Author's Note: HEYYY! I MISSED YOU GUYS!^^ I can't make any more promises that I'll update weekly or that I'm more motivated, BUT, I can guarantee that I haven't given up on writing and especially haven't dropped this fic! I'm sorry for the long waiting, but I hope this emotional chapter satisfies a bit :,))) (edit after writing this damn chapter: HOLY CRAP UHHHH YEAH IT GETS MAD EMO, I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE IAHJFDOWHDEHUA LMAOOOO! ANYWAYS I MISS ZENITSU AND INOSUKE SO MY GOAL IS TO GET THIS ARC OVER WITH AND DUDES IM SOOOO EXCITED TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT! EEEEE! ENJOY YOU GUYS! 333 I LOVE YOU ALL!

Warning: Swearing, it gets kinda personal and MC gets emo (I need an outlet guys, srry)

Disclaimer: Bruh, I don't own Kimetsu no Yaiba, all rights go to Koyoharu Gotōge. Please support the official release!

Continued...

I sympathetically patted his shoulder, giving him a small nod. "I know baby, I know. You'll get him next time, for sure."

We remained in silence for the rest of our time there. Save for one- well, a few cheeky comments I made.

"...You can look at my tits if you want, y'know."

"LANA!"

"I KNOW YOU WANT TO BRUTHA, DON'T BE SHY NOWWW! AHAHAHA!"

After a good soak in the hot springs, the three of us redressed ourselves and went back off to the village, where we were quickly escorted to one of nearby buildings and given a fresh change of clothes. Now redressed in a loose yukata, I joined Tanjiro and Nezuko as we were lead to another room, the strong and mouth-watering scent of delicious spices filling our nostrils the closer we got. No doubt Tanjiro already smelled it first, considering the drool he had to swallow multiple times when we entered the building.

As soon as we entered, I immediately spotted my beloved master already sitting at a low table, surrounded by piles of dishes as expected.

I greeted her with a bright grin, skipping up to her and eagerly plopping down right next to her. She squealed and brought me in for a tight side-hug, which gave me a warm, happy feeling in my chest. Warm, just like the feeling of her arms around me.

"Lana-chan! Did you have a nice time in the hot springs? It feels so good, right?" She exclaimed, happy to see me after what felt like a whole year despite it being a few weeks since she last dropped by for a visit at the estate while I was in the middle of my recovery training.

I giggled, her joy infecting me as she beamed at me. Tanjiro plopped down at my other side, placing down a cushion beneath his knees as Nezuko shrunk and slid under the table like some little duende.

"Yeah, actually! Like- my body feels soooo good right now, I could just lay down forever. Buuut, I'm pretty damn hungry right now, soooo...!" I quickly replied, feeling a strange combination of exhaustion and excitement that made me want to sleep and bounce off the walls at the same time.

My attention was turned away from Mitsuri as I felt Tanjiro pat my thigh, and I looked over to see another cushion in his hand, obviously for me. "Lana, your knees will get sore from the mat. Use the cushion for your legs!" He sweetly urged, making my cheeks heat up and my heart soar from the small domestic act.

'Malewife...' I off-handedly thought to myself as I pictured Tanjiro with an apron baking bread, Zenitsu outside of our home taking care of plants, Inosuke playing with our kids, and I coming home from a long day of shopping, only to be greeted by my loving husbands.

All I can say is, ONE. DAY.

Internally swooning, I gave him a shy smile and nodded, getting up for a moment to allow him to place the cushion right between him and Mitsuri, my rightful place. I sat back down, the comfortable material now protecting my legs from the rough pattern of the tatami mat, the thin material of my yukata only doing so much for me.

LISTEN MAN, I know Tanjiro's just showing natural concern for me, but the hopeless romantic side of me can't help but hear the wedding bells already ringing in the distance! I think we can all damn agree that Tanjiro is the perfect malewife. And I KNOW that Zenitsu will be just as good too!

Inosuke, on the other hand...

Well, that's some food for thought, yeah?

I snapped out of my thoughts as dishes filled with delicious, steaming food were placed in front of me. Tanjiro immediately slid a bowl of rice towards me and handed me a clean pair of chopsticks, to which I happily thanked him for before digging into the grilled fish and teriyaki chicken laid out on separate plates. I also couldn't help but swipe at some fresh onigiri, given that the simple combination of rice and a strip of seaweed made for a part of a delicious meal!

A villager with a mask seen on any other resident of the swordsmith village came by with a big teapot and four teacups, placing them in front of us before pouring what I presumed to be matcha tea into the cups. With the steam from the hot liquids and food as well as the long sleeves of my yukata, I felt my body quickly warm to an uncomfortable extent. Attempting to cool down, I slid off the top haori layer and rolled up my yukata sleeves, only to groan under my breath as they slid down my arms.

Mitsuri, noticing my struggle, waved over an attendant and requested a tasuki.

While the person ran off to go fetch it for me, I mentally slapped myself. A tasuki, duh! For those who don't know, i's basically this small but long sash made of cotton that you use to tie up kimono sleeves by tying the sash around your chest. I've used them before during training or whenever I get really overheated! Although I keep forgetting the name for it.

"Uh- thank you Mitsuri! I keep forgetting simple things like that all the time!" I nervously chuckled, tucking my hair behind my ears as I ate some fish, internally sighing at the delicious savory taste. Dude, NEVER TAKE ME BACK TO MY TIME! I could really give less of a FUCK about phones and shit (that's a lie, everyday my hands itch to grab a phone and plug in some earbuds and just jam out. I certainly miss my music more than anything in the world. IT'S GOTTEN TO THE POINT WHERE I'M FORGETTING SONGS I'VE MEMORIZED BY HEART!), the food here? SLAPS SO FUCKIN' HARD, ON GOD I'M SO THANKFUL I GET TO FEAST ON THE BEST-TASTING FOOD OF MY DAMN LIFE. Even if it's just basic food to everyone else in this era, they'll never get to know how bland and packed with preservatives and artificial flavoring the food gets in the future...

Mitsuri just gave me a simple close-eyed smile before the villager came back and handed her the white strip of cloth. As I bit into another piece of chicken, I paused as I heard my master ask me to turn around. Thinking she meant to face her, I complied, cheeks full of savory teriyaki chicken and eyes tiredly blinking up at her.

She smiled and shook her head, giggling at my facial expression. "Other way, Lana! I'll help tie your sleeves up, 'kay?" I hummed and obeyed, turning around to face Tanjiro as I kept chewing on my food.

"Okay, lift your arms for me!" Mitsuri said behind me. I complied, raising my arms.

While I did this, I couldn't help but have a small flashback to when I was a child and my mom would wash me. "Taas kamay!" she'd say, and I'd raise my arms as she scrubbed at my body.

I didn't like thinking about my parents a lot, it always makes me sad. I wouldn't say I missed them at the stage I was in my life, but...I did miss the tiny moments of joy in my childhood. It didn't help that Mitsuri reminded me a lot of a mom. Maybe not mine, but what a mom should be. It made sense as to why she's so good at being a parental figure, she has multiple siblings after all. She's always so kind and understanding, and she also knows when to be a bit more firm. She cooks good food, and she always makes sure I'm happy and healthy.

My eyes began to burn as I felt my chest grow heavier and heavier as I weighed these thoughts in my mind.

I wish Mitsuri was my actual mom. Obanai would also be a great dad to his and Mitsuri's kids as well, since he loves her so much, no doubt he'd love his kids strongly as well. I wish my dad was like that. I wish my parents-

I felt a warm, calloused hand rest on my covered thigh, snapping me out of my thoughts. I looked up, blinking away tears that formed in my eyes as Tanjiro gave me a concerned look, most likely smelling my grief and wanting to attend to me. Mitsuri patted my shoulders as she finished tying up my sleeves, the sash secured in a bow right under my armpit at my back, and I lowered my arms, resting them on my lap and placing my own hands over Tanjiro's, trying to send him reassurance that I was okay.

I tried giving him a smile, only I didn't realize that it takes a lot of effort to make even a small grin when you're feeling shitty and down in the dumps. God, I hated that I always get so emotional and depressed over things that don't even matter anymore. But that's just what happens when you teach yourself that every little action in the past can come back to bite you.

Stop, stopstopstop. Stop thinking. Tanjiro's getting more worried by the second and you're on the brink of breaking down. And- Nezuko already noticed too, she's peeking up at you from beneath the table, she looks worried, oh god, oh no, I always bother everyone-!

"Lana?" I heard Tanjiro say softly, clasping my clenched fist in a gentle hold. I didn't even notice I formed my hand into a fist. And even more so, I'm trembling right now. My cheeks are wet, my eyes burn, my throat is clogged.

I didn't reply, slowly reaching up to wipe away at the flow of tears streaming down my face. I didn't trust my voice, knowing that as soon as I opened my mouth, I'd start sobbing or whimpering. Instead, I tried calming down, taking deep, shaky inhales through my mouth. My nose was too busy dripping with snot to allow me to breathe through my nostrils, so I had no choice but to use the other airways of my body.

"Lana-chan? Wha- What's wrong?! Why are you crying?" Mitsuri gasped worriedly as she leaned over my shoulder, noticing how concerned Tanjiro looked in front of me and how I went unusually silent. Before I could respond, not that I could anyway, she hurriedly got up and moved to my side, placing a gentle hand at my shoulder and wrapping her arm around me, rubbing my upper arm back and forth soothingly.

"Bad thoughts?" she questioned in an understanding tone, knowing full well how my mood would suddenly drop at times due to how dark my mind would get occasionally, even more so if Obanai reprimanded me rather harshly during training. She had her fair share of experiences of when she'd catch me up late at night, silently crying into my futon sheets.

I sniffled and slowly nodded, leaning into her embrace and appreciating that she never forced me to say anything, but always let me know she was someone I could talk to any time whenever I felt ready to.

She hummed and sighed, leaning her head onto my shoulder as comfort while Tanjiro hesitantly placed his other hand at my cheek, gently wiping away any stray tears that fell from my eyes as I slowly calmed down. I gave him a small, but genuine smile at his attempt to comfort me, cupping my other hand over his once more. And he gave me a small smile back, eyes soft but still concerned.

I looked down, feeling a sudden weight on my lap. Nezuko's large pink eyes blinked back worriedly at me, small muffles hums of concern leaving her muzzle as she reached up at me with her tiny clawed hands. I gave a small chuckle at her cuteness before reaching to grasp her hands, squeezing them to reassure her I was feeling a bit better, there was no need to worry. She understood, her eyes relaxing, but still nuzzled into my lap to let her know she was right there with me, too.

"We're here for you Lana, always." Tanjiro said, warmth ever-so-present in his voice. It sent small shivers up my spine, but not in a bad way. His voice always brought me so much comfort, so much joy. Tanjiro, Zenitsu, Inosuke. My boys. My sweet, strong boys, who always make me feel safe and happy. They're...what home feels like. Nezuko, Shinobu, Kanao, Aoi, Naho, Sumi, Kiyo, Mitsuri, Dad, and even Obanai, all make up the most comforting and protecting family I've ever had in my lifetime. I could never- would never, ask for another.

My eyes stung once again, and my chest clenched. All so familiar, and yet, this time it was out of pure joy and happiness.

I had found my family, I've found people to truly call home.

I often scare myself most nights, thinking that I'd close my eyes, and when I wake up- I'd be back in my old world. All the relationships I've built and all the development I've gone through- all apart of my imaginative world caused by maladaptive daydreaming as an attempt to cope. But every morning, I get proven wrong over and over again. And I couldn't be more thankful to be proven wrong every single time.

So I blinked away my remaining tears, beamed my signature grin, and wrapped my arms around my master and my boyfriend-future-malewife and brought them in for a hug, overwhelmed with feelings of joy, grief, and love.

All I could say, wet-faced, red-eyed and all, was-

"Thank you!"

After we'd all calmed down and I had cleaned my face, we'd finished our food and remained seated, sipping on the matcha tea that had long gone cold over the course of the crying session.

"Mm, oh yeah. The boy you met at the spring was someone from our batch. His name's Shinazugawa Genya," Tanjiro informed Mitsuri, gulping down his drink as I tiredly leaned on his shoulder, taking small sips from my own cup as Nezuko laid between the two of us, her head leaning into my hand lazily stroking through her hair.

I watched through half-lidded, puffy eyes as my master perked up at my boyfriend's words. Mitsuri's brows furrowed and she leaned to the side, "Oh! Is that so...That'd mean he's Shinazugawa-san's little brother, right? But he told me he didn't have one." She frowned, blinking in thought. "Maybe they don't get along? That's so tragic," she sighed sympathetically.

I nodded, a frown also forming on my face at the thought. Me, having never finished reading the damn manga, had no clue how the relationship between the two brothers worked. From what fanart I've seen, it's a really sad fate, for Genya especially.

My brows furrowed. If we go by my delusional logic that I'm a main character of some isekai-type fanfiction, I'd assume I should follow the good of my heart and do whatever I can to mend the relationship between the brothers, right? But I'm literally a complete stranger to the two with little to no knowledge of how the story between them goes. How in the tit am I supposed to do anything?! I mean, it's not even my business, right? It's not like it's my place to interfere...

But, if there is anything I could actually do to help without being an annoying cucaracha to anyone, then obviously I'd love to help! If it doesn't require an excessive amount of meddling, that is. I'd hate to end up making things worse by accident because I can't read the room, especially between two muthafuckas with possible extreme anger issues.

I didn't have anything to say, so I kept quiet as my master and Tanjiro continued to talk.

"Oh, are they...? Why is that?" Tanjiro questioned, taking another sip from his cup as he adopted a concerned expression on his face.

Mitsuri leaned over to tickle Nezuko, the younger girl squealing happily behind her muzzle. "Well, I have five siblings and I get along with all of them," she giggled as she played with Nezuko, making a smile form on my face at the sweet interaction. "I don't really know. I guess the Shinazugawa brothers are just scary!"

"I agree," I off-handedly chimed in. "I mean, I don't wanna assume they're bad, but if someone looks like they're about to snap and kick my ass if I breathe wrong, then personally, I wouldn't wanna go near them." I paused to think for a moment. "But I wouldn't mind making friends with Genya, at least. Since he's our age."

"Fair enough," nodded my master as she began petting the small demon girl. "Shinazugawa-san, the Wind Pillar, ways always rather cold towards me. He gets along with Iguro-san and Rengoku-san though, and he always asks Shinobu-chan how she's doing at every meeting, so I'm sure he does have a good heart!"

She suddenly deflated, causing Nezuko to open her eyes in confusion at the lack of petting. "Did I do something wrong? Shinazugawa-san doesn't seem to like me much..." She whined, brows creasing in worrisome thought.

I leaned up and away from Tanjiro as I began to swing my fist in a rapid circular motion, cheeks puffing. "I'll kick his ass if he's mean to you, master! C'MON, I'M DOWN TO SCRAAAP! I don't care if he can make me fold in less than a second! I'LL DEFEND YOUR HONOR MY QUEEN!" I declared in false bravado.

The other three laughed at my display before Tanjiro wrapped an arm around my waist, making my heart flutter and my fists to stop swinging. "I'll join you! I don't like him after doing what he did to Nezuko," Tanjiro huffed, mimicking me in puffing his cheeks in aggravation at the memory. I 'Hmph'd!' and nodded, agreeing with him and resuming to swing my arm in his hold, only for him to release me and try to copy me as well. Only, he went a tad slower than me.

"Wow Lana! How do you swing your arm so fast?" He asked me as he slowed his arm. I snorted and gave another swing. "It's all in the arm. Aaaand because of months of hyping myself up by pretending I'm in a fight, heh." I stood up and comically kicked the air, continuing to swing my arm rapidly. "ALWAYS GOTTA BE READY TO WHOOP SOME ASS, DAWG!" I exclaimed with fervor before plopping back down onto my cushion, resting my back on Tanjiro's chest behind me. "Whew! I am exhausted. Babe, could you pleeeease refill my cup?" I patted his thigh, and like the sweetie he is, leaned over to grab the teakettle to fill my cup.

"Anyways, as I said, I'd like to befriend his younger brother though if I get the chance," I said, thanking Tanjiro as he handed me my tea cup and looking back at Mitsuri.

"Yeah. Speaking of which, Genya still hasn't come here. I'd love it if we could just chat for a bit..." Tanjiro muttered as he glanced at the door, Mitsuri cooing as Nezuko reached out for cuddles.

"It looks like he isn't coming. And he told the villagers he won't eat at all! Maybe he brought something with him?" Mitsuri pondered as Nezuko hugged her, sending a small surge of jealousy within me that I quickly pushed down before it could manifest into something bigger. Curse my deep insecurities!

"I hope he's okay. We should bring him some leftovers, just in case," Tanjiro nodded, and I agreed with him as I looked at the good amount of meat still leftover from our meal. 'Wait, I read somewhere that he eats demons or something? I have no idea how that works- does he still eat regular food? Does he starve himself until he happens to run into a demon? Damn, I gotta learn my boy's diet, if there's one thing I can't stand, it's letting someone go hungry. Especially if it's a future friend!' I nodded to myself, yawning as we all decided to head out, but not before we asked for the leftovers to be packed up to be given to Genya later on, courtesy of Tanjiro.

We made our way down the hall, our sock-clad feet padding against the floorboards as we walked in a group.

"Ah, Kanroji-san, why did you join the demon slayers?" Tanjiro curiously asked, holding a tray of onigiri freshly prepared.

My master became flustered at the question and turned her head. "Huh? Me? It's kinda embarrassing..." She looked over at me and cupped her cheeks. "Ohh noo, should I?" She squeaked to me, to which I gave her an encouraging smile and a nod.

"Mm, see..." She shyly trailed off before exclaiming in one go; "I joined so I could find a gentlemen who would marry me for life!" She squealed, shaking her head side to side, face flushing brightly. I held back a laugh as I watched Tanjiro gave an expression of disbelief, listening as Mitsuri rambled on. "Girls actually like men who are stronger than themselves! Girls want to be protected by them. You get it? Maybe this is hard for a man to understand, but I'm sure Lana-chan gets excited when you protect her, right? Right?" Tanjiro remained awkwardly silent as he sent me a strange look, making me internally cackle and give him a weird look in return, scrunching my lips up as my eyes squinted.

"I mean, pillars are strong, right? But it's hard to meet up with them. That's why I became a pillar myself! I worked really hard at it too! Oh! And-" Mitsuri went on and on as we searched the rooms, looking for any sign of Genya, but to no avail.

"Genya-kun isn't here," Mitsuri pouted before someone called her from the side. We turned to spot a female kakushi approaching us, informing my master that her sword would be done very soon and that she was needed at the workshop for the final touches. Mitsuri sighed, reluctant to leave. "Awww, looks like I have to go now."

She turned to me, giving me a hug and giving one to Nezuko as well, who was still in her smaller form. "We can go see you off, if you'd like!" Tanjiro offered politely, watching the exchange. Mitsuri waved her hand dismissively, "It's fine. I'll probably have to leave in the dead of night anyway." Before she continued down the hall to follow the kakushi, she turned around and gave us a cheerful wave. "Lana-chan, Tanjiro-kun, stay safe! Oh- WAIT!" She suddenly remembered something, her eyes practically springing out of their sockets as she rushed back towards us, leaning in to tell us something. She glanced over at the flustered kakushi waiting for her a few feet away from us and turned back, cupping her hand over her mouth.

"I heard there's a secret weapon in this village that makes you stronger. Go look for it," she quickly whispered before whipping back around and jogging off, waving. "Later!" She called out with a bright smile on her face before turning back around.

The three of us waved her off before I turned to Tanjiro, raising a brow to see if he'd get a nosebleed. Insecurity crept up in the back of my mind, causing my chest to darken, but that feeling quickly vanished as my red-headed boyfriend turned to me with a smile. "It was nice seeing your master again, right Lana?"

As soon as I saw his smile and his eyes shining kindly at me, my heart lightened before I was immediately filled with guilt.

How many times am I gonna keep this cycle of feeling insecure and making myself feel like shit and then only to be proven wrong again and again? I know Tanjiro loves me, and yet, I can't help but feel so- so...

Scared.

I never told him this, I haven't told Zenitsu this either, but I'm devastatingly terrified that one day, they're all gonna leave me. The abandonment issues within me are honestly so severe, but I just...don't wanna bother them with my senseless insecurities. I try my best to push it down whenever I feel so shitty, but I know Tanjiro smells my mood shifts by the way he turns to me with concerned eyes. I try reassuring him nothing's wrong, but I know he doesn't believe me. I know eventually he's gonna want the truth, but he understands that I don't wanna talk about it and drops it. But I know it must be frustrating to him that I always prioritize communication, and yet I don't tell him anything about how I feel. It's unfair to him, and to Zenitsu. I know.

Speaking of Zenitsu, I know damn well he can also hear how heavy my heart gets. Much like Tanjiro, I can tell he wants to know more, but he respects my feelings as well.

Sigh.

I need help, brutha.

Tanjiro, smelling my sudden shift in mood, dropped his smile and gave me a worried look, silently asking me with his eyes if I was okay.

And I smiled back, shaking my head, and dropping the subject by saying that I'm feeling sleepy.

That night, as we laid in our futons, I heard the rustling of sheets and felt Tanjiro turn to face me. I kept my eyes closed as I waited for him to speak, but gave up and slowly peeked my eyes open, only to make eye contact with his own half-lidded gaze.

"Lana?" he said, voice just above a whisper and sounding tired.

"Ye- yeah?" I replied, just as quiet but with a raspy voice.

He paused for a moment. "I...Are you okay?" he finally asked, sounding rather unsure if that was the right thing to start off with.

I pursed my lips and avoided his gaze, unsure of whether to blatantly lie or to be honest.

Hesitantly, I spoke. "I won't lie to you. I'm not. Actually- right now, I'm okay. But you know that eventually that's gonna change again." I yawned, shifting so that my stomach was flat on the futon and my chin was buried in my pillow. Tucking my arms under my pillow, I muttered, "I can't exactly explain why my mood can change so quickly, but I know it must be heavy on your nose."

Sheets rustled as Tanjiro moved closer to me, his shoulder touching mine as he copied my position. "It's- It's not heavy on my nose. It's just, whenever you get sad, your scent gets really...damp? It's a bit salty, like the ocean. And sometimes, it also smells like something is burning. It's not a foul smell, but it's not something pleasant either." His was became slightly muffled at times from his mouth being so close to the pillow, but I could still hear his words so clearly.

I heard a small hum and I glanced over to see Nezuko scoot closer to me from my other side, her own futon was provided but clearly unnecessary as she came closer to share mine.

"And I think...No, I'm sure Nezuko is worried too," Tanjiro continued, voice still soft as he spoke. I kept listening, barely keeping my eyes open as I stared into the darkness of the room. "We can tell, you know. You always have something to say, always making us laugh. So when you're quiet, it's only when you're sad or really tired."

I stopped to think for a moment, taking in his words.

I knew it was obvious. I know they're concerned. I feel so- tired. I don't have much energy, and I honestly want to keep quiet and sleep already, but I didn't want to leave Tanjiro or Nezuko hanging, knowing they want some kind of answer. And I know I'd feel horrible if I kept neglecting their worries like this, so I know I have no other choice.

I yawned again, a small sigh escaping me as I settled deeper into my sheets. "I knew you guys knew. I'm not exactly good at holding back my emotions, but I try because I don't wanna ruin the mood or make you guys concerned. I see that I still do that, anyways." I let go a heavy sigh, too tired to feel sad, but still feeling something weighing on my chest from the conversation.

Before I could say more, Tanjiro cut in. "That's something that you do a lot," he told me with a downhearted tone.

"What, ruin the mood?" I questioned, not sure of what he was referring to.

He paused. "No. You never do that," he said quietly. "I mean that you always make things seem like you're at fault, like you're guilty of something."

At this, I remained silent.

"Lana," Tanjiro said in a more firm tone. "You never do anything bad. You've never hurt us, and you've never said or done anything- well, except maybe worry us half to death when you throw yourself out in danger- but that's also another point!"

Before I knew it, tears were falling down my cheeks and soaking into the pillow beneath me, snot dripping down my nostrils and sliding into my mouth. My throat clenched as I felt a bubble form within, and once again, I knew not to open my mouth unless it was to exhale, knowing that I'd let out a sound. My fists clutched at my pillow, desperate for stimulation. To my surprise, I felt warmth around my torso, looking over with a sniffle to see Tanjiro wrap his arms around me and hold me closer to him, a sorrowful expression on his face with determination mixed in.

"I know you're extremely selfless, and I admire that so much about you. But you never let yourself lean on us- on me for once." He gently squeezed my waist. "I...I might not know what's bothering you, and I don't know exactly what you've been through, but please don't think you have to blame yourself for every little thing that doesn't go our way."

I felt Nezuko nuzzle closer to me, also wrapping her arms around my body. I was trapped in a Kamado-sibling sandwich as I silently cried, heat spreading throughout my entire body to the point of starting to sweat. But I couldn't find it within myself to push them away, no matter how overheated I was starting to become. In fact, I'd prefer it if we stayed like this just a little longer. I needed, craved a hug like this one. Full of warmth and sweat, but most of all, love.

Nezuko let out soft hums into my side as Tanjiro went silent, preferring to quietly hold me as a way of reassuring me he'd always be there.

As my sniffles lessened and fluids stopped leaking out of my eyes and nostrils, I felt my throat relax. Giving a small cough, I slowly pushed myself up, the siblings releasing me and helping me to sit up on the dampened futon. I wiped at my eyes and nose, giving a small grimace as snot smeared onto my arms, sleeves still held back by the tasuki Mitsuri tied for me earlier.

I cleared my throat and sighed, tiredly sagging onto Tanjiro's front as he resumed wrapping his arms around me. Much like how we sat together during our first recovery training, my head rested on his shoulder as our legs splayed out on the futons, Nezuko crawling over to lay her head on my lap. I sniffled again as I began running my fingers soothingly through her hair, feeling like crap from my runny nose and slight headache throbbing rather annoyingly.

"...Thank you, Tanjiro, Nezuko." I quietly said, voice hoarse from the strain. "I know I- I don't talk much about what's going on in my head. And honestly, I'd rather we talk more about it another time when I'm less tired. But you should know something that scares me, a lot. Maybe it'll help you understand why I suddenly get clingy sometimes or why I'd rather keep things to myself rather than share it."

Tanjiro didn't say anything, but he let out a soft hum in response, letting me know that I can start whenever. Something I greatly, greatly appreciated, given how most of the time I had to speak about my feelings under immense pressure and fear that I'd get in trouble.

I sucked in a breath and exhaled. "I'm just really really scared you're all going to leave me. That maybe one day, I'll open my eyes and you'll all be gone. This was all a dream, and everything I felt-" my eyes stung again, seems like my tears would just never end. "-will be gone. All made up in my mind. And not only that, but even besides the whole 'this might be a dream' stuff, I'm also terrified that you'll realize how horrible I am and leave me." I took a shaky breath and shook my head gently, not wanting to increase the pounding in my head. "I know you guys aren't like that. I know you'd never just pack up and go, I know you'd never abandon me like that. But I just- I just...I hate myself so damn much, I can't help but feel like I'm the worst person on earth. I know you might not understand, and hell, I know you wanna help me. But I don't...I don't even know how to help myself. I don't even know what I need."

My voice cracked and my body trembled as I rambled on, tears slipping once again from my eyes. Neither of the siblings said anything, letting me speak and Tanjiro just holding me as my fingers gently treaded through Nezuko's hair.

"...Tanjiro, you and Zenitsu do such a good job at making me feel like the world revolves around me. It doesn't, my ego isn't that huge. But you two just do wonders for my self esteem. And it's not gonna be an over-night thing, but you two make me wanna be better. Not just for you two, but I know I also need to do it for myself," I explained, calming down again with a few sniffles from my nose.

I looked down at Nezuko and lovingly patted her head, making her shift to look up at me with her large pink eyes. She might look and even act sometimes like a child, but I try not to let myself forget that she's just two years younger than me. She's seen some horrifying things, almost gotten herself killed sometimes, and always tries her best to protect us. She understands what I'm saying, she's fully aware of what I mean. It's hard to see past her small form and sometimes childish hums and coos, but she's still a teenager. Just like me, just like Tanjiro.

"Nezuko," I said, fully grabbing her attention. "Thank you as well, for always looking out for us. I wish you were still human, I wish you and your brother never had to go through the things you did." She cooed behind her muzzle as I cupped her cheek, a somber expression on my face as I looked at her.

I looked over her wide eyes, her small nose, her tiny head. And then I tried remembering how she looked like before, when she was a human. When she was 12.

My heart ached. And I wished, although not for the first time, that she could've had a better experience of her teenage years.

"When you're human, the first thing I'll do is bake you the best damn angel cake you'll ever get to eat. I'll put mangoes and shit on it, you're gonna BUST when you eat it," I giggled, a smile forming back on my lips. Nezuko hummed joyfully as I leaned down to place a kiss on her forehead, a muffled squeal reaching my ears and making me feel a bit lighter.

"And Tanjiro is gonna buy you a pretty, expensive-ass kimono, and it's gonna make you look like some kind of noble- or even a princess! I'll put makeup on you and pin your hair up with expensive-ass hairpins to match. You're gonna be the baddest bitch in Japan! Besides me, of course!" I laughed, beaming as I felt Tanjiro tug me closer to him and press a kiss to my jaw from the side, feeling a smile on his lips as he did so.

"Yeah, so don't you worry one bit Nezuko! We're gonna work our hardest and make sure you become a human again! So you can eat all of Lana's cakes and wear the loveliest dresses!" Tanjiro added enthusiastically, making me giggle before a yawn forced it's way passed my lips.

Tanjiro, catching the yawn virus as well, followed. And realizing it's late as tits, we all decided to head back to bed now that I managed to get some things out of my system.

Lying back down on the now-dry futons, Tanjiro once again wrapped his arms around me and pressed a kiss to the corner of my lips. Even if it technically isn't our actual first kiss, it still made my cheeks flush and my heart warm with adoration.

The last thing I heard before I let sleep take over was a soft chuckle and a soft, "I love you."

I unconsciously smiled and murmured in return,

"I love you too."

...To be continued...