Chapter 13: Reflections in a Black Sea
Self-reflection is a highly beneficial thing. However, the sort of thing that Leliel did… I could hardly call it that. I still have nightmares about what happened that day. The unexpected. The dreaded. All things that I could have stopped if I wanted to. It would have been so easy. But I am not a god. I have no right to be, after…
Regardless, there is a silver lining to the ordeal. What blossomed in its wake, and what caused some to begin thinking. Questioning. The Scenario began to unravel ever faster...
Early December 2015
Misato stood on the command bridge of Central Dogma, mind still reeling from the revelations she and Kaji had been party to only a few days ago. Almost against her will, she thought back on just a few of the things that she had learned in Kaji's hidden shack in the Geofront, in the middle of a watermelon patch, of all places.
The white giant: Lilith, the "Second Angel", which was apparently, according to ancient scrolls found at the Dead Sea in the Middle East decades ago, the progenitor of all life on Earth, up to and including the human race. Adam, who was related to her… it? She stuck with her, as the progenitor of the Angels, but was still different from Lilith, somehow.
Instrumentality: the process in which SEELE, better known as the Human Instrumentality Committee, or the bastards who had awoken Adam, would turn all the people of the world into LCL in order to achieve some sort of godhood. That plan was both baffling and terrifying in equal measure.
The Marduk Institute: a sham. Kaji had figured that out for himself, but even he was somewhat shocked to find that the process for choosing the pilot of any given Evangelion was entirely up to Ritsuko.
The Evangelions… Misato barely wanted to think about them. What they were made of. What powered them. Who powered them. 'Shinji… Asuka… Rei… my god. What have we done to you?'
Her slightly horrified reverie was cut short as the personal elevator to the command bridge clicked into place, signaling someone's arrival. She turned and looked at the new arrival from NERV-3.
She was a surprisingly tall woman, thin and clearly fit, like a dancer. Her olive skin and bob-cut chestnut brown hair was accentuated by startlingly intense green eyes that swept around their new environment with cool, practiced ease.
That gaze soon settled on Misato as she stepped forward and saluted. "First Lieutenant Adira Faez reporting for duty, Major." she said in surprisingly decent Japanese.
Misato saluted back, and as both dropped the salute, she stretched out a hand. "Welcome to NERV HQ, Lieutenant Faez. As I'm sure you know, I'm Major Misato Katsuragi. You'll be taking Captain Hyuga's former position, correct?"
Lieutenant Faez nodded. "Yes, ma'am. I understand I'll be assigned to the Operations Division that oversees combat missions, correct?"
Misato nodded. "Yes, that is the case, but you'll be on hand for other duties, as well. For example, we have a synchronization test that we will be observing and taking part in later today. I want you to hang close to First Lieutenant Ibuki then. She's second in command of the Science Division and is…" she paused for a moment and looked over her shoulder. "Right there. Maya!"
Maya turned around from her console, a slightly puzzled look on her face disappearing as she waved at First Lieutenant Faez.
Faez, for her part, awkwardly raised her hand in greeting as Maya turned back to her console.
Misato continued. "And now you know what she looks like. Keep an eye on how we monitor the synchronization rates for the Evangelions. That will be part of your initiation here. We expect you to be well-rounded in your skills."
Faez nodded, a small smirk tugging at a corner of her mouth. "I'm used to that, ma'am. 'Well rounded' was a necessity in the field. Especially in a helmet. Kept you from getting domed unexpectedly."
Misato stifled a snort. "I know what you mean. You served in the Impact Wars too?"
Faez nodded. "Yes, ma'am. Valkyrie Division of the United States Army."
Misato's eyebrows rose. "The all-female unit? You have my well-earned respect, Lieutenant."
"Thank you." Faez said with a small nod.
Misato smiled. "Not a problem." she turned and walked towards the front of the command bridge, motioning for Faez to follow. They stopped in front of another console, as Misato put a hand on the shoulder of the person occupying it.
"And this is Captain Hyuga, your immediate superior." Misato said as Hyuga turned around, standing up and saluting to Misato. "Hyuga, this is First Lieutenant Faez. She'll be taking your place here and reporting to you. You'll also be guiding her through the first few weeks she works here. I assume that you have that taken care of?"
Hyuga nodded. 'Yes, ma'am. Everything has been arranged so that she'll be able to learn all of her duties here."
Misato nodded. "Very well. I look forward to seeing the results." she turned to Faez again, a small smile on her face. "One last thing." Faez tilted her head slightly, giving no other indication of her puzzlement. "What do you say to meeting over drinks at the end of the day?"
Faez's brow arched slightly. "Why so, if I may ask, ma'am?"
Misato shrugged. "I simply find that getting to know my coworkers over drinks makes working with them easier. And besides, you probably have a lot of interesting stories from your time in the field. If you're willing to share, I'll tell you some of mine?"
Faez shifted slightly. She didn't speak for a moment, then gave a slight smile. "Would that be an order, ma'am?"
Misato shook her head slightly. "Do I have to make it an order for you to relax?" she said in a slightly more teasing tone than either Hyuga or Faez expected.
Faez shifted again, then sighed slightly after a moment, rolling her eyes. "No, ma'am. I suppose not."
Misato gave a warm smile. "Excellent. I'll see you at the cafe up at the top of the pyramid." she turned to Hyuga. "Alright, Hyuga, I leave her in your care. And I'll see you two at the synchronization test later today." she sighed heavily, a forlorn look coming over her face like a storm cloud. "I have paperwork to go be worried about."
As she walked off, Faez turned to Hyuga, who chuckled. "Yeah, that's Major Katsuragi for you. I think you'll find that we're a little more informal than you might have expected."
Faez shrugged. "I guess it isn't a bad thing. I mean, it's not like she's going to get shot here, of all places. I guess I can afford to relax a little." She nodded to Hyuga. "So, what am I expected to do?"
Hyuga nodded and gestured towards his station. "Alright, here is where you are going to be nine times out of ten in a combat situation…"
The Children settled into the Test Plugs, and the day's synchronization test began in earnest. As the Plugs hummed and the Children within them concentrated, Misato looked over at Hyuga and Faez, seated next to Maya as they worked and Faez observed intently.
From what she had seen of her since the initial meeting, Faez seemed to soak up information like a sponge and was able to recall it nearly perfectly. Misato had her figured for field intelligence. She was clearly a soldier, and a damn good one at that if she was a part of the Valkyrie Division.
Misato nodded. She would make life interesting around here. There was no doubt about that. If nothing else, it was clear that she had more than a few stories. Whether or not she would tell any of them… well, that was another matter entirely.
Misato's mood shifted as Ritsuko moved over to study Maya's display. Knowing what she did now, Ritsuko had become something… more than what she once was. It sometimes seemed that the Ritsuko that she knew was gone, replaced by something… sinister. A player of a game that used the Children as pawns, used her as a pawn.
But there were still hints of the person that she had been friends with in college. There was still someone she was trying to rebuild bridges with. She didn't know what to feel about Ritsuko anymore. And for some reason, that terrified her more than anything else.
Ritsuko, unaware of this conflict within Misato, nodded at the readings of the pilot's synchronization scores. "My, that's quite impressive. Shinji's made a 4 point jump since the last time that we tested. He's nearly caught up with Asuka. Are these results stable, or is he fluctuating?"
Maya nodded as she looked at the monitor, motioning for Faez to look at the screen with her. "No, ma'am. He seems to be holding at 75%."
She glanced over at Faez. "See the comparisons between the three pilots? This upper bar," she said, gesturing to a line at the top of the graph of the three pilot's scores, "is the percentage we find is the best for allowing the pilots to use their Evangelions to maximum effect." Faez nodded silently in understanding.
Ritsuko pointed to another bar on the graph. "It looks like Asuka made a jump in score too. She's now at 78%." she shook her head slightly. "Still the best, as she would like it. I wonder what could have happened to create such a jump between the two of them."
Maya looked up at Ritsuko. "Maybe they're just finally comfortable working around each other now. They've had time to settle into their roles here. Maybe they just finally know what the status quo is for them."
Misato felt a small smile tug at her mouth. "Maybe they finally started dating." she said coyly. "They have been dancing around each other for ages now."
Maya blushed slightly while Ritsuko regarded Misato coolly. "Like you and Kaji?" she said without inflection.
Misato looked back with no small amount of blushing evident in her cheeks. "You know it's not like that, Ritsuko."
Ritsuko continued to stare calmly at Misato. "Come on. It's written all over your face. I'm sure even Aoba could tell."
Misato turned back to look out the window of the observation room while Ritsuko walked over to another monitor to look at some other set of readings, and Maya noticed Faez regarding the both of them with no small amount of confusion. She leaned over to the new Lieutenant. "They're old college friends." she whispered.
Faez nodded. "Ah. That makes sense." she said quietly.
Maya nodded in turn, a sad look crossing her face. "Though 'friend' is starting to look like a strong way to put it."
As Faez processed this, Misato keyed up the link to the pilots after looking over some more of the readings. "Shinji? Can you hear me?"
On the screen, a seemingly serene Shinji opened his eyes and looked up. He seemed happier than usual. The smile on his face seemed brighter, somehow. "Yes, Misato? How is my score?"
Misato cracked a smile. "You're just behind Asuka by three points. Who knows, you might match her one day."
Asuka opened her eyes as she heard this. "Maybe due to my excellent training, Misato. But even then, he'll still be chasing me. It's not as though I'm going to stop trying to be the best. That would be ridiculous!"
Misato rolled her eyes as she shook her head and smiled. "Of course, Asuka."
She looked at Rei, serene on the screen, and couldn't quite suppress the flash of memory of the massive pile of medications that Rei had taken, all with Ritsuko's name on them. "So, Rei," Misato said, pausing as Rei opened her eyes, "you've been making good progress, too. I think that this is the highest synch score I've ever seen you achieve! Good work!"
Rei nodded slightly as an equally slight smile came to her face. "Thank you, Major Katsuragi."
Shinji, Asuka, and Rei all decided to walk home after the test concluded. It gave them an opportunity to stretch their legs, and Misato wasn't going to be able to get them home tonight due to her other duties.
Rei lagged slightly behind Shinji and Asuka, taking in the light of their souls. It was a mesmerizing thing, as always, though they were strangely skittish of showing any of their love and want for each other in public. Rei wondered why for a moment, and then decided to simply ask them. "Shinji. Asuka."
They both slowed slightly, looking back at Rei as she began to catch up with them. "Yeah? What is it, Rei?" Asuka asked, a slightly puzzled look on her face.
"You two are attracted to each other. So why do you not show it in public settings? Is it a secret?" Rei asked quietly.
Asuka and Shinji both began to blush as Asuka sighed heavily and looked up with a pained expression. "Are we really that obvious? Really?"
Shinji shook his head after a moment of looking around to ensure that they were, in fact, alone. "Well, Asuka," he said slowly, "we can only really count the number of people who know on one hand still. I think it's okay to let her know."
Asuka stared at Shinji with barely restrained annoyance for a silent moment, then sighed. "Fine."
She took a moment to gather her thoughts as her blush faded. With a deep breath, Asuka began to speak. "So, you know what it's like to fully find out something that you only vaguely had an idea about, right?"
Rei nodded after a moment, a small smile on her face. "Yes, Asuka. I have you to thank for that."
Asuka nodded. "Yeah. It's like that but… I don't even know how to really describe it. The whole world has changed in an instant, and I'm not even sure what to make of it. Neither of us are, really."
She paused for a moment, as she reached out and grabbed Shinji's hand. "But we can't let anyone know. Especially if they're from NERV. Then… then they would separate us, even with as much as I would kick and scream about it. And then I couldn't find out more about this thing I had just discovered."
Asuka shook her head after a moment. "Oh, what am I saying? I probably don't make any sense right now."
Rei shook her head slightly. "No, Asuka. That does make sense. As I must hide the fact that I have begun to go off my medications from Commander Ikari, fearing he will separate me from my newfound perception of the world, you, too, must hide your relationship from our superiors at NERV, due to your fear that you will be separated from experiencing what you two wish to experience."
Asuka and Shinji nodded slowly. "In so many words, yes, Wondergirl. You hit the nail on the head." Asuka said after a moment.
Rei nodded. "Your secret is safe with me. You can trust me not to tell anyone else you do not wish to know."
Shinji nodded. "And you're the sort of person I think we can trust when you say that. Thank you, Rei."
Rei's smile grew slightly wider. "You are welcome, Shinji."
Asuka nodded. "Well, at least we can be sure we'll be okay when we tell her that we're going on a date tonight after we finish our schoolwork." she said. "Though I don't think we'll go on a 'proper date' anytime soon." she mumbled.
Rei nodded. "You have mentioned what it is like to go on a date with someone." she paused for a moment. "Asuka, do you have any recommendations as to who would be a potential candidate for me to go on a date with?"
Asuka looked at Rei with genuine surprise now, and Shinji's eyes widened. "Oh… well…" Asuka said, looking down as she blushed. "Well… I mean, I might not be the best person to ask about that. Hikari has been the one that's set me up most often. But if you don't want to go to her…"
Asuka puffed out her cheeks for a moment. "I mean, Toji's already being scoped out by Hikari." A muttered "still don't know what she sees in the dolt" didn't pass by anyone unnoticed before she continued. "And most everyone else at school is either not interested in dating or is dating someone already… except Kensuke."
Asuka scoffed. "Though I don't know about that. He's more than a little weird, as I'm sure you can tell."
Rei looked down and was silent for a moment before she looked back at the other two Children. "Well, Kensuke is intelligent, driven, and passionate about what he likes. He may have unique ways of showing that passion and intelligence, but that is not necessarily a negative trait."
Silence fell over the group as Shinji and Asuka considered the surprisingly insightful look into Kensuke that they had received from their friend. "Rei," Asuka said after a moment, "that is perhaps the first compliment I have ever heard about Kensuke. From anyone, really. Good job, Rei."
Rei nodded slightly as they entered the parking lot for their apartment. "Thank you, Asuka."
It was a quiet, sunny afternoon. In the city, everything cast some sort of shadow. The buildings, the streetlights, the shades over the shop windows, the cars.
It was beneath one such car that its shadow seemed to take up a life of its own, as the darkness spread unnaturally from beneath the body of the car, undulating like a churning sea as it spread to encompass the street, then the entire block. Then, everything within the shadow's grasp rippled, as white light seemed to emanate from it, the shadow pooling up into the sky in an instant to form a massive sphere.
. . .
Alarms screamed in Central Dogma as Misato hurriedly stepped off the elevator onto the command bridge, coming to a stop beside Captain Hyuga and Ritsuko. "What the hell is going on?" she said as she looked in baffled awe at the main screen, which showed the ominous, massive black and white striped sphere hovering silently over the city. Leliel. That was what Daniel called it in the meeting two weeks ago.
Faez turned and looked at the trio. "Contact appeared over the north-eastern districts as of 15 minutes ago and has been moving south-west at about 2.5 klicks per hour."
Aoba turned as well. "Evacuation of the surrounding districts is complete, ma'am. The rest of the city will be evacuated within the hour."
Maya turned to face them all. "We're getting a Pattern Orange on the unidentified object. No AT Field detected. The Magi is withholding judgment on whether or not it is an Angel."
Misato shook her head. "Not an Angel? Come on, look at it! How could it not be an Angel?" she growled slightly and shook her head. "And where is Commander Ikari at a time like this?" she said under her breath.
She looked back up at the screen. "What's the status of the Evas?"
Daniel walked up beside Misato from his console. "They've been deployed and are arming at various weapons stations surrounding the contact."
Misato looked at the main screen as three panels appeared on it, each a camera feed of one of the Evangelions pressed against the taller buildings for cover. Unit-01 held the rarely used Pallet Magnum, Unit-02 hefted a Progressive Ax, and Unit-00 held back, sighting a massive sniper rifle.
A wireframe hologram stretched out below them, showing a spiderweb-like view of the city, the contact an appropriately orange sphere hovering above, and the three dots of the Units roughly 4 or 5 kilometers from it.
Misato looked to Faez. "Open a link to the Evas."
Faez nodded, and soon the three pilots themselves showed up on a screen that had appeared on the low wall of the command bridge.
"Alright, pilots," Misato said, all business now, "we're sending you what little data we have on this thing. Observe its reactions for the moment, and lure it out of the city's airspace if you can."
She paused for a moment. "We're going to be cautious with this thing. One of you takes point in investigating it, while the other two provide backup."
"Yes, ma'am!" Asuka said, a cheery smile offset by eyes full of confidence. "I'll go ahead and take point. Shinji can be my immediate backup, and Rei can stay back and watch out for us in case this thing does anything stupid."
Asuka turned to a panel showing Shinji's face in the Entry Plug. "So, do you think you can keep up?"
A small smile tugged at the corner of Shinji's mouth as he nodded. "I can do it. After all, I'm not that far behind you, am I?"
Asuka's brows, along with much of the command bridge's, rose in at least slight surprise in Shinji's seemingly sudden boost in courage. Asuka simply sniffed after a moment. "Maybe so, but as impressive as you being so close behind me is, you're still behind me nevertheless. Right now, the one that matters is being behind me in this operation. I better be able to count on you to have my back. Got it?"
Shinji nodded. "Got it."
A satisfied smirk on her lips, Asuka nodded with assurance. "Alright then. Like I said, Shinji, stay on me and make sure we don't die. Rei, keep an eye on the goth balloon."
Rei blinked in slight confusion, then nodded. "Very well, pilot Soryu. I will watch the target."
She finished sighting in the sniper rifle she held, then settled in to watch and wait as the other two Units slowly made their way towards the target.
Misato shook her head slightly as the link to the pilots was muted. "And off they go. They've grown so confident." she said, a look of wonderment in her eyes.
Ritsuko nodded. "Shinji especially. I almost can't believe he's the same Child who we rushed into the Entry Plug earlier this year. He's grown."
Misato nodded. "That he has. And he and Asuka seem to be getting along much better." she chuckled slightly as she turned to Daniel, smiling slightly. "I guess acting as a teacher helped her realize how valuable being a good teammate is, huh?"
Daniel nodded, a smile of his own coming to him. "So it would seem, Misato. It's good to see them working together like they did with Israfel."
Misato sighed. "Yeah, but that working together is sometimes a real pain in the ass. I'm glad Asuka's enthusiasm is seeming to rub off on Shinji, but they do still need to work on restraining that enthusiasm."
Daniel chuckled. "I won't disagree on that. You'd probably make a good teacher yourself, someday. What with all this experience wrangling teenagers."
Misato looked at him with a slight smirk that settled into a somewhat more serious look. "Maybe. We just have to beat the Angels first. And make sure that I don't strangle these kids for driving me insane."
Daniel snorted softly as he looked back at the map. "Were it so easy."
Misato turned back to the holographic map, watching as the two dots of Unit-01 and Unit-02 approached the silent titan.
. . .
Shinji and Asuka crept from building to building, constantly glancing up at the silent… thing that hung in the middle of the sky. Shinji looked at it with puzzlement as he absentmindedly changed umbilical cables to have more slack. 'I don't see eyes or a core, or… really much of anything that would identify this thing as an Angel. Where do we attack this thing? Do we even attack it conventionally at all?'
He blinked. Those questions would be answered later, he was sure. Right now, all he needed was an update. "Rei, Asuka, are you two in position?"
The other two pilot's faces soon appeared on the screens to his left and right. Rei nodded. "I am in position, pilot Ikari."
Asuka nodded in turn. "One moment, I'm out of slack for my umbilical. Changing out now. I'm about 400 meters ahead and to your right, by the way, Shinji."
After a moment, Asuka spoke again. "Okay, Shinji, here's the plan. I'm going to clamber up some of these buildings to get to a decent height, and then I'm going to take a jump and swing at this thing. If that doesn't work for some reason, you and Rei open up on it while I find something more useful. Sounds good?"
Shinji and Rei each nodded. Asuka nodded in turn. "Alright. Let's burst this thing's bubble."
Asuka clambered up one of the skyscrapers near her position, then jumped from rooftop to rooftop until she reached what she deemed was an acceptable height to swing at the silent sphere.
Then, she crouched down, putting as much of her AT Field as she was confident would not level the building beneath her into strengthening her jump. Then, she leaped into the air, ax raised above her head as she swung the Progressive Ax down to tear through the thing in front of her.
She hit… nothing, to her great surprise, as the sphere vanished in front of her, only reappearing when she hit the ground with a thunderous crash, making footprints several meters deep into the street below her.
In Central Dogma, a gasp went up around the room as the contact reappeared, seemingly no worse for wear. Then, a chilling alarm sounded as the shadows began to spread beneath Unit-02's feet.
"Pattern Blue detected! The Magi have confirmed it is an Angel!" Maya said, her eyes widening. "It's directly below Unit-02!"
Misato's eyes widened in turn. "What? How?"
Asuka looked down as the shadow spread quickly beneath her. "Was zur Hölle?" she muttered as the shadow underlaid itself on everything that she could see. Her confusion did not dull years of training as she clambered up onto the roof of a nearby four-story building, shifting her grip on the Ax uneasily.
Her confusion became alarm as everything in the shadow's perimeter began to slowly sink down, the building beginning to tilt beneath her as she leaped to another building, the feeling of near panic building as she then leaped to another rooftop, and then another.
"How do we kill this thing?" she said in frustration as she tossed the ax at the shadow, her unease continuing to steadily build as she watched it sink into the seemingly bottomless depths without slowing down.
The shadow's perimeter continued to slowly grow as Asuka continued her hurried leaps from rooftop to rooftop. "I'm… almost…" she said slowly as she seemed to finally get close to reaching solid ground again, "to the… scheiße!"
Her next landing pad had dipped beneath her view before she reached it, tilting as it sank. Unit-02's foot hit the lower edge, now only dozens of feet above the black surface, and slipped into it as Asuka gripped madly to the higher edge of the building, finding purchase as her legs slipped up to their calves into the shadow.
All feeling was lost in her legs, the border between what was now under the surface of the shadow and what was not feeling bitterly cold, like standing in a tub of ice water. Asuka's breathing quickened as panic began to set in. "Misato! Misato, I can't feel my legs! It's… it's cold! Help! Please!"
Shinji's hands trembled as they tightly gripped Unit-01's controls. He had never heard her this scared. Ever. It seemed almost impossible to hear what he was hearing from her right now. He had to do something. Anything.
In Central Dogma, Misato leaned against the low wall as she looked at the main screen, squeezing it in a white-knuckle grip. "Eject Unit-02's Entry Plug! Get her out of there!"
Maya shook her head as her monitor returned nothing but error screens. "No response, ma'am! The signal isn't getting through!"
Misato shook her head. "Shinji! Rei! Rescue Asuka, quickly!"
Rei stood up, throwing her rifle aside as she tried to suppress the gnawing fear that grew inside her chest from showing too plainly on her face. "I'm moving in."
Shinji needed no other encouragement as he raced towards a sufficiently low building, clambering up it as fast as he could. As he reached the top, an adrenaline-focused mind picked out the most ideal path in moments, and he began his bounding race towards Asuka.
As he drew nearer, he finally spotted her. She was up to her chest now, one arm waving frantically to try and draw his attention. "Shinji!" she said, panic evident in her voice. "Help me! Hurry!"
Shinji glanced around for a moment and found another building close to Asuka which hadn't completely sunk yet. He leaped over to it, crouching on the already slowly tilting building as he stretched out his hand. "Asuka! Hurry!"
Unit-02's arm grasped desperately onto Unit-01's, and Shinji took the arm into both hands as he began to pull as hard as he could. It was like trying to pull her out of tar, as Unit-02 sank to its chest now. Asuka was getting hysterical. "Shinji, please! Don't let me go, don't let me go, don't let me go! Please!"
Shinji strained all the harder as he continued to try to pull her free. In an instant, he heard a crack coming from below his feet. A distant part of his mind knew what was about to happen. 'Oh, no.'
The edge of the building under his feet crumbled away, and Shinji slipped into the shadow's embrace, landing face first. The entire front of his body went numb, and he knew, in his heart, that it was over.
Rei, only a few buildings away now, watched in horror as Asuka finished disappearing into the shadow completely, and Shinji swiftly started to join her. She couldn't contain her emotion anymore. "Shinji! Asuka! No!"
She jumped to another building. "I'm retrieving Shinji."
"No!" Misato said, her arms trembling as a tear slid down her face. "No, Rei. We can't risk losing all of our pilots." She was silent for a moment before she spoke. "Pull back, Rei. That's an order." her voice quieted as she next spoke. "I can't lose you, too."
Rei paused for a moment, then turned back towards the edge of the shadow. She allowed a single tear to slide down her face. But only one.
Daniel sat at the forward command post and stared at Leliel. One thought had been coursing through his mind for the past four hours since the pilots engaged it. 'This isn't how it should be. This isn't how it should be. This isn't how it should be.'
Eleanor had made her way to the command bridge when she sensed his almost hysterical terror at the moment that things had gone wrong, and now she was at his side, a hand on his shoulder as the others swirled around them, chatter about military units moving to encircle the Angel, whose expansion of its shadow had thankfully stopped, passing through them like air.
Rei Ayanami stood beside the two of them, looking at the seemingly bottomless shadow, but also sparing glances towards her guardians as well. Eleanor's face was evident with worry, and Rei knew that such a reaction would be considered normal in such a situation. What she didn't expect was Daniel's reaction.
All light had seemed to disappear from his eyes, and he regarded the Angel with a calculating stare as if he was dissecting the Angel in his mind. It reminded her all too much of how Gendo Ikari was most days. Cold, distant, and seemingly ready to discard all emotion, all humanity, to achieve his goal. It... scared her, to see her normally good-natured, kind guardian take such a turn in personality.
But she also could not blame him for his reaction. Tensions were running high, and the move towards a forward position had done nothing to ease them. Misato lowered a pair of binoculars from her face, shaking her head slightly. 'The military intends to "apply pressure" to the Angel. Fat chance. The Angel… Leliel… clearly really looks intimidated, doesn't it? Idiots.'
She spared a glance over to Rei and the Theisman's. Rei was ready and raring to go to save her fellow pilots. It was actually somewhat refreshing to see her so worried about… well, anything, really.
The Theisman's were a study of contrasts. She found Eleanor's face full of emotion, her heart seemingly now on her sleeve as she expressed her worry for the pilots without saying a word. It comforted her to know that someone else worried as much as she did, even if she couldn't show it. The burdens of command were heavy right now.
Daniel, on the other hand, uncomfortably reminded her of the commander as he stared silently at the Angel, wound like a coiled spring ready to burst, and she made a silent vow to never get on his bad side.
She walked over to them, putting a hand on Daniel and Rei's shoulder. She felt Daniel slightly shaking. She felt Rei trying desperately not to do the same. Misato looked down at the timer on her phone, a countdown of how much reserve battery Shinji and Asuka had left. Twelve hours. They had twelve hours to come up with a solution. Misato sent a silent, rarely made prayer heavenwards that they would make it in time.
Misato sighed, then looked at Rei. "You go ahead and get some rest, now. We'll figure out how to get Shinji and Asuka back. The last thing we need is to have you strung out when we might need your help."
Rei looked into the now bleak distance and nodded after a moment. "Very well, Major. I will go try and rest." she turned and walked back towards her Evangelion, and the tent that was set up next to it.
Misato sighed, then turned to the Thiesman's. "Ritsuko says that she's made an analysis of the Angel. We should probably go see what she has to say."
They both turned to her, and Misato suppressed a shiver as Daniel looked at her. After a moment, though, the tension left Daniel, and he closed his eyes and sighed. "Yeah. Yeah, we should go do that." he opened his eyes, weariness having entered into them. "It's better than staring at that damn thing all day."
He stood, and the three of them made their way over to the tent that Ritsuko and Maya had taken over, cables and wires flowing from it like mountain streams. As they entered, they situated themselves around the holographic table that had been set up in the center of the usually spacious tent.
Ritsuko looked up at them, then started to speak after a moment. "Alright, I'm not going to lie to you. This Angel is perhaps the most complicated thing I've ever had to explain to any of you, but I'm going to try and make this as simple as possible."
In the silence of the depths of a black sea, the two pilots waited, and waited, and waited some more. It was all either of them could do.
Asuka flipped on the sensors of Unit-02 for what felt like the umpteenth time, as the Plug flashed in rainbow colors before settling in on the view outside of Unit-02. Or the lack thereof. There was nothing but blackness. Radar and sonar showed nothing. For all intents and purposes, she was alone.
"No," she said, muttering to herself to try and push back at the loneliness that seemed intent to try and crush her spirits now. "I'm not alone here. Shinji's with me. For all that counts for." somehow, the thought didn't help.
She switched off the sensors with a sigh, noting the timer on her Plugsuit wrist as it read a little over 5 hours. 5 hours to find a way out of here, blind and deaf, and do it with Shinji in tow. Were it so easy, as Daniel was fond of saying.
She hugged her knees to her chest. It was getting cold. She was starting to miss Shinji's warmth, his presence beside her. She tried to doze off, but that was getting harder and harder to do alone. She had begun to think of the things that Shinji had done for her. For them. The treasured secret date. His delicious cooking. His sinfully good baking. She opened her eyes with a sigh. She missed him. Those words held so much more meaning than they once did. They had all the weight of a newfound love behind them.
Shinji, in the meantime, sat quietly as he pondered just how useless he had become. 'All of this, all of this to save Asuka, to save someone I love, and I still failed. I couldn't do anything to help her. How can I save the world if I can't even save one person?'
His mind then turned to what Asuka might say as he chuckled softly, the smell of drying blood filling his nose as the filters failed. She would give him the roasting of his life if she heard that. Especially now. Now that they weren't alone. That they were together. 'And we will be. I promised. Now, I just have to find a way out of here.'
. . .
Misato's head spun as she tried to make sense of Ritsuko's presentation. Terms like 'imaginary space', 'five-dimensional shadow', and 'Dirac Sea' bounced around inside her head and left her with a slight headache as they did so. She shook her head after a moment. "Ritsuko, I can assume that you're speaking as plainly as possible, but let me hear it like I'm five years old. The black shadow is the one that's our real target, correct?"
Ritsuko sighed but nodded. "Yes, such is the case, Misato. And when it comes to such a target, we only have one real solution left."
. . .
Asuka blinked as she awoke from another unsuccessful attempt to doze off. The filters had long since given out, and the smell of drying blood clogged her nose. She tightened her squeeze on her legs as she began to breathe heavily, her vision narrowing. She wasn't panicking. She was not panicking. She was not panicking because of the fact that she had an hour left in the reserve batteries, or because she was cold and hungry or because she was alone and wanted Shinji by her more than anything or the thought of I want to get out I want to get out please don't let me die here I don't want todiehereletmeoutletmeoutletmeout…
The dull pain in her hands and throat made her realize that she was screaming to get out, pounding at the side of the Entry Plug. After a moment more, she slumped back into her seat, dizzy and light-headed. She wrapped her arms around herself slowly. 'Mama… help me… please, help me...'
Shinji made no such efforts, his eyes squeezed shut as tears flowed. 'Asuka… Rei… Misato… Daniel… I'm sorry. I was worthless. I don't want this. I don't want to be alone anymore.'
. . .
Misato's mind was blank. Almost all thought had left it, replaced with seemingly endless rage. "You're telling me," she said in a deathly calm voice to Ritsuko, "that the only way we can save the Units is to drop every single N2 explosive we have on the shadow and use Unit-00's AT Field to try and push out the other two Units?"
Ritsuko nodded. "It's the only way we can defeat the Angel and still run the possibility of recovering the Units."
Daniel shook his head, barely restrained anger evident in his own eyes. "You and I both know that the Evas can't stand up to that sort of impact without their AT Fields. And the pilots sure as hell can't either. The impact would…" he trailed off, unwilling to finish the sentence or the morbid thought that went with it.
Ritsuko stared at Misato with no emotion in her eyes or voice. "This is the best chance we have of killing the Angel. I thought that you would be on board with such a plan, Major."
"No." Misato said as she circled around the table before Ritsuko could speak any further. "No, you don't get to worry about that. You get to worry about the squiggles on the whiteboard and what they mean and how the Angels fit into them. I'm the one that worries about killing the Angels. I'm the one that worries about how to put the pilot's lives on the line, and I'm the one that has to worry about getting them back out of danger!"
Ritsuko shook her head, the clinical look of a surgeon matching Misato's anger. "Not anymore, Misato. Right now, the destruction of the Angel and the recovery of Unit-01 have top priority in this mission. Unit-02, while a regrettable loss, is ultimately expendable should its recovery fail."
"Unit-01 and its pilot. Unit-02 and its pilot." Misato said, trembling slightly. There was silence for a moment before Ritsuko spoke again.
"In this case, the lives of the pilots have been deemed of secondary importance to the Evangelion themselves."
Ritsuko's head jerked back as Misato slapped her, her glasses clattering to the ground as Maya took a step back in wide-eyed terror. Misato finally found her voice as she heaved in a breath. "Those are my kids, damn you! You have no right to be such a heartless bitch!"
She grabbed Ritsuko by her lab coat, pulling Ritsuko towards her. "Why? Why is an Evangelion more important than its pilot? Why do you need Unit-01, but not Unit-02?"
Ritsuko looked into Misato's eyes, steel in her gaze. "I've already told you all you need to know."
"Bullshit!" Misato shouted. "There's a reason for it, and you have no right to keep those sorts of secrets! I have a right to know!"
"Trust me, Misato," Ritsuko said, breaking free of Misato's grip, "you don't want to know. You'll sleep better at night."
She picked up her glasses. "I'm taking command of the operation. You've become compromised emotionally, and you can no longer give orders that will benefit NERV, Tokyo-3, and Japan as a whole. Take this one off. I have calls to make."
Ritsuko walked out of the tent, pulling a phone out of her pocket. As Misato stared out after her, she whispered quietly. "But I do know, Ritsuko. And I wish to god that I didn't."
Daniel and Eleanor made their way to Misato's side as she leaned against the table and wept silently.
As Daniel and Eleanor sought to comfort Misato, Maya stood frozen in shocked silence. What did Senpai mean? Why did they need Unit-01, but not Unit-02? Or the pilots? What did they know that she didn't?
Shinji sat on a train car, alone, and listened to the sound of the tracks as the car trundled on. He blinked. A train car? He looked around and realized that everything seemed… hazy. Dream-like. He shook his head. What was he doing here?
He looked across from him and saw the little boy. He wore a striped shirt, but that was all Shinji could make out. The setting sun that backlit the boy obscured his face. That simply made Shinji wonder at him even more. Finally, he spoke. "Who… are you?"
. . .
In another train car, another child answered another Child. "Asuka Soryu-Langley." It could have been a statement, it could have been an inquiry. Asuka didn't know. "And what exactly does that mean? I'm Asuka Soryu-Langley."
The little girl sitting across from her betrayed nothing in her stance, and she had no face for Asuka to read as she spoke next. "I am you. One's self has another within itself. The self has always consisted of two selves."
. . .
"Two selves?" Shinji asked, a puzzled look on his face as he regarded the ever more mysterious boy.
"Yes, Shinji Ikari. The self who is watched by others, and the self who watches itself. The Shinji Ikari in Asuka Soryu-Langley's mind, the Shinji Ikari in Misato Katsuragi's mind, the Shinji Ikari in Daniel Theisman's mind. All these selves and more are different from each other, yet each is a true Shinji Ikari."
It paused for a moment. "You believe that you are worthless in the minds of others. Except for two. The Shinji Ikari in the mind of Daniel Theisman. And the Shinji Ikari in the mind of Asuka Soryu-Langley."
. . .
"So what if I don't care about anyone else's view on me except theirs?" Asuka said, her brow furrowed in annoyance at the enigmatic little girl. "They've helped make me something more, something better. They've helped me to be the best pilot I can be."
"And yet, you are afraid of them." The little girl continued without inflection. "You are afraid that they may leave you. You are afraid that Shinji Ikari will leave you."
"Of course I'm afraid of being abandoned. Who isn't?" Asuka said.
"You are especially afraid Shinji Ikari will leave you."
. . .
"No." Shinji said, resolve hardening within him as he stared down the boy. "We promised. We promised that we would make each other better. That we wouldn't leave as long as we wanted each other."
"And yet, you are still afraid." the boy said. "You are afraid that Asuka Soryu-Langley will judge you as worthless, and leave you. Are you afraid of being worthless?"
. . .
"No!" Asuka shouted. "No, I am not! I am the number one pilot! I am the best of the best! I am hardly worthless!"
The girl waited as she finished. "Are you afraid your only worth is through being a pilot?"
Asuka sighed. "No. No, not anymore. Or at least, not as much anymore. Shinji finds worth in me! He likes me. He… he loves me. He loves me, and I love him."
"Is it enough to be valued by other's selves, if you do not value your own self?"
. . .
"Maybe not." Shinji said with no small amount of exasperation. He was getting tired of this. "But maybe I don't have to just find worth in myself. Maybe I can find worth in what others think of me."
"It is foolish to believe that a self should not exist without others. A self must be able to stand alone, or it is not a self at all."
. . .
"You know what? I've had enough of this stupid psychoanalysis!" Asuka said, finally reaching the end of her rope. "I am happy with the way I live! I am happy that I can rely on someone else!"
. . .
"I'm happy that other people's opinions matter to me!" Shinji said, also finally out of patience. "I'm happy that I can turn to others in order to improve myself!"
. . .
Two voices shouted as one. "Now, get out of my head!"
In a moment of silence, the boy and the girl regarded the two pilots. Then they spoke, strangely doubled. "Oh. Well… I'm glad to hear it from you."
The train car shattered. The boy shattered. The girl shattered. And the pilots found themselves back in their Entry Plugs, more than slightly confused at the last statement that they heard.
The Plugs were dark and reeked of dry blood. It was dark and harsh and unforgiving, and the Children knew that their chances at survival were minuscule. Each relaxed as much as they could, waiting on the inevitable.
And as the darkness seemed to rush to claim them, an impossible light shone at the far end of the Plug, coming closer and closer. As they approached, the Children unknowingly mirrored each other as the light became something more, something they both had missed for longer than it seemed possible.
"Mama…"
"Mother…"
Three sets of eyes flashed in the darkness, and the sleeping giants woke up to their situation, the silence of the Dirac Sea pierced by twin growls.
Out in the physical world, as all this transpired, Rei stood ready on the edge of the shadow, as the full power of the Non-Nuclear explosive arsenal came screaming towards its target.
Misato lowered her pair of binoculars once again, sighing as grief weighed heavily on her. She knew that Rei's AT Field, no matter how much it had improved, would probably not be enough alone to break the Angel's grip on the two Units trapped within. The N2 barrage, all 992 missiles of it, on the other hand, would wipe out everything in the surrounding area. Up to and including the Angel.
Faez called out, her voice clear and unclouded. "N2 barrage in T-5 minutes."
Daniel stepped up beside Misato. Satisfied that they were sufficiently out of hearing, Daniel spoke quietly regardless. "I wish what they were planning for Leliel would work as well as they hope it does."
Misato shook her head and spoke in an equally quiet voice. "You and I both know that's impossible. They… they don't even care about Shinji. About Asuka. All Ritsuko and Gendo and SEELE care about is their precious Instrumentality." she sighed. "I miss the old Ritsuko. I miss my friend."
Daniel nodded, saying nothing more as they looked out at the vast shadow that covered much of the city.
In the Entry Plug of Unit-00, Rei did her best to hold back the tears that seemed to threaten to force their way out. She knew, fundamentally, that there was little to no chance at Shinji and Asuka surviving what would come next. So what could she do? What would happen to her? She considered the drugs, the tempting numbness that came with them.
'No. No, I will not be a doll anymore. I promised Asuka. I promised my friend.'
Daniel watched anxiously as the time drew near, looking down at his watch, then back up at the Angel, repeating the process every few minutes. Eleanor stood beside him, watching him out of the corner of her eye. "You know," she said through their link, "I think that they'll still be able to make it out in time."
"Maybe." Daniel replied, "But that was with just Shinji. Who knows what will happen with both of them."
He silently stewed for a moment, appreciative of Eleanor's support and calm confidence, which he felt through their link. He sighed after a moment. "This is what we get for changing the story so much, isn't it?"
Eleanor stared at Daniel with a deadpan expression. "You're asking me?"
Daniel nodded after a moment and turned to his watch. The time was soon. The timer counted down the final few minutes.
Then, the shadow rippled. Then it did it again, the sound of it like rolling thunder that made everyone pause.
The shadow's rippling, and the thunder that accompanied it, slowly but steadily increased in volume and speed, and Daniel made his way to his console, acting as everyone considered the phenomenon in somewhat shocked silence.
He sat down and keyed up Rei. As her face appeared, he felt sure of what he said next. "It appears the Angel might be in combat within itself. I think the pilots are putting up one last fight. See what you can do to help them out!"
Rei nodded. "Yes, sir. Deploying AT Field now." Rei concentrated, pouring all her stress, her anxiety, her desire to see her friends again, into battering at the AT Field of the Angel. The shadow began to ripple even more, like a sea struck by a massive tempest.
Misato blinked, then turned to look at Ritsuko. "Call off the airstrike! Or even just delay it for a moment! Anything to give Shinji and Asuka a chance!"
Ritsuko shook her head. "I can't, Major. Now might be the perfect time to strike! And besides, there's no way that the Evangelions would even be functional. Their power reserves-"
As Ritsuko spoke, the shadow shattered like glass, the sound of it breaking reverberating like a massive gunshot as the sphere above, whose white details had been pulsating in time with the waves of the shadow, suddenly went totally dark.
The world was silent for a moment as it regarded the now pitch-black sphere. Then, it bulged in one spot. Then another.
Finally, two massive hands shot out of the sphere, sending geysers of blood, or at least what appeared to be blood, rocketing out of the Angel. The arms pulled back in, another hand joining them at the tears to widen them still further.
The gouts of red liquid became waterfalls, as the Angel was slowly torn open from the inside.
From it emerged the bloodsoaked forms of Unit-01 and Unit-02. And from them, an eerie howl, at once familiar and terrifyingly alien, echoed across the empty city of Tokyo-3 as the Evangelions made their presence known again.
All nearby were shocked into silence at the brutality and the seemingly bestial nature of the scene. Misato watched in almost slack-jawed awe as the Angel's corpse began to slowly sink to the ground, bearing the Evangelions on it like a sanguine palanquin. 'Their mothers have woken up.' Misato thought numbly as the Angel touched the street it once floated over and sagged as the Evangelions walked out of it.
Ritsuko looked up at them with no small amount of fear as the Evangelions came to a standstill a few meters away from the pulped-up corpse of the Angel. "What did we copy these things from?" she said, almost in a whisper.
Misato shook her head as she heard Ritsuko. 'If you don't know… what does that say about what you've done? What you're supposed to do? What do I do with you, Ritsuko Akagi?'
Hours, and no small amount of cleaning, later, Shinji woke up in the hospital. Again. It was becoming a tiring habit, he thought as he sat up. But, he noted with a small smile, at least there were familiar faces to wake up to.
Daniel and Eleanor were there, as a matter of course, and so was Rei. Asuka was in another room, he learned with no small amount of disappointment, and Misato was out dealing with the clean-up of the amazingly messy Angel.
As they talked to each other, Shinji thought back to what had happened just before he passed out. 'Was that my mother? Did Asuka see the same thing? I'll have to ask her.'
. . .
As the day ended, Shinji and Asuka stepped out of Daniel's car and made their way into their apartment. They would be alone again tonight, as Misato had gotten up to her hips, almost literally, in overseeing the cleanup operation.
As they walked in, they both took deep breaths. They were home again. Comfortable, familiar, home.
Neither one of them had ever been so excited to see her… no, it was their bedroom now. As they got comfortable in each other's arms, Shinji sighed. "Asuka…" he paused, relishing being able to say that name to the person that owned it.
Asuka looked into Shinji's eyes. "Shinji." she chuckled slightly. "I never could have imagined not knowing this, now. How warm and calm and… and exciting this is. Liking you. Being with you."
She paused for a moment, her expression growing thoughtful. "And it's making me think. About how we might never have been able to do this. How today could have been the end."
Shinji cupped Asuka's face delicately. "No, Asuka. Don't talk about that. Don't think about that. We're here. We're safe."
Asuka nodded after a moment. "I know. Just like I know now that you'll keep your promise to not leave. I… I like you, Shinji. A lot. And I know that you do too."
She paused again, seeming to grow uncertain. "But… Shinji… do you… do you love me?"
Shinji gasped slightly. The next moment seemed to stretch into eternity before he answered. "Yes, Asuka. I love you."
Asuka sniffled. "Shinji… I love you too. And… I want to be yours."
Shinji's eyes widened as he took in exactly what that meant. "Asuka… I mean... what you said earlier…"
Asuka rolled her eyes. "It's fine, Shinji. Even if I hadn't gotten any protection a few days ago, I wouldn't have cared. We could have died. I think we may have actually died for a moment. But we aren't dead. You aren't dead. You're alive and here and you're mine and... and you love me. And I want to show that I love you. I want all of you."
Shinji took this in shocked silence, then nodded as he stroked her face, tears pricking at his eyes. "Okay. Yes. Yes, Asuka. I love you." After a moment he blushed. "Huh." then he began to chuckle.
Asuka arched an eyebrow. "'Huh'? What's the matter?"
Shinji's chucking grew stronger. "You mentioned getting protection earlier."
Asuka nodded, slowly beginning to piece together what had Shinji so pleased. "Yeah?"
Shinji's chuckling turned to laughter. "Well, after that first night, when we got together… well, I found a vending machine at lunch and… well, you know. I got a few."
Asuka finally fully understood, and her laughter joined Shinji's, lasting for a glorious moment before it died down. Asuka wiped away tears of mirth and looked at Shinji again. "You, the meekest pilot I've ever seen, felt so confident after that night, that you decided, the next day even, to get multiple pieces of protection, just on the off chance you might score?"
She laughed again, a pure, happy sound that sent Shinji over the moon with joy. "A lot more of me rubbed off on you than I thought! Come here!"
She pulled him into a passionate kiss, and he rose to meet her.
As the cleanup of the Angel's remains stretched into the night, Misato looked around her at what looked like a murder scene writ large. Which, she admitted after a moment, wasn't necessarily far from the truth.
Blood was still splattered all over some buildings, and though the streets in the immediate area were, for the most part, clean, it would still be weeks before this part of town was even declared habitable again.
Misato sighed. It was nights like these where she treasured the beer that she sipped as she watched the work flow onward around her.
After a moment though, she was mildly surprised to look over and see Maya, clearly looking uncomfortable and out of her element.
"Maya?" Misato asked after a moment, pausing as Maya jumped slightly. "What are you doing way out here? Aren't you and Ritsuko usually together?"
"Well," Maya said slowly, shuffling as she spoke, "Senpai is busy elsewhere tonight. I don't know why, but Commander Ikari called her into a meeting."
She took a moment to gather her courage, then began again. "Earlier today, you mentioned knowing things, after Senpai walked out of the tent. What did you mean by that?"
Misato glared at Maya with no small amount of alarm, causing the scientist to shrink back. After glancing around to ensure they were out of earshot, Misato closed her eyes and sighed after a moment. "Yeah. I've learned a lot of things recently. About NERV. About the Evangelion. And what Ritsuko said then was true too. You won't sleep well at night if you know what I know." She paused to let the implication sink into Maya.
Maya's eyes widened as she considered this. Then, she surprised Misato as an unexpected resolve filled her eyes. "Maybe, Major. But Senpai is… disturbed by the things she knows. I've worked with her long enough to tell. And… I care for her. For all that we do to try and save the world from the Angels. If knowing will help me help her, whatever form that help takes…" she paused for a moment. "Then sleepless nights will be worth it."
Misato's brow rose as she heard this. 'Oh, Ritsky. You have no idea what you've got, do you?' she thought to Kaji for a moment, and looked forward to another of their 'meetings', then quashed the thought as she regarded Maya with new eyes. "Well, then, Maya… you've started down our little secret path. I'll set up a meeting with others who can help me fill you in."
"One thing, though." Misato said as Maya nodded. "This is a secret. You can't let anyone else know you know about these things. That includes Ritsuko. Some sleepless nights are honestly going to be the least of your worries once you know about some of the things we know. Are you still willing to learn the terrible truth?"
Silence rose between them like an invisible wall. One that came crumbling down as Maya nodded. "Yes. If I can help, then there's no reason not to."
Misato sighed. "Alright. Well, Maya… welcome to the end of the world."
Asuka lay in bed, slightly sweaty and glowing as she considered the window beside her, the moonlight streaming in. Shinji's slow, calm breathing was like music to her, and she looked over to see him sleeping peacefully, one arm around her.
This… this felt good. Better than good. She blushed slightly. 'Man, and I've called Misato a pervert before for talking about some of this. I might be more of a pervert than she is, frankly.'
She stifled a chuckle at the thought. Then her thoughts turned to something else. Something that had been at the back of her mind all night now.
'Did I really see my mother in there? Did he? Or did he see something else?' she sighed slightly. 'I can ask him later. Right now, he's all mine.'
She drew the thin blanket over them and tenderly kissed Shinji's forehead. 'I love you, Shinji Ikari. And I will never forget that.'
Next Time on Apotheosis Echo...
A storm portends the coming of a foe wearing a familiar face. New Children are revealed, and the truth, or at least a great facet of it, is revealed at last. Who are Daniel and Eleanor Theisman? And why are they here? Next Episode: Revelations in Starlight and Steel.