OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Funny puns, jokes, trivialities, etc. that make me laugh: (Some of which apply to me.)

Life isn’t passing me by, it’s trying to run me over.

Isn’t it funny how the word ‘politics’ is made up of the words ‘poli’ meaning ‘many’ in Latin, and ‘tics’ as in ‘bloodsucking creatures’?

Something to note: 'Liar, liar pants on fire' translated into French and then back into English is: 'Teller of untruths, your trousers have combusted.

Why is it called common sense if it's so rare?

If con is the opposite of pro, is "Congress" the opposite of "progress"?

I don’t obsess! I think intensely.

Of course I’m talking to myself. Who else can I trust?

“Those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it.”

A 'congress' is the name for a group of baboons. Hey! Don't insult baboons!

True Facts:

The human brain has a "morality switch" that dictates our ethics, and locks your brain onto one way of thinking based on societal conditions around two and a half years of age. By the time you're three years old, you are already trained to think a certain way. (Kinda scary when you think about politicians)

Favorite Media:

Films-Animated:

The LEGO Movie

How to Train Your Dragon (1 & 2)

Any Pixar Film

Kung Fu Panda (1 & 2)

Monsters Vs Aliens

The LEGO Batman Movie

Films-Live Action:

The Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU)

The Dark Knight Trilogy

The Lord of the Rings Trilogy

Star Wars

Star Trek II, IV, First Contact, Nemesis, 2009, Into Darkness

The Princess Bride

The Harry Potter Series

Literature

Happy Potter Series

Inheritance Cycle

Deltora Quest Series

Live-Action TV:

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Bones

Castle

Doctor Who

Star Trek: Next Gen, Voyager, Enterprise

Criminal Minds

CSI

Firefly

Grimm

Video Games:

LEGO Video Games

Legend of Zelda Series

Ultimate Marvel Vs Capcom 3

Injustice: Gods Among Us

Dragon Age Series

Western Animation:

DCAU- Batman: The Animated Series, Justice League/Unlimited, Batman Beyond

Teen Titans

Danny Phantom

Avatar: The Last Airbender/Legend of Korra

Gravity Falls

Star Wars: The Clone Wars/Rebels

Steven Universe

Young Justice

Music: (Bands/Artists)

Two Steps From Hell

Audiomachine

Lindsay Sterling

Peter Hollens

Imagine Dragons

One Republic

Owl City

Fall Out Boy

"Weird Al" Yankovic

Skillet

Evanescence

Queen

AC/DC

Maroon 5

The Piano Guys

Pentatonix

Other:

BIONICLE

RWBY

Worm

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