Chapter 22

The next morning both men had breakfast together before Steve had to attend his course for spinal exercises and Danny wanted to talk to Dr. Andrews.
He had debated with himself whether to tell his friend or not, but in the end, he had decided to tell him later. He would need to apologize for sure, but he hoped that Steve would understand his reasons. He didn't want to go behind Steve's back, but if Dr. Andrews would deny his request there was no need for Steve to know at all.

"Detective Williams. It is nice to see you again. Have a seat.
What can I help you with?"
"I…I…wow. Sorry…it sounded so easy when I thought about everything. Now that I am here, it seems…inappropriate…foolish…"
"Don't worry. Just tell me. Just like my patients you can tell me everything. This is a safe place for everyone."
"That's what my therapist is saying too."
"Good. Do you trust him with that?"
"Yeah, I do. I am seeing him for years now."
"You can trust me too."
"I know."
"You do?"
"Yes. If you weren't trustworthy, Steve wouldn't talk to you."
"Interesting. Good to know. Now, what do you want to tell me?"
"I don't think this is the right place for Steve," Danny blurted out, then he backpaddled and said "I mean…I mean you are doing a good job – all of you – and he needs that, but he shouldn't stay here."
Dr. Andrews frowned, then he looked expectantly at Danny, waiting for more.
"See, this…this sounds stupid. But it's the truth. He…he needs something else and he can't get that here. It's…it's…"
"Detective Williams," the psychologist interrupted. "I don't think that you came her to make stupid proposals. If you have decided to come and talk to me, you have thought everything through and were confident about it. So, why don't you just explain to me what you have in mind and we'll see if that is possible."
The encouragement was everything Danny needed. Had he been reluctant and doubtful when he had started the conversation, the words came out like he had rehearsed them for months.
"Steve is someone who needs to be outside and he needs the ocean. I know he can go there when he has no courses or at the weekends, but he needs that constantly. He needs the smell, the view, the sound of the waves. Just everything. It's a big part of his coping mechanism. And yes, he needs occupation, activity and the sessions with you too. But we need to find something that fits all of that. We need to make him an outpatient."
"I don't think that is a good idea."
Danny actually managed to blush.
"W…why not?"
"Because he also needs someone who can look after him. He had made progress, but he is still reluctant – to say it nicely – to ask for help. The care workers are checking in on him more regularly now to avoid more self-inflicted injuries.
An outpatient comes in for one or two therapies a day in a short succession. Commander McGarrett sometimes has a course early morning and the next in the afternoon. He can't stay here all day without having a room. That means we have to change his whole therapy plan, because I don't want him to drive back and forth several times a day."
"That is not what I had in mind either."
"Then tell me what you had in mind."
"I have found…a nice little bungalow we can rent. I got a favorable offer. It has a small private beach. I would bring him here in the morning and pick him up again around noon. I stay with him. We are going to prepare the meals together. He can sit at the beach or inside, he can go for a swim or a run. And he can even keep the dog there."
Dr. Andrews had made some notes while Danny had been talking. When Danny finished his speech, he looked expectantly at the psychologist, hoping for a positive reaction after all.
Dr. Andrews thought for a moment.
"You had really thought a lot about that. And it sounds plausible, but I still see a few problems.
The first and foremost is that I don't think that you will be able to do your job and keep an eye on your friend without exhausting yourself. I don't want you to need treatment here too in the end.
I know he needs you. You've already played a big part in his recovery and the progress he had made, but there is still a long way to go and even with the medication doing their work now it is an every-day struggle for commander McGarrett which isn't going to vanish any time soon. There will be good days and bad days, but unfortunately, also still really bad days. And they are going to put your friendship to the test more than ever before.
The next thing is your job. How will you guarantee to be here every day? It's not like you can leave in the middle of an investigation.
And the third thing is, that we don't have an open spot for the commander if your plan doesn't work out and he will need to come back. That would have been possible in the beginning, because I would have been able to legitimate a return with the severity of the commander's case and possible adjustment issues. But since it worked out, I won't be able to use that again – at least not with the long waiting list we have at the moment."
Actually, Danny hadn't thought about the last point, because he was convinced that Steve was better of near the ocean, but he had taken the other points into consideration for sure.
"I've never been so deep into depression, have never bottled things up for so long and for sure hadn't experienced as much and severe traumas as Steve did, but I had my fair share and know that it is hard to get over this stuff or to learn to cope. That means I also know that it is going to be even harder for Steve. Not only because of his memories, but also because of the way he got raised and what he had been taught in his military training. But I know he is capable of beating this, to learn to live again – because he wants it.
Giving up is not his style. And I won't do that either. He is worth the fight.
To your second point: I've talked to the governor, to the momentary leader of Five-0 and the team. I am doing desk duty only and I am going to work part-time for the next three months with the option to extend it and to – occasionally - take a day off if Steve has a bad day. The governor wasn't pleased, but she finally agreed after she had learned that it is most likely the only option to bring Steve back to the Task Force and his return the only way to keep me."
"You are really convinced that your plan is going to work, right?"
"Yes," came out of Danny's mouth before he had even thought about it. It was followed by a "no" though shortly after.
"I mean, I believe it is the right thing for him, especially with Eddie by his side, but of course, I can't promise that it will work. I "just" believe that it is going to work. It just has to."
"Looks like you've already organized everything. I don't exactly know what you expect from me. I want to continue treating commander McGarrett, but you know that I have no right to keep him here if he doesn't want to. If he likes your plan, I will make him an outpatient and adjust his therapy plan– if he doesn't, I don't see why we are even having this conversation, because I am sure as hell – sorry for that – won't try to convince him otherwise."
"He doesn't know yet." Danny stated.
The doctor was stunned.
"You organized all this without talking to him? That is…weird…I have to ask you again: What do you expect from me?"
"To tell me that this is not completely insane and I just reacted to our "beach day". That this is going to work and that you will continue to support Steve the way you've already did."
"Of course, I will support the commander in any possible way. And this is not insane. Considering how well you know your friend, what you've said about his relation to the ocean and bringing in a dog – it might even work. But I am still not a friend of this. There are a lot of risks and as I said my main concern is you. But you have made up your mind so, the only thing I can offer you is to call me if you need advice or help."