and I stared down at the papers stained with ink, reading in ominous writing, 'I HAVE NO SWORD FOR YOU.' 'FUCK YOU FUCK YOU GO TO HELL FUCK YOU FUCK YOU' 'HATE HATE HATE YOU CAN GO TO HELL'
"Jesus...christ brutha..." I said with a disturbed expression before suddenly bursting out into laughter. "BEST LOVE LETTER I EVER GOT! AAAAAHAHAHA!" I wheezed, slapping the floor while Tanjiro and Kiyo looked horrified. "L-love letter?!" Tanjiro cried out. "This is a love letter to you?" "I'm kiddinggg! You know the love letters you send me are my favorite," I snorted with a flirtatious wink.
"Er, anyways. You ready to get, like...murdered?" I joke half-heartedly as Tanjiro gave me an exasperated look.
...To be continued...