* Follow me on Twitter! @DoMermaidsPoop *

Please excuse my lack of pants.

I am a 134-year old Lunarian with butt cancer and eye AIDS (I had unprotected sex with my eye). Sometimes my thoughts randomly convert themselves into words and submit themselves to this website. For that, I am sorry.

If for any reason you feel the need to kill me, please do. However, this action will lead to my soul inhabiting your body and using it to violently rape your family.

Good day.