Chapter 2: Trial By Combat

The bravest of souls are often found in the meekest of hearts. These souls are often hidden, buried by their surroundings, their anxieties, and desire for peace until they are ripped free from the soil of their fears by the unflinching hand of trauma. Some rise to the occasion, while others are crushed by it...

Unit-01 Evangelion Bay, Geofront, March 2015

Misato whipped her head towards Gendo, a look of shock on her face. "Launch the Eva? We can't! Unit-00 can't provide any support. It's useless if it's grounded."

After a moment, she turned to look towards Unit-01, and her eyes widened still further as she turned to regard Ritsuko. "Wait a minute. Unit-01? You can't be serious."

Ritsuko's face was hard as stone as she looked resolutely back at Misato. "It's our only choice. As you said, Unit-00 is grounded. This is the only functional Unit that we can send."

"And what about Rei?" Misato retorted. "She's in no shape to be piloting anything, especially an Eva, especially into a high-risk combat situation. Face it, Ritsuko. We don't have any pilots."

Ritsuko barely blinked at this statement of apparent truth. "That's where you're wrong. One has just arrived."

As Misato realized this, her eyes narrowed, and her mouth thinned into a line. "You're crazy."

Ritsuko didn't answer, and instead turned to Shinji. "Shinji Ikari."

He turned to look at her, the realization of what was to come having settled in his mind the moment that his father had ordered the Eva launched. "Yes?"

"You will be this Unit's pilot."

Even knowing it was probably coming, Shinji couldn't help but feel shocked. How was he supposed to do this? Pilot a giant robot, or whatever it was, to defeat a giant monster?

He stated these concerns in no uncertain terms. "I'm expected to pilot this with no training or preparation whatsoever?"

"Exactly." Misato interjected. "It took Rei, Rei Ayanami, 7 months before she could even begin to synchronize with her Unit. What makes you think that we have the time to make sure he does?"

"All I ask is that he sits in the cockpit." Ritsuko cooly replied.

"And what?" Misato replied hotly. "He shouldn't. You can't."

Ritsuko didn't even flinch. "Our first priority is to defeat the Angels, using any means available to us. So, any pilot that's even remotely capable of synchronizing has to be used. No matter their experience. You should understand the duties of a soldier, Captain Katsuragi."

Misato seemed to deflate at this, the fire in her eyes replaced with an inner thoughtfulness. "You're right." There was defeat in that voice that was only a moment ago filled with fire.

Shinji finally spoke again. "And what if I refuse? What if I acknowledge the fact that sometimes, no pilot is better than an untrained one?"

Ritsuko began to speak, but Commander Ikari cut her off with a voice seemingly from God himself.

"There is no choice in this matter, Shinji. Either you will be a pilot, or the world will be destroyed. You will get in the Eva, and you will fight the Third Angel. They will explain how to pilot the Eva."

Misato gasped, looking back up to Gendo. "Commander, I can't allow-"

"Captain."

Misato's reply died on her lips instantly, and she shut her mouth and looked back to Ritsuko with a desperation that seemed almost out of place on her face.

Shinji finally looked up, a fire beginning to stoke behind his eyes even as tears began to well up. How was this fair? How could his father, the man who he had come all this way for, expect this of him? To risk his life piloting something even a genius seemed unqualified for?

The fire grew hotter. "And what if I still refuse? What if I refuse to believe this is why you've called me, your own son, back after all this time?"

"Stop wasting everyone's time. Either you will get in the Eva, or you will get out."

"No. I can't!" Shinji shouted in desperation. "I'll just put too many other lives at stake. Too many could die because of me!"

The small silence that followed was pierced by Gendo's cool, hard voice. "Then we will use the First Child. And you will return to where you came from."

At that moment, a thunderous rumble shook the room, then another. It seemed that the Angel had found them, and was making its way towards them even now.

Yet Shinji could do nothing but look up at that distant room, tears beginning to flow freely from his eyes. This wasn't fair. He couldn't do this. How could anyone? How could a father expect this of his son, his only son?

The words of Ritsuko and Misato, of the other people around him, seemed impossibly distant compared to these immensely pressing thoughts.

As these thoughts made a storm of his mind, a door on the left opened, and a medical team rolled in a gurney and a drip rack. On the gurney, wrapped in bandages almost from head to toe and wearing a strange skintight bodysuit, lay a person that Shinji could not believe he would see again.

It was the blue-haired girl, or Rei apparently. How did Father expect her to pilot this thing in that state? She stared at the ceiling with an empty, yet piercing crimson eye, the only one that wasn't covered by bandages. She seemed to struggle out of the gurney, wincing and groaning in obvious pain. Shinji couldn't believe it.

Then, a still louder thundering than before signaled that the Angel had made significant progress. The room shuddered around them, throwing Rei off of the gurney and tossing Shinji onto the floor. The lights above swayed and shook and then broke free, right above Shinji's head.

Misato screamed, starting to move towards him. But she would be too slow. Shinji was sure of it. And so, for the seemingly umpteenth time today, Shinji prepared to die.

Then a massive shadow crossed over him with a massive splash of the liquid around him, the clatter of the lights hitting something other than Shinji's frail body echoing throughout the vast room. Shinji looked up, and saw the hand of Unit-01, splayed out above him as a shield. The entire room stood there in a shocked uproar.

"It moved! The Eva moved!"

"That's impossible! Those restraints should have held it!" More voices, Ritsuko and Misato's included, joined the clamor.

But Shinji barely heard them. His focus was on Rei, splayed out on the ground in obvious agony. After a moment of shock at still being alive somehow, Shinji rose to his feet, and made his way to the girl, kneeling beside her and lifting her to a sitting position. "Are you okay?"

Rei looked at Shinji with that same emptiness, shuddering in pain, seemingly unable to answer. Shinji lifted his hand from her arm and found blood on his palm. Shinji's mind continued to reel.

'Don't run away. I can't run away. I mustn't! What do I do? What do I do?'

Then, Shinji's mind settled on a memory that made itself into a rock, words that burned through him and filled him with bravery that almost shocked him. 'However it works out, I believe in you, I have faith in you, even when no one else does.'

Shinji lifted his head, his eyes dry and set in resolve. "Alright. I'll pilot the Eva."

. . .

Shinji found himself whisked away from the bay, led up the frame surrounding the arm that had broken free, and waited in front of a massive white tube as the controlled chaos of preparing the Eva to launch swirled around him.

A technician clipped some things to his hair, then helped him into the pilot seat inside, and shut the door, locking it, and plunging him into darkness. Again. 'Seriously, when will the whole "leave him in darkness" thing let up?' he thought with no small amount of exasperation.

"Initiating Level 1 contact."

With a hum, the tube, the Entry Plug they called it, slowly began to move forward, then a whir preceded the stillness that stated he was… somewhere, at least. Then, with a quick flash of light and a hiss, a rainbow of colors lit up the inside of the Plug, finally bringing him into the light, and allowing him to see his controls clearly.

"Entry Plug flooding."

'What? Flooding?' As Shinji looked down, he noted with growing alarm as the tube was filled with a strange, orange liquid. It came suddenly to his legs, then his chest, and he sucked in one last great breath before it enveloped his head. Why were they trying to drown him after all this trouble?

"Breathe in, Shinji," Ritsuko's voice echoed calmly in the Plugs comms. "It's made so that you'll be oxygenated without needing air. You'll get used to it."

Hearing this, and still not entirely believing it, Shinji opened his mouth and allowed the liquid to rush into his lungs. It burned at first, but then it felt… normal. That was strange in and of itself. "This is so weird." he wondered aloud.

"There's no time to get used to it right now, Shinji," Misato nearly shouted. "Be a big boy and get ready."

Shinji nodded, for all it was worth. Even now, it was starting to become less weird.

Then the mysterious voice from before spoke again. "Initiating Level 2 contact."

The hazy, underwater view of the liquid suddenly disappeared, as if the tube was empty again. "A10 connection confirmed and stable. LCL ionization levels nominal."

A flurry of other terms flew around and through Shinji's mind as the tube disappeared in front of him, then a view of the gantry surrounding the Eva came into view. "All statuses on initial contact are green. Network established. Synchronization reading at 44.5 percent."

"Not bad for the first time ever in an Eva, Shinji," Misato said over the comms.

Ritsuko peered at the monitor of one of the bridge crew, her eyes wide in wonderment. "Not bad? This is incredible. These readings blow past even my most optimistic initial estimates." Ritsuko turned back to Misato. "This is going to work." she said with utter surety.

Misato looked back to the main screen, determination manifested in her gaze. "Unit-01, prepare to launch!"

The commands and call-outs reached a fever pitch as the Eva, wrapped in the steel cocoon of the gantry, slowly was extracted, revealing a massive humanoid frame, true to its title, that had the tall and lanky figure of a runner or a basketball player, covered in armor from head to toe, with tall pylons on the shoulders framing a head protected by a sleek, aerodynamic helmet, save for the massive, singular horn that jutted from its forehead like that of a unicorn. It was a fitting detail for what seemed a thing out of legends, a giant forged of flesh and steel and given the sole purpose of the defense of the world from all that would destroy it.

The operator, identified on an open panel on Shinji's screen as "Control" spoke again. "Transport Eva Unit-01 to Launch Bay 02."

With a whirring roar, the platform holding the Eva moved backward, the now-empty gantry he once inhabited slowly shrinking out of view. With a dull thunk, Shinji and the Eva locked into what he assumed was Launch Bay 02. "Launch Tube is clear. All boards are green. We are ready to go." Control said once more.

Misato turned and looked at the sight, caught on the internal monitoring system and splashed upon a large panel in the massive main screen that dominated the far wall of the command center. Then she turned and looked to Commander Ikari, looking to all the world like a general or lord behind his elevated desk. "Permission to launch the Eva, sir."

Gendo gave only the slightest nod. "Absolutely, Captain. Permission granted. Everything rests on defeating the Angels."

Beside him, Deputy Commander Fuyutsuki, his right-hand man, turned slightly. "Sir, are you sure about this?" he asked quietly.

Gendo offered no reply. But under the tent of his hands, a small smile crept across his face. It was all going as intended.

Below, Captain Katsuragi turned, and with the voice of a valkyrie, gave her command. "LAUNCH THE EVA!"

. . .

With a loud, electric snap, the restraints keeping the Eva secure were released, and it rocketed up the shaft, Shinji straining under the pressure of the g-force pushing down with a strength that Shinji felt was not unlike what being under the Eva's hand might have felt like.

Eventually, the elevator slammed to a stop, having reached a surface cloaked by night. Before him stood his enemy, once seemingly massive, now almost comparable in height with him. As it faced him, the massive round jewel embedded in its chest glowed with an ominous light.

Misato's voice interrupted their silent showdown. "Alright, Shinji. This is the moment of truth. Are you ready?"

Shinji steeled his gaze on the motionless Angel. "As much as I'll really be."

"Release the final locks!" Misato shouted. At her command, the final struts securing the arms and shoulder pylons opened, and the Eva hunched forward slightly.

The calm voice of Ritsuko, which Shinji had come to appreciate somewhat, rang through the cockpit again. "Alright, Shinji. Try to walk. Don't worry about the controls in front of you, just focus your mind on it."

Shinji hardly understood what that meant. Why were the controls there then? Regardless, he focused as hard as he could on the concept, the truth as he knew it, of walking. Incredibly, the Eva seemed to respond to this, taking one ponderous, thundering step. Then another. Then another.

Then the ground seemed to rush forward towards Shinji as Unit-01 misstepped, and fell face-first into the street below. It stung as much as actually falling on his face did, which he very much did not expect.

Through the pins and needles of pain, Misato's voice edged in. "Shinji, you need to get up, now!"

Shinji looked up, and the Angel loomed over him, reaching down and grabbing the Unit's face in a vice-like grip. As Shinji rose into the air, his mind reeling, as the Angel took the Unit's arm and crushed it in a vice-like grip, as Ritsuko nearly shouted at him to simply think of doing something, a memory, seemingly random, came to him from long ago.

An 11-year-old Shinji sat with Daniel at the local park, a beautiful and quiet place, and one of Shinji's favorite spots. He and Daniel were taking their time going home from a recital well done, Shinji trusting Daniel to carry his precious cello home.

Eventually, Daniel had slowed. "Let's take a second off our feet, shall we?" he said, as he walked over to the shade of a fair old oak, gently setting the cello against it and sitting down, as the afternoon breeze rustled the leaves overhead. Shinji went to sit next to him, and they spent a minute in companionable silence.

Daniel finally broke the silence after a moment. "You did good today, Shinji," he said with a small smile. "The solo for Dvořák's Cello Concerto takes no small effort, especially at your age."

Shinji blushed, as he still always seemed to do when faced with Daniel's praise. "Come on, I did okay. You can't think I was a savant or anything like that."

Daniel chuckled. "I don't expect you to be." He said this in his endlessly patient tone, as he always did when Shinji said such things. "But you're improving, with that piece and as an artist."

Shinji somehow blushed even deeper, and Daniel laughed. But Shinji was okay with Daniel laughing at him, at least.

"Now, I'm going to ask you something odd, and I'd like you to humor me," Daniel said. "Do you think you can do that?"

Shinji, confused somewhat, had still nodded. "Now," he said, turning himself to face Shinji, "I want you to close your eyes." Shinji, confused, did so.

"Now," Daniel continued, "picture yourself as a giant, tall as a skyscraper. Can you see the city around you?"

Shinji tried to visualize a city. He had seen pictures, so he could at least try. "I think so, yeah."

"Good," Daniel said, sounding pleased. "Now, imagine walking down the street."

Shinji did so for a moment. "Okay, what next?" he asked.

"Okay, now I want you to try something that might seem a little weird." Daniel said patiently.

Shinji cracked an eye open to peer at Daniel. "And what might that be?"

Daniel noticed his peeking. "Keep focusing on the city." Shinji closed his eye again, recapturing the image of the city and walking down it like a giant.

"Now," Daniel said, "focus on thinking through the action of walking. See yourself taking the step in your mind's eye, then take it."

It took a lot of effort not to open his eyes this time. "What does that mean?"

Daniel took a moment before he replied. "Well, can you visualize the thought of walking?"

Shinji nodded. "Yeah, I guess."

Daniel continued on. "If you can visualize the thought, you can also follow that thought as it becomes a reality. Can you do that?"

Shinji thought he understood, but he was still confused. "Why does this matter?"

Daniel grunted and shrugged. "Well, it can be calming. You can use it to focus and to break down the steps of what goes through your head and out into the world. It can even help you better play the music that you love. Does that make sense?"

Shinji nodded hesitantly after a moment. "Yeah, I guess so."

It was starting to make some sense. See the thought he had, then see how it became the actions he took. It did sound like it would be helpful, at least somewhat.

"Good," Daniel said, noticeably pleased. "Remember, if something seems hard to do, try to see how the thought becomes the actions you need to take."

Thought becomes the actions.

Thought becomes action.

The memory was blown away in a blindingly painful flash as the Angel hit Unit-01, and thus Shinji, in the eye with its spear. He desperately tried to hang on to what Daniel had said, and what he had learned from so long ago as the Angel hit him again, alarms and voices creating high-pitched background noise. Thought becomes action.

Of course.

So Shinji fixed the thought of what he had to do to escape, and then he willed it to become a reality.

Before the Angel could spear his eye a third time, the Unit's right arm flashed up, catching the Angel's arm in a crushing grip. The Angel, seeming almost taken aback by this resistance, hesitated for a moment, relaxing its death grip. As it did, Shinji brought the Unit's dangling left arm swinging around, using it as a flailing bludgeon to bat the arm away from gripping him. Free from the Angel's grip, at last, he fell awkwardly to the ground, the power cord attached to his back causing him to tumble sideways.

Shinji could only barely hear the riotous cheers in the comm panel over the ringing pain in his eye socket. What Misato said, however, he heard clear as day. "Amazing, Shinji! Quickly, get up!"

Shinji struggled onto his hands and knees, but the Angel, with an ear-piercing screech, kicked the Eva in its side, sending it flying into one of the skyscrapers, the impact nearly sending it crashing down on top of him.

Shinji barely stood up and quickly stumbled out of the way before the Angel's eyes flashed, and a tide of pink light rushed to fill the void where he once stood.

Unit-01 stumbled and teetered away from the Angel like a drunkard, Shinji doing his best to fight through the pain pounding away in his arm and skull. Misato's voice once again cut through the haze enough for Shinji to understand it. "Shinji, there's a building about a kilometer ahead. It's going to have a weapon for you. Keep going!"

Shinji thought he could see it, clearly marked "Massive Ordnance Depot, Site 3A", and began his stumble towards it. Before he could get too far, the world lit up with a familiar hellish purple glow, the towers around Shinji beginning to cast long shadows.

Shinji stumbled faster, desperately trying to outrun the Angel he knew was descending on him. But with all the certainty of fate, it landed in front of him, barring his way to the weapons, and in his headlong rush, he could not turn away from the Angel's outstretched arms.

Its hands gripped him once again, one settling to where it had held him before on the Eva's face, and the other crushing his left shoulder. Before he could react, both spears slid back, and with a blinding white light, speared him through, sending him flying into the building behind him.

All he could see, all he could feel, all he even knew at that moment was pain. Nothing else registered, except for the massive darkness sweeping towards him. He accepted that darkness, and before he relinquished all sense, he heard a low, almost human growl, and he felt… something. Something that felt… familiar?

It didn't really matter right now, as he finally slipped away into unconsciousness.

Next Time on Apotheosis Echo...

Shinji awakens to his situation and is taken in by a kind Misato, which leads to more than Shinji could ever predict. Will Shinji find the comfort and sanctuary he needs in this unfamiliar place? Next Episode: A Matter of Closeness.